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When You’re Overthinking Your Overthinking · The Everyday Reset

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, imagine this.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: You finally sit down for the evening.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: The dishes are done.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Your phone is charging across the room.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's a show you've been looking forward to watch, and for once, nothing needs your attention.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: But conversation from earlier slips into your mind.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you came across a little harsh.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you should have explained yourself differently.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: You notice what you're doing.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm overthinking.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: You turn back towards the television.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: 30 seconds later, you're thinking about the conversation again.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're irritated.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've already dealt with this.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I still thinking about it?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: You try to focus harder.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: You check whether you feel calm.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: You wonder whether you're using the right coping skill.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Then another thought shows up.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm always going to be like this?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: The show is still playing, but you've missed most of it.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, the original conversation becomes less important than the new question.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I get my mind to stop?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You sat down to rest, then turned rest into another test you haven't passed.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: If that sounds familiar, let's spend a few minutes here.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Everyday Recent.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Solomon Richburg.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a licensed therapist and the creator of CBC Comcards.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: One situation, one skill, one next step.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast provides general education, not therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health advice.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Listening does not establish a therapist-client relationship.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're talking about what happens when you start overthinking your overthinking.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes the hardest part of having a busy mind is how you treat yourself for having one.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: At first, you're thinking about something that happened.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Then you start judging the fact that you're still thinking about it.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I should be better at this.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And know what I'm supposed to do.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I just enjoy my evening?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: That can feel especially frustrating when you've been making an effort.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've gone to therapy, maybe you've read the books or practiced some skills.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: You've recognized the pattern and you expect that recognizing should make it disappear.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So when the thought comes back, you take that as evidence that you're doing something wrong.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let me offer you a different way to practice tonight.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking, have I stopped thinking about it yet?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Try asking, What would I like to give my attention to right now?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's the skill for this episode.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Gently return your attention to something you've chosen, even when the thoughts are still there.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to win an argument with your mind before you participate in your evening.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to that couch.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: The conversation pops up again, and your first reaction is, here we go, I'm doing it again.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: For this practice, you might simply notice I'm getting caught up in the loop.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it brief.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to explain the thought, inspect it, or find the perfect phrase.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then return to something concrete in the activity you've chose.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sit to the next line of dialogue.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Notice what's happening in the scene.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: When your attention wanders again, return again.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: That wandering is something to notice and respond to.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to add a speech about how badly you're doing.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now I can almost hear the question.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: But solemnly, what if I return to the show and I'm still thinking about the conversation?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: That can happen too.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: You might hear the dialogue and still feel unsettled.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: You might enjoy a small part of the scene, then notice your mind pulling you back.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: The practice doesn't require a quiet mind.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Try measuring it by the return itself.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: You notice where your attention went and you brought some of it back to what you wanted to be doing.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's give that a try.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you're driving or doing anything that requires full attention, stay focused on that activity.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can practice this later.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, think of an ordinary activity you would like to return to after this episode.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: This might be finishing a meal, listening to someone folding laundry or reading a page.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Choose something small enough that you can actually begin.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now imagine that familiar thought showing up halfway through.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's you still haven't figured this out.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or you shouldn't feel this way anymore.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Notice the pull to drop everything and work on your mind again.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Then let your next action be part of the activity you choose.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Fold the next shirt, read the next sentence, listen to the person's next few words.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself a moment to picture doing that.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: You may have noticed an urge to ask whether the excuse worked.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: For this practice, you don't need to keep checking how calm you feel.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself continue with the activity for a little while.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And let's make an important distinction here.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes there's really something to address.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: You owe someone an apology.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: A bill needs pain.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: A decision needs attention.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Take useful action when it's needed.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: This exercise is for those moments when you're repeatedly turning the same material over and criticizing yourself for still having it on your mind.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: If worrying is regularly interfering with your sleep, relationships, or everyday functioning, being professional support is a reasonable next step.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: But as far as tonight, return to the person on the couch.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: The thought shows up again, they notice it, they turn towards the screen and catch the next line.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: A few minutes later, they laugh at something they would have missed.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: The conversation may still come back, but there was a moment of participation, a little room for the evening they wanted to have.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's a place to begin.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Before you go, choose one activity you'll return to today.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Keep the goals small.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: One sentence, one small task, one moment of listening.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you find it useful to have a physical reminder nearby, I created the CBC Calm Cars as a portable resource.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can find them through the link in the show notes.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Purchasing is optional.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can practice today's skill without buying anything.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode put words to something you've been experiencing, share it with someone who might recognize that same struggle.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Solomon Richburg, and this is the everyday reset.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: One situation, one skill, one next step.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Champions are built one skill at a time.