Latest / The Daily Sarcast / September 9th, 2026: You Can Now Go To An Airport Without A Flight, The TV's Are Watching You And Sleeping Forever

Transcript

September 9th, 2026: You Can Now Go To An Airport Without A Flight, The TV's Are Watching You And Sleeping Forever · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is sponsored by Self-Induced Comas.
• 0:04
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  inbox, the news, family, the crushing realization that summer is over?
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  Try Self-Induced Comas. Why spend hours meditating when you could simply opt out of consciousness?
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  Self-Induced Comas, because sometimes the best way to deal with your problems
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  is to not be awake for them.
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  When the Americans stop doing memes, stop throwing shade, stop trying to be
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  tough, and start being serious about having those discussions,
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  we can have those discussions.
• 0:33
  Mark Carney, Canada's Prime Minister.
• 0:36
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I gave you the news and made me a laugh.
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  I'm Lindsay Vernick, and today is September 9th, 2026.
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  Okay, I think I do sound sick, and I'm going to be honest. I am in such a freaking trance right now.
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  I've been sleeping since I got home, so I've literally almost slept for 24 hours
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  now. I'm not even kidding.
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  Like just a little bit ago, I was telling my dad how my roommate is playing
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  this crazy after party in a couple days in Philadelphia.
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  And I was like, she's playing at Kung Fu Panda. And I kept Googling Kung Fu
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  Panda, so confused why her show wasn't coming up and why this movie was coming
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  up. And it was her show was actually a Kung Fu necktie.
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  It's this bar in Philadelphia. And if you're around in Philadelphia this week,
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  you should definitely come to one of her shows. she's playing on Thursday and Friday night.
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  Anyways, in real news, your TV might actually be spying on you apparently.
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  So there's this new investigation into LG smart TVs and they found that some
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  of the TVs can collect microphone audio while it's just kind of like on and not really being in use.
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  It can scan nearby Wi-Fi devices, track what you're watching,
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  including content coming in through the HDMI cord.
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  They use technology called automatic contact recognition or ACR,
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  which can identify what's playing on the screen and send that information back
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  for advertising purposes.
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  So LG's advertising division has even described the company's position to advertisers
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  by saying, quote, we own the glass.
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  I mean, that's a pretty bold thing to say about something that you buy at Best Buy.
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  LG says its data collection is disclosed through its private policies and user
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  agreements that you just click OK for.
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  But this investigation does raise questions about how much consumers actually
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  do understand when they click agree.
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  So if you ever were wondering if the TV is collecting information about you, it is.
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  In airport news, I mean, I swear to God, I'm not trying to do all airport travel
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  stuff this week. It just keeps coming up.
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  The TSA has launched this new program called DateSide, and it allows you to
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  go through airport security without having a plane ticket.
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  This program is available at 13 airports right now, including LAX,
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  Las Vegas, Dallas-Fort Worth, and San Diego. go.
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  And they're planning on rolling this out to more airports.
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  So the idea of it is if you want to stay goodbye to somebody at the gate,
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  meet a friend during a layover or have a business meeting or just go shopping
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  and eat at the airport, you can apply for a gate side pass.
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  You know, like how we used to back in the old days. I mean, I wasn't around for that, but you know.
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  I love that go shopping and eat at the airport is now an officially actual reason to go to an airport.
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  Because, you know, who wouldn't want to have to go spend time in an airport
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  when they're not actually traveling?
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  This pass is free and it's valid for one day only.
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  And approved visitors can even use TSA PreCheck if you have it.
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  So now you can officially go to the airport without having to travel anywhere.
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  You can go because you hit yourself too. And over in Pennsylvania,
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  Senator John Fetterman is having a little bit of a career identity crisis.
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  John Fetterman, you know, that guy who literally looks like he works in the
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  grip department but is actually a politician, is now increasingly popular with manga.
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  But that bipartisan love affair may be hitting a rough patch.
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  So last week, he was apparently skipping some Senate hearings and constitute
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  meetings, and some of his old staffers said that he has been increasingly disengaged from his job.
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  Apparently, at one point, he skipped 11 out of 12 full committee hearings,
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  and his staff were told to make
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  sure he was marked present even when he stayed for literally a minute.
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  Fetterman has obviously denied doing any of this and called all of this reporting
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  smears and half truths, and now all of his Democratic friends are publicly attacking
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  him while his new fan base appears to be on the other side of the aisle.
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  So now John Fetterman has achieved every politician's dream.
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  Everyone hates him equally.
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  And Lindsay Life, as I said, I am still in a trance.
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  I kid you not, I went to bed on Monday night at like nine o'clock and didn't
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  wake up till three o'clock yesterday.
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  And I've still been sleeping all day today. So I'm like.
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  Literally and just in full on recovery mode. I mean, I've like been working
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  nonstop for three weeks straight.
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  And I did not have a single day off at all.
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  I mean, on my quote unquote off days, I was still working because like you can't
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  literally just stop working.
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  It's nothing would happen literally if you stopped working,
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  it was a lot like overnight camp the show like if you've ever been to camp sleepaway
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  camp travel camp any kind of camp,
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  it was the same like you're all together for like you're in this big group for
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  like a couple weeks you know and just constantly together no matter what you're eating together,
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  you're working together.
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  I don't know you're not sleeping together because we did have our own hotel
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  rooms but essentially every single aspect of it part of sleeping,
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  that's what we were doing together so now being home after camp or work or whatever
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  you want to call it it's literally the same i have so much laundry to do i'm
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  so exhausted and i just miss all of my friends,
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  and it's just so sad because literally no one lives in new york but hopefully
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  i get to see some friends this weekend when i'm in philadelphia,
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  things I'm thinking about how everyone at work started calling me an alien,
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  and it's kind of funny it actually is really funny because I've gotten this
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  before my last boss called me an alien because every day I wake up and I act
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  like it's my first day on earth,
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  and then when my boss on this show started calling me an alien she had no idea
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  by the way that I've been called an alien before that's how I know that I really
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  am one because I just like
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  I never know what's happening I mean like I do know what's happening but I seem
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  like I don't know what's happening and also a lot of the times I don't know
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  what's happening either,
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  I have a sign and if you want to do it next time you see me this is how you
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  do it you put your thumb and your pointer finger together and then your middle,
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  and your index finger together or no.
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  No, sorry. See, I don't even know how to do it. You put your pinky finger and
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  your ring finger together, and then your middle finger and your index finger
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  together, and then you wave.
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  And that's Lindsay's alien symbol.
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  Cooking tip of the day. I still have not gotten there yet, but I did go to the
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  store yesterday to buy some food so I can cook.
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  So today's the day I think it's going to happen for me.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date.
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  Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Sorry I rambled so much today. Again, I am so tired.
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  I just, I need to go back to sleep forever.