Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 290. Every January, same list, same drop off by March: What am I doing wrong?

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290. Every January, same list, same drop off by March: What am I doing wrong? · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I need your advice. Are you okay? What happened? Promise
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: it won't be too much. Bring it in.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Welcome to our bestie segment. This is the place for you.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to our bestie segment. If you are
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: new here, we have two episodes per week that are
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: allocated for our bestie segment where you guys bring in
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: your anonymous submissions. And honestly, it's part of our favorite
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: time of the week because we get to connect with
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: you guys and also hear your real raw human stories
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: that no one really likes to talk about. But if
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: you're new here, again, as I mentioned, This podcast is
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: all about having the harder conversations and the things that
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: most people avoid. So, Ashley, bring it in. What is
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: our submission for the day? All right.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: The title is Every January, same list, same drop off
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: by March. What am I doing wrong? Oh, I think
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: this might be like around goal setting maybe. I'm guessing
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: every January. Let's get into it. All right. I feel
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: a little bit silly writing this because it's not a
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: real problem, but I've completely lost faith in myself when
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: it comes to goals. I was right. Yep. Every year
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I do the same thing. I write the list. I
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: buy the planner. I tell myself this is the year.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: And for maybe a month, I'm actually doing it. I'm
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: up early, meal prepped, off my phone. Then I get
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: sick or work goes crazy and it just stops. And
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I don't even notice it stopped until months later when
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I find the list again in my notes app. I've
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: stopped telling people what I'm working on because I've announced
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: too many things that went nowhere. My sister asked me
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: how the online store idea was going the other day.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, still figuring it out, which is
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: a lie. I haven't opened that folder since February. I'm
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: 32 and I still feel like I'm waiting to turn
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: into the version of me that only exists on paper.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Everyone just says, be consistent. I get it. I do.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: But nobody explains how you're meant to do that when
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: you can't trust yourself to keep a promise you made
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: in your own head. Anyway, sorry this is so long.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: How do you guys actually finish something?
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Aww.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: We've all done it before.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely. Completely understand where you're at. And yeah, I
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: just want you to know you're not the only person
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: who's experiencing that feeling.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Everyone's listening going like, yeah, I've done that many times.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I remember so many times when I was that
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: person where I was saying the thing and not doing
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: the thing. And it's just about refining your behavior. It's
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: just about knowing that, yes, you might not have been
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: somebody who could trust yourself in the past, but what
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: are you going to do about it moving forward? And also,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: there's something that we actually have for this. We created
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: a goal-setting system that's really helped both Ashley and myself
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: really be able to like plan for the goals. I
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: think it's easy to talk about it, to write it down.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Like I'm sure you have thousands of notes in your
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: phone where it's like idea and this and that and
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: business and this. But if you don't create a plan
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: to act on it, like you're not going to do it.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: It makes it so much more complicated. And like our goals,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: our lives in general are already so complicated and so
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: full of life, just life and responsibilities. So breaking down
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: goals for us in the last two years has been
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: honestly a game changer. So We have a 10-step goal-setting system.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: So essentially, we run you through exactly our 10-step system
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: to achieving your goals, making them feel seamless, and making
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: sure that you can trust yourself again. So send us
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: the word goal-setter on Instagram, on SheRises, and we can
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: send it straight to you.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: It's free. You can literally download it and use it
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: as many times as you like. And like you said,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: it's really easy to write out a goal, but what
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: do you do with that goal? Whereas this is literally
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: 10 steps that we guide you through on exactly how
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: to break it all down and and have actionable steps
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: that you can implement straight away and stack upon. So
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: you can download it, print it out, have it there
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: in front of you and redo it once you've achieved
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: one goal, like go again and do the next. It's
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: such an epic formula. We have spoken about this in
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: another episode before, but we came up with this system
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: because we were doing all the things. We thought, let's
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: just actually put this in a step-by-step that we can
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: follow ourselves. And it literally has helped us be able
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: to achieve goals so much faster because we don't get distracted.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: We're not procrastinating and When it's out on paper and
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: we've got a plan, we can see how important it is.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: And even the step one, which is a big truth dump,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: it really highlights what actually is important to you. Because
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: sometimes I think we write goals down that maybe we
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: think sound nice where our parents have convinced us or
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: society has convinced us that we need to have to
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: look a certain way or feel a certain way. But
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: when you get really truthful for what you want. I
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: truly believe once you've got a good system and you've
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: got a roadmap to move forward, if it's truly important
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: to you, you go hard at it.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, very true.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: If it's not really a passion and you're just doing
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: it to tick the box or to look a certain
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: way or hope feel a certain way or to fill
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: a void, it's very easy to park it to the side.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Once you've got the plan, you've done the 10 steps,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I can almost guarantee that you're going to move forward.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's beautiful. And right now you're obviously
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: in a season of trusting yourself again.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: You need to give yourself evidence that you're a trustworthy
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: person that follows through.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: That's right. And how do you build trust? You build evidence.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: When you have evidence, you build belief. And then when
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: you build belief, you build more evidence. And it's just
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: this beautiful cycle and upwards, not down in the way
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: that you've been experiencing. Every single decision you've made up
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: until now is like hindering your self-trust with every single decision.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: So what if you decided that every single decision you
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: make from this moment is just as important as the
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: next to actually rebuild your sense of self-trust? And the
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: goal setting workbook will help you do that. Definitely.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: You think about like a partner or a friend or
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: someone you know, and they say they're going to do
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: something for you, then they don't do it. What happens?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: They've broken that trust. You don't trust that they're going
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: to follow through. You don't trust that they're a reliable person.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Yet we don't have that same relationship with ourselves. It's like, oh,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if I don't do it. I'm only
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: letting myself down. It does matter. Because the relationship you
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: have with yourself is the most important thing. Be the
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: woman that follows through.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Calling myself out here. I did this with Ashley not
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: that long ago. With what? Posting on social media. Oh.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Just with everything that we had like going on and
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: just like she rises and doing all the back end stuff.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I was like, I kept saying that I was going
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: to post like our allocated snippets for the podcast on
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: my personal page. And I just was like falling behind
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: in doing that. But now we have a system and
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: a structure that allows me to like do that and
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: stay consistent with that. And it's just, it's so easy
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: to be that person to do that. You don't mean
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: to be. No. Not for yourself or fathers, but it's
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: just like, okay, now- What am I going to do
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: to make sure that I can actually show up and
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: not let myself and others down? Exactly. It's really cool.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: So that's all your guys are free. It's just that
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: we want to give back to the community and for
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: you guys to be able to move as fast as
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: what we move. And it takes structure.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And yeah, this is just super, super helpful. So I
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: hope you love it. Download it and let us know
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: how you go.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You don't have to be that girl anymore. You can
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: be the girl that follows through.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Good luck, girl. Bye.