Latest / The Reformed Tired Girls Club Podcast / Life’s a Climb, but the View From Being a Cycle Breaker’s (Mostly) Great
Transcript
- Heather Copfer: Hi, you guys, welcome back to another episode of the Reformed Tired Girls Club podcast. As per usual, you know me. Hi, I'm your host, Heather, and let's cover the bases. So if you love this episode and want to comment, like, subscribe, leave me a review, all the good stuff that helps me, helps the podcast, I would really appreciate it. And you know I appreciate you. And thanks for being here. Just have to say that. So today I want to talk. About my fellow cycle breakers, about my girls who maybe feel a little bit different in your family, or maybe you just feel different in general and you feel like an odd ball out and like you think differently. And maybe you want something better for yourself. Maybe you want something different for yourself. Is this you? Is this you? If this is you, let me know. And I'm sure you know this, but. Being a cycle breaker is hard. And I'm not saying that from a place of ego. I'm just saying that from a place of experience. It can feel very isolating. It can feel very confusing. It can feel very lonely as well to go against the grain, to go against the norm, to go against what has been exemplified for you. And it can also feel scary. It's like a whole cocktail of emotions. being a cycle breaker and it can feel like such a constant uphill battle, but the battle, I think, in my opinion, is worth more than staying in the pain of repeating generational cycles. Of of staying living with chronic health issues, of staying living in a body that feels not like you, that feels worn down, that feels exhausted, and prevents you from living and enjoying your life. The battle, the uphill battle of being a cycle breaker is worth it to be all of that. And when I say being a cycle breaker, that can really go for a variety of different categories. But this is a wellness podcast. This is a space where we talk about our mental health and growing up with chronic health issues, growing up in a toxic home environment and what that is like, the toll that these things have taken on my body, have taken on your body. So when I'm talking about being a cycle breaker, this is what I'm talking about. One being deciding to break the cycle of health issues, of chronic health issues, of those genetic health issues. And you if you're listening, you can't see my hands, and this may be cropped off in my YouTube video, but I put it air quotes around genetic because yes, I do want to acknowledge that genetics do pre ⁓ excuse me, do play a role in What we are genetically predisposed to, which health issues we are genetically predisposed to. But that does not mean we are doomed to live with those health issues, right? If you're familiar with epigenetics, it's essentially basically we have to allow those genes to turn on. Genetics play a role, yes, but they are not your fate. You have to allow for the genetic expression. Of that particular health issue to happen. So I'm gonna use me as an example. I come from a family where cystic acne is in the health history of the family, narcolepsy runs in the family. And these are two things that I did deal with very deeply, and I had a really, really hard time with. And for a while, I accepted this is just the hand I was dealt. I'm never gonna have great skin. I'm never gonna have this abundant energy and I'm going to have to plan around these crazy ass, crazy ass, crazy ass sleep attacks. And I I bought into that, right? And I'm not gonna go too deep into this because I've talked about this in other episodes. Go check out the previous ones if you wanna learn more about me and and my story with cystic acne and narcolepsy. But it did get to a point for me where I decided that no, I can't live like this anymore. I'm gonna choose the harder path to stop listening to what people are telling me, to stop accepting that I am gonna be stuck with this for the rest of my life and I'm gonna figure it out. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be an uphill battle, but I'm gonna figure it out. And I did. If you're watching this on video, my skin looks pretty good, right? Again, I'm not I'm not trying to be vain, but like, yeah, my skin is glowing as a 31-year-old was not glowing for a lot of my life. And if you can relate, and if you're like me, where you wanna stop buying into that narrative that you're stuck with these health problems, you know how incredibly difficult that is to navigate because people are gonna have opinions. People are going to solicit their opinions even though you didn't ask for it, and you might have friends who don't understand it, don't understand when you change your lifestyle. And it feels like you're just up against a lot. And that's why it's really important to find people who understand you, who aren't going to judge you and who are going to support you. That is so key. So that's one part of being a cycle breaker that I'm talking about. Breaking that cycle of believing you are stuck with health issues that run in your family. And two, I'm also talking about breaking generational patterns, patterns that perhaps your parents exhibit that are toxic and unhealthy and that very negatively impacted you as a child. And you've had to have done a lot of work throughout your life to overcome subconscious programming, to change limiting beliefs, and to work really hard. Again, it's not easy work, and it's a very hard path to go down to break that generational cycle and that generational pattern of repeated trauma, it's hard because sometimes that means that you are going to have to separate yourself from the family you were born into. This may rub some people the wrong way, but I have never believed that just because they're family, that you need to stick it out. That just because they're family, you need to forgive and let it go. If that is your choice, that's fine. Per usual, I am a no judgment zone. But in my opinion, if you are causing me to have poor mental health and to have unnecessary stress and to feel bad about myself and to just put me in such a low vibrational state, I have no problem separating myself from you, even if you are my father, even if you are my mother. And this is part of the reason why I love the trope of chosen family, because I am someone Who has had to create that chosen family throughout my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have family members that I do have a close relationship with, but overall I don't come from a very healthy family. And that's beyond immediate family. And I wanna quickly bring in some astrology into the mix because y'all know me. I like to just chime in with some astrology. And I'm learning about astrology and eventually medical astrology. So I do wanna Integrate that into the fabric of this show. So, in a recent appointment with ⁓ my astrologer, she mentioned that I have what is called a grand water trine. So it's essentially a triangle that connects three points in my natal birth chart. It connects my Saturn placement in the 12th house with my Mercury placement in the eighth house with my lot of fortune in the fourth house. And something that my astrologer had said to me is. This grand water shrine signifies breaking generational and ancestral cycles, which I thought was very fascinating. I've never had an astrologer talk to me about this placement in my birth or this trine, this grand water trine in my birth chart. And I was like, that's so interesting because my whole life I've felt like an outcast. I've felt like I didn't belong necessarily. In my family, and that I do things very differently. I have created a vastly different life for myself. And it was so interesting to see and to hear that is portrayed in the stars, in my birth chart. And like, I don't know what you believe, all the power to you and whatever it is that you do believe in. I believe that we do inherit patterns and emotions from our ancestors and from our the generations before us, from our mothers. I believe that is woven into our DNA. I do. And really, I think I have tried so hard to break the cycles within my family, to break these generational cycles, because I've craved the complete opposite of what I grew up in my whole life. Like my goal in life is just to have peace. I just want peace. I've always craved peace. I've craved safety and quiet. And honestly, truly just a peaceful home to come home to. It's very simple things, but that's all I've ever wanted. And part of that is also having a healthy body, a body that allows me to feel peace, to feel at ease in my mind, in my gut, in in everything that embodies me as a physical being. And once you have a taste of that different life, you're like, I Gotta ha I gotta have it. Even if it's hard, even it's gonna even if it's going to continue to be an uphill battle and and people are going to look at me interestingly if I live a certain way, if I operate a certain way. Honestly, one of my favorite sayings is live and let live. You never know, you never know a person's life story fully and completely. And and Not always why they operate the way they do, why they live the way they do. So also just a reminder to always give people the benefit of the doubt, give people some grace. And you may not understand why they do what they do. It may seem to you that that it's easy for them to live the way they do, but you never know where they come from. You never know what they've had to deal with in their life. And if you are a cycle breaker, you are the cycle breaker in your family, I hope you know that you're brave, you're courageous. You freaking got this and you should be so proud of yourself. So proud. And as per usual, I would love to hear from you. Love to hear your story, the challenges you have gone through. That's the whole point of this podcast is to to create community so we can can find each other. So we can bond and, you know, community always makes us feel better and gives us a sense of belonging. And being a cycle breaker, sometimes it's hard to To find a place of belonging. But as per usual, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of the Reformed Tired Girls Club podcast. And I will see you next week.