Latest / No Country For Hot Girls / 14. Throning, Tupperware Icks, and the Death of the Clean Girl Aesthetic

Transcript

14. Throning, Tupperware Icks, and the Death of the Clean Girl Aesthetic · No Country For Hot Girls

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: You've reached No Country for Hot Girls podcast.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: We can't come to the phone right now.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because we have better things we could do.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, my darling, darling listeners.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: How are we today?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: We welcome back to the No Country for Hot Girls podcast.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's me, uh, Juliana.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and sadly Han can't be here today.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, which is like really, really killing my soul.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, unfortunately, she's in Wales, so she couldn't be with us.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I am gonna try and hold the four on my own, which may or may not turn into a TED talk about data centres, which is my favourite, my favourite ranting subject at the moment, but um I'll try and restrain.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: But um, first of all, how the hell are we?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's been ages since I recorded.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like we haven't recorded in so long.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I honestly don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: What am I doing?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, nothing's been going on other than I've been complaining endlessly about um August and the fact that it feels like the end of summer and the end of something.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And don't know if anyone reads my Substack.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't, why don't you?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Please, please, please hurry up and subscribe, like and subscribe.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I basically my most recent Substack was about how August is is like the backrooms of months.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't seen that film, it's basically this bizarre internet trend where I guess like if you're really fucking chronically online, it's like the Gen Z and the Gen Alphas, they are they have basically they they they they are obsessed with these things called backrooms.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I to this day don't really understand what backrooms are, but they're essentially liminal spaces, like empty office blocks, or like really creepy empty corridors.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and this whole idea that like backrooms are kind of almost like the upside down in the strange things, or like this kind of weird, dystopian, like other world that's kind of empty and shell-like.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, that's my opinion of August.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's empty and shell-like.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm probably saying that because I have no holidays booked, and I'm just wildly jealous of everyone who's thrashing around in the fucking Mediterranean Sea.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it is a bit depressing.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's just it feels like a countdown to the end of something.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like a countdown to the end of summer, to the end of joy, to the end of good times, to the end of warmth, and it's just uh one step closer to um the floods that apparently are gonna be hitting us in about three weeks' time.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that's cool.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um I need to get an umbrella actually, because yeah.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's on the docket today, guys?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, first of all, actually, I I want to tell you guys about my quite uh stressful evening last night.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So um, well, on Friday I went and had a few drinks at my friend's new house.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, very, very chic, gorgeous new place in Camberwell.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: But we ended up drinking like three bottles of Cremant, which is by the way, my favourite new drink.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I've liked it for a long time, but I feel like it's gonna be my tipple of choice from now on.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know about you guys, but I'm kind of like, I'm over, I'm over all the other drinks.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've had too much of that.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Does anyone else get this?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I every season I have a drink that I just do to death and then I never want it again.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like for the last few summers it's been a Campari spritz.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean like most of the year it's like some kind of orange or like white wine, but I'm done.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm over them, guys.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't like get rid of those natural wines.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you put a vino verde so much as an inch within my face, I will I will be knocking that.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I won't be knocking it away, actually, but like I would rather a crement.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Cremon, which by the way, I discovered they do an amazing one actually in Liddell and also a really good one in Aldi.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if anyone wants a delicious bottle of wine, um then check out the Cremon for both those supermarkets.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, enough of my uh top tips.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um oh yeah, so saying I was really hungover.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So basically I got home, I was supposed to be like a sophisticated new evening, you know, adulting in this new, really adult place, my friend's house, and obviously got absolutely wasted.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Smoked basically a packet of cigarettes and stumbled home probably around like one.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, woke up the next day feeling worse for wear.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was supposed to be a really it was supposed to be a really productive day for me.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Was it productive?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was meant to be doing quite a few collages, didn't do any of them, was meant to be doing some filming about Lord Byron, um, that's a story of another day, but but once again, didn't didn't get around to anything.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm kind of just sat around watching The Valley on um on Bravo.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's really good actually.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I suddenly noticed Miss Hannigan, the cat, is looking a little bit sort of like she looked, honestly, she looked how I felt, which was severely dehydrated and hung over.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: One of her eyelids was kind of flickering shut and the other one was open.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I suddenly realized that she hadn't eaten any of her food all day, which is absolutely unheard of, it's unprecedented.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like she would literally eat a three-month-old bit of chewing gum off the bottom of my shoe, and she would absolutely lap it up.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, wow, something's something's awry, something's amiss.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, obviously, I'm freaking out, so I'm like shit.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, so we had to get on the phone to the vet who was like come into the pet hospital basically.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But unfortunately, the fucking pet hospital was in Enfield, so so I found myself at 11:30 pm um traversing through the uh gorgeous, gorgeous um A-roads of Tottenham on the way to Enfield for Miss Hannigan to get a thermometer shoved up her ass.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um only to be told that she had a temperature and a tummy bug, so I'm glad that we went.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, she she also got a couple of injections in the arse.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: By the time I put her back in the in the carrier, I've I have never ever in my life received such a withering, withering look.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: She was fucking eviling me from the from the confines of that fucking cat carrier.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: She's been assaulted, stabbed in the arse like four times.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but anyway, I can confirm she is she's good, I think she's gonna live, guys.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's been chowing down today, so that's a good sign.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Although I have been trying to kind of shove a bit of worming powder in her mouth, worming liquid, um, and she almost clawed my eyes out, so she's potentially still riddled with worms.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so today has mostly again, I was supposed to be getting loads of done.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was supposed to be recording this in the morning.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is now 5 pm, and I've spent the majority of the day sieving through the kitty litter just to see if Miss Hannigan's stools are still loose or fully formed.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not been the most like chic of weekends, actually.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of chic, I think this bloody TikTok and Instagram trend where people are like, it's kind of chic to eat bread is so annoying.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Please can we stop?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I just can't, I can't handle it.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're so annoyingly self-indulgent indulgent, even when people try and make them funny, they're not funny.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so that's that's that's that over.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the other obsession that I've had, guys, is I've been non-stop listening to the girlies, and I know this is nothing new.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I was not the first to do this.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: We've been listening to the well, the girlies have always been girling, but I feel like the pop girlies are just getting stronger and stronger.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot describe to you how much I fucking love Olivia Rodrigo's new album.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I know it's not new, but I've just been listening to it on repeat.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Charlie's album, 10 out of 10, absolutely fantastic.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I actually feel it's definitely a slower burn from Brat, but I do think that it is technically really fucking good.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm kind of into like, I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I'm kind of um a recovering emo.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I well actually definitely emo more of a kind of I hesitate to say punk.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I I don't think anyone who knew me as a teenager would ever have referred to me as a punk or punkie, uh, maybe as a recovering indie sleaze um wannabe or just like indie kids.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Can we say that?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I can't believe I've said that.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even believe that I've just referred to myself as I actually feel sick.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of chic to um refer to yourself as an indie sleaze kid.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, sorry, I'm I'm I'm being sick in my way in my own mouth.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so the point is this I'm into the fact that Charlie's album is a bit more kind of rocky and a bit more kind of like you know, um, you know, anywho, so I've obviously been listening to the girlies on Shuffle and I stumbled across this artist called Audrey Hobart, I think that's how you say it.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, she's my new obsession.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm absolutely obsessed with her album.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think she's I mean, I could be wrong, but I think she's maybe just had one album, but it's really good.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I literally can't stop listening to it.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: The song Shooting Stars is actually on repeat in my head.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I discovered whilst I was kind of doing a deep dive the other day that she is playing at All Points East alongside Lord, Zara Larson, um loads of the other girlies.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's basically like a full like pop girly lineup, and I I'm desperate to go, but the tickets have sold out.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if anyone could hook me up, if anyone could send me in the direction of um a free ticket, ideally, then I would be really, really appreciative.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Love you, love you already.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, but seriously, guys, please, if anyone knows of an Audrey Hobar or an All Points East ticket to that day, I would be absolutely delighted.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, speaking of the pop girlies, this brings me on to the first topic on the dock for today, um, which is that I think, guys, that the clean girl aesthetic and the wellness era might be drawing to an end, and I have never been more gratified and excited in my entire life.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: This puritanical fucking trend is the bane of my entire existence.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: The amount of fucking times that I have spoken to people, like specifically women, because I feel like these things are targeted at women who we feel so much guilt all the time because we've been told for the last sort of like five fucking six years since COVID, since this whole pernicious trend has been percolating, that we need to be eating clean, like whatever that fucking means.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: We need to be fucking doing weights, we need to be eating enough protein, we need to be putting 700 different fucking things on our face, and if you don't do that, then you're gonna be an ugly hag.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to be fucking optimizing our hormones and not exercising too much because that's actually bad for your hormones, and like of course you've got to fast.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, but actually, no, that's bad for your hormones, so like you need to eat immediately as soon as you wake up and make sure it's riddled with protein, and like, oh god, if you don't go to like your fucking run club on a fucking Saturday night, then like God forbid, like the world is ending, and it's like it's not our fault that we feel like this.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is like the fucking horrible marketing that has been targeted at us for so long.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm either one, I don't know if you can tell, but I've had enough and I'm glad it's fucking over.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like tying in one of the girlies, Charlie.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think Charlie has a lot to answer for with ushering in the end of that era.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think we can kind of mark the beginning of the end from the kind of brat summer last summer, the kind of return and the glamorization again of partying, the romanticization of hangovers.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, right, of course.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: No one needs to be drinking and partying every single day of their lives.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: But also, as we all know, life is all about balance.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you don't have yin, if you've got too much yin, then you don't have enough yang, and then there'll be something going wrong in your body or the or the planet or whatever it is.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, we need balance, and that means that we are entitled to go out and down a bottle of Glen's Volker and smoke a packet of cigarettes every now and again, or some cremant.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I mean I haven't stopped doing that, um, but I've just been riddled with guilt afterwards, I guess.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I was reading a super interesting article from last week's Observer by a journalist called Rosine Kibberd, and the piece is called Is the Era of the Clean Girl Over?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to read you the introduction from it because I thought it was so interesting.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you can tell a lot about someone from their eyebrows.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: The clean girls are striking, shaped, tinted, and swept upward, each hair gelled into place with hyper-real fixity.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: They're meant to look effortless, but they're a product of control, much like everything else about her.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Her freckles are dotted on with a brush.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Her glowing skin is the result of a dedicated routine and a meticulous diet.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Her minimal accessories, subtle gold hoops, and a claw clip for her hair advertise similar restraint.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was so interesting because it has been such a pervasive trend, beauty trend, I guess, and beauty standard, for the last sort of maybe five years since COVID.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: That whole kind of really, really slicked back bun that people were rocking, this whole 57-step skincare routine, younger and younger women getting Botox, micro-needling, salmon sperm, we're expected to kind of look dewy and effortless and quote unquote clean, um, and sort of flawless, but that takes an extraordinary amount of effort um and money.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: So this whole kind of idea of effortlessness is essentially one big, again, a huge marketing ploy and a huge lie.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's really interesting because apparently Hale Hay Hala, Hailey B, Hayley Bieber is like the poster child of the clean girl aesthetic.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, you can totally see that.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like the whole kind of road beauty trend, the kind of idea that you're wearing like no makeup makeup or micro makeup.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not just this dewy, perfect skin, the eyebrows, the kind of no makeup makeup look, the kind of blush on the cheeks, the slick back hair.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's also the whole lifestyle that comes with it.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the Pilates, like the daily Pilates, it's the matcha, it's these rituals that we are told that we need to kind of perform as women in order to kind of fit this clean girl uh image, which again it's a Eurocentric aesthetic of beauty, which also requires a huge amount of time and money in order to maintain, which for most people is unfeasible and unrealistic, and so therefore, what does that mean?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: What are the connotations of that?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's it's so troubling because are the connotations that if you can't afford to look this way or look like Hayley Bieber or do the 19-step skimming care routine, does that mean that you're not quote unquote clean?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's really, really pernicious, and I'm either one am fucking happy that it's dying a death.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: But what was really interesting in the article is that Roshin basically talks about how this kind of idea of cleanliness or smelling clean comes essentially from miasma theory, which is a medieval idea, a medieval kind of idea that doctors and medics had that things that smell nice um don't carry disease, and things that smell bad carry disease.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: So um, in order to ward off things like plague, people would basically cover themselves in lavender oil or posies or roses or whatever.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I think Catherine de Medici, Catherine de Medici, am I saying that right?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Catherine Medici.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Was it de Medici?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Catherine de Medici Anyway, Catherine de Medici.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Am I saying that wrong?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Catherine de Medici.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know that queen.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, that really famous queen in France.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: The first ever perfume was created for her wedding day.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it was, you know, orange blossom and various other things.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the whole idea of it was that she was supposed to smell clean and health, and as a result, the connotations of that were healthy to her husband to kind of suggest that she was healthy, she was, you know, a viable bride, essentially, someone who was going to be able to have uh lots of lots of children and you know, healthy, healthy mother, etc.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: But what's interesting is Roshin basically talks about how through periods of history when there have been moments of kind of disease or there have been outbreaks of pandemics, she notes that basically in the wake of the AIDS crisis, um, public were turning towards more kind of androgynous, quote unquote clean sense, so such as Kavan Klein's CK1, Izimiaki Lode Is A.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: So things that are pared down simple, that feel quote unquote clean, even though what does that mean?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like clean simplicity.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess that's what it comes down to.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's like in these periods where we have as human beings, we have no control, society seeks to reclaim control through kind of going back to these very ancient and very primitive ideas.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: So it's Roshin basically discusses how there's absolutely no coincidence that this kind of whole trend for you know dewy skin and slick back hair and skincare, etc., it's all tied up with this idea of like coming out of this period of disease and illness.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the standards and the expectations and the financial costs to this trend are so so exponential and also so damaging because it tells you that you know, it's it's on the one hand saying, you know, look natural, like don't wear loads of makeup, but then it's saying, yeah, but don't also have wrinkles and you can't have like pigmentation and oh god forbid that you have some spots, like that needs to be treated.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to be spending hundreds of pounds on microneedling, you need to be getting Botox, you need to be getting fillers, you need to be getting salmon sperm, redure, and fucking lasers, so it never ends.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, wow, this did turn into a tent talking.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: How do I always do this?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how I always do this, but I just thought it was interesting.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think the wellness era is ending, and you can see it everywhere.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sorry, people are literally predicting the return of skinny jeans.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Skinny jeans are apparently back, like guys, indie sleeves is having its fucking comeback.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we had the 90s, the 90s has been back, and now we're having the indie sleeves moment, and so like smudged coal is back, looking like you slept in it, you know, the leather jackets, the kind of scruffy knee-high socks, they're back.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm here for it because to be honest, I never really graduated from that, so basically all my clothes are now back in trend.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was a product of of the 2000s, so like obviously Effie from Skins was just my style icon, and she will always be my style icon.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: There was no one that I wanted to look like more than Effie from Skins.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god, anyway, that was a good time.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, so now we've got the girlies, we've got the we've got the Charlies going towards going towards the rock music kind of vibe, we've got the Audrey Hoberts, we've got the Olivia Rodriguez all kind of embracing more of a kind of punky sound.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, Olivia Rodrigo has been toting Robert Smith from the cure around Europe and the world for the last like six months.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's has support sort of baby boomer rocker.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, guys, we're here for it.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're moving on, we're going back towards who knows, maybe we're gonna be listening to the wombats, maybe not the wombats, block party.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, to be honest, I never stopped listening to these people.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, on next Tuesday, I am terrified because Jamie T announced last week that he is playing at Scala next Thursday and he's releasing tickets on Tuesday.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, Jamie T is playing at Scala, and I I like I cannot not go basically.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's just no if there's no ifs or buts.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have to get a ticket.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um where was I going with that?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, Jamie T's back, the Maccabee isn't back.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, guys, it's coming back.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've been saying this for fucking months.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: I literally wrote a subsek about this in like September, being like, the indie boy is back.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Not only are they back, but the indie girl is back too.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I'm gonna fucking pitch that article because they are back.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, on a slightly different subject, so I've just got another recommendation for you guys, another article that I thought was really good by a journalist called Amber Rawlings who wrote a cover story for Cosmo a couple of weeks ago.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: The article was about her experience of only shagging celebrities for six months.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I saw this, I was like, oh my fucking god, I need to read this right now.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's such an interesting piece.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I would really recommend it.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Really honest and really unfiltered and quite not shocking, but um, I guess like really raw and honest in a way that I think often journalism is kind of watered down to be sort of a bit more like PC or palatable or whatever.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought it was really interesting because she talks really openly and honestly about how she had a breakup with her boyfriend, and she kind of went through this phase where she wasn't really ready for commitment, but she just really wanted the validation of like being wanted, so she basically started trying to get with celebrities essentially.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and she she's coined this her method of how she did it.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was like, as I was reading it, I was like, Oh my fucking god, I need to know how she did this because maybe I'm gonna do this.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm joking, I'm joking.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, but in all seriousness, it sounds it sounded like she had a fucking huge amount of success.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: She has she said that she ended up, I think, like going on like dating like seven different famous men.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't give their names, sadly.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: I really would have loved the T on that, but um, she does give some salacious details.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: So one of them she said was an actor who used to be in Harry Potter.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: So immediately I thought Neville Longbottom, but maybe not.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: She's basically said that she developed this technique called Instagram method, which I'm I'm obsessed with, where basically what you do is you follow hot celebrity, whoever they may it might be, then you kind of have to like breadcrumb them with a few likes on a couple of like hot picks and maybe some like shirtless picks, and then she she kind of says you have to sort of reach out, so you have to basically make it obvious that you fancy them.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: Although you kind of have to curate your own Instagram so that it's basically the the best it could be.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like my Instagram is basically just work, so I feel like I wouldn't really get a huge amount of purchase um off the back of my grid.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you have to curate it so that you look hot on it, because obviously that's gonna help.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we can all get the hot pics, but we just need to make sure that they're there.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyway, so she messages these guys and she basically says like a flirty comment like, Are we flirting on Instagram or something like that?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then she was saying that literally nine times out of ten, they fucking take the bait and they're up for a drink.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: So first of all, if you want to get with a celebrity, then there you go, guys, that's how you do it.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it is interesting because she talks about how initially there's like a thrill to it and it makes you feel so desirable and I guess like high value because obviously these men could get pretty much anyone, and so if them choosing you is like such a drug in itself because you feel high almost on the validation.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: But then she was saying that what became apparent over kind of time was that actually they're using you as much as you're using them, and very often you are just kind of a commodity to them, you know, a girl, another girl for them to shag or give them a bit of attention whilst they're kind of doing their own thing, which I thought was really interesting, and she kind of brings it back at the end of the piece to modern dating, I guess, and how we're so disenfranchised from kind of just being present and being open and vulnerable, and I guess dating from a place of openness without always looking over your shoulder for the next shiny, exciting object.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that we've kind of reduced ourselves to commodities in a way where we're always thinking like, is there a anything better that I could trade this person in for?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a way of stopping ourselves from actually achieving true intimacy and actually being vulnerable, which I thought was really interesting, and I've definitely um done that.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's very much my MO like keep people at arm's length and like make ridiculous excuses in my head as to why it's not gonna work anymore.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, speaking of that, speaking of icks, I was thinking about this this week, and I do actually think that this is such an ick, and it's just it, it's unfortunately it affects all of us.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Having lunch in Tupperware is it's an ick.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was thinking about this quite a lot because I was bringing my Tupperware into work today, and I was like, why am I so ashamed to eat this in public?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like eating as quickly as I could before like anyone came round the corner just in case anyone could see me, and I was like, oh my god, it's an ick.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's because there's like it seems like you're trying too hard because you've like made the food and it's like there's quite a lot of effort that has gone into it, it's quite a lot of effort that you're putting it in the Tupperware.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: But then there's also something a bit gross about the food itself because it's like it's old, it's congealed, it's like probably cold and a bit damp and a bit disgusting.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like the knowing that other people know it's a bit gross, but you're eating it and it's in a Tupperware and you've like put the effort in makes it an ick.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: But obviously, I'm I'm doing it, so I'm the ick.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you guys that because I really do think that that that's quite a big one for me, actually.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Tupperware.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um another ick is also bringing lunch that needs to be heated in the microwave and stinking out even just a mild stink, but any kind of pungent smell coming from a microwave from your lunch.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if it's fucking made by Raymond Blanc himself, like it's an ick.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um anyway, what was I saying?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, so I just thought it was super interesting this piece.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: She really talks about how um women, especially a lot of her friends, and a lot of the kind of stuff that she was doing when she was kind of going through this phase of like only shagging celebrities, a lot of it was kind of doing it for the plot and like the story.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that was almost the prize at the end of these kind of trysts, rather than necessarily like a commitment or relationship.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually do think there is something to be said for that, and I actually really want to pitch this actually as an article because I think about it all the time.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: We've like reached a stage in modern dating where the expectation is so low now, like people are so unwilling to give other people a chance or to be fully present or to like commit any moment of energy to another person that we've become almost, I guess, like word isn't frivolous, but it's almost kind of um we don't even give a shit anymore.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, people are literally dating for the plot now rather than for a relationship.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's for the stories to tell your friends and to lol about.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I also do think it's like a wider trend amongst women as well, who um women are have having to be bolder and more like forward than ever because men are so terrified to approach women in public, nothing's happening on the fucking dating apps because everyone's like looking for the next best thing and giving absolutely zero airtime to anyone.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: So women are stepping into the traditional shoes of men, which I think is so interesting, and having to put themselves in the position of approaching men.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how did we get here?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I mean.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: We are fucked as a society, like people don't.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was the same to this guy, I can't remember who who what he what his name was, but he was saying, no animal kingdom, like if there was an animal species in the world and they stopped procreating, so they stopped having children because they felt that that was like bad for the world, or like they felt like having children wasn't good, you'd be like, that species of animal is seriously sick, like there's something wrong with them, and they need to be healed.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's literally what's happening to us, like as a society.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, people people aren't having kids or don't want kids because they literally don't want to bring them into this fucking shit show of a world that we're living in.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, sorry, I'm back on the TED Dog.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I just thought this was interesting.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: We have basically swap roles, men are.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: But women are doing everything as usual, and apparently, this trying to get with celebrities, it's called throning.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, there's a whole throning community out there.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: I have tried to, I mean, I don't know if I was attempting to throne, but like I have done that.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have actually slipped into a couple of famous men's DMs.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: A couple of them I've spoken to actually.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: There was this one guy who I met who's he's an he's an Irish actor.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: I won't, I won't name names.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I was at this like um at this fashion party.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was at this fashion party couple, uh it was like last Christmas, and anyway, one of my ex-boyfriends was there with his girlfriend, and I hadn't seen this horrible ex for a really long time.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I panicked and was like, I just need to make myself look as like cool and hot in this moment as as I possibly can, which is gonna be quite hard, um, because I'm usually sort of flapping around spilling my drink all over myself.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, and then I saw this actor who stood next to me, and I was like, Okay, I I just I'm just gonna have to across this man.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I turned around and I was like, I know this is really fucking weird, but can you just talk to me for a second?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because like my ex-boyfriend is there, I've just seen him, he's with his fucking new girlfriend, and like I am having a freak out.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, he was like, Oh my god, of course, like come stand with me, like we'll talk, we'll talk, we'll talk.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so then we kind of were having this like quite funny chat off the back of this.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I hadn't even done this to traps him, can I just say this was genuinely like pure panic?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then my ex-boyfriend walked, like literally brushed past me and this actor who in that moment was like being so tactile, like laughing hysterically.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he was doing it obviously for the sake of my ex-boyfriend, but in that moment I was like, oh my god, I think we're actually flirting.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: And my friend who I was with was like, What the hell was that?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: You guys were like fully chirpsing.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, his friend came over and started talking to him, so I walked away.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but afterwards, I just like kept thinking about this moment and I was like, Well, I'm gonna just add him and maybe I'll DM him, just be like, Hey, do you remember that like weird moment?
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I don't know why I'm telling the story because it doesn't actually end successfully.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I DM'd this guy and he just never responded.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: He to be fair, he hasn't seen it, but he obviously just like was I I'm assuming he gets a lot of DMs.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna I'm gonna just go with the fact that he was overwhelmed with messages in his private inbox and just hasn't got to mine yet.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, so that didn't work, but that is my one attempt of throning, which sounds kind of weird.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like crowning, which is like isn't that when like a baby comes out with your vagina, the head or something?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, we don't need to talk about that.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: So okay, that's all for today, folks.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's more than enough.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my final recommendation is a TV show on BBC iPlayer called Two Weeks in August.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: It is so fucking good.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was obsessed with it, obsessed.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: I binged it in like three days.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of white lotus vibes, but everyone's an English actor, so it's like kind of more like English humour.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of dark, but it's also really unexpected.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like nothing about it is like cliche, it's so random and weird, but like creepy, funny, fucked up.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's really fucking good.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: I really recommend that.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Two weeks in August.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Check it out.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so hopefully Han's gonna be back next week and there'll be no more waffling rants about cat diarrhoea and um all the other stuff.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, um, all right, love you guys so much.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be strangers, bye.