Latest / Age Like a Badass Mother / Ep. 119: Sex Is a Life Force: Why We Need Sexual Vitality as We Age with Dr. Christina Tracy Stein

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Ep. 119: Sex Is a Life Force: Why We Need Sexual Vitality as We Age with Dr. Christina Tracy Stein · Age Like a Badass Mother

• 0:00
  Hi friend, this week we talk about the fun, but sometimes loaded subject of sex.
• 0:06
  Warning, this is a very frank adults conversation.
• 0:10
  So if you get embarrassed easily, you might want to skip this episode.
• 0:14
  We talk about the imbalance of desire in couples, how to navigate long-term monogamy so it doesn't feel like long-term monotony, how to talk about difficult subjects with your partner so that no one feels defensive, and how to handle it.
• 0:28
  When you don't feel confident in your body, and so much more. But first, this episode is brought to you by Grand Teton Ancient Grains.
• 0:38
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• 1:21
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• 1:26
  And now Here is my conversation with Dr.
• 1:30
  Christina Tracy Stein.
• 1:43
  Dr. Christina Tracy Stein is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a PhD in human sexuality. With 20 years of experience working with individuals and couples, Dr. Stein takes a shame-free approach to the sexual health questions people often feel uncomfortable asking.
• 2:00
  She is also the author of The Accomplished Woman and co-author of three best-selling books with her father, Brian Tracy, including the international bestseller, Kiss That Frog.
• 2:12
  which has sold more than 300,000 copies worldwide.
• 2:16
  Let's talk about sex and other things with Dr.
• 2:19
  Christina Tracy Stein. Welcome.
• 2:23
  Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here.
• 2:25
  I'm happy to I'm happy to talk to you.
• 2:27
  so I know we're gonna talk a lot about things I'm we're gonna focus on kind of heavily on sex because I think it's Yeah.
• 2:37
  pretty important. very important.
• 2:39
  It's very important. Yes.
• 2:41
  And what what is the number one thing that couples come to you to talk about?
• 2:48
  Like, is there a biggest problem or issue?
• 2:50
  I I I mean I think I think the biggest issue is a what I guess what we call a desire discrepancy.
• 2:57
  So one person wants more sex than the other one does.
• 3:02
  Yeah.
• 3:02
  and a lot of times, you know, it it's it's it's very interesting because One thing that I found that's important that we don't understand is just the different kinds of sexual desire.
• 3:14
  And so this tends to be an issue for couples because there's there's really two different ways we respond with sexual desire.
• 3:22
  And one is very, you know, spontaneous desire where suddenly you're like, I feel like having sex or I I'm ready to go.
• 3:28
  It's like that that switch gets flipped.
• 3:30
  And ~ and that's typically what a lot of men experience in, you know, especially in heterosexual relationships, right? Like this, Yes.
• 3:39
  yeah.
• 3:39
  Yeah, s I'm walking into the bedroom, I'm ready to go. But Yes.
• 3:44
  women are and I'm obviously making a general statement.
• 3:48
  In general, I have found that women are much more responsive in their sexual And that we ~ like our minds have to give our bodies permission to say yes.
• 4:01
  And so, you know, we have to warm up to the idea.
• 4:05
  We have to not be doing 18 other things when the idea comes up because otherwise we're, you know, now is not a good time, my body, forget it. And so it just takes a lot more for women to get to a place.
• 4:16
  Of like letting the jet the desire build and that arousal in the body.
• 4:20
  ~ and this tends to be an odd conflict with couples, right? Because like one person who's spontaneous is like, hey, let's go. The other one is like, no, right now is a terrible time.
• 4:30
  And then the one who initiates feels rejected and gets upset and withdraws.
• 4:34
  Yep. Mm-hmm.
• 4:35
  And then the one who isn't there feels bad, and it just becomes this cycle.
• 4:39
  So I'd say I work with a lot of couples on just finding ways to get into a regular habit of sex and creating space for desire and helping that discrepancy of appetite not prevent them from connecting in that way.
• 4:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:58
  I mean, yeah, I've been married 36 years.
• 5:00
  I can tell you that is we I mean, God bless my husband, this poor man.
• 5:04
  Yeah. Hey.
• 5:05
  I I'm sorry, Andy. I know you don't want me to talk about our sex life on the podcast, but but you knew this was coming.
• 5:12
  And he said I I mean, you know, it that is a typical thing at our house.
• 5:18
  ~ that I'll be in the bathroom and maybe I need to put on more clothes when I'm blow drying my hair.
• 5:25
  But you know, and I'm bending over and I'm drying my hair and my husband's like, perfect opportunity. And I'm like, Yeah.
• 5:31
  no. I'm generally I'm blow drying my hair because I'm trying to leave the house.
• 5:37
  You know, I have somewhere to be, Yes.
• 5:39
  something to do. And he's like, This is the best time for sex.
• 5:44
  ~ so yeah, I can tell you that definitely happens at our house.
• 5:47
  And I think that, you know, okay, so tell me what The luckily I think the good the good news for us is we have been able to stay, you know, intimately connected and, you know, we figured we've mostly f I say we figured it out.
• 6:04
  He would probably say we could be having more sex, but I mean, I promise you. I promise Always, right?
• 6:11
  you. But ~ you know, so tell me like what's the what's some solutions for this or what's one way, you know, some ways to work Well on that.
• 6:21
  so I think understanding it is important, right? Like just understanding that if you're blow drying your hair and he's hey, now's a great time, realizing that no, if you're blow drying your hair because you have to be somewhere at 10 AM, then your mind is like, you're in stress mode.
• 6:35
  You're not in receive and pleasure desire mode.
• 6:38
  And so I think it's really important for people to understand the different kinds of desire so they don't take it personally.
• 6:45
  You know, we take our per our partners' Right.
• 6:46
  bodies personally. so Mm-hmm.
• 6:49
  that to me is one important aspect.
• 6:52
  And what I always recommend is just to set, to have like sex dates, to set aside time that you're like, okay, Thursday and Saturday are our sex dates.
• 7:01
  And we both and you do it together, right? So like if you come together and say, hey, let's look at our schedule, when are we both gonna be home?
• 7:08
  When are we not like overwhelmed, great, this is a good time, we'll both show up. Then neither one of you initiates, so nobody's getting rejected, which to me is huge because I think couples get into these patterns where they've initiated and been rejected over and over to the point where finally they stop initiating.
• 7:29
  And then it's like, well why aren't we having sex anymore?
• 7:32
  Why aren't why don't you want me anymore?
• 7:33
  You don't desire me. And it's like, well after 80 times of being rejected, no, I'm not gonna even try.
• 7:39
  So I think setting a time that you both pick means nobody's initiating and you're both agreeing. So suddenly it's like, cool, we both picked Wednesday, so we're both gonna show up on Wednesday.
• 7:51
  And as much as people are like, God, that's so not spontaneous, the truth is that you get to anticipate that.
• 7:59
  And so, in the anticipation of the space, suddenly you're like, Okay, Wednesday is the day I'm gonna like, you know, work out, get some good sleep.
• 8:07
  Shave my legs.
• 8:08
  Yeah, I'm not gonna.
• 8:09
  gonna have a bunch of grilled onions on a cheeseburger for lunch, you know, whatever it is you need to do to show up, you do. And then I think it it helps to get into the habit.
• 8:19
  Yeah. I mean that's that's kind of where we landed.
• 8:23
  But I think that he's and then, you know, I I try to also maybe be a little more spontaneous, but for sure I'm like, if if no spontaneity has happened, then you have this day to look forward to, you know? But he's like, That's not that's not spontaneous.
• 8:40
  I mean, I think that's the complaint.
• 8:41
  That's not spontaneous. And I'm like, Yeah.
• 8:43
  I'm s you know.
• 8:45
  I'm sorry, but at least you're having sex.
• 8:46
  Yes, yes.
• 8:48
  And, you know, I mean, I know that that's probably not what he wants to hear, but you know, and I think that it as long as I don't know, I just think it's I think that it's imp I do think it's really important to make time and to keep that date and to, you know, make sure that it's a priority.
• 9:12
  Yes, I could maybe be trying, you know, to have other days or whatever, but I don't know. I mean I'm glad to hear that it's not just me.
• 9:20
  That do I think that makes me feel a little bit better.
• 9:23
  So I mean yeah. And and what's really great about scheduling it is that I and I know we're we're not trying to talk about you Andy, but you're you're a part of this little conversation.
• 9:33
  Sorry, Andy.
• 9:34
  So, but Andy can represent partners.
• 9:38
  You know, so like the fact that if you schedule it, then it's happening, right? There's no is it gonna happen, is it not gonna happen, waiting and then frustration and disappointment, right? You're like, okay, at Mm-hmm.
• 9:49
  least you know it's gonna happen once or twice a week, and then you can go on with your week.
• 9:54
  And if there is a spontaneous time, great, but you have a sure thing.
• 9:58
  And so it just t it like takes the stress out of that dynamic, and then I think couples end up having more fun with the predictability of it.
• 10:08
  It and you can be like the other thing is yes, sex with the same person in a long-term relationship becomes monotonous and right? It becomes the same. So we have to bring in novelty to make it exciting and make it different.
• 10:24
  But Yeah.
• 10:25
  having that set time doesn't mean you can't bring in novelty, it just gives you Yeah.
• 10:29
  an opportunity. So Yeah, I mean, that it reminds me of ~ God, I'm sorry for invoking his name, Woody Allen, but ~ the w the Woody Allen and Diane Keaton movie, it's fli I can't even remember which one it was a million years ago, where they go to the sex therapist.
• 10:45
  ~ yeah.
• 10:46
  I'm sure you know this one, and he's like, We never have sex. We have sex like twice a week.
• 10:52
  And she's like, my god, we have sex all the time.
• 10:53
  We're we're always y Yes. Totally.
• 10:54
  It's like twice a week. And it reminds me of that.
• 10:57
  ~ but yeah, but Getting back to the like monotony, like what what are some advice for like spicing things up?
• 11:08
  Well, it's it's su it's unique to each couple, right? Because like every couple has their own relationship agreement of what is allowed between you.
• 11:18
  And, you know, 'cause in some relationships, like if you look at porn, that's considered like outside of their agreement and consider cheating.
• 11:27
  But in some relationships like that's something people bring in for novelty to spice it up. So depending on what you are comfortable with with your partner, it's anything that like pushes you to the edge a little bit, right? It's just something different.
• 11:40
  So we get into a comfort zone of what we know and we stay there because it's familiar and it works and we're used to it.
• 11:48
  And anytime you try to like get out of your comfort zone, even in the bedroom, there's like this anxiety or sort of anticipation of like, God, what's that gonna be like?
• 11:58
  But in a way, that's that that's the new energy.
• 12:01
  That's the exciting Right.
• 12:03
  I don't know, this is mystery,'cause we don't know if we'll like this or not.
• 12:07
  So sometimes I I like on a really easy level just I suggest a blindfold.
• 12:13
  Like even a sleep mask as a real Hmm.
• 12:15
  basic way to to change the dynamic, you know, like it's if you can't see something, then all of your other senses are heightened.
• 12:23
  So you have to like Yeah.
• 12:24
  pay attention to the touch and pay attention to the sounds and ~ you know, especially for women who are stuck in their heads, which a lot of us tend to be stuck in our heads, judging, seeing the clock, all of that stuff.
• 12:35
  you can't you can't evaluate.
• 12:39
  You can't be wondering about judgment.
• 12:41
  You can't see your partner's face.
• 12:42
  You can't judge your own body.
• 12:44
  Like you're just in it. So it's a cool experience.
• 12:47
  It's a way to mix it up.
• 12:48
  Yeah. That sounds like a good entry level situation that you know, people can try.
• 12:55
  Yeah.
• 12:56
  yeah, you I watch some of your videos on your Instagram with your Uh-huh.
• 13:03
  it's not your regular Instagram.
• 13:05
  What's your other one? With your partner, the doctor's one, what's that called?
• 13:08
  ~ so yeah, so I have Deer Sex Doctors with my colleague Dr.
• 13:13
  Suzanne Pelka. And ~ and then my Instagram is Dr.
• 13:18
  Christina Tracy Stein. And that's a little bit less the the Deer Sex Doctors is much more sexual and instructive, Yeah.
• 13:26
  yes. And that's something, you know, like we're she and I are both sex therapists and we just kind of hear a lot of things and s there's just so much~ So much misunderstanding and there's not enough information and it's not pathological, right?
• 13:41
  Like we need to understand how to give and receive pleasure and how our bodies work.
• 13:46
  And so it's just hard to get information that isn't like pornography or too clinical. So we were trying to have fun with it.
• 13:53
  Exactly. Yeah, and Yeah.
• 13:56
  it is fun. That comes across. I mean, one of the questions ~ was is it okay to bring your vibrator into the bedroom?
• 14:04
  And I've I've talked about this before, and like I said, God bless my poor husband, but ~ I have talked about how as I've gotten older it takes me longer to have an orgasm and Totally.
• 14:17
  ~ you know, one person said, Well, your head's not in it. And I was like, No, that's not true. Like, I'm enjoying myself.
• 14:23
  It's just physically taking me longer.
• 14:26
  So we definitely bring the vibrator in to speed things up.
• 14:31
  Or not speed Yeah.
• 14:33
  things up. I mean, that's not doesn't sound right, but you know, just to help hey, Enhance the experience. You're enhancing it.
• 14:38
  thank you.
• 14:38
  There you go.
• 14:41
  but you what was your what was your answer to that?
• 14:45
  When is it okay to bring the vibrator in?
• 14:46
  I think I it's it's of it's absolutely okay to bring the vibrat.
• 14:50
  I think anything that helps you enjoy the experience is wonderful.
• 14:55
  I think the challenge that sometimes couples have is when ~ the vibrator comes in and it's like I'm in charge of my orgasm and I'm gonna use a vibrator.
• 15:05
  So we can have sex or we can play around, but when it's time for me to have an orgasm, it's it's me taking over. And I think that sometimes the partner feels like they're not a part of the experience. So I guess the suggestion that I would make with if the vibrator is an essential piece, is to sort of teach your partner how to use it on you so that it's like.
• 15:29
  incorporated into the experience between the two of you.
• 15:32
  It's not it doesn't separate the two of you at the end or during orgasm.
• 15:36
  It just is something that is like a an accessory.
• 15:40
  Yeah, something that you can share. I agree. ~ some something to make it more fun and that Yeah, totally.
• 15:46
  you can both enjoy. ~ what so what is why does it take longer to have an orgasm when you get older?
• 15:54
  Is that like w do you know the reason why?
• 15:57
  'Cause I've heard this from other friends too.
• 16:00
  You know, I I I don't think that there's one reason.
• 16:04
  I think there's probably a lot of different reasons.
• 16:06
  ~ you know, like our sensitivity changes, just our nervous system is different,~ our health, you know, like our hydration and circulation and all these pieces,~ Hmm.
• 16:18
  I think have an impact on how you experience pleasure.
• 16:21
  ~ stress, you know, like stress is a huge thing that we underestimate in terms of our ability to experience pleasure and arousal in our bodies, because if you think about just even day-to-day stress is like ~ it's like a constriction for your nervous system, right?
• 16:38
  You hear sounds, you have to deal with things, you're like tensing in your body and Pleasure is so much about flow of energy and so much about being relaxed.
• 16:49
  And so I think that in order to even get to a place of being receptive and having that energy flow, you have to be more relaxed.
• 16:59
  You need the time to kind of get into your body and be there and experience the sensation and then the pleasure builds.
• 17:07
  But how many of us have time or can like actually shut everything off to just sit?
• 17:14
  And be in our bodies and relax with our partner and experience the flow and then go into the stimulation and all of that.
• 17:21
  ~ Mm.
• 17:22
  so I just think that there's a lot of a lot more stress, a lot more self-consciousness.
• 17:27
  I think that I'm so happy that there's a lot of research being done and more conversation around perimenopause and menopause and hormones and vaginal estrogen and all of these things because.
• 17:41
  that really impacts the way you feel, the way you experience things.
• 17:45
  Testosterone, all of the hormones are essential for our sexual vitality.
• 17:49
  And so I'm happy that we're finally at a place where there's more Mm-hmm.
• 17:53
  information available.
• 17:55
  Yeah, I agree. I don't know. I still think it's like maybe I need some testosterone or something because I've I'm pretty relaxed and I have plenty of ti I mean, I feel like I have a lot of time.
• 18:06
  So I don't think it's that I feel like I'm hydrated.
• 18:07
  Ye Yeah, it it it could totally yeah, I don't know.
• 18:10
  it could it it could a hundred percent be hormones, you know, like my gosh.
• 18:14
  but again it our bodies change, right? Like throughout our lifetimes Yeah.
• 18:19
  we have kids, we age, we gain weight, we lose weight, our bodies change and like your sensitivity changes.
• 18:24
  So it might have been really easy to have orgasms before and now it's it takes more work.
• 18:31
  Yeah.
• 18:31
  It takes longer to like build up that arousal.
• 18:35
  So it's Yeah.
• 18:36
  I I'd say Try not to judge it. I mean, I'm not I don't think you are, but you know, like it just it's like,~ I'm gonna get to know my body now, and my body is different than it was before.
• 18:47
  And so what is it like now? But if we're Yeah.
• 18:50
  comparing ourselves to when we were, you know, easily aroused and having quick orgasms, then it feels like we're less than.
• 18:58
  And really it's like, no, we're just it this is a different evolution of who we are and our bodies. And so we just have to get to know ourselves.
• 19:06
  Yeah.
• 19:07
  I yeah, for sure. ~ what are some of the things because this is a podcast about aging, so maybe you know, I know things like ~ low libido comes up, maybe some s er erectile dysfunction, like these are things that come up as people are aging and how do you how do you talk to your partner about this without I mean,'cause there is so much embarrassment and Maybe shame around these things.
• 19:35
  How can you talk about how to talk about these things?
• 19:39
  Yeah, absolutely. ~ well, what I like to think and say is that like we shouldn't take our partners' bodies personally.
• 19:49
  So when our when our partner's body does something unexpected, right? Or like different than it usually does, unless we have a conversation about it, we're going to personalize it.
• 20:01
  So like if you decide you're not interested in sex for a whole week, you know.
• 20:07
  Andy's gonna feel rejected and sad and be like, What's going on? She no longer wants me, she doesn't find me attractive.
• 20:13
  And so that creates distance in the relationship.
• 20:17
  If you're with your partner and he can't get an erection or he loses his erection, it ha it has nothing to do with you most of the time.
• 20:25
  It has something to do with they're in their head, they're stressed out, maybe they're, you know, on a new medication, maybe it just takes more stimulation or whatever's going on.
• 20:35
  And again, in the opposite direction, we take it personally and we feel like it's about us, we're no longer desired, we can't get, you know, maybe they're cheating on us.
• 20:44
  You know, like it's this thing.
• 20:46
  And so I just think that if we instead of taking those moments personally.
• 20:52
  we say something like, Hey, what's going on with your body today?
• 20:55
  Like, seems like like let's seems like maybe you need more time or your body's not responding how it usually does.
• 21:02
  What do you think is going on?
• 21:04
  And so that it's not about you right it's about their body and then as a couple you can talk about it.
• 21:11
  What do you need? Maybe you need more time.
• 21:13
  Maybe you need more stimulation.
• 21:14
  Maybe you're stressed out and this isn't a good time.
• 21:17
  But it doesn't have to do with you.
• 21:19
  And then it it normalizes those physical responses and makes it less shameful.
• 21:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:25
  Yeah. I have a friend whose husband was experiencing, you know, some sexual difficulties like a a long time ago.
• 21:34
  They were probably in their 30s, maybe 40. And they, I mean, he wouldn't talk about it.
• 21:41
  He absolutely to the point where they ended up getting divorced.
• 21:45
  And Yeah.
• 21:46
  it was like so and he would make her, she she said, You don't know the amount of times I cried myself to sleep.
• 21:53
  And because she just t took all that and internalized it when really it didn't have anything to do with her, I don't think. ~ Yeah.
• 22:02
  yeah, I mean I wished that they could have talked more openly about it.
• 22:08
  ~ it's really it's really hard.
• 22:12
  Do you find that a lot of men have trouble talking about this?
• 22:15
  About yeah, definitely. Well it's it's ~ you know, I mean like men are really It's very symbolic for them, right?
• 22:23
  Like it's their Yeah.
• 22:24
  it's their vitality, it's their masculinity.
• 22:26
  Like if they can get an erection or they can't get an erection, like it they take it, they feel very embarrassed and it's really hard for them because it's kind of, you know, like just a way that they move through life or it's part of their identity in such a strong way that if it's not working, what does that mean about them?
• 22:44
  And it just it it it makes them feel Really embarrassed and really self-conscious, and then they lose the competence to initiate, and then their performance anxiety sets in and they anticipate it happening.
• 22:56
  And the truth is, it happens to most men at different times for different reasons.
• 23:01
  And so I think if we normalized it as like part of the response process for men, then it wouldn't Mm-hmm.
• 23:08
  be such an issue. But w we make a big deal out of it.
• 23:12
  We've got medications and we're like, my god, this erectile thing and so we blow it up and make it a big deal and then there's more of a you know an issue in being self-conscious about it.
• 23:23
  Mm-hmm. I mean, this is totally not off topic.
• 23:27
  Well, it's on topic, but ~ the we talk a lot about a whole food plant based diet on this podcast because I Yeah.
• 23:36
  r I reversed my heart disease by following that.
• 23:39
  And that's really one of the things that keeps men just FYI, let me throw this out there again.
• 23:46
  If you need motivation to eat your fruits and vegetables, guys.
• 23:51
  I mean, honestly, a whole food plant based diet really improves circulation and that's all it's all blood flow.
• 23:58
  That's what it is. Like they call heart disease the canary in the coal mine if your heart's not pumping blood, your penis is not getting blood and Yeah.
• 24:09
  that artery is not going to, you know, have blood, blood flow to it. So just another ~ reminder about whole food plant based. So I know, you know.
• 24:18
  Yeah, well and and it's a good point, right? Like your cardiovascular health is important.
• 24:22
  Right.
• 24:23
  Everything is flow and circulation.
• 24:25
  So it's it's something we have to take seriously.
• 24:28
  And it definitely is Mm-hmm.
• 24:29
  connected a hundred percent.
• 24:32
  What about I mean, this is maybe more of a I don't know if it's probably for men and women, but you know, just body image or your body really changing at this point or you know, things look different and that's just another thing to contend with too.
• 24:50
  Like what do you what do you have any advice on that?
• 24:53
  Yeah, I mean look, it's it hair loss, hair changes, weight gain, where yeah, there's it it's not being able to control your physical appearance the same way, you know, like your body doesn't respond to exercise or diet the same way it once did.
• 25:09
  I think it it's an identity shift, you know, like aging is a process, and I think we have an idea of how we look and how we should look, and then we kind of have to transition into this next phase and be like, okay, I have to give myself permission to look differently.
• 25:26
  And like this is a natural part of the aging process.
• 25:30
  And, you know, and I think like I, you know, I know it's easier for me in my relationship to be really honest about it, you know, like when I notice different.
• 25:39
  parts of my body changing or I feel insecure about different things.
• 25:43
  When I call it out and I share with my husband, like, you know, I'm really frustrated about this or I'm really aware of this of me that's like not toning up the way it used to, it it helps to feel connected in my relationship because I don't feel like I'm thinking it and it's like I'm projecting it onto him and it's this, you know, thing in the room that we don't discuss.
• 26:05
  And it makes it, you know, it it helps to normalize it and it helps him to talk about it as well.
• 26:09
  So it's we're not gonna avoid it.
• 26:11
  It's happening. And so Yeah.
• 26:14
  I think just coming to terms and accepting, you know, there's some grief, right, in the loss of vi of youth and vitality Mm-hmm.
• 26:23
  in a way that as we age we're gonna experience.
• 26:26
  And so we have to acknowledge it and be with it and move on to like figuring out who we are in this next phase.
• 26:34
  I think that's interesting that you said that there's some grief around it because I was reading something and it was talking about that, like how people augment their looks so much now that they are almost really trying to avoid that grief process and that people back, you know, even a generation ago ha they didn't have a choice.
• 26:57
  Like they had to deal with that grief and Yeah.
• 27:01
  I think that's something we're not dealing with.
• 27:03
  Do you think that I d definitely. I mean that's it.
• 27:06
  We're trying to we're trying to avoid it.
• 27:09
  We're trying to maintain something artificially, right? So it's it it but I think throughout life, everything is always changing.
• 27:20
  You know? Like we Everything is a phase. And so you get into a routine and you get into a groove and you have your work and your friends and your weekly stuff.
• 27:30
  And then, you know, a couple months later, it's different. Or a year later, it's different. Or what you're doing with your friends or what you care about changes. So this this process of sort of enjoying the experience and then letting go as it changes.
• 27:44
  I think every time we're letting go, we're also welcoming something new in.
• 27:49
  We're making space for new as we let go of old.
• 27:52
  And it's if we don't fight that, if we kind of s embrace that as like, all right, you know, like I really enjoyed this and now I have to let go of it, but I'm gonna wait for this next thing that I'm really gonna enjoy.
• 28:05
  And so Mm-hmm.
• 28:05
  sort of being open to something positive coming in,~ I think can help with that process.
• 28:12
  But I think Yeah.
• 28:13
  it's hard. I mean it it is like it's it is grief.
• 28:16
  It is it is hard to lose things you care about.
• 28:20
  Mm-hmm. It's a season, right? I mean, It's a season, yeah.
• 28:22
  that's how I think of it. It's like a season and this is a different season.
• 28:26
  Somebody was on the podcast and she was talking about how like the, you know, menopause is like the autumn.
• 28:34
  You are reaping what you've sown like in your whole life.
• 28:39
  So if you arrive at menopause and you're completely depleted and you know That's like you didn't tend to your garden, you didn't water the garden, you didn't feed the garden yeah.
• 28:50
  properly, you know, you're not gonna have a good harvest.
• 28:54
  And like this is harvest time and Yeah.
• 28:56
  that you kind of can't lie about what's going on in your garden, you know, if you didn't take care of it.
• 29:02
  And this is like the time that it's showing up.
• 29:05
  I mean, Yeah, totally.
• 29:07
  yeah. Do you ~ do you are there like certain medications that cause like lack of desire or w th I don't know.
• 29:19
  Is there are there certain medications?
• 29:21
  Have you heard about that?
• 29:23
  like so I I mean what I have heard from clients Yeah.
• 29:27
  and from peers is I do think there is something about the GLP ones that taking. I do think there~ is some I'm hearing some blunted desire from these medications.
• 29:40
  Not from everyone, but like, you know, I I have heard that they're just the look, they're they're supposed to help you not crave things.
• 29:49
  And, you know, in not craving, you're not anticipating the pleasure of the experience.
• 29:54
  So I think in a way it makes sense that it would be sort of neutralizing that pleasure part of the brain.
• 30:01
  And so if you're not excited to have your glass of wine, if you're not excited.
• 30:05
  excited to have a piece of chocolate, why would that like why would you still be excited to have sex or have the desire to have sex, right? Like they're using this medication Yeah.
• 30:16
  to help people give up addictions and give up gambling Uh-huh.
• 30:20
  and things like that. ~ so I have heard that from multiple people that they notice kind of you know, there's like this blunting that happens.
• 30:28
  This like lack of craving, lack of interest.
• 30:31
  And ~ I mean I I know some of the people that talk about a lot of the menopause and perimenopause research are talking about this on social media it's like it is affecting that.
• 30:45
  GLP ones. Yeah.
• 30:46
  GLP ones. Yeah. ~ that happened with a friend. I I don't know about sex.
• 30:52
  She hadn't she didn't talk about that.
• 30:54
  I'll ask her. But she said that ~ she did~ we worked together for a whole weekend and she didn't want to drink.
• 31:02
  And she's like, I and this is somebody I've known since I was ten years old, and I can tell you she was putting down, She likes a drink? Yeah. Uh-huh.
• 31:08
  you know, she she could drink.
• 31:10
  I mean, you know, not she wasn't an alcoholic~ or anything, but she could definitely drink with the best of them.
• 31:14
  Yeah, yeah.
• 31:15
  And She was like, I'm I don't feel like it.
• 31:19
  I was like, what? I was like, we're Yeah yes yes not gonna have wine. I was like, okay, I'm still having wine, but you know, she's like, no, she's like, I don't want to.
• 31:27
  She's lost so much, she's lost like 70 pounds and she looks great, but yeah, Yeah.
• 31:32
  she's definitely lost her desire for ~ alcohol.
• 31:37
  That's interesting. I I'm definitely gonna ask her.
• 31:37
  Yeah. You should ask her about the the sex piece because yeah,~ she'll tell me. I'll report back.
• 31:42
  yeah. I I mean it's look, i i it's it is hard enough, I find, for women to to build up the desire, to like make space for desire, you know, like it's it's really a process of like being receptive and open and generating that. And so anything that blocks that even more is just gonna make it harder.
• 32:06
  Yeah.
• 32:07
  So I feel like yeah, I mean I'm personally not on a GLP one, so I don't I can't speak from a personal experience, but I definitely have heard and I have seen more research about it.
• 32:17
  So I would Yeah.
• 32:19
  I would caution that or at least be aware.
• 32:21
  Yeah, I think that's a good point.
• 32:24
  ~ Bet, you know, you just brought up like making space for desire again.
• 32:28
  And I think that this is probably the biggest thing.
• 32:31
  So I want to talk a little bit more about that.
• 32:33
  Do you Yeah.
• 32:34
  you know, I I feel like your sex life is sort of a barometer of for what's going on in your relationship. And I mean, I know there's other things like I'm not talking about like when you have little kids or you know, a schedule like that.
• 32:50
  Cause little kids will kill your sex life.
• 32:52
  But or maybe, Yes, they'll certainly like block your schedule.
• 32:55
  maybe I'm just speaking for myself.
• 32:57
  They defin yeah, they'll mess up your schedule and they'll exhaust you.
• 32:58
  Yeah. Yes.
• 33:01
  ~ but like I'm talking more like when your kids are grown and you're, you know, can focus more on your relationship.
• 33:09
  There is still ~ like you said, ramping the ramping up, the desire, the building of desire.
• 33:16
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:17
  But also What I mean, do people come to you and they're like, I do you get to the bottom of it and you're like they they admit like I have resentments or I don't wanna be with this person 'cause I'm mad.
• 33:30
  I'm mad at them for something resentful.
• 33:32
  Yeah.
• 33:33
  yeah.
• 33:34
  yeah. I th so so I think that, you know You have to have emotional intimacy in your relationship.
• 33:40
  There has to be a friendship, there has to be connection.
• 33:42
  We have to feel safe and not like safe from danger, but just emotionally safe. And we don't feel that way if we feel judged or distant or if either one of the people in the relationship are withholding anything. It feels uncomfortable.
• 33:58
  And I think that discomfort and that distance in the emotional intimacy does not lend itself to physical intimacy, right? Because it's like a disconnect and it feels~ it like creates this wedge between two people, and so you really do have to, you know, nurture the relationship, nurture the friendship.
• 34:17
  You have to know each other, you have to respect and care about each other enough that as a couple you prioritize sex and intimacy.
• 34:26
  That like it's important to you and you want to do it because you like the person you're going to do it with.
• 34:32
  You don't have to be like crazy madly in love with them, but you have to like them. You have to Want to do that. ~ but we I think a lot of couples get into routine and they don't they stop having dates, they stop like having intentional time together where it's really about the relationship and it's about the friendship and it's about getting to know who your partner is after 40 years or 30 years, right? Because you're certainly not the same person you were 20 years ago.
• 35:00
  but that requires effort, you know.
• 35:04
  People we get lazy, we go on autopilot, we sort of have our life.
• 35:07
  And we don't think about it. And I think that when we do invest and we do take that time, it it creates a connection, it allows you to resolve frustrations and resentments, and it lends itself to more sex.
• 35:22
  What what's a good starting point? Like where do you start?
• 35:24
  If you're just angry and you feel like your relationship is not where you want it to be and you have some resentments, like what's how do you start? How do you just start breaking through that ice?
• 35:36
  Honestly, I think that a lot of the anger and frustration comes from lack of attention and investment. I think that, you know, when you don't feel considered or cared about by your partner, then you feel hurt and the hurt turns to anger and the frustration and resentment.
• 35:51
  And I think that If I like when I'm working with couples, one of the first things I'm always doing is like, okay, let's set up a weekly date.
• 36:00
  Like you guys have to pick a day, you have to prioritize this. This is about the two of you like cultivating your connection and your relationship.
• 36:09
  And what's really interesting is like some couples are really resistant to that.
• 36:14
  It's like they don't want to commit or they only want to go on dates with other couples. Like they never, they don't want to be alone with each other.
• 36:22
  And it's like, okay.
• 36:24
  You have to be able to tolerate time with your partner.
• 36:27
  You can't like bring in distractions of other people.
• 36:30
  But but time and time again, I have couples where I'm like, guys, like, why could we not plan a date with you know, why did you not make your date this week?
• 36:40
  Like, what? we were busy, this came up, and it's like, all right, you cannot improve the quality of your relationship if you don't give it time. And so, but once they start getting into this like routine of having a weekly date and They both start showing up, it it creates that opportunity to connect and process the things that bring up the frustration.
• 37:02
  So it's just, I you know, if you're gonna improve your relationship, you have to first start with improving your friendship.
• 37:07
  You don't go from like, I Mm-hmm.
• 37:09
  don't like you, I'm mad at you, you suck to let's have sex. You have to be like, Right.
• 37:13
  all right, let's let's rekindle our friendship.
• 37:16
  Yeah, yeah. Definitely rekindling your fr and you know, I feel like you can only at the beginning, like if there's that much tension and anger and frustration, I think that you can only control how you are in the beginning until they come back around. And so maybe if you start like just by being nice, just be trying to be nice, considerate.
• 37:42
  You know, make them coffee, just do something for them that you know they'll appreciate. I think that can help break the ice too.
• 37:47
  Yeah. Well, how about even on a smaller scale, just start saying thank you for things during the day, Mm.
• 37:55
  right? Like, ~ hey, I really appreciate that you pulled your car all the way in.
• 38:00
  Hey, I really appreciate Yeah.
• 38:01
  that you picked up, you know, brought in the mail or you cleaned the dishes or you whatever it is.
• 38:05
  Yes.
• 38:06
  Just I think when we show appreciation, we soften.
• 38:11
  the other person, Mm-hmm.
• 38:12
  right? You can't it like breaks down the defense a little bit when you actually feel noticed, appreciated.
• 38:18
  Yeah.
• 38:18
  So thank you, I think goes a long way.
• 38:21
  Think you're right. I mean, that's for sure.
• 38:23
  Yes. Feeling Yeah, yeah.
• 38:25
  appreciated is big. Yeah.
• 38:27
  Huge, huge, yeah, totally.
• 38:28
  I know. ~ what else would before we move on, would would you want us to know?
• 38:34
  Any any good advice or relationship, sex advice? Is Make it a priority.
• 38:41
  there anything?
• 38:42
  Like, you know, talk about it, make it a priority. Like it is important.
• 38:47
  It is the glue that keeps you together.
• 38:49
  It it spices things up. It's part of the adventure.
• 38:53
  You know, like it and it generates, it's good for your health, right?
• 38:57
  Like sex is good for you. It's Helps with your vitality. It generates What does do? Yeah.
• 39:03
  it helps you feel more confident.
• 39:04
  Like when you're having regular sex, you feel more alive. You are more engaged.
• 39:09
  You're friendlier to people. Like there's just something about it that it it is sexual energy is life force energy.
• 39:17
  Like one of the reasons I got into this field in the first place was because I had a baby and I like lost connection to that energy and it felt terrible.
• 39:26
  And I was just like Couldn't believe the connection, not just to pleasure and sex, but to vitality.
• 39:33
  And I think that it we it the we can't suppress the energy and we can't ignore We need to cultivate it. It like keeps us alive, it like brightens, charges our battery.
• 39:45
  So it is worth investing in for the sake of your relationship, but at the sake of yourself.
• 39:52
  Mhm.
• 39:53
  It it like I said, babies are sex killers.
• 39:56
  They they're Well, they bring awareness to a problem for sure.
• 40:00
  They get you to refocus.
• 40:04
  That's for damn sure. I'm glad mine are grown, but I love But yeah.
• 40:10
  I mean that they'll suck the energy out of you.
• 40:13
  And that but you're right. You do feel more I don't know.
• 40:16
  I always feel like it you're absolutely right.
• 40:19
  It is a connection and it keeps you I mean it's a literal connection and a figure.
• 40:22
  Yeah, it's an energy exchange, Mm-hmm. that's a good way to think of it.
• 40:24
  right? It's an energy exchange.
• 40:26
  So you're connecting. Yeah. Totally.
• 40:27
  An energy exchange.
• 40:29
  Yes. Yes. It it makes That's a big difference. It like, I mean, it just does. It's validating.
• 40:36
  It's comforting. It's connecting.
• 40:38
  It's all of these things that we just don't it's we take it for granted just how important it is to have that between people.
• 40:45
  So Mm-hmm. Yeah.
• 40:47
  yeah.
• 40:47
  I don't think I yeah, I don't think people take it for well, maybe people do take it for granted, but yeah, it's important.
• 40:54
  It's really important. Yeah.
• 40:54
  Okay.
• 40:55
  Let's talk about your book, the newest book, The Accomplished Woman. What tell Okay.
• 41:00
  me about the book and tell me why you wrote that and what it's about.
• 41:04
  ~ so I wrote the book because I grew up with a my father is a professional speaker, businessman, sales guru person, and I grew up with this this messaging around success and achievement and accomplishment, but it was very masculine and I always felt really frustrated here like hearing his take on what was success and how you measured achievement.
• 41:32
  Because I have three kids and I'm married and I have work and I wanted, you know, a balance between those.
• 41:38
  I didn't want to give up one thing for another.
• 41:40
  And I I've seen so many women who feel the same way who either devalue their contributions or they underestimate what they're capable of and just what they're offering to people and communities.
• 41:53
  And and so ~ I wrote the book because I wanted to help women define success for themselves.
• 42:01
  to like take control of the narrative and really reflect on what being accomplished meant to them.
• 42:09
  And then I'm big on practical exercises and you know action.
• 42:15
  So not just learning something, but I believe you have to learn something and then you have to do something with what you learn.
• 42:21
  Otherwise it just stays in your mind.
• 42:23
  It doesn't really change anything.
• 42:25
  So it it it's a very holistic look at what it takes for women to feel accomplished and how you can define that in each area of your life.
• 42:34
  So I I talk about success, I talk about Goal setting, I talk about time management, I talk about health and wellness and stress and sexuality and relationships.
• 42:44
  You know, everything I think that women care about.
• 42:47
  That we can't just pick one area and define it and invest in it.
• 42:52
  We have to really decide what what the whole picture looks like.
• 42:55
  And so I wrote the book to help women do that.
• 42:59
  So are you saying that all of those things together make a woman feel accomplished or does every woman I mean, I'm sure i it's different with each woman, right? What would make her Yeah, it's different.
• 43:10
  feel accomplished?
• 43:12
  Yeah, it's different. It it that's the thing, is it's each person defines success for themselves.
• 43:17
  Right. And so and it's a balance, it's a calibration of what you care about.
• 43:22
  But I think what I have found is that there are There's a lot of competition amongst women.
• 43:29
  And when we compete with each other, we don't help each other. But then there's also a lot of collaboration amongst women.
• 43:37
  And that collaboration is how we get more done and how we move things and how we, you know, I really believe that like when you lift others, we all rise. And so I think that if we can accept that there isn't a right way of being accomplished and achieving success, then we can define it for ourselves and feel accomplished.
• 43:56
  accomplished in our own lives, so our lives feel meaningful and fulfilling, but also we can appreciate how other people are living their own lives and what they're doing, as opposed to comparing or competing.
• 44:09
  It can just be like, you're doing it that way.
• 44:12
  That's great. I'm doing it this way.
• 44:13
  And we can help each other or we can just appreciate the differences.
• 44:18
  yeah.
• 44:18
  I think yeah, shit gets done when women help each other.
• 44:21
  That's Totally, totally. But we have to eliminate for sure. Mm-hmm.
• 44:24
  the comparison or the competition or any of that.
• 44:27
  And I think, you know, just being able to say like, yeah, this makes me happy. What makes you happy?
• 44:33
  Cool. That's I can actually help you with that.
• 44:35
  Or you can help me with this. Great.
• 44:37
  We can collaborate. And like it just, it's amazing what happens when women are in community and collaborate.
• 44:43
  Yeah, I mean I didn't really know who your dad I st I I feel like I maybe have heard of your dad, but I didn't really know who he was.
• 44:50
  But then when I was researching you, I came across his Instagram. It was linked to yours.
• 44:55
  And I was like, ~ this man literally has a million followers.
• 44:59
  He's been Yeah.
• 45:00
  around. He's written what, like a hundred something books.
• 45:03
  Just about yeah, I think a hundred bucks.
• 45:04
  I mean, that's Yeah, yeah. No, he's crazy.
• 45:07
  Yeah, he he it's he is one of the, you know, pioneers of positive psychology and speaking, you know, along with like Bob Proctor and Tony Robbins and all those guys.
• 45:18
  Like they interesting that there were so many men at the time doing that.
• 45:23
  Uh-huh.
• 45:24
  but yeah, just that there was this movement of po of, you know, motivation and goal setting.
• 45:30
  And so that's what I grew up with.
• 45:32
  I grew up with like this presence, this masculine sick presence of you can do anything you want. And, you know, so it it was interesting to watch that and then also to see my mother who stayed at home and took care of the house and raised the kids.
• 45:46
  And I was like, I'm a woman, so here's my mom and the kids, and here's my dad with like the world.
• 45:52
  What does that mean? and what does it mean for women?
• 45:55
  You know, like where do we fit in?
• 45:57
  So I just really wanted to give women a path that isn't sacrificing that mother-wife experience, but like also lets you be successful and accomplished.
• 46:10
  How do you balance that? Do you have like a good answer for that?
• 46:13
  Because if you do, I don't know, like you win the prize. Like how do you?
• 46:17
  Yeah, you know what? I have wall calendars with colored stickers and ~ you know I I think the most important thing is you have to decide what matters.
• 46:29
  Like you actually have to sit down and be like, these are the things I care about.
• 46:32
  This is what matters. And then you have to be proactive with your time, not reactive. I think there's a tendency sometimes to sort of wake up and you get a call or an email and you respond and then you call the person back and then suddenly you're meeting another person for lunch or you're picking something up from the store and you spend your day kind of reacting to these things that come in at you.
• 46:55
  And at the end of the day, you're like, wow, I did a lot of stuff today, but None of it really was based on what's meaningful to me.
• 47:03
  I was basically doing things for everyone else.
• 47:06
  and I think women tend to fall into that easier and quicker than, you know, men in general. ~ and so It we just have to be proactive.
• 47:18
  We can't be proactive without first being like, this is important to me. So here's my list for today of the things that have to happen. And anything else that comes in is like secondary.
• 47:28
  So I'm gonna focus on these and then I can do these versus bumping other people's priorities above our own. And so then you know, you just it it's it's time management.
• 47:41
  It's tough. Time management and self-discipline, but it's really starts with like clarity and being proactive.
• 47:49
  clarity of what you want what you're trying to accomplish, what you want to accomplish or what you think is important.
• 47:57
  That's mhm. Mm-hmm.
• 47:57
  Yeah, like what's important for your life?
• 47:59
  Like like again, it's the idea is like what would make you feel accomplished as a woman, right? Well, if I feel strong in my body and I work out three times a week, that's gonna keep me at a physical level that makes me feel good about myself.
• 48:13
  So we now know that's a priority.
• 48:15
  So on Monday when you're supposed to work out, you work out before you do the eight things someone else wants you to do.
• 48:21
  You don't sacrifice your self-care.
• 48:24
  because somebody needs something, you do this, then you do their thing.
• 48:28
  Mm-hmm.
• 48:29
  That's really good advice. I mean, it's simple, but it's really good advice because I was just talking to my friend about that today.
• 48:36
  We got up, like we went on a walk really early this morning.
• 48:39
  And, you know, we got up earlier than we normally would to do this.
• 48:43
  And we were both like, my God, it's dark out. This is crazy. We were like looking in people's windows and we're like, what are they doing up so early?
• 48:51
  Like, what? And then but You're like, wait, there's this whole world.
• 48:54
  I know, but she's like, I need she was especially she has little kids and she was like, I need to prioritize myself and I need to start working out early because she's like, if I don't, this is the thing that gets pushed.
• 49:07
  She was just saying that. That's exactly right.
• 49:09
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 49:10
  And especially when she works and she has little kids, that, you know, she has to prioritize herself.
• 49:16
  And of course she doesn't because, you know, she's a woman and she's It life just takes over.
• 49:21
  Yes, yes.
• 49:22
  And I think that we've also maybe gotten some subliminal messages that~ you're a better woman if you sacrifice yourself and that's Yes, yes. Yeah.
• 49:33
  a bunch of bullshit, but you know.
• 49:36
  Yeah, well we we just naturally tend to serve, you know, like Yeah.
• 49:40
  we're generous with our time. We donate our services.
• 49:43
  You know, like women have a hard time charging for their services because it's Right.
• 49:48
  but I should charge for this. I just wanna like offer my help and volunteer and yeah. I mean it's just it's it's a it's a mindset shift, but it is hard because you know, w there's just a tendency to be wanna be in community and wanna help and wanna serve and you know, it feels good.
• 50:05
  So Mm.
• 50:07
  But yeah.
• 50:07
  And~ so obviously they can get it on Amazon is a or should they go to your website or to get the accomplished woman?
• 50:13
  Yeah, I mean Amazon is great. My you can get it from my website or you can get it from Amazon or Barnes and Noble or you know, any of the any of the book places.
• 50:19
  Yeah. Any of the book places.
• 50:21
  Yeah. Any of the book places.
• 50:23
  Okay.
• 50:25
  well thank you for sharing that.
• 50:26
  let me ask you, do you have a best piece of advice for aging well?
• 50:33
  Take care of yourself. Make yourself a priority.
• 50:37
  I mean, like, you know, we we are going to live a long time because of science and everything that's happening.
• 50:44
  And it's not about like a long lifespan.
• 50:47
  I love this new term, like it's a health span, right? I would say ~ like really take care of your brain and your mind.
• 50:55
  You know, you can keep your body strong, but if your mind goes, like it's gonna be challenging for you and for the people around you. And I see that a lot, right? Bodies are outlasting their minds.
• 51:06
  So but yeah it's it it's you have to prioritize your wellness your physical strength and your mental health like to age well it's important without Yeah, that's mm-hmm.
• 51:20
  like without our health nothing else is possible so it's That's right, for sure. Right, not an option yeah right. Do you have a favorite health or beauty product?
• 51:33
  I mean I'm taking creatine and I love creatine.
• 51:36
  So anybody who's not taking creatine should be taking creatine.
• 51:39
  That's a big one that's also come out, you know, like the five Yeah.
• 51:42
  to ten milligrams a day. It's really good for your brain.
• 51:45
  It's good for your muscles. It's like keeps you sharp, helps with the like fuzzy mind thing.
• 51:52
  What what do you have a brand that you like or somebody was just on here talking about she said water washed or is that a thing?
• 52:00
  I think she said water washed versus You know, I d I don't know.
• 52:02
  acid washed or something.
• 52:04
  I don't know about that. I think I Okay.
• 52:06
  use it mines from like designs from health.
• 52:09
  ~ Okay.
• 52:10
  any of the clean brands I think are good, like just being, you know, t quality brands.
• 52:18
  Just feels so hard to pick those things out because I feel like anything could say it's clean or whatever. I just, you know, I guess b everybody needs to do their w research, but five to ten that's what she was saying, I think five to ten milligrams a day.
• 52:32
  Yeah, yeah. I think you start with five and you build up to ten is the ideal.
• 52:35
  How I need to Yeah.
• 52:36
  take it. How do is it like a powder you put in a drink?
• 52:39
  What do you do with it?
• 52:41
  I put my powder in my thermos.
• 52:42
  ~ in your thermos. Okay. You do taste it?
• 52:43
  This is my water. And I just drink it.
• 52:46
  So nope, it doesn't taste like anything.
• 52:47
  It doesn't taste like anything?
• 52:48
  Okay.
• 52:49
  And you can drink it over a period of time, you know, like it's but it definitely is a supplement I highly recommend.
• 52:55
  And magnesium, you know, is a really, Magnesium.
• 52:58
  really important one, especially at nighttime for sleeping.
• 53:01
  ~ I take two kinds of magnesium.
• 53:05
  I take a glycinate and I take a theonate.
• 53:07
  Theonate is more for your brain.
• 53:08
  Glycinate is more for your muscles.
• 53:10
  and I love infrared saunas.
• 53:14
  Those are also Me too.
• 53:16
  awesome. Like the heat, I think, is great.
• 53:18
  Yes.
• 53:19
  So, and stretching, you know, that's Yeah.
• 53:22
  another thing that I think we underestimate for our vitality, is just the stretching. Like whether it's a roller using like those Feldenkrais rolls or yoga, but It you if you stretch for a period of time and then you stop, you really notice a difference.
• 53:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 53:37
  So to me I feel like when we don't do something and we notice a consequence, it motivates us to stick to our routine of getting it done.
• 53:44
  Yeah. That sounds yeah, those are good ones. ~ and then this last one, just for fun, I ask everybody, what's your favorite concert you've ever been to?
• 53:53
  Hmm. You know, I'm gonna go with the one that comes to mind.
• 53:57
  I took my if I have two daughters and we went and saw the ABBA concert at the Hollywood Bowl. It was like an an ABBA cover band, but it was awesome. Like we had the best time with that.
• 54:07
  how fun. ~ my gosh.
• 54:09
  It was great. Big ABBA fans. Yeah.
• 54:11
  yeah. That sounds like a good one.
• 54:13
  It was good.
• 54:14
  I've seen an ABBA cover band too. That was really good.
• 54:18
  And I've also Yeah.
• 54:19
  seen some of the original members together.
• 54:22
  That was good. I mean, yeah. It~ wow, that'd be cool. Yep.
• 54:25
  was cool. Yes. ~ Well, thank you so much for taking time to be with us today, Dr. Christina Tracy Stein. All right.
• 54:31
  Yeah, of course. Thank you so much for having me.
• 54:35
  Thank you, take care, bye-bye.
• 54:37
  Of course, you too. Thanks.