Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 103. Reality Transurfing and Encouragement | You are your ideal now!

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103. Reality Transurfing and Encouragement | You are your ideal now! · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  You are.
• 0:00
  Your ideal now.
• 0:03
  That is something that my mentor, my coach Joseph Rodriguez is talking about right now and has encouraged in myself as well.
• 0:13
  And others.
• 0:14
  That that is the truth.
• 0:17
  And today we're going to talk about encouragement in Reality Transurfing in Transurfing on Tuesday, even though this may be Wednesday, that this comes out.
• 0:29
  Joseph Rodriguez is my mentor and coach.
• 0:33
  I'm a part of his mastermind as well.
• 0:35
  I'll have a link to that in the show notes and description below.
• 0:39
  But.
• 0:42
  He has been teaching us lately that we are our ideal.
• 0:46
  Now he's actually encouraged that in myself and I have found things.
• 0:53
  Synchronistically happening that way.
• 0:56
  And we're going to talk about that today.
• 1:00
  You're listening to the Kathie's Coaching Podcast I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 1:07
  I have been a certified fitness trainer and certified life coach since 2002.
• 1:12
  On this channel, we talk about.
• 1:15
  Healthy habits, having a growth mindset.
• 1:18
  Fitness and even some Reality Transurfing and today we're discussing a quote from Reality Transurfing that I have built upon about encouragement.
• 1:31
  Here's the quote.
• 1:32
  When you encourage a person, no matter what you urge them in a favorable direction without making them lose the flow or undermining their inner most hopes.
• 1:43
  When you encourage someone nobody's rights are impinged upon and nobody's pride is knocked.
• 1:50
  Your interests become one and their desires run parallel to your own.
• 1:55
  That is a quote from Reality Transurfing a book written by Russian quantum physicist, Vadim Zealand.
• 2:02
  I talk about Reality Transurfing on this channel often, and I'll have a link in the show notes and description below.
• 2:08
  Where you can learn more about Reality Transurfing.
• 2:13
  As always, I find motivation and inspiration from quotes from the book in Reality Transurfing.
• 2:20
  Encouragement is a powerful tool that can change someone's life in an excellent way.
• 2:26
  It is a simple act that can make.
• 2:29
  A significant impact.
• 2:31
  And it is not only limited to just words of praise and compliments.
• 2:37
  Encouragement is the act of urging someone in a favorable direction.
• 2:41
  Without making them lose their flow or undermine their inner most hopes.
• 2:47
  This quote from Reality Transurfing highlights, the importance of encouragement and how it can benefit both the encourager and the person being encouraged.
• 2:58
  I also liked this quote from the book, the Science of Likeability by Patrick King.
• 3:04
  "Pay attention, especially to compliments, you can pay and recognizing something that someone has put effort into.
• 3:12
  This shows an extra layer of thought and care.
• 3:17
  This quote right here describes the right mindset for today.
• 3:21
  That extra layer of thought and care can be a very good reason to add encouragement and add great things to your life and someone else's at the same time.
• 3:32
  So just a couple of days ago, my neighbor had an accident.
• 3:36
  She fell on her patio.
• 3:38
  I had just finished talking to her.
• 3:40
  And when all of a sudden I heard this loud crash.
• 3:43
  And then I started hearing her scream and I had this memory of her saying when her husband was gone for a while, if you hear me screaming over here, please come help me.
• 3:53
  And I'm like, okay, doc.
• 3:55
  I doubt, I'm going to hear you screaming, but this was just a coincidence.
• 4:00
  Anyway, she fell down and I see her laying in her patio, on her back with her head against the step.
• 4:08
  So she fell all the way down and she was screaming for her husband who was inside.
• 4:13
  And she goes, get him, get my husband.
• 4:16
  I think I broke my neck and.
• 4:19
  I have to remind you here.
• 4:20
  I am trained in this kind of incident.
• 4:23
  I have been trained to deal with people falling down.
• 4:26
  Having cardiac arrest, things like that as a personal trainer, we're trained in CPR.
• 4:32
  And.
• 4:34
  And accidents like that.
• 4:35
  And I've been trained for many years because you have to stay up on your certifications.
• 4:39
  Anyways, having said that what happened was she fell?
• 4:43
  And she said that she thought she broke her neck.
• 4:46
  And I got her husband to come out there and he.
• 4:50
  He said, are you okay?
• 4:51
  Are you okay?
• 4:52
  He tried to pick her up.
• 4:53
  I said, no, do not move her.
• 4:54
  You don't move somebody who falls and think they broke their neck.
• 4:58
  I said, go call nine one one.
• 4:59
  He brought his phone out there and he started calling 9 1 1.
• 5:03
  And.
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  I was keeping her calm.
• 5:06
  I was using these little things that we're talking about today.
• 5:10
  I was using encouragement to keep her calm.
• 5:13
  I said, oh, you're, you're going to be okay.
• 5:15
  Just relax.
• 5:16
  Just stay calm, stay calm.
• 5:18
  And her husband calls 9 1 1 and nine.
• 5:21
  One one is asking questions that they're supposed to ask by CA.
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  Is she bleeding?
• 5:26
  Can she breathe?
• 5:28
  Um, things like that.
• 5:29
  So she was able to answer questions.
• 5:32
  He answered questions about her height, her weight, and she's like, no, that's not right.
• 5:36
  And she was apologizing to me that she fell.
• 5:39
  They asked if she could feel her fingers and her legs.
• 5:42
  And she made this look like, oh, I didn't think about that.
• 5:46
  And she started wiggling her fingers.
• 5:48
  So I knew that she was probably okay.
• 5:50
  But I was thinking in my mind what Joseph teaches me.
• 5:54
  That you are your ideal now.
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  So I tried to keep calm myself.
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  And to keep her calm.
• 6:00
  I was saying.
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  She corrected him when he told the, the EMS or the 9 1, 1 operator, her weight, she corrected him and he was like, I said, see, you you're even joking about this.
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  You're laughing.
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  You're ha you're okay.
• 6:15
  You're fine.
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  And I was keeping her calm.
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  As she was being wheeled away to the ambulance, which she needed to go to the hospital and get everything checked.
• 6:26
  I was saying prayers for her and my prayers were she, you are your ideal.
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  Now you will be okay.
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  Everything's going to be fine.
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  The doctors will be able to take care of you.
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  Those were my prayers that everything was going to be fine.
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  And bottom line.
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  It was you.
• 6:43
  You are your ideal now.
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  Just a few hours later, she comes back from the hospital and she's texting me the next morning.
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  I'm fine.
• 6:53
  I just have a few bruises.
• 6:55
  They, I didn't hurt my vertebraes.
• 6:57
  She has, um, some vertebraes that are messed up in her back.
• 7:02
  And she was concerned about that as well.
• 7:04
  And of course, naturally, so, and everything was fine.
• 7:10
  So.
• 7:12
  She was her ideal now.
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  My encouragement helped her.
• 7:15
  She also said, thank you for helping me stay calm.
• 7:19
  Your words of encouragement helped me.
• 7:21
  All of that came back to me, picturing my ideal now and her ideal now, and that all has to do with encouragement, which is what we're talking about today.
• 7:33
  So notice how Reality Transurfing says that that encouragement is good for you.
• 7:37
  And it's good for me.
• 7:39
  The act of encouragement involves supporting and motivating someone to achieve their goals.
• 7:44
  Or overcome their challenges.
• 7:46
  It is not just about telling someone they are doing a good job or they're going to be okay.
• 7:51
  But also about providing constructive feedback and helping them to see their F their potential encouragement.
• 8:00
  It helps to build confidence, increase motivation, and promote positive attitudes towards achieving goals.
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  One of the most significant benefits of encouragement is that it does not impinge on anyone's rights.
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  Our knocks anyone's pride.
• 8:18
  Encouragement is about lifting someone up, not tearing them down.
• 8:22
  It is about promoting positive growth and development rather than belittling someone's efforts or accomplishments.
• 8:30
  When, when encourage someone, we are creating a positive atmosphere where they feel supported, empowered, and motivated to succeed.
• 8:39
  And I would say this is one of the very good things about encouragement is a positive attitude mindset.
• 8:48
  Encouragement also creates a comradery and unity.
• 8:52
  When we encourage someone, we are expressing our interest in their success and their desires become parallel to their, to our own.
• 9:01
  We become invested in their goals and dreams, and we are willing to offer our support to help them achieve those goals.
• 9:08
  This creates a sense of shared purpose and helps to build strong relationships based on mutual respect and trust.
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  Encouragement is a great starting point in changing relationships.
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  I'm going to repeat that.
• 9:23
  Cause that's important.
• 9:24
  Encouragement is a great starting point and changing relationships.
• 9:30
  So as a personal trainer, I work with clients all the time and encourage them.
• 9:34
  It is extremely important.
• 9:37
  But encouragement is also kind of a sensitive.
• 9:40
  Topic, because you can encourage someone in the wrong way.
• 9:43
  I've done this for many years and of course I've done it in the wrong way too.
• 9:47
  Sometimes.
• 9:48
  So when I'm trying to teach somebody an exercise, I'm like, here's the proper form.
• 9:53
  I show them how to do it.
• 9:55
  I show them what muscle they're working.
• 9:56
  I showed them where to feel it.
• 9:58
  And then if they start doing it, improperly, I encourage them in a different way.
• 10:02
  I say, oh, you're not doing that wrong.
• 10:05
  And actually it's right, because you're starting to work other muscles that are involved here.
• 10:10
  I want you to feel it here.
• 10:11
  And if you still feel it here, then do it that way because it's not wrong.
• 10:15
  But this is the way I want you to do it.
• 10:17
  I want your elbows here.
• 10:19
  Those kinds of pointers.
• 10:22
  Another thing that happens is I want people to stay motivated to exercise.
• 10:28
  I love how fitness changes lives.
• 10:30
  And the other day I've been running circuits at my workplace as the corporate wellness director.
• 10:37
  I've been running circuit training.
• 10:38
  With several of the people that come in on their lunch hour.
• 10:42
  And one of the girls came in.
• 10:43
  I said, how are you doing.
• 10:45
  And this one girl has been through a lot of stuff, traumatic family trauma, some trauma at work.
• 10:52
  And, um, I'm talking like trauma.
• 10:54
  That was just an accident, but it's going to cause you anxiety and stress in the future.
• 10:59
  And.
• 11:01
  She came in and she said, I'm not taking my anxiety medication anymore.
• 11:05
  I don't need it.
• 11:07
  While that's a great thing.
• 11:08
  I don't recommend just stopping your anxiety medication because you feel great.
• 11:13
  But my point in telling you this is the encouragement she's had along the way, the little steps she's taken has led her to where she feels a whole lot better, and the anxiety is gone.
• 11:26
  That's what I mean about how fitness changes lives.
• 11:31
  Encouragement is not actually limited to one area of life.
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  It can be applied in many different contexts.
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  Like the one I told you in the accident where the girl fell down and the one I just told you about the girl that.
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  Works out with me and does fitness.
• 11:50
  But encouragement can include several different contexts.
• 11:55
  It can include personal relationships, education, and the workplace.Encouragement can help foster a positive and productive work environment, leading to increase job satisfaction and improve performance.
• 12:08
  It can become one of your new strategies to transform your business.
• 12:12
  So as a corporate wellness director, I use encouragement all the.
• 12:17
  Time to help in the workplace to help somebody if they're exercising right, or they're feeling good, or if I just happened to encourage them in a certain way.
• 12:27
  I always try to find where they're working in the business as well, what they do so I can learn more about them and encourage them along the way.
• 12:36
  In whatever they happen to be dealing with because I pictured them as their ideal.
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  Now, when somebody comes to me with a goal, I go, what's your goal?
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  What's your mindset?
• 12:46
  What's your, what's your aspiration?
• 12:49
  Where do you want to be?
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  And then I start picturing them from there.
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  No, I learned that from Joseph Rodriguez.
• 12:55
  So that's how he mentors us as well.
• 12:58
  And.
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  As I've been doing this, I've noticed.
• 13:03
  Huge quantum leaps in other people's lives, just because of what I'm picturing for them as well.
• 13:13
  Now let's discuss this concept, the power of yet.
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  And I love this concept and it can be a great way to encourage others.
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  The phrase, the power of yet refers to the belief that although you may not have achieved or mastered your skill yet with effort and perseverance, which are two things you can control controlling the controllables.
• 13:35
  You can achieve it in the future.
• 13:37
  This mindset can be very powerful because it focuses on growth improvement and the potential for success.
• 13:44
  Simply get out of your comfort zone and try new things and get new skills and create real life adventures.
• 13:52
  The power of yet is particularly relevant in the context of learning and education.
• 13:58
  When faced with a challenging subject or task, it can be easy to feel discouraged and believe that you will not be able to master it.
• 14:05
  However, by adopting the power of a yet mindset, you can shift your focus from the current limitations to the potential for future growth and success.
• 14:17
  This could be particular helpful in students who are struggling with a particular subject or skill.
• 14:23
  As it can help them maintain the motivation and presser, perseverance, which are two things you can control.
• 14:31
  The power of yet can be one of the positive ways to help a student succeed.
• 14:37
  The power of yet can also be useful in other areas of life, such as career development.
• 14:43
  Relationships and personal growth, including your fitness.
• 14:48
  By recognizing that you may not have yet achieved your goals or reached your full potential yet.
• 14:53
  But that you have the potential to do so with effort and perseverance, you can maintain a positive growth oriented mindset.
• 15:02
  I would say, this is one of the new ways to reach those big goals.
• 15:09
  Ultimately the power of yet is about embracing the journey of growth and development rather than focusing solely on the end goal.
• 15:19
  Remember that journey and the destination are one.
• 15:24
  And it is a mindset that can help you overcome challenges and maintain motivation and achieve your full potential.
• 15:33
  I also liked the way.
• 15:35
  Carol Dweck discusses, encouragement, and mindset.
• 15:39
  In fact, I think she played a big role in the concept of growth mindset.
• 15:46
  Carol Dweck is a renowned psychologist and researcher who has extensively studied the impact of mindset on learning and achievement.
• 15:54
  She has written extensively on the power of encouragement and how impacts one's mindset.
• 16:00
  Her work expresses the important thing of positive mindsets and the idea of a growth mindset.
• 16:09
  According to Dweck there are two types of mindset, a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and a fixed mindset.
• 16:17
  Individuals believe that their abilities and intelligence are fixed and cannot be changed.
• 16:22
  This can lead to a fear of failure and a lack of motivation to take on new challenges and contrast in a growth mindset.
• 16:30
  Individuals believe that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and hard work.
• 16:36
  This leads to a desire to take on new challenges and a willingness to learn from mistakes and failures.
• 16:43
  Great accomplishments are made during hard times.
• 16:47
  Remember that great accomplishments are made during hard times and then ask yourself later if that really was a hard thing.
• 16:59
  Dweck argues that encouragement can be a powerful tool in promoting growth mindset.
• 17:05
  When individuals are encouraged before their effort and hard work, rather than their innate abilities.
• 17:11
  Or even their intelligence, they are more likely to adopt a growth mindset.
• 17:17
  The encouragement that focuses on the process.
• 17:20
  Rather than the outcome can help individuals to develop a love of learning.
• 17:25
  A desire to take on the challenges and a belief that they can improve their abilities.
• 17:31
  To me, that is an actual encouragement card process that will win every single time.
• 17:40
  Dweck also stresses the importance of giving constructive feedback that promotes growth and development, rather than just offering praise or criticism feedback should focus on how individuals can improve and develop their skills.
• 17:55
  This helps to reinforce the belief that abilities can be developed through effort and hard work.
• 18:03
  I have to mention a story.
• 18:04
  I heard on a podcast episode today, and it was about Lewis house, how he started in Toastmasters when he was in his early twenties.
• 18:12
  And the very first speech he went to, he committed to a year of going to Toastmasters once a week and doing speeches and I can vouch I've done the same thing as well.
• 18:25
  But what he did was he w his very first speech was just memorizing word for word and looking down and looking down the whole time during his speech, he didn't even make eye contact with this audience.
• 18:39
  Toastmasters is known for giving really positive, constructive criticism.
• 18:43
  So they started with, okay, take a few times and look up at your audience.
• 18:48
  They didn't tell him how he was supposed to be great already.
• 18:53
  So what he did was he.
• 18:56
  Next speech.
• 18:56
  He came in and he started making eye contact a few times.
• 19:00
  And eventually he learned bit by bit slowly by slowly.
• 19:05
  With constructive criticism to step from behind the pod.
• 19:10
  The podium and.
• 19:13
  Make eye contact with his crowd and ended up with an actual standing ovation at the end of his speech and edit a Toastmasters environment.
• 19:21
  A standing ovation has means you have reached the top.
• 19:27
  All right.
• 19:27
  Here are 10 tips on encouragement, encouraging others can be a powerful way to uplift and motivate those around you and obviously motivate yourself as well.
• 19:37
  So here's her 10 tips on how to encourage others.
• 19:40
  Listen, actively is number one.
• 19:43
  One of the most powerful ways to encourage someone is to actively listen to them, show genuine interest in what they are saying, ask questions and acknowledge their feelings.
• 19:54
  Active listening is an important skill in many aspects of life, including personal relationships, professional settings and conflict resolution.
• 20:04
  By actively listening, you can improve your Communication skills, build stronger relationships and foster, a greater sense of understanding and empathy.
• 20:13
  In his book, make yourself unforgettable.
• 20:16
  Dale Carnegie says this about active listening.
• 20:20
  "In the end, the secret to effective listening is nothing more than the basic respect for another person.
• 20:28
  You're listening, not judging to the extent that you are nonjudgmental.
• 20:32
  People will be willing to talk candidly with you.
• 20:35
  And if they won't talk candidly, they might as well not talk at all.
• 20:40
  And if what you hear triggers an emotional response in you accept full responsibility for your actions.
• 20:47
  Remaining composed.
• 20:49
  Even when you feel your buttons are being pushed is a powerful expression of real class." I love this because he talks about responsibility, which is something I talk about.
• 21:00
  And when you take responsibility for your reactivity, you're not going to respond in the way that the person is dis is talking.
• 21:08
  You're going to respond with an emotional intelligence of a high IQ, as opposed to somebody who would just get irate.
• 21:16
  And then guess what the person's going to shut down and not talk to you.
• 21:20
  So you might as well sit back, relax.
• 21:23
  Take a deep breath and realize it's not about you.
• 21:26
  It's about actively listening to the person instead of becoming reactive.
• 21:32
  I'll have a link in the show notes and description below to the episode I did on responsibility.
• 21:39
  Number two show empathy.
• 21:41
  When someone is going through a difficult time, showing empathy can help them feel understood and supported.
• 21:47
  Try to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how they are feeling.
• 21:51
  Showing empathy involves being present, understanding and accepting of the person's emotions.
• 21:58
  By demonstrating empathy, you can build stronger relationships, foster, greater understanding, and create a more compassionate and supportive environment.
• 22:08
  Number three offer sincere praise.
• 22:11
  Offer sincere praise and compliments when someone does something well, Recognize their achievements and let them know that their efforts are appreciated.
• 22:20
  One of the great ways to acknowledge someone's success is to provide positive feedback.
• 22:25
  Encouraging words are always a great introduction to creating positive habits in young children.
• 22:32
  And when you can catch them doing something, you appreciate try to acknowledge it quickly and positively.
• 22:40
  So back when I was in college, I used to analyze drawings for children and in small children, I can analyze the way they draw and what that means.
• 22:49
  But one thing I learned in child psychology was to always encourage with descriptive words, what you see happening.
• 22:58
  If you see them drawing a picture, oh my goodness.
• 23:00
  I see your drawing.
• 23:01
  You're using that green color so well, they remember those encouraging words.
• 23:08
  Um, the other day I was with my grandson and he was putting chairs into the truck and helping his dad most four year olds would not be doing that.
• 23:18
  They'd be running around with their friends or chasing butterflies or something else besides helping their dad do something.
• 23:25
  And constructive like that.
• 23:28
  And I've noticed he always does that.
• 23:30
  So when he was doing that, it was like, Look at him, he's doing such a great job and I encouraged him.
• 23:37
  By using positive words and offering sincere praise for what he was doing, what that does in turn is it encourages them to do more.
• 23:47
  And I learned that in the book, positive discipline that I read many, many, many, many years ago.
• 23:54
  Number four offer constructive feedback.
• 23:57
  When someone is struggling offer constructive feedback to help them improve.
• 24:01
  Be specific, but also offer solutions and support.
• 24:05
  I remember that the right way to offer constructive feedback is only when someone is in a place to receive it.
• 24:12
  Oftentimes our feedback is not welcome because we offer it at the wrong, wrong time.
• 24:18
  I like to think of it as a feedback sandwich.
• 24:21
  So you have your bread.
• 24:23
  You offer a positive feedback, AKA the first slice of bread.
• 24:28
  Then you add the meat, which is the constructive feedback in the middle of the sandwich.
• 24:34
  And then our final piece of bread is the.
• 24:38
  Top it off with some more positive feedback.
• 24:43
  That is called a criticism sandwich or a constructive.
• 24:49
  Criticism sandwich.
• 24:52
  Number five, provide support, offer support, and practical ways such as helping with tasks or offering to be a listening ear.
• 25:00
  Let them know you are there for them.
• 25:03
  Number six, be genuine.
• 25:04
  Authenticity is key when encouraging others be sincere in your words and actions and avoid empty compliments or false praise.
• 25:16
  Number seven, be patient sometimes change a progress, takes time, encouraging others to keep going.
• 25:23
  Even when the road ahead seems long and difficult.
• 25:28
  Number eight offer perspective.
• 25:30
  When someone is feeling stuck or overwhelmed, offer a different perspective, help them see the bigger picture and the potential for positive outcomes, but be careful though, sometimes your perspective is unwanted and the other person is not ready for it.
• 25:46
  Take toxic positivity girl, for an example.
• 25:49
  And I have several episodes I've done on toxic positivity, but what happened during the race situation of.
• 25:56
  2020 was this one little gal argued with me, um, about anger and being anger over the race situation.
• 26:05
  And I offered a perspective of who I was listening to, which was Abraham Hicks.
• 26:11
  And I have to laugh because Abraham Hicks is actually a spiritual entity that is channeled by Esther Hicks.
• 26:18
  And she came back and she argued with me and said, I'm not listening to those white people you're talking about.
• 26:25
  And, um, you are blinded by the light.
• 26:27
  She actually forced me to say, you're right.
• 26:30
  I'm blinded by the light high step away from your perspective on things.
• 26:35
  And this is what I mean when I say be careful when you offer your perspective, because sometimes oftentimes people are not going to listen to it.
• 26:46
  What happened was.
• 26:48
  This gal was stuck in the lower levels of consciousness, which is anger and pride.
• 26:54
  She's very angry.
• 26:56
  And she's very prideful on so many different topics that she can't see the higher levels of consciousness, which come from courage and love and light.
• 27:08
  So yeah, I'd rather be blinded by the light and the higher levels of consciousness.
• 27:13
  Then to be.
• 27:15
  In the lower levels where you can't even see a different perspective, that could feel so much better to be in.
• 27:24
  Uh, number nine, believe in the other person when you're offering encouragement.
• 27:29
  Let others know that you believe in their abilities and potential encourage them to pursue their dreams and goals, even if they seem challenging.
• 27:38
  And number 10, celebrate success.
• 27:40
  When someone achieves a goal or overcomes a challenge, celebrate their success with them, acknowledge their hard work and congratulate them on their achievement.
• 27:49
  So at the end of every workout, I offer people their high fives.
• 27:52
  I celebrate with them.
• 27:54
  Celebrating the small wins.
• 27:56
  But when we get to the bigger wins, like for example, when the girl told me she didn't need her anxiety medication, I went overboard on my encouragement, but I also still encouraged her to stay on that medication until her doctor told her she was not.
• 28:13
  She didn't need it anymore.
• 28:15
  Which perhaps is the case because that's her ideal now.
• 28:20
  So in conclusion, encouragement is a powerful tool that can change lives.
• 28:24
  You picture somebody in their ideal now, and it does change everything.
• 28:30
  It is about urging someone in a favorable direction without undermining that inner most hopes are knocking their pride.
• 28:39
  As Vadim Zeland said in Reality Transurfing encouragement creates a sense of unity, shared purpose and mutual respect, leading to positive growth and development.
• 28:51
  So if you have the opportunity to encourage someone today, take it and watch the positive impact it can have.
• 28:58
  On both of you.
• 29:00
  All right.
• 29:01
  Thank you for spending part of your day with me.
• 29:03
  I trust that you found today's episode helpful, and if you know someone who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 29:10
  And until next time I will see you next time.
• 29:14
  Peace out and Namaste.