Latest / Create The Best Me / Midlife Magic: Transforming Women's Lives with Jack Perez

Transcript

Midlife Magic: Transforming Women's Lives with Jack Perez · Create The Best Me

0:00
Carmen Hecox: Welcome to Create the Best Me.
0:02
Carmen Hecox: I am Carmen Hecox, a personal development coach, and I am so excited to be connecting with you today.
0:09
Carmen Hecox: Whether you're listening to the podcast or joining us on YouTube, my goal is to help women navigate through midlife challenges with compassion, inspiration, and empowering conversations.
0:21
Carmen Hecox: Each week we'll dive into thought-provoking topics, designed to build self-confidence, overcome invisible women's syndrome, and find the courage to create the best version of yourself.
0:34
Carmen Hecox: I'll also be joined by expert guests who will share their wisdom and insights, so make yourself comfortable and let's embark on this journey together.
0:44
Carmen Hecox: Well, hello there, fearless midlife trailblazers.
0:47
Carmen Hecox: Welcome to Create the Best Me.
0:49
Carmen Hecox: If you are new here, I'm so glad you made it here.
0:52
Carmen Hecox: If you're a returning listener, welcome back to the one and only place where we encourage and empower women to pursue their dreams and live life to the fullest.
1:02
Carmen Hecox: I am Carmen Hecox, your host and personal development coach.
1:05
Carmen Hecox: Today's guest is Jacqueline Jack Perez and she is the founder and C E O of Kuel Life, an online platform designed to normalize aging for women through meaningful curated content and women driven brands.
1:23
Carmen Hecox: Kuel life continues to grow daily with over 60 industry thought leaders and more than 40 women driven brands.
1:32
Carmen Hecox: Kuel Life offers women an opportunity to share, learn, shop and more.
1:38
Carmen Hecox: Today, Jack is going to share her story about midlife and what inspired her to create Kuel Life.
1:46
Carmen Hecox: So without further ado, let's dig right into today's conversation.
1:51
Carmen Hecox: /Jacqueline Perez, welcome to Create The Best Me.
1:56
Jack Perez: Thank you, Carmen.
1:57
Jack Perez: It is amazing to be here.
1:58
Jack Perez: I'm so excited to share this space with you today.
2:01
Carmen Hecox: Yes.
2:01
Carmen Hecox: And today we have, Jacqueline Perez, also known as Jack of Kuel Life.
2:07
Carmen Hecox: Jack, for the people that do not know you, give us a little bit of background.
2:11
Jack Perez: So really quick, Carmen, I am a first generation born American, so both of my parents came from Cuba in 1962.
2:20
Jack Perez: Interesting way to grow up, right?
2:22
Jack Perez: I, I, I grew up, I think, uh, fairly quickly because I was responsible for a lot of grownup type activities at a pretty young age due to my parents' lack of language, skill, and then cultural skills as well, right?
2:38
Jack Perez: Because they came over already older and without the language and without the cultural knowledge that basically indicated that I had to do things like talk to the electric company, talk to the water company as young as like nine or 10 because my parents couldn't.
2:55
Jack Perez: So I, I grew up that way, which, you know some people will be like, oh, you were cheated out of a childhood.
3:01
Jack Perez: Like, no, I'm an incredibly high functioning human because I learned really early on how to do all of the things, you know?
3:10
Jack Perez: I mean, I had to by definition, right?
3:12
Jack Perez: So, and then I, I went to undergrad, got the undergrad degree, went to get my first job, did all the things.
3:20
Jack Perez: That are kind of on the list in your twenties, right?
3:22
Jack Perez: You get your education, you get your first job, you meet the boy, you marry the boy, you buy the house, you know, all of that stuff.
3:30
Jack Perez: And yeah, that was pretty much me.
3:33
Jack Perez: And I went back and got a master's, an MBA, and then I was recruited out to the Bay Area in California to work for a Fortune 50 company called Hewlett Packard.
3:42
Jack Perez: I'm sure everybody knows about it.
3:44
Jack Perez: But then last century in 1999, it hit me that I really needed to drop out of corporate America.
3:54
Jack Perez: I didn't do well in an environment where I was a cog.
3:58
Jack Perez: I needed to be closer to the result.
4:00
Jack Perez: My actions needed to be tied more directly, more, more linked to the results I needed to be held more accountable in my mind's eye.
4:09
Jack Perez: So in 1999, my then husband and I started our own marketing and PR firm in San Francisco called Summit Strategies.
4:18
Jack Perez: And we did that for many, many years.
4:20
Jack Perez: And then I decided to be a mom and I made that decision really late in life, Carmen.
4:26
Jack Perez: I was 38 when I had my son.
4:29
Jack Perez: So it's, you know, some people take, take some time, right.
4:34
Jack Perez: And I took, I took a little time to decide to take the motherhood track.
4:38
Jack Perez: And then once I became a mom, I really wanted to be the mom that was at home.
4:43
Jack Perez: You know, I wanted to be there to read in the school.
4:47
Jack Perez: I wanted to be there to walk him home.
4:49
Jack Perez: And in order to do that as a single mom, cuz I was divorced at the time, I then became a fractional executive.
4:57
Jack Perez: So, a few companies would hire me for part-time, sort of part-time fractional VP of marketing or part-time CEO.
5:06
Jack Perez: Then once my child was old enough, I decided to start my own gig, and that's where I am right now.
5:13
Jack Perez: Because once he got old enough that he didn't need me at that level, I had some extra time to go back to what I wanted to do professionally.
5:23
Jack Perez: Interestingly enough though, Carmen, it happened to coincide at the same time that I was going through menopause.
5:29
Jack Perez: And interestingly enough, menopause, that physiological change is what redirected my life professionally, interestingly enough, right?
5:38
Jack Perez: I made a decision to do something in the space for women in midlife and beyond because I had such a horrible time with the physiological change.
5:52
Jack Perez: So here we are, and this is how I ended up being in a room talking to you, Carmen.
5:57
Carmen Hecox: Exactly.
5:58
Carmen Hecox: and that's the reason why I asked you to come on to the show is, because you hit that stumbling block of menopause.
6:07
Carmen Hecox: Menopause kind of, made you pause and try to rediscover who you are.
6:14
Carmen Hecox: And where your new direction, where are you going?
6:18
Carmen Hecox: And so, and I think that a lot of us, when we hit menopause, cuz I'm in menopause now, I think that we develop this fear that perhaps it's time to put on the polyester pants and go get a perm and allow the gray hair to come in.
6:33
Carmen Hecox: Or some of us even get scared that, oh my gosh, I'm not ready to go there.
6:38
Carmen Hecox: And so what I want to talk about is accepting aging and aging on your terms.
6:43
Carmen Hecox: Because I don't think that I'm, I don't think that women.
6:49
Carmen Hecox: That are in mid age and beyond are wearing the polyester pants and, wearing the perm anymore, or at least my mom's not and she's 70.
7:00
Jack Perez: Well, and I don't see you in polyester with permed hair, and you don't see me with polyester and permed hair.
7:05
Jack Perez: No, thank you, ma'am.
7:06
Jack Perez: I like to shop at Anthropology and Athleta.
7:10
Jack Perez: I'm not slowing down.
7:12
Jack Perez: I'm not, and there's so many of us.
7:17
Jack Perez: Yes.
7:17
Jack Perez: What I want to do in, in this part of my life and what my mission is, I, I, I turned myself, I've given myself a moniker of Pro Age champion because my quest is to help the sea change of the normalization of aging.
7:38
Jack Perez: One of the reasons I think women struggle so much with all of the various.
7:45
Jack Perez: Things that happen to us as we age, and that I'm talking about everything from the hormone change, which then leads to, you know, physical changes, our skin loses ELA elasticity, our hair thins, our mid-section widens.
8:03
Jack Perez: We become different than we were in the first half or the first, whatever, you know?
8:11
Jack Perez: But, my contention is that there's a huge chasm between miniskirts and depends adult diapers, right?
8:21
Jack Perez: We're not ready for adult diapers.
8:22
Jack Perez: We're not ready for the polyester.
8:24
Jack Perez: We have an entire lifespan to live, and we get to live it however we want.
8:32
Jack Perez: Because here's the deal, at least from my perspective, the older I get, And I don't know if we're allowed to swear on here, but just in case I won't, the less Fs I give about almost anything.
8:45
Jack Perez: And honestly, every day goes by.
8:46
Jack Perez: I give less Fs.
8:48
Jack Perez: It's a delightful place to live.
8:50
Jack Perez: It's a delightful place to live.
8:52
Jack Perez: And I will take that.
8:54
Jack Perez: I will take my confidence, I will take my wisdom, I will take my unshakeability.
9:00
Jack Perez: That's not even a real word, but I just made it up.
9:02
Jack Perez: I will take that way over less crow's feet, to be honest with you.
9:09
Jack Perez: Right.
9:10
Jack Perez: I mean, I, because the crow's feet, if I'm not in front of a mirror, don't bother me.
9:14
Jack Perez: They might bother you, but they don't bother me if I'm not in front of a mirror.
9:18
Jack Perez: I once had a guest in an interview say to me, you know, if you don't like what you're looking at in the mirror, stop looking at the mirror, and I thought that was really funny.
9:33
Carmen Hecox: I can sort of look at, crow's feet as sort of like, um, like stretch marks.
9:39
Carmen Hecox: At least my stretch marks.
9:40
Carmen Hecox: I wear them with honor because through my stretch marks came my beautiful children that I have, my three beautiful children, my two adults, and I like you had a child older in life as well.
9:52
Carmen Hecox: I have a 10 year old.
9:54
Carmen Hecox: And so, I wear them with pride At least my stretch marks to me.
9:58
Carmen Hecox: they represent my children.
9:59
Carmen Hecox: My, crow's feet or laugh lines, whatever they may be.
10:03
Carmen Hecox: Just show that, I'm a little wiser than my 21 year old self.
10:12
Carmen Hecox: It just shows that I have experience.
10:15
Jack Perez: Exactly.
10:17
Jack Perez: Exactly.
10:17
Jack Perez: It shows that we are using what we have, right?
10:22
Jack Perez: I don't wanna end up at the end of life, pristine, nothing broken, nothing used.
10:27
Jack Perez: I wanna use it all up.
10:30
Jack Perez: I, by the time I get to the end, I don't want much of me left, to be honest with you.
10:35
Jack Perez: I wanna have spent it.
10:37
Jack Perez: I wanna spend my life.
10:38
Jack Perez: I don't wanna sit and save it or waste it.
10:41
Jack Perez: I wanna spend it.
10:42
Carmen Hecox: And let's add here that.
10:45
Carmen Hecox: You're a third degree black belt.
10:47
Carmen Hecox: Is that correct?
10:49
Jack Perez: That is correct.
10:49
Jack Perez: I am a third degree black belt in TaeKwonDo, which is a Korean martial arts form, and I started that journey in my forties, which just goes to show that.
11:03
Jack Perez: It is never too late to begin a new journey and to challenge yourself.
11:10
Jack Perez: I, I knew a lot of women my age in martial arts at that time, and we, we dominated, we were so good because we also had the patience and the wisdom to know that something like that isn't learned in a day.
11:26
Jack Perez: It's not mastered in a year.
11:28
Jack Perez: It takes thousands of hours, thousands of hours to master anything.
11:34
Jack Perez: And I know that when I was younger, I was a little less patient with myself and a, I demanded a lot more from me as far as like, hurry up, hurry up.
11:45
Jack Perez: But now I understand that perfection doesn't exist.
11:49
Jack Perez: Mastering something takes a really, really long time, and I'm still not a master.
11:57
Jack Perez: I'm not a master.
12:01
Carmen Hecox: Let's go back to when menopause did hit you.
12:05
Carmen Hecox: How did you know it hit you?
12:06
Carmen Hecox: What was going on in your mind and your body at the time that gave you the passion that you needed to do something about it?
12:16
Jack Perez: So I wish I could tell you that, you know, there was a, a date, a time, a particular acute event, but sadly that's not how menopause affected me.
12:30
Jack Perez: It was.
12:31
Jack Perez: Very quiet.
12:34
Jack Perez: It was a quiet, gradual dismantling almost of my person, meaning I gained 30 pounds, but I didn't gain them in a day.
12:46
Jack Perez: I gained them kind of creepily over.
12:50
Jack Perez: Couple of years, right?
12:51
Jack Perez: So it's like, wow, I'm a, I'm a couple pounds heavier.
12:54
Jack Perez: Okay, well that's okay, you know, but then all of a sudden I'm 30 pounds heavier.
12:59
Jack Perez: Right?
13:00
Jack Perez: The other thing that happened in this also wasn't something that one day I woke up with anxiety, brain fog, dysregulation of emotion.
13:11
Jack Perez: I couldn't hold it together, Carmen, I couldn't.
13:15
Jack Perez: Of course there were the obvious symptoms, like the hot flashes, the insomnia.
13:21
Jack Perez: But honestly, a lot of it was sort of, it was like a specter.
13:27
Jack Perez: You know what I mean?
13:28
Jack Perez: It was not in my face as one thing.
13:31
Jack Perez: It was just sort of this general malaise that kept making me feel worse and worse and worse and less and less like myself.
13:44
Jack Perez: And I got so low and then it hit me.
13:48
Jack Perez: I'm like, what am I gonna do?
13:49
Jack Perez: I can't live like this.
13:52
Jack Perez: I cannot spend the next 30 or 40 years of my life dealing with these symptoms.
13:59
Jack Perez: There has to be a solution.
14:04
Jack Perez: I mean so many women that the stats are incredible about the number of women who are leaving the workforce, Carmen, because they're misconstruing these quote unquote normal signs of menopause that are transitory, by the way, as permanent early onset dementia or Alzheimer's.
14:26
Jack Perez: And so they're leaving the workforce in droves.
14:30
Jack Perez: Over something that can be managed and fixed.
14:34
Jack Perez: If you ask me, I, I managed to fix it.
14:36
Jack Perez: I don't have those 30 pounds anymore.
14:39
Jack Perez: I can regulate my emotions.
14:41
Jack Perez: I wake up my old happy self again.
14:43
Jack Perez: Why I chose to do something about it, and, and I wanted to serve other women because it hit me.
14:50
Jack Perez: I'm like, I'm a, I'm a pretty disciplined individual, Carmen and I, I got a lot of tenacity and I have a lot of drive and so.
14:58
Jack Perez: I was able to, even at the deaths of despair, say, there's gotta be a solution.
15:03
Jack Perez: There's gotta be a solution.
15:04
Jack Perez: I, I've gotta figure this out.
15:06
Jack Perez: But once I, I got myself out of it.
15:08
Jack Perez: I looked backward and I said, well, what if, what if there are women out there who, for whatever reason, just don't have, that?
15:15
Jack Perez: That's not part of who they are, and now they're stuck.
15:20
Jack Perez: And they think they're alone, they're isolated.
15:22
Jack Perez: They don't know where to go for help.
15:24
Jack Perez: They don't know that what they're feeling is normal.
15:27
Jack Perez: And when I say normal, I mean statistically normal.
15:31
Jack Perez: Meaning if you put all the data on a curve, you get this like curve, it's called a population sample, and that's 70% in there is like where the bulk of the individuals lie, and almost everything that we experience, I mean, I'm not saying everything, but most of what we experience during this time, other women are experiencing it too.
15:56
Jack Perez: Why not learn from each other?
15:57
Jack Perez: Why not share with one another?
16:01
Jack Perez: What's going on for us?
16:02
Jack Perez: How we're solving it?
16:04
Jack Perez: Other potential solutions?
16:07
Jack Perez: Why?
16:07
Jack Perez: Why not?
16:08
Jack Perez: Why allow women to continue to be in the dark about these transitions when we don't have to?
16:15
Carmen Hecox: Exactly cuz I think that a lot of women, or at least in my case, how I sort of started to feel lost.
16:23
Carmen Hecox: And then I started to feel like I was developing invisible woman syndrome.
16:27
Carmen Hecox: Like I was so slowly disappearing or kind of just fading away and I'm like, what is wrong with me?
16:35
Carmen Hecox: It's got to be me.
16:37
Carmen Hecox: Because nobody else, my circumstance has not changed.
16:41
Carmen Hecox: What's going on?
16:43
Carmen Hecox: And so, what gave you the power per se, to dust yourself off and go out and search for an answer?
16:52
Carmen Hecox: And even when perhaps maybe doors were shut and they were like, it's normal, Jack, you're just going through menopause.
16:59
Jack Perez: Yeah, listen, if I knew what that trigger was that turned me from victim to action mode, I'd flip and bottle it and sell it on Amazon and never, ever, ever have to work a day in my life again.
17:18
Jack Perez: I don't know what it was, Carmen.
17:20
Jack Perez: I, I don't know.
17:21
Jack Perez: I just know that I reached the end of the rope of what was happening to me at that time, and I had gone to, um, a variety of doctors looking for answers.
17:34
Jack Perez: Didn't get the answers that I was looking for though.
17:36
Jack Perez: I got a lot of get over yourself.
17:38
Jack Perez: You're, this is just normal.
17:39
Jack Perez: You'll just get used to this new weight.
17:41
Jack Perez: You'll just get used to this new brain fog.
17:43
Jack Perez: You'll just get used to this dysregulation of emotions.
17:47
Jack Perez: I'm like you know I'm not interested in living my life that way, not interested.
17:53
Jack Perez: And so, I kept searching and searching until I found a part of the medical community that is focused on women's health in particular, after we are done procreating, most of the medical community and most of the medical care for women is all about OB G Y N, making babies.
18:15
Jack Perez: Okay?
18:15
Jack Perez: That's an important function in a woman's life.
18:18
Jack Perez: I'm not telling you it's not.
18:20
Jack Perez: We are still worthwhile and we are still worth caring for.
18:24
Jack Perez: Once we are done making babies and now we're just living on the planet, but we're giving back, we're adding value.
18:31
Jack Perez: We're leading people, we're making sea changes.
18:34
Jack Perez: We're powerful and we should have the medical health community paying attention to what our needs are now because they're very different.
18:44
Jack Perez: They're very different.
18:45
Jack Perez: It's almost like we're two different species, right?
18:48
Jack Perez: The, the procreating woman and the non-procreating woman, we have very different requirements.
18:56
Carmen Hecox: And so, when you found the, the right place for you, what type of treatment are they providing for you?
19:05
Jack Perez: I am on what's called bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
19:10
Jack Perez: It's a lot of words, and they're big words, right?
19:12
Jack Perez: I mean, it's crazy, but what it means is that I go once a quarter every three months, every three and a half months, once, once a quarter, basically, and they insert these pellets in, in my subcutaneous fat, I guess in my flank, in the sort of in my backside.
19:32
Jack Perez: And it's a combination of estrogen and testosterone.
19:38
Jack Perez: And then I orally take progesterone because they're all three important, at least for me my blood work, I mean, I had a bunch of blood work.
19:46
Jack Perez: I thought my doctor was of vampire for a moment.
19:48
Jack Perez: like, how many vials of blood do you absolutely need to figure out what's wrong with me?
19:55
Jack Perez: But I have to tell you, I have been on them now for.
19:59
Jack Perez: Four years, within the first two years, the 30 pounds disappeared.
20:04
Jack Perez: I didn't change my behavior.
20:06
Jack Perez: I was still doing exactly the same thing.
20:08
Jack Perez: My muscle mass is significantly bigger because of the testosterone.
20:15
Jack Perez: Testosterone has fundamentally changed my life in a way that I don't know what you would have to tell me or what proof you would have to give me, for me to tell you, you can take it away from me.
20:28
Jack Perez: Because no one's taking these away from me.
20:31
Jack Perez: It has turned me into a highly functional, active, fun-loving person who's alive in the world.
20:39
Jack Perez: I have no desire to go back to that other person.
20:42
Jack Perez: I have no desire to go back to her, and if they come and tell me that I'm shortening my life by 10 years okay.
20:50
Jack Perez: Because those, years aren't worth living to me if I'm not living.
20:54
Jack Perez: You know what I mean?
20:54
Jack Perez: I'm not using it, if I'm not spending it, then I, I don't want it.
20:59
Carmen Hecox: And when did you notice the brain fog dissipate?
21:02
Jack Perez: Everything was, it was a gradual coming back, right?
21:06
Jack Perez: It wasn't like I went to the doctor, I got the procedure, and then I woke up and everything was fine.
21:13
Jack Perez: That didn't happen.
21:16
Jack Perez: It was interesting because it's, it was almost as imperceptible.
21:20
Jack Perez: The getting better was almost as imperceptible as what happened to get me to that point where I was desperately looking for information.
21:29
Jack Perez: Everybody knows the story or the, anecdote or the tail about the frog in the water, right?
21:34
Jack Perez: You put a frog in a pot of water and you slowly turn up the heat and you literally cook that frog.
21:41
Jack Perez: But if you throw the frog into the water that's already boiling, the frog's gonna jump out because the frog's like, what the f.
21:48
Jack Perez: But menopause and then the return from menopause was more like the gradual turning up of the heat or the gradual turning down the heat.
21:59
Jack Perez: I did remember noticing that I slept well.
22:01
Jack Perez: Almost immediately better, like my sleep got affected.
22:05
Jack Perez: I think that was like one of the first things that was improved, which I was very grateful for because anyone out there who's struggling with sleep, and I think most of us are, most menopausal women, have trouble sleeping.
22:19
Jack Perez: You know how crazy I can make you?
22:21
Carmen Hecox: mmm, Well you're tired, you're sluggish, and you're kind of cranky cuz you know you're not rested.
22:27
Jack Perez: And it hurts your brain.
22:29
Jack Perez: It actually hurts your brain.
22:31
Jack Perez: Our brain health requires us to be able to sleep well.
22:37
Carmen Hecox: Do they check your blood?
22:38
Carmen Hecox: How often do they check your blood as you're using, these hormones?
22:44
Jack Perez: Every year I get a full panel, and then if I feel something different, in between the annuals, she will pull blood just to make sure it's a very actively managed process.
22:59
Jack Perez: I feel very confident in my decision.
23:01
Jack Perez: Now, I'm also gonna tell you as a caveat, I know it's not the answer for everyone.
23:07
Jack Perez: I know when I understand that, and I'm not telling you or telling your audience that every woman should run out and get this, that this is the solution.
23:17
Jack Perez: It happens to be my solution, and that is all I can say about it.
23:22
Jack Perez: It works for me.
23:24
Jack Perez: Yeah,
23:25
Carmen Hecox: I know that, when they talk about hormone therapy, is this a more natural type of hormone therapy or is this just your regular, traditional hormone therapy?
23:34
Jack Perez: This is bioidentical, it's compounded, but it is compounded in the lab.
23:41
Jack Perez: It's not a holistic or natural supplement.
23:44
Jack Perez: This isn't turmeric or cumin or black pepper.
23:48
Jack Perez: This is medicine.
23:50
Jack Perez: This is pharmaceuticals, and I'm not a huge fan of pharmaceuticals in general, but, you know there's a reason science exists and we have managed, to advance the field of science and understanding how to help ourselves.
24:07
Jack Perez: So I'm open to Western medicine when, when it serves me.
24:12
Jack Perez: I, I'm open to all forms of medicine when it serves me.
24:16
Carmen Hecox: Mm-hmm.
24:17
Carmen Hecox: Yeah and it's given you your life back, as you stated, perhaps even a better life than you had before.
24:24
Jack Perez: Well, yes, cuz now I have all that wisdom and I give no Fs and so, right.
24:29
Jack Perez: Yeah.
24:30
Jack Perez: So kind of now I'm unstoppable.
24:31
Jack Perez: It's kind of, it's kind of, it's kinda crazy, but I definitely feel way better about me now than I did even 10 years ago.
24:43
Carmen Hecox: And I know we talked about this one part that you have done to help you is you've gone to the doctors to get help, but what about, how women should dress when they're older.
24:57
Carmen Hecox: What's your view toward that?
25:00
Jack Perez: Well, this is why I built Kuel Life, Carmen.
25:03
Jack Perez: So I, I have a digital platform that I created where I provide information for women on the various and sundries opportunities and challenges in this, in this time of life and fashion, skincare, makeup, application.
25:22
Jack Perez: All of those are, they change with time and with age.
25:27
Jack Perez: We need different things.
25:29
Jack Perez: If we used to apply makeup, at least I did when I was in high school, I would apply makeup with the goal to look older.
25:39
Jack Perez: I wanted to get into a bar.
25:41
Jack Perez: I didn't wanna get carded.
25:42
Jack Perez: I wanted to attract older boys, college boys.
25:45
Jack Perez: Well, I, I wanted to look older, so I applied makeup in a way to make myself look more dramatic, to make myself look more sophisticated.
25:54
Jack Perez: Apply the makeup now that way you're just gonna look older and we don't wanna do that.
26:00
Jack Perez: So to answer your question about what are my beliefs on fashion, and I, I'm not an expert, but I went out and found thought leaders from all over the world who are experts.
26:15
Jack Perez: Who are thought leaders, who are fashion designers.
26:18
Jack Perez: One of our thought leaders literally dressed Serena Williams and Tina Fey.
26:23
Jack Perez: I mean, these are, these are women who have some pretty serious credentials.
26:29
Jack Perez: They are bringing their wisdom, their tips, their tricks, their hacks to women in midlife and beyond.
26:36
Jack Perez: And they're bringing it, you know, via their own platforms, via their own social medias, via their own.
26:42
Jack Perez: Uh, clients, but they're also providing it through Kuel Life as a way to bring all things, or as many things that are relevant to us in one concentrated platform so that it's not, it's clear to women where to go for information.
27:01
Jack Perez: And we have several thought leaders that write about fashion and beauty and skincare and makeup and all sorts of things like that.
27:09
Jack Perez: And, and what I think personally, I think you wear whatever you wanna wear as long as you feel good in it, and it makes you walk tall with shoulders back and head held, eye and chest out.
27:24
Jack Perez: I don't care if it's a miniskirt, you're wearing a miniskirt, wear it.
27:27
Jack Perez: But then you gotta own it.
27:29
Jack Perez: As long as you're comfortable, you can wear whatever you want.
27:32
Carmen Hecox: Yeah, and I think another thing is that, Let's say for example, I do see a woman that is my age and she is wearing a mini skirt.
27:39
Carmen Hecox: Just because I don't wear a mini skirt, I should say rock on and not say, oh my God, look at her.
27:50
Jack Perez: Correct, I think that there has been incentive for women to be divisive in the past.
28:01
Jack Perez: When I was in corporate America in the nineties, I would look at the room, you know, the room where it happens, so to speak, you know, to quote Hamilton, and I knew that, that those chairs around that table were all filled by men.
28:15
Jack Perez: And maybe there was one chair in there, one chair in their first skirt.
28:20
Jack Perez: Well, if it was gonna be your skirt, you couldn't really be nice and collaborative.
28:24
Jack Perez: You had to kinda you know, I mean, we were incentivized to be competitive and to be petty and to be mean.
28:31
Jack Perez: And here's the best part of being older.
28:33
Jack Perez: Don't have to do that anymore.
28:35
Jack Perez: Don't have to do that.
28:36
Jack Perez: I do not have to dress you down to feel better about myself.
28:41
Jack Perez: You wear a mini skirt, I would say to you, rock on sister, more powered to you.
28:48
Jack Perez: And then I would say, huh?
28:50
Jack Perez: Can I, can I try it on?
28:51
Jack Perez: Does it look good on me?
28:53
Jack Perez: Cause at the end of the day, I'm still a girl.
28:55
Jack Perez: But yeah, I would, I would not say, look at her, or why is she wearing that?
28:59
Jack Perez: Or what is she trying to prove?
29:01
Jack Perez: No, cause ladies, if we stop being divisive, if we empower each other, we're unstoppable because there's so many of us.
29:13
Jack Perez: Keeping us divided is, is a tactic to keep us down, to keep our voices from being heard.
29:20
Carmen Hecox: Exactly, and I know that, at least for me, it takes a lot of courage for me to stand out there.
29:27
Carmen Hecox: To take that risk, to do something that, it's not my norm.
29:32
Carmen Hecox: And if someone criticizes, you know, you should have done this, or you should have done that, or, you know, you really shouldn't have done that.
29:39
Carmen Hecox: And it, it seems like it almost takes so much more for me to try again because it's hard to come back and take risks.
29:50
Jack Perez: Right.
29:50
Jack Perez: I agree.
29:51
Jack Perez: And you know, sometimes like I'll do something and you know, it probably needs some critiquing.
29:58
Jack Perez: It probably could be better or different.
30:00
Jack Perez: I probably, you know, should look at doing something, maybe tweaking it in some way, shape or form.
30:06
Jack Perez: And I'm open to that.
30:08
Jack Perez: I'm open to someone that I respect who's in the arena getting her a s s kicked as well, though, if you're not in it and you're not getting your ass kick, please don't bother to critique my performance
30:19
Carmen Hecox: Amen.
30:20
Jack Perez: If you're up in the nosebleed stands with popcorn and a beer in your hand.
30:24
Jack Perez: Your opinion is not welcomed, but I do appreciate leading to the positive.
30:31
Jack Perez: Like, look how brave you were to do that, and what a creative idea that was.
30:35
Jack Perez: Are you open to some ideas of how to make that better in the future?
30:39
Jack Perez: What a different way to approach and what a different response you would get and maybe then Carmen, you wouldn't feel uncomfortable trying again.
30:51
Jack Perez: You'd actually feel even braver because you'd feel like you were fortified with some added extra ideas of how to tweak it and improve it.
31:01
Jack Perez: Very different, right?
31:02
Jack Perez: Very different outcome.
31:03
Carmen Hecox: Exactly.
31:04
Carmen Hecox: Sounds like you're quoting a little bit of Brene Brown there.
31:07
Jack Perez: Yes.
31:07
Jack Perez: But she quoted it from somebody
31:10
Carmen Hecox: Yes.
31:10
Carmen Hecox: Theodore Roosevelt.
31:12
Jack Perez: Yeah, it came, it actually came from a president, but yeah.
31:17
Carmen Hecox: Yeah and that's something I always tell my husband is I say, I say, you know what?
31:21
Carmen Hecox: Doing some of the things that I do are risky.
31:26
Carmen Hecox: They're not things that I would normally do.
31:29
Carmen Hecox: But this year I've decided to be different.
31:33
Carmen Hecox: I've decided to take risks and I don't care what people say, or at least that's what I'm telling myself every day.
31:41
Carmen Hecox: I don't care what people say in, all reality I care what you say because you're in the arena with me.
31:49
Carmen Hecox: But if a man says something, nasty.
31:53
Carmen Hecox: Or someone who is perhaps 10 years younger than me says something nasty.
31:59
Carmen Hecox: I don't care.
32:00
Carmen Hecox: I'm like a duck.
32:01
Carmen Hecox: It's just water off my feathers.
32:04
Carmen Hecox: I don't care
32:05
Jack Perez: Right,
32:06
Carmen Hecox: because you are not in here with me.
32:10
Carmen Hecox: You're not taking the risks that I'm taking.
32:13
Carmen Hecox: You know, I'm trying to become a better version of myself because I feel like I owe that to the women that are in the arena with me that are scared to take that step.
32:29
Carmen Hecox: And I believe in leading by example.
32:32
Jack Perez: Honestly, that is the only way to really lead any other way.
32:37
Jack Perez: It's you're managing or you're dictating, you're not, you're not leading.
32:43
Carmen Hecox: I know that you had said that, you decided to leave corporate America, and I think that maybe, perhaps it's because you recognized that you had so much more to give and you sort of felt like, and please correct me if I'm wrong, you felt kind of boxed in, like you were limited because the role you had, this is the role you had and you were limited to just that role, but you had so much more.
33:10
Carmen Hecox: That the only way to be able to serve people at a greater level to your full potential with your full experience was to go on your own.
33:23
Jack Perez: Yeah.
33:24
Carmen Hecox: To call your own shots.
33:26
Jack Perez: Yeah.
33:27
Jack Perez: It didn't help that I didn't want my boss's job, and I didn't want his job, like his boss's job, and I looked up the chain.
33:35
Jack Perez: I'm like, I don't want any of those jobs.
33:38
Jack Perez: I think I need to go.
33:41
Jack Perez: So, yes.
33:42
Jack Perez: I needed to be a lot closer.
33:44
Jack Perez: As I said earlier, I needed to have my action, the reaction to it, or the response or the culmination of it.
33:54
Jack Perez: I needed to see that quicker.
33:55
Jack Perez: I needed to have more direct impact.
33:59
Jack Perez: That's just how I'm wired.
34:01
Carmen Hecox: And so in this, platform that you've built, Kuel Life, you've allowed other women that have all these amazing talents and they are, curated for women that are in the trenches and providing guidance for others.
34:21
Carmen Hecox: I think that's an amazing platform.
34:24
Jack Perez: Thank you.
34:25
Jack Perez: Thank you.
34:26
Jack Perez: Um, it's been, it's been fun creating it and it's been fun living with it.
34:35
Jack Perez: And meaning like when I, when I opened it up, you know, when I did the soft launch, when I said, okay, the, the website is quote, live now.
34:44
Jack Perez: I had no social media presence.
34:46
Jack Perez: I had no one writing on the platform but you'res truly.
34:51
Jack Perez: So, you know, the information was coming whenever I could do enough research to get something done and post it and whatnot.
34:58
Jack Perez: But I focused on finding the resources globally.
35:03
Jack Perez: I focused on researching and looking for the women just to keep with the theater Roosevelt theme that were going on, that were in the arena before me, by the way, in this arena.
35:16
Jack Perez: Already in there, you know, fighting the lion right in the middle of it.
35:22
Jack Perez: And I was, I reached out to any and all of those women that I could find, let them know what I wanted to do.
35:30
Jack Perez: And almost every single one, I mean, there were a couple that said, Hmm, I'm not sure that's for me.
35:38
Jack Perez: You know, I totally get that.
35:41
Jack Perez: But mostly everyone else said yes to me.
35:46
Jack Perez: If I fast forward now, we're five.
35:49
Jack Perez: The platform is five years old.
35:52
Jack Perez: There are over 65 women from around the world, and I mean we have women from New Zealand, Australia, Austria, Spain, Canada, all over the US that are contributing monthly on topics.
36:11
Jack Perez: Like the fashion that we talked about, but also topics about, say divorce.
36:16
Jack Perez: Most divorces are initiated by women after 50.
36:19
Jack Perez: So we have women talking about divorce, how to navigate that.
36:21
Jack Perez: We have women talking about dating.
36:24
Jack Perez: Okay, so how do you start dating?
36:27
Jack Perez: How do you date with a dry vagina?
36:30
Jack Perez: These are all topics, right?
36:31
Jack Perez: I mean, you giggle, but these are things that are important to us that I believed weren't being addressed.
36:39
Jack Perez: At least they weren't being addressed in a way that I could find them.
36:42
Jack Perez: Uh, and they weren't being addressed in a way that I could take action from the information and they weren't being addressed, in my opinion, in an empowering and kind way.
36:53
Jack Perez: So my mission with Kuel Life is to address those three concerns, to to provide the information, to provide it in an actionable way and to make sure it's empowering and kind.
37:04
Jack Perez: Rather than pushing an agenda of anti-aging or avoid aging, which is the primary message that women get at this stage of life.
37:16
Carmen Hecox: And I think that, pop culture doesn't make it any easier.
37:21
Jack Perez: Nope.
37:22
Jack Perez: Yep.
37:23
Carmen Hecox: I think your platform is awesome because it's a one-stop shop.
37:27
Carmen Hecox: Because I know that sometimes I'm researching something, and I always call it a rabbit hole because I just dive, dive, dive, dive, dive, and it's just at the end of the day, I'm like, well, what was I researching?
37:40
Carmen Hecox: Because I didn't find the answer,
37:43
Jack Perez: Right.
37:44
Carmen Hecox: Or find the answer that was catered to the information I wanted.
37:51
Carmen Hecox: Maybe coming from a woman's perspective.
37:53
Carmen Hecox: Someone who's been there, done that.
37:55
Carmen Hecox: Has already done all her research, and now is sharing her shortcut to the answer.
38:03
Jack Perez: Right and what's great about the women, the Kuel Life thought leaders, most of them are also work in the industry, whatever that industry is.
38:13
Jack Perez: They're either, um, they have clients that they're helping with their adult children.
38:18
Jack Perez: So I've got several women who talk about parenting adult children.
38:22
Jack Perez: It's huge.
38:23
Jack Perez: That decade my son is about to be 21 and, that first year of his twenties near about killed me.
38:30
Jack Perez: And so I got nine more to go.
38:33
Jack Perez: I use the advice.
38:35
Jack Perez: And the tips and the wisdom that these women write about on how to navigate parenting adult children.
38:42
Jack Perez: What's great about the site is that if one of the women help you, one of the articles help you and they res it, resonates with you and, and you've been able to take action and, and help yourself, but you want more, you can reach out to them because most of them are coaches and so they can provide even more information and more help directly to a Kuel Life community member.
39:07
Jack Perez: And so we've done a lot of the heavy lifting for you, meaning we've curated, we have found the resources, we're providing the information.
39:16
Jack Perez: Take it, use it, run with it.
39:19
Jack Perez: Improve your life.
39:20
Carmen Hecox: So Jackie, tell me for anyone who's listening to this episode, either listening to it or watching it on YouTube.
39:26
Carmen Hecox: If they are an expert in some of the topics that we talked about, how could they become a member of Kuel Life?
39:36
Jack Perez: Reach out to me, you know, send me, drop me an email, you know, drop me a line, DM me on Instagram or Kuel, or on Facebook, whatever.
39:44
Jack Perez: Um, and I can send you a, I can send you information.
39:49
Jack Perez: Here's the deal, my table is long and there's always room for another chair, for another woman to be seated at that table with us.
39:59
Jack Perez: So I encourage, because yes, I built Kuel Life.
40:03
Jack Perez: It's mine, I, I built it, but it really belongs to the 66 women out there who are contributing regularly and also all the women driven brands.
40:15
Jack Perez: So if any of your listeners.
40:18
Jack Perez: Have products like they're an entrepreneur and they're selling something, jewelry, clothing, candles, soap, whatever, and they want to reach a larger audience of midlife women and beyond, and they wanna be part of this sea change of normalizing aging and empowering women.
40:37
Jack Perez: Have them reach out to me too, because there's room.
40:39
Jack Perez: There's room on Kuel Life for you as well.
40:41
Carmen Hecox: What if you are not an expert, but you're alone traveling through this dreary midlife.
40:48
Jack Perez: Well, I really hope that the articles, the insight, the wisdom, the tips and advice, knowing that other women are going through what you are going through, I'm hoping that that helps alleviate a little bit of the despair of the isolation of the loneliness.
41:07
Jack Perez: But I have to say, Carmen, isolation, loneliness is a far greater risk to our longevity and our health than BMI or smoking a pack of cigarettes.
41:20
Jack Perez: And so, Kuel life isn't gonna solve that problem.
41:24
Jack Perez: It isn't.
41:26
Jack Perez: I mean, it'll help you find resources.
41:29
Jack Perez: It'll help you realize that what you're going through isn't abnormal or crazy or never experienced before.
41:37
Jack Perez: It'll help you potentially come up with some hacks and tips, but isolation and loneliness being heard, you gotta get out there.
41:50
Jack Perez: And you can find connections.
41:52
Jack Perez: If you're, if you can't get out of your house, you can still find real connections through social media.
41:59
Jack Perez: It's just a tool.
42:00
Jack Perez: I know it's used poorly by many, and it's getting a lot of publicity about how poorly it's being used, but I used it for good.
42:10
Jack Perez: I use social media to find the 65 women from around the world who are now contributing positively.
42:19
Jack Perez: To the mission of normalizing aging and how I found them was through that tool.
42:24
Jack Perez: You can find real life, real connections through that tool.
42:30
Jack Perez: So Kuel Life doesn't solve that problem, but it does give you resources.
42:35
Carmen Hecox: Yeah, so if someone is feeling isolated, they can still go to Kuel Life and read the resources that are there and maybe get inspired?
42:42
Jack Perez: Yes, and if one of the women inspires you, go to the about page, get to their bio, reach out to them, they'll wanna hear from you.
42:49
Carmen Hecox: Well, thank you so much for sharing all of your information.
42:54
Carmen Hecox: just real quickly, oh no, I wanted to ask you any future projects that you're currently working on?
43:03
Jack Perez: Future projects.
43:03
Jack Perez: Oh my goodness.
43:04
Jack Perez: Um, always, there's always something in the hopper.
43:08
Jack Perez: Right now, I am focused on traveling.
43:12
Jack Perez: I have a goal to get to 60 countries before I turn 60.
43:18
Jack Perez: I have three more to go before I get to 60, and then I have.
43:22
Jack Perez: A different goal.
43:23
Jack Perez: I'm gonna get to 65 countries by the time I'm 65.
43:26
Jack Perez: I'm a little less worried about that cause I got some space to, to figure that out.
43:29
Jack Perez: But yeah, I've been really pushing the solo traveling and I'm loving it.
43:34
Jack Perez: So I'm really focused on that right now.
43:37
Carmen Hecox: Perfect.
43:37
Carmen Hecox: So, where can people find you?
43:42
Jack Perez: Kuel Life.
43:43
Jack Perez: K U E L.
43:45
Jack Perez: Yeah, I know that's a weird spelling, but C o o l, that's just a regular word that it's an adjective.
43:52
Jack Perez: Couldn't really use that.
43:53
Jack Perez: It's not really trademark.
43:55
Jack Perez: And I found a synonym for C O O L on Urban Dictionary and it was spelled K U E L and I thought, what a great word.
44:04
Jack Perez: So I took it so you can find me on Kuel Life.
44:07
Jack Perez: That's K U E L Life.
44:09
Jack Perez: And you can reach out to me there.
44:11
Jack Perez: I'm on all the socials, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, you name it, I'm there.
44:17
Jack Perez: So just reach out.
44:19
Jack Perez: I'm easy to find.
44:20
Carmen Hecox: Perfect.
44:21
Carmen Hecox: All right.
44:21
Carmen Hecox: And I will make sure to include all your links on my website so that if people were unable to write it down, they can find all of your information there.
44:31
Carmen Hecox: Thank you so much I look forward to being connected with you on Kuel Life.
44:35
Jack Perez: Carmen, it's a pleasure.
44:36
Jack Perez: Thank you so much for hosting me today.
44:38
Carmen Hecox: What an episode.
44:39
Carmen Hecox: Jack is such an amazing leader.
44:42
Carmen Hecox: I don't know about you, but I'm feeling inspired to check out Jack's website again.
44:49
Carmen Hecox: That website is Kuel Kuellife life com, so that's KuelLife.com.
44:59
Carmen Hecox: If you're a female leader, entrepreneur, or sell products exclusively for women in midlife and would like to be part of the Kuel Life community, I encourage you to connect with Jack.
45:11
Carmen Hecox: You can find all her information on my website.
45:15
Carmen Hecox: Create the best me.com/ep 0 2 4.
45:21
Carmen Hecox: If you're a woman who's going through midlife and needs inspiration, I bet you'll find it at Kuel Life.
45:28
Carmen Hecox: Again, I want to thank Jack Perez of Kuel Life for sharing her inspiration and her community with us.
45:36
Carmen Hecox: If this episode resonated with you, please hit subscribe to stay updated.
45:41
Carmen Hecox: Join me next week as we'll dive into the topic of health changes during midlife.
45:48
Carmen Hecox: You don't wanna miss that episode.
45:50
Carmen Hecox: Until next time, keep dreaming big take care of yourself.
45:55
Carmen Hecox: And remember, you are beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself.
46:02
Carmen Hecox: Thank you for watching.
46:04
Carmen Hecox: Catch you next week.
46:05
Carmen Hecox: Bye for now.