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Two Doting Dads Talk Spoiled Kids, Valuing Values & More! · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello.
0:01
Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr the
0:05
Speaker 2: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
0:08
Speaker 2: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
0:11
Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
0:14
Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
0:18
Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.
0:23
Speaker 2: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
0:27
Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
0:31
Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
0:33
Speaker 3: Let's get into it.
0:34
Speaker 4: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
0:58
Speaker 5: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
1:01
Speaker 5: Millennials who Want Financial Freedom. My name is Jessica Ricky
1:05
Speaker 5: and as always I have the wonderful Beck Sayer joining
1:07
Speaker 5: me today because it is Friday, and today we are
1:10
Speaker 5: going to celebrate you, the incredible She's on the Money community.
1:14
Speaker 5: Today we'll be sharing some of our favorite money wins.
1:16
Speaker 5: We'll be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which
1:18
Speaker 5: this week is all about where the pocket money is
1:20
Speaker 5: a good idea for kids, And we're going to unpack
1:22
Speaker 5: something that you slid into our DMS, about which this
1:25
Speaker 5: week is all about managing gift giving expectations with your nieces.
1:30
Speaker 2: Yeah.
1:30
Speaker 1: Beck, Yes, the vibe in the room's different.
1:33
Speaker 3: It is.
1:33
Speaker 1: It feels like there's again. I think I'm seeing double
1:37
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Tell me what. I'm also extremely drunk.
1:41
Speaker 6: But.
1:44
Speaker 3: Maybe we all are.
1:48
Speaker 1: Maddie, Jay and Ashwicks welcome individually or both many things,
1:52
Speaker 1: but together you make two doting dads. Thank you so
1:54
Speaker 1: much for joining us. Tell us a little bit more
1:56
Speaker 1: about the pod.
1:57
Speaker 6: Well, I just want to stop you right there, thank
1:59
Speaker 6: you for having me. And before you start thanking.
2:01
Speaker 3: Us, I am many things. I would hold.
2:04
Speaker 6: Off giving us any type of applause until the end
2:07
Speaker 6: of the episode because.
2:09
Speaker 3: I don't know. We're not very not very very dumb.
2:13
Speaker 6: Appropriate work just to manage everyone's expectations.
2:17
Speaker 3: I don't know where I am. I got lost.
2:21
Speaker 7: I was walking on the street and someone was like,
2:22
Speaker 7: through this door, sir, and here I'm sitting down here
2:24
Speaker 7: and now I'm talking to Yeah.
2:25
Speaker 1: We actually weren't meant to be talking to you guys,
2:27
Speaker 1: So thanks so much for coming back the studio.
2:31
Speaker 3: That's fine.
2:31
Speaker 7: Two doting dads is a podcast about the trials and
2:35
Speaker 7: tribulations of parenting.
2:36
Speaker 3: It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. Yeah, it's
2:39
Speaker 3: not meant to be.
2:40
Speaker 6: Well, the last thing you wanted to do was offer
2:42
Speaker 6: any type of advice, because I think there's enough people
2:46
Speaker 6: out there trying to offer advice to parents, and I
2:49
Speaker 6: think every kid is so different that I think the
2:53
Speaker 6: point the parents really need is just to know that
2:56
Speaker 6: there's others out there who were struggling just as much
3:01
Speaker 6: as they are.
3:03
Speaker 3: Shed pain. I think, yeah, we wanted to.
3:05
Speaker 7: Create an environment where everyone's just doing the best they can.
3:09
Speaker 6: It's a safe, safe place. I think the most common
3:11
Speaker 6: bit of feedback we get is that it's just refreshing
3:13
Speaker 6: to hear other parents struggling.
3:15
Speaker 3: Have a shit time. It's a bit ship it is.
3:18
Speaker 3: But also we love our kids, yeah so much.
3:21
Speaker 1: He really summed up my thoughts on children in general.
3:23
Speaker 7: Is we always say they're like owning drunk people. That's
3:27
Speaker 7: like our that's irrational. They love you sometimes and then
3:32
Speaker 7: they just lose it for no reason.
3:34
Speaker 1: That's fun. You're really selling it. Can a non dad listen, but.
3:39
Speaker 3: Absolutely we actually know.
3:41
Speaker 6: We thought we'd be a really blokey podcast and then
3:45
Speaker 6: we ended up having more like we're more mums. Yeah,
3:48
Speaker 6: and I think we're lucky in that.
3:50
Speaker 8: Men.
3:52
Speaker 3: The bar is so low.
3:55
Speaker 7: Agreed, agreed, and so well listen, all collectively agree.
4:00
Speaker 6: We can talk about us stuff ups with just like
4:03
Speaker 6: a total lack of fear of judgment.
4:05
Speaker 7: Because they're all stuff ups. Yeah, not a lot, Like,
4:08
Speaker 7: there's not a lot we're doing. We're bumbling our way
4:10
Speaker 7: through most of it.
4:11
Speaker 6: As all parents, it doesn't matter how amazing you are
4:14
Speaker 6: as a parent. Every day there's some type of stuff
4:16
Speaker 6: up that you have to deal with because, as Ash said, they're.
4:18
Speaker 3: Drunk little people.
4:19
Speaker 6: Yeah, and so yeah, mums have kind of come to
4:22
Speaker 6: us and said, oh, it's just really refreshing to hear
4:25
Speaker 6: myself and my story reflected back in your content.
4:28
Speaker 3: But we have people that aren't parents that listen.
4:30
Speaker 7: Do we have a thing against pet parents, But that's
4:33
Speaker 7: a story for another day, but we do. I have
4:36
Speaker 7: met people that are like, I don't have kids, but
4:38
Speaker 7: I like listening to you. So's wrong with you?
4:41
Speaker 5: Guys?
4:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's so much house out there.
4:45
Speaker 1: Take the win where you can get them. For sure,
4:48
Speaker 1: I'm not a parent, but I am going to be
4:50
Speaker 1: a listener. From this point onward.
4:51
Speaker 7: Okay, perfect, that's one more.
4:58
Speaker 1: Okay, I feel like, let's sure I'm strange to money wins.
5:01
Speaker 5: I think so well, there's some goodies this week. So first,
5:04
Speaker 5: they've got a money win from Maggie, who said, I've
5:05
Speaker 5: been eyeing up some mid century dining tables for some time,
5:09
Speaker 5: and most of them sit around the eight hundred dollar mark.
5:12
Speaker 5: I found someone Facebook marketplace that we're in immaculate condition
5:15
Speaker 5: for one hundred bucks, hired at from Carshier for fifty
5:18
Speaker 5: bucks to collect it, and made it at total of
5:19
Speaker 5: one hundred and fifty dollars for a six to eight CE.
5:22
Speaker 5: She's put in a photo. We love a photo, lovely
5:24
Speaker 5: Facebook thread. Very mid century and I don't know if
5:28
Speaker 5: anybody else loves them in century style. But she's absolutely
5:31
Speaker 5: right that stuff is so expensive. It's absolutely insane. So
5:34
Speaker 5: well done, Maggie.
5:36
Speaker 3: Until you sit on it and it falls to pe.
5:40
Speaker 1: Couple of screws or something, it's decoration, no sitting allow.
5:43
Speaker 8: Yeah.
5:44
Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from Jamie. It's short
5:46
Speaker 5: but sweet, but she said, money win. My mortgage is
5:49
Speaker 5: going to be paid off this Friday. Oh my god,
5:52
Speaker 5: well done, Jay.
5:53
Speaker 3: Very nice, exciting flex.
5:58
Speaker 1: I'm interested to know what you're going to do with
5:59
Speaker 1: the money now to do that?
6:00
Speaker 3: Also, how old is she? When is by a first house?
6:03
Speaker 1: We're going to be a whole lod of follow up
6:04
Speaker 1: questions to get out of money.
6:06
Speaker 3: That's a very good effort. I'm happy for it, but
6:09
Speaker 3: I'm also like, a, well, I'm just going to go
6:11
Speaker 3: home and pay my rent.
6:14
Speaker 1: Seriously amazing.
6:16
Speaker 5: Next, I've got money in from Georgie who said win
6:18
Speaker 5: that I think Victoria and all of my fellow green
6:21
Speaker 5: thumbs will appreciate. I bought a plant to add some
6:23
Speaker 5: greenery to our apartment. When repotting it, I noticed it
6:26
Speaker 5: was actually three separate plans in the one pot. So
6:29
Speaker 5: now I've got three plans for the price of one.
6:32
Speaker 3: Oh, Laura, Laura would absolutely lose her mind.
6:36
Speaker 2: That.
6:36
Speaker 7: It's like when you go shopping with your toddler and
6:38
Speaker 7: you walk out and you haven't realized they've taken ship money.
6:48
Speaker 6: Usually the chocolates are the perfect don't steal that, watch
6:52
Speaker 6: don't take.
6:55
Speaker 5: Friends are great for that. Next, we've got money in
6:57
Speaker 5: from Gina who said I've got a small money in.
7:00
Speaker 5: My uber on Friday was more expensive than I was
7:02
Speaker 5: quoted because of traffic. I contested it through the app
7:05
Speaker 5: and I got a refund.
7:07
Speaker 1: Whole thing. Didn't even know you could do it.
7:10
Speaker 7: Special love to complain about Uber stuff his personality. He goes, sorry,
7:19
Speaker 7: it's actually it's actually a credit to it.
7:21
Speaker 3: Actually, can I have a money win? Can I jump
7:23
Speaker 3: in really quickly?
7:23
Speaker 1: Please?
7:24
Speaker 3: Okay?
7:25
Speaker 6: Ash is right. I do like to complain, but for
7:29
Speaker 6: the right reasons. The right reasons, like if I get
7:31
Speaker 6: the wrong order, I'll be like, hey, I didn't order that.
7:35
Speaker 3: Last night. I got some.
7:38
Speaker 6: Tie delivered right delicious and it arrived it was a
7:43
Speaker 6: salmon stir fry immediately.
7:45
Speaker 3: No, yeah, first problem.
7:49
Speaker 5: Okay, that's what you're ordering from the Thai restaurants to
7:52
Speaker 5: the rose out.
7:53
Speaker 3: Different strokes for different folks.
7:56
Speaker 6: I'm sure there's people out there who like, we need
7:59
Speaker 6: to stay strong, stay together. I took the lid off,
8:05
Speaker 6: and straight away Laura was like, oh, what is that.
8:10
Speaker 6: That's chicken.
8:10
Speaker 3: That is fishy.
8:12
Speaker 6: It was, and I smelled it and I was like, oh,
8:14
Speaker 6: that's definitely that's not quite right. And I tasted it
8:18
Speaker 6: and I was like, oh, it's not quite there.
8:23
Speaker 3: It's on the turn. It's on the brink.
8:25
Speaker 6: Yeah, I ate half of it, right, Oh, so.
8:30
Speaker 3: I got I got somewhat of a meal.
8:33
Speaker 6: I then complained because I said it was off, and
8:36
Speaker 6: then I got it free.
8:37
Speaker 3: You got it refunded. So I got a free half.
8:40
Speaker 1: Meal that's really really good and.
8:42
Speaker 3: I didn't have diarrhea today. I'm not sick.
8:46
Speaker 1: Money when money when it can take some time, It
8:50
Speaker 1: can take some time. You need to run out any point, that's.
8:52
Speaker 3: The money win, right, Yeah, I got one off the
8:55
Speaker 3: back of that.
8:56
Speaker 7: We were in Brisbane, ordered the kid's pizza to the
8:59
Speaker 7: hotel was saying it and it said that it had
9:02
Speaker 7: turned up and it didn't, so I immediately went for
9:06
Speaker 7: the refund. Twenty minutes later pizza turned up.
9:10
Speaker 1: Money win.
9:12
Speaker 3: How long did you money?
9:13
Speaker 7: When I got it refunded? But then also because I
9:16
Speaker 7: had Uber cash, got dinner last night.
9:19
Speaker 3: Free double win?
9:21
Speaker 8: Wow?
9:23
Speaker 3: Right girl math winning over here?
9:25
Speaker 7: These are all.
9:27
Speaker 3: It was really confident.
9:31
Speaker 1: That so much of the day.
9:37
Speaker 7: Oh it's actually door dash amazing.
9:43
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like that. Let's wrap it up there
9:45
Speaker 1: and head into broake tips. I feel bad. I think
9:47
Speaker 1: you've got a goodie for us, right, Okay, I do.
9:49
Speaker 1: Unfortunately it's not Uber it's related. Is that Okay? That
9:52
Speaker 1: like allowed off seam. Yeah, it's off se I'm really
9:55
Speaker 1: going rogue you guys. Okay, So as always we do
9:59
Speaker 1: have broke tips. Now Ash and Maddie Jay have come
10:02
Speaker 1: with their own, so I'm just going to read out
10:04
Speaker 1: one for the day. So this one comes from Maddie
10:06
Speaker 1: who says, refill spray and white bottles with water when
10:09
Speaker 1: they get down to half way, which I have a
10:11
Speaker 1: great idea because they really are a little bit too
10:14
Speaker 1: condensed at the start.
10:15
Speaker 3: So I do that with body wash, yes, body.
10:18
Speaker 1: Wash, shampoo, anything, because you don't like it's still all
10:21
Speaker 1: in there. You know, when you're saving a lot of
10:24
Speaker 1: not just money, but also you're saving the planet.
10:28
Speaker 6: I've got a conspiracy theory if i can just jump
10:31
Speaker 6: in for one second. Someone said that in other Scooper
10:36
Speaker 6: for the powder for your washing the clothes. They were like,
10:40
Speaker 6: that's actually that line they put on the Scooper to
10:44
Speaker 6: say how much you need for a full load that
10:46
Speaker 6: they're lying to us. They're saying you actually only need
10:50
Speaker 6: half of that, but they put the line way above
10:53
Speaker 6: because they want to encourage you.
10:54
Speaker 3: To use more. You have to buy more. So I
10:57
Speaker 3: only wash with half a scoop.
10:59
Speaker 1: Dirty dogs, those shops, dude.
11:01
Speaker 7: My wife goes through so much laundry powder sometimes I
11:05
Speaker 7: think she's just doing washers for the sake of it.
11:08
Speaker 7: Doesn't want to get out over the routine. Now that
11:10
Speaker 7: she's like, can you hang the wash up? Opened up,
11:12
Speaker 7: there's a pillowcase. Broke tip.
11:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah over consumers that broad tip. Okay, what
11:21
Speaker 1: are your broke tips?
11:22
Speaker 7: You go first? You want me to go go first?
11:24
Speaker 7: I've got one. I've got one. It's like how to
11:27
Speaker 7: save money, and I've just figured this out because I've
11:29
Speaker 7: done it. Now popular subscription service costs quite a little
11:33
Speaker 7: bit per month. However, I was recently told about a
11:37
Speaker 7: specific sports team that you can actually buy a membership
11:41
Speaker 7: from and get this subscription for free for twelve months
11:45
Speaker 7: now of the streaming service. The streaming service as well
11:49
Speaker 7: as the membership. Now I'm a member of this particular
11:52
Speaker 7: sports team. Now, don't support them, but it is one
11:56
Speaker 7: off payment of two hundred and fifty dollars, which is
11:58
Speaker 7: far less.
12:00
Speaker 3: Than a full years worth of subscription of this dream.
12:04
Speaker 6: Also, are there any other benefits from being a member
12:07
Speaker 6: of this sport?
12:08
Speaker 7: I can go to the games for the whole year
12:10
Speaker 7: for free Western Sydney.
12:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm a member from an entry level member.
12:16
Speaker 1: Really saving actually quite a lot of money.
12:18
Speaker 3: I've got a lanyard and everything.
12:20
Speaker 1: There you go.
12:20
Speaker 5: And now when someone asks who your teen is, you
12:22
Speaker 5: can go. You know how bloody loves y.
12:25
Speaker 7: Yes, I won't throw the subscription service under the bus.
12:30
Speaker 3: I don't want them to find.
12:31
Speaker 7: Out that's mine. That's it's actually quite a significant amount
12:37
Speaker 7: of savings.
12:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually really good.
12:39
Speaker 5: We're gonna have to eive tell us off the air
12:41
Speaker 5: and if anyone wants to know, we'll slide to a
12:42
Speaker 5: DM because I just know that people are going to ask.
12:44
Speaker 1: I have a feeling anyway. Sorry, I won't get into it,
12:47
Speaker 1: but I can't.
12:47
Speaker 3: Say anymore much. Want to get holder of every sports
12:54
Speaker 3: team in Sydney.
12:56
Speaker 1: Okay, what's yours?
12:58
Speaker 6: My saving tip is what comes from my mom. And
13:01
Speaker 6: for those who may not be aware, I'm one of
13:03
Speaker 6: five kids. We were raised by a single parent, my
13:07
Speaker 6: mom queen. So she's a teacher, not a big salary,
13:11
Speaker 6: so you know we were We watched every dollar.
13:13
Speaker 3: She makes up for an impersonality. She does she.
13:16
Speaker 6: Does, but from a very young age, she used to
13:19
Speaker 6: just on a Sunday she would do these really big cookups.
13:22
Speaker 6: We would then live off that meal for bloody ages.
13:25
Speaker 3: We have our freezing to just.
13:27
Speaker 6: Be foot chock full of his frozen dishes. And the
13:30
Speaker 6: two that she would always go for spaghetti bolonnaise and lasagna,
13:35
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
13:38
Speaker 3: Yeah.
13:38
Speaker 6: And also because it was fishion to cook right yeah yeah,
13:41
Speaker 6: and they would have chili coon cahne.
13:43
Speaker 3: It's mints killing me.
13:45
Speaker 6: But but now that we're all adults and we're all
13:48
Speaker 6: you know, financially secure, at this point, Mom still has
13:52
Speaker 6: the same mentality to save money. So recently we went
13:56
Speaker 6: on a holiday to rock Hampton, all of the family together.
13:59
Speaker 6: It was my younger brother's birthday. And you know, rock
14:02
Speaker 6: Hampton has supermarkets, it has restaurants, everything that we would have.
14:08
Speaker 6: But there was a lot of us there, a lot
14:10
Speaker 6: of kids, and my mom thought that the best thing
14:13
Speaker 6: to do, not knowing what type of kitchen we would
14:16
Speaker 6: have in the holiday house, she did a big cook
14:19
Speaker 6: up and she in one bag that she checked in
14:22
Speaker 6: on the flight. It was full of frozen lasagna and
14:26
Speaker 6: spaghetti bolonnaise on the flight.
14:29
Speaker 3: Whenever we go on.
14:29
Speaker 6: A holiday, my mom will bring with her enough food
14:34
Speaker 6: so we don't have to eat out at all.
14:38
Speaker 1: You don't have a heart to say, mum, that's kind
14:39
Speaker 1: of the point of the holidays.
14:41
Speaker 6: I was like, come on, this is ridiculous, Mum, Like,
14:45
Speaker 6: we don't need we don't need to bring it along.
14:46
Speaker 6: And on this particular flight they lost our luggage.
14:49
Speaker 3: It was a morning flight, not many.
14:51
Speaker 6: Flights out to Rockhampton, so we didn't get the bags
14:55
Speaker 6: back until like eleven o'clock that evening. If he thought,
15:00
Speaker 6: I was like, we're not going to we just will
15:01
Speaker 6: throw out the food because it's you know, it's surely
15:04
Speaker 6: it's not good to eat anyway.
15:06
Speaker 3: We all ate it a ton of money.
15:11
Speaker 1: It would have been just right by the time you
15:14
Speaker 1: got it. We're so ready to by that point nothing.
15:22
Speaker 1: That's a great, great, great broke tip.
15:24
Speaker 3: Actually, it's a good story that I've heard. I've heard
15:27
Speaker 3: bits of that story before, and it's I love that story.
15:31
Speaker 5: If you had kids that do that thing where they
15:34
Speaker 5: only eat one meal, that would be like.
15:36
Speaker 1: Your saving grace.
15:37
Speaker 5: Like if you had a kid who's like, all I
15:39
Speaker 5: want is to be like.
15:44
Speaker 8: Nothing is ideal, eating nothing is better, So hard to
15:48
Speaker 8: get your kids to eat, you know, Like, so we
15:51
Speaker 8: were away right and I got a steak and my
15:54
Speaker 8: youngest Macy, was like, I want some.
15:57
Speaker 7: I was like, okay, cool sounds loved it, made stake
16:00
Speaker 7: at home. Didn't want to bar it for that environment.
16:03
Speaker 7: You guys, Micheline star Chef.
16:09
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have thought that you're not. I mean anyway,
16:13
Speaker 1: Michelin Star Chef, I'm.
16:16
Speaker 7: Given the bear sort of Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely chef.
16:23
Speaker 7: So this is off the so off the back of
16:25
Speaker 7: our podcast, we joke about something that I have done
16:29
Speaker 7: since having children is that I've never thrown well, hang on.
16:34
Speaker 3: It's hard to know if this is genius or sad.
16:40
Speaker 1: This is people to decide.
16:43
Speaker 7: Yeah, now I feel like it's sad. It is sad
16:47
Speaker 7: for them, not for me. I'm enjoying it. It's now
16:50
Speaker 7: a sport for me. This I go every year just
16:52
Speaker 7: with one goal. Okay, so since having kids, I have
16:55
Speaker 7: never thrown them a birthday party?
16:58
Speaker 1: How are your kids?
16:58
Speaker 3: Either of them? Five?
16:59
Speaker 1: And okay, five is pushing you luck.
17:04
Speaker 7: I'm deep in it. I'm deeping it now. But like
17:06
Speaker 7: I said, it's an Olympic sport for me now. So
17:10
Speaker 7: the reason I don't do that, and how I get
17:12
Speaker 7: around it is I take my kids to other people's
17:15
Speaker 7: birthday parties and tell them it's their party as well.
17:20
Speaker 7: And it's gotten to the point where I have my
17:22
Speaker 7: daughter who's two, and one of my really good friends
17:25
Speaker 7: has a son who's born on the same day but
17:27
Speaker 7: a year later, so he's one.
17:30
Speaker 3: So we recently went.
17:31
Speaker 7: To his first birthday, and it's such an ongoing joke
17:36
Speaker 7: amongst my friends and us on the podcast that midway
17:40
Speaker 7: through the Happy Birthday where they went happy birth to bo,
17:43
Speaker 7: I just threw out there and May and then they
17:48
Speaker 7: whipped out another cake. Oh, and I sung Macy Happy Birthday.
17:54
Speaker 7: And I success because it was in November. I successfully
17:57
Speaker 7: had got through another year of not throwing my kid's
18:00
Speaker 7: a birthday party, hence saving me all the money and stress. Yes,
18:05
Speaker 7: I'm throwing a birthday are very expensive.
18:08
Speaker 3: I wouldn't know.
18:10
Speaker 1: You would get to a point where you're inviting her
18:14
Speaker 1: friends to other people's birthday. Now that's going to be that.
18:18
Speaker 3: I'm just going to make sure she's friends with everyone.
18:20
Speaker 6: Well, most those birthday parties are in parks, aren't they.
18:24
Speaker 6: You just turn up, so it's not it's easy to
18:26
Speaker 6: invite other games as long as it's a round about
18:28
Speaker 6: the right month. If I get a birthday, invite a
18:30
Speaker 6: round about.
18:31
Speaker 7: Yeah it's Oscar had about twelve birthdays last year.
18:36
Speaker 3: Spoil.
18:36
Speaker 7: He's about to start work. Yeah, I honestly haven't spent
18:42
Speaker 7: a sen on birthdays.
18:43
Speaker 5: Birthdays are expensive for kids. There you go, that's a
18:46
Speaker 5: good little brute tip for here. I don't know how
18:47
Speaker 5: many people are going to take you up on that, but.
18:49
Speaker 3: Those parents that are expecting start early.
18:52
Speaker 1: Yes, plan the due date around someone else's or we
18:56
Speaker 1: could actually do that for ourselves. I might do that
18:57
Speaker 1: this year with one of my friends. I'm going to
19:00
Speaker 1: do that.
19:01
Speaker 5: Well, let's go to a really quick break and when
19:03
Speaker 5: we come back, we are going to chat more about kids.
19:04
Speaker 5: We're going to talk about where the pocket money is
19:06
Speaker 5: a good idea, and we're also going to chat about
19:08
Speaker 5: managing expectations with children.
19:10
Speaker 1: That maybe aren't your own. So don't go anywhere. Welcome
19:17
Speaker 1: back everyone. Here's our money dilemma.
19:21
Speaker 4: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
19:23
Speaker 4: can't solve The She's on the Money team is here
19:26
Speaker 4: to help.
19:27
Speaker 1: Every week we.
19:28
Speaker 4: Tackle your dilemmas, both big and small. To answer your
19:30
Speaker 4: most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved,
19:34
Speaker 4: simply head to our website and leave us a short
19:36
Speaker 4: voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now,
19:39
Speaker 4: let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
19:44
Speaker 9: Hi, guys, wanted to write him with a bit of
19:46
Speaker 9: dilemma I'm having at the moment. So my hobby and
19:49
Speaker 9: I we've got a bit of opposing views on pocket.
19:52
Speaker 3: Money for our eleven year old son.
19:54
Speaker 9: So up until now, he's been you know, generally really
19:57
Speaker 9: sweet and have for kid, always cleans up his room
20:00
Speaker 9: and helps out with really basic things. You know, when
20:02
Speaker 9: I ask him to do something, he does it, and
20:04
Speaker 9: of course we give him when you know, what he
20:06
Speaker 9: wants when he needs money, so a little tree, going
20:09
Speaker 9: to the movie, something like that. I'm pretty keen for
20:12
Speaker 9: this to continue. My thought being that it's important that
20:15
Speaker 9: he's expected to help with household chores and not you know,
20:17
Speaker 9: you don't specifically get money for those tasks. It's something
20:20
Speaker 9: that you should contribute to the household. However, my husband
20:24
Speaker 9: wants to up the chores, so make him do more
20:26
Speaker 9: and give him a certain amount of money as he
20:28
Speaker 9: thinks this will teach him kind of a better value
20:31
Speaker 9: for money and hard work. And we're at a bit
20:33
Speaker 9: of an impasse, and I was just wondering what you
20:35
Speaker 9: all think.
20:35
Speaker 5: You know, what really excited to me is having people
20:37
Speaker 5: who are actually parents here, because we have answered questions
20:40
Speaker 5: about kids in the past, and neither of us I mean,
20:45
Speaker 5: just the disease. Maybe the perspective is a little bit different.
20:47
Speaker 7: I mean, our kids are much younger, but we mine
20:51
Speaker 7: are like they're at the age where it's like, he's
20:53
Speaker 7: a good example for my son. He was so scared
20:57
Speaker 7: or not scared. He just didn't want to cut his hair.
20:59
Speaker 7: So I said, you cut your hair, you'll get rewarded
21:01
Speaker 7: with something. So now what he does is he's like,
21:03
Speaker 7: I need a headcut to be rewarded. I think she
21:06
Speaker 7: says there, she's like, he wants to up the chores. Yep,
21:11
Speaker 7: I don't see if he wants to up it. I
21:13
Speaker 7: think the kids should be compensated.
21:15
Speaker 1: We're all about people being paid for the work that
21:16
Speaker 1: they do.
21:17
Speaker 7: Here on this podcast, he's happy if she's already happy
21:21
Speaker 7: with him doing those those low lying activities, the ship
21:24
Speaker 7: kicker activities, and then he's like, well, I want him
21:27
Speaker 7: to do more important work.
21:28
Speaker 3: At least you get paid for it.
21:29
Speaker 1: Plow the plow the field or whatever.
21:35
Speaker 6: I kind of agree with you. I do think as
21:37
Speaker 6: well that she's got this unicorn child. Oh ye, first
21:41
Speaker 6: of all, congratulations on winning a lottery.
21:43
Speaker 3: Write a book the.
21:44
Speaker 6: Best kid, Yeah, because that does not happen often. I
21:47
Speaker 6: grew up having to have like a star chart, and
21:50
Speaker 6: so we had we had certain jobs. There was one
21:54
Speaker 6: that we had a little plastic bag and we had
21:56
Speaker 6: to fill it with weeds, and then you know, a
21:58
Speaker 6: certain number of stars would then get you something that
22:01
Speaker 6: you wanted at the end of the week, and that
22:03
Speaker 6: then progressed when we were older, going into you know,
22:05
Speaker 6: like year seven, year eight, we would get an amount of.
22:08
Speaker 3: Pocket money was part of the cartel whipping. It's just
22:13
Speaker 3: like his bag full of weise.
22:19
Speaker 6: We definitely ask kids we needed to have some type
22:23
Speaker 6: of incentive to get those jobs done, the shitty ones
22:26
Speaker 6: like the cleaning the toilet, doing the gardening, washing the car,
22:29
Speaker 6: things that we didn't really enjoy. And it was good
22:31
Speaker 6: for me because it taught me, you know, you had
22:33
Speaker 6: to if you want something, you got to put in
22:35
Speaker 6: the effort. You've got to get the work done a
22:36
Speaker 6: bit of discipline. But then also eventually, when I was
22:40
Speaker 6: in my early teens, I could then start saving for
22:43
Speaker 6: money and I understood like how to use money and yeah,
22:46
Speaker 6: so it was a good foundation for me. But I
22:48
Speaker 6: do think the risk is if you've got a kid
22:50
Speaker 6: who's already doing the work happily, like don't rock the boat.
22:57
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think on the work, they kind of answer
23:02
Speaker 7: their own question by adding their like he wants them
23:05
Speaker 7: to do more, then you get compensated. So the things
23:08
Speaker 7: that he's doing for free, they're still free chores.
23:11
Speaker 6: But the kid, the kid doesn't want to be compensated.
23:13
Speaker 6: The dad saying you should be compensated. The kid's not
23:15
Speaker 6: complaining work. The kid until he starts to understand take
23:21
Speaker 6: an advantage, he's exactly yeah.
23:24
Speaker 3: Then it's like then he's just going to be bitter.
23:27
Speaker 3: He's going to start a union. He's not. He's going
23:29
Speaker 3: to start a union. He's like a robot. Think of that.
23:33
Speaker 7: Think of the knock on effects. It's going to start
23:35
Speaker 7: a union. It's going to get his buddies over and
23:36
Speaker 7: they're going to rally out the front.
23:37
Speaker 3: I disagree, protest, get a pick. It going at some point.
23:42
Speaker 6: I think, at some point asking for better conditions it's good,
23:44
Speaker 6: and it's good. It's good to have some type of
23:47
Speaker 6: monetary exchange.
23:48
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think so. I think so they can learn
23:50
Speaker 7: the value of money. That much that is, that's up
23:53
Speaker 7: to them. How much money they've got, I don't know.
23:55
Speaker 3: Look, if he.
23:56
Speaker 7: Doesn't want to do the work money, If he doesn't
23:58
Speaker 7: want to do the work, I'll do it.
24:00
Speaker 5: We could all use the extra cash.
24:02
Speaker 3: Do I get pocket money? I can't remember.
24:07
Speaker 1: See there you go, remember, don't give them any money?
24:10
Speaker 3: Say that I would have. Yeah, I don't remember anything
24:14
Speaker 3: any specifics.
24:15
Speaker 7: Actually, yeah, my sister got paid for making the school lunches.
24:19
Speaker 3: She's older. Her lunches were ship.
24:26
Speaker 1: Paid those capo dogs. So I think, I just I
24:31
Speaker 1: don't know. Like, obviously we don't have children together or separately.
24:36
Speaker 3: Would you pay a small child to come to your
24:37
Speaker 3: house and do work?
24:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would. But I think also there are other
24:41
Speaker 1: ways that you can be like as you were saying,
24:43
Speaker 1: like with the star chart and stuff, there are otherwise
24:44
Speaker 1: you can feel like you've achieved something by doing these
24:47
Speaker 1: small things. So I think that, like, you know, rewarding
24:50
Speaker 1: your child in other ways and if you're already kind
24:54
Speaker 1: of like getting everything he needs if you if you
24:56
Speaker 1: need to go to the movies or not needs to
24:58
Speaker 1: go to the movies. If you want to go to movies,
25:00
Speaker 1: you give him money for it. You know, things like that.
25:02
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, there's already this kind of like
25:04
Speaker 1: really nice dynamic that you've got going on. I don't
25:06
Speaker 1: think it's necessary, but it's a different story. If you
25:09
Speaker 1: are wanting to start teaching financial literacy, and if that's
25:13
Speaker 1: what you are want to do eventually, that's what you
25:15
Speaker 1: want to do. Now you think that he's in a
25:17
Speaker 1: he has capacity to understand that right now, then go ahead.
25:21
Speaker 1: If not, I think it's fine to just kind of like,
25:25
Speaker 1: because chores are expected, you're going to have to do
25:27
Speaker 1: chorores the rest of your life. Yeah. So I don't know,
25:30
Speaker 1: but that's just me. I don't have a single child, so.
25:33
Speaker 5: No, I as a as a pet parent, she was attacked, No,
25:41
Speaker 5: I agree. I think that the important thing is is
25:46
Speaker 5: as an adult, I think you can really tell the
25:48
Speaker 5: difference between people who had to work for things as
25:51
Speaker 5: a child and people who didn't. Like I think it's
25:53
Speaker 5: really obvious as you get older, the people who learned
25:56
Speaker 5: those lessons and actually have to work for things, versus
25:59
Speaker 5: the people who maybe were in more affluent situations or
26:02
Speaker 5: their parents were a bit more cruisy and happy to
26:05
Speaker 5: just let them do as they did. I think it
26:07
Speaker 5: really ultimately raises two different types of people. And as
26:12
Speaker 5: you were saying, like, you come to a point in
26:13
Speaker 5: life where unfortunately we all have to work for a living,
26:16
Speaker 5: and so I think getting them to earn them pocket
26:19
Speaker 5: money sets them up to understand the way that the
26:22
Speaker 5: world works. Like, in addition to the financial literacy benefits,
26:25
Speaker 5: I think it really teaches you like there are shit jobs,
26:28
Speaker 5: like sometimes you don't want to turn up and do
26:29
Speaker 5: what you have to do, but you got to do it,
26:31
Speaker 5: and so I think it really teaches those skills in
26:34
Speaker 5: addition to as you were saying, like understanding that, you know,
26:38
Speaker 5: the exchange between doing a job and earning money and
26:41
Speaker 5: the concept of saving that money up to purchase something
26:43
Speaker 5: like those are all really good lessons. But I think
26:45
Speaker 5: more than anything it helps I mean, I don't have
26:48
Speaker 5: a kid, so I can't say, but having observed people
26:50
Speaker 5: as adults, I think the people who didn't necessarily have
26:53
Speaker 5: to work for things are often not as well adjusted
26:55
Speaker 5: or as well equipped for the things that they have
26:57
Speaker 5: to do later in life.
26:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, personal perspective.
27:00
Speaker 3: I mean you can tell you that it's the ones
27:01
Speaker 3: that didn't have to do anything with just like that guy.
27:05
Speaker 6: Yeah one, the ones that don't bring frozen lasagna on holiday.
27:09
Speaker 7: Resilient, like I'm just going to buy fresh lazagna that.
27:14
Speaker 8: Yeah.
27:15
Speaker 5: So I think like it's and it's hard if you
27:16
Speaker 5: and your husband, it's ultimately it's your kid and you
27:18
Speaker 5: guys have to come to an agreement. Maybe there's a
27:20
Speaker 5: middle ground where maybe it starts off as an optional. Hey,
27:23
Speaker 5: if you want some extra money to spend, you know,
27:25
Speaker 5: we cover all the things that you need, We cover
27:27
Speaker 5: what we've been doing. If you want a bit of
27:28
Speaker 5: extra cash, you can earn that by doing a chore
27:31
Speaker 5: and maybe you kind of can introduce it that way
27:33
Speaker 5: and transition over see how it goes.
27:35
Speaker 7: But I do like to teach them worth work ethic
27:38
Speaker 7: because they can start like fifteen hour he's eleven.
27:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, a few more years and he's going to be
27:42
Speaker 3: in the trenches.
27:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going to be working at Red Rooster.
27:45
Speaker 5: McDonald's absolutely triggering to think, I don't know but I
27:51
Speaker 5: totally agree. I think not to be a little monotonous,
27:54
Speaker 5: but I do want to talk about kids a bit more.
27:55
Speaker 1: While we've got the experts in.
27:57
Speaker 5: The room, I think you could never ask, might as
27:59
Speaker 5: well take advantag So let's get into this week's juicy DM,
28:03
Speaker 5: which actually caused some conversation at our family dinner this week.
28:06
Speaker 5: Oh so, our listener said, I'm an auntie to two
28:10
Speaker 5: beautiful nieces, but they are spoilt rotten by my brother
28:13
Speaker 5: and his wife. The girls are twelve and ten and
28:16
Speaker 5: are getting really obsessed with materialistic things, and I see
28:19
Speaker 5: a real pattern of excessive spending in the girls. The
28:22
Speaker 5: other day, I took the girls to a movie and
28:23
Speaker 5: to the shops, where they insisted on going into their
28:26
Speaker 5: favorite shop, Mecca. They both found items that were over
28:29
Speaker 5: one hundred dollars and expected me to purchase them for them.
28:33
Speaker 5: When I told them that that would not be happening,
28:35
Speaker 5: they had massive tantrums and got very upset with me,
28:37
Speaker 5: saying Mum or Dad would never say no. I'm worried
28:41
Speaker 5: my brother isn't teaching the girls good values around money,
28:43
Speaker 5: and so my question is can I say something to
28:46
Speaker 5: them or is it really not my place to tell
28:48
Speaker 5: them how to parent. Will they get defensive and be offended?
28:51
Speaker 5: It is their kids, after all, But I'm worried that
28:54
Speaker 5: they haven't realized the lessons they're teaching the girls around money,
28:57
Speaker 5: and they might need someone to give them a bit
28:58
Speaker 5: of a reality check.
29:01
Speaker 7: So yeah, I think, like, look, cland none of your
29:07
Speaker 7: business as well, like, but also you don't want to
29:12
Speaker 7: if you set the expectation what it's going to be
29:14
Speaker 7: like with you, that's fine, but you can't really, like,
29:18
Speaker 7: you can't really go and tell your sister or your brother, sorry,
29:22
Speaker 7: how to parent that.
29:24
Speaker 6: Well, it depends on the relationship that you have, Like
29:27
Speaker 6: I guess there could be a situation where they could
29:30
Speaker 6: be very responsive to getting that type of feedback. But
29:33
Speaker 6: you would assume based on how I am, based on
29:36
Speaker 6: how you are. Most parents out there, taking any type
29:39
Speaker 6: of criticism from a family member is always going to
29:41
Speaker 6: end badly.
29:44
Speaker 7: Yeah, nine times out of ten, Like as much as
29:46
Speaker 7: you can try and sugarcoat it, like, how are you
29:48
Speaker 7: supposed to say your kids are spoiled?
29:50
Speaker 3: Little shit? Yeah? How you're supposed to say that?
29:52
Speaker 8: Likely?
29:53
Speaker 6: I agree with her concerns. I think, oh yeah, there's
29:57
Speaker 6: no question that she is likely going to be these
30:01
Speaker 6: children are going to grow up to being title little brats.
30:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like, also what sort of person is that
30:05
Speaker 3: is the auntie as well?
30:06
Speaker 7: If it's like what, like her value is obviously very
30:09
Speaker 7: different to her brothers.
30:11
Speaker 3: How is their upbringing any different? Or is she just
30:13
Speaker 3: on a high horse or I don't know, Well, I
30:15
Speaker 3: think but I or she no child? Is she going
30:18
Speaker 3: to Mecca? Hang?
30:19
Speaker 6: I don't think any child should go to Mecca. It
30:20
Speaker 6: doesn't matter how you've been brought up. Shouldn't be getting
30:23
Speaker 6: a hundred bucks off the back of anything, not saying
30:26
Speaker 6: I think like as a as a benchmark rule, like
30:29
Speaker 6: I don't agree with it, but unfortunately that's not enough
30:32
Speaker 6: to warrant you know, you stepping in and being like
30:35
Speaker 6: you're being I don't agree with your.
30:37
Speaker 7: Shit too, because all their friends could be getting Mecca
30:39
Speaker 7: and they were like, well mom and dad aren't here,
30:41
Speaker 7: let's try and bum steer out.
30:43
Speaker 3: You don't know, but.
30:44
Speaker 7: I think, like it's not worth risking the relationship with
30:47
Speaker 7: the rest of the family when they need to work
30:49
Speaker 7: it out on their own.
30:50
Speaker 3: They need to work out that their kids are spoiled
30:52
Speaker 3: little shit on their own.
30:53
Speaker 6: As like, as long as those kids are happy and
30:57
Speaker 6: healthy and well fed. Unfortunately you can't.
31:03
Speaker 7: It's kind of like the rule you say, everything right,
31:04
Speaker 7: as long as the kids are happy and healthy and welfare,
31:06
Speaker 7: which is true. I mean, I don't know these people personally,
31:10
Speaker 7: so I would say, yeah, like, I agree with you
31:13
Speaker 7: if they're happy and healthy, but also maybe just butt
31:15
Speaker 7: out a bit.
31:16
Speaker 1: Yeah.
31:16
Speaker 5: What came up at the dinner table with my sister
31:18
Speaker 5: in law, who hilariously I have two nieces, and what
31:21
Speaker 5: she brought up was the fact that often at that
31:24
Speaker 5: age they test the boundary. So it could very well
31:27
Speaker 5: be that mum and dad wouldn't spend the money at
31:29
Speaker 5: Mecca or wouldn't do that, but the girls are just
31:31
Speaker 5: trying it on to see.
31:32
Speaker 1: Oh well, maybe be.
31:33
Speaker 5: Said, maybe the auntie is gonna be like, oh else,
31:37
Speaker 5: that's what mum and dad will do. By all means, yeah,
31:40
Speaker 5: as someone who doesn't have kids, and maybe it's not
31:42
Speaker 5: my place to say, but I do think it's worth
31:44
Speaker 5: maybe gently raising the conversation or raising your concerns, even
31:49
Speaker 5: just sharing the story of what happened exactly.
31:52
Speaker 6: I think it's a manipulators too, Yeah, I mean Marley
31:56
Speaker 6: and Lola that we've had before with the babysitters called
31:58
Speaker 6: us up and said Marley said that she's allowed to
32:01
Speaker 6: have a full block of chocolate. I'm like, what, no chance,
32:05
Speaker 6: And Mary's like, oh sorry, Mi'm st sorry.
32:09
Speaker 3: I didn't think should actually call me out on that.
32:11
Speaker 5: So I almost think maybe it's worth even just letting
32:15
Speaker 5: your brother know, your sister in law know the story
32:17
Speaker 5: of what happens, like, hey, we want to know this happened.
32:20
Speaker 1: You know, wasn't sure what to do because, to.
32:22
Speaker 5: Be honest, if my nieces did that to me, like
32:24
Speaker 5: especially if they started to get a bit towy in
32:26
Speaker 5: the store, I'd have a little meltdown, like I wouldn't
32:29
Speaker 5: know what to do, right, Like I don't have kids,
32:31
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, Like I would be embarrassed,
32:32
Speaker 5: and I would just be like, okay, like whatever you want,
32:34
Speaker 5: let's get out of here, like let's get done, and
32:36
Speaker 5: so like I can I almost feel like sharing the
32:39
Speaker 5: perspective of saying, hey, like if I'm going to take
32:41
Speaker 5: the girls out or if I'm going to do whatever,
32:43
Speaker 5: like that's not really something that can happen because I'm
32:45
Speaker 5: not equipped to handle it or I'm not prepared to
32:47
Speaker 5: spend that, Like, I think there's something in it.
32:50
Speaker 7: You could tell the story like, yeah, like that happened
32:52
Speaker 7: with that in a non judge way.
32:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I would agree with that.
32:55
Speaker 7: I suppose, just to see you could gauge what the
32:58
Speaker 7: reaction would be before you start to.
33:00
Speaker 1: Read the room a little bit.
33:02
Speaker 5: Yes, I think you can flag it without necessarily coming
33:04
Speaker 5: in and being like, hey, your girls are little shits
33:07
Speaker 5: and they're really entitled and blah blah. Like I think
33:08
Speaker 5: you could just maybe bring it up and have the
33:10
Speaker 5: conversation and see what happens from there. Because they also
33:13
Speaker 5: think it's very valid for you to not want to
33:15
Speaker 5: spend that money. And if you're like me and you're
33:17
Speaker 5: not sure what to do in that situation, I can
33:19
Speaker 5: see how that would be kind of hard to handle.
33:21
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I also think too, like, no one really needs
33:24
Speaker 1: to worry too much. Like I totally get that, like
33:25
Speaker 1: people's upbrings and stuff like really shape who they are
33:28
Speaker 1: as a person when they go into adult life. But
33:30
Speaker 1: a lot of our like the way that we are
33:33
Speaker 1: and a lot of things we learn it does happen
33:35
Speaker 1: in our lady years. So I have friends who have
33:38
Speaker 1: like kind of grown up like this. Well, they probably like,
33:41
Speaker 1: I don't even I only literally just learn what the
33:43
Speaker 1: word mecca is personally. But I'm like, and you can
33:45
Speaker 1: kind of tell. But some people grew up in you know,
33:49
Speaker 1: really really affluent affluent is the world affluent house.
33:55
Speaker 8: I did almost say it.
33:58
Speaker 1: They kind of you know, grow up in these really
34:00
Speaker 1: absoluent households, and they don't really you know, I can
34:04
Speaker 1: kind of see the difference, but only slightly now because people, once,
34:08
Speaker 1: you like, start mingling with other people from different walks
34:12
Speaker 1: of life and different experiences and different everything too. That's
34:15
Speaker 1: when you start kind of like your own like identity
34:18
Speaker 1: and where you are in the world and where you're
34:20
Speaker 1: placed in the world kind of like is shaped. So
34:22
Speaker 1: I think that even if that right now they're spoilt,
34:24
Speaker 1: I think that when they grow up and they start
34:26
Speaker 1: mingling with different people, different social groups, meeting people that
34:30
Speaker 1: they really get along with but maybe grew up poor
34:32
Speaker 1: and like just kind of being like, their eyes will
34:34
Speaker 1: be open to like other experiences, and I feel like
34:37
Speaker 1: you don't need worry too much about how they are
34:39
Speaker 1: as children, because yeah, they could be manipulating her, they
34:41
Speaker 1: could be anything, but we all kind of our formative years.
34:46
Speaker 1: This is not backed by science. I don't know when
34:49
Speaker 1: the formative years are, but I feel like socially and
34:53
Speaker 1: all of these things, it's kind of like, you know, yeah,
34:55
Speaker 1: you know, late teens, early twenties when we start really
35:00
Speaker 1: meaning different types of people from different walks of life.
35:02
Speaker 1: So I think that, don't swear it yet. What did
35:06
Speaker 1: the community have to say.
35:07
Speaker 5: I'll do a really quick whip around, because as all ways,
35:09
Speaker 5: we asked you guys, what you think on Instagram? If
35:11
Speaker 5: you want to join us, you can find us at
35:13
Speaker 5: ches and the money Aus. So firstly we said do
35:15
Speaker 5: you think this person should say something? Sixty one percent
35:18
Speaker 5: said yes, they have good intentions, and thirty nine percent
35:21
Speaker 5: said no, it's not their place to tell them how
35:23
Speaker 5: to parent. Then we said, if you said yes, have
35:26
Speaker 5: you got any advice on how to bring it up?
35:29
Speaker 5: And so we had a few kind of very different perspectives.
35:32
Speaker 5: Some people said you should be able to discuss these
35:34
Speaker 5: things with close family and some people said you absolutely
35:38
Speaker 5: should not touch that with a ten foot pole if
35:40
Speaker 5: you want to keep a good relationship. So there's very
35:42
Speaker 5: differing perspectives on that one, and I guess it really
35:44
Speaker 5: comes down to what your relationship with your family is.
35:48
Speaker 5: Have you spoken about these things before? One person said
35:52
Speaker 5: a really good, I think example of what to say,
35:55
Speaker 5: and she said, discuss the tantrum that the girls had
35:58
Speaker 5: in response to the word no, rather than making it
36:00
Speaker 5: about the money and the other stuff, talk about the
36:03
Speaker 5: behavior and what your experience with that was, which I
36:06
Speaker 5: think is pretty valid and kind of going back to
36:09
Speaker 5: what we were saying before. Then we asked, if you
36:11
Speaker 5: are a parent, what are some of the main values
36:13
Speaker 5: or lessons that you tried to teach your kids around money.
36:16
Speaker 5: One person said how you earn it and how important
36:20
Speaker 5: it is to save. Another person said that you need
36:22
Speaker 5: to work for what you want, and somebody else said
36:26
Speaker 5: that money needs to be earned and should be spent,
36:28
Speaker 5: but it needs to be spent based on our needs
36:31
Speaker 5: and our values before our once, which I think is
36:33
Speaker 5: really relevant, particularly to the idea of a twelve year
36:36
Speaker 5: old dropping one hundred dollars in Mecca. And then lastly
36:40
Speaker 5: we said tell us your two cents. Somebody said it
36:44
Speaker 5: takes a village to raise a child. You can help
36:47
Speaker 5: to teach them values too, which I thought was a
36:50
Speaker 5: really nice take. It could be hard, maybe if your
36:52
Speaker 5: values conflict, and I'd be interested to know what you
36:55
Speaker 5: guys think as parents like that in regards to that.
36:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I suppose her value.
37:00
Speaker 7: Well, again, we don't know if thin the kids were
37:02
Speaker 7: manipulative or whatever, but like I know, like my sister
37:05
Speaker 7: and my parenting styles are very different. And look, some
37:09
Speaker 7: of the things she does say I would agree with
37:12
Speaker 7: and I could do better, but some things I don't
37:14
Speaker 7: agree with and I don't think that they work.
37:16
Speaker 3: But like, you've got.
37:17
Speaker 7: To try and find some common grounds somewhere because everyone's
37:20
Speaker 7: going to be different. Every kid's going to be different,
37:22
Speaker 7: so it does take a village. And like sometimes, like
37:24
Speaker 7: I said, you take bits of advice from those around you,
37:27
Speaker 7: but some you don't agree with it all and you
37:29
Speaker 7: sort of just push it aside and try and do
37:31
Speaker 7: what's best for you.
37:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally relevant.
37:34
Speaker 5: Somebody said, my mum always said yes to me when
37:37
Speaker 5: I was a child, and then when I got older,
37:38
Speaker 5: I really struggled to save and to not shop. So
37:41
Speaker 5: it's an interesting look at me needing impact for the
37:43
Speaker 5: flow and effects that that can have. Somebody else said
37:46
Speaker 5: that kids can be fully want want want because of
37:48
Speaker 5: social media and marketing, which I think is something that
37:50
Speaker 5: I've really seen, like again with the mecha thing. My
37:52
Speaker 5: nieces are a little bit younger than this listeners that
37:56
Speaker 5: they talk about wanting drunk elephants, skincare and stuff that
37:59
Speaker 5: you go, I don't have that. As someone who's nearly thirty.
38:03
Speaker 5: It's crazy to me that you think that you need that.
38:06
Speaker 5: Do you guys see that with your kids at all?
38:07
Speaker 5: Them kind of mirroring. They're quite young, aren't they, so
38:10
Speaker 5: maybe not.
38:11
Speaker 3: Much yea Marley's five.
38:12
Speaker 6: I mean, it's crazy when she watches YouTube and she'll
38:15
Speaker 6: be watching Gabby's Dollhouse and then after an episode there's
38:18
Speaker 6: an advert for to buy a Gabby Dollhouse toy, and
38:21
Speaker 6: you know it just that little ecosystem is so crazy,
38:25
Speaker 6: so well designed to make them want more and more
38:27
Speaker 6: and more. It is it's hard work as a parent
38:30
Speaker 6: to always say no.
38:31
Speaker 7: Yeah, I find like throwing them off the scent is better,
38:35
Speaker 7: Like you'd be like.
38:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe like for your birthday next year.
38:38
Speaker 7: Not let he gets a birthday, but you know, like
38:43
Speaker 7: you know, if you're a really good boy, or for Christmas.
38:46
Speaker 3: It was like, look, if you a really good boy,
38:48
Speaker 3: you're right.
38:48
Speaker 7: To sounding you're telling what you really want, then you know, maybe,
38:52
Speaker 7: but you're also going to look at you know, giving
38:54
Speaker 7: to others and shit like that.
38:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, you try and move instead of just being like no,
38:59
Speaker 3: you know yeah, YouTube is like bit shit. Yeah.
39:04
Speaker 6: When that person was talking about it takes a village
39:07
Speaker 6: to raise a child, absolutely agree. But at the same time,
39:11
Speaker 6: I think the rules and the standards are very much
39:14
Speaker 6: enforced by the parents, other family members and friends. They
39:18
Speaker 6: then follow suit. So it's really bloody hard if you
39:22
Speaker 6: disagree at its core with how the parents are raising
39:26
Speaker 6: that child. So that's where it's it's like you hope
39:30
Speaker 6: that you would all be on the same page. I mean,
39:31
Speaker 6: I'm very much sometimes I have to tell other family
39:33
Speaker 6: members don't come over with a toy each time. Like
39:37
Speaker 6: my brothers for example, that are in a different states,
39:39
Speaker 6: whenever they arrive, they bring a toy with them, even
39:41
Speaker 6: if it's not a birthday or a Christmas present. I'm
39:43
Speaker 6: trying to build resilience into my children. I'm very much like,
39:47
Speaker 6: stop with the gifts in the presence.
39:49
Speaker 7: You don't want to say, do you know what the
39:50
Speaker 7: kids having this expectation is that you see that person
39:53
Speaker 7: automatically get something, they're going to back you up because
39:56
Speaker 7: ultimately they're your kid, right Yeah, I think like, yeah,
39:58
Speaker 7: in that person who's like got the dilemma, it might
40:01
Speaker 7: be worth just saying, hey, I didn't know how to
40:02
Speaker 7: deal with this, how would you deal with it? Just
40:04
Speaker 7: see what the reaction is instead of going your parenting
40:08
Speaker 7: them wrong.
40:09
Speaker 6: Yeah, if you disagree, punch them out.
40:18
Speaker 1: Amazing.
40:19
Speaker 5: I feel like that's a really good place to leave.
40:20
Speaker 5: I think, yeah, ultimately, work with the parent, not against them.
40:23
Speaker 5: It's not your kid at the end of the day.
40:25
Speaker 5: And if they do raise someone who's not in line
40:27
Speaker 5: with your morals, they're not your child, and so exactly
40:29
Speaker 5: you know, your circus, not your mom.
40:30
Speaker 3: Showing that forever and ever and ever.
40:33
Speaker 5: Guy, thank you so much for joining us. If people
40:35
Speaker 5: do want to hear more of you, where can they
40:37
Speaker 5: find you? Where can they listen? What can they watch?
40:39
Speaker 6: Two Doting Dads wherever you get your podcasts from. We're
40:42
Speaker 6: also on socials, We're at two Doting Dads on Instagram, TikTok.
40:46
Speaker 6: We also have a Facebook group and I'm just going
40:48
Speaker 6: to confirm the Two Doting Dads on Facebook YouTube is.
40:54
Speaker 6: You can also find us on you very good at
40:56
Speaker 6: what we do, the two doting dads, and we have
40:59
Speaker 6: a Facebook group as well, so we're bloody everywhere.
41:01
Speaker 3: We are.
41:02
Speaker 5: Cand save incredible, well, thank you so much for joinings.
41:05
Speaker 5: Was really called it at a fresh perspective. Love having
41:07
Speaker 5: an actual parent here to comment on parenting phenomenal. Thank
41:12
Speaker 5: you guys so much for tuning in. Victoria will see
41:15
Speaker 5: you bright early for Money Diary on Monday.
41:17
Speaker 1: Have a great weekend.
41:18
Speaker 7: Bye guys.
41:26
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41:28
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