Latest / The Pressing Play Podcast / Ep7 Pressing Play on Midlife Beauty with Mala Moonbeam
Transcript
- Jo Fiddy: Hello and welcome to the Pressing Play podcast. I'm your host, Jo Fiddy and Queen Ages gather round. We are taking those conversations from the WhatsApp chat, from the conversations we're having with our friends, with our sisters, because we want to know what is happening with our face and with our hair and how can we feel good about ourselves as we go through this mid. life beauty stage of our life. And I know you have questions. I've seen the WhatsApps that have come through today. I know there's questions and I will get them asked because we are in for a treat. Marla Moonbeam is an award-winning midlife beauty mentor who seamlessly blends skincare, confidence and mindfulness through her make up your face, make up your mind philosophy. I just love it already. And she also works with rapid tapping, which is just so beautiful for the mind and body. With her grounding with her Middle Eastern heritage and over 25 years of experience in Oriation, she uplifts women to bring both their inner and outer beauty to life. Through her signature mirror time method. ⁓ she's here as a motivational speaker for the Queen Ager generation. ⁓ Marla, yay! ⁓ Mala Monteam Ungelson: Thank you, thank you. Jo Fiddy: ⁓ we are so happy to have you here on the pod. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Well, I'm feeling very beauty blessed. So thank you very much for inviting me. I am hugely excited to tell you lots and lots. So what do you want to know? Jo Fiddy: ⁓ thank you. ⁓ what do we want to know? Cause I think it's so interesting, isn't it? Because I think we, we know about the hair. So we know that, you know, there's going to be the grays and the silvers coming in, but we don't know what's really coming. We don't talk about it enough, especially in perimenopause. It's like the beauty and the confidence that we feel on ourselves. Cause sometimes we're sidelined by the other symptoms such as brain fog or not sleeping. But I think it's a really important part of who we are because Our hair is our crown, isn't it? How do you find midlife beauty and the space that you're working in right now? Tell us more about you. Mala Monteam Ungelson: So I feel that women as a whole are a little bit dismissive of themselves. So like, I'd like to challenge all women to be beauty fueled so that they're using it as a way of enhancing themselves. If you spend a moment just utilizing your makeup routine as a way to enhance, as a moment for you, trying to sort of like... grab those moments, but change the way and the belief behind them. for example, when you, I watch women, when I go and do consultations, I do skincare consultations together with makeup, revamps, all that sort of stuff, and give women a new lease of life when it comes to their skincare. But interestingly, if you say to somebody, how do you take your cleanser off? They like start doing all this kind of faces and rubbing and I'm like, ⁓ gosh, that looks rather abrasive. Jo Fiddy: you Mala Monteam Ungelson: Imagine it was so I think to myself, ⁓ my god, if they're using exfoliator, they're probably taking about 10 layers off. So we want to go gently, we want to sort of like, which is why tapping and rapid tapping and think and all of these things kind of blend together because we want to show some TLC when we're touching our faces. So for me, mirror time, utilising sort of like your makeup moment to make up your mind as well gives you that moment to elevate. Jo Fiddy: Yeah. ⁓ Mala Monteam Ungelson: not just your face with a bit of highlighter, not just your hair with a little bit of hydrating. You need to sort of like blend those things together and to actually feel like you're doing something for yourself and then look at yourself. Jo Fiddy: I love it. I absolutely love it. And that leads beautifully on actually your mirror time method. It's such a powerful idea. Can you talk us through that in more detail so we can really understand what that is, Mala Monteam Ungelson: ⁓ think it kind of started when I was younger and was in India and ⁓ I had a guru. mean, when say I had a guru, I was hugely, hugely lucky to be living in the south of India in Goa and ⁓ my parents were ⁓ very steeped in my mum a yoga So she was learning and working with a Swami and I was lucky enough to sort of be Jo Fiddy: Mm. Mala Monteam Ungelson: out and about and around with her and also the schools that were set up, they all have this organic layer of peace to them. And when I say peace, it was this grounding sense of, mean, it's no word of a lie. My lived experience is sitting under a banyan tree as a child with somebody with some tubblers going like this. And I know, and it was something that I buried for so long because the West was not really ready for that or they... Jo Fiddy: Yeah. ⁓ wow. Mala Monteam Ungelson: saw it as being something very different, my name, all of those things. So actually being able to utilize mirror time because in the West when my grandma caught me looking in a mirror, she would be like, don't be conceited, don't, you know, they had this kind of feeling of you looking at yourself. Whereas for me, it was much more a connection. Whereas I'd been told to look into my eyes to connect with myself and my soul. And I'd had these kind of mirrors. Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: can be very deceiving. They can give you a lot of sort of anxiety, but if you learn to embrace a mirror and you don't look at the breakout here or the something here, you actually look into your eyes, you go inward very quickly and you can sort of feel, especially looking at that heart does make you want to touch your heart center. So using the mirror, using the tapping, using all these things, you're getting to what I find that frightening word meditation. Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: And I think a lot of women, men, women feel very frightened that they've, I'm not good at that. Whenever I talk about it, people just go, I don't do that. I just don't know. don't, because how do know you're doing it right? How do know you're in the right space? So using your mirror means that your eyes can be open and you have this natural focus. I think that's really important. You know, ⁓ many sort of you know, ⁓ Jo Fiddy: Mmm. Mala Monteam Ungelson: That of Eastern wisdom comes from sitting in a room with a candle, finding solace of some kind. So for few minutes in the morning, ⁓ even if you're... I try to say things. So if you say three things of gratitude, three things ⁓ about yourself that you like, but you them into your eyes, you're kind of making yourself your own beauty best friend, ⁓ that's what mirror time's about. Jo Fiddy: I adore that. I adore that. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: I get emotional about it because I honestly think women have kind of they've neglected themselves but with this but with lack with all these comments that we were told you know I remember my grandma saying to me when I was younger you don't get what you want Marley you'll get what you need oh that didn't sound like great but don't count your chickens before they hatch oh great don't get too big for your boots it was all like a bit I don't know when Jo Fiddy: you Yeah. Yes. Yes. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Maybe because they came out the war, maybe there was that lack, but I want you to stand in the mirror and look in your eyes and say, I haven't given up on my dreams. I haven't given up on who I am because I think it's a second ⁓ coming, isn't it, midlife? Especially for women, because we really feel something changing if you embrace it. Jo Fiddy: is. Yeah, I really love this. And I think what's so incredible, and I want to go more deeper into this as your role as a midlife beauty mentor, because there really is a disconnect. We are obsessed with the youth culture. You know, we look at, we look at their advertising campaigns, we look at everything in the world and it's, look at the marketing or their fashion adverts and you've got your 20 somethings, you might have your 30 somethings. And yes, it is coming through slightly, but Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yeah! Jo Fiddy: when you're looking at yourself and how you feel about yourself and your body confidence, we haven't had growing up the role models. And then is it any wonder that we are standing in front of a mirror? And I love what you do like using that mirror to become your own best friend. Because I think for a lot of women, we naturally potentially look at the mirror as a foe, as a way to actually beat ourselves up because of the beliefs that we have about ourselves. Mala Monteam Ungelson: No Yes! Yeah, exactly. And it's the first thing we do in the morning. So putting that together doesn't really kind of work, does it? It kind of gives us that sort of unfamiliar, you know, you're sort of unfamiliar with yourself you shouldn't be. I think we all look at ourselves. ⁓ There's a great statistic women are still putting on their makeup the way they were putting on their makeup. Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: No. And don't you know what? Jo Fiddy: I'm, we're giggling. If you can't hear, we're giggling. I've got my hands over my face because I hear, I hear the step. Say again. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: you time flies doesn't it I mean I've got a 22 year old daughter and I feel like I had her yesterday so why would I not be wearing the same makeup as yesterday which was 22 years ago but what I did and if my friends are listening to this they will know who they are so I grabbed a couple of their phones we were away on this fabulous trip to Barcelona and they were telling me all about these influences that they watch and stuff like this and I was like girls can I I can I just say something to you You're watching women who are like 15 years younger than you. And that's beautiful and wonderful and diversity. And I love youth. I literally, young people are my thing. I love them because let's not make the mistakes that we all made by not connecting with ourselves like mirror time. They are so much better at it. But I had to say to them, look at all of these amazing women and you need to follow some of them. And don't get me wrong. Jo Fiddy: Absolutely. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: didn't unfollow all the other influencers, but what they did do was take on board what I was saying because no one had actually shown them or they'd, you know, you've got young kids, you see all these people, the people that jump up on your feed, et cetera, but they're not necessarily aligned or relatable and they're not necessarily going to give you good self-worth. Jo Fiddy: Absolutely, absolutely. There's actually something I also say to clients when I'm working with them and friends. It's like, don't look at the women who are 15, 20 years younger than you on Instagram. Look to the incredible women in front of you who are leading the way, the trailblazers and look over there. And I think that does such an incredible piece to your mindset. I want to talk more about your midlife beauty mentor and your philosophy behind make up your face and make up your mind. Tell me more about that and how you got started into this as well. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yes! 60, ⁓ my god exactly! The pioneers. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. my kids used to say to me, you've called yourself very makeup man, but mum, let's be honest, you don't actually wear makeup. I was like, no I do. And they were like, no, you collect makeup, mum. I was like, no, I don't, I wear makeup. And they were like, but you wear, you don't look like. So it came out of this thing, I have chosen to embrace my face in the way that suits what I look like and what makes me feel pretty. And if I wear a full face of makeup, I don't feel pretty. I feel like the makeup is pretty, but the girl behind it isn't. And I'm a very big believer in the mask. And when I work with women, say to them, let's change three products. Let's talk about ⁓ doing in a very small implementable way, ⁓ because you not ⁓ start recognize yourself or like yourself without those implementations. It's a tread carefully game. If you see women that heavy dark eyeliner, it's really hard to get it off them because it's something that if you said to Claudia Winkleman tomorrow, you're not wearing that, she would probably just, I would love to meet her and do that. But anyway, it's on my list. It's on my list. but when you take away that, don't get me wrong, I think she looks fabulous, but I'm just saying that you can't see yourself without those things. So ⁓ we to make. Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: good choices, we need to go slowly and making up your face in the morning gives you that minute of mindset time. So you're yet again in the mirror looking at yourself, let's be positive, let's find three positive things about your face because it's very easy to find 133 negative things. So I kind of suggest that you then use makeup. as a way to enhance uplift and enjoy because colour brings happy and you're putting colour onto your face. do think that what you put into your head and what put onto your face is what you're going to take out for the rest of the day. It's what people are going to see and what's going to be Jo Fiddy: Absolutely. Mala Monteam Ungelson: the energy that you bring so if you can even use sometimes my little Indian bells as I start because it just sort of like it just sort of whacks me into that using a bit of smell using I found this fabulous fabulous fabulous mist I'm obsessed with mist Jo Fiddy: Yep. Mala Monteam Ungelson: I tend to spray it spritz my face first thing in the morning and it's awakening. It's rejuvenating and it starts that ritual it is a ritual. It's like ⁓ standing and doing a yoga pose, which ⁓ I my life with my mother in a or standing in some other beautiful pose. But what I wanted was to take what I'd seen, what known bring it to the beauty world. So I do wear makeup, I do love makeup, I embrace makeup but I just think that you should use it cunningly and cleverly and basically to enhance not to mask. Jo Fiddy: Yeah, ⁓ You're talking about rituals ⁓ and also had the spray ⁓ and then you're looking in the mirror and you're consciously deciding how you want be this day, taking that aligned action. Who am I going to be today? Playing with it, pressing play on that, ⁓ on how you want to feel in yourself in midlife because ⁓ we don't have expiry date. We can still play with makeup and play with we want to feel. ⁓ Talk me through how you bring rapid tapping. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yes! Yup! Yes. Yes. No! Jo Fiddy: created by our wonderful mentor, Poppy Delbridge. Mala Monteam Ungelson: So I, think what's so lovely about what she's created is it's a, instantaneous tool and I have a real issue with things that are not given to people. I think it's really important that as women we share and if we're going to share we share tools which is exactly what Poppy's done. she's crafted something just slots in. me personally it slots for the beginning, the end of my sessions and also I create out of them videos for their ⁓ for makeup tutorials which are totally bespoke to each individual client ⁓ and where rapid tapping ⁓ is a wonderful wonderful skill because I say to you take your fingers out with you they're your confidence, you know? ⁓ So me, it gives possibility. And I love the fact that we say, especially to women who have worn... a real mask of makeup. I can actually get to ⁓ what they're feeling, why they're feeling. Now let's affirm some new possibilities and rewrite that beauty mask. Jo Fiddy: Now, definitely, and it's just, there's new possibilities and there's new possibilities to be yourself or whatever it is that you're holding onto, just tapping in the morning, speaking kindly to yourself, releasing anything that's holding you back and tapping in your affirmations and it also supports your nervous system rapid tapping. So you go out feeling just calm, confident, ready to seize the day. I always say, put that crown back on, Queen Asia. It's like, let's go, let's go. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yeah. hugely. I love that. I love that. Jo Fiddy: did you decide ⁓ I want to work the midlife beauty space as a mentor and I really want to rally the queen ages now? Mala Monteam Ungelson: Okay, so back in November 2023, I was invited to enter a beauty awards for influencers under 20k and I was like, okay, so what's my niche? Because they're all going to be super young, etc. And I think it was where I kind of decided, hang on a minute, this is where I'm going to start some kind of a change. This is where my main focus is on. This is what I'm going through. And then thinking, why don't I use my lived experience and throw it all sort of like, or flip it upside down and to kind of, you know, the queen age, the golden pill, the gold standard, you know, we want the gold standard. Well, this is my gold journey. So it was all about sort of like trying to sort of piece together those things that were gonna, if they made me feel uplifted and it made me feel like it was possible. I just wanted something with legs that women could sort of attach themselves to with. confidence and say, do you know what, I am going to spend more time on skincare. I am going to look after my skin barrier. am going to, you know, when I say to women, do you feel like your skin gets drier and drier throughout the day? You know, especially when you see women of a certain age wearing foundation and that's because your skin is eating every bit of moisture within your makeup. using all these gorgeous creams and fluids on your cheeks, I was laughing with a faceless friend of mine and we were saying, Jo Fiddy: Yes. Wow. Mala Monteam Ungelson: they just get eaten. Like literally this these cheeks are eating blusher because it disappears. That's why I say ⁓ love creams and I do think creams and liquids are so much better because they give you the lip from within look ⁓ if you use a tiny bit of powder on the top of them you're setting them but also what you're doing is you're ⁓ the pop of colour that you see that four hours later when you're walking down the road and you catch yourself in the mirror you're like ⁓ where where did they go? Jo Fiddy: Yeah. This is everything. We have questions. There is a list. There's been conversations in the WhatsApp chat. I feel you're leading us beautifully on because this is really powerful because this is what we want to know about our face because before we were putting on products and I'm to go there, you know, as you were saying earlier and I've covered my face. So tell me the statistic again. What was the stat you were going to say about wearing makeup? Mala Monteam Ungelson: Please. think it's 68 % of women are still wearing products or application the same as when they were in their late teens, early twenties, when they first started wearing makeup. I think it's something like that. Jo Fiddy: I basically learned how to wear my makeup in the ⁓ 90s in boots, in rimble, and just plastering it over my face. That was the look and the vibe I was going for. Mala Monteam Ungelson: I was a Ruby and Millie girl through and through. I was obsessed. I still have them. And in fact, when I meet Ruby Hammer at events, I get a bit starstruck But makeup on those counters was just insane, wasn't it? And then you had bourgeois. Jo Fiddy: I completely agree. Yeah, yes, And I mean, for me personally, ⁓ Mac really came for me. So guess in my ⁓ late 20s, I got into Mac, had some Mac makeovers, learned more about that. ⁓ And then really it was the end. And I was asking some friends before I was coming on to see you and I said I was having you on the pod. The questions were coming in and a lot of them were, how do I wear makeup now? Just like you were saying, I wear makeup in the morning and then it's gone by a couple of hours. so what products we should be wearing and also. You see a lot, are we supposed to be wearing our eyeshadow higher? How do we take care of our eyebrows? What's happening with the blush? I mean, there's many, many questions, but I think it's really interesting to talk about that, but also what younger beauty routines are we holding onto that we kind of need to let go of? Mala Monteam Ungelson: think foundation, to be honest with you, is one of those huge myths. I'm really into spotting and dotting, which means that you utilize your coverage for where it's needed. What you don't do is you don't just think to yourself, look, I see these girls out and don't get me wrong, they are like porcelain faces and they're absolutely beautiful and wonderful and in a photograph. But if you see what these faces on Alderwyn, they look very chalky, very dry and I don't beat around the bush, that's what it will look like. You can keep spraying this on and other hydrants, I mean, especially Jo Fiddy: Mm. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: one of the most expensive one, the Augustinus Bada one, which is beautiful. And I bought myself an Apple recently. It is amazing, but even that will only give you, ⁓ you know, that kind of useful kind of glow on top of your makeup for an hour. And then it will dry out again because, you know, it's all about your skincare and your prep and protecting your barrier, making sure that you're using lots of peptides and ceramides and sandwiching. Sandwiching means that you're putting on a shield. as the last step of your nighttime routine so that you don't go through, well you know about water loss within the night and sweating. So that transdermal water loss affects your skin face-wise as well. So if you're using something like hyaluronic, you need to know and understand what hyaluronic acid does because if you don't have anything, like you don't put it on with damp fingers and your face is not slightly damp beforehand, you are allowing that product to kind of Jo Fiddy: Okay. Mala Monteam Ungelson: draw the water to this top of the surface which is wonderful and plumping but three days later you've got no moisture down in those lower epidermal layers. I think there's a lot of myths you know instant is wonderful instant is great when it's mood lifting instant when it comes to skincare can sometimes have ⁓ some you've just got to think ⁓ common where is it drawing from what are the what are the implications of this ⁓ so I a big Jo Fiddy: Mm. Mala Monteam Ungelson: issue with kind of marketing ⁓ mania and filling gaps and money, making money out of midlife women really, and utilizing words like menopause and and medical grade and this sort of thing, I look at companies, some of the French skincare companies and they are so explicit when they, when they talk about how many people ⁓ they've used for their Jo Fiddy: Yeah, absolutely. Mala Monteam Ungelson: et cetera. And then you go to other ones which don't give that kind of information. I know where I'd prefer to be. ⁓ know, some of these giants been there for years. Their research, their background, their knowledge is second to none. ⁓ And then you have ones come out that are founder led ⁓ and that is a beautiful to be. ⁓ So ⁓ I can ⁓ you women who created skincare brands because of their own lived experience, their own issues, ⁓ you know. ⁓ Jo Fiddy: Yes. Mala Monteam Ungelson: and they're where your beauty benefits lay. When it comes to hormonal skin, ceramides, peptides, niacinamide, there are lots and lots of ingredients, but what we need to do is know what it is that our skin needs because just because there's 48 symptoms of menopause doesn't mean you've got them all. You might have always had dry skin. Majority of women that say to me, I've got menopausal, I'm really dry, I'm like, Have you always had dry, well I've had dry areas. So it's normally an exacerbation. Jo Fiddy: That's really interesting. Mala Monteam Ungelson: It is, isn't it? Because I think sometimes we have to step back and think, is this just my skin or is this a menopausal thing? So I think it's identifying those things and using products that work for your skin, not for your friend, which is where I come in. To have a beauty friend is something very unique in its essence because I send everyone a skin to view and I find out what you're using makeup wise, what you're doing so you can then Jo Fiddy: Yes. Mala Monteam Ungelson: take advantage of my skillset so I can then reevaluate and give you some small expurgations of products that can give you real kind of focus for skin issues like hormonal balancing. But when it comes to makeup placement, I think has been our biggest problem. Trends are brilliant. Be careful with trends because they're not always for... Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Mm. Mala Monteam Ungelson: for older they're for kind of younger faces like, ⁓ but you can wear eyeliner, you can wear blush, but you should try to look to put it here to there rather than bagging it into these areas here. So you lift ⁓ Jo Fiddy: Yeah. So how would you describe that? So you say if someone was listening to the podcast, they couldn't see you, how would you describe that would be on the face? Mala Monteam Ungelson: Okay, so you would sort of like, where the apples of your cheeks are, you want to look to putting it at the, just the edge as if you were going to go up your cheekbone towards your hairline. ⁓ And you sort of like take it that way, rather than, you can bang it as well if you just sort of like bang a little bit onto your sort of like apples of your cheeks and then sweeping it upwards and towards sort of like your eye. brow and where your hairline is, you will find that your lift face that much more. And as much as I wanted to dismiss the technique of popping a bit on the bridge of your nose, when it comes to summer and it comes to connection of where the sun hits you on those high points, it makes such a difference. So you can sweep your blush across your eyelids as well, just for that little bit of extra. It brings all your makeup together. are some really simple things that you can do which really give you ⁓ little bit of elevation. So ⁓ a makeup multiple stick is something that I am a huge fan of. Most companies do them, ⁓ but give you the option to be able to put a little bit on your lips, on your cheeks and on your ⁓ eyes well. And you're kind of all coordinated. Jo Fiddy: ⁓ love it. Less is more. I think this is just so fantastic to have these conversations, because I know that we're all swapping tips. We're all finding out. We're all trying to find our confidence as we go through the midlife journey when our hair might be changing. And like I said, I love that, like taking a step back and thinking, is it really changing as much as I feel it is? You my hair, how I'm really feeling. And I think we just talked a little bit, but a bit more about you talk about resetting and rejuvenating and reinventing. What does reinvention look like in a way that feels authentic rather than overwhelming? Mala Monteam Ungelson: think reinvention comes you the start of wanting to do, be or think in a slightly different way. I think it starts from something. ⁓ if can, ⁓ even things like taking, ⁓ one lady was saying to me, I just want to look ⁓ slightly different, look slightly more elevated, less kind of ⁓ how people see me. they look at... Jo Fiddy: Mmm. Mala Monteam Ungelson: And when she said to me, said, so they just look at me differently, that they don't just see me as the person they've always seen me as. And I was like, well, look, you wear red lipstick. It's a big statement, red lipstick. And don't get me wrong, I'm not telling everyone who wears red lipstick to take it off. But I said to her, why don't we try something with a softer sort of glossier kind of a, still got a hint of a, in fact, we went for a Rihanna one. it's like a red gloss, but because it's a gloss. it's got a lot less pigment to it. So she felt like she was like, ⁓ she went, love the feel of it. I like it's something new. What she wasn't was dangerously different to what she looked like because that's who she is. She's kind of made the red lipstick part of her. And I think a lot of the time we do that, like people who've worn their hair in a bob for years or had a quiff or, whatever it is, you kind of get stuck in that thing and you're frightened to kind of to change that. Taking all the makeup off, you'd be amazed at. Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: we're beginning to look at skin and actually identify that actually some of these like things that we've been trying to cover are actually really lovely. You know, a bit of rosy cheeks that yes, like someone said, I've got terrible rosacea. said, so let's it work to your advantage. Why are we hiding it on the days we don't, you know, was tiny bits of sort of like red here. said, but if we use something that goes together, all of a sudden you're enhancing what you have rather than trying to cover it. and feeling like it's a problem and being aware of it throughout the day. Jo Fiddy: yeah, it goes back to, ⁓ and again and again, I keep thinking about looking in the mirror and looking in your own eyes ⁓ and just seeing yourself before you start the and being so kind to yourself. There's a quote, when you are at war with your body, you are at war with yourself. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yeah, that's my... Yes, yes, I think you are your own sort of like battlefield, definitely. And I think we all need the confidence, but you get that confidence not always from your friend group, but from things that you've gone outside of, things that you've gone on a journey and other people ⁓ are looking for that kind of journey as You build your own confidence. So when you make that statement within your friend groups, within your sort of like your social circles, your reference groups, all of a sudden you come from a point of no question. There's just, this is what I've done. And I think that when you come to things with a, when you've already acknowledged it, embraced it and you're affirming it, ⁓ no one questions But the minute you start being questioned is where ⁓ those little imps fears and all that sort of like questioning comes in. So. ⁓ I'm not saying don't ask, but try to be a little bit more grounded in your own essence and self and utilise the people that can support you on that journey. Jo Fiddy: Beautiful. it is, it's take it, can take up space in this chapter, this era that we are in and what I would love and I'm starting to do it more. And my friends who talk about it is to stop apologizing for our appearance. How many times would you meet your friends and the minute we come in, ⁓ I'm sorry, I've got, I'm sorry. It's that just, yeah, just I think if we can as a collective, just stop apologizing for our appearance. That's just one. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yeah, I haven't got my makeup on. Jo Fiddy: huge step towards self-love, isn't it? That we don't have to apologize for how we show up and for who we are. And I love how you blend mindfulness with makeup so beautifully. I really, really do. And the methods that you use, I just love it. And I'm so happy you're on this pod. What are your personal non-negotiables that help you feel radiant from the inside out? Mala Monteam Ungelson: Thank you. Thank you. Okay, so I've got a few and I will be sharing all these products, et cetera, where I kindly, Joe will be telling you, but these red light things, I get asked all the time, are they worth it? they not worth it? Should I get one? Should I not get one? So I've tested quite a few out and I have to say that when it comes to, if you have skin treatments, if you do micro needling on that level, they will help to speed up recovery. Jo Fiddy: Fantastic. Mala Monteam Ungelson: that much quicker, which is why when you go to facialists, they utilize red light after you have certain treatments to give the skin that boost, to give those cells that look, we slow down, we become a bit sluggish in ourselves and in ourselves. So I think that that in itself, skin rejuvenation and replenish like six to eight weeks. So if you can utilize ⁓ light with all the lovely Jo Fiddy: Okay. Mala Monteam Ungelson: with all products and you put it as part of your weekly, I suggest you use it between three and four times in any one week if you can. some weeks I use it once a week, I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes it's even too big an effort to get off my bed and to get it where it's hung up on my back of my door. That just seems too much of an effort. And what I am is realistic. So I can tell you exactly what it is that you should do, but I also live in the Jo Fiddy: Okay. Mala Monteam Ungelson: But the one thing that I say is if you're gonna buy anything, you have to commit and be Because with anything to do with skincare, ⁓ and I have one client and she won't mind me saying this, she always says to she goes, not really working. And I go, how many days have you done it for? She goes, well, you know, I'm like, no, Jane, no. Right. And we always, and I always laugh about it with her, need to make things humorous. You need to give people that sort of like the ⁓ out of jail free card because you ⁓ ⁓ don't agree with not taking your makeup off at night. But ⁓ you are on a train with your kids and you got makeup and you didn't, ⁓ look, life is life, know, and ⁓ you're living. But as a rule of thumb, ⁓ consistency and utilizing some of these amazing modalities that are out there. Jo Fiddy: you Mala Monteam Ungelson: are really, really worth it. And sticking to a skincare routine that actually helps your skin, like using a liquid exfoliator up to three times a week, you know, ⁓ at ⁓ in a different kind of a way, making sure that ⁓ like, ⁓ biggest thing, I think, is hydration. I think I'm always on a quest for moisture at the age that we are ⁓ 40. ⁓ know, utilizing... Jo Fiddy: Yeah, me too. Mala Monteam Ungelson: you the creams that you finish with rub them on the backs of your hands just silly things you know because we forget our hands and you know I say to people look ⁓ should I get hand cream I'm like well yeah if you're going to use it but if you're not going to use it it's going to sit by your bed you know don't buy it Jo Fiddy: So many, I have such an optimistic hand creamer. I have them everywhere. I don't use them Mala Monteam Ungelson: ⁓ Jo Fiddy: Yeah, yeah. And I love it. And it's just like, just moisturize your hands. Keep it simple and consistency. And for someone who feels like lost in sea of products and expectations, ⁓ what's the simplest first step they can take get back to feeling like herself again, if someone's just feeling a bit. Mala Monteam Ungelson: I think serums and things that you use, I think they're like vitamins and skin food, moisturisers are something that help you to be able to move your face, especially if you live in London like I do with the hard water. So ⁓ think ⁓ main thing is inside, it's inside out as well. think if if eat well and you drink lots of water, which I do think is a really big thing when it comes to sort of like cellular renewal and anything else that you're doing for yourself, but ⁓ I think wise, if you've got something like a vitamin C that you're using, but a gentle vitamin C, something that helps to brighten your skin, that helps your skin to look less sluggish, or a liquid exfoliator that gives your skin a brightening effect. You know, there are some really gorgeous, beautiful serums out there, which I tend to say like one of the biggest ones that is Renewal, which is by Estee Lauder has been one of those cult. kind of in its sort of burgundy brownish, but it does have its moment and it really does and can give your skin a bit of a kick. But if you continue just using it, your skin sort of like plateaus and that's what happens with these things. So you've got the benefit out of that product, put it away, Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: And I'm a huge believer in advanced facials and natural ⁓ utilization of people's skill sets, which will ⁓ endeavor to make ⁓ massive impact. For example, I'm actually working on Fusion 8 at the moment, which hot and cold plasma, which creates warm plasma, ⁓ is ⁓ a treatment that ⁓ I'm undertaking the moment. going to do sessions and each one is over six week period, but it kickstarts your skin to do what it should do sort of naturally. And there's no downtime. Whereas if you see some of these hot plasmas, you see the little bits of I can only explain that that goes across the skin you watch the skin sort of concertina I had mine done ten days ago and I've got no redness I've got because for me don't want do things which are going to be ⁓ you know it me to have a bright red kind of very sore looking ⁓ sort of face ⁓ Jo Fiddy: Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Mala Monteam Ungelson: choose to do things and review things that I think would be worthy ⁓ my skin and others as well. And it gives people, ⁓ don't disbelieve in Botox. I am a big believer in ⁓ skin choices. And I think that that's where you can support women, but you can suggest like, ⁓ work with a facialist who I think is out of this world, the alternative facialist, she's amazing. ⁓ what she does is she says, you might have been a Botox user. Jo Fiddy: Mm-hmm. Mala Monteam Ungelson: But what about thinking about using other modalities now? Because what you've done is you've slowed down that process. And I think it's a really interesting, interesting thing that women, didn't, Shane, in my 30s, 40s, I didn't do that. But if I had, I would probably not have made the kind of indents that I have with my breakdancing forehead expressions. So I think that there is a way of looking at beauty and the treatments that are out there. sort of like blending modalities coming away from things which have worked and have created and given you so much benefit over the years, but now you can use other methods, which I think is really interesting as things constantly move forward. Jo Fiddy: Yeah, I love that. it's given women a choice. Because I think with women, and I love that, because think sometimes we're damned if we do, damned if we don't, and it's having a choice. Yeah, and what I love about your work is that you're allowing women to have this pause, to look at themselves, feel good within themselves, use rapid tapping, and how you blend mindfulness with working with inner and outer beauty, even the inside out. So you have that, feel it's like with working with you, it's like that. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, rock and hard place. Jo Fiddy: internal glow up, where it's just from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. And that's how you want to feel. Because I think we don't want to look 20 years younger. We just want to feel more radiant. We just want to feel good. That's all we want to have. We want to feel good about ourselves. Mala Monteam Ungelson: No. Yeah. Yeah. mean, Yeah, I I, I, I bring my whole self, my whole self and all the things that I think are, you know, inspiring and enhancing and help to sort of motivate women to just even do something really simple like, you know, utilizing eyeliner, not putting it on the top, utilizing it on your wet, lifting up your lashes and putting it just slightly under here because you'll find that it naturally imprints onto your lower one so you don't have to worry about those it does it itself and also what you're doing is not closing down the eye because if I if I put it on the top of my eyelids and it's it gets thicker and a little bit thicker and a little bit thicker as I make more of them all of a sudden I've got eyes that are closed like this and very vampy whereas ⁓ in daytime I want my eyes to look more open I don't want to add to the hoodedness so it's just little things like that and using highlighter in points and places where you don't look like a glitter ball, although I love your glitter balls but one on my face. there are some great ways like looking at the top of your lip, I've got it on today, so you can just a little bit of highlighter on your top lip, it's like instead of lip liner. If you have or you feel like your nose is not straight, just put a little bit really softly, do not go to the end and end up like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer with a Belisha beacon. Jo Fiddy: Hahaha. Yeah. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Be careful. But these little things under your brow, it just lifts. Doing those small tiny things in your ⁓ and looking at your face, you elevate instantly. ⁓ illuminating. using, I am a big lover of multiple makeup sticks. I think you can. ⁓ get so much out of them and from the Lady Gaga's to Nas to Rare Beauty to YSL to Victoria Beckham, they all do them. So you can find your perfect multitasker. Jo Fiddy: Wow, how do we sign up? So how can we find you? I'll put it in the show notes as well. Tell me where we can find you. Mala Monteam Ungelson: Do we find me? Well, I'm daily on Instagram, so you can always chat with me. I'm always happy to schedule in a free discovery call. I love talking beauty fueled-ness. I just think things like that when you hear them from another woman who is a lived experience and that's what she's doing, you can take so much. It's like collagen. Women talk about collagen. What one should I take? This one, that one. Well, you know, find one that's got peptides. Find one that's got marine and bovine because you want all of those things. And I will be giving my suggestions because they're my lived experience. My skin is your proof. So that's how I work. with women who want to navigate a new and natural journey to enhancement. So consultations in person, online, and you get a lot of support and a lot of videos. Jo Fiddy: Wonderful, wonderful. And I have to ask, I'm asking all guests that come on the show, what are you pressing play on next? Mala Monteam Ungelson: Okay, well, I think I'm pressing play on my events and presenting. So watch this space, which is exciting. So, yeah, and I think that it will be really lovely for me to ⁓ alongside other women who I suggest my clients should go to with ⁓ breathwork and ⁓ confidence and ⁓ together and also ⁓ my thing, like I said to you before we went online is that Together we shine brighter and more and more women need to learn to put their arms around each other by joining rapid tapping is where you start to feel those essence. Where am I going to get that group? Where am I going to get that kind of support? So dipping your toe in the water, giving women a forum to sit with other women who are your friends by definition, just because you're there for the same purpose. So I feel that you have something in common. You've landed in the same room together. Jo Fiddy: definitely. Mala Monteam Ungelson: and let's connect and help each other to shine brighter and to find our voice. Jo Fiddy: Definitely, and I think in this, the way the world is, think women, we're rising into our power. It's time that we really rose into our power and stepped into the wisdom that is within us. ⁓ it has been such a joy to have you on the podcast. Thank you so, so, so much. I will put all the notes the show notes ⁓ and you'll see at the bottom. And thank you again for coming. It's just been an utter joy. Mala Monteam Ungelson: ⁓ thank you. My absolute pleasure. Uplift is a gift. And I think that if we can do that, mind, body and soul and utilize the mirror first thing in the morning, that is my biggest tip. Jo Fiddy: Thank so much.