Latest / Mom Gone Mild / Personal Goals: Soft Wins + Big Dreams

Transcript

Personal Goals: Soft Wins + Big Dreams · Mom Gone Mild

• 0:10
  Hi guys, and welcome to Mom Gone Mild.
• 0:13
  I'm Lex, your host, and as you can tell, I have no one as a
• 0:18
  guest today, but it's OK. I'm a little nervous.
• 0:22
  And if you're listening to this on Spotify, you're probably
• 0:25
  like, what is she talking about? I'm recording right now for
• 0:28
  YouTube, so let's get into it. I showed up and that's what
• 0:33
  matters. All right.
• 0:35
  So I feel like we are always, I mean, we're kind of talking
• 0:40
  about like some heavy stuff and of course that's always
• 0:43
  important. Mental health is a huge thing to
• 0:46
  me, as you know, but I kind of want to talk about like the
• 0:50
  positive things that have happened because I sorry, I keep
• 0:55
  moving the mic. I told you, I'm a little
• 0:56
  nervous, but I just feel like a lot of people make resolutions
• 1:04
  and goals for like January 1st. It must be done, it must be
• 1:07
  done. But how many of us have actually
• 1:09
  not started those goals? I mean, we might want to, but
• 1:14
  things happen, life happens, Life's crazy.
• 1:17
  Whether you have a new job, whether you have a new baby,
• 1:21
  whether just your life is just constantly changing.
• 1:24
  So it's OK Be graceful with yourself.
• 1:28
  You don't always have to, you know, obviously set goals, but
• 1:33
  it's not like do or die. Honestly, it'll be OK if you
• 1:37
  start February 1st, March 1st, Monday on a Sunday, whatever you
• 1:43
  choose. And so I kind of just want to
• 1:46
  celebrate the good things that have happened to me because I
• 1:50
  know I've talked in the past about my postpartum anxiety, my
• 1:53
  postpartum depression, just how it's been really hard on me kind
• 1:59
  of getting back to me. And I feel like the movement
• 2:02
  right now is like, get your pink back.
• 2:05
  That's kind of why I have everything pink.
• 2:08
  So basically it means like getting yourself back, getting
• 2:12
  that self-confidence, trying to achieve it.
• 2:15
  You might not get it right away and that's OK.
• 2:18
  I have days sometimes where it's just my goal is to shower and
• 2:25
  have a happy baby. And if those two are achieved,
• 2:28
  I'm fine with it. But I'm more talking about like
• 2:32
  the bigger achievements that I've done since having Axel.
• 2:36
  Of course, the first main 1 is this podcast.
• 2:41
  I started this podcast because I was really in a dark place.
• 2:47
  I just kind of wanted to vent. And I just feel like, you know,
• 2:50
  talking to my friends about it was good.
• 2:53
  But, you know, also like mom groups really helped me feel
• 2:57
  like I wasn't alone. So I thought, OK, well, if
• 3:02
  that's working out for me, maybe someone listens to this podcast
• 3:05
  and it really helps them throughout their day, throughout
• 3:08
  their week. This isn't just for moms.
• 3:11
  I always reiterate that. But yeah, it's for everyone.
• 3:15
  So let's talk more about those achievements that I've done.
• 3:19
  I've don't, you know what? No, I am.
• 3:23
  I am going to brag because I feel like I came from a really
• 3:26
  dark place. So today I just kind of want to
• 3:32
  brag and you should too if you have achieved anything.
• 3:35
  If you haven't achieved anything, fuck it.
• 3:38
  Just be proud of yourself. You're up.
• 3:42
  That's all that matters. So like I said, I started this
• 3:45
  podcast. I have lost 50 lbs since
• 3:48
  childbirth. Mind you, I was already a little
• 3:51
  bit of a big girl before, so it's not like I'm super thin,
• 3:55
  skinny, but and then I also had the preeclampsia and all that
• 3:59
  good stuff. So I was like literally like I'm
• 4:04
  a nurse. So edema, but like basically
• 4:06
  fluid overload, you know, a wasn't like so much that I was
• 4:12
  like trying to lose weight. It was just I wanted to get
• 4:15
  really healthy for Axel because, you know, I'm older, I'm 36, so
• 4:21
  I know that's not that old, but I feel like for me, I'm like
• 4:24
  really tired. I'm I, I make up a lot of
• 4:28
  excuses as to when I don't walk all the time.
• 4:32
  Why I don't like, you know, just, I guess take better care
• 4:37
  of myself, eating healthier. But now I'm like making those
• 4:41
  kind of choices, eat healthier, you know, things like that.
• 4:46
  Definitely I need to exercise more.
• 4:49
  But you know, little goals first, little goals.
• 4:54
  So yeah, another huge thing was, I think I've said this in the
• 4:58
  past, I'm a full time Hospice case manager, so I was really
• 5:05
  contemplating if I should even go back to work.
• 5:08
  Of course, this is California. Well, I live in California and
• 5:12
  it is expensive, so I wish I could be a stay at home mom.
• 5:17
  I no way think that it's easier, but I just love spending time
• 5:21
  with Axel and it's just been amazing, honestly.
• 5:24
  I've been on maternity leave now for six months.
• 5:26
  I know I'm really lucky. I know not everyone has that
• 5:30
  kind of luxury. But anyways, I am going to start
• 5:35
  going back to work effective in February.
• 5:38
  So I'm pretty sad about that. But to be honest, I'm just
• 5:41
  grateful for the time I had with Axel because I know most people
• 5:45
  don't have that and I'm very lucky.
• 5:48
  And I have a husband that takes care of us and, you know, it's
• 5:51
  just very blessed. But I was going to go full time
• 5:56
  back, you know, the doing the 9:00 to 5:00 and just, you know,
• 6:02
  Monday through Friday. But I actually now I'm going to
• 6:07
  be doing hybrid. So I'm going to be working 3
• 6:09
  days in the office, 2 days at home, which is amazing to me
• 6:13
  because honestly I couldn't imagine having a job where I
• 6:17
  work all 5 days of the week and then just see him on the
• 6:20
  weekends. There's nothing wrong with that.
• 6:23
  I just know myself and I probably would just be like
• 6:27
  peace and like leave. That was just like a hard
• 6:30
  decision too because I have worked so hard to get where I'm
• 6:35
  at. I don't know if you know this,
• 6:36
  but being an LVN, pretty much the highest thing you can be as
• 6:40
  a case manager. So for me, you know, my career
• 6:44
  was really important. And I just feel like that way I
• 6:47
  don't lose like that part of myself because in motherhood
• 6:53
  I've noticed. And of course, I can't speak for
• 6:55
  everyone, but just doing little things for myself really helps
• 7:01
  me stay grounded, really helps me kind of not feel that
• 7:05
  depression anymore and not feel like I'm kind of stuck.
• 7:09
  And I don't mean it like I'm stuck with my baby.
• 7:12
  I just mean like I'm stuck with basically not having the same
• 7:16
  life I had before. And that made me sad because I
• 7:19
  really worked hard for it and I'm very career driven.
• 7:23
  So that was a huge thing for me. Stuff some other honestly
• 7:27
  achievements, they can be little.
• 7:29
  They don't have to be like life changing experiences or life
• 7:34
  changing, you know, but I have really enjoyed cooking.
• 7:42
  I cook breakfast now. I cook lunch dinner.
• 7:48
  I mean, when my friends are over, my favorite thing is to
• 7:50
  just like host and like make a bunch of food.
• 7:53
  I made Thanksgiving dinner. I also made Christmas Eve
• 7:58
  dinner. So when we go on vacation, I
• 8:01
  love to cook. It's just like it's so I don't
• 8:04
  know, I just love it. Like there's just some kind of
• 8:08
  relaxation that comes from it. I kind of just lose myself in it
• 8:12
  because when I cook, I'm very lucky.
• 8:14
  My husband watches Axel sometimes.
• 8:17
  Of course, I have to put him in the bouncy, but it's fine.
• 8:20
  He's such a good boy. But I will say I still hate
• 8:26
  doing dishes because listen, although we're making
• 8:30
  achievements here, it is not a change of life.
• 8:35
  I've always hated dishes and I probably always will.
• 8:38
  Even though I have a dishwasher. I don't care if they gross me
• 8:41
  out, same as leftovers, but that just might be me.
• 8:49
  So like I said, some days you can be like having the biggest
• 8:55
  achievements, like getting a new job, you know, getting a raise,
• 9:00
  just getting a new car, things like that.
• 9:03
  But sometimes it's just enjoyable to really be in the
• 9:09
  moment and just listen, I got up, I showered, I put makeup on,
• 9:14
  I brush my hair. That's an achievement in itself
• 9:16
  because sometimes there's days where I don't want to do that.
• 9:19
  And you know, sometimes I don't. To be honest, I feel like I talk
• 9:24
  about that all the time because they're probably like, she's
• 9:26
  gross. But you know, another huge
• 9:30
  achievement for me was I talked about this before, but I was
• 9:36
  really anxious of taking my son out of the house.
• 9:39
  I mean, poor guy. He needed like vitamin D drops
• 9:43
  because he wasn't going outside enough.
• 9:45
  But like now I feel more comfortable with like walking
• 9:48
  him outside, just driving him. We just recently went to the
• 9:52
  aquarium. And if you have a baby, he or
• 9:56
  she will love it. He was like, so amazed by
• 10:00
  everything I saw in my life. I thought he said, wow, at one
• 10:04
  point, I'm not making that up. You can ask his dad.
• 10:08
  And it just feels like moments, you know, sometimes we need to
• 10:13
  just slow down. I feel like we're always trying
• 10:16
  to achieve the next goal, you know, do things.
• 10:21
  But sometimes it's OK to just live in that exact moment.
• 10:26
  All right, So this is a huge one for me this year.
• 10:31
  My I have goals, but I also feel like I want to change my
• 10:35
  lifestyle because I want to start living with intention and
• 10:41
  intention basically is like have a meaning for what you do.
• 10:45
  Like I will intentionally buy this clothes for this, but not
• 10:51
  because I want to a splurge or anything like that.
• 10:53
  Reading small goals instead of like creating such a big thing
• 10:59
  out of them. Letting a good day actually be a
• 11:03
  good day. Like I said, just living in the
• 11:06
  moment and all my actions. I just want to release that
• 11:12
  negativity. I want to approach things in
• 11:15
  more of a positive way because unfortunately, I can be a little
• 11:19
  negative. I feel like all of us can.
• 11:22
  It's easy to get into that kind of headspace as opposed to like
• 11:28
  you have to physically think, no, I know that this is a
• 11:30
  negative situation, but how can I make this into a positive?
• 11:33
  And I feel like that's a huge thing for me, especially with,
• 11:37
  you know, everything that I've gone through in the past.
• 11:40
  It's just easier obviously for me to think like negative about
• 11:44
  situations. But definitely positivity is a
• 11:47
  huge thing for me this year. I feel like the other thing is
• 11:52
  sort of like it's a big one, but this, this is a huge one for me.
• 11:55
  So I have always had a lot of friends.
• 12:00
  I've always been like, a very social person and, you know,
• 12:10
  like being social. You get a lot of friends.
• 12:12
  Some of them, you know, are around for a long time, forever,
• 12:17
  but some are just here for, you know, a season, as they say.
• 12:24
  And maybe that was like, the reason for them being there.
• 12:27
  And it's OK for me to start letting go of some people.
• 12:31
  I feel like that's a huge thing. I always try to like keep
• 12:34
  everyone close, but sometimes you just got to like let them
• 12:37
  go, especially if they're not really making an effort.
• 12:41
  I feel that way honestly about everyone.
• 12:44
  It's not just friends, it's family.
• 12:46
  Could be like that too. It can just be like, I don't
• 12:50
  know. I just feel like I want to pour
• 12:52
  in all my energy and love towards the people that show me
• 12:56
  it and it's OK. Like, you know, you grow up, you
• 13:01
  realize, you know, people are in different stages of life and it
• 13:05
  doesn't matter. I mean, you know, like those my
• 13:08
  friends and my family were like important to me and that
• 13:12
  specific, you know, time obviously for a reason because
• 13:16
  they were there for me. But it's OK to grow and just
• 13:19
  basically expand your wings, you know, make new friends, things
• 13:23
  like that. Focus on people that really
• 13:24
  check in on you like weekly, monthly.
• 13:27
  Honestly, I'm not a type to be like, well, to my best friends,
• 13:31
  of course. But like if you like randomly
• 13:34
  like message me on IG or like like my stuff, it's honestly
• 13:40
  like that to me is like reaching out because showing that you
• 13:43
  care and it's like, if you don't, that's fine too.
• 13:46
  I mean, there's no like right or wrong in friendships sometimes,
• 13:51
  you know, it's just wasn't made to last.
• 13:53
  And I'm learning that that's OK. So like I said, like I don't
• 14:04
  want a crowded life of people that aren't willing to give me
• 14:10
  time or space in their life. So let's talk about goals for
• 14:17
  2026. I know it's like February and
• 14:20
  you guys are like, what the heck, It's already been a month.
• 14:22
  But like I said, I'm starting my goals now.
• 14:24
  And that's fine. You can start your goals at any
• 14:26
  time. It's not a big thing.
• 14:28
  Like everyone feels like, oh, it's New Year's Eve.
• 14:31
  You got to do it. You got to do it now.
• 14:33
  Whatever. I do it when I want, when I feel
• 14:35
  like it, when I feel like I can actually achieve them instead
• 14:40
  of, you know, set this goal for myself and then break it because
• 14:44
  I feel like that's even worse than even starting the goal.
• 14:47
  It's just like the disappointment that you feel
• 14:49
  when you don't achieve it or when you just like quit.
• 14:53
  So definitely, definitely I want to lose like another, you know,
• 15:00
  40 lbs and I feel like I'll be comfortable, comfortable in my
• 15:05
  skin because obviously right now, you know, like I have like
• 15:08
  a mom bot and that's OK. But I just want to be healthier
• 15:14
  for Axel and like not get tired when I go on hikes and just
• 15:18
  like, or big walks, like there's a hill by my house that I'm like
• 15:23
  dying at. What I really want to do this
• 15:27
  year is I want to run in a 5K. Have I ever ran?
• 15:32
  No, not even on the treadmill because one time I did and I
• 15:37
  think I lost him maybe 6 seconds and I was like twisting my
• 15:41
  ankle. It was, it's a joke when I run,
• 15:43
  but I feel like this year I feel like a 5K is doable because you
• 15:48
  can either walk it or run it. And I'm not like going to like
• 15:51
  do like a triathlon or something like that.
• 15:53
  So I want to set realistic goals for myself.
• 15:56
  I don't want to set myself up and be like, I'm going to be,
• 16:00
  you know, doing like a huge marathon.
• 16:04
  Like I I already know I'm not going to do that, but A5 Ki feel
• 16:08
  like it's very doable. So another thing, I feel like a
• 16:14
  lot of people have tried this and done it and they have
• 16:16
  amazing results. So me and my husband, we're
• 16:19
  going to start 75 hard in March. And why did I wait this long,
• 16:25
  you might ask? Like, why don't you start in
• 16:27
  January? Why don't you start in February?
• 16:28
  Well, because there's a lot of things going on.
• 16:31
  I already know his birthday is coming up, Valentine's Day.
• 16:35
  We're going to Disneyland. I already know, like, I'm not
• 16:38
  going to be able to stick to no diet or not have a drink if I
• 16:42
  want to. But after that, I feel like, you
• 16:45
  know, like there are things still going on, but I still want
• 16:49
  to, you know, achieve it. And I just want to complete 75
• 16:54
  hard because I know for a fact, like a lot of people have told
• 16:57
  me, like it sucks to restart because once you mess up one
• 17:00
  day, it's like you have to start all the day all over from day
• 17:04
  one. And I want to see those results.
• 17:06
  You guys look amazing when you do it.
• 17:08
  So I want to post a little before and after and yeah, so
• 17:13
  another big thing that I want to achieve this year is we go on
• 17:17
  like little trips here and there, but I really want a
• 17:20
  vacation. I feel like a vacation with Axel
• 17:23
  would be so fun. Just maybe like an, I don't
• 17:27
  know, maybe like going to Mexico to a nice resort or like Hawaii
• 17:32
  would be amazing, something like that.
• 17:35
  And yeah, I mean, that's one of my goals for this year.
• 17:41
  So we kind of talked about like goals that kind of involve other
• 17:46
  people, but personal growth is big as well.
• 17:50
  So I want to basically practice more self love because and like
• 17:56
  realize like how worthy of love that I am every day.
• 18:00
  I feel like it's a struggle for me because sometimes I feel
• 18:04
  like, am I good enough? You know, have I done that
• 18:07
  right? I'm just always doubting myself
• 18:09
  and I just want to be OK with the decisions that I make.
• 18:15
  And yeah, I did have a good day. And yeah, I was kick ass in
• 18:19
  something and just be, like I said, more present. 2026 to me
• 18:27
  personally isn't about being perfect.
• 18:30
  It's about growing and my personal journey.
• 18:34
  My personal journey also involves like my friends, my
• 18:37
  family, my husband, my baby. I just, I, I feel like being
• 18:44
  present is the goal this year for sure.
• 18:48
  And another thing is like, I don't want to have guilt.
• 18:54
  I I'm trying my hardest because I already feel guilty that I'm
• 18:57
  going back to work, even though it's three days a week, but I
• 19:00
  just feel guilty that I have to leave my son.
• 19:06
  And although he's going to be staying with my mother-in-law,
• 19:09
  which she's great and everything, but you know, I wish
• 19:13
  I could be there for every kind of moment he has every, you
• 19:18
  know, day-to-day, but it is what it is.
• 19:21
  Like I said, I don't want to feel guilty about that.
• 19:23
  And I feel like going in hybrid will definitely help that
• 19:27
  situation. And yeah, I really, you guys are
• 19:35
  like, what is she doing? I have notes.
• 19:37
  So because it is a solo podcast, let me tell you, it is really
• 19:42
  difficult because I had been doing solo on like Spotify,
• 19:46
  Amazon, Apple, but doing it on YouTube is a whole different
• 19:50
  thing. And you guys are probably like,
• 19:51
  what is this girl doing? Like I gotta look, I have mom
• 19:55
  brain. OK, so I don't remember some
• 19:58
  things. And if I don't have this laptop,
• 20:01
  I literally will just go rambling, rambling just like I'm
• 20:04
  doing now. So if you're listening and
• 20:09
  enjoying this podcast, you can find Mom Gone Mild on Spotify,
• 20:14
  Amazon, and Apple Podcasts. And if you actually want to see
• 20:19
  my day-to-day, which I post a lot more now and if you guys
• 20:25
  follow me, I will post way more on Instagram and TikTok.
• 20:29
  So my name on Instagram is Mom gone mild under score podcast,
• 20:37
  the same as my TikTok Mom gone mild under score podcast.
• 20:43
  And yeah, so if there is anything that you guys kind of
• 20:48
  want to chat about if hey, I'm looking always for guests.
• 20:53
  So if you want to message me and be like, let me go on girl,
• 20:56
  because here's your seat and it's waiting for you.
• 21:01
  But oh, I also have some exciting news.
• 21:05
  I decided this podcast is always on a Monday at 6:00 AM, but I
• 21:11
  feel like on a Monday at 6:00 AM, people are just like, damn,
• 21:15
  Sunday scary has just happened. The last thing I want to do is
• 21:17
  hear this girl talking about fun stuff, fun life.
• 21:21
  But we are officially moving to Thursdays and I just feel like
• 21:28
  Thursdays is like you're not in weekend mode yet, but you're
• 21:33
  starting to get in weekend mode. And yes, I know I also get
• 21:38
  excited for the weekend and I've lived for the weekend and now
• 21:41
  going back to work, I'm super excited for the weekend.
• 21:45
  So mark your calendars because every Thursday morning I'll be
• 21:49
  dropping a new episode. Also, if you're listening and
• 21:56
  you're in a hard season at the moment, this episode isn't meant
• 22:00
  to rush you. Like I always say, this is it
• 22:03
  Like when I'm talking about this, this, this, it's about me.
• 22:07
  It has nothing to do with like where you should be in life.
• 22:11
  If you're honestly, if you're just achieving a happy baby,
• 22:14
  happy life, you know, you pay rent, you pay, you pay the
• 22:19
  mortgage on time. It's just like you're exactly
• 22:22
  where you're meant to be. And these kind of just also, I
• 22:26
  hope that this kind of episode shows you that it's OK to
• 22:31
  celebrate the little achievements in life.
• 22:34
  We all have them. And if you don't, you know, and
• 22:38
  you just feel like, damn, I should be at a different stage
• 22:41
  in life. We are all there.
• 22:44
  I've been there. And I promise it gets better.
• 22:47
  And as always, my DMS are open if you want to talk.
• 22:51
  If you survive today, I'm really proud of you.
• 22:55
  All right, we'll see you on Thursdays at 6:00 AM Bye.