Latest / Bomb Life / Unfiltered: Finding Balance When Motivation Fades with Marcella Hill |348

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Unfiltered: Finding Balance When Motivation Fades with Marcella Hill |348 · Bomb Life

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everyone, and welcome to the Bomb Live podcast.
• 0:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And today is our on filtered episode series.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love this series because I feel like it just gives me the opportunity to talk about things that might not fit into the regular show or to just prepare you for an episode that's going to be like just smoothly honest.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's been going really, really well.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love having you co-host.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And today we're having Marcella Hillback.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: She gets to be with us again for the next couple of series.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we're diving into the truth all about her journey, working with me as one of my clients through the weight loss and everything and the food nutrition.
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: But then we're diving into the deeper stuff in these episodes.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And today we're talking about the boring part.
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: talking about the boring isn't boring, but it is so real.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Last week we kind of talked about like or the last episode, not last week.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: We kind of talked about imposter syndrome and how we kind of managed to go through life and do a lot of things without doing the work.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then when it comes to your health and fitness journey, you're like, Oh, shit, I have really got to do the work.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: We had so many people respond to that episode, especially on social media.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can't tell you that episode.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't even out for 24 hours.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I can't even tell you how many people messaged me.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you're one of them like, hi, I got your message.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was respond to, but
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: How many people were like, oh my god, I can resonate with this.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I know what she's talking about.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of you, I won't say any names or I didn't know who you were anyways, but that's okay.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm super glad that you follow and that you're listening to the show.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So brave of you to share that, you know, we say a lot of people say and she was saying how she says, oh,
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: nothing works.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I've tried everything, nothing works.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this episode made her and a lot of other people stop and go, oh, wait a minute, hold on.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did it really not work?
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or did I just not put in the work?
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, truly put in the work.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, really do the work and show up.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, if I'm honest, I haven't shown up and on the work.
• 2:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she said, I hear you talk about,
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Working out and I follow you and I see what you're doing in the gym and everything she's like, I've never done that.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've never even come close to that before like girl.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is a great one place to start awareness is key for everything you have to have the awareness first, but I'm like now what do we do with this.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is a great place to start.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And are you willing to do the work?
• 2:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because if you're not willing to do the work you guys, stop beating yourself up that you should be someone else, or you could be someone else, or whatever.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you're like, I'm not willing to do the work.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is where I'm at, and I think I'm okay with that.
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then like give yourself grace in a pause and just be like, be okay with that being there.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's okay too, but you have to be honest with yourself first and you have to have that awareness.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, today we're going in to the boring parts where you have to pivot.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: When do you know to get back up and not get back up?
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you do in the middle?
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we talk about the pendulum swing, right?
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like how, and this happens with everyone, I talk about how this even happens in our world and society about like, you know, with fashion trends and politics and money and the stock market,
• 3:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Swings to the other side and that happens with your fitness too and people, especially when they start they can be like, oh, I'm all I'm going in.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm balls to the wall like I'm all in like here we go and they're like that swing is here and it goes right to the other side.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then before you know they're going, you know what this is too much.
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I need to take a pause right now.
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm not going to leave.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what they always say.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to leave.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not like going to be done.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll be back.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, you won't know you won't.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've been doing this for so long.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had like a dollar just for every time someone was like, oh, no, I'm not quitting.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: But
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Please, we know that if I stop hearing from you and we stop this journey in like this process that we're on, my, that's it.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: We know that for now, like it's not coming back any time soon.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And how do you keep that pendulum in the middle with like swings in it?
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do you ride it?
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you do when it goes high, when it goes low?
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Cause sometimes life happens, right?
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Life is going to life.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what do you do during that time with your health and fitness journey, when the pendulum is all over here and it's like madness and chaos.
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you want to binge.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: or you want to quit, or you want to be like, you know what, there's just no time for me.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just, I just can't show up right now.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's just not going to work.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is what we're talking about.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is what we're diving into, and Marcelo is so brave, because this is happening in real time.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what thing I start off saying to episode about.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like this is actually happening to her right now.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And your plan and what you're doing
• 4:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: has to work with the life that you're living.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It has to.
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, too many people try to do extremes with their workout and their fitness like their nutrition too.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you are trying to do this diet and stuff, does that fit in with your life for the rest of your life?
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: The answer is no, you shouldn't be doing it.
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're doing this like six week boot camp, you're like, okay, just for the six weeks, I need to get through this and I need to like be up at five with the morning and doing this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, what happens after the six weeks?
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: What happens if the kids get sick?
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: What happens if something else happens?
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Does your plan fit into your life?
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whether the life is going smoothly or not smoothly, does your plan fit in?
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if the answer's no, you shouldn't be doing that either.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: There is a way to figure out your plan and have something in place that will fit in with the rest of your life.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: It just takes patience, and there's going to be a lot of boring.
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's what we're talking about today.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Marcella Hills, the founder and CEO of Wake Her Up, it's a global movement transforming how women experience midlife, Perry Metapaz.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's a long life entrepreneur.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: She has done so many incredible things.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I read her book, Wake Her Up.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's actually how I found Marcella.
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: like we be gay friends because I read her book and I had her on the podcast a long time ago.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: But she leads the world's largest director of hormone therapy providers.
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: She is the host of Waker Up podcast and she's built a community of over 56,000 posts women.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think she's in the 60s now.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: and over one million online followers on TikTok Instagram.
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So go to the show notes.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to put all of her links in there so you can follow her, get access to all of this.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Her story, I mean, she's been an advocate featured on Oprah Daily, Good Morning America, NBC News and more.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: and she's among four, and she's creating some serious change in her life, and she's here as my friend, as my client, and sharing the journey with you.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you are interested and taking the next leap and working like Marcella, send me a DM, send me an email.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll put a link in there to my calendar.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you don't see anything open that fits for you, just email me.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: it's Melissa Vogel at gmail.com.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I am happy to open things up and work with you guys.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: There are limited spots in time so things do fill up fast.
• 7:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Send me a DM.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like let's get you going.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's see what works and you guys can always go to my website.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's Melissa VogelFitness.com and you can look at like a variety of options that you have to.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, everyone.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy the show.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everyone and welcome to the un-filtered episode with my wonderful co-host for the next several episodes.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Marcella Hill.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back Marcella.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hello.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hello.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did we get to just start swearing right now?
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go.
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: You start dropping the F-Bob.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, don't filter bitches.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's on filter.
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: We need to fill it up.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're welcome.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Good.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
• 8:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Today we're going to talk all about like the boring ass shit of your fitness journey.
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And Marcel has a station is not going to be boring.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to talk about boring like how you get through the boring, but it's not boring.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, like what we're realizing and like the aha moments that you're having and just seeing it all unravel talking about that.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, that is not boring at all, but like going through it, it's crazy.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what's crazy with you and being able to do these episodes with you is like You're in it in real time.
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like this shit is happening right now.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you made such a good point earlier when we said that about how people usually like after they get interviewed like after they win a boot camp or whatever then they come on
• 8:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: we're not doing that with you.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're in it up to your eyeballs right now, living in experiencing everything we're going to talk about.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, one of the questions on our like brief today was, you know, I don't remember how you put it.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, how did you figure out what's like working like your schedule and whatever.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I haven't figured it out yet.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we're in the middle of figuring it out.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I love it because as a regular girl,
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like all the podcasts I've listened to, the people that I follow, they're in the fitness.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: They are the epitome of fitness, right?
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like they've been doing it for five, 10.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how many years.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so you missed the beginning part.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: They always have their before and afterers.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they're like killing it at the gym, they're killing their workouts, they're killing their feel.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I wanted to be at the beginning where they're like, shit, two days went by and I didn't check my food and, right?
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I went to this workout.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't great.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And like my shoulders twigs and I'm still just trying, you know, I wanted to be there in the beginning when they were getting to it.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it was fun to build record this because I am on like in the middle of like, what are we at?
• 9:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had the day.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I should go back and calculate it.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're in like three months going into four, right?
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 10:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've kind of gone through the big bulky, like this is your workout, this is how you do the moves, this is how you're going to track a food, these are your macros, like the big big big stuff, and now it's just like tweaking it and boring and like I still have to track my food, I still have to go to the gym, like it's just
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and like the shifting of everything else that goes along with it, too, because as you're changing and like showing up at the gym you're realizing like what am I going to do with my kid wait a minute hold on this is the time where I see family or well how does this interplay with my relationship or what wait a minute I want to go out tonight.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: What does this do for my day after now or
• 10:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's so many other things that come into play when you're like, okay, I go to the gym every day, I show up, I do these things and then it's like, oh wait, hold on hold on, there's other things that could get in the way of this or I can't really stand track because now I have this going on.
• 11:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm today.
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Today is the per-example.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am packed.
• 11:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm ready to go out the door for a backpacking trip in my life before you.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to say like three Melissa life.
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Never would I have considered hit the gym before I'm leaving for like a two day backpack.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm be like it's two days of walking.
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think we're going to be good.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I would have read, I would have made up all these reasons.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, I have to sit in the car for five hours.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's probably not going to be good for my hip or my legs.
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I probably just need to rest, prioritize sleep.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And today, I was like, we have to get our ass to the gym because we're not going to be able to get to the gym for four days.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, right, it's a different thing.
• 11:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I had to just my entire morning for that.
• 11:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just, she literally texted me and was like, I got one more set and then I'm coming up to record.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I'm trying to be pissed if I cut this short because I don't plot gaps.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know, yeah, I'm like, be late, like, do what you got to do?
• 12:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, great.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, no, we're still showing up.
• 12:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: No matter what, I don't, I don't care.
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the, you're right.
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: This, like, how many, every days were into it right now?
• 12:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is the time where people, a lot of people think like, oh, I got that, you know, I really don't think I need help anymore.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Fuck this shit.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm out like you know what this really isn't working for me.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I just need to pause Like this is the time where people are like I think I just need to pause for a minute get through this season whatever The season they think it is and you're doing it like you are here feet are grounded and you're like we're doing this shit
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, it would be so easy to do because let's be real.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've given me three months of workouts, right?
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I could just record them and I could take them and be like, oh yeah, this is an up workout for the rest of the year.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm good.
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need someone checking it on me.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you gave me my macros.
• 13:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll just stick with that.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need a babysitter anymore.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: But here is where you literally come in personally.
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't, if you have never hired Melissa or never worth a, I don't know how you fit it all in, girl.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is exactly what I needed.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like first thing in the morning.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, are you a little lake?
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you there?
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on?
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hello.
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: You eat.
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is the plan for the day?
• 13:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, shit.
• 13:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: That means like, I have to think about my body.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to prioritize my body.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: every day, which is hilarious because, you know, I wrote the book, wake her up, and one of my things is you have to wake up every day.
• 13:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, like we kind of fall asleep to this numbness of life, right?
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's you're like my wake up, go, go, every night, every day, to connect back to my body, to be like, okay, what am I putting in my body?
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do I even have the right food in my fridge, you know, am I?
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I said I was going to eat eggs, do I even have eggs?
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do I have time to walk?
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do I have time to do the steps?
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, is it a short day at school?
• 14:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did I plan a day to like all of these things?
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I suddenly you are making me the priority rather than the rest of my day at my schedule.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think
• 14:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: for women in general, we don't even realize how far away we have gotten just from the day-to-day.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know like we know we live in a world where women feel lost and who we are, we feel invisible and unheard.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: The joke is.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's probably because we're not seeing ourselves at all, like ever.
• 14:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you wake up and someone text you and says, okay, what's your plan for you?
• 14:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: When are you moving your body?
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: When are you eating food?
• 14:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are you eating?
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: that is everything right now.
• 15:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just brings me back to myself every day because we all know you can get up and then your kid is sick and then your kid is, you know, doesn't have a right shirt and it's her own a fit and then all of a sudden we're late to school and then we're missing first period and then
• 15:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then the car needs the cars rotate, the tires rotated, these are two stories or anything.
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: That didn't happen like two days ago, I don't know.
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, and then Melissa's like, yeah, but what about your workout?
• 15:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like, ah!
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, but it makes us so that it's almost like your mom or someone is like, I got you, like, I'm not going to let you forget about you.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to let you go invisible today.
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to let you be on the back burner to the car or the kid or the all the things.
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think we need that so much more than we even know.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, then we realize it's, and it's crazy because like that, that everyday I have clients that are very much into it.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some are like nine, ten months like deep.
• 16:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, do I really need to text you ever, you don't really need to, you know, check on me and I'm like,
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, we do, and I know in the back of my mind, shit's gonna hit the fan of their work next week, or their relationships gonna blow up again, because I've been involved in so much of their life or something's gonna happen with the kid or their mom or their dad or whatever you know and I'm like, no, we're gonna, yeah, I wanna know all the boring shit, but I meet the same thing today, I'm like, I don't care, I wanna see it, I wanna know, we are literally rewiring your brain after someone's 42, 42 years.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: of this shit.
• 16:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: You think my mom is going to do anything?
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's funny.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's really funny.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: We got really good steps.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: You got new habits in place.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Look at you eating the same thing all the time.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: But, and then it always happens.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: They get pulled for a work trip.
• 16:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Something happens.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, oh my god, I wouldn't have kept going.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Had you not
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Reminded me and banana and then yes, I know people always wonder like, well, do they always need help?
• 17:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: You do graduate.
• 17:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you do get to a point where you're like, oh my god, I'll never go back to what I did, but it takes a long time
• 17:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm just thinking, you know, for right now, like, okay, I've never done this through any of the holidays.
• 17:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, even if, even if October gets kind of boring and it does feel like, I know what I'm doing.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: What about Thanksgiving?
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: What about when my college kids come home to live with me in a tiny apartment for a whole month?
• 17:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, it spells like, what that?
• 17:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: fuck are we gonna do that right like i'm gonna need someone to like get your ass to the gym like go walk around in the snow like they're then snow what are we doing with what are we doing with what are we doing with what are we doing with that what are we doing with a million six days what do we do when i get super sick i don't know like at what point do we get back into it how do i push my body to keep
• 18:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: doing what it needs to do when I'm sick.
• 18:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if some tragic thing happens?
• 18:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do we walk through that?
• 18:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, when does my body come into that?
• 18:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, there was like a really horrible accident in our neighborhood just two nights ago.
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was at Pilates and I don't know why this
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: with my brain, but I was at Pilates.
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm thinking, look at all these people just having a regular day, but there is a mom at a hospital right now, hoping your kid lives.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was thinking like, when something like that happens, like at what point do you come back to this?
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: At what point does that mom come back to Pilates in the park?
• 18:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what if her kid doesn't make it, like, then when does she come back, like, right?
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I just thought, oh my gosh, like we do all need someone like you, that's like,
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: this is the time you come back.
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or this is how you don't lose yourself in the middle of like full-on tragedy.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just, I don't know, I just, she was like top of mind and thinking through that and just doing those regular everyday things we're thinking about the women that can't right now, but at the same time, we live in a world where women just get lost and invisible.
• 19:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's almost like we don't know when we're allowed to come back from tragedy, you know, I remember when I got divorced or my first husband, it was such a mass destruction of all things like we kind of ruined an entire community.
• 19:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: We lived in Cheyenne Wyoming and we were kind of like, let's just with, you know, being humble, my humble self.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were the shit there like we were like, we were like, we like, we like hit the it couple, like,
• 19:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're both, you know, good looking people and we had the youth group and we're youth leaders, we'd have like waffle Wednesday at our house and it was just we were a big deal.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when we fell apart, it was kind of nuts.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I couldn't even go to the grocery store.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: People are short of it.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: My house like my life blew up like Jerry Springer land level.
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: to the point my dad had to come get me from Shayan and take me to Utah before somebody got shot.
• 20:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it was bad.
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just how do we participate in every...
• 20:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: regular daily life.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to target just thinking like, no, this is too normal.
• 20:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, be here.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I'm going to come.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's women get lost in just a sick week of kids.
• 20:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't know how to get back in.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we don't how to keep going.
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how to keep showing up because we just lose ourselves to everything we just given, given, given, given, given, given.
• 20:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: We think that we have to be martyrs to every
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: sickness and tragedy and we just never get to it.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And everything that you're listening, people I know people listening could be like, yeah, well, that's actually what she just said of the accident or like a death or something.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's actually when I stopped going to the gym.
• 21:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's actually like everything you listed is all the reasons why people stop.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we aren't taught the skills like we just don't know.
• 21:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're not taught.
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do you keep going through tragedy?
• 21:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: When is it appropriate to keep working out?
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or when is it not?
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then like you said, when do I get back to that?
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we're not
• 21:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: taught that at all, and in my being too hard on myself, and my being too soft on myself right now, we lack those self-awareness skills, and it's so nice to have another perspective to be like, okay, so you've been at the hospital for eight hours.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: You ate a candy bar at the vending machine.
• 21:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, go get your ass home showered eat something and go to the gym.
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go move like I've literally had that conversation with someone before and they were like, I just want to crawl into bed I'm like, hmm, we're gonna move and then after they were like, oh my god I'm a whole new person like I'm actually ready to go tackle these paperwork I have to do now for the hospital.
• 22:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god Fuck yeah, we're gonna do that then we're gonna go you go do that and then message me back And they just they're like I just don't have these like pivot skills to be able to do it and yeah and life is going to life
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but it's gonna keep life-ing like all this.
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's, don't you think that it's a little confusing right now with social media?
• 22:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've got this soft, soft girl era thing going, right?
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I fell into that for many years and actually it was one of the best things I've ever done because I was like a go-go, go, great, great grit, never, never give up, never,
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Stop like I was just go go go go go go and to the level of like shaming myself If I wasn't like going hard.
• 22:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I lost hours and memories and bad times with my kids Because it was like work work work work work work and then I learned presence I learned stillness.
• 22:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I learned to sit.
• 22:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I learned to go to the lake and just look at the lake without like
• 23:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: a marketing plan in my head and like constant ideas in my head and so like I love the whole idea of soft girl era but soft girl era for me turned into let's be real laziness like where I didn't understand how to go back to.
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: hard work without it swallowing me up into like grit and grind and never quitting and you're catching me literally in the middle I remember when I when I hired you I was like okay I want to learn how to call come back to hard work without the manic without the losing myself without
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: completely like disassociating with my family and myself to just be in the grind.
• 23:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't understand like just what you're saying.
• 23:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like when is it time to rest?
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: When is it time to work?
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 23:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And is when does work like get manic?
• 23:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, when does rest get lazy?
• 24:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think when you have a coach like you, you're able to have this like other,
• 24:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: third party that's helping you be honest with yourself.
• 24:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I remember you telling me, you know, I was going through a lot of hip pain, shoulder pain, body pain, like my body is figuring out all these workouts.
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember you said something like,
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what your body is going to have to figure it out like you're not stopping.
• 24:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to stop.
• 24:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to tweak it.
• 24:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to figure it out.
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to move around.
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay, hip cat works today.
• 24:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then what can work today.
• 24:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you have to tell your body like we're not.
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: giving up because you don't feel like working properly.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember just thinking, oh, I needed that in my head.
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I got into the point where I was like, oh, guys, cat, guess I cat today.
• 24:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 24:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a soft day.
• 24:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: All those rest because now I appreciate rest, whereas I didn't before, but sometimes it gets a little too much.
• 25:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's hard to be honest about.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's like that it's that pendulum swing, you know, and it doesn't help that society in our world operates that way too, right?
• 25:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: It does with like how it takes and trash and fashion trends and you know, we swing one with the economy and then it crashes like and we have that in our own life two of this big like I'm going to go hard and then it's like I'm going to do nothing and my job is to like help people how do we find that middle.
• 25:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And appreciate the big swings to the end, you know, one end to the other, but I know when you first started to, it was like, I'm just going to buckle down.
• 25:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going nowhere.
• 25:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not seeing anyone.
• 25:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not doing anything's just just working.
• 25:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not leaving this department and working out and I'm like, well, hold that.
• 25:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: as like scary food is out there that I don't know and like you'll want to end up in a bar and so we just like let's drink and then what if I'm like shit I'll just drink that like everything was scary.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it was scary because then I'm like if I go out then it's just I don't know I didn't know how to
• 26:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand what my brain was thinking, but I honestly thought, like, oh, if I just like buckle down, go all in, three, four weeks, like, all be so impressive, and I'll just tell this down.
• 26:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I can skip through having to do it day to day, I can just do it in four weeks, right?
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be so great.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then before weeks, I was like,
• 26:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: No shit, like I'm just here doing it every day and now I'm just like not hanging out like friends and now I'm just like having no fun and now I'm going to get burnt out and now I'm going to hate this Exactly, and the petulant swings and what do I do and it's going to run up for like three weeks And I'm barely holding on, I'm just like the monkey on the thing just being like, okay, here we go, just don't let go.
• 26:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even remember what they're like so I mean, I'm not gonna go into exact details, but you're like, so you've basically had like a lot of sex and a lot of drugs and you like laid it out and I was like
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, it compares something to my friends.
• 27:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like not so much, but that actually does sound like a lot for me, and we had to bring it back around.
• 27:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, there we are.
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's crazy too, being like just being a coach in this position is I can't stop people.
• 27:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I don't want to.
• 27:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have to still let you guys live your life and experience things, even though I'm going like, oh shit, I'm putting on my harness for this one.
• 27:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like buckleing in and I'm like,
• 27:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here we fucking go and I'm just like in the background like are you sure are you aware of this okay, and then I'm like doubling up my helmet because I'm on this with you guys, and that's how we learn though, and I'm just like the bumpers that you put down for kids when you're bowling.
• 27:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, oh man, I got you bumped again, go back to the middle, but you have to learn you have to learn how to get to one end to the other end and knock down the pins.
• 28:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's no shortcut around it, and right now everyone's looking for a shortcut, but it's so boring.
• 28:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so boring to bowl with the bumpers up.
• 28:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, and it's like when your new year's like never mind I'll just sit here and hold the ball because I can't fuck it up right and then the other time is like I'm going to shuck it all the way down so that I don't really have to I mean it's okay, so I'm so excited.
• 28:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so like okay, let's like slow down do the same thing, you know, I have life man.
• 28:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's the swing.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: One of the other things that I noticed the swing and the it go with you is when your brain went so extreme to when I would talk about like boundaries and balance with food and everything and your brain was like oh this is so much like being told what to do like no like weight hold on and there was that struggle with like how do I have boundaries and be a fitchick
• 29:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I do wonder like how much of my extreme like swinging comes from like my religious upbringing because when I was in Mormonism like if you don't know I grew up Mormon I'm in Utah I'm in the Naka world of Mormon land and um
• 29:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I, when I was in it, it didn't feel extreme.
• 29:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: It felt very normal.
• 29:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 29:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't understand.
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was living in extreme land.
• 29:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 29:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now that I'm out.
• 29:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, Oh, shit.
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was insane.
• 29:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're wearing religious underwear.
• 29:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'd say that's pretty extreme.
• 29:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, there's that, you know.
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And.
• 29:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you believe that you're going to go to heaven and be like in a polygamous like your husband's going to multiply, I'd say that's pretty extreme, but I didn't know.
• 29:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so now here I am trying to figure out what's normal.
• 30:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just like baseline regular human land, right?
• 30:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when somebody, when you say, hey, alcohol is bad for you,
• 30:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: All red flags like a hundred red flags go off in my body because what have I heard for the last 45 years of my life don't drink alcohol.
• 30:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's bad.
• 30:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a devil bring you to hell.
• 30:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: You literally you cannot physically get a temple recommend.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't get approved to go into the temple where it is the highest place of being by God on the earth.
• 30:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're drinking alcohol, I mean, people will be like, yes, you can't.
• 30:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, if you're willing to lie to your bishop, I guess, there are some really cool, and like, sure, you can still go.
• 30:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: But like, I was a good Mormon.
• 30:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if I drank alcohol, I would go confess my sin, make it right.
• 30:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: and goes through the whole repentance process to be able to get a recommend to go to the temple.
• 31:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So when somebody tells me, like, don't drink alcohol, my whole body goes, this is a cult, like, don't shame me, like, it is weird.
• 31:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I obviously understand that alcohol is poison.
• 31:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I obviously understand logistically and health-wise, it is not good for your body, right?
• 31:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you're told for 45 years of your life that is going to put you to hell and then you drink it and it doesn't and you feel like you were tricked and lied to and that it actually can be fun and it has
• 31:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: helped with some really fun memories.
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and honestly, this sounds weird, but it's helped me connect to my body, which is weird because I'd never been altered before, right?
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I always thought, I don't want to be out of control.
• 31:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to, we're going to feel like I don't have control over my brain and my body.
• 31:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when I put things in my body that gives me like an altered state, it reminds me like my body is a source of fun, my body is mine, my body can like think we're thoughts and do weird things and feel Lucy go see and be silly and she can be playful and
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: and there's these things on the earth that like help our bodies just have different experiences.
• 32:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I've only been told that bad, bad, bad, never, never, never.
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're only bad.
• 32:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be an alcoholic, he'll just be a fucked up person if you do all these things.
• 32:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really complicated.
• 32:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: When somebody says don't do that, my brain is like, don't fucking tell me what not to do because that's actually not true, like it just has not true right and I get to do whatever the fuck I want so now again living in these extremes I went from never ever drinking to drinking I wouldn't say I was ever excessive drinker, I mean,
• 32:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: To have a glass of wine at night while I'm cooking dinner, Melissa, that's like a movie for me that only existed in the movies like I cry thinking about it because there's something about that watching a movie and watching this girl in her cool little apartment drinking wine it felt magic I felt special it felt something like yeah
• 33:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: out of my world like that never could exist and now if I just have a small glass of wine, it feels magical like it feels like I live in a movie.
• 33:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's interesting because now we're learning, right?
• 33:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're helping me learn like what's normal base level, but what's supportive
• 33:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's helping me learn every you always say like, you can't drink.
• 33:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not your bishop.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to go to hell, but also Go back to like a mathematical standpoint.
• 33:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, does help you get where you want to go.
• 33:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when are you trying to get there?
• 33:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, just listening to you talk like, no wonder, you know, other people who are still living in this and no, nothing against religion, no, you know, that we're talking about your experience, my experience, in our opinion of that, nothing against anything.
• 34:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if you are still in that and being so much like told what to do, no wonder people have no idea how to pivot.
• 34:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: or show up or make decisions on their own because it's always like, well, no, I just do this because that's what the Bible told me to do or my parents told me to do or the church told me to do.
• 34:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you don't have to think you just do this because this is what you're told to do and then that believes into food That bleeds and to your workouts that bleeds into like your sex life and relationships and like, you know people You think there's this even two of the food like
• 34:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: You just eat because that's what's in the store in the package or like yeah, this is just normal and I'm going hold on have you ever picked up that package and looked at the back show me show me wasn't the back show me what's on the back of it and people to start and they're like
• 35:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why is that important, you know, and they just show me the numbers and I'm like, oh, no, I want the list.
• 35:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to know the list and they've never stopped and thought about like, what the list is.
• 35:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're like, no, it's just fine.
• 35:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get it from my store.
• 35:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean it's poison?
• 35:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, I'm having this epiphany right now, but I don't even know this is the situation.
• 35:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: But okay, if you're in a religion like Mormonism where it is so many rules, they're almost impossible to abide by all of the rules.
• 35:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is no wonder that sugar is like, fuck it all.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's no wonder that we don't read labels, because it's just beyond more rules, right?
• 35:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I remember a million, I mean, in Mormonism, sugar is alcohol.
• 35:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you go to any Mormon event, it is a shit ton of sugar.
• 36:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not as known for swag when we go to swag what is it like oh let's put as many pumps of sugar into your soda as I can plus some cream plus more jitter somehow right and
• 36:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: that exists like we've been to like the women's group activities and there will be mocktail soda bar almost every time plus the big huge cookies cookies are a thing in Utah too there's literally a cookie war happening because there's so many cookie brands they're fighting and it the cookies are like bigger than your face you know one portion is like an eighth of the cookie
• 36:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's incredible, but it makes sense when you're talking about like, who has room for more rules?
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you are having rules about your underwear, rules about like how you wake up and pray, rules about how you spend your Wednesday, if you're going to church activate, rules about how you spend your entire Sunday, rules about what your thoughts are, what you're reading, like, there are rules
• 37:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a thing and everything and so of course when we don't know how to regulate ourselves when it comes to food, we're just like, yeah, no rules.
• 37:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's no rules here.
• 37:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We can be at as much lazony on cookies and so does we want because the church never said we couldn't.
• 37:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 37:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: About this one thing they say we can have as much as we want.
• 37:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, light bulbs, just like, yeah, it's so true and I just feel so bad for people that start off and they they're just clueless about all of this and it's so hard for them and I'm just going, this is why this is why so many people struggle on the outside.
• 37:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is why our society is the way it is and people are like, I want to hit this goal and then then ever do and you know what,
• 38:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is such a hard time of year for me because so many people are so excited and every year I have to watch people be like, yeah, new year, new me, let's go and by the end of January that fire is already gone.
• 38:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: it's just you think have you made a correlation I have noticed like I used to definitely be like a start it on the beginning of the month you know start it on a Monday it started on the first the first the year I have found that when I start things on like a Wednesday or a Thursday I'm actually way more committed to it it seems like
• 38:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I don't know.
• 38:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's now part of my life.
• 38:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: This was what we're doing instead of like starting on a Monday and like now.
• 38:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, notice like if people start in middle of the year or like start on a Wednesday, you notice if they're.
• 38:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, think about it better rate than if they start first of January, it think use the week gives an example.
• 39:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you started on a Thursday, if you're only trying to make it four days and then you already feel successful, you're like, I made it through the week.
• 39:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like your your success time of like feeling accomplished is like almost cut in half.
• 39:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: and you're not going from like Monday, and then like fuck it's only Friday.
• 39:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's okay, two more days to like do this.
• 39:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or, you know, if you do it through a month, and then it's like the 16th and you're like, oh my God, it's only the 16th.
• 39:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or if you start the 16th and you're like, holy shit, I just finished out the month.
• 39:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's one of the reasons why I encourage people like right now this is this is my New Year's time where I'm like you start now before those holidays hit because if I can change you through October and November we have things in place we got things rolling and you will go smoothly into the holidays and come out probably on top and still losing oh my god people will
• 39:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: just smooth sailing through February March.
• 40:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then before you know it, we have spring time and summer hitting and people are naturally motivated around that time anyways, too.
• 40:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it just, if you get started now, which you're already in place, oh my god, you're going to, it's going to be amazing.
• 40:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, and even beyond the losing weight or fitness, I think a guy, how many mothers, specifically, get lost in all the presence and all the planning and all the parties and all the kid activities and the performances and the la la la la, right?
• 40:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: All of it.
• 40:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think one thing for me is like, oh, like, there is scheduled time for me this season.
• 40:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't lose me this season.
• 40:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like it burned out.
• 40:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know that.
• 40:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I already know that because Melissa will text me every morning and I'm like, all right.
• 40:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's-
• 40:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Merry Christmas.
• 40:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let the plan.
• 40:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's Thanksgiving.
• 40:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: When are we working out?
• 40:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, right?
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I just think it's like so fun to know.
• 40:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't get lost here.
• 40:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't.
• 40:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will not get lost.
• 41:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even even if I kind of do it a little bit shitty sometimes like that's again.
• 41:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have you.
• 41:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's just I'm not going to fall off the wagon.
• 41:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like I'm here.
• 41:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like here we are.
• 41:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get out and again, even let's say we fall at the wagon for weeks like this time we don't fall off for years this time we don't fall off exactly months and months and months and and I'm sure you have plenty of people that kind of fall off the way I said I think what's interesting is like what so how do you come back how do you know I mean that's just life and how do you get back to it without swinging so far together side like how do you just like
• 41:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: bring it back in.
• 41:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 41:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the biggest, like the answer to your questions, the biggest way to do that is to make sure you don't come in balls to the wall.
• 41:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it is slow.
• 41:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I talked with someone yesterday, I had a coaching call.
• 41:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was just a random one and she just just randomly book.
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's not someone I'm working with and just hearing her life and laying everything out and we're looking at her calendar and I'm like, so one's less time really worked out and it's been
• 42:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, but I know I'm capable of that.
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was up at 430 before, and I worked out six days a week.
• 42:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, so what, we'll just start with that on Monday.
• 42:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, whoa, oh, Sally, no, no, no, that is not what we're going to do.
• 42:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to work out on a Monday and a Friday.
• 42:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to start your week and end your week.
• 42:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, but I can do more on them.
• 42:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, you're not.
• 42:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: We won't.
• 42:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to just do two days and make it bite size for your brain.
• 42:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she fought me on that.
• 42:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: You wouldn't have thought I was like taking money from her and she's like no, but I'm like trust me.
• 42:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is not my first rodeo She's like okay, okay, and that's if she if I would have led her she'd been burnt out in two weeks and then back to where she started
• 42:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, remember when school started.
• 42:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, all right, five a.m. workout.
• 42:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're going to do.
• 42:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cause like I got to get this out the door seven.
• 42:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to be here for breakfast.
• 43:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to get my ass to gym at five a.m.
• 43:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've done it before.
• 43:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've done it before.
• 43:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember I did it.
• 43:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I did do it.
• 43:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just give him credit.
• 43:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: But by eight.
• 43:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am like laying in my rocking chair on my back porch with a cup of tea and the cozy blanket, and I am done for the day.
• 43:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like ready for a bed and feeling like, I don't think that's gonna work out for you.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think we're gonna have to like a lunch time workout, which never have I ever done a lunch time workout.
• 43:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, listen, never.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I never thought I'll just pop over to the gym at noon, no, like, I'm in my day, I'm going, and
• 43:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: We walk through like my day and what I have and what could work and we kind of landed on like a want to clock lunch break where I can get up early.
• 43:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can get some emails done.
• 43:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can get my kid off to school.
• 43:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can just have.
• 43:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: semi slow morning, which I really, really appreciate it in my life, like just to walk with some tea, maybe see my dogs, right?
• 44:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then get to work.
• 44:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Get work done so that work is out of my brain, because that has been a distraction to any workout, because I'll get to my workout, like shit, I forgot about this.
• 44:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to get to this.
• 44:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: My emails are blowing up and I'm like, got to get it done before the kids got home from school.
• 44:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if I can get my work done,
• 44:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: then it's time for fuel around 1230, get some lunch, get to the gym.
• 44:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: From 1 to 3, I'm just, I'm gone.
• 44:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm at the gym.
• 44:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing my thing.
• 44:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I pick the kid up at school at 3.
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I can go back to work and other times I'm like, well, at least I got a couple hours of work done.
• 44:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got my body done.
• 44:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now the rest of the day can just,
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go to hell.
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got it right here.
• 44:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am right.
• 44:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 44:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I pushed that time for so many of my clients people that own like their own practice and stuff and I'm like, Why aren't we shutting down at noon and you're going to the gym like why not do that instead of working until eight or
• 45:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: After you get out and everything is closed now you have to do everything with the kids and now you're working out at 9 o'clock 10 o'clock at night on the last little bit of gas you have in your tank.
• 45:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's not fair.
• 45:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can do this and it's like a dog really happy to go for it's walk.
• 45:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just a magical time and you're like, you're doing it, you're fitting it in and you're showing up and your plan has to work while you're living your fucking life.
• 45:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: It has to work while work is super busy or super boring or when you have travel plans or you're going through a divorce or you're dating or you know kids are home, vacation
• 45:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: it has to work while life is happening and people wait for life to stop life thing and they wait for magical hours and they wait for like, no, I'm gonna go to bed early and then I'm gonna get up early and edit it.
• 46:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's your normal life like?
• 46:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do we fit this in?
• 46:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, well, and it always shifts, you know, so it's like, well, we try to right now noon works, you know, noon, when a clock works for me, but what does that look like when the kids are off school for three weeks that's right, right, and that's where you come in like someone like comes in where I'm like, okay, is this realistic for me to now get up maybe I have to do this exam workout while the kids are here so that I can spend time with them and I'm not.
• 46:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, like, I can go where they need to go and we can go sledding and skiing and all of the things that we feel like doing.
• 46:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but I, you've said something and now I lost my turn of thought, but I do think it's fascinating to,
• 46:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: really like there's so many things that in my brain were reasons why I couldn't do all of this the certain way, right?
• 47:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it knew and it was like, well, but I need a shower and I need to have my makeup done and if I don't do that, like I always had to do after the gym, right?
• 47:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's ridiculous because lifting you're not like, yes, you sweat, but I got up this morning.
• 47:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I shower.
• 47:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got ready because I had a half an hour window while my kid was getting ready.
• 47:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I still went to the gym.
• 47:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did I sweat?
• 47:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I like, you know, just my hair back up, put some powder on my face, redo some deodorant.
• 47:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I need to rinse out my body, I will.
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: But like my hair is fine.
• 47:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 47:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like the shower situation is now like no.
• 47:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: doesn't have to be after the gym, whereas my entire life, I'm like, but then I'm gonna have to shower, and that's like another hour.
• 47:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, is it really Noah?
• 47:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And does it have to be that order?
• 47:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why do we have these rules we've created for ourself?
• 48:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you can only eat eggs for breakfast.
• 48:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: What?
• 48:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to have breakfast?
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a spaghetti squash.
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have my dinner that I have last night.
• 48:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have some sausage and spaghetti squash and zucchini.
• 48:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's breakfast tonight.
• 48:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 48:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we just, we make these weird rules.
• 48:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 48:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, nope.
• 48:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just pancakes, pancakes are breakfast.
• 48:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Great.
• 48:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
• 48:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, it's not.
• 48:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not.
• 48:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, Marta, I cannot wait for our next two episodes and to keep recording.
• 48:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are going off on your hiking trip.
• 48:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are all packed and planned and ready to go.
• 48:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can't thank you enough for like just spending us in and coming on and doing another episode.
• 48:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just love it.
• 48:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love how real you are how honest you are about all the shit that you're going through.
• 48:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm excited that we could to dive in even more.
• 48:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: So,
• 48:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, I'm like, there's so many points.
• 48:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh, going through the question of like, there's so many points we didn't touch on.
• 48:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, okay, I want us to do say this because you had talked about relationships.
• 48:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, do you want to point this out?
• 49:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because this pleads into every, you know, we talked about religion, we talked about working out.
• 49:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I am the kind of person that I like big events.
• 49:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like something to be like, this is what we're doing for the weekends, like to make the weekend count.
• 49:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and it's been really hard for me, even as a mom.
• 49:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: to just have the day-to-day feel like it counts.
• 49:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Ooh.
• 49:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, just the bedtime, this is the regular bedtime thing.
• 49:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 49:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and if there was one thing that I could go back and redo for like, especially my adult kids, um, it's not the big flashy stuff.
• 49:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna cry.
• 49:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wish that I had been better about just like the day-to-day.
• 49:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
• 49:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had more just regular boring bedtimes.
• 49:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think I even was extreme in that where I was like, no, today's gonna be such a good bedtime.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna read so many books.
• 49:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we're gonna, you know, I'm gonna be acting it out and I'm gonna sing it and I'm gonna, you know, it was like a big to do.
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I just wish I had a million more tiny ones that like just didn't really matter.
• 50:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm trying to be much, much better about that.
• 50:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, living in my own apartment with Jane, there's like a million more just sit on the couch
• 50:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we're bad and there's a million more just me like snuggling up per day in the morning.
• 50:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not these big flashy things.
• 50:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I just am starting to gain like a massive appreciation for the tiny things.
• 50:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so yeah.
• 50:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and that's going to bleed into this journey even more too, you're going to appreciate like just the smallest things in accomplishments and because you're like allowing yourself to do that now instead of the like it's got to be this big or doesn't count it's like hey done was better than none like we actually get to apply that saying and it'll mean something so my God, you're made me cry we need to go because I'm just going to start crying.
• 50:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know, and I have to go get in the car and drive her five hours.
• 51:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
• 51:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'll be back soon and you and see how it goes.
• 51:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Speaking of boring stuff, but I get to go there.
• 51:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: What your snacks are.
• 51:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you again.
• 51:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we'll be back on recording you guys.
• 51:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So check us out.
• 51:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: The last Thursday at every month is our unfiltered episodes.
• 51:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Check out last week.
• 51:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's actually out airing now.
• 51:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it was
• 51:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: So good, Marcella.
• 51:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had people messaging me.
• 51:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I told you that like as soon as it wasn't even live for 24 hours and people were like, oh my god, I know what she's talking about like, I think it's crazy.
• 51:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about imposter syndrome as that like title label thing, but nobody talks about like are there reasons why you have embossed center maybe you've been cheating your ways your life, maybe you haven't actually done the work, nobody yeah nobody is willing to say like
• 51:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I kind of just didn't do the work, right?
• 52:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was really scared to put that out there.
• 52:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, I have brand deals.
• 52:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have people that work with me.
• 52:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have, you know, the other group of like, I mean, it's not the surprise.
• 52:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then let's just be real.
• 52:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But honestly, it's like,
• 52:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wish that I understood that more women struggle with just the showing up day to day.
• 52:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 52:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And living for the shiny sparkly big things.
• 52:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then wondering why they feel like they didn't earn it.
• 52:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: One woman said she was like, I'm the person that always says, I've tried everything and it didn't work.
• 52:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she goes, when I heard Marcelo's episode, it made me stop and think and go,
• 52:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, you, I really didn't give that a go.
• 52:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did it for like two or three weeks and I was like, oh, this doesn't work for me.
• 52:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, I'm like, I am so glad you're being honest with yourself and I'm so glad you'll share and I'll tell him our challenge.
• 53:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, no, I just really made me think, like, I've been blaming so many other things.
• 53:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, all that program didn't work.
• 53:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: This didn't work.
• 53:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Lifting doesn't work for me.
• 53:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: How many times do you hear that in every fucking area of every piece of life?
• 53:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you get a tracker on your wrist.
• 53:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's kicking my ass like you get a tracker on your wrist.
• 53:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you want to also write down the oven active lifestyle that you're only burning and average of like 1,200 calories a day.
• 53:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a two thousand steps, not an actual lifestyle like friends to me.
• 53:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh shit, like I'm a friend that goes to dance class twice a week.
• 53:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she shows up at skating three or four times a week plus gets her workout in.
• 53:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to guarantee that that girl probably is average like closer to 3000.
• 53:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, and I just had no clue.
• 53:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So here I am thinking like, but I tried, but I did it, but I went to the gym and nobody's counting like, do you do anything else?
• 53:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the gym was supposed to do all of that and everyone's like, do you even like walk around?
• 54:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: What else do you do work gym?
• 54:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, great.
• 54:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's the wild?
• 54:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 54:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, I love it.
• 54:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Farad to face, but I mean, it is.
• 54:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think women are really frustrated that it's not working.
• 54:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if we were just willing to look at the work, the actual work we're putting in, then we probably would be like, oh, I didn't actually do it.
• 54:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 54:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, oh, that's so good up so prior to this if you want right.
• 54:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, go back and listen to that one four weeks ago, I've cast it all over again.
• 54:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Great.
• 54:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's perfect.
• 54:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's perfect.
• 54:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I can't wait to see how many steps you get this week.
• 54:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: This weekend.
• 54:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be fun.
• 54:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be a lot.
• 54:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't wait to see.
• 54:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't wait.
• 54:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, Marcella.
• 54:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you again for coming on.
• 54:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: You guys check out the show notes too.
• 54:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you can see all of her information links follow her what she does everything and for now enjoy it and we'll be back in four weeks.
• 55:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Bye, everyone.
• 55:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Stay healthy, until next time.