Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 651: You'll Never Get Your Ex Back Unless You Have THIS

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Episode 651: You'll Never Get Your Ex Back Unless You Have THIS · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  You cannot have love without respect, as I've
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  said here many times. If your ex broke up with you,
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  they have lost some, if not all, respect for you.
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  So until you get that respect
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  back, they will not have any desire to come back.
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  So how do you get that
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  respect back? Well, stay tuned and you'll find
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  out. If this is your first time
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  here, hi, my name is Lucia, I'm a dating and
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  relationship expert specializing in helping you
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  get your ex back or to get over your ex. And
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  welcome back to my beautiful no contact army.
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  If you were trying to download
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  my app Silenzio last week, it was offline in the app
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  store for a few days, but we are back, baby. And
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  the link to that is underneath every single
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  video and podcast. And if you too would like to
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  join our no contact army, it's very simple. All
• 0:47
  you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the
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  bell notification and you're in. And
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  to read our manual, go to no contact secrets secrets
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  .com where you can read two free chapters before
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  purchasing the book. That's no contact secrets. Okay,
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  so how to get back your ex's respect so that they
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  will want to get you back. There
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  are four things you want to do. Number
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  one is non reaction. Remember
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  our no contact army slogan. We
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  don't react. We do no contact. That's
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  why I say when someone breaks up with you, don't
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  fight or argue with them calmly, give them the
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  breakup and just walk away. And
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  if you listen to the video titled my breakup, which is
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  about the breakup that led me to specializing in
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  helping me, people get their ex back and I'll put
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  the link to that video up in the right hand corner
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  on YouTube. When that guy broke up with me,
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  within five minutes I texted him back and I
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  said, okay, no problem. You know, I wish you the best
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  blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. And
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  by the way, it's been almost 10 years since we
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  first started dating. And guess who is still in my
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  DMs and watching my stories sometimes, even though we
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  haven't talked in almost four years because of
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  something that he did. And of course, like a good
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  little dismissive avoidant. I
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  am still ignoring him because he hasn't said
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  anything significant in four years. So
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  non reaction shows that you have self control and
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  that's always attractive. Nobody,
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  male or female, wants a partner who's out of
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  control. At the very least, it's an
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  inconvenience. At the very most, it's
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  dangerous to be with someone who's out of
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  control. Your ex knows that you're not
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  happy with a breakup and they know you want to talk
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  about it and that you want to try to get them back.
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  But instead, you're controlling
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  yourself and you're being an adult instead of
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  throwing tantrums and calling them crying and
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  begging for them to come back. You're
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  showing emotional restraint and maturity by being non
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  reactive. Do not under estimate the
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  power of non reaction. It's one of the strongest tools
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  in your toolbox for getting an ex back. Number
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  two is patience. By staying in no contact
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  instead of trying to get them back, you appear
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  powerful and strong. Powerful
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  people never appear rushed and they never rush. People
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  adapt to their pace. So don't let your ex rush
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  you. And by that, I mean if they
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  contact you and they don't say something significant,
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  you don't respond just because they contacted you.
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  You're not in a rush to get them
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  back, even if you are, if they're not going to
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  approach you correctly because it's not worth it.
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  As I said, it's been four
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  years since I talked to my ex because he hasn't said
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  anything significant. And you drastically lower your
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  chances of getting them back if you respond every
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  single time. So by not responding to
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  breadcrumbs, you're signaling to your ex that your
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  strong and strength is always attractive. Why
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  wouldn't it be? Who wants a weak partner? Do
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  you know of anyone who wants a weak partner? If
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  they do, it's because they want to use them and
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  exploit them and manipulate them other than that. No.
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  So especially if they know that you have an anxious
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  attachment style and they would have bet their last
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  dollar that you were going to respond to their
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  breadcrumbs. Also, when you don't respond to
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  breadcrumbs, you end up not having petty arguments. You
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  are above that and you will only respond to a
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  significant message. Finally, patience also gives you a
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  regal air. Have you ever seen a member of
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  the royal family rushing or running? Probably
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  not unless they were in a race. And
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  patience also works in reverse when they start to
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  show interest in you in the sense that if you make
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  them wait for you to decide whether you're going
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  to forgive them, whether you're going to get back
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  with them, they will respect you more. This
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  is why you don't want to jump when your ex says
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  they want you back or they want to see you or they
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  want to talk to you unless, of course, you
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  cheated or took them for granted. So
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  you don't make it easy to get back with you and you
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  do this for two reasons. One,
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  you want to see how strong their resolve is. When
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  you make them wait, you'll find out if they really
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  want you back. If they're not willing to be
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  patient, then do they really want you back? Years
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  ago when I was living in Italy, I told a story
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  before about I dated the guy and he had just gotten
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  out of a relationship. So his ex found out and she
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  wanted him back. Then he was seeing the two of
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  us and I'm like, oh no, I'm not doing that. So
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  I stopped that and they were together for another
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  year. And then finally he came back
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  and I was seeing someone else. And
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  so he said to me, well, then I'll wait. He
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  goes, I love you and I'll wait as long as I have
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  to. He was patient. So
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  when you make them wait and don't immediately get
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  back with them, their respect for you goes up.
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  And in fact, my boyfriend in
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  Italy, he eventually wanted to marry me. Okay.
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  Number three to gain someone's respect back is
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  boldness. You're demonstrating boldness by
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  ignoring them when you don't respond to
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  breadcrumbs. And when you're not contacting
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  them, trying to get them back, especially if you
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  were never bold or rarely bold in your relationship.
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  And people freak out, well, my
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  clients freak out when I tell them to ignore a text
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  or a phone call from an ex. I
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  can see that some of y 'all have never done that.
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  You really should try it
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  sometime. You would be surprised at what
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  you find out. So your ex will wonder what
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  the heck happened to you all of a sudden, because
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  you're now signaling that you must have some hidden
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  resources. Something or someone is backing up
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  this new boldness and confidence and they want to
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  know who or what it is. Damn
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  it. You're communicating that you have
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  more confidence than they thought you had. You're
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  communicating that you have a backup plan that they
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  didn't know about. So being bold is going to
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  make up for those of you who are needy or doormats
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  in your relationships. People
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  respect what they can't control. People
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  respect what is unpredictable. They
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  definitely wouldn't have never predicted that you
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  would ignore them if they contacted you after they
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  broke up with you. And yet, here you are, ignoring
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  them as per my instructions, as per my
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  marching orders to my little soldiers. And
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  by the way, if you're finding this helpful, be
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  sure to hit the like button so that the YouTube
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  algorithm will recommend this video to more people.
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  And they too can find out how
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  to gain respect from their ex. Thank
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  you. And then finally, the last way
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  to get back your ex's respect is to ask for the
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  moon. When you ask for the moon,
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  people may not like it and they may not give it to
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  you. But their respect for you
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  definitely goes up. And by the way, this works in
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  business too. And when you ask for very
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  little and they give it to you, they lose respect for
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  you. But when you ask for a lot,
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  even if they don't give it to you and you negotiate
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  something less, the fact that you were bold enough
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  to ask raises their respect for you. That's
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  why you absolutely have to ask the six questions that
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  I talk about in my video. Six
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  questions to ask when your ex wants you back. And
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  of course, I'll link that in the upper right hand
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  corner on YouTube. People's respect to interest level
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  and you go up when you're willing to have tough
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  conversations. And often people don't want to
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  ask the six questions because it is a tough
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  conversation. And sometimes they live to
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  regret it when they don't ask the questions. So
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  whether you're trying to get an ex back or you're
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  in a relationship and you're not happy, don't be
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  afraid to have those tough conversations. They
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  actually bring you closer besides raising their
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  respect for you. And you definitely have to make
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  them pay a price, which is one of the six questions.
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  How are you going to make this
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  up to me? And I'm not necessarily talking
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  monetarily. When you're deciding what the
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  price should be, ask for the moon. If
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  they really want you back, they're going to have to
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  pay that price. And then they'll think twice
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  about ever breaking up with you again. Okay.
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  So now I want to hear from you. What
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  do you think that you did or didn't do in your
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  relationship that caused your ex to lose respect
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  for you and eventually break up with you? Please
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  comment below. And if you would like my help
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  to get your ex back, please contact me at
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  theartoflove .net and we will send you the rates.
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  They are not on the website.
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  And the direct link to that is
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  underneath every single video and podcast. If
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  you found this video helpful, please like,
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  subscribe and share. If you're listening to this as
• 9:43
  a podcast, please rate and review. And
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  finally remember that love inspires and powers uplifts
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  and enlightens.