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6 Lessons From My First 6 Months as a Mom · Hey Hana

0:06
SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: Happy Wednesday.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Hey Hannah.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I have accomplished so much since the last time I spoke to you.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: And really, I didn't do anything.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: I just celebrated my baby's six-month birthday.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people are like, Hannah, what are you doing celebrating half a birthday?
0:25
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: I've never celebrated half birthdays.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: That's not a thing that I do.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm not one of those people that walks around telling people like today's my half birthday.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, no.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: But two things are true here.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: I've always wanted to celebrate all beautiful and wonderful things all the time for my friends and family.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: I love making birthdays a big deal for the people that I love, et cetera.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: So when it comes to my baby, I'm like, of course I'm going to do it.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: And the second thing that's true is that once you become a mom, you make it to six months.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: It's like, holy shit.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: I did it.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: I did it.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: I actually can't imagine how I'm going to feel at the one year mark.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Cause then I'm really going to be like, whoa, we, you guys, we survived.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I already feel that way just at six months, years old.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: Six months, years old.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: At six months old.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Half of me is like, I can't believe she's already six months.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: And the other half of me is like, thank goodness she's six months.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Because with every month you see a bigger personality develop.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: And then they become a little bit more flexible, a little bit less like breakable.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
1:33
SPEAKER_00: But I love seeing her personality develop.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: And I just had to celebrate.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, wow, I just really dove in there.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: Quick life catch up.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Peter and I leave for a sandals.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: It's actually Beaches.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: I keep calling it Sandals.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: I think it's the same thing.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Beaches is the family version.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, Sandals is just for adults.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Peter and I had the opportunity to go to Sandals last year and we had the best time.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you guys, but I never thought of Sandals as anything but sort of like a cheesy commercial.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: And then going to experience it, I was like, oh my gosh, it is elite, let me tell you.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: It is just beautiful.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: I've just never done the all-inclusive thing.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, I've never, it's not really the thing that I'm drawn to.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: But after our experience last year of going to Sandals, just Peter and I, we were like, oh my God, we could do this all the time.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: It was so stunning.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Such a stunning property.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: The one that we went to was um St.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Vincent.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: And the water is like crystal clear.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: It's just the coolest experience.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: And it was amazing.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And I was pregnant when we went.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: I was like secretly pregnant.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: And you know, you're just like in the weeds of the first trimester.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Like I just felt so like my skin was breaking out like crazy.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: I felt anytime I ate something, I was bloated, but I was starving.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: I remember eating more than Peter on that trip.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, I bring this all up because we're so excited that this weekend we're actually headed to Beaches, which is the family version of Sandals, and we're going for this thing called like the fall fam jam.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to go.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, Andy's coming with us.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: This will be this is what we had to get her a little passport for and all that stuff.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: So it'll be really fun to travel down there and have just a few days of actual vacation as a family of three.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: We've never done it before.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: So I'll have lots to report.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna try really hard to squeeze in an episode next week, but because we are traveling, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just saying that here.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: If you don't see me next week, this is why it's just because I'm in the thick of traveling and couldn't find time to squeeze in an episode.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: But wow, I'm moving really quickly here.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm off to the races.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: So before we dive into everything, I also wanted to do a quick TV recap because I've caught up a bit.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I've caught up and I'm pretty excited.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: First of all, I watched a few episodes of the second season of Chad Powers.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: I've said this before, but that show is a must-watch.
3:55
SPEAKER_00: I find it so fun.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: The episodes are quick, and surprisingly, Glenn Powell is so funny in this role.
4:02
SPEAKER_00: I didn't expect him to be like the funny guy.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, he's always like the good-looking bro.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: But if you just want something funny to watch, like with a family, with friends, put on the first episode.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: Again, it's all about this guy who plays a quarterback who sort of like ruins his career and he tries to make a comeback disguised as someone else.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: And um, in the second season, everybody's on to him.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: And it's yeah, Peter and I laugh out loud when we watch the show.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: It reminds me of Hulu's version of Ted Lasso.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, we started the second season.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: We watched a few episodes.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: Every night we talk about like, should we watch it?
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Should we watch it?
4:39
SPEAKER_00: But there's so much happening on TV right now.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Tonight, as I'm recording this, I record this on Tuesdays.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: We have the Dancing with the Stars premiere, which I'm definitely gonna watch.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: We have football, which takes up so much time and energy.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: We did a little fantasy football league between some people from my family, some of my best friends, and some of Peter's family.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's like a really weird mix of us and it's so fun.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: We're all so competitive.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: But shockingly, Peter and I won this past week.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: So we've been so into watching every single game that we can catch.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: But hopefully we'll have some downtime and we can finally watch some more Chad Powers.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay, another thing I watched, this one I did while the baby was sleeping.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: And luckily for me, I actually got Peter to watch this.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: You guys won't believe I watched the first episode of the new Real Housewives of New York.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if I should call it the new Real Housewives of New York.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, let's be honest, this is the rebrand of the rebrand.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: This is the rebranded rebrand version.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: And I was shocked that Peter actually watched this whole thing.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: Andy had just gone down for the night and I put it on, and Peter was like, What is this?
5:47
SPEAKER_00: And then I just kept sort of dancing around what it was.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, no, look, we gotta watch it.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna see like rich people, you know, like this will be fun.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't know any of these new people either.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: So it actually weirdly was a good episode to watch if you're trying to get a spouse to watch it with you because you're learning all of the characters, and that's the best part when you start a show.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: It's hard for someone to jump into the middle of a season of Housewives because they're like, who the heck are all these rich people talking?
6:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: I can't keep track.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, Peter keeps interrupting me.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: So I have no idea what I'm talking about right now.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, oh, I was just about to look up the cast of Ronie.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: The people who are back are Cy, Jessel, and Aaron.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: They were already arguing, and I just like kind of didn't care about what they were talking about.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: But I like the three of them.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: I actually, Sai has always come off a little mean girlish to me, but I already liked her much more in this season opener.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: She seems like she's getting a little bit more likable.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: Erin looked great.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: Jessel had like a whole new face.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: She looked great.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: But those three, it's like whatever.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: I enjoy them.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay, the new people, Haley Glassman, Erica Hammond, Daisy Toy, and then Carol Radswell, obviously overturning vet.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: We will not forget Carol Radswell.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: There was barely any of her.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: The show opened in like the weirdest Carrie Bradshaw sex in the city type way, where it was Carol like typing on her laptop and being like, you know, what is what is that stupid line Carrie Bradshaw says?
7:15
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't help but wonder.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Like that type of thing.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: But then she wasn't in the show the rest of the show, which was bizarre.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: They went to Daisy Toy, and we got like a Martha Stewart cameo, which was really fun to watch.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: I wanted more Martha.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: She really delivered.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: That's what actually got Peter to keep watching.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: He was like, Martha Stewart.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: She was just really funny, talking about the store-bought cake, and I liked her.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: That made me like Daisy a lot.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: I already like that she's not Mrs.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: Fancy Schmancy.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: I love watching her do makeup.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: And she seems like she's a bit grounded.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: I like her story already.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: Erica Hammond, we really didn't see much of, although I know she's the one who likes owns the island.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Her husband is rich, rich, rich.
7:55
SPEAKER_00: So I think she'll be a fun one to watch just because it's, you know, just like I love Beverly Hills to see all the money.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to see that with Erica.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Haley Glassman was so interesting to me.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: She's definitely like the oddball.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: She seems like Kookie McCookerson, but weirdly likable.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: I had no idea that she was related to the John and Kate plus 8 scandal with John Goslin.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: John and Kate Plus 8 keeps coming up right now.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: I know that one of the sex tuplets is in the new season of Special Forces, which is another reality TV show I love to watch.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, I had no idea that she was the one to date John Goslin.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my goodness.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: I did not expect to see that.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't look like she did back in the day, nor would I even remember what she looked like.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: But at the time it was such a big scandal.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: So it'll be interesting to get to know her.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: But so far, the cast has me hooked.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: I like everyone.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like an amazing episode where I'm like, oh, I have to tune in this season.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: But I already was like, okay, I like these girls.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: I especially like the new girls.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: And obviously, Mrs.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: Carol Radswell.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to see her more.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: So funny, she used to live like a block away from my apartment in the West Village when I lived in the city.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: And I saw her, no joke, once a week, like all the time.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: I could always spot her because she was always wearing like really oversized clothing and walking at the slowest pace I've ever seen in my life.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: She was always like on her phone and sort of like dragging her feet walking very slowly.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: And she still has the same apartment.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: The same apartment she had when she was like best friends with Bethany and uh season seven, eight, nine, whatever that was, of Ronnie.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: They showed her apartment in this first episode and she's in the same spot.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, good for her.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: That's the way to do it in New York.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: But outside of those two TV shows, I feel like I still have work to do.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: I need to watch the new season of Mormon Wives.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: I know there's only five episodes out, a really short season.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: But like, ugh, sometimes I don't look forward to watching that one because it just seems like work, like homework.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm just watching a bunch of like really beautiful put-together women argue about the most ridiculous stuff, but whatever.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: That's the one I need to watch next.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: And also Dancing with the Stars tonight.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to think of who I'm gonna be rooting for.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Julia Stiles.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: Julia Stiles and Jenna DeWan.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to watch.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: And outside of that, I'm looking forward to the first episode only because I don't know who half of the cast is.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Do you guys feel that way?
10:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm like, am I old?
10:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know who half these people are.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: So I need that first episode to sort of draw me into who I'm actually gonna like and vote for this entire season.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: And also I have to root for my fellow Jupiter guy, Tyler Cameron.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: He just like always returns to my TV in some capacity.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: It's so funny.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Gotta love it though.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: Gotta get the Jupiter shout out.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: Plus, we had the Emmys on last night.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: There's like all this Taylor Swift Easter egg stuff about how her first country album is gonna come out soon.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: I would be excited for any new music from her, but I cannot get involved in the Easter eggs.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, no way.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: Once you read into it, you can't unread into it.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: And it's just too much for me to handle.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: And then we had a solid Buffalo Bills win.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: Was so excited for that.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: If you guys don't know, my entire family is from Buffalo.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: So I was raised with a very intense Buffalo Bills fandom from our family.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: My dad has season tickets.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: I always joke that he's like the founding father of Bills Mafia.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: He goes to a few games a year.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: My brothers go, like we're all obsessed.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: And um it was a great first game for Josh Allen and the Bills.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: And I love that everybody is behind Josh Allen.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Like everybody loves him.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Kids love him, men love him, women love him, parents love him, grandparents love him.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, just this is exactly what I want.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: And hopefully, I'm not even gonna say it, but hopefully it's a good season.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: All right, what am I talking about?
11:56
SPEAKER_00: I've talked about everything under the sun.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: Let's go ahead and dive into today's topic.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: So, in spirit of Andy turning six months old, I wanted to talk about what these past six months have taught me in motherhood.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: Somehow I feel like I just had her and that I've also known her my whole life.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't really make sense.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: I've just been thinking a lot about what these past six months have taught me in full.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: And obviously, I've learned a lot about like feeding and naps and how she works and how much stuff I actually need to leave the house for one small person.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: But like the biggest lessons that I've learned and the biggest things I would want to tell other new moms is the stuff about like my body, my relationships, my work and like what about my day actually makes me feel meaningful.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: And I'm still trying to figure this all out.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: But like, you know, I still care about my career.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: I worked so hard before I became a mom.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: And it was like my identity flipped on its freaking head.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Like suddenly I was not this career woman.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm at home taking care of a baby.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: And for the first few months, I was hard to leave because she hated the car seat.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: And I just heard her scream all the time.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: But like, I still want to make money.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: It's still a huge part of my personality.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: I have always been career driven.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: I still love to work out.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: I have a really hard time finding time to work out.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Just today, Peter was home taking calls this morning.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: And so I was able to escape while she napped.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: But I probably work out once a week right now.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: It's insane.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's hard for me because it's like my entire life, I've done it for my mental health.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: So, yes, I've learned a lot.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: But in the grand scheme of things, there is so much that I'm still figuring out myself.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just realizing that I have to like keep measuring this new life against the expectations I had for my old one.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: And like who knows, maybe it's those expectations that need to change a little bit, you know?
13:46
SPEAKER_00: So today I'm gonna share six things I've learned in these six months of motherhood.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm very much still figuring this out.
13:53
SPEAKER_00: These are the things I'm reminding myself of sometimes daily.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: So the first one, the most important one, everything is a season.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: And everyone will tell you this when you enter motherhood, but it's so true.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: Everything is just a phase, everything is a season, everything passes.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: You realize how fast the phases go when you already change them out of those newborn clothes.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Those first few outfits, you put them in for like a week or two, and then it's like boom, on to the next.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: They suddenly don't fit into them.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: That change taught me so much.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, I cannot harp in these moments because they really are fleeting.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: One day you're up 10 times a night and you're cozy and comfortable in getting up, and you feel like weirdly energized, and you enjoy the quiet time of getting up with them in the middle of the night.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you're listening to a book or listening to a podcast or watching a TV show or just sitting in the quiet with them.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: And then suddenly you're like, I can't do this anymore.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: I can't wake up in the middle of the night.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: Like suddenly it becomes awful and treacherous.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: And like, I can't keep waking up in the middle of the night.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know when that shift happened, but like that's another thing.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: I keep I sometimes I think back to those first few weeks where I found waking up with her in the middle of the night so precious.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: And then, like, how quickly it changes, you know.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Like that's just an example of that being a season.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: But I tell myself this when I'm having a day where her naps are only 30 minutes and I'm getting absolutely no time for myself.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: I haven't showered or brushed my teeth, or like the nights where she's teething and I'm waking up all the time and I'm like, is this gonna end?
15:29
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh, I remind myself of those small changes that I saw already in just the first few months of her being with me.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh yeah, of course, this is gonna change.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: Everybody told me the minute I gave birth.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: They were like, as soon as you get comfortable, it's gonna change.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: And they're right.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: They're so right.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: You think you know what you're doing in one season, and the moment you figure it out, it's like boom, onto the next.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it happens so gradually that we don't even notice, and other times we just wake up with a new baby.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Like she just changed her mind.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: She's not gonna do that thing anymore.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know where the transition happened of her being okay with car rides, but like somewhere in the past few months, she just decided she was okay with the car.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: Because let me tell you, those first few weeks, she hated it.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, truly hated it.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: I did not go anywhere.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, if I needed to get creamer for my coffee, I was texting Peter, like, you have to get this on your way home from work.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: I did not leave the house.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: And then suddenly that's changed completely.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: And every day we are bopping around town and she enjoys it.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: But I can't even tell you when it changed, you know?
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Like that's just my example of it.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: It's like these things keep changing and you wish for relief, and then suddenly you blink and you have it, and you need relief in another stage.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: But the everything is a season lesson reminds me not to make everything a milestone.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I just need her to sleep longer, or like, I just need her to take a bottle.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: By the way, who doesn't need those things?
17:01
SPEAKER_00: I need those things desperately.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: But like the minute you get to that one thing, you're gonna want another.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: So you might as well enjoy the one that you're in and just remember it's fleeting.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait until she can sit up.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: But then when she sits up, you're gonna be like, oh my God, it's so sad.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't lay down anymore.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: There's always gonna be another thing we're waiting for.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just like a reminder to myself that these moments that felt all-consuming, like I cannot move on without this changing.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: Even if it feels long, like boom, it's done.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: It's changed.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: On to the next sleep training killed me.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, actually killed me.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: It was, I think it was a total of Peter counted.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: I think it was 12 nights of her, of us having to quote unquote sleep train her.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Like it was a freaking process.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: You guys remember me talking about it.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: Now in hindsight, I found myself talking about sleep training and telling people, like, you have to do it.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: It's easier than you think.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, it was not easy.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: If I pull myself back to that moment, that was a crazy experience.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: I kept joking, I wanted to throw myself down the stairs.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's how I felt.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: But that's just an example of something that felt so all-consuming a few months ago, and now I hardly think about.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Okay, another lesson is for all the women out there, your body is capable of so much more than you actually give it credit for.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, before I became a mom, I thought of strength in terms of fitness, you know, like strength was a correlation to fitness, period.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: And I'm talking about physical strength, whatever.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: But now I just think about how we were so brilliantly designed for the challenges of motherhood.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: The feeding, the caring, the getting up and down from the floor nonstop, the walking around trying to settle them, bouncing all the time, waking up, doing it all again, doing it with no sleep.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: There's so much effort, like physical effort that goes uncounted for.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I forget that I've just been moving around all day on my feet because I didn't go to the gym.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, did I even work out today?
19:08
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, you're walking around carrying a 15 pounds all the time, going up and down, left to right, and bouncing nonstop.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: It takes a toll on your body and you don't even realize it because you're their lifeline and you're like, well, of course I'm gonna do this.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: But like those first few months of feeling a bit odd in your own shell.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, if you're if you're nursing, you still feel like your body isn't for you, right?
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Like your body is for someone else.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: You're feeding yourself, you're starving all the time.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: You're so thirsty all the time.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: And I feel I constantly feel like I'm depleted of new nutrients.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Like I look at my hair, my skin, I'm like, oh, I just am missing the buoyancy I used to have.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: But it's like, well, my body was built for this.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Like it's doing what it needs to do in order to feed her and to be there for her.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: And that kind of strength is something you can't build in a gym.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, I guess you can kind of, but you know what I mean.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: It's this type of strength that we were designed for.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: But like real talk, sometimes I look at myself and I'm like, oh, I'm like frustrated with how I look.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: And then other times I look at myself and I'm so impressed with it.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm like, wow, look at you doing all these things and not sleeping and constantly feeding another human, being their lifeline, being their only source of food for six months.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you don't look bad.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: And then other times I see my posture, you know, I'll like catch a glimpse of my posture as I'm nursing or something.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: Or you like just are in your feels about like, ugh, I don't look the way I used to look anymore.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: But I just try not to sit in that emotion for too long because it's just not even fair.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: It's like not fair.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: No matter what, our body's made a person.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: We have to give ourselves an insane amount of grace to come in and out of that.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: And it's been a challenge for me, like a challenge for me to tell myself, oh, my body deserves food right now.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: My body deserves rest, it deserves recovery, it deserves care.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: All of these things that I feel like I never really prioritized before in the same way.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's sort of this like catch 22, because right now sometimes I feel like nothing matters as much as my baby.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I'm like, I don't matter.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: My body doesn't matter.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Then I'm like, no, no, this is what's feeding her.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is her lifeline.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: I have to treat this with the utmost respect.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
21:35
SPEAKER_00: It's like I go in and out of feeling sort of like, ugh, what is this?
21:39
SPEAKER_00: Who is this body?
21:40
SPEAKER_00: And other times being like, no, no, rejoice.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Take care of it, take pride in it.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: This is your source of life.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: This is your baby's source of life.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay, another lesson for me is that being with her is doing something.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: Now, you might be like, hey, Of what?
22:01
SPEAKER_00: But this is because there's always a running list in my head.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: I need to answer that email.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: I need to clean the kitchen.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: I need to empty the dishwasher.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: I need to be making money again.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I doing?
22:10
SPEAKER_00: I feel unproductive because my entire identity used to be my work.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, obviously, I'm not working the same way I was before.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm not getting anything done today.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: What did I do today?
22:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, truly, what did I do?
22:24
SPEAKER_00: What did I accomplish?
22:25
SPEAKER_00: I should be making more money.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: I should be running those errands, getting these things done, X, Y, and Z.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes your child is so demanding that it's like, I can't even, like I said before, I can't even shower.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: I don't even have time to do that.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: But that thought follows me right onto the floor when I'm playing with her.
22:43
SPEAKER_00: And this is my reminder to myself that like feeding her, changing her, comforting her, it's all real work.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: Like you feed her and then she gets hungry again.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: You change her and she needs another diaper.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: You comfort her, and then later she needs it again.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: Like again and again and again.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: You play with her, she needs your attention.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: She needs to know you're looking at her, playing with her.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: You leave the room to pee, she's crying.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: Where are you?
23:06
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's all real work, even though there's nothing I can cross off my list.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: And I have to give myself grace of the fact that like being with her, simply existing with her, is doing something.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: It's giving my utmost attention.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm responding to her sounds, her smiles, helping her explore the world.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: And like those moments count for yourself, even if nobody can see them.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: And even if you feel like, what the heck am I doing with my time?
23:34
SPEAKER_00: And this has been such a transition because I'm still struggling with this, but I'm such a task-related person.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: Like I love to cross things off my list of getting them done.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's just like, oh crap.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: I literally did not get anything done today.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: But she was always fed, she was always cared for, played with, clean, loved abundantly, like all of it.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm gonna have to remind myself, okay, I did plenty.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: I you did plenty.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Like if you kept your baby alive and well all day, you you're literally doing the Lord's work.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: And this is where I struggle because I also go back and forth and I'm like, I can still, I can want to do all that and still want time for my own work and still value the need to do something that belongs to me, you know?
24:21
SPEAKER_00: If I could count the amount of unproductive days I've had in the past six months, or at least that felt unproductive to me, it would have been almost every day.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: Like for real.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: But I just remind myself that like being with her and existing with her is the most important thing I could be doing.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay, the fourth thing I've learned is that we're never supposed to do this alone.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: Hello, they say it takes a village.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: I've heard people say that my whole life.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: And everybody talks about this, but like, oh my gosh, you don't know it until you have kids.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: Until you have kids.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: We've been staying with Peter's parents, and I am so supremely grateful for Peter's parents and their involvement in everything.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: And my parents are the same way, even from afar.
25:05
SPEAKER_00: Our friends are the same way.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: Like the people who show up for you and who say, Let me help, let me help.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: I've like finally gotten into a cozy acceptance of letting others help me.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: It's taken a long time.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: And I talked about it takes a village in another episode, like actually saying what would help and then letting someone do it.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: It's hard to do.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: It's not my comfort zone.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: But having a baby changes that.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: It's like people want to jump in and help.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, like sometimes you just need a minute to sit down and not be holding the baby.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: And letting someone else help you, even for 10 minutes, can go so far for your mental health that day.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, funny enough, I was catching up with one of my best friends here, and I was telling her, like, I'm having the hardest time going to the gym.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: I cannot find time to go.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: If I don't go at five, and this is like a whole separate thing I could get into, but if I don't go at 5 a.m., like truly at five, I feel like I miss my window.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I miss my window because she wakes up at like 6:37.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: And by the time I go there, work out, come back.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, Peter is still sleeping, so he is with her and can respond to her.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: But like then he leaves and he's gone.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: And my day is split up with her naps.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I just like can't find a time to go by myself without her.
26:24
SPEAKER_00: Hey, so, anyways, I was telling my friend this, and she's like, Oh, Saturday morning, why don't you come over, drop Andy off?
26:31
SPEAKER_00: I'll be home with the kids, and you go to the gym.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: She lives five minutes away from my favorite of Peter's gyms.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, actually, okay.
26:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know what?
26:42
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: I will take you, I will try that.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: Let's do it.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: So Peter and I go over there in the morning.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Andy had just woken up from a nap.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: She was fed a little bit.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: We drop her off and we're like, all right, let's run to the gym.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: We were probably gone 20, 25 minutes, max.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: And she texts me, my friend texts me, being like, okay, she wants milk.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: I was like, ah, I knew it.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: I knew that was gonna happen.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: But I can't even explain how that shaped my entire day for the better.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: Having those 20, 25 minutes to myself to do a workout, knowing that she was totally safe, Peter and I didn't have to think about it.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: We could just be there, put our headphones on and sort of check out.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: It changed the course of my weekend, like fully.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: And it's those moments.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: The help can feel so small and can still make such a difference.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: I mean, when I got back to my friend's house, she's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: Did that even help?
27:32
SPEAKER_00: Did you even get a workout in?
27:33
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yes, you have no idea.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Like that felt amazing.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: I've just learned that like I don't need to reach a quote unquote breaking point in order to really ask for help or deserve help.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: It's like if somebody offers you, just freaking take it, you know?
27:48
SPEAKER_00: Like we're just not supposed to do this entire process alone.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Even if it's keeping you company, like someone hanging out with you and coming over and just bringing you a cup of coffee and visiting, it's like sometimes it really pulls you out of this weird head space you're in.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: Even if they're not directly helping you, they leave and you're like, wow, I feel like that was so helpful.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Even though you still did everything yourself to help with the baby, you know, just like sometimes having someone else to talk to or exist with changes your energy for the day and can like take you out of this weird mental groundhog's day brain.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: Cause I totally feel that way sometimes.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: And then suddenly you're like, wow, I have more pep in my step today.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, what changed?
28:30
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, oh my God, I had a nice little break in my day because so-and-so came over, or because I went to the gym for 20 minutes, you know?
28:37
SPEAKER_00: Okay, the next lesson, and this one is so obvious, but I feel like I always need to talk about it.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: It's that the smallest moments are somehow the biggest ones to me in this season.
28:48
SPEAKER_00: And this is like, if you're like me and you had a full career before becoming a mom, you know that those big moments are the things that you really worked for.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: Like I had a show, I had a broadcast, I had finished projects, I had an Emmy, like all of these things I worked really freaking hard for.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: They were what I would describe as these like big, exciting points in my career.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: And now that's like flipped on its head.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Now, when you have a kid, it's like, oh, I'm not looking at these big moments and these big milestones anymore.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you know, when they have solid food for the first time, or I look forward to her crawling or taking her first step or saying her first words, like those are big milestone moments.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: But those aren't the ones that mean the most to me.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: It's like they sound so cheesy, but it's like when you're sitting outside and the sun hits her perfectly and you're looking at her eyelashes in the sunlight, or watching her nurse and she looks up and smiles at you, or she makes a new sound and you've never heard that sound before, or like when she nuzzles her head into your neck, nothing is happening.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: But I feel like a million frickin' bucks.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Like there is nothing I can add to my resume, nothing that I I felt like I was working towards or climbing the ladder for.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: But it's like the most gratifying feeling.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm not climbing the freaking ladder right now at work.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: I find myself asking myself these things like, God, am I still interesting?
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Is there anything about me that's interesting?
30:26
SPEAKER_00: It's like, is anything that I'm doing important?
30:29
SPEAKER_00: But it's because so much of my previous life was a focus of that, of like trying to find importance in my career.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: Whereas now all I have to do is look at her and I could feel the weight of what I'm doing.
30:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, I'm quote unquote covering less ground and like getting less things done, but I still have this like enormous amount of meaning and excitement that I didn't get in my old routine.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: This truly happened to me the other day, where I was looking at her and it was like the light hit her eyelashes.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I brought that up.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting outside and it was this perfect day where the fall crisp air had just started.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like watching her little bobblehead move and blinking and like looking at the sky and looking at the light around her.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't even believe that this exists.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: And she's mine.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: Like what?
31:23
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's that it's those moments, and I know we've all had them as moms, but it's that moment that sort of pulls you out of all of your other bullshit in your head of like, am I still interesting?
31:32
SPEAKER_00: Is what I'm doing important, like that type of stuff.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, who cares?
31:37
SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: I'll figure that out later, you know?
31:40
SPEAKER_00: But it takes you out of that brain that's like chasing the big moments and makes you appreciate these little tiny celebrations that we can't get back.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: And that brings me to my last lesson, the sixth one, the most important one.
31:56
SPEAKER_00: Time we cannot get back.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: I talk about work all the time and how it's hard to fit in, but like work still matters, money still matters, the responsibilities, the goals, they all matter.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: But I've taught myself to let go of the urgency that I used to carry with me about everything with work.
32:15
SPEAKER_00: It's like, does that email need to be answered right now?
32:17
SPEAKER_00: No.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: I need to rock her to sleep right now.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: No, she's getting fussy, and I need to go sit with her and give her my attention.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, does every available nap need to become a work session?
32:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, one of the biggest things for me is like every day she takes a contact nap in the afternoon.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: It's like that last power nap before her last feed and bedtime.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: And I know I've heard women talk about how much they miss contact naps.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: And so I really try to embrace it.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: I used to work every single contact nap.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: Like I would sit her at the kitchen table with me and she would just sort of nurse and fall asleep in my arms.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: And then I would like slowly let go of her and obviously keep her in my lap in a very safe, comfortable spot while I had one hand on my laptop also working.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: And I've sort of let that go, which is crazy.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: I now will like sit in a very comfortable spot on the couch and I just enjoy it.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's only a 30-minute nap, most of the time, actually.
33:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Hannah, what do you need to do for 30 minutes?
33:17
SPEAKER_00: Just freaking sit here with her.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: And that's why this lesson is like the biggest and most important one.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: It's like they're only gonna be this age once.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: They're only gonna be this little once.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: And that thought alone helps me make these choices that I feel like settle my soul a little bit more, push away this urgency to be this like superwoman all the time.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: And it's I do it to myself, but this pressure to get everything done all day, every day.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: It's just been about learning to choose what matters the most for me in this season without treating every choice as like this is permanent for me.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: It's going back to the first thing.
33:51
SPEAKER_00: It's fleeting, it's gonna change.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: I know that these contact naps aren't gonna be forever.
33:56
SPEAKER_00: And so I just have to like loosen my expectation of getting things done in that 30-minute window and just relaxing and setting into hello, the most important thing is just being with her.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, like I say, I'm only six months into this.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure six months from now, I'm gonna look back and listen and laugh at half the things I thought I knew at this point because you know, that's how life works.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: But these are the six things that I know of right now and that I try to remind myself of every day.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: There's just such a mind game that goes into becoming a mom, those first months of a first-time mom.
34:32
SPEAKER_00: It's like constantly reminding ourselves we're allowed to be tired.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: We're allowed to want to break, we're allowed to want to hold them, but also want to walk away for a minute.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: We're allowed to like miss parts of our old life while still being totally obsessed with the person that changed it all, you know?
34:48
SPEAKER_00: But I'd love to hear about what motherhood has taught you guys.
34:51
SPEAKER_00: If you've listened this far, please send me a DM, message me, let me know what your biggest lessons are.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: Whether you're six months in, your kids are fully grown, they're in college, you have grandkids, whatever it is, I don't care.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: I love to hear about everyone's journey as a mom and what it's taught you because it's all helpful.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: We all can help each other out.
35:09
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, send me a message.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: Tell me something you wish you could have told yourself at the beginning, like whatever that looks like for you.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, I will have some fun stories from our next little vacation.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: Wish us luck as we head on our next flight adventures.
35:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I think our flight is at like 6 a.m.
35:23
SPEAKER_00: Lord, pray for us.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: But thank you guys so much for listening.
35:27
SPEAKER_00: I will talk to you guys soon.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.