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108. Invisible Chains · Your Enriched Self

• 0:00
  If I were to take a survey and ask you, what are two things
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  that you would not want to leave home without? Or if you left home
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  without it, you would travel back home to get it. One guest would
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  be your ID, and the other guests would be your cell phone. Now,
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  when you think about ID, the information on your ID or your driver's
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  license, state identification, whatever it might be, passport, you have your
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  data, birth, you have your address, You have information about your height
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  and weight, eye color, lots of information about your external I would say
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  the one thing that I don't think we've spent enough time on is the identity,
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  and that's the internal that part of who we are gets over look by
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  all the external things that we look like or we're supposed to look like.
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  I really believe that it's important to have this right now. This is such
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  a critical time in our humanity that knowing who we are, having identity is
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  very important because the level and the comparison traps and everything that's out there right
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  now can suck you in and pull you, pull every bit of life out
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  of you. I don't know when the comparison trap began, but I would
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  say it began at a very young age, as we were looking around for
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  similarities as opposed to appreciating differences. We weren't really taught to look for people
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  with different ideologies, maybe not that young, but different looks and feels,
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  because it meant that it would challenge our norm Depending on how you were reared
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  and the school you went to, differences were not celebrated, and so we
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  fell into this thing of looking at each other and trying to find what makes
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  us similar and not understanding why we're different or how we can be different and
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  coexist. I really want to help us get free a little bit today.
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  I feel like we've been locked down into this and trapped into this space of
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  comparison. I heard a quote and it, gosh, it's such a good
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  quote. I'm not sure who the person is responsible for this quote. I
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  think Einstein has been given credit for it. But the quote is everybody is
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  a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a
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  tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. That
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  makes me wonder how many people have I judged and how many times have I
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  judged myself in the same light. Friends from all across the globe and Welcome
• 3:17
  to the r Ritsel Podcast. I am your host, my day Noir,
• 3:21
  I amy mindset coach and your mindset advocate, and I just want to start
• 3:27
  off by allowing you a moment to take a deep breath. That's one.
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  Let's do two more. That's two, let's do one last one. You
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  know, I know that was uncomfortable. I know we start the podcasts singing
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  the same tunes. But every once in a while we have to buck the
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  system. We have to change things up a bit so that we can see
• 4:02
  things differently. And so I want to welcome you to this podcast. And
• 4:06
  that's what this environment, this platform I created is all about. I want
• 4:12
  to curate a space where you can truly have self care, you can truly
• 4:15
  have soul care. We can have these conversations, we can change up the
• 4:20
  conversations, whatever it takes, so that you can become more of your enriched
• 4:26
  self. Because I know if you're listening to this podcast, whether you're new
• 4:30
  here, which by the way, welcome to you. And if you're a
• 4:31
  repeat listener, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful that you have invested each
• 4:36
  and every week for one hundred and eight weeks into this environment and this space.
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  So if you're listening, you're listening for a reason. You want to
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  be and show up as the best version of yourself in the world. And
• 4:48
  I already know that about you. So you're in the right place. That's
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  the space, and that's the place you need to be before we get into
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  this week's episode. If you know, you know, I always may a
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  deposit into what I call the bank of you. You are not going to
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  be able to make a withdrawal when life throws you lemons, or life throws
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  darts at you, or whatever life comes at you with You are going to
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  need a place to make a withdrawal. And if you're not making daily deposits
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  into your life, you're going to be bankrupt and it's not going to look
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  pretty out there. So that's why I make an intentional statement each week so
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  that I can make a deposit in the bank of you, and I do
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  so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start your day
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  and to command your mourning. And this week's command your morning affirmation is I
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  trust in my ability to overcome any obstacle that comes my way. I trust
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  in my ability to overcome any obstacle that comes my way. I trust in
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  my ability to overcome any obstacle that comes my way. Now, let's get
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  ready for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. Okay, I'm
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  dedicating this episode to anyone who has felt stuck or is currently feeling stuck.
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  And I want to preface this by saying that feeling stuck, it quite literally,
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  is a feeling. You are not stuck. Okay, you can move,
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  You can make moves. The thing about it is you are being held
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  down by what I'm calling invisible chains. And these invisible chains are really your
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  thought patterns. It is your upbringing, how you are rare, the systems
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  that guided you, the principles that you use to build your value system with,
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  and your goals and your aspirations are around these things. And it's time
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  to get unstuck. It's time to break the patterns because those patterns are preventing
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  you from going where you need to go and doing what it is that in
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  your zone of genius, the thing that makes you genius and not like everybody
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  else. Going back to the fish trying to climb the tree and being judged
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  for climbing a tree when it's in fact the fish you are in and you
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  should be in your zone of genius, but you're stuck. You're stuck looking
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  around. And here's why I believe your stuck. And I want to talk
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  through today those cycles that have you had you stuck, and every once and
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  again it pops up, and I want you to not only identify them,
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  but find ways to break free from them. And it's gonna, I'm not
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  here's the thing. It's not gonna sound like anything brand new. Some of
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  these things are going to be reminders for you. Some may be brand new
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  for you, and some might be a sign that you need to put this
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  into practice, because we're not doing just doing this for information. We're doing
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  this and we're having these conversations for transformation. You've got to be transformed.
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  So if you're listening to this for information, that's great, but that's not
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  serving you, that's not helping you become more enriched. And that's my goal,
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  that's my job. I'm challenging you this week to leave this podcast,
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  using the information that you received about these cycles, to go do something about
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  it. So let's talk about the first cycle. We already started talking about
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  it. It's the comparison cycle. And I cannot tell you how many people
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  I've taught too, how many people I see on social media or people that
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  I don't see on social media. And when I asked, Hey, why
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  don't you on social media? You know, I'm just trying to you know,
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  looking at people like it just makes my anxiety go wild, and I'm
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  like, really, and I think I was insensitive about it for a long
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  time, But I understand why we're here. We're here because we've always been
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  here. As I said before, we spent more time finding people in the
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  world that we're more like us, so we can compare to those people and
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  not look and celebrate the differences of other people. So we created this crazy
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  cycle we're in, and the comparison trap, the comparison cycle with social media
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  has become even more heightened, even more potent. We base our worth,
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  our worth, imagine your precious worth, about who you are and what you
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  can give to this world and the people that you were brought here to serve.
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  You are putting that and pitting that up against someone who has nothing in
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  comparison to you, but because they're out there putting it out there, and
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  it's shiny and it's the new thing, and it's a new kid on the
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  block or whatever it is. It leaves you leaving the social media posts or
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  whatever it is the event feeling less than having self doubt and feeling inadequate.
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  It's distorting your perception. You don't have a perception. You don't have identity,
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  and I want to put that in front of you. I know we
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  have the idea, but I want you to think about who am I?
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  Who are you? Who are you? Take the idea away? Take all
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  the external things, your weight? Who are you? Do you know who
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  you are? Because you're gonna need that going out there in the world.
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  You need to have identity. It's gonna help you recognize how truly accomplished you
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  are with the law and the paths that you yourself have made, which is
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  in itself unique to any other being on this earth. There are things you
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  have experienced, good, better, and different that are unique to you and
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  you alone, and that's what makes you capable and worthy and important. And
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  that's why you should not compare yourself. So I'm going to encourage you to
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  break that invisible chain this week by reminding yourself of those accomplishments that you made
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  reminding yourself of the strengths that you have. It's so interesting. In our
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  business, we do an end of year review, and for years this has
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  been a practice that we do mid years actually and the end of years.
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  For a while there we stop doing the mid years and I was like,
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  oh, that's one less you know, task that I need to complete.
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  But what would happen at the end of year when we were looking at all
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  the projects that I had done and looking at all the work that I had
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  impact on. And sometimes it would take me days to go back to old
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  emails and go back to old files to really really look at the things I
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  had an opportunity to impact. And when I look back on it, I
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  was able to see how much I accomplished in that year. But it took
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  me sitting down and spending time identifying the work that I had done in a
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  year. Imagine over a period of years or even for some of you in
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  your lifetime, when have you when was the last time you fill in the
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  blank you spent time acknowledging your accomplishments, your strengths. That's your homework this
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  week. Write it down. You will surprise yourself about the things that You've
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  accomplished the things that you have overcome, and they're not supposed to be storybook
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  cookie cutter. They're supposed to be unique to you. So don't look to
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  compare yourself to anybody else. That's one way to break through. The other
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  way to break through is to focus on your growth. Focus on your growth
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  and your progress. Remember progress over perfection. Look at the things that are
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  meaningful to you, not the things that are impressing the other people around you.
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  I write a quote that says people spend time getting things and buying things
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  to impress people that they don't like and don't like them. Hello, why
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  are you doing this to yourself? We're trying to break free right now.
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  So again, practice a gratitude practice reminding yourself, identifying those accomplishments, and
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  also spend time focusing on your growth and progress. Here's cycle number two.
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  This is one of my favorite ones, and it kind of goes back to
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  I don't know, I'm just I'm gonna put it in the K through twelve
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  space. The cycle of having the same standard for success. Society gives us
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  a one size fits all, And have you ever tried on a one size
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  fits all? I know I have, and I'm like, this don't fit
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  me. Okay, this does not fit. I mean it fits, but
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  does it really fit? The one size fits all is not really a thing.
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  Guys, Like, that's what we have been gained to believe, is
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  that we can just all do the same thing and lock in on that and
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  keep it going. You know, I watch YouTube. I'm sure many of
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  us watch YouTube, and it's so interesting to see these ads come up and
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  people talk about their success and the things they do and the things that they've
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  been able to make, you know, six figures with and do all these
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  different things, and those things are cool, and you know, I believe
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  that the people, I mean whatever, But I always wonder if I tried
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  every single thing on this YouTube that they're telling me to do, that's gonna
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  help me make six figures. I know it's not gonna work. You know
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  why because that person has a different definition of success. So whatever program you
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  decide to join or go into or whatever, identify your success measures first,
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  because I think you're going to find yourself disappointed with how it's producing for you.
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  And that's because we've put ourselves in this measurement. We look at this
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  person on YouTube, and we're like, I can do what they did.
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  Their measure of success is the six figures. Their measure of successes whatever.
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  That may not be your same measure. You may not even like what they're
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  doing. But again, you're trying to fit yourself cookie cutter, one size
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  fits all into this standard. Change your standard for success, not to fit
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  the world standard, but to create your own. If I went ahead and
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  did everything I saw on the YouTube, where's really where are my heart?
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  Where's my heart work? If I'm doing everything everybody says do, where are
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  the things that feed my heart? Where are the things I can give heart
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  to serve the people I was brought here to serve? Where are those things
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  at? You're not going to find them because you've just lost sight of those
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  things by chasing these markers of success. Oh that person did that at thirty,
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  I gotta do it at thirty. That person did that in college.
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  I gotta do it in college. No, no, no, no,
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  that's somebody else's path. So what needs to happen to break free from that
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  is to define your own path. Right, take time to understand what it
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  means to be successful. And there are going to be some factors that you
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  have to consider such as is it material wealth, Is it that you are
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  personally fulfilled? Is it that you have a sense of purpose, which is
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  one of my favorite ones, and or is it that you have more meaningful
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  relationships? What are you defining as success? That's the first thing. The
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  other thing I would say is to prioritize your well being, and that well
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  being is all you. Your physical self, your emotional self, your mental
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  self, your financial self, your educational self, and the list goes on.
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  Prioritize that what is important? Is it your education? Do you need
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  therapy? Do you need to be moving every day? Do you need a
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  gym membership? What do you need so that you can begin to define success
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  for yourself. The last cycle that has kept you stuck is the accepting the
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  average cycle. Yes, that's one that's surely going to quickly erode the ambition
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  that you've had because you have accepted mediocrity. Think about parts of your life.
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  I'm not judging you, because I got my own little mediocre circles in
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  my life that I am breaking free from. But think about the places in
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  your life right now that you have accepted average. You're not average, You're
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  not limited, but you have allowed limited thoughts to set you up in a
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  playpen of average. Now not only are you limited, but you're in a
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  box. How are you going to be able to aim high when you're limited
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  to when you're limited to standing low? What happens in the average space?
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  And I can tell you this because personally I have done a lot of average
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  ish in my life, and it was because I feared failure. And it's
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  not really failure. It might there might be what you call an outcome A
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  and an outcome B, and there's naturally a desired outcome, what you believe
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  would happen and what actually happens. I think a lot of times we look
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  at if the thing we believed should happen didn't happen, we failed. But
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  what that's telling us is there are some things to learn about why it didn't
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  happen, so that we can get better the next time around. So,
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  speaking from a person who accept an average, that was one of my areas
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  of opportunity, and it caused me to settle. It caused me not to
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  buck the system or change things up too much, because if I did that,
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  I would have to challenge my systems. I would have to challenge how
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  I was being governed, my internal government as I call it. And so
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  here's how you challenge and you break out of the accepting average cycle. What
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  we can start doing very quickly is just changing language. It can go from
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  I can't, I can I can learn, I can improve. It can
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  go from this is the area I'm weakend to this is my greatest opportunity to
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  learn. It's something that's simple because what that's doing, it's retraining your mind
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  and creating new systems that will allow you to go past a traditional sense,
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  to get past what you're not able to do, and focus more on your
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  capabilities. And the other thing that you can do, which is one of
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  my favorite things to do, and one of the most important things to do,
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  is to celebrate your progress. I always talk about celebrating your winds,
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  celebrating your large winds, your small winds. It doesn't matter how big are
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  small. Celebrate You've got to recognize it because when you celebrate the wind,
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  you're taking a step forward, and that's what you want to do. You
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  want forward movement, you want movement in the direction that's ahead. And doing
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  that celebration, participating, especially not just in celebration, but in your own
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  celebration. You're saying something very important to you about you when you do that,
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  so think about that. I hope you found freedom in this conversation.
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  I want you to break these invisible chains, these cycles that have kept you
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  inactive in your own life. It's time to actively work to reshaping your life
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  by reshaping your mindset and your behaviors. This is your life, this is
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  your journey, and it's gonna be you to become more enriched, to embrace
• 22:38
  the authentic you, that identity of you that helps you align with your values
• 22:48
  and your future. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritzeb
• 22:56
  podcast. And the only way I'm gonna know this is if you leave me
• 22:59
  some feed Feedback is a gift and it is free to give, and I
• 23:03
  would like to hear from you. I would like to know what resonated with
• 23:07
  you regarding this week's episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform
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  in which you listen to this podcast. Follow the stars. When you get
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  there, leave a five star rating. But in all seriousness, when you
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  get there, you can share your feedback on this podcast and that helps us.
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  And when you share your feedback on this podcast and helps others find us
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  in these podcast streets. So we would definitely appreciate that you can also share
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  this episode with your friends and family right from the podcast. So right from
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  the podcast platform in which you're listening to this episode, hit the share button
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  and send it to the last three to five people that you spoke with today.
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  Also, you can share this on your socials. You can find me
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  primarily on Instagram because that's my jam, that's where I am. You can
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  find me at my Enriched Self that's m y E N RI c h E
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  D s E LF, and you can hashtag this episode. You can tag
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  me. I would love to hear from you, so you can showcase your
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  friends and families and those in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
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  feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you to check out
• 24:18
  the show notes. In the show notes, we have the Affirmation of the
• 24:22
  Week, the quote of the week, and there you can also find my
• 24:26
  Amazon shop. The Your Rich Self shop has two items right now, a
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  journal which is the show Up Everyday Journal as well as they Show Up Everyday
• 24:37
  notebook. So check those out in my Amazon shops and finally, take what
• 24:44
  you can from this episode and do what you must in the next one hundred
• 24:48
  and sixty eight hours so that you can become more of your enriched self.
• 24:55
  Until we meet again, the bo