Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Choose your Battles 🫠 Mum & Partner Edition

Transcript

Choose your Battles 🫠 Mum & Partner Edition · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apoda production.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: up together.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow and find the
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: lessons to grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow and we're here to be your expander. Hello, guys,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: welcome back to Grow And I feel like me to
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: be so giggy in this one. And it's going to
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: be so relatable if you are a mum or if
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: you have a relationship. Yes, oh my gosh, guys have
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: seen me talk about four years and years and years
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: just like talking about choosing your heart because in life
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: has so many different hearts. It's like, jus your hard,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I've got this new thing with Like Steve, we always
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: just say, like choose your battle with the kids. Is
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: it worth a battle? Is it worth the energy? Is
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: it worth the fire? Is it worth them getting upset
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: and so many things. Now that we're speaking about it more,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not worth it. No, keep everyone happy,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Like does it really matter? Like why are we obsessing
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: over that? And just fucking chill. Yeah. So we've made
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: a whole list and.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: It's mum life but also like relates to radition too.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a bit of both. Yeah, so both at
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: a list. We'll just go one for one and see
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: how many you relate to. And also, if you're in
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: our private forum and there's some that you have, let
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: us know because I feel like we could learn more
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: that be like, oh true, that doesn't really matter. Yeah,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: so posted the forum as well. If you're not a
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: member there, you can just literally go to Facebook type
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: and grow and glow and we accept everyone in there.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: So join us.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, come join us, such a beautiful space. All right,
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: what's your first one?
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Actually my first one? And so many mums are probably
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh my god, who cares? But I
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: love dressing my kids. Taj doesn't really care what I
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: dress him in or actually lately he's more so wanting
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: to wear everything dragons because he goes to the dragon.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: But he's literally allowed me to dress him like up
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: until now, and I like my nice clothesman. Even it
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: was just like a black shirt and denim shorts and
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: a cute hat with matching shoes, Like I just like
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: him to look matching and cute. Tarlte girls are just
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the funnest to dress, so much fun. But she's already like,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: don't want to wear that, like this my mummy, this shoes. Yeah,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, doesn't go like I to put
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: the pink bow in here, and she's like orange bow,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: like no hair. And now I'm just like, oh, whatever,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: live your life. You want to choose your clothes. Choose
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: your clothes.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: You know. It's like the odd colorful socks and stuff
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: like that. For me, it's so funny.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Has a different people always putting out on social media too.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: He'll wear odd shoes.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: That's any trending thing, isn't it.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. He just likes to do it.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I thought I've seen someone like trendy doing that.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Oh there you go. He's done it for years and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: it still annoys me. But it's like it's not worth
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: the battle. Alpose, you're gettingto an argument with an eight
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: year old about wearing matching shoes, Like, who fucking cares? Like,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: You've got more important things to worry about. So that's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: my first one. Just letting go of what they want
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: to wear and just let them be comfy whatever.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: That's so funny. So mine's kind of similar to yours.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: I got a lot of pushback for this online. Letting
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: my kids just wear their pajamas. I get people message
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: all the time. In winter, we'll go out for a
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: walk and like we'll go down the beach and that,
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: and I even go down to my pajama sometimes and
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: they go down to their jummis and people are like,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: I can't believe you let them leave the house of
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: their pajamas on. Not worth a battle. It's cold outside.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Their pajamas are so nice and warm and cozy. Matter
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: of fact, like if Reagan she's having it at home day,
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: her favorite thing ever, Like she goes to me all
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: day it's a time for my jummis. Yet it's a
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: time for my Jami's. Yeah, like loves her jarmis. She'll
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: get up some mornings out of bed, take her pajamas
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: off and then put another set of pajamas on, and yeah,
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: not worth the battle. I'm like, she's so happy, she's
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: so comfy.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what's the matter? I think people forget how close
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: you lived to the beach too, Like for a lot
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: of people to go to the beach, it's an actual event,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: like getting your bag ready, getting all the towers, packing
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: into the car, getting the kids in the car, like,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: whereas few guys, it's just you walk down there. Yeah,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: you forget that's very close. It's part of your life.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: That's like, what do we do. Let's go to the beach.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: But even like when we go to cooling out of beach,
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: drive the car, still taking.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Down the pajama especially if.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: It's early Yeah, I think if it's early morning and
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: their comfy linky though, he's so funny. The girls love
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: being in the pjs all day. He's the first thing
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: that can I get changed. Really hates having his pajamas
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: on and like doesn't like anyone seeing them with his
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: jarm he's on. He's so funny, he's so cute.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: My next one I find very challenging, but I fully
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: have let go, and I think I pushed it too
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: much with taj Is forcing them to eat a meal,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: and not that I've literally physically forced, but we would
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: really heavily encourage charge to eat more because he just
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: hasn't been that interested in food. He's not a massive foodie.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I was not growing up either. I was happy if
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: you gave me orange juice, like I wouldn't even notice
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: for I didn't eat. I just was not interested until
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I got to like older. Now you never stopped seeing
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: me eating. I'm eating twenty four seven. But yeah, I
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: think I just put a lot of pressure on him
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: getting enough nutrients and making sure he was eating enough.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: And he's very very tall, and he's very very lean,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: which people are also awful online about. It's quite a
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: lot more now that he's older and like more active.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: But with Tala, she's going through a stage where she's
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: a great eater, but all of a sudden, she doesn't
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: want to eat a proper meal. She's more like a grazer.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: So I'm trying to hold back from the snacks, but
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: like even the dinner, she'll pick a little bit and
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: then run around. And I was trying to get her
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: to like sit on the chair and sit as a family,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: and Steve wants her to do it as well, because
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: it's like a nice time to catch up. But I
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: just look at him. I'm like, cheese, you batter, babe,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: It's not worth it. She's hungry, she will eat. If
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: he is hungry, he will eat. Sometimes we're not hungry.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: And later on if they're like, oh, I want to
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: snack her an ice pole, it's like, no, good dinner
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: is still on the table. You're hungry, you can eat that,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: but it's not worth the battle of us getting upset
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: them having a negative experience around the dinner table, around food,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: around their family, like I don't want that.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: And the dinner table thing will come back with each
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: of our kids have all gone around that age where
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: they've disappeared and we haven't had us all at the
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: dinner table because we love it too. It comes back, yeah, yeah,
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: the phases of eating well, yeah, I feel like so
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: many mums have said they were great eaters up until
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: two and the same thing.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Now she's turned too. She's like, it's a big roll
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: of past us and shouldn't avow the whole thing, like
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: we roll a rice. She's a carb gal. So I'm like,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: it's just not worth it. No, it's not. And I
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: know there's a lot of other mums who will relate
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: to this and feel this because you just want them
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: to be healthy and have the nutrients and to be full.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: We get so worried. But kids are the best intuitive eaters.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Really, we as adults are not great. We've been taught
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: to eat everything on your plate, don't waste it. Like
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: my Stepdag used to say to me, you know the
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: children in Africa are starving. That would kill for your food,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Like make me feel so bad for not eating, and
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I would force it down and like even if I
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: felt sick. We are not good at intuitive eaters. We
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: don't want to waste food. We overeat. It's so easily accessible.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: You watch kids. They will stop when they're full. Yeah,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: they will let you know. They're crying, screaming, begging, snatching.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: They will tell you that they're hungry. We need to
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: trust them more.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and our kids, like depending what we're doing, if
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: we're really active, they eat so much food and then
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: other days with that slow they barely eat. But you
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: just got to know it comes in waves.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Hey. Yeah, it's just not worth the battle of trying
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: to force something.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, So my next one is one about hubby. So
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: if he is off, rather than questioning him straight away,
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: just giving him time.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Love that.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: So when he's off, instead of being like, babe, why
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: are you stappy? What's going on? And asking, I just
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: bite my tongue and I go not with the battle,
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: because then half the time what happens is an hour
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: or so later he cools off. He's just in like
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: a crappy mood, as we all do. Yeah, and he
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: turns around, he's like, I'm sorry about this morning. Yeah,
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: but if I question it, it makes him more agitated.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: So choosing my battles off when he's off, just letting
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: him have his mood and not trying to like pull
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: him higher, just let him have it, yeah, and just
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: accepting that that's the little mood that he's in at
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: the moment, and yeah, I made the mistake too. Similar
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll try and like make it about me?
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: What have I done? Why you upset? Like are you
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: angry at me? He's like, this isn't about you. I'm
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: just like stretched at work and I need to compress
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: for the day. So now I'm the same, I'm like,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: read the room. Okay. Maybe he just needs a bit
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: more space, or he's touched out, or he's got million
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: things in his mind. Just give them a bit of time. Yeah,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: like men need that. Yeah, I love that. My next
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: one at the moment which someone's going to be like,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: that's disgusting. When I was telling you, like Kurt would
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: not allow this. But it's just like the bath time.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: She doesn't want to have a bath every night. I'm like,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: choose your battles. She's not filthy, muddy. She's like we
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: can wipe down her face in her hands whatever. She
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: is like crying, she doesn't want to get in the
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: bath or shower. Cool, you can skip it. It's not
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: worth the battle anymore. With Papa jams On, we go
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: on the lounge, we get extra time with the lounge
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: into play and hangs the family. Yeah. Yeah, so that's
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: just not worth it.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I feel like I'm more leaning your way.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: But then to Kurt, it's really important because he's like,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: I feel like I have such a good night's sleep
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: when I'm clean. It's like his story. So I'm like, okay,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: then you look after bath them. Yeah, but he's really
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: adamant about it. But there's been a couple of times
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: where I've been able to twist his arms. I was
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: like a change his sheets in the morning, I don't.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Want to change it. Warning. So for him it is
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: worth the battle of his kids getting upset to make
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: sure they're clean.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: He'll come up with a different strategy. So he'll go, Okay,
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: you don't want a bath, you in a shower, or
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: you don't come upstairs dad, you.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Have a shower with you won't have any of it.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Kurt will try like five even things like I'll
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: put a bath and I'll do this. He won't be like, no,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: too bad, you're getting in. He won't like force obviously
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: them in. So this next one is so funny, but
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Kurt is hilarious with crumbs on the floors. This is
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: a hubby one again. I've kind of tried to go
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: one for age. Ye. He will vacuum fifty million times
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: a day and I used to be like, babe, just
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: leave it, just leave it. And now I'm like Chushie
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: battles if it makes him happy, yeah, just let him
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: more relaxed, let him go. But it's like it's literally
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: the kids will eat and he will not let it
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: because he's like then they travel it through the house.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: So he's just out with the vacuum.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: But the dice and it is kind of easy to
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: get it done. Yeah.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I would even just wait till like all
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: the kids are finished eating.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he is like doing it like three times.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, So yeah, I used to be like babe because
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: it used to I think it's the noise in that
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: I used to get frustrated, like just leave it, Babe,
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: to leave it. Now, I'm like, you know what, let
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: him go. They let him go makes him happy.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: This is a hobby and the kid one. But how
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Steve makes Taj's lunch compared to how I make Taj's lunch,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like very particular on his lunch. I like to
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: have lots of variety, lots of nutrients, like a little
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: treat in there. It's very well balanced. There's healthy fats,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: there's a bit of protein, there's calves, like there's everything
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: that he needs. I feel to have a well nourished day.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Whereas when I was in Bali, Taj was like mom,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Dad made a lunchbox and it was just two sandwiches
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: and two Milo bars and an apple, and like the
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: rule is you have one Milo barba day.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was like, oh, I was.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Like not worth the battle. Don't need to bring it up.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Like just let him do things how he wants to
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: do it. He's fed, he's okay, he survived, It's all good.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: But something like that at home, like I'm very particular
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: about but it's just not worth the battle making Steve
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: feel shit when he's just trying to help him doing
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: the best he can.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, when you're not there, and maybe he.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Doesn't think it's like as important as what I do.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: And that's also okay. Mine isn't right or wrong, and
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: neither is his way. Yeah, it's just how he.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Does it, isn't it crazy? All of our values? Hey,
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: it comes back to everything, like at those core values.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Which health is like so high for me and Steve's
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: a bit more chill.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, okay, So this is something that really like pet
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: peeves me so badly when the kids finish eating and
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: I'm with them, similar to like you with Steve, with
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: like the hairty staying in and stuff like that with Tala.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: So he will never clean Reagan's face, So Reagan to
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: walk around the whole day with Veggie might smearth all
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: down her cheeks, spaghetti, bolonnaise all over her chin, all
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: over her face. He doesn't clean it. So now rather
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: than saying a comment after she finishes eating. Just as
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: soon as I see her, I'm like, okay, I'll just
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: clean her face now, I'll just do it now. Yeah,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: because it annoys me, it doesn't annoy him. Yes, yeah,
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: it's just not worth a battle.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: No, No, I love that what style my kids want
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: their hair like. Taj is at the moment wanting to
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: grow it out and not super long, not a mullet,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: but he wants it longer. But it's like always in
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: his eyes. So I'm trying to like encourage him to
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: cut it, but he's like, no, I want to grow
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: it out. I want to be ab to put it
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: behind my ear, and that's just what he wants to do.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: But it just looks so messy and annoying in his eyes.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: It annoys me. But I'm just like, at the end
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: of the day, that's not worth getting another battle about.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I've tried, it hasn't worked. He's very certain with what
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: he wants to do. I want him to be his
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: own person, to have his own style. Just leave it.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: And same with her. Sometimes she's like no hair, no
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: hairs in her eyes and it's just like.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: But no hair.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Thing.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: With Reagan, we went through that as well, and you
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: can see it in their face and you think it's annoying.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So annoying. Some days I'm just like, nah, it's not
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: worth it. No, with your life. Yeah, have hair in
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: your eyes and you deal with it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Definitely. I think too, because Reggie had her helmet on
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: for so long, I felt bad doing her hair. When
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: she just wanted it out, I was like, sweet, babe,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: more comfy, you have it out. Something that I am
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: happy to do now is just like feed the kids
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: messy foods if it's healthy. I feel like certain foods
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: like even rice and stuff like that, which your kids love.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Like we kind of used to be like, oh like
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: are we just on the floors or things like that,
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: And now especially Kurt, and now we're both just like
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: surrendered and we're like, if it's healthy food and it's
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: messy and it goes everywhere, who cares? Just yeah, so yeah,
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: messy foods.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Rice.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Honestly, you find it full days, I swear, especially you
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: know the sous she risks with the sticky rice stick Yeah,
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: but so good to see the meeting nice and then it's.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Just eating in general. Yeah, eating the dinner. Yeah, I
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: love it. This is one that I did with Taj
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: really really badly, and I don't do I learned my
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: lesson is like criticizing Steve on how long it takes
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: him to change and nappy is so much longer than
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: what I am. It's just like and it's done. I'm
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: like a wizard at it, but for him, it just
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: takes them so much longer, and like he'll pull it
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: up too much at the front or too much at
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: the back, or like he'll do it and then like
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: half of butt cheeks hanging out, and like I used
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: to criticize them with Tage and get frustrated, was now
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: like I try and make it play for so he
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel like he's done a bad job. And also
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: just think the more that you criticize them, the less
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: they actually want to help and do it. They'll just think,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: will you do it better anyway? And I don't want
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: to get in trouble, so like why would I bother? Yeah,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: And I made that mistake with Tag he would just
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: like pull back and don't want to help because he's
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: like you always tell me I'm doing it wrong, Whereas
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: now I'm like, it's not worth it. Half a butt
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: cheeks hanging out, Like he'll notice and have a laugh
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: about it, and then one of us will pull it over.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: But it's just not worth a battle. It's not worth
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: making him feel about it when he's just done the
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: best he can. Yeah, it's not as good at it
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: than what I am, But that's who cares.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Whoever it bothers, they can just fix it. That's kind
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: of what we do. Like whoever it bothers can just
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: fix it rather geting annoyed the other person's like okay, definitely,
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Like I'm particularly about the mouth being cleaned. It's like,
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: I'll just clean the mouth.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: On reflection, like why does annoy me that it takes
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: them way long to the nappy? Like who cares? Yeah,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I guess it takes some ten minutes. It doesn't make
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: it that long. Who cares if it takes off?
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Like when a man goes to the toilet.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: That's another whole thing.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: Ah this one, Oh okay, I've gotten a lot better
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: at this, But this is similar to you with Steve.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: I used to get so irked by this. How slow
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Kurt's reaction time used to like these to their kids.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: So if a kid is scat, if a kid is
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: screaming at the top of their lungs and I'm in
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: the shower. I used to like run downstairs with my
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: towel on like whatever, like what's going on, what's going on?
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, I'm getting there, like and
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: I would be like, babe. But when they're screaming, like
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: I used to fully get annoyed at for this. Now
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: I hear the screams and I'm like, this is mymi time.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: He's under control, he's watching the kids like he's with
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: them alone all the time. He's got this. It's all good.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: But I used to actually like physically run down it
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: because the kids worse because he.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Ever say, babe, I've got this, Like give me a moment.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Steve does that too. Now it's like learning
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: to just trust that they do have it. It's just
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: done differently to us.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: That's it. And now I don't even show up then.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: But initially, especially I feel like each kid has gotten
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: way more relax but especially with Miller, and I would
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: be like really triggered and frustrated if he wasn't by
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: a side in an instant, if she was like distraught.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: It does get better each kid, you get way more relaxed.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: You do.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I was terrible at yeah, because I think you just
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: you don't even have that much confidence, like you're trying
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: to do the best job you can. You feel like
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: you have to jump since they make a noise. He's
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: and it's like, he says, I jump a lot quicker,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: but he's like, if I can see, they're okay. And
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: sometimes I think it's good for them to like sort
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: it out themselves or way, rather than you're going to
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: fix it straight away. It's like let them, you know,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: deal with it. It's like I'm observing, I'm making sure
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: that they're safe, but I don't jump to them like
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: you do. Yeah.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: And I feel like Kurt's also really good at understanding
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: their cries these days, like better than I am. I
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: feel like, as soon as I hear a cry, I'm
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: just like there. But I feel like before he jumps
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: and runs, he's like, what type of cry is that?
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Like he's still, he pauses, listens, waits, and then he
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: goes all right or they don't need me, they're fine.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Whereas I'm like, as soon as I hear a little bit, I'm.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Like there, yeah.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I feel like he's got really good.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: You can hear. If it's an emergency, you.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Can tell by the time you get down them on
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: the stairs full.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Cry, or if it'thing like that, like the crocodile, Yeah,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh. Screen time Steve is a lot more
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: relaxed than what I am. I don't give my kids
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: a lot of screen time. I have very firm boundaries
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: with Taj. Tyler does not have an iPad. If I
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: watch anything with her, it's like very little amount. If
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I'm absolutely like cooked, or we're watching something as a
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: family together, like and we'll put like animals on the
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: TV and she's learning about the animals. But I'm very
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: strict on it whease if he gets home from work
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: before I do, or like if I'm away, there's definitely
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: a lot more screen time. And it used to really
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: upset me, and I was like, oh, kids don't need
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: this much screen It's bad for the concentration levels, blah
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: blah blah, which is all true. However, I'm like, choose
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: your battles, it's not worth it. If that's how he
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: wants a parent, and you're not doing anything wrong. Maybe
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: he's so stretched and tired from work, doesn't have the
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: capacity to be entertaining them with out the trampoline for
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: three hours. Let it go. Yeah, sometimes I'll still make
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: little comments, but I really tried to hold back from that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Now yeah, yeah, it's just not worth it, not worth
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: a battle.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: No oh wearing dress ups and kids wearing dress ups
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: everywhere we go. I feel like I went through a
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: phase where they were literally wearing dress ups all the time,
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: and I wanted them to wear their normal clothes as well,
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: or as well if their dress ups are like really
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: cold and it's cold outside. And now I'm like, you
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: know what, I watched this psychologist lady on Instagram and
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: she was like, let them be cold. Yeah, you say
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: to them they need to jumper, they say I don't
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: need one. Go Okay, next time when you say it's
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: cold outside, do you want to jump up? They'll probably
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: say yeah, do you. So I've kind of, yeah, really
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: leaned into that as well of just being like just
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: letting them kind of do their own thing. And the
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: dress ups make everyone's so happy. Whenever we go places,
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: people are just like, oh my gosh. But yeah, it's
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: a lot sometimes when we walk around like three of these.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Like dress my kids don't dress up a lot, but
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I've seen some that are like really puffy and that's
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: hard to put the seatbelts.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: G and like and about the dress, yes, that's exactly
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: what they do. So reading almost like the big beautiful
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: prince and she's like it's itchy, it's itchy, and I'm like,
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh. But luckily now I just know I
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: have spare clothes, yes, but prepare. I'm prepared, but not
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: with a battle before we leave to change it. Even
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: though I know that dress has gone itchy, I'm like,
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: just let her do her thing, yeah, just like when
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: it pops up.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I think just with cleaning up things in general. And
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I think we've got a good system now. But sometimes
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I used to get like quite irked if their kitchen
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: wasn't done before bed, and Steep be like, oh, I
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: just can't evolve it tonight, like just pt the kids
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: in bed, like I just want to relax, And then
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I would get annoyed because I want it done. But
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: sometimes like it's just not worth the battle, Like once again,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: if it's really important to me, I'll just get it done.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: But I feel like we've got a good system now.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: When I wrote this, I feel like we've got a
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: good system now that I'll ow to take the kids
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: for the bath and he'll do the kitchen, or if
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: the kids aren't having a bath, we both attack it
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: together and it's done twice as fast. Yeah. So we've
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: got our systems at work. But sometimes, like I feel
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: like a lot of mums get really caught up in
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: the washing, the cleaning whatever at the end of the day, Like,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: is it worth a battle if you are just so tired,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: or you wanting to connect with your partner, or you
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: want to connect with your kids, Like what's more important? Yeah, Like,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: it's probably more important if you just spend quality time
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: with your loved ones and making sure that lasts a
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: lot of dishes is done and the battle, Yeah, it's
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: not going anywhere. For the time with your kids and
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: your husband, it's way more important. Yeah. So just like,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: not worth a battle with your partner, not worth a
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: battle with yourself. Yeah. Yeah.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: So this next one for us is we initially thought
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: that we would not let our kids wear shoes in
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: the house. Yeah, shoes every day, all day in the house. Yeah,
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: so we're just like not much. So both with Curt
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: and I surrendered to that one pretty quickly. We were like, yeah,
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: when we first moved in, everyone had like shoes off. Yeah,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: it feels like a new house thing. Maybe yeah, no,
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: just whatever, you are aware. Yeah, and even when people
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: come over, we're like, yeah, let keep your shoes on.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, some people are funny about that. If it's
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: got nice carpets, it is a new house. They've just
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: vacuum dispose.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not about all we choose.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I take my shoes off when I go to other
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: me too, but not my own me too. Whatever. And
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: the last one is once again Steve and kids. A
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: lot of this is about parenting for me. But whenever
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I go away, Steve will definitely have like a takeaway night,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Whereas when I'm at home, I do most of the
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: cooking now and I love nourishing my family and making
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: sure they're getting all the nutrients they need. We don't
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: order to take away a lot when I'm there, but
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: when I go away, he definitely does. Like last night,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: they would have pizza night.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: It's so cute. It massive.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: It does the same. Whenever we can't here, they always
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: get take away.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like Tuti battles.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, convenient for them.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: It's fine. Like growing up too, it's like, oh, I remember,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: like the dad we always got pizza.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: And they know it's routine. They like our co kids
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: know now they're like my mom's nottrius and that means
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: that way gonna yeah like a cheeky night.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: That's the nice time with their dad. It is. It
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: is like they could be really bonding around food. Yeah, beautiful,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: So I've just let that go. That's I used to
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: be like, babe, like you know, they don't need another pizza.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: They need nutrients. Yeah, even at home, Like if I
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: was to order pizza Fotage and I'm there, I would entrees, vegetables.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: It would all have vegetables before we get the pizza. Yeah,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: so like I know they're getting the nutrients because I
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: don't want to get sick. I want them to be
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: healthy and like it is important to me. They still
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: get to enjoy the pizza as well. That was my
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: rule with pregnancy. If I was craving something, my rule
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: was like I would have something healthy first and nutrient rich,
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: then I would have what I wanted. Yeah. So I
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: always made sure that myself, my baby, and my health
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: was looked after because I wanted my baby to get
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: all the nutrients that they needed as well, but I
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: still wasn't depriving myself of what I wanted. If I
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: just ate shit, the whole pregnancy are like, and I
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: would just feel shit that I've given my baby of
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: that crap, and my body wouldn't be thriving. It's always
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: made sure I had something healthy, whether it's a green juice,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: a green smoothie, a bowl of steamed broccoli, like, just
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: something health related. Then I would go have my hot chips,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: then I would have my block chocolate.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I just felt better doing that.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you do feel crappy as well.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: You already feel cppy when you're pregnant.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I already feel crappy. Yeah yeah, and your baby needs
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: so much to thrive. Yeah, it's nutrients.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: So my last one is Reagan not napping. I see though, Babe,
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: she's dropped it out for like over a year.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so she was like.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: One and a half when she stopped napping. Two. She
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: was young, so every kid had slowly gotten earlier and earlier.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: So Miller literally napped until she started school. So Yeahlinky
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: stopped napping I think around four. Reagan I can't even
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: remember her. It's been years since she has not napped.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: And she's happy, happy.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: She's happy, she's fine. I think she still had them
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: odd occasion, yeah, okay, but she wasn't regular. Yeah, she
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: was has not regularly napped for a very, very long time.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: And that's just to choose your battle.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: She's fine, easier though with other two kids, if like
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: they're all and you can be out in the middle
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: of the day.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: Not Monday to Friday when she's at home and you're
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: trying to work. But yes, on the weekend, it's great.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: On the weekend, it's really good. But yeah, that's just
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: been a battle with her. She's just definitely got more
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: energy and even during the night, like she can stay
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: up super late rigs like the other two we'll just
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: put themselves to bed and be like I've had enough,
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: I'm going to sleep. Like, Yeah, she just likes to
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: be in the party and amongst it with everyone else,
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: and yeah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Just don't need it as much.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Maybe I just remember though, like their first days when
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: she first started dropping it, just trying to force it,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: sitting in there, patting her back, shushing her. Try this,
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: try again in an hour. If she's not napping, I'll
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: just I'll give her another bottle and I'll go seit
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: with her and try again. You revolve your whole day
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: around this nap, And I feel like it just took
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: so much pressure off because it was just like, okay, yeah,
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: whatever happens, it happens, as long as it's happy.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like I would push through for that too.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: If they were going to be upset in the evening. Yeah,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: when they get overtired, yeah, that's why I would be
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: trying to push the nap. But if they're happy, then yeah,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: she'll sweat.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: She's fine, like happy, and that's so good.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, most kids will get really overtired. That's awesome.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't know only one that got really overtired.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: She's always needed like that little bit more sleep. Still
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: to this day, she loves her sleep. But I feel
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: like both Lincoln he was fine as well. It never
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: really affected his mood too much.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. Your tag gets overtired. Yeah, I haven't tried
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: her not napping yet. She still has a day now.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: She's too.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Milk it for as long as you.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Get Yeah, that's a mind done.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah me too.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Well, I hope you guys had a good little gig,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: good little laugh. Sure someone relatable.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: I'm sure some of you guys can relate to. I'm like,
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I used to not like that too,
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: and now I'm like, whatever.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: It's funny as you grow too. The things she used
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: to get soa caled up and.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: It's like, and it's just how you grew up. A
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: lot of these things are like because I was told
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: growing up that it should be done a specific way.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: I felt like it should have been and then I
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: look at it and I'm like.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Does that actually matters? So true, You've always done things.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: It's just what you're used to. Something is uncomfortable doing
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: something different, or someone's put a strong opinion. It's like,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: actually it doesn't bother me. Okay, that bothers you, but
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: to me, they're not with the battle, not only you
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: choose your battle. We'll see you on Friday for a
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: little bite sized episode. Yeah, see that, guys. We'll see
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: you next week too. Bye bye,