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212. Trust issues & Jealousy that Stings: How Do I Love Again After Being Cheated on? · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apoche production.
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Speaker 2: I need your advice.
0:12
Speaker 1: Are you okay? What happened?
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Speaker 2: Promise it won't be too much.
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Speaker 1: Bring it in.
0:18
Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment.
0:25
Speaker 1: This is the.
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Speaker 2: Place for you.
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Speaker 3: Welcome back to another episode of She Rises, but our
0:29
Speaker 3: bestie segment. This is where we give you advice, the
0:32
Speaker 3: same advice that we would give each other if we
0:34
Speaker 3: were both going through that situation.
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Speaker 2: So, ashy, what have we got for today?
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Speaker 4: All right? Today's title is trust Issues and Jealousy that stings?
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Speaker 4: How do I love again after being cheated? And this
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Speaker 4: is the submission? So just reminded these all completely anonymous.
0:47
Speaker 4: We have no idea who's written this in. And if
0:49
Speaker 4: you want to write in your sticky situation or if you
0:51
Speaker 4: would like some best of advice, the link is in
0:53
Speaker 4: our description.
0:53
Speaker 3: Note.
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Speaker 4: Give us much context as you can. It helps us
0:56
Speaker 4: give better advice. Like if we were going to each other.
0:58
Speaker 4: We don't leave anything out.
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Speaker 2: No, no, no, so don't leave any details. We don't leave
1:01
Speaker 2: any details out.
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Speaker 4: Okay, hi Ashi in tianam to get some besty advice
1:06
Speaker 4: from you both. I know you've touched on a relationship
1:08
Speaker 4: jealousy on a couple of the episodes, on the podcast,
1:10
Speaker 4: but I was hoping you can both go a little
1:12
Speaker 4: bit deeper and maybe share some of your experiences with
1:14
Speaker 4: jealousy in romantic relationships. I know Tianna has mentioned that
1:17
Speaker 4: she has struggled with it in her past relationships, so
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Speaker 4: I'd love to hear more details if you're both willing
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Speaker 4: to share. I'm really struggling with jealousy feelings. Long story short,
1:25
Speaker 4: I've been cheated on in the past. I was engaged,
1:28
Speaker 4: and now my ex cheated with the girl from his work.
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Speaker 4: The whole thing absolutely destroyed me. It's been three years
1:34
Speaker 4: now and I have a new partner, and unfortunately, I
1:36
Speaker 4: still struggle with the fear of being betrayed again. I
1:39
Speaker 4: worry constantly. I get so anxious when my partner goes
1:42
Speaker 4: to work and I can't help but ask him about
1:44
Speaker 4: his interactions with other girls that day. He does work
1:47
Speaker 4: with mostly females. As you can imagine, this consumes me
1:50
Speaker 4: most days. He hasn't given me any reason to not
1:52
Speaker 4: trust him. He's very chatty and friendly to everyone, but
1:56
Speaker 4: that's just him and he loves a chat But he's
1:58
Speaker 4: never been inappropriate or made any sexual comments towards women.
2:01
Speaker 4: He's loyal from what I see, but I still have
2:03
Speaker 4: that lingering fear of what if. I know it's super
2:06
Speaker 4: unhealthy and sounds crazy. It clearly is, and I'm really
2:09
Speaker 4: trying to change my mindset, but it's so difficult not
2:12
Speaker 4: to get worried or jealous all the time. I've also
2:14
Speaker 4: lost trust in women, and I feel some women literally
2:17
Speaker 4: enjoy trying to break relationships. I'm all about girl code
2:20
Speaker 4: and wouldn't ever dream about doing that to another woman.
2:22
Speaker 4: I'm sorry for such a long message. I honestly talk
2:24
Speaker 4: about this to ages when it comes to the stuff.
2:26
Speaker 4: And one thing I must add is that I discovered
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Speaker 4: the Shear Risers podcast about four months ago. I'm self
2:31
Speaker 4: employed and I listen to you both almost every day
2:33
Speaker 4: and must literally changed my life. I don't really have
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Speaker 4: many girl connections, at least not on the level you
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Speaker 4: guys have, and it's been so amazing. I actually feel
2:41
Speaker 4: like I'm getting the girl talk that I've always missed
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Speaker 4: out on. I'm truly thankful to you both for being
2:45
Speaker 4: so real and creating the space for all of us
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Speaker 4: women who needed this. So thank you, Ashley Tiana. I
2:49
Speaker 4: hope to hear more about jealousy in a future episode
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Speaker 4: on a deeper level, and of course always love when
2:54
Speaker 4: you both share your own personal experiences.
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Speaker 2: Thank you, oh stuff that we love you.
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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, such beautiful words to end the submission.
3:01
Speaker 2: So beautiful.
3:02
Speaker 3: It's so beautiful to hear that, and just yeah, thank
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Speaker 3: you for sharing one about the jealousy that's come up
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Speaker 3: for you and also that you feel like you get
3:09
Speaker 3: to come in and join in the girl friend with us.
3:10
Speaker 2: Because that's what we wanted this to be.
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Speaker 4: Anyone understands jealousy is speaking of is in the house?
3:18
Speaker 4: Oh guys, when she hopped in.
3:19
Speaker 2: The car, are less feelings.
3:21
Speaker 4: Basically, I feel the fire for the moment, steaming literally
3:26
Speaker 4: you could see it visually coming off my body, the.
3:28
Speaker 1: Whole right up here.
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Speaker 4: I was like, Tatiana is present, and I love it
3:31
Speaker 4: because I only get to see her once a month.
3:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, three weeks out of the Marna.
3:34
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm not there, yeah, Tian Tiana, But oh,
3:39
Speaker 3: I just can relate to what you're going through.
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Speaker 2: I remember, firstly, I feel you on this.
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Speaker 3: It is so hard, especially when like your partner does
3:47
Speaker 3: work predominantly with a lot of women.
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Speaker 2: It's so hard.
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Speaker 3: It's so easy to be triggered, Like, especially when you
3:52
Speaker 3: already have that betrayal wound, you really do kind of
3:57
Speaker 3: like see everybody else through that betrayal threat. That's a
4:00
Speaker 3: threat hundred percent. And so I'll share an experience and
4:03
Speaker 3: then I'll share something that really really helped me. So
4:05
Speaker 3: when I was with my ex partner, there were a
4:07
Speaker 3: lot of reasons why I felt this level of jealousy,
4:09
Speaker 3: but it really came up in a really intense way.
4:12
Speaker 3: So for me, he also worked with a lot of females,
4:16
Speaker 3: but for me, it was like every little thing that
4:19
Speaker 3: he would do that was interacting with a woman who
4:21
Speaker 3: I thought was more successful than me or beautiful or whatever,
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Speaker 3: it was like I immediately had that trigger that he
4:26
Speaker 3: was going to do something.
4:27
Speaker 2: And so in the back of my head.
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Speaker 3: At all times, I thought that he was doing the
4:32
Speaker 3: wrong thing by me. And I previously have been cheated
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Speaker 3: on from my first relationship. So we were together for
4:37
Speaker 3: three years and I had found out after we'd broken
4:40
Speaker 3: up that the whole relationship he slept with like the
4:41
Speaker 3: whole of Wongong.
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Speaker 2: So it was just one of those things.
4:44
Speaker 3: And then also the betrayal wound of him releasing the
4:46
Speaker 3: video also contributed to my trust issues, So I just
4:50
Speaker 3: I can resonate with what you're going through. But I
4:52
Speaker 3: think the biggest thing that helped me was innocent toil
4:55
Speaker 3: proven guilty, and something like a piece of advice that
4:58
Speaker 3: I once got given was why would you want to
5:00
Speaker 3: spend your whole relationship warrying that somebody was going to
5:03
Speaker 3: do wrong by you, that you're no longer enjoying the relationship? Yes,
5:07
Speaker 3: And it just really stuck with me because it was
5:10
Speaker 3: like I was never giving this person the benefit of
5:12
Speaker 3: the doubt and hearing the worst, always assuming the worst,
5:16
Speaker 3: and it was like I was creating problems in the
5:18
Speaker 3: relationship dynamic because I was living in my head and
5:21
Speaker 3: not living in the relationship in the past. And granted,
5:25
Speaker 3: while this person that I was with, their behavior contributed
5:29
Speaker 3: to my lack of trust issues. There were little bits
5:31
Speaker 3: and moments that he created that made me feel like
5:34
Speaker 3: he wasn't all in on the relationship, which made me
5:36
Speaker 3: assume that he was going outside of the dynamic. But
5:39
Speaker 3: at the end of day, it was my stuff to
5:41
Speaker 3: work on. It was my jealousy, my territorialness, my fear
5:45
Speaker 3: of being second best, and my fear of not being
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Speaker 3: good enough to be chosen as number one. So I
5:52
Speaker 3: think the biggest thing in this is like jealousy reveals
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Speaker 3: to you where you are still unhealed, and like where parts.
5:58
Speaker 2: Of you still don't feel good enough.
6:00
Speaker 3: So yeah, I just think, like, be patient with yourself
6:04
Speaker 3: on this, allow the jealousy and allow the triggers to
6:07
Speaker 3: come up. But when it comes to an intimate relationship,
6:10
Speaker 3: it is revealing all of your deepest, darkest words. It's
6:12
Speaker 3: revealing your trust issues, it's revealing where you don't feel
6:15
Speaker 3: good enough. It's revealing you know, where you feel like
6:18
Speaker 3: someone better might come around and snatch a man out,
6:20
Speaker 3: Like all of those fears like are really so deep rooted,
6:22
Speaker 3: but we project onto the person in front of us
6:25
Speaker 3: as if they are the problem, not realizing that what
6:27
Speaker 3: we're experiencing is actually happening within our head. And so
6:31
Speaker 3: again coming back to that point of innocent until proven guilty,
6:35
Speaker 3: because then you're assuming the best until they give you
6:39
Speaker 3: evidence of otherwise, and then that way you can actually
6:42
Speaker 3: enjoy yourself in the relationship and learn to self soothe.
6:45
Speaker 3: I'm rambling now, but one other thing that was really
6:47
Speaker 3: really helpful for me and I do it not only
6:49
Speaker 3: in intimate relationships, but also in friendships. Is to bring
6:52
Speaker 3: in jealousy in a really playful way. Like if you
6:54
Speaker 3: feel like you need to communicate with your partner, Hey,
6:56
Speaker 3: like I was feeling a little jealous, bring it in
6:58
Speaker 3: with playfulness.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, like they don't feel attacked and criticized.
7:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, hey, just letting you know, like I'm feeling super
7:03
Speaker 3: territorial about you because I and you're my man, and
7:06
Speaker 3: like everyone back up.
7:07
Speaker 2: But this came up for me. And I'm not telling
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Speaker 2: you this to change anything. You didn't do anything wrong.
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Speaker 2: You didn't do anything wrong.
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Speaker 3: I'm just sharing this with you to be super transparent
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Speaker 3: and just like you know, I had a human moment.
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Speaker 4: Yes, that's beautiful, and I can talk about being on
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Speaker 4: the other end, I've never been cheated on that I
7:22
Speaker 4: know of. But I've never been cheated on, so I
7:24
Speaker 4: don't have that wound. Particularly. I definitely have been jealous,
7:27
Speaker 4: for sure, just from my own insecurities, not feeling enough,
7:29
Speaker 4: not feeling beautiful of things. But Steve had been cheated
7:32
Speaker 4: on by most of his past relationships. So when I
7:34
Speaker 4: first got with him, oh, it was a lot. He
7:37
Speaker 4: actually when we were about three months in, he actually
7:40
Speaker 4: pulled me aside because he had caused this argument because
7:42
Speaker 4: I was a promo girl, so pretty hard job for
7:45
Speaker 4: a jealous man to have a partner doing. I was
7:47
Speaker 4: surrounded by men who were drunk in nightclubs. Not a
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Speaker 4: great time for jealous friend.
7:53
Speaker 3: No.
7:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, he said to me, like, I think you should
7:56
Speaker 4: leave because I am so jealous and I'm causing all
7:59
Speaker 4: these fights and I wouldn't blame me, like I wouldn't
8:00
Speaker 4: want to be with me.
8:01
Speaker 1: Well, and I was like, what do you mean.
8:03
Speaker 4: He's like, I want to save you years of me
8:06
Speaker 4: causing this arguments. I feel like I can't control it.
8:08
Speaker 4: And I'm just so scared that you're want to cheat
8:10
Speaker 4: because everyone else is cheated, and I remember just it
8:12
Speaker 4: made me so determined to show him that not all
8:15
Speaker 4: women are going to be like that, and I'm as
8:17
Speaker 4: loyal as they come. And if I was not happy,
8:18
Speaker 4: I would leave before I do that. But it wasn't
8:21
Speaker 4: that easy. It was years and years of jealousy, years
8:24
Speaker 4: and years of it, and it was really hard because
8:26
Speaker 4: I felt like I was getting punished for something else
8:28
Speaker 4: his exes had done.
8:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense, And I was like.
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Speaker 4: This isn't fair. All I've shown you is loyalty and honesty.
8:34
Speaker 4: And I over communicate and I don't put myself in
8:37
Speaker 4: situations apart from my work. But I am very strong
8:41
Speaker 4: my boundaries. Like men don't get to come near me
8:43
Speaker 4: and even try to do anything, and I just not
8:45
Speaker 4: who I am. So I remember being very frustrating. And
8:49
Speaker 4: you're right, it can destroy the relationships like a thousand
8:53
Speaker 4: tiny cuts. Oh, death by a thousand cuts.
8:55
Speaker 1: Death by a thousand cuts.
8:56
Speaker 4: You're not only I know it's not this easy, but
8:58
Speaker 4: like you said, you're not only going to not enjoy
9:00
Speaker 4: your relationship. Your partner's not going to enjoy it because
9:02
Speaker 4: they always feel like they're just getting in trouble for
9:04
Speaker 4: something they haven't done. Yeah, And over time, it builds
9:07
Speaker 4: up a lot of resentment, so much, so much resentment
9:10
Speaker 4: to the point that like one day I feel like
9:12
Speaker 4: I did, your partner will crack And so I actually
9:15
Speaker 4: can't do this anymore, Like I cannot have you come
9:17
Speaker 4: at me every time we leave the house, every time
9:18
Speaker 4: I got my girlfriends, every time I got on a trip, questioning,
9:21
Speaker 4: questioning my every move. You know, like I said, have
9:24
Speaker 4: been in that situation and it's just it's not a
9:26
Speaker 4: healthy dynamic. But a lot of the work has to
9:29
Speaker 4: do with you. Unfortunately, if you are the one that
9:31
Speaker 4: is feeling jealous and triggered, is highlighting what's not healed,
9:34
Speaker 4: maybe highlighting some things that you're insecure about as well.
9:37
Speaker 4: Like say, if you get jealous of a girl with
9:39
Speaker 4: cleavage and a hair's always out and make up's perfect,
9:41
Speaker 4: maybe you're wanting to take better care of yourself and
9:43
Speaker 4: you want to put more energy into what you look like,
9:45
Speaker 4: and you want your man to think you're sexy, but
9:47
Speaker 4: you've been in your sweats all day and you're working
9:49
Speaker 4: from home and you can't really be bothered, and so.
9:52
Speaker 1: It triggers you when you see that.
9:53
Speaker 2: Yes, lay to feel.
9:54
Speaker 4: Trigger And if I ever get jealous or triggered of
9:56
Speaker 4: a girl, now I can instantly catch myself of like
9:59
Speaker 4: what does this actually mean about me?
10:01
Speaker 3: Yeah?
10:01
Speaker 1: Nothing to do with her. Yeah, normally to be.
10:03
Speaker 4: Something around like sexual energy and I feel but maybe
10:06
Speaker 4: I'm a bit tapped out from that.
10:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm craving more of that.
10:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would to feel like that makes so much sense.
10:10
Speaker 1: Yes, Like okay, well what do you do about that?
10:12
Speaker 2: Yeah?
10:12
Speaker 1: You're gonna sit around and be a victim and blame
10:14
Speaker 1: it on her.
10:15
Speaker 3: No, yeah, that you totally Like in the past one
10:18
Speaker 3: I had that with my ex. I remember there was
10:20
Speaker 3: this one woman that he was going to collaborate with
10:22
Speaker 3: who was super successful, like been in the business game
10:25
Speaker 3: for like twenty years or something. And I remember that
10:27
Speaker 3: triggered me because I was like, but I'm only four
10:29
Speaker 3: years in and I'm like a bazy still, and like,
10:31
Speaker 3: to me, that was a triggering moment of like, oh,
10:34
Speaker 3: like I want and desire that for myself to have
10:36
Speaker 3: that level of business experience and ability and growth and
10:39
Speaker 3: all those things. So it's like to me, that was
10:41
Speaker 3: highlighting to me what I wanted and desired and thought, oh,
10:44
Speaker 3: when he sees this and somebody else, he's going to
10:46
Speaker 3: choose that because that's what I want.
10:47
Speaker 4: Yes, you know, it's funny what your mind can do too,
10:50
Speaker 4: Like I've been telling you a little while ago because
10:53
Speaker 4: I've like gone dark hair. And then one day we're
10:56
Speaker 4: watching a TV show and I think it was it
10:57
Speaker 4: Madison Beer or something, and I was like, oh, yeah,
11:00
Speaker 4: she's got like really nice hair, and he's like, yeah,
11:02
Speaker 4: I really like like long dark like long, black.
11:04
Speaker 1: Straight hair.
11:05
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember just getting super trigger because I'm like, well,
11:08
Speaker 4: I've got brown hair, not black hair. And I was
11:10
Speaker 4: wearing a wavy heaps at that point when you was
11:12
Speaker 4: first curling my hair. Yeah, I was feeling good and
11:14
Speaker 4: I looked at him and I just thought, cap bring
11:16
Speaker 4: playfulness into this, and You're like, bridesmaid, how we go?
11:18
Speaker 1: Oh you do?
11:19
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah?
11:19
Speaker 4: So I turned and I was like, oh, you'd like
11:21
Speaker 4: black hair, do you? I was like, do you like
11:24
Speaker 4: blonde too? He's like, I like old hair. I'm like,
11:27
Speaker 4: oh that's lovely.
11:28
Speaker 2: I think you just dyed your hair dark.
11:30
Speaker 3: Then as you look gone from blonde to brown, and
11:32
Speaker 3: then he was like I like black. And You're like,
11:34
Speaker 3: God's sake.
11:34
Speaker 2: I remember you bring into me. Be like, why does
11:37
Speaker 2: he like black? Now he's never mentioned this.
11:38
Speaker 4: Before, he's never said it like, but then he said
11:40
Speaker 4: something funny hey, because he was like, list with your hair,
11:42
Speaker 4: you can change it all the time.
11:43
Speaker 1: You like chocolate, men, Yes, I can't run out a chocolate.
11:46
Speaker 2: May I.
11:49
Speaker 1: Was like, good point.
11:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like you know what, that's cool.
11:51
Speaker 3: You did like black hair and I like chocolate men,
11:55
Speaker 3: Like it just makes all the difference to bring it
11:57
Speaker 3: in with playfulness, and I found I remember I first
11:59
Speaker 3: told you this when I bring it in with my ex,
12:01
Speaker 3: when I mentioned this about the girls, right, because my
12:04
Speaker 3: ex also had a lot of female staff members, and
12:07
Speaker 3: I remember he used to have like one on one
12:09
Speaker 3: meetings with them and stuff and would take them out
12:10
Speaker 3: for lunches and dinners and like make sure that they're
12:12
Speaker 3: okay and like all that sort of stuff. And that
12:14
Speaker 3: used to treat the fuck out of me.
12:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my god.
12:16
Speaker 3: I was just like, what do you mean people are
12:18
Speaker 3: gonna think that you're on a romantic date with this girl,
12:20
Speaker 3: and like it's not me, Like I just couldn't handle it.
12:23
Speaker 3: And I remember first experiencing that and then just being like,
12:26
Speaker 3: all cutes, he like tol in my hair, like I'm
12:28
Speaker 3: feeling a bit jealous, yes, you know, And then it
12:30
Speaker 3: was like he was able to reassure me in the
12:32
Speaker 3: moment of the way that I needed to at the time.
12:34
Speaker 1: Yes.
12:35
Speaker 3: And I think it's a powerful way to bring in
12:37
Speaker 3: jealousy without it escalating or without you pointing the finger,
12:42
Speaker 3: without it creating a problem that doesn't need to be there, make.
12:44
Speaker 1: Them feel like they're doing something wrong.
12:45
Speaker 3: Yes, times they're not, because there's a difference between bringing
12:48
Speaker 3: up jealousy and then accusing somebody of doing something very
12:52
Speaker 3: different energy.
12:53
Speaker 4: Yes, and the more secure you are within yourself, I think,
12:56
Speaker 4: the less little of sharp because all our stuff are
12:58
Speaker 4: female are hide away, but and Steve takes them out
13:00
Speaker 4: for lunch or like he's around females all the time.
13:03
Speaker 4: I honestly handle my heart say, there's never a time
13:05
Speaker 4: that it comes up that I'm like, oh, he took
13:08
Speaker 4: so and so to Lon, like I'd ask what the
13:10
Speaker 4: meeting was about. I'm genuinely curious about the business side
13:12
Speaker 4: of things, Like I'm not one bit triggered at all. Yeah,
13:15
Speaker 4: it's such a nice place to get there, but it
13:17
Speaker 4: takes a lot of in internal work.
13:19
Speaker 3: I think also the difference as well between like say,
13:22
Speaker 3: the relationship I was in and the relationship you out
13:23
Speaker 3: with Steve is like you guys have like such a
13:25
Speaker 3: safe foundation, whereas like the relationship I was in didn't
13:29
Speaker 3: have a safe foundation. There were so many cracks and
13:31
Speaker 3: stuff in that dynamic. And then there are men, let's say,
13:33
Speaker 3: like the men that I dated after him. It was
13:36
Speaker 3: like I immediately knew that I didn't have to worry. Yeah,
13:39
Speaker 3: like there was no underlying feeling of like, oh is
13:41
Speaker 3: he in because I just knew that he was, And
13:44
Speaker 3: then with this dynamic, it was like him feeling not
13:46
Speaker 3: fully in in the relationship made me question, Okay, what's
13:49
Speaker 3: he doing outside of this?
13:50
Speaker 2: Like you don't have really activated that in me?
13:52
Speaker 1: Even more so, that makes so much sense.
13:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, don't shame yourself for feeling like that,
13:57
Speaker 4: because I'm sure you listening, you're not shaming us a
13:59
Speaker 4: feeling like that. So just treat yourself how you would
14:02
Speaker 4: your best friends. Be kind to yourself, but also like
14:05
Speaker 4: really dig deepest to what's coming up for you. And
14:07
Speaker 4: I'm sure if you brought it to him with playfulness,
14:09
Speaker 4: he's only gonna want to bring you in closer and
14:11
Speaker 4: reassure you even more. But if you go in with
14:13
Speaker 4: like a dagger or attacking or pointing the finger or
14:16
Speaker 4: accusing him, he's gonna get defensive and it's gonna create
14:19
Speaker 4: this wadge and then you're gonna feel even more insecure
14:20
Speaker 4: when he goes to work.
14:21
Speaker 3: Something else that got me curious about this as well.
14:24
Speaker 3: I don't know the way that you were raised, obviously,
14:26
Speaker 3: or what was normalized with your parents and with your family.
14:29
Speaker 3: But like for me, my mom and dad like didn't
14:31
Speaker 3: really have like a.
14:32
Speaker 2: Big community around them.
14:33
Speaker 3: They were my dad was always at work, Mum was
14:34
Speaker 3: looking after the five children, and that was kind of
14:36
Speaker 3: what they had. They only really had each other.
14:38
Speaker 2: So for them, it wasn't.
14:40
Speaker 3: Normal for them to bring male and female friends in
14:43
Speaker 3: and around all the time. Yes, so like I think
14:47
Speaker 3: normalizing having platonic friends of the opposite sex won't make
14:52
Speaker 3: you feel as jealous if someone immediately comes around.
14:54
Speaker 2: That was something I had to unlearn.
14:55
Speaker 3: I had to unlearn that having a female friend or
14:58
Speaker 3: a female around isn't a threat to my relationship or
15:01
Speaker 3: isn't a threat to my dynamic, Whereas if that's not
15:04
Speaker 3: familiar to you, you automatically start to see other people
15:07
Speaker 3: as a threat instead of going, oh, no, it's safe
15:09
Speaker 3: for me to have people in my life like this.
15:11
Speaker 3: So I don't know if that's helpful, but that understanding
15:14
Speaker 3: that really helped me in letting go of that.
15:16
Speaker 4: And I'm sure you listening to have you ever had
15:18
Speaker 4: a male friend that's completely blatonic by there's nothing sexual.
15:21
Speaker 1: There, but you just get along really well. Your great banter.
15:24
Speaker 4: He's also may have some work colleagues because someone's really
15:26
Speaker 4: well and they vibe in their work environment and that's cool.
15:29
Speaker 4: It doesn't mean that she's a threat, but I think
15:30
Speaker 4: it's valid how you're feeling.
15:32
Speaker 1: But there's definitely some work to do there, absolutely.
15:34
Speaker 2: But we love it all. We welcome it all.
15:36
Speaker 4: Definitely, there's your old ego coming here and there. And
15:39
Speaker 4: this is where, like, if you've only discovered us four
15:41
Speaker 4: months ago, I heard you say, But if you go
15:43
Speaker 4: back to one of our last episodes last year, we
15:45
Speaker 4: talked about introducing our alter ego. It was maybe January
15:47
Speaker 4: or February last year when we first started, she rises.
15:50
Speaker 4: This is where you're bringing your old ego and you'll
15:52
Speaker 4: be like, if say, your name is Stacy, this is
15:54
Speaker 4: not Stacy, this is Savannah. And Savannah is.
15:57
Speaker 1: Feeling a little jealous. Yeah, yeah, bringing in to be
16:00
Speaker 1: really playful.
16:01
Speaker 4: So then it's like your partner's automatically like, Okay, she
16:03
Speaker 4: needs me right now. Yes, you get to play that
16:05
Speaker 4: dynamic and yeah, make it fun.
16:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, go listen to that episode because it will explain
16:09
Speaker 3: why we do that throughout the podcast.
16:11
Speaker 4: Super helpful will help you in your relationship Forever really
16:14
Speaker 4: helped us.
16:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'd lie in and an update.
16:18
Speaker 4: Yeah we'd love an update. Sure, and we'll see you
16:20
Speaker 4: guys tomorrow.
16:21
Speaker 2: Bye.