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Why 92% of New Year's Resolutions Fail... and How to Be in the 8% · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my name is Satasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: or the Order Kerni Whalbury and a waddery woman. And
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: before we get started on She's on the Money podcast,
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  Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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  Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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  Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on
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  Speaker 2: the Money.
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  Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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  Speaker 3: that's hit help you smash your financial goals and live
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: your best life. Now, let's be honest. Who here has
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  Speaker 3: made New Year's resolutions only to watch them fade away
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  Speaker 3: by February. Maybe you promise yourself you'd hit the gym,
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  Speaker 3: only to end up paying for a membership you barely use.
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  Speaker 3: Or maybe you set a big savings goal, but somehow
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  Speaker 3: online shopping and brunches keep getting in the way. That
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  Speaker 3: sounds instead the best of us. It sounds like a
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  Speaker 3: lot of us. I'm thinking that sounds like you. You
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  Speaker 3: are in good company. I'm excited with me today. As
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  Speaker 3: you can hear, is the woman where all are he
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  Speaker 3: to call our personal financial goals cheerleader, the one and
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  Speaker 3: only Victoria Devine.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, Happy New Year. I'm very excited about this Beck.
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  Speaker 2: It's the time of year where we start thinking about
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  Speaker 2: what's next. So today we're talking about news resolutions, why
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  Speaker 2: ninety two percent of them don't last, and most importantly,
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  Speaker 2: how do we in the eight percent who actually succeed. So,
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  Speaker 2: if you are ready to make twenty twenty five your
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  Speaker 2: best year yet, my friend, this episode is for you.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Why I think this is so fun because I am
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  Speaker 2: your personal hype girl, Like, whatever you want to do,
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  Speaker 2: I'm there. You want to buy a pony or fantastic,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: You want to go to the gym, fantastic, You don't
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  Speaker 2: want to go to the gym? Incredible, even better, even better?
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  Speaker 2: But we do know the time of year right now
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  Speaker 2: is when we start to think about what's next. Like,
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  Speaker 2: so today we're going to be talking about news resolutions
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  Speaker 2: and why or depressing but ninety two percent of them
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  Speaker 2: don't last, and most importantly, how you can be in
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  Speaker 2: the eight percent of people who actually succeed when setting
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  Speaker 2: these goals. So, if you're ready to make twenty twenty
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  Speaker 2: five your best year yet, this episode is for you.
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  Speaker 3: So there's something really like satisfying about starting. You know,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: there's big goals on January first, it's like new year,
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  Speaker 3: new me, new year for me.
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  Speaker 2: Wait, it feels so much fresher.
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  Speaker 3: Than like your regular Monday, you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 2: I mean In the She's on the Money community, we
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  Speaker 2: are like, you don't have to wait for a new
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  Speaker 2: year to set new goals, Like you can start anytime,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: which is true, right, But we'd be lying to ourselves
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  Speaker 2: if we said that it doesn't feel extra shiny. It
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  Speaker 2: does like it's a new diary.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, if it's a new diary or a new month,
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: or a new page or a new anything, it's like fresh,
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  Speaker 3: it's clean.
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  Speaker 2: Let's start exactly. And you know what, that's actually a
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: real psych thing, Beck, It's called the fresh start effect,
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  Speaker 2: and study show honestly, we've never had an original experience, Beck,
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  Speaker 2: but studies show that we're more motivated to set goals
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: at the start of a new year or any milestone
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: moment like maybe a birthday, or at the start of
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  Speaker 2: a new month, because it does genuinely feel like a
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  Speaker 2: clean slate. It's not just us being like, oh it
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: feels like that. No, no, no, that's psychological. It's ingrained
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  Speaker 2: in us. We actually get the opportunity when we feel
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  Speaker 2: like there's a clean slate to separate our past self
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  Speaker 2: from our future self, which makes it so much easier
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  Speaker 2: to believe that we can start over and achieve big things. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I feel like this is like, I hope your de
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Lulu comes true. True. I feel like sometimes you need
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: to lull yourself into a false sense of confidence.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.
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  Speaker 2: Did you go to the gym once this year? Victoria Devine? No,
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  Speaker 2: you didn't. Why do you think it's going to happen
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  Speaker 2: in January? I don't know, but I am overly optimistic. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think that's so funny that we think that on
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  Speaker 3: a specific day we're miraculously going to be a.
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  Speaker 2: Different but we are because it's twenty twenty.
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  Speaker 3: THRO believe you me exactly. So, Yeah, that was a
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  Speaker 3: big one. Really does kind of make you feel a
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  Speaker 3: bit like, Okay, what chance do I have a sticks?
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  Speaker 3: If you're listening to this, you have all the chances
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  Speaker 3: in the world.
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  Speaker 2: We're actually going to do it this year. This is
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  Speaker 2: going to be our year to thrive.
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  Speaker 3: Why do so many resolutions fizzle out before?
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  Speaker 2: Just because we like are a bit d Lulu. If
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  Speaker 2: we're being honest, we set some really unrealistic goals and
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  Speaker 2: like we're all guilty of it, right, Like while the
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  Speaker 2: fresh start effect of a new year can be super motivating,
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  Speaker 2: it can all so make us feel overly ambitious and like,
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  Speaker 2: I don't want you to downplay your ambition, but that
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  Speaker 2: does often lead to really big, vague goals like I'm
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: gonna save more, I'm gonna get really fit. What does
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  Speaker 2: that even mean? Back when we say I'm gonna save more,
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  Speaker 2: what do you mean by that?
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  Speaker 1: Like?
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  Speaker 2: Are we setting a realistic goal of like I'm gonna
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  Speaker 2: aim to save an extra twenty bucks a week and
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to be doing this by X Y Z,
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  Speaker 2: Or when I say I want to get really fit
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  Speaker 2: and I can't do this, so no judgment. I want
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  Speaker 2: to be able to do ten chin ups in a row.
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  Speaker 2: Like we want to set goals that make sense but
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  Speaker 2: also are trackable. So research from the American Psychological Association
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  Speaker 2: shows that large undefined goals can quickly feel super overwhelming,
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  Speaker 2: which decreases our motivation because they're hard to track. Sorry,
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  Speaker 2: it's too hard, Like it's too hard, Like it's too hard.
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  Speaker 2: It's kind of like climbing a ladder, but the rungs
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  Speaker 2: are too hot. The rung is like six foot off
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  Speaker 2: the ground and I'm actually five to two, so I
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  Speaker 2: can't reach the rung. Sure, but if each rung was
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: only a foot apart, there's small steps in the right direction,
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  Speaker 2: I can climb that ladder.
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  Speaker 3: What a gorgeous analogy.
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  Speaker 2: Well things, I came up with it myself and it
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  Speaker 2: made sense in my head. Another reason why it's really
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  Speaker 2: hard is because there's a lack of a clear plan.
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  Speaker 2: I kind of touched on that before, but there is
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  Speaker 2: a saying a goal without a plan is just a wish.
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  Speaker 2: I know. These analogies or Instagram quotes you could say
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  Speaker 2: often feel a little bit like flippant, but legitimately, if
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: you're setting a goal in your head I want to
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  Speaker 2: save more, you basically should just say I wish I
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  Speaker 2: could save more. Yeah, research then says ninety two percent
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  Speaker 2: if you aren't going to be able to do that right,
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  Speaker 2: So we need to create a plan. Without a specific plan,
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  Speaker 2: it is so easy to feel lost and then lose
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  Speaker 2: momentum once the initial excitement fades, because do you know
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  Speaker 2: what happens? First of January comes right beck You've set
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  Speaker 2: the goal, you said save more, and you wrote it
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  Speaker 2: in your crispy brand new diary, and so you've looked
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: at your budget this month and you're like, Slay, I'm
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: gonna pull that two hundred bucks out. I'm gonna put
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: it in my savings account or look at me go.
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  Speaker 2: But you didn't make a plan, and you didn't do
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  Speaker 2: all of your budgeting. So come February you're like, ah,
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  Speaker 2: my housemate just text me and electricity is due. I'm
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  Speaker 2: just going to dip into the savings and pull those
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  Speaker 2: out because I actually didn't make a plan right and
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  Speaker 2: I felt really good about it. But do you know
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  Speaker 2: what that's reinforcing is the idea that you can't save.
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  Speaker 2: So instead of going I can create a plan from
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  Speaker 2: the start, come February and you're dipping into those savings already,
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  Speaker 2: you are telling yourself that you're not good at something.
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  Speaker 2: Immediately you're going in and going, I need to pay
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  Speaker 2: the electricity bill. I'm so bad at savings. I'm not
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  Speaker 2: good at this, Like I suck. You set yourself up
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  Speaker 2: for failure. Yeah, it's not because you're bad at it,
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  Speaker 2: it's because the plan wasn't juicy enough.
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  Speaker 3: True, And when you're save two hundred dollars next month
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  Speaker 3: and next month and then the whole visual cycle.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly, we need to go back to basics. So say
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  Speaker 2: another example, you set a goal to save one thousand
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  Speaker 2: dollars and then every month you're going to tell yourself
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  Speaker 2: save more each month. But without a plan, you're going
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  Speaker 2: to come to December twenty twenty five and you're going
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  Speaker 2: to have nothing in savings because there's no set amount,
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  Speaker 2: there's no timeline, there's no strategy. You barely have anything
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  Speaker 2: for the first month. Like you look at it and
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  Speaker 2: you just think that you're terrible at this, And the
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  Speaker 2: reality is, it's not that you're bad with money. In fact,
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  Speaker 2: some of the best people I know with money aren't
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  Speaker 2: the highest income earnest. They just create a good plan
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  Speaker 2: and stick to it. I'm not good at sticking to
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  Speaker 2: a plan either, but like you know, I'm just trying
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  Speaker 2: to be relatable. But life gets in the way, and
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  Speaker 2: before you know it, the goal it starts feeling impossible
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  Speaker 2: because it comes close to the time that you thought
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  Speaker 2: you would have one thousand dollars and then you just
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  Speaker 2: didn't have a thousand dollars. Sure, and you're like, well,
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  Speaker 2: what's that reinforcing Beck, that you're bad at savings. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: you're not bad at savings. We just didn't have a plan.
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  Speaker 2: But if we'd created some clear steps, like maybe instead
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  Speaker 2: you're like, Okay, cool, I want to save one thousand
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  Speaker 2: dollars and I want to do that. I don't know
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  Speaker 2: maybe by Meredith next year. How long is that going
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  Speaker 2: to take till it gets there? Oh, maybe I'll save
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: one hundred dollars a month. And maybe because you're a
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  Speaker 2: bite sized girl like me, you need to break it up.
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  Speaker 2: So instead of saving one hundred dollars each and every
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: single month, because that coming out of your account, you're like,
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  Speaker 2: you could work if it comes out on the day
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  Speaker 2: that you get paid, you could automate it to a
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  Speaker 2: saving's account, or you could break it down right and
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  Speaker 2: you could go, well, Beck, one hundred bucks coming out
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  Speaker 2: of my account every month. That's not for me because
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I see that amount and it gives me anxiety. Maybe
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: you need a monthly goal. If you set up a
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: direct debit today, Beck, And this is probably a good
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: one as well, because how many of you are stressed
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: about Christmas? So how hard Beck, was it to do
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Christmas this year?
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Man?
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: I wish that instead of the anxiety, be festive and
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: the first time I'm.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Going to give you the biggest Christmas gift. Yeah. Go,
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: you're gonna go set up a bank account. Yes, and
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: are you gonna call it Christmas? Okay? And you're gonna
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: set up a direct debit so it just gets taken
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: out of your account. Nineteen dollars. Can you afford nineteen
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: dollars every week? We're just going to direct debit nineteen
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: dollars to Christmas fun? I reckon, So nineteen dollars Christmas.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Next year, you're gonna have one thousand dollars for Christmas?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, right, nineteen bucks. Great. But if you got
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: to the end of the year, so the year gets
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: away from me, start of December comes, you're like, far out,
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: we're doing this again. At the start of December. I
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: spoke to you. You said you were anxious about the
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: amount of spending you were gonna do that month. Yeah,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: start of December you could have one thousand dollars, or
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: start of December next year you could be trying to
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: scrape together one thousand dollars. Do you need one thousand
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: dollars for Christmas back? Maybe you do, maybe you don't.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Maybe you only spend five hundred of that. You've got
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: an extra five hundred bucks, true, Like you don't have
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: to spend the money that you save that specific goal.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Isn't it amazing that you could have extra casholer at
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Christmas time?
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  Speaker 3: I know this is the thing, but it's a great idea.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: But nineteen dollars and twenty three cents each and every
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  Speaker 2: single week is going to add up to one thousand
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: dollars and that would take the pressure off, and that
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: would automatically make you good at money. Yeah, because right
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: now you're probably and I know that you always say
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I'm so bad at it, like I can't save, I
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: can't do whatever. Let's pretend it's me. Pretend I'm the
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: direct debit finance godmother. I'm going in, I'm taking nineteen
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  Speaker 2: bucks off. You can't have it back, putting it over here?
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: You can have it at Christmas. You'll be like, okay, sorry,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: v Yeah, I'll give you one thousand dollars it's yours,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: but it won't feel like one thousand dollars. It will
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: feel like nineteen. Yes. True, but if we set ourselves up,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: it's very easy. Small steps. But get to the month
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: before Christmas where you're getting that from. We can do
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: hard things. The steps need to just be small. So
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: we want to focus on motivation. But we also don't
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: want to just focus on motivation.
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  Speaker 3: Because it's fleeting.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: It's fleeting. She's here today, gone tomorrow exactly. I am
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: very motivated. I've decided I'm in my fit mum era
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: cool for five minutes. Five minutes a fit mum era.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to create a plan that is
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: sustainable because motivation is really powerful. At first, I'm like,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: we're going to do this, but it actually naturally fades,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: so it's not even oh, I lost my motivation. Like
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: that's actually a scientific thing. Motivation over time fades because
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: we get used to it. It's like shiny new car.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Let's say tomorrow, Beck, you got a brand spanking new car.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: How excited are you? Pretty excited?
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: I have do more writing the lecho, but.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: How excited are you in six months.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: That's a very good question, and honestly, probably not as.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Exactly that motivation for you. So what I want you
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: to think about is ego depletion. It's actually a fascinating
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: concept in psychology. It refers to the idea that will
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: power is like a muscle, so it gets tired the
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: more that we use it. And research shows that every
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: single time we exercise self control, whether it's resisting an
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: urge to splurge on a sale, or it's Beck saying
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: no to the third coffee that she's going to buy
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: that day, or deciding to stick to a budget instead
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: of going out with your friends, it uses up a
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: little bit of our mental energy that's exhausting over time,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: especially without breaks or habits to lean on, that energy depletes,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: making it so much harder, and then we kind of
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: can't resist slipping back into our old behaviors because we're tired. Yes,
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: like you're asking me to do something that is exhausting,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: like that, you're exercising self control all the time. Like
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: if I said, hey, Beck, for the next few days,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I want you to say no to two coffees, I
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: reckon you could do that. It wouldn't be easy.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: I send the next two month.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: You need to say no to a coffee every day
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: too hard.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Even if I say noddle coffee once, I'm like, I'm
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: gonna treat myself.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: To coffee exactly. And I think that we need to
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: be really honest about this, And that's why goals that
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: rely solely on willpower. Yeah, Like I'm gonna stop spending
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: money on Uber eats forever, or I'm gonna stop buying
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: coffee out because I'm Beck forever. They fail, Yes, And
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: that's why I am such a big believer in creating
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: the systems and the strategies that do the heavy lifting
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: and support you. So like, I'm not expecting Beck that
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: you can do that, But what I am expecting is
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: that if I give you a system and you get
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: to implement it and not have to spend a lot
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: of mental energy on it and it kind of happens
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: in the background, I'm setting you up for success, even
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: on the days when you don't feel like it. Yeah,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: because back to our thousand dollars nineteen dollars a week
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: coming out of your account. This is not even me
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: being nasty, I promise, But for someone like you who
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: doesn't lean into budgeting, you're like, really for me, like
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I'm a bit more of a yellow girl. I can
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: almost guarantee that if we set that up and you
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: go to check your account and you're like, oh, I
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: only have twenty bucks in there, I still want a coffee,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: that's fine because I've actually already taken that nineteen dollars.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: We're not thinking about what we're saving, we're just thinking
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: about what we've got access to. So I've taken your
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: access away, and now it's not taking up mental energy. Yes,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: if it takes up mental energy and you're like, oh,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: but I've got the cash and it's so hard not
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: to spend it out of sight, out of mind, yeah,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I took it away. I am the direct debit. I
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: love that I reframed my entire brand image to be like,
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: see me as the direct debit. Every time you set
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: one up, it's Victoria taking control of your money. Yep.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I love that. Maybe it's me on a power trip whatever.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it feels like, oh, that's not my money anymore.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: It's not. Yeah, it's not if you direct edited it.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Victoria did that. Sorry, Like VI said a hundred money, Like,
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I think it's really important to remember that mentally, if
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: things are hard, we're not going to do them anyway.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: The other thing I want to talk about, which I
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: don't think you fall into very often. I do, though,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: and that's external pressure. So like resolutions, they're often based
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: on I would say, external expectations. Right, So you might
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: spend a lot of time online and follow a lot
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: of influences and you might be like I should lose weight,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: or you might see somebody in a flashy new car
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: and you like, I really want to buy a new car.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Or recently, I have seen so many people traveling that
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, we should plan holiday. Yeah right, Okay,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: why am I thinking that? Because I'm seeing other people
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: doing that, Like Victoria, you had a big holiday this year,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: you don't get one next year, Like you know, A
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: part of my budgeting with my husband is that, like
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: we go on one big holiday and then the year
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: after we might do something small, but.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Like it's not a big holiday, bound down the hatches.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like we've got to have some level of balance.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: And so I'm thinking I saw my friend here be
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: for real, Like that's an external pressure and I'm back
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: on the s like train. I've been doing so much
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: research to this episode. Big self determination theory suggests that
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: we more likely to stick to goals that are meaningful
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: to us personally rather than those that are driven by
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: like trends or social pressure.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: So if I'm just seeing people online and I'm like,
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I really want to do that. I want to go
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: on a holiday, and then I set up my savings,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: hown't I start saving? Like that's not going to help.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: It's not going to keep me motivated. If I'm trying
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: to like big a goal here, save for a home
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: or make a big investment because everyone else is doing it.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: You're like seeing ally friends post their sold stickers and
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: you keep telling yourself, Oh, I really should save through deposit. Yeah,
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: but deep down you don't care about owning a house.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: That makes sense.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: You'd rather actually travel or grow your career, do something else. Yeah,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: that's really valid. And we need to look at ourselves
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: and what our goals are and what our priorities are,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: because if the goal doesn't match up to what we
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: truly want, your goal is to lose motivation and then
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: you're going to give up. And if we give up,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: then what are we going to do? We're going to
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: perpetuate this idea I'm not good at money. It's not
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: that you're not good at money, it's that you never
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: had the right systems and processes in place.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Powerful, But it's.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: True also Beck having an all or nothing mindset, Yes,
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: that is a big one. You're a bit go hard
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: to go home. And I rate it. And it's so funny,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: like anyone who's been listening to the show all year, Like, Beck,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: what are you doing this weekend? I'm going to Japan?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Can you afford it? Nah? But we're going boots and
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: all in. I love that. And many of us actually
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: fall into the trap of like all or nothing, and
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: we feel like one slip up is a personal failure. Yeah,
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: And psychologists actually refer to this as cognitive rigidity. Well
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: yet right, it's an actual term. And I have to
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: always say rigidity consistently before I say it aloud in
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: my head because it's a high word for me, where
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: small setbacks actually feel like a reason to quit all together.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: And I feel like I'm introducing a lot of psychology
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: into this episode because I've done so many budgeting episodes,
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: so many goal setting episodes, and so many of us
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: still go But I'm not good at it, Like girl,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: it's actually psychology totally.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: She's got receipts.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: Ye, come with the receipts.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Come with the receipts.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: You are actually good at money. You just have a
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: really bad system, and I'm here to fix that for you.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: So let's say you set a goal to stick to
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: a strict budget for one month. Beck midway through the month,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: you splurge, so you're going out for dinner and drinks
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: and you bought yourself a new vape. Is that relatable
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: personal attack?
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: Yes? Absolutely?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: But how many times have you set a goal and
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: then done something like that? No judgment, but you've thought, well,
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: damn it, I've already blown my budget. May all just
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: keep spending?
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, every single mother, we just keep speaking again.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Halfway through, may as well just keep spending. Instead of
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: seeing it as a small, very manageable slip up, you
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: then treat it like a total failure and you abandon
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: the goal, You wipe it off. You're like, I can
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: just save next month. Yes, fine, I don't even care.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to buy so many more of this thing.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm going to treat myself because
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: I've already come this far, But like that mentality is
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: going to financially ruin you. Adjusting for like one dinner
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: or one d rail or one purchase that wasn't planned for,
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: isn't actually going to derail you from overall progress. Like
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: let's say that your plan was to save five hundred
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: bucks this month, and after work, the girls will like,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: do you want to go out for drinks? Back? Do
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: you want to go to the pub? And I know
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: you don't drink a lot, but like you went out
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: to pub, You had a few soda waters, you bought
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: a palma. Yeah, palmers these days one are they like
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: twenty six twenty eight usually insane? Right, So you've really
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: spent thirty bucks. Then all of a sudden, you did
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: buy a few little cheeky bebs for other people because
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: you're a generous type. You've spent fifty bucks that night.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Are we going to wipe off the rest of the
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: four hundred and fifty dollars that you could save? Yeah?
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: True, Mentally I would, I'd be like, oh, no, I've
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: just dood but like, oh.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I've already come this fire, and like my generosity got
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: ahead of me and I had this fancy meal out
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: that I wouldn't have done. I had dinner in the fridge.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: What am I doing? So we're going to throw the
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: other four hundred and fifty bucks away? So you're telling
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: me that pub meal that did cost you fifty bucks,
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Like you're going to throw four hundred and fifty dollars
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: away because you didn't feel good about that decision.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: When you put it like that, it's quite alarming, isn't
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: it That we do in.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: The bin doesn't matter.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: True, you could not literally pay me to put four
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: hundred and fifty bucks in the bin, But that's kind
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: of what you're doing. And it's all about how you're
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: choosing to respond to how things make you feel. So
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: what I would say is reframe. I'm not going to
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: hit my goal, but I'm going to go four hundred
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: and fifty dollars. Do I actually need to be budgeting
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: for nights out?
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Is that something that is happening every month? Is that
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: something that's consistently derailing me? Maybe I need to reset
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: my expectations of saving five hundred bucks a month and
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: go gin know what, I'm going to say four hundred
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: a month and I'm going to put a budget aside
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: that I can dip into. So I don't feel guilty
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: about those things because I love going to the pub
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: with my mates. I just have a really good time.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: I want to go out for that meal and that
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: twenty eight dollar palmer. While exorbitant, like be for real,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: it's a chicken snitty with some sauce and ham. Yeah,
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: it actually sparks a lot of joy in my life. Yeah,
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: so we're going to readjust we're not going to think
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: of that as a personal failure totally. Anyway. I feel
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: like I've yapped for a while. So we're going to
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: go to a break, and after the break, I'm going
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: to be sharing the game and changing steps I made
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: them up. So yeah, anyway, that are going to help
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: you to leave the ninety two percent of people behind
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: and join the eight percent who actually follow through on
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: their goals. Beck, because what year is it? Next year?
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Twenty twenty?
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Thrive?
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: All right, stick around.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: Before the break we dug into y ninety two percent
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: center of news. Resolutions don't stick, unfortunately, but these here
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: to help ninety two percent of us. For the eight percent,
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: I'm like, good for you, girl and boy, and they
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: then so V tell us, how do we join that
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: magical eight percent.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I'm here to make your Delulu come true true.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: You're welcome. But and I said this before, we just
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: need to get really clear on our specific goals. It's
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: not just about writing them down. I will explain that fully,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: but it's also about creating that framework and that structure, because,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: like I think, if I then say Beck, what's your structure,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I don't have one. Okay, well you're
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: setting yourself up to fail. I can give you the structure.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: So we need to be super clear on that goal.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what it is. To make your goals
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: actually achievable and make your Delulu come true true, we're
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: going to focus on making them specific and actionable. Okay,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: if you said my goal next year is to save
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: more cool, you're a ninety two percenter's I'm going to happen. Instead,
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: we are going to give ourselves a clear path forward.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: So if you want to change that mindset, we're going
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: to say exactly what we want to accomplish, down to
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: the sum that you want to see in your bank
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: account on a specific date, and things you're going to
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: do to make that happen. So if you said, by
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: the end of next year, I want a thousand dollars
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: additional in my emergency fund, and I'm going to make
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: that happen by transferring nineteen dollars every single week to
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: that account. It's probably going to happen. Yeah, you automated it.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Do you know how that's not going to happen? Back
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: is if you go in and manually cancel that direct
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: debit like otherwise, it's actually set, it's golden, it's good
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: to go. So another example, say you want to save
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: two grand for a holiday, and you're going to put
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: aside one hundred bucks every payday and you're going to
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: cut out on dining AUP. You're making a plan, you're
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: putting it aside. But I reckon the real magic in
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: saving is direct debiting because like, you're actually in control
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: of it. It's not the bank, it doesn't cost you anything,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: nobody else is getting involved. You are setting up an
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: automation on your banking. And the cool thing about direct debits,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: I think so many of us have this connection with
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: direct debits in our head that they're just for bills
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: and stuff, Like you signed a form and the electricity
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: bill took it out of your account or your phone
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: bill did the same thing. You can actually go in
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: to the settings on your bank cap and go I
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: would like to set up a direct debit for a dollar,
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: and I would like it going out of my account
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: every single day to this other account. It could be
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: with the same bank, it could be with a different bank, Like,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. But you can set that up and
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: then if you need to, you can go in and
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: cancel that. But like, you can make a whole heap
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: of rules, like you don't even have to have one
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: big one. You could be like, okay, cool, So every month,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: maybe this nineteen dollars. You're like, I'd like to feel
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: like it's ten bucks. So instead every payday, Beck, I'm
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: going to have fifty bucks come out on payday and
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: go into that account and then every other week, ten
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: bucks is going to direct it.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: That doesn't feel so bad, does it. That feels it's
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: still one thousand dollars. Wow. So if I said, oh,
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: you see that, director, but it's ten bucks that goes
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: to your savings every single week and fifty bucks comes
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: out on payday, yeah, are you going to go in
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: and actually cancel that?
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Probably not, But I'm going to take it out at
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: some point.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine. It's of a coffee, that's fine. But
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: we're setting up these behaviors to be as successful as possible.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: And that way you know exactly how much you're saving,
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: when to save it, and what changes you need to
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: make to reach that goal. Sure, if after a month
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: back you're like, I have not enough cash in my bank,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: well we might go in and shift that and go, well,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: maybe it's not one thousand dollars by Christmas, it's five
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: hundred bucks by Christmas. It's not actually a wish anymore.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: It's a plan that is in action. Yeah.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: And also, like five hundred dollars, fifty dollars whatever, it's
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: better than zero dollars.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I promise feach to you like it's Christmas Day. So
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I know that if I said to most of you,
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: if you had an extra five hundred bucks this Christmas time,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: how good would that feel? You'd be like, oh, what would
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: have taken a lot of pressure off? We can do that. Yeah,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: fifty bucks a month this time next year.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: You are going to be focused on the festivities and
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: the good feels and the warmth, and you're not going
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: to be anxious. You're not gonna be stressed. I'm kind
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: of talking to myself, but I'm talking to everyone else.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: We're manifesting that for everybody we are, we are with
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: one hundred percent. So I feel like I'm starting to
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: convince you.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, genuinely feeling motivated.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Okay, let's stay on that. So I want
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: you to also make a mindset shift, because remember how
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: we said that we kind of throw the baby out
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: with bath water earlier in the episode. If you spend
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: fifty bucks out, then you throw four hundred and fifty
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: away because you're like, what's the point of saving. We're
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: gonna have to do a pretty good mindset shift here,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: and we're gonna shift our mindset from perfection to progress. Okay,
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: So a plethora of different studies back show that being
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: flexible and allowing for like small missteps can significantly improve
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: long term habit formation. Okay, that's kind of cool. You
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: don't convinced, but I felt you set a goal to
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: save two hundred bucks a month. Sure, you're going to
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: cut back on takeout, You're gonna not go shopping. Then
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: one weekend it's exactly like the pub you splurwd you
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: on dinner and a shopping spree. You go ham, you
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: spend a whole two hundred bucks. Instead of thinking I
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: have blown it? Why bother? You're gonna pause. You're going
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: to acknowledge, Yeah, like that wasn't in budget, here's what
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: it is, and then we're just going to adjust. Like
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: maybe you go, all right, well, I did go out
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: for dinner this week, had the twenty eight dollars Palmer.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: It made my eyes water. I had plans V and
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: I We're going to catch up next week for dinner.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I'm actually going to text VT and say, hey, can
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: we just do dinner next month? Need to reschedule? Or
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: hey can we just go for a walk around the
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: tan and grab a coffee? And then you're gonna put
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: that money into savings instead. So we're going to make
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: it up somehow, Okay, We're going to like think strategically
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: about like how do I change this slip up from
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: being a bit of a slip up to like not
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: actually missing a beat this month? And if it's not possible,
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: that's okay. We can have some level of self compassion
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: and be like I'm still on track, Like I'm doing
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: really well and if an opportunity arises that I could
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: chuck an extra fifty bucks into my savings, I'm going
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: to try and take it. But I'm not going to
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: let one set back completely derail our progress of achieving
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: that goal. Yeah, there's more research because I feel like
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: research helps. I feel like research makes us feel like
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: it's not just us.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, too validating.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's validating. But it's also like, oh, Beck,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: we've never had an original experience. It turns out a
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: much us. So some research from the University of California
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: found that people who practice self compassion so they're kind
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: to themselves after experiencing setbacks, are far more likely to
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: persist with their goals.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: That's really kid sentence, but it's.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Also like, I'm not very self compassionate. We're compassionate to
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: one another, but like self talk, the amount of stuff
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: I say to myself in my head that is unhinged.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: If I said that aloud to you, honestly jailable, you'd
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: be canceled right, Like how many times you'd be like
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: I can't believe I X y Z. But by acknowledging
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: our slip up without self criticism, I'm not gonna say
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: it's easy. It's like a muscle. We've got to practice it.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: These people are able to maintain their motivation and maintain
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: their confidence, which helps them stay committed to their habits,
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: so we want to reframe it. I often ask myself,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: would I be comfortable saying that to my best friend? Yes,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: so that's your complete sidetrack. But me, after having Harvey,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's a shit show with your hormones
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: and your mental health and whatnot. I kept trying to
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: fact check myself and being like, would I say this
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: to a friend? Absolutely, I wouldn't. Why am I saying
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: it to myself?
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Why am I YEA being so nasty to me?
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: And if you like pretend that you are a different person,
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: like say, there's you, the physical being, the vessel that
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: holds everything together, and the you that you're talking to
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: when you slip up up, you know, the different.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: People telling me so like Beck, you went out to
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: the pub twenty eight dollars parmer, You're internally being like,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I'm such a idiot. I can't believe it. Can't be bothered.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to say like I just do it
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: again next month. Imagine if you picked up the phone. Heyve,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: guess what I've done. What would I say?
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: You would be very kind?
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: And what would I tell you to do?
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: You would say rest reset.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: You deserved it, babe. Was it a good parma?
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Exactly?
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Twenty eight bucks? Was it extra crispy? It's going to
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: be worth it whatever your source was, homemade, Like, I'm
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: going to ask you, oa pama, Yeah, and I'm going
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: to go that doesn't matter. No, you had a good time.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: We're still going to save four or fifty bucks. Yeah,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: and you go, oh yeah, that's a good point. Tell
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: your friend to yourself. Totally great, Corby, And that segway
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: is really nicely into my next point, which you've heard
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: of accountability, buddies.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: I have until right now, Yes you have. Maybe I've
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: heard a different version of what you're about to say.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: Surely, but there is science behind having an accountabiit, buddy.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Sure someone that's going to keep you on track. No
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: in the mean way, just in a.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: No, but yeah, I could you exactly. It's like I
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: go to pilates, but I only want to go to
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: polarates when Jess is going to pilarates. So she texts
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: me and tells me what classes she's going to book
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: into and then I book in those ones, and then
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: I feel bad if I don't go because Jess is
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: going and I told her I was going instant accountability partner.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: But again, I'm bringing the receipts to the table because
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: research from the American Society of Training and Development found
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: that people are sixty five percent more likely to achieve
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: a goal. These are some big numbers of this episode
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: after committing to somebody else. However, there's a little caveat here.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: The success rate jumps to ninety five percent when they
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: have a specific accountability appointment or check in. Yeah, I
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: do agree. You tell me you're going to do something, Yeah,
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: probably going to try. Let's go back to the savings example. Yeah,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: so the nineteen dollars you said before, Yeah, I'm probably
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: going to do that. That sounds pretty good. But if
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I kept checking in on you, have you've done that? Big?
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: I'm stressed of this hypothetical thought.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I got to do it. I won't. I
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: don't want to stress you.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: I'm nineteen dollars.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: You can send. The ongoing commitment reinforces dedication and follow through.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: I should say too, like I just got a Pete.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: I know a lot of people can't afford that, and
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: that's so so so reasonablecause it's very expensive. But I
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: think that if you don't have like a buddy, you're
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: a friend, like because not a lot of people are
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: surrounded by you know, those kind of people. If you
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: sign up to any Time Finners and you tell the receptionist, hey,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: can you hold me accountable? Or like I'm telling you
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: right now, I'm going to be here tomorrow.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Find someone in the Shoes on the Money Commune, find
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: anyone anywhere anytime. I'm going to make a post in
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: the Shehes on the Money community, probably way before this
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: episode comes out, because I'm excited about this, Like it'll
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: be like a find an accountability buddy yep. Like you
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: can find a friend and even if you won't meet
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: in person, you could like text each other or Facebook
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: messenger each other and like be like, hey, cool, I
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: just wanted to check in on your goal, and then
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: like you can do it for each of you.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: But another good example of this is say you and
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: a friend you both to go to Europe this summer.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Sounds pretty good, sounds great. It's gonna cost five grand
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: each instead of just keeping a casual. You're gonna set
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: up a weekly check in. It doesn't have to be serious.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: We don't have to go out for this, but like,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: maybe you put an alarm on your phone text Beck
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: about Europe. Easy, but you're going to set up weekly
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: check ins to track your progress together. So then when
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: I set this alarm in my phone text Beck about Europe,
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be like, hey, how's your savings going
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: for Europe. You can be like, oh my god, thank
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: god Ve text me and reminded me I haven't transferred.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, but it's more likely to happen, So then
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: you can share how much you saved that week, or
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: like you swap tips for skipping takeout, or imagine you
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: wanted to go out and we both suffering. I don't
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: know if that's the right way to put it, put whatever,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: but I'm like, oh, Beck, like I haven't saved anything
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: this week and I was meant to go out. Maybe
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: I should say no, And you go, oh my god,
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to do the same thing. We're
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: both wallowing in our own sadness together and it's gonna
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: be successful.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: I agree.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: It makes me feel better that you are not able
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: to go out either because like so cold. But know,
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: when you're accountable to one another makes it so much
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: harder to like slack off and then keeps you motivated.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Plus you're gonna celebrate wins and you're probably gonna have
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a laugh over some setbacks, making
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: the journey a lot more fun. And like when you
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: finally achieve it together, you're like, yeah, we did this,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Like can you believe it? Like do you remember you
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: can be sary? We were so bad at this, but
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: we still did it. Like we're so proud of ourselves.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: This idea of accountability and I guess support is one
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: of the biggest reasons why I started cheese on the money.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: So hard to do money when you're doing it on
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: your own.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's very true.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Text me and be like, b I bought a Palmer
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: and I'd be like, oh my god, I actually went
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: out and I bought the sweet treats and.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: Oh makes you feel good. You're like, Okay, well I'm not.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not that bad. But both of us, maybe next
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: week we're gonna have to cut back on coffee because
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: like we really need to bump that up because this
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: week we're both a bit naughty. You're more likely to
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: do those small goals settingtivities then you are to not.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: And I think it's all of the small, tiny things
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: along the way. Like I didn't even know I could
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: put an alarm in my phone that says every week
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: at like six pm on a Wednesday, text Beck about
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: Europe Savings. Yeah, and then you're like, oh, okay, Like
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: and then you text and you're like, oh my god. Yeah, Actually,
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: I've been thinking about that, Like small things that push
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: you in the right direction. What does that go back
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: to beck automation. So it's not just automating your direct debts,
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: it's putting calendar reminders in, it's trying to keep accountable.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: It's making those relationships part of the framework, and that's
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: going to help.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: I love that when I put like an alarm on
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: and I've labeled it something, I even get stressed at
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: the thought of my old self telling me my now
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: self to do this thing. So even if you just
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: have like some sort of automation where you're like your
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: phone's buzzing, it's reminding you to send two dollars to
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: your savings, it's like, okay, I'm going to do it.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: Just leave me alone.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Please stop it.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: I genuinely am feeling so motivated to set my own
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: Newyear's goals. I just feel like you've had some effect
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: on ev I hope.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: So, because I've been drying really hard. It is. And
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's a secret that I am a
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: goal setting girl, like I am kind of like a
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: bull with a red flag, like I'm going to go
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: for it. But I also have the privilege of having
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: a background in psychology, so I have learned a long
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: my career and my journey what it actually takes to
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: turn goals from which we're thinking into something real and
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: something relatable. And it's all about kind of understanding how
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: you're wired and then working with that because goal setting
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: for lots of different people doesn't work, and you need
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: to find a framework that works for you. I have
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: been very open I have ADHD And maybe you're like, oh, V,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: that sounds insane, Like I don't need calendar reminders, I
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: don't need direct debits. I don't need, you know, to
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: put an alarm in my phone to remember these things.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Good for you better at it than I am. But
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: a little tools and tips and tricks that I've learned
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: along the timeline that have helped me be successful, and
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: I'm hoping that they might be able to help you.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Neurotypical or neurodiverse, it doesn't matter. But like sharing is
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: going to mean that you've got something else to ponder,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: and you might go, that doesn't work, throw that out.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: But this other tip and trick that I learned because
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about that is going to work.
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: We're all heading in the right direction. Well for you
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: like a perfect mix of hyphperman and strategist.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: You just got me a strategist. That's very exciting. And
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to do a little bit of a
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: shameless plug here please because it's twenty twenty Thrive and
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: last year I released the Best Year Yet course. Do
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: you remember when I did that and it was wildly
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: popular and I didn't realize. I just thought it would
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: be really fun to do like a full goal setting
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: and motivating session with the community, and then it kind
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: of extrapolated out into a whole course over a number
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: of weeks, and I've decided to bring it back this year. Yeah.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: So I designed it to help literally anybody, so whether
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: you are like saving or you're paying off debt, or
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: you just want to go to the gym. More, it's
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: about setting realistic goals and then sticking to them with confidence.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: And then I'm your accountability partner, and I think so
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: many of us don't have accountability partners, and like, I
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: get very excited that you might want me to be yours.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: I'm not just going to help you set goals. I'm
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: going to teach you why, how, what, when where. I'm
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: also going to go through the psychology of your personal
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: values and the life that you want to create. And
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: it can be a little bit confronting, but we're even
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: going to talk about what's been holding you back. Then,
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: after I've taught you all of that and we've gone
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: through that content, because it's actually a bit of a
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: chunky course, I then pair that with I guess you
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: could call it some deep work with stacks of actionable tips.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Because I wanted everything to be super useful. It's also beckside. No,
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: it's super aesthetic. I got my graphic designer to make
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: all of your activity sheets and all the course. Like,
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: I didn't just draw this on and and then be like, oh,
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: here is a good idea. My graphic designer has made
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: this look so slay, but it helps to break big
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: goals into really manageable steps, helps you to stay accountable
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: and make sure that you have a very clear path
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: towards being successful. I have just started reading all of
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: the feedback from the people that did this course in January.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: So many of them are like, oh my god, without this,
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have achieved it. Without this, I will purchase
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: my house, I got out of debt. Like, there are
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: so many good stories, which is why I was like,
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: we have to do it again. So it's basically everything
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: that you need to make twenty twenty five your best
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: year yet. Yeah, lovely thrive in twenty twenty five. That's lovely.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: Well honestly sounds like they go up. We all need.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: So if you're ready to finally join the elusive eight
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: percent I am who actually crush their new year's goals,
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: head to our website or hit the link in our
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: show notes.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Oh I love it. Happy twenty twenty.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: Five, Guys, Happy twenty twenty five.
• 41:00
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• 41:03
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• 41:07
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• 41:10
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• 41:14
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