Latest / Inside The Consulting Room - Understanding the Child Behind the Behaviour / Leaving The One Way Street Teaser

Transcript

Leaving The One Way Street Teaser · Inside The Consulting Room - Understanding the Child Behind the Behaviour

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is a teaser for the series Leaving the One Way Street.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's a true story, but the characters have been changed in order to protect identities.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Some elements of the story have been slightly modified.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a sample.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Adriana was a music therapist and she came to see me following a recommendation for her GP.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: She had fallen into a state of depression and self-loathing.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't take long for me to realize that her depression was a form of inverted anger and rage.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: She was a very sensitive woman, very capable, very able, and very respected.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And she'd fallen into this depression after leaving a five-year relationship with Chris.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And she described how in the early days he would take every opportunity to contact her.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Frequent phone calls, text messages, littered with declarations of love, and she felt cherished.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Her entire world was consumed by him, and it was as if she had breathed him into her world.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it was as if he had reciprocated.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Looking back, she recalled that it was as if he threw himself at her and she just couldn't resist.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: She became desperate to see him, to hear his voice.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: He gave her meaningful, thoughtful little gifts, and he began to confide in her about different things, treating her in a way that she'd never experienced before.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: But he spoke about his ex wife with great vitriol, citing how she had been the victim of domestic abuse, apparently, but then inflicted that upon him.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: He described her as a narcissistic woman, and he gave many accounts, and in truth, the woman sounded completely evil.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: But Adriana never questioned the authenticity of these accounts.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, she would respond with care, concern, and affirmation.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: But all the while her desire to try and rectify this poor man's experiences, albeit unconsciously, underpinned her reactions.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: But there were moments she realized in retrospect that these were portentous red flags, but such is the way of love, or that which masquerades as love.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always attracted to the bad ones, he said.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can't cope with the nice ones and their kindness, and eventually they make my skin crawl.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: She interpreted this as openness, Chris's ability to have insight into his pattern of behavior.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: But in addition, he spoke frequently about conflicts, being treated unfairly by people, and those people who had abandoned him, and those who just disappeared.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And yet still she didn't read the signs.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if anything, she redoubled her efforts, and those efforts were not just emotional.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: He was a very busy professional, and she would make food for him.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: She would freeze and deliver it to his house whilst he was at work.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: She would run errands, collect his medication, run all manner of small, seemingly unimportant errands, but always at short notice.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: She'd even rearrange her schedule in order to accommodate this man's needs.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Essentially she began to live his life, but at the expense of her own.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: One of her good friends said to her, You love this man very much, that's clear.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: But what's in it for you?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: By this time Chris had become less and less available.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: The tone of his messages lacked the meaning they once held.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't see her, but he did phone her every day.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: But the interesting thing about those phone calls was that he never asked how she was and instead spoke only of his latest drama.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, still, even with a growing sense of mistrust emerging, she remained constant.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Constant is an important word.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And he exploited that shamelessly.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: More will follow.