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The Road To Healing Binge Habits & Emotional Eating With Amber Romaniuk · Fit Womens Weekly Podcast

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) What's up, you guys?
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Welcome to a brand new episode of the
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fit ones weekly podcast.
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I'm going to keep this intro short and
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sweet because I'm so excited to be joined
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by a guest today.
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You know, sometimes I have guests.
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Sometimes I do my own solo thing, but
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today we are joined with an amazing woman
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who is a binge eating expert, emotional eating
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expert, digestion hormone expert.
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And she is the woman behind the body,
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free body freedom method.
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So we're going to talk all things, binge
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eating, emotional eating, and figure out what we
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can talk and share with you guys to
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make it a little bit easier because we've
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all been there from time to time.
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So today I'm joined by Amber Romaniac.
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Did I say that right?
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Kind of.
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Yeah, we've had this before guys.
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Yeah, it's okay.
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I've had all kinds of renditions from romantic
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to Roman chuck to Roman yak.
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Like it's, it's a fun last name to
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try and pronounce.
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And yeah, I'm so excited to have her
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on the show too, because we've been trying
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to get this podcast together for about a
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month and a half now.
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So now that it's come together, I'm like,
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yes, let's talk.
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Yeah.
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Thank you for having me.
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I'm really excited to be with you.
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Absolutely.
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So Amber, first off, I just love to
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share a little bit of your own journey.
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I know that on your website, you shared
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how you've lost over a thousand pounds over
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your lifetime.
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You spent $50,000 on food because of
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binge eating habits.
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So I'd love to hear a little bit
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about your story and how that got you
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to where you are today.
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Yeah, totally.
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So I'll keep it as brief as possible,
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but to give some key points along the
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way, because I think this starts to help
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people build awareness of where did I even
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pick up the habits of binge eating, emotional
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eating, food addiction, people pleasing, body image issues,
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like whatever's going on for you.
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And so when I was five, what I
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would call one of my defining moments at
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that time was it was my first day
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taking the bus to school.
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My family just moved out to an acreage.
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And so I was pumped to get on
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the bus, make new friends, I get on
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the bus and immediately the older boys call
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me fat and ugly.
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And then the whole bus is making fun
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of me.
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And I was absolutely just in shock.
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And it's crazy how those things stick with
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you.
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Oh, yeah.
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And I think this is the thing is
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people don't realize.
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And as a child at that age, I
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didn't realize, but that was a trauma.
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Like I was so shocked and I had
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no idea how to just brush that off.
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And I took on that identity of fat
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and ugly for the next 20 years of
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my life and became very insecure in my
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body, didn't want to talk to boys or
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have boys that were friends because they're all
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really mean from that experience.
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And so that really fueled the body image
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and the insecurity.
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And then I am an only child.
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And my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis
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before I was born.
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And so I think there was a lot
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of like unconscious trauma around just watching your
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mother, who you idolize decline and like lose
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control of her body for your whole life,
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even in young childhood.
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It's such a hard experience to go through
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and like witnessing her crying and being afraid
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and hearing her say how much she hated
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herself and her body all the time.
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And she struggled with food addiction.
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And I realized that once I healed my
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own and overweight and body image issues and
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like very insecure and I can't blame her
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like being diagnosed, that would be one of
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the worst things to be diagnosed with.
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Do you feel like that also made you
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grow up faster than you?
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Oh, yeah.
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100%.
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So I felt like I had to become
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an adult at a young age.
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And I felt like because I didn't want
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to be a burden to my parents and
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add more stress to their plate of what
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they're already dealing with, I just held everything
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inside like I don't want to be a
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burden.
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So I'll just compartmentalize.
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And so I think obviously over time that
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all accumulates.
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And then in my tweens, I start like
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dieting and absorbing like Hollywood in the media.
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And I grew up in the era of
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like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, like these
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tiny little stick thin figures.
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And you start comparing yourself and going, what's
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wrong with me and my body?
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How come I don't look like that?
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And then you start trying to search for
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the desperation solution, which is the fake diet
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narrative that we're sold that doesn't work.
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Hydroxic, that was my era as a 15
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year old.
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Oh, yeah.
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I remember that.
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And like the Atkins diet and like the
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LA weight loss and just all this stuff.
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And then I started binge eating really heavily
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into my early 20s.
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So I had a bad breakup, could barely
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eat because I wasn't hungry because I was
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so hurt and I lost weight really quickly.
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And it was like a big kick to
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my ego.
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I'm like, oh, I'm going to reach my
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goal weight.
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I'm going to look perfect.
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It's going to fix everything because the weight
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loss industry is like, yeah, once you lose
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weight, you'll finally be happy.
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And that's such a lie.
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It doesn't fix anything.
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So I reached my goal weight and nothing
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got better.
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And I lost my period and I became
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more critical of myself.
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And then the first memorable binge I had
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was going to a party.
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And I remember it was always the mentality.
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I'm just going to eat the salad I
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brought.
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I'm not eating anything else because I don't
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want to lose weight or gain weight or
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anything like that.
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And so I ate the salad.
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But then I'm like, oh, I really want
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ice cream cake.
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So I had a piece of ice cream
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cake and it triggered the very first like
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all or nothing where it was like, I
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shouldn't have had that.
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No, who cares?
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Like screw it.
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I'm going to just eat whatever I want.
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More ice cream cake, a burger.
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I took the whole chocolate bar off the
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table.
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That was for s'mores around the fire later
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and went in the bathroom and ate it.
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And then I'm like, oh, my gosh, I
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feel so ashamed.
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And I left the party, got fast food
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on the way home and until I was
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so full, I was sick.
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And then the next morning woke up like
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bloated puffy, like so much embarrassment, shame.
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And I was like, I need to go
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to the gym for three hours today and
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skip breakfast and lunch.
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And like that really triggered the heavy restriction
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over exercise.
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And then, of course, that being unattainable, lose
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control and binge and eat like tables full
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of food.
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And then I gained about 80 pounds in
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four months.
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And then I was the heaviest that I
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had ever been.
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And there's a lot of shame and embarrassment
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that comes along with that.
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Right.
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Like feeling unrecognizable, being afraid of being judged.
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I was treated so differently by men when
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I was thinner versus gaining all that weight.
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It's wild to see how people treat people
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differently, which is not OK.
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But then I just was like binge eating
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five or six nights a week, hence the
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$50,000 on binge food in five years,
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because I was going to the organic store
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and spending like 50 to 80 dollars a
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night on binge foods.
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But it's organic, so it's.
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Exactly.
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It's OK, because it's organic.
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It's a better choice.
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It's like, no, I don't care how good
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of the quality of food is that you're
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eating.
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If you're eating like 12 muffins or like
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a whole table full of food, like it's
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so destructive on your body.
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And then I went to an organic group
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kind of just started coming out like when
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we got a whole foods here.
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I remember my dad buying a cake.
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I was in high high school at the
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time.
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And when he bought a cake at Whole
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Foods and brought it home and he was
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like, it's OK, because it's from Whole Foods.
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Yeah, it was such a learning curve for
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society at the time.
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100 percent.
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I know.
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And that's what I found, like, as I
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started binge eating, I'm like, oh, these are
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organic.
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Like, it's OK.
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And I didn't even know how to read
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the ingredients or anything.
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Right.
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So and then I'm wondering why I'm bloated
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after I have these four ginger snap cookies.
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I'm like, why?
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They're organic.
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It shouldn't cause any issues.
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So then I went through bulimia for six
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months because I was trying to purge to
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prevent the weight gain.
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Like, oh, if I purge, I just won't
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gain weight.
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But obviously, that's really hard on every aspect
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of your body and your being and just
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makes it easier to gain weight.
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And I stopped doing that because I was
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like, I don't want to end up with
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cardiac issues and I need to take ownership.
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And so if I'm going to binge, I
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need to own that and not think that
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I can just get rid of it through
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that behavior.
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So I stopped that.
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What was your aha moment?
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Because so many women that do go through
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an eating disorder of any sort don't just
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wake up one day and say and have
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that clarity.
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Yeah.
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Well, I kept binging after I stopped purging.
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So it was like, I think for me,
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it was two things.
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The first thing was I don't want to
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end up having a heart attack at 25
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or like cause such serious health issues through
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purging.
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Like, I knew it was so wrong, but
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you get addicted to it.
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You get a dopamine high when you do
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it.
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You feel relief when your stomach empties.
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You feel in some form of control, even
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though you're out of control.
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But I think the concern of the serious
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health issues that I could create for myself
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if I kept doing it were one of
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the things that turned me off of it.
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And like I said, the other thing was
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I don't know how to deal with this
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yet, but I am going to take ownership.
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And so if I binge and I'm uncomfortable,
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I'm not going to go purge.
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I have to own the fact of the
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choice that I just made.
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And that is a big part of what
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helped me stop the purge.
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I mean, I help so many women and
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stop binging and purging.
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And I think one of the biggest things
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is helping them stop the binges, but also
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helping them understand like this is a full
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lack of ownership and responsibility.
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And I am purging thinking that I'm not
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going to have to deal with the consequences
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of the fullness, I'll prevent gaining weight.
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But like, there are such serious consequences to
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not only binging, but then purging after that
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and not taking any ownership, responsibility or looking
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at what we're doing.
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And obviously there's trauma and there's nervous system,
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dysregulation and a steep desire for control.
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And we have to address those layers as
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we go.
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But for me, I kept binging for a
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couple of years.
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And it just was this slippery slope.
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And my low point moment, which helped me
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get on the healing journey, was I was
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now aware that I was binge eating and
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I was laying on the couch in pain
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after a binge.
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And I was just laying there in tears
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thinking like, I don't think I'm going to
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make 30 if I keep doing this to
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myself, because not only am I physically self
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-sabotaging and being so destructive with my body,
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but my negative self-talk, my self-hatred,
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my self-loathing, the way I'm speaking to
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myself and treating myself like that's just as
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unhealthy for your health as it is to
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be in those, you know, binge eating behaviors.
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And both of them kind of feed each
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other, right?
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Oh, it's hard to get out of that
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hole.
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Totally do.
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And and you can eat really well.
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But yeah, and you can eat really well
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and be really mean to yourself and be
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really critical and judgmental and harsh toward yourself
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with your thoughts.
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And that is just as detrimental to your
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health.
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And so I was laying there in pain,
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just so full, so uncomfortable in tears.
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And I always throw the food in the
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garbage can because I'm like, as if I
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would ever go and eat through the garbage.
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Like, I would never stoop to that level.
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And about an hour later, after the food
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settled, I call it the inner critic, the
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ego mind was like, well, if this is
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the last time you're going to do this,
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right?
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How many of us have been like, this
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is the last time diet starts tomorrow.
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I'm going to clean this all up tomorrow
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and take care of it.
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This is it.
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Right.
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Let's do it.
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Right.
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Like, this is the last time I'm going
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to do this.
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I might as well like finish the food
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off because then I'm not going to be
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able to eat this for a while because
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I'm going to be back and like trying
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to gain control mode.
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And so I went into the kitchen, pulled
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out my blue garbage can, dug through, pulled
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out the cookies specifically.
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They were Oreos and I ate them.
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And then I went out in the dumpster
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in the back alley and threw them out
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there because I didn't finish them.
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And then I went out later into my
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dumpster in the back alley of my apartment
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and pulled the cookies out and ate them
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again.
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And I did that a couple more times
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with like cupcakes and stuff.
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And I was like, oh, my gosh, who
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am I?
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How the hell did this end up to
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be my life?
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I don't understand why I'm at such a
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frickin' low point.
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I'm alone.
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I'm overweight.
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I'm unhealthy.
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I have red balance in my bank account
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in the negative all the time.
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I just ate it in my dumpster.
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Like, how the hell did this become my
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life?
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I literally was like shocked and dumbfounded and
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the shame, guilt, embarrassment, like all the negative
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emotions all at once.
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But I needed that to happen because it
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was like all this denial.
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I was in such denial that what I
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was doing wasn't a big deal when it
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was such a big deal.
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But I think what happens when you get
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in these behaviors, they become familiar and comfortable.
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Even though you're suffering and it's not serving
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you, it's what's familiar and comfortable.
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And the brain, specifically the amygdala in the
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brain, which is your fight or flight center,
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likes you to be in comfort.
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And when you think about trying to do
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something different, right?
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Going to be unknown.
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Who would I be without food?
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Right?
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I don't know who I'd be without that
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being such a big part of my identity.
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If I wasn't chasing them around the scale,
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that's scary and uncomfortable.
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And the amygdala recognizes discomfort as a threat
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to your survival.
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So it will try and keep you in
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what is comfortable and familiar, even if it's
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not good for you.
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So that moment like crushed the denial, crushed
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my comfort zone and the fear of change.
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And it was like the suffering is now
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so big.
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I cannot afford on any level to not
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do something about it.
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So I got on the healing journey.
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I healed myself.
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I did not get help.
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I had one poor experience with a psychologist
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who I just felt very judged.
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I told her about everything I just told
11:46
you for the first time.
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And she's like, just don't go to the
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store and buy the food.
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Just love yourself.
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And I'm like, you know, we can't have
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to still eat.
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You know, like that's the thing about addiction
11:54
when it comes to food.
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Like with some things you can take it
11:57
out of your life, you know, and take
11:59
it out of your circle with food.
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You have to eat to survive.
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So it's not as if you can just
12:03
stop eating.
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No, you can't stop eating.
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And it's so much bigger than the food.
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And so after that happened, I was triggered
12:09
to go binge them.
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Like, I need to figure this out myself.
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I don't know what it's going to look
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like.
12:12
I have no knowledge, but I'm going to
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figure it out.
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And so I got on the journey.
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It was very physical, emotional, energetic, even spiritual.
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It was very healing.
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And I'm happy to just pause there and
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like, if you want to go into any
12:24
of the snippets of the healing, I'm happy
12:25
to.
12:25
But that's what got me on the journey.
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But I knew nothing that I know now.
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Like, I literally went to school to become
12:31
like a entertainment reporter and then a PR
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person.
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Like, this was not on my radar, but
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I'm so grateful that I got rerouted.
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What was part of your healing journey?
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What was the first thing that you did
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after you went to the therapist?
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You're like, this isn't any help.
12:46
Did you start journaling?
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Did you start clean?
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Did you clean out your kitchen?
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What were kind of some of your first
12:51
steps?
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So, and how, how I did it is
12:54
not how I do with my clients because
12:56
everyone is different and needs a bit of
12:57
a different approach.
12:58
So I just like to say that right
12:59
away.
13:00
But what I was curious about right off
13:02
the bat was sugar because I'm like, I
13:03
can offer the life of me.
13:04
Just eat a little bit of sugar and
13:06
like go away from it.
13:07
Like I start and I can't stop.
13:08
So I started researching about sugar and I'm
13:10
reading and learning that it's like 10 times
13:12
more addictive than cocaine.
13:13
It's giving me a drug like high, like
13:16
other hard drugs.
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And I'm like, oh my gosh, no wonder
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I keep losing control.
13:21
And then I started learning about how sugar
13:23
feeds candida.
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And I was working at a health clinic
13:25
at the time where they had tested me
13:27
for that, which is unhealthy overgrowth of different,
13:30
you know, fungal and things like that and
13:32
large intestine.
13:32
And it makes you crave sugar like crazy
13:35
and it feeds candida.
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And then I started learning about wheat and
13:39
dairy because I'm like, how come when I
13:40
eat a piece of cheese, I want to
13:41
eat the whole block.
13:42
How come when I eat a piece of
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bread, I want to eat the whole loaf
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like I was deep and I know not
13:46
everyone was eating to the volume that I
13:49
was, but it was just this full loss
13:50
of control all the time.
13:52
And so I started cleaning up my eating
13:53
first actually.
13:54
I started swapping process sugars for natural.
13:58
I started trying gluten-free alternatives, dairy-free
14:01
alternatives.
14:02
But what was interesting about it was as
14:04
I started to change the way that I
14:05
ate, I still wanted to binge on like
14:08
10 bananas in a jar of natural peanut
14:09
butter or like 10 gluten-free muffins that
14:12
I would make or like whatever, just like
14:14
10 apples, a whole bag of cashews.
14:16
Like I still wanted to binge and I
14:18
was.
14:19
And that's when I had to get really
14:21
honest with myself that this is so much
14:22
bigger than the food.
14:23
Yes, afraid to feel my emotions.
14:25
I don't like myself.
14:27
I'm deep in self-hatred.
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I have no healthy ways to cope.
14:30
I don't know what's triggering me and I
14:32
feel very unworthy.
14:33
So maybe those are the things actually that
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I need to face and start dealing with
14:36
it.
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So that's what I started to do.
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So that's when I started exploring different self
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-care practices, journaling, meditation, breath, EFT tapping, more
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time in nature, walking, yoga, baths, reading, reading
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lots of self-help books and like starting
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to feel more empowered with my mindset, starting
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to give myself permission to feel my emotions.
14:52
It was freaking terrifying the first time.
14:55
I literally had convinced myself if I feel
14:58
my emotions, like the world's gonna crack in
15:00
half.
15:00
Like it's something that's gonna happen.
15:02
So I was like, okay, put on a
15:03
timer for 30 seconds and just try feeling
15:05
through something before you go to food.
15:07
And the first time I did it, it
15:09
was a confidence booster.
15:10
It was like, wow, nothing bad happened.
15:12
Oh my gosh, I just felt, right?
15:13
So have this belief in yourself that you
15:15
can actually like build some momentum.
15:17
And then I started learning about what was
15:19
triggering me.
15:20
So I started a list of emotional and
15:21
binge eating triggers, whether it was like after
15:24
an epic failure and I binge and then
15:25
had to reflect on it afterwards.
15:27
So starting to dedicate time after binging and
15:30
going, what happened?
15:32
Why did this happen?
15:33
We must be willing to dedicate time to
15:35
look at what's happening, to shift it and
15:37
overcome it and build awareness.
15:38
And then I put that list of triggers
15:41
in every room in my apartment because I'm
15:43
like, I know I have the list, but
15:45
in the moment when I'm triggered, I forget.
15:47
And then I'm like out the door going
15:48
to the store to buy the food.
15:49
And so the list was the visual reminder
15:51
before you just go binge, let's look at
15:54
what's triggering you and understand the triggers so
15:56
that you can start shifting them.
15:58
And so that really helped me build a
15:59
lot of momentum, self forgiveness, inner child healing,
16:04
as well as catching negative self-talk and
16:06
learning how to manage my inner critic and
16:08
this was over a couple of year period
16:11
of time.
16:11
So I wasn't doing all this in a
16:12
month, like this stuff takes time.
16:14
And so all of these changes and catching
16:16
negative self-talk and shifting to apology and
16:18
forgiveness, complimenting myself, affirmations, reprogramming all the negative
16:22
self-talk so that I could start to
16:24
believe in myself and feel worthy and love
16:26
myself, it takes time to reprogram that subconscious.
16:29
And as I did all of those things,
16:31
I stopped binge eating, I stopped emotionally eating,
16:33
I stopped overeating, I stopped using food as
16:35
a coping mechanism and fully healed myself, sabotage
16:37
with food.
16:38
I learned to love myself and feel worthy
16:41
and honor my body.
16:43
I ditched the, you know, chasing the number
16:45
on the scale and really focused on like
16:48
being grateful that my body gave me a
16:49
second chance after everything I put her through.
16:51
So those are some of the things that
16:53
I did that really helped me break free
16:55
of those behaviors and then came the journey
16:57
of balancing my hormones and learning about all
17:00
that and balancing my gut and my blood
17:02
sugar like I did a number on all
17:03
those things.
17:04
And so learning about all those things were
17:06
very empowering for me because then I was
17:08
able to bring all that into the work
17:09
I do as well as, you know, the
17:11
healing, the relationship with food.
17:12
And then you get into starting a business
17:14
and that's just a whole other level of
17:15
healing and like, you know, different things but
17:18
like you literally don't learn unless you go
17:21
into it.
17:22
So those are some of the key pieces
17:23
that I worked on.
17:25
And I guess one of the last ones
17:26
that I think some of your listeners would
17:29
probably resonate with, maybe even you, but I'm
17:30
a very big empath.
17:32
Like I can feel, I'm very intuitive, I
17:34
can feel everyone's stuff and what I was
17:37
realizing is I was healing as my intuition
17:39
got a lot stronger and my ability to
17:41
feel and tap into people's emotions got stronger
17:44
because that's what happens when you take the
17:46
suppression off of your intuitive gifts and it
17:48
was kind of scary at first.
17:51
And so I had to learn how to
17:52
manage my energy, set good boundaries and not
17:54
take on other people's stuff because otherwise that
17:56
would trigger me to binge because I'm like,
17:58
I don't know with my friend and she
17:59
just dumped all her stuff on me and
18:00
now I feel crappy and I don't want
18:02
to feel like this so I'm going to
18:03
go eat.
18:04
So managing being an empath is also an
18:06
important part of this healing too.
18:08
That is actually one of the hardest things
18:10
for me personally.
18:11
I'm not only an empath, but I'm just
18:13
yeah, I'm an emotional person all around and
18:16
I've been with my husband for 21 years
18:18
and he just came last week and goes,
18:20
you know, even though I've said this over
18:22
and over again, he came to me, I
18:23
was like, hey, I was listening to this
18:24
podcast and they said that women a lot
18:27
of times suffer with this idea that if,
18:29
you know, someone says, oh, I don't like
18:31
this food, they take it as an insult
18:33
that it's their fault that they don't like
18:35
the food or the light bulb is out
18:37
and I say, dang, the light bulb is
18:38
out.
18:38
Somehow you feel it's responsible that the light
18:40
bulb is out and that falls on you.
18:42
I was like, I've been telling you that
18:43
for 20 years and yes, that weighs on
18:46
me in so many different aspects of life
18:48
and as I've gotten older, it's kind of
18:50
the wisdom that just comes with age.
18:52
I have learned to be like, hey, you
18:53
don't like this particular meal.
18:55
That's not an insult to me.
18:56
You're not saying you hate me, go fuck
18:58
off.
18:59
You're saying, you know, it's nothing personal.
19:01
Exactly.
19:02
But that has been so hard and you
19:04
do.
19:04
You want to internalize that and then one
19:07
of the ways that you often deal with
19:08
it is the emotional eating.
19:10
Yeah, a hundred percent or like, you know,
19:13
I found when I was healing, one of
19:15
the things was going to family dinners and
19:17
people being like, what, you're not eating my
19:19
thing?
19:20
Like, why?
19:20
And I'd be like, well, because it gives
19:22
me a stomach ache and I don't want
19:24
to feel poorly and so I just had
19:25
to start being really honest and like, it's
19:27
got nothing to do with you.
19:28
It's like, I'm not willing to put things
19:29
in my body that are going to make
19:31
me feel poorly than when I walked through
19:33
the door.
19:33
But people don't get that because they do,
19:35
they tie their love or their worth to
19:38
cooking or the way they provide something to
19:40
you and then they feel like they're getting
19:41
rejected but that's their own stuff.
19:43
So, exactly.
19:45
One of the things you talk a lot
19:46
about on your site and in your programs
19:48
and in your own podcast is the difference
19:50
between emotional eating versus binge eating.
19:53
What is the difference?
19:54
Because I think at some level, most women
19:56
can identify with both of them.
19:58
And I think that I speak correctly when
19:59
I say a lot of times emotional eating
20:01
can lead to a binge but they are
20:03
not synonymous.
20:05
Yeah, a hundred percent.
20:05
And I think we can start with that.
20:07
What feels like very innocent emotional eating or
20:09
unconscious emotional eating.
20:10
And over time, it can snowball into binge
20:12
eating.
20:12
And so, both emotional eating and binge eating,
20:15
food addiction, bulimia, whatever you want to, whatever
20:17
you're dealing with, they're all stemming from some
20:20
form of like emotional reason for eating, right?
20:23
You're not physically hungry.
20:25
You're reaching for food out of a space
20:27
of emotional comfort, stress, whatever.
20:29
And they're all mechanisms to suppress, numb, avoid,
20:33
check out, shove down emotions, procrastinate, right, taking
20:37
steps.
20:37
So we're using it as a way of
20:39
comfort, coping, but also to numb and distract.
20:41
Celebrate as well for sure, which can turn
20:43
into binge eating a hundred percent.
20:46
And so what I find is really at
20:47
the root again of whether it's binge or
20:49
emotional eating is unworthiness and not feeling good
20:51
enough.
20:51
There is some void within you, some lack
20:53
of self-love that you're trying to fill
20:54
with food that you're never going to fill
20:55
with food.
20:56
And it becomes a punishment whether you're over
20:58
consuming or you're restricting, you're punishing yourself.
21:00
Just like if you're over exercising, you're using
21:02
it as a form of punishment to make
21:04
up for the overconsumption of food.
21:06
But when we start with emotional eating, emotional
21:09
eating could look like you're bored and you
21:11
have a chocolate bar, but you're not actually
21:12
physically hungry.
21:13
You're having a stressful day at work and
21:14
you pull out one of those mini bags
21:16
of chips and you just eat it because
21:17
you're irritated about something.
21:20
It could be that you have, you finish
21:22
your dinner and then you look over at
21:24
your kids plates and you feel guilty because
21:26
your grandma told you you shouldn't waste food
21:27
because they're starving kids and out of guilt,
21:29
you're like, I'm full but I'm going to
21:31
finish what's on their plate and you're ignoring
21:32
your fullness cue.
21:33
But it's guilt that's leading the decision.
21:35
And then where we start to get into
21:36
emotional eating, morphing into a little bit of
21:38
emotional eating over eating is now you're eating
21:40
two or three mini bags of chips.
21:42
You might be eating the whole chocolate bar.
21:44
You're not yet maybe to the point where
21:45
you're fully losing control or you're eating until
21:48
you're so full, you feel so unwell.
21:50
But it's like you're eating and noticing some
21:52
bloating.
21:53
You're eating and noticing discomfort, more guilt, regret,
21:56
frustration, shame, embarrassment, start to kick up post
22:00
emotional eating.
22:01
But again, there's still something emotional.
22:03
Now, there's physical, emotional, energetic.
22:06
There's all kinds of triggers, but they all
22:07
fuel something emotional within you that leads to
22:10
that choice.
22:11
And then where we start to get into
22:12
binge eating is the full loss of control.
22:14
So one of the biggest things that will
22:16
trigger binge eating is the all or nothing.
22:17
So you're in a very perfection mindset with
22:19
food.
22:20
I'm either all in on my diet, my
22:21
eating style, trying to be perfect to gain
22:23
X result, lose weight, heal my gut, whatever.
22:26
And then when I can't attain that because
22:27
perfection is not realistic, you're like, well, screw
22:30
it.
22:30
Fuck it.
22:31
Who cares?
22:31
I'm going to go eat whatever I want.
22:32
And then you make up for a lost
22:34
time.
22:34
You go and eat all the things you
22:35
were restricting.
22:36
You go into rebellion and over-consume, right?
22:39
Or again, because you're in the all or
22:41
nothing, you're like, whatever, it doesn't matter.
22:42
I'll try again tomorrow.
22:43
I'll try again next week.
22:44
The rest of the week is a write
22:45
off.
22:46
And it's just this full overconsumption.
22:49
I think certain ingredients can definitely amplify the
22:51
loss of control with food like processed sugar,
22:54
monosodium glutamate, aspartame, gluten, or dairy for some
22:57
people.
22:58
They literally design food products on purpose to
23:00
make you addicted and to give you a
23:02
massive dopamine high.
23:04
Dopamine is the reward neurotransmitter.
23:06
It makes you feel really good for a
23:08
short period of time.
23:09
And so a lot of women have low
23:11
dopamine and serotonin.
23:12
And that's one of the reasons they end
23:13
up emotionally eating or binge eating and losing
23:15
control because they're chasing that quick high.
23:17
Certain ingredients can trigger the binge eating.
23:18
There's also the mentality of like, I need
23:20
to get all of this out of the
23:21
house today so that I'm not tempted tomorrow.
23:24
So you'll eat the whole box of donuts
23:25
or cookies.
23:26
And again, it's the loss of control and
23:28
thinking today's my day and then tomorrow I'll
23:30
come back on.
23:31
I'm going to eat it anyways.
23:33
I'll just go ahead and eat it in
23:34
one sitting.
23:34
That was always my mentality.
23:37
When I was younger, having to deal with
23:38
my challenges where it was like, I would
23:39
have a bag of, I would be jealous
23:41
because my husband could eat one Oreo and
23:43
make that last a month.
23:44
Right?
23:45
Whereas I was kind of like, here's a
23:47
box of Oreos.
23:48
I'm going to eat them over anyway.
23:49
So I'll just eat the entire box today
23:51
and be done with it.
23:53
100%.
23:53
And then we become our own garbage can,
23:55
thinking that we're better off to eat it
23:57
than to get rid of it or give
23:59
it away while you're healing.
24:01
Because I would rather someone not stuff themselves
24:03
full of cookies or whatever the thing is
24:06
and get rid of it or give it
24:07
away than eat it all and then have
24:09
that detriment to your health.
24:11
Obviously you get to the point where when
24:13
you're fully healed, you can have anything in
24:15
your house and you're not tempted anymore.
24:16
And that's such a freeing place to be
24:17
with that detachment of food and neutrality with
24:20
food where you get to enjoy it.
24:21
But it's no longer what's consuming your mind.
24:23
And I think that's the other piece of
24:24
binge eating and food addiction.
24:26
Your mind is consumed with thoughts of food,
24:28
planning your next binge, planning your next diet,
24:30
the next restriction.
24:31
What's for lunch?
24:32
I got to be careful with my calories
24:33
because I overdid it with breakfast and I
24:36
shouldn't have...
24:37
Like there's just so much analyzation and criticism
24:39
of food.
24:40
I need to lose two pounds this week.
24:42
So I need to be...
24:43
I'm off my weight loss goals and we're
24:44
going on that trip in a month and
24:45
my bathing suit doesn't fit yet.
24:47
So I need to restrict more and then
24:48
like going into the trigger, which is like,
24:50
oh, I had cheese and crackers.
24:52
The day is ruined.
24:52
I'm going to freaking eat whatever I want.
24:54
And then it's just this planning the next
24:56
binge.
24:56
I'm going to get all of these things.
24:58
These are my favorites and it's going to
24:59
be so good.
25:00
And then I think the food addiction is
25:02
this full blown loss of control in the
25:04
sense of like, you're either trying to control
25:06
food with diets and restriction and exercise.
25:09
You're trying to...
25:10
Like you're losing control with food and you're
25:11
planning your binges and it's literally all you
25:13
think about.
25:14
You leave parties to go to binge.
25:16
You make up reasons why you can't go
25:17
visit your family because you know, you probably
25:19
are feeling unwell from the night before.
25:22
You may steal food and eat it.
25:24
I did that, right?
25:25
It's full bone food addiction.
25:26
So those to me are some of the
25:27
different layers of this, but it's all stemming
25:29
from emotional hunger versus physical hunger.
25:33
Now, you may have a blood sugar issue,
25:35
a hormone imbalance, gut issues.
25:38
Those are physical imbalances that will trigger emotional
25:40
eating, right?
25:41
Because our appetite's off, our blood triggers off,
25:43
we're craving more things.
25:44
So there are physical emotional eating triggers as
25:46
well.
25:47
For people that are listening to this going
25:48
like, oh my gosh, I can relate to
25:50
this so much.
25:50
And they're stuck there right now with this
25:52
all or nothing mentality.
25:54
When they're first getting started, do you recommend
25:56
go do a purge of your kitchen, get
25:57
rid of the food triggers?
25:59
Or is there something that they can start
26:00
doing now to start learning moderation?
26:02
What's kind of like that starting step?
26:04
Yeah, I think every person is different.
26:06
And I think that, like I have some
26:08
clients who they don't need to get anything
26:11
out of their kitchen.
26:12
It's a matter of understanding what's triggering them.
26:14
So I always say the first step is
26:16
just being honest with yourself that I am
26:17
dealing with emotional eating now that I'm hearing
26:19
and learning.
26:20
I think I'm actually dealing with that or
26:22
I feel like I am dealing with binge
26:23
eating.
26:24
And so I actually want to start understanding
26:25
what's triggering me because understanding my triggers is
26:28
incredibly important because your triggers are teachers and
26:30
they're trying to show you where you're out
26:31
of alignment.
26:32
Something needs attention or something needs healing.
26:35
So actually starting to write that list of
26:37
triggers, even post emotional eating episode or binge
26:40
start adding to that list and building awareness
26:42
of your triggers.
26:43
And why do you go to food for
26:44
comfort?
26:45
Are you wanting to numb out, check out,
26:47
are you afraid of feeling your feelings?
26:48
I think actually building some awareness around why
26:51
you're doing what you're doing is important to
26:53
do before you just purge the kitchen now.
26:55
I think for some people if you're like
26:56
I would feel a lot safer and more
26:58
comfortable if I got certain things out of
27:01
my house for now to help me gain
27:02
some traction like that's what I did.
27:04
That felt really good for me because no
27:05
matter how many times I brought sugar back
27:07
into the house, how many times we brought
27:08
dairy back into the house while I was
27:09
struggling, I kept losing control.
27:12
And one of the ways I gain traction
27:14
other than what I just mentioned about understanding
27:16
triggers and building awareness was keeping certain foods
27:19
out of the house for a while so
27:20
that it would help me build some momentum.
27:21
So some people that's beneficial for some people
27:23
don't necessarily need to do that or we
27:26
bring alternatives.
27:27
It's never about restriction.
27:28
It's like let's bring in alternatives that will
27:30
replace these things but not give you the
27:32
big addictive dopamine high and the desire to
27:34
want to binge and lose control.
27:35
They'll be supportive of your body.
27:37
You can have anything you want to eat
27:38
but let's improve the quality of the ingredients
27:41
so that you don't eat the whole thing,
27:42
right?
27:43
And then for some women who have more
27:44
of a serious binge eating issue or food
27:46
addiction, there may be a period of time
27:48
where even like baking might not feel comfortable
27:50
because they just know even if they make
27:52
a healthy batch of cookies with like coconut
27:55
sugar and gluten-free flour, they still might
27:56
eat them all and it's because there's so
27:58
many other like the nervous system needs to
28:00
be regulated.
28:01
They need to start a self-care practice.
28:03
We need to get their hormones supported like
28:04
blood sugar.
28:05
There's so many things going on within that
28:08
needs some level of support to start minimizing
28:10
the amount of episodes that are happening.
28:14
So yeah, I'm just sharing a lot of
28:15
scenarios because I think it's going to look
28:17
different for everyone and then the other thing
28:19
I would prioritize is starting to build a
28:21
self-care practice.
28:22
Women feel so guilty and so wrong for
28:25
prioritizing themselves and that should have never have
28:28
been normalized in society.
28:30
Every single one of us deserves to take
28:32
time for ourselves to tend to ourselves, our
28:34
health, our bodies, our emotional needs because how
28:36
are you ever going to stop these behaviors
28:38
if you're running around like a chicken with
28:40
your head cut off not taking any time.
28:43
It's the more dysregulated you are the more
28:44
you're going to seek food for comfort to
28:46
get a break, right?
28:47
So self-care.
28:48
To harm ourselves through more exercise or diet
28:52
versus saying that we deserve to actually treat
28:55
our bodies right with exercise and the right
28:57
foods.
28:58
Yeah, 100% triggers and I'm just kind
29:01
of curious like once you identify them obviously
29:03
like life is life.
29:05
It's going to be hard.
29:06
You're not going to be able to avoid
29:07
the negative triggers in your life forever, right?
29:09
They're going to pop back up.
29:10
So how do you go about just creating
29:11
different reactions to those triggers instead of turning
29:15
to food?
29:16
Even when it comes to nutrition, you have
29:17
two great weeks of nutrition and you're like,
29:20
yes, I've been trying to lose weight.
29:21
I'm down two pounds.
29:23
I'm going to reward myself now with this
29:25
treat.
29:26
It's like that's where our mind instantly goes
29:28
because that's what we've seen in society for
29:29
so long.
29:30
How do we start breaking those habits?
29:32
Yeah, I think one of the first things
29:33
is while you're healing your relationship with food,
29:36
I'd actually encourage you to not focus on
29:37
weight loss because one of the things that's
29:40
triggering the self-sabotage of food is needing
29:41
to chase the number on the scale and
29:43
self-worth because when you build your self
29:46
-worth and you learn how to live more
29:48
on your power, instead of reacting, you're going
29:50
to respond to life and the difficulties and
29:53
discomforts that come your way and I think
29:54
that's the most vital gift you can give
29:56
yourself is learning how to love yourself and
29:58
feel worthy because you can do it.