Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Losing Sight, Finding Strength: Laura Bratton on Resilience, Boundaries, and Empowerment

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Losing Sight, Finding Strength: Laura Bratton on Resilience, Boundaries, and Empowerment · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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  And that all immediately, when I think about it, all circles back
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  to what we started with the self-care.
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  Doing the self-care gives me the strength to live that way.
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  And there was, you were 100% right.
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  There was so many times in that college experience where, well,
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  I used to be excited. Yeah.
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  I would have to weave into every conversation something about
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  that. I used to have full sight even
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  when it didn't apply to the conversation.
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  I would somehow magically like weave it in smooth or not smooth
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  because I felt like that validated.
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  But what you're saying is living as us as we are as deep
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  strength. That's courage and and using
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  self-care got me there. Hello.
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  And welcome to the field podcast.
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  I'm your host, Melissa Crook. I have got a great guest here
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  with me today. We met via my good friends at
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  pod match. You've heard me shout them out
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  before. They've brought me another great
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  story. And I don't want to you overuse
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  the great. But she's tells a story we
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  haven't heard yet here on the platform.
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  And she speaks to an audience of people that there's a lot of
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  misunderstanding around. And there, it's never
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  intentional, but also needs to be spoken to because we need to
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  be very careful about the assumptions we make about
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  people, about the stories we assign to them before we
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  actually know them. And Laura Bratton is going to
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  speak to that today. And you're probably wondering,
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  what is she talking about? Stay with me and you're going to
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  get to hear that. Laura, how would you describe
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  yourself? Not by your roles and titles,
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  but as a person? What are some words you would
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  use to describe? Yourself, The first word that
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  instantly comes to my mind is courageous, Yeah.
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  And I say that because life has brought that upon me to develop
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  that sense of courage as a survival just to navigate the
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  world and continue, continue forward.
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  Yeah, I think that's spot on and we're going to get into what
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  that all means. Welcome my friend to the Field
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  podcast. I'm so thankful.
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  I'm so honored and excited to be here.
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  Good, good, good. Let's get going.
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  Let's start with self-care and taking care of yourself.
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  This has maybe a little bit of a different lens for you than some
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  people, but in some ways it doesn't.
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  Like, I think we over over think sometimes when people deal with
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  other abilities that we don't deal with and we're going to get
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  to what that is in a minute and how it came upon you.
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  They make assumptions about how different our life must be.
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  And yes, it's different, but there's also some things about
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  being a woman in the world, you know, that that aren't
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  different. But we still have to, you know,
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  prioritize our care. And sometimes it looks a lot the
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  same as someone else. So talk to me more about that
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  and speak to whatever it is you feel like will kind of give
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  people an insight into what yourself care journey has been
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  like. So myself care journey is
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  definitely a holistic approach of the mind, the body and the
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  spirit. OK, I can't one without the
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  other. It's not it doesn't feel like
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  self-care. So what I mean by that is I need
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  an exercise workout routine daily, weekly.
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  That's not something I do like just for a season for six weeks,
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  but something that's integrated into just my lifestyle, that's
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  just a part of my being. So it would definitely be
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  exercise, workout, yoga, Pillai's.
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  It definitely be that just on the physical, moving my body,
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  keeping my body healthy, just in balance.
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  With that definitely goes the nutrition.
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  What I found for me is that when I eat a lot of processed sugar,
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  my anxiety goes through the roof.
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  And it I, it is not specifically anxiety about anything.
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  I'm just so jittery. I feel like I want to jump out
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  of my own skin like it just so I only realized that just through
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  trial. I didn't intentionally say, oh,
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  let me lower my anxiety. Let me do this right, lower my
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  anxiety. Just eating better, eating more
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  fruits and vegetables and whole food and less processed.
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  That greatly helped my anxiety. It helped my skin, it helped my
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  sleep. And again, it's not an extreme.
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  Oh my gosh, I could never have ice cream, right?
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  I could never have mint chocolate tip again.
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  That would be terrible. That would not be self-care.
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  But to keep it in balance, Yeah, the nutrition, exercise is a
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  huge part of my lifestyle. And then from the the mindset,
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  so I practice mindfulness and that is so much of myself care
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  of just focusing on am I observing thoughts or jumping
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  into those thoughts assuming those thoughts are absolute
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  permanent reality. Yeah, I love that you touched on
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  that. I think that we treat thoughts
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  as truth without giving a second thought to where they're
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  actually. Coming from where they actually
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  go and they might just be thoughts that we have, right?
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  They really. Yeah, it is not permanent.
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  I thought every thought I had was absolute truth and
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  permanent. Yeah.
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  So when did you realize having this really holistic approach to
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  yourself care was necessary? Was there an epiphany moment or
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  did you have you just kind of always known this was important?
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  Again, it was the pure life experience.
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  So going through the experience of being diagnosed with a rare
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  eye disease and then becoming completely blind as a teenager,
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  that when I realized to keep going, my self-care is not an
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  option. Yeah, it's a must.
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  It's an option if I want to be roller coaster of emotions.
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  We made that clear. But it's not an option if I just
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  want to be in that grounded present foundation.
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  So for me, South self-care, it's really not a choice for my
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  well-being. It's I have to have it in order
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  to create that well-being. So I had the energy to focus on
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  adapting to life without sight in a sighted environment, Yeah.
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  Yeah, so I want to go in, we're going to come back to that and
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  we're going to come back to this revelation that you've just
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  shared in a moment. But I intentionally started the
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  way I did because I wanted you all listeners to hear Laura's
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  self-care practices look like a lot of side, most side, you
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  know, exciting people. Yes.
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  And so I think this idea of this, you know, let's honor the
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  parts that need to be, you know, honored and taken care of and
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  make sure there's safe places and spaces for people that are
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  blind to move through the world. But also, they're people.
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  They're women living everyday lives.
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  With, you know, exact same women.
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  Issues Exactly, exactly. So I thought it was important to
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  point that out. So let's talk about healthy
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  boundaries for you. What did at what point did you
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  realize they were necessary? What's your journey with with
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  healthy looked like because that's kind of a new word we're
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  hearing over the last 10 years. We didn't grow up with that.
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  For me, yeah, I talk about this all the time, geographically
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  speaking, was what how I thought of a boundary like this 100?
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  Percent. That's so true.
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  So for me, it completely circles back to the self-care.
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  When I'm in the self-care practices of the mindfulness,
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  the exercise, the working out, the yoga, the nutrition, the
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  healthy boundaries are more natural.
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  Healthy boundaries don't have to be a rigid rule that I set and
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  never cross. Yeah, when I'm in that
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  self-care, I can hold the boundaries.
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  When I say loosely, I don't mean like the boundaries don't
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  matter. What I mean is I have boundaries
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  and then I can assess each situation differently.
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  So myself care 100% basically are my boundaries just plays
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  into having the healthy, the healthy boundaries of protecting
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  my energy, protecting my emotions, just protecting my
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  grounding, my well-being, my peace.
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  Yeah. I love how you've connected all
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  that so succinctly and this goes nice and you've really already
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  talked about it, but I'm going to ask some questions within it
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  that I think are going to really help our listeners tie together
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  your experience. You've addressed already the
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  knowledge that emotional, mental, physical, spiritual
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  health are connected and your practices that you utilize
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  regularly to tend to all those spaces.
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  It is two different experiences. There are there are those people
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  in the world that are born blind and then there are those people
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  in the world that are diagnosed with some kind of problem or
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  disease or have an accident that brings blindness on later.
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  You lived, you know, your first what, 16 years in the life in a
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  sighted world. It's hard enough being a 16 year
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  old girl in the world on its own and then to get this kind of
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  diagnosis and the and having to accept and embrace this new
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  reality when you're already swimming and all that
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  encompasses being a teenager. How?
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  Talk to me about that impact. Because.
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  That is an emotional, mental, physical health impact if I've
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  ever heard one. The level of grief cannot be put
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  into words. I can't even begin to say that
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  the grief that I experienced because, as you perfectly said,
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  I experienced so much of life with sight.
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  Yeah. So then adjusting to life
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  without sight, the constant grief, the constant loss was a
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  year ago. This was so much easier.
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  A year ago, I could do this task in 5 minutes and I never thought
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  about it while I was doing 14 other things, right.
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  And now this one task I can only do by itself and it takes me an
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  hour and I can't do 14 other things while I'm doing it.
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  So, yeah, the intense grief that the anxiety, the panic attacks
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  that came from that, the depression, I can't quite put
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  into words the depth you have. Yeah.
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  What allowed you to move forward from?
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  This what, what, what the people, the places, the spaces,
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  the tools, the resources. How do you begin to pick up the
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  pieces? And I love that you mentioned
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  the grief. I think grief is something that
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  we try to step away and move forward and move away from when
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  honestly, it's, it's so important to acknowledge it and
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  name it and feel it and allow it to happen and, and not try to
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  push it away because that does more damage than good in the
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  long run. But I think that's such the, the
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  intense, deep grief that comes with this and, and then being
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  able to move forward into this new reality.
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  Talk to me about that moving forward journey.
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  So it was 100% because of my support system.
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  So the level of grief was so intense, yeah, I could not move
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  forward on my own. There.
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  There wasn't just humanly. I didn't have the the bandwidth,
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  energy, the to do all the like normal things and to use the
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  report. It was just way too much.
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  So it's the support around me that empowered me.
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  And I want to make it very clear, it was not through their
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  words, it was through their actions.
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  Because literally when people would say to me, oh, you're so
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  strong, you're so amazing, you're sensor racial, you're
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  doing great. I would literally just take my
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  head like, I don't know who you're talking to.
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  No thanks. It was the actions and what I'm
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  a very practical example of the actions was one example would be
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  my parents who said, yes, this is terrifying.
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  Yes, this is uncertain and all we have to do is focus on today.
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  We don't have where I was. How am I going to live?
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  How am I going to college, However a job, however get
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  married, however, blah, blah, blah, just live.
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  Yeah. And then again, I'm 17, right,
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  Which normally you're asking about a 17 anyway, But I had to
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  add a layer of without sight. My parents would say to me every
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  day, all we have to focus on is today can let's get up, eat
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  breakfast, get to school on time.
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  That's accomplishment. That's a win for the day.
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  That's moving forward. So literally I move forward
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  moment by moment, day by day. And I mean that very, very, very
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  literally. Like I don't mean that day.
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  Oh, moment to moment, you know, I'm sure very, very literally I
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  would be, and I still vaguely remember this, I would be in
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  high school in first period, the first class of the day and
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  think, OK, I'm here, I can do this next hour.
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  All I have to do is get the second period second class like
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  it was that literal taking it moment by moment.
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  And then the the hours LED up into days and the days LED up
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  into weeks and the weeks LED up into months.
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  So it was truly a building block experience.
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  Yeah, yeah. So how did you adapt schooling
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  wise? Because you're mid high school
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  here, Like you're going along doing your thing and all of a
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  sudden you've got this new challenge that, you know,
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  everybody has to kind of respond to, to support you in it.
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  How did that work? So the schooling process was I
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  started to instead of doing art and P and like the
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  extracurricular classes in school, I was working with an
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  instructor, learning Braille, learning how to use a computer
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  with software that reads everything on the screen.
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  So the school part actually wasn't the hard part.
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  The hard part was the emotional mental mindset of now a mother,
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  right? Like now I'm just not a normal
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  teenager in this school about what you said, the grief process
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  of, Oh my gosh, all of a sudden I'm not normal.
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  And that's all a teenage girl wants, yeah.
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  When you're clamoring to find your identity and who you are,
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  and so many times you're just trying to find your people and
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  where you feel safe and all of this and all of a sudden you
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  have this thing, this. Unknown.
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  That that there's not a necessarily a road map for if
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  you're navigating. I love the.
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  Wisdom of your parents though, and understanding the importance
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  of taking one day at a time and being present.
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  And even if they and I having been a parent and raised kids,
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  there's a lot of times as parents you're terrified inside.
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  But you got to show up with the brain if they were.
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  I mean, they'll tell you every single day they absolutely were,
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  but there really wasn't an option, right?
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  What's the choice? Their daughter forward Because I
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  literally to this date, 30 years later, people say my parents, I
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  don't know how you did it then and they just kind of shake
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  their heads and say, but you would do it too if it was your
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  situation. It's just you don't have a
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  choice in the moment. So right, yes, I was deeply
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  grateful and the other gifts they gave me and I'd love to
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  hear this story because as a mom, you'll 100% be able to
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  relate. They didn't change their
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  standards of me. So as I'm in panic, in grief, in
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  depression, they didn't coddle me, obviously.
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  They provided for what I needed. I was.
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  It wasn't that they ignored my needs, but they didn't.
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  Oh, you can just be victim and we'll just take care of you for
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  the rest of you, you know? Oh, that'll be your brother's
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  job for the rest of his life. Take care of you.
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  You know, they have the same standards.
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  They believed in me, but I didn't believe in myself.
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  And the one situation that stands out to me so clearly that
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  this is what you'll understand is a mom.
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  One night in my teenage brain, I thought it was a brilliant idea
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  to get up all my chores at home to say, oh, I'm blind.
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  I can't do those anyway. It's such a teenage move.
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  Don't you think that's a good teenage idea?
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  I'm like, I'm so proud of myself.
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  I'm like, use this to my advantage Exactly, 100% right.
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  Like, oh, mom, never. So one night she I still can
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  like see it, feel it, remember it.
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  She was done letting the dishwasher.
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  You know, it's just like, OK, Laura, dishwasher is done, 2
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  dishes are clean, time to unload the dishwasher.
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  And I said so seriously. So like, I know what I'm talking
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  about. Oh, mom, I can't unload the
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  dishwasher. I'm going blind.
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  And she was in the doorway walking out the kitchen into the
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  hallway. And she's a teacher.
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  Let me preface it with that. So she turned around and looked
• 19:05
  at me and said Laura Bratton, unload the dishwasher and turn
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  to go. Meanwhile my dad is in the den
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  and didn't jump up to my rescue. They heard this.
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  Whole interaction and didn't jump up to save the day.
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  Yeah. And I remember thinking they're
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  the meanest parents on the planet.
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  Like my dad heard everything that was gone.
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  Didn't go to a rescue. My mom just made a blanket and
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  load the dishwasher. Like that's mean.
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  But that was the greatest gift and greatest source of strength
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  they could have modeled to me. Yeah, they empowered you.
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  They empowered me. Because what I realized, of
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  course, I look just roster totally angry.
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  You know, of course I was angry. Like, what plan didn't work?
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  What I realized. They were saying you're so you,
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  yeah, all the forks in the sub aware, you know, all the forks,
• 20:11
  the knobs, the spoons, they might not perfectly be in the
• 20:14
  sub or drawer lined up and even. But that's not the point.
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  The point is with accommodations, you can unload
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  the dishwasher. Yes, it's going to take you
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  longer, but that's just you. That's who you now are.
• 20:28
  We still believe in you, that you can unload the dishwasher.
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  Yeah. So I share that to say in the
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  moment, I thought they were the meanest parents on the planet,
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  Yet that was the greatest source of strength and healing they
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  could have given me because they were literally showing me
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  through their actions. You're so you and you can't use
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  this thing, blindness, as an excuse.
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  Yeah, yeah, they. Still held you accountable, yes.
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  They still have. And if they had said, if my mom
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  said, oh, honey, it's OK, I'll get your brother to do it.
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  Or if my dad had jumped up and said, oh, you just don't need a
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  dishwasher, I'll get your brother to do it.
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  I would have said, oh, my plan is great.
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  This is what I can do for the rest of my life.
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  Yeah, Right. Yeah.
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  I use this blindness as a reason not to live.
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  Yeah, Oh my gosh. Thank you for that.
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  That's such an important story. And I'm, you know, thinking too,
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  that was probably really hard for your parents.
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  I mean, they're probably your dad.
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  Your mom was probably like, what have I just done?
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  But she also. Had the wisdom.
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  To know it was necessary if you were going to live a life.
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  Yes, they'll tell you. They'll both tell you it was gut
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  wrenching. Yeah.
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  They felt mean doing it, right? Right.
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  Absolutely gut wrenching to do it.
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  But they knew there was no other option for me to continue
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  forward. Yeah.
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  Absolutely. OK, One more question about this
• 21:57
  season and then we're going to move forward.
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  So college, did you go on to college?
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  What did you do after high school?
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  So I went to Arizona State and majored in psychology.
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  Wow. Wow.
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  Just. Like any other 18 year old kid,
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  but not just like it, you know, I mean, that's why but the but I
• 22:16
  have to go back to that story, that story, what you shared and
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  their willingness to be like, OK, there's still
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  accountability. You can still live your life.
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  We're going to adjust and move with it, but you're going to
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  learn what's possible for you allowed you to make that
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  decision. Arizona State's one of the
• 22:31
  biggest universities in the country.
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  It's you. There were 7. 1000 people in my
• 22:36
  freshman class. I'm not.
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  Yeah, I think. They have like 70,000 students.
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  When you factor in grad and everything, it's a huge place.
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  It's a, you know, a great school, but a huge place.
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  So just having that ability to go on and do that, this goes
• 22:54
  nicely into living unapologetically.
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  You are doing this. You are are living this
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  everyday. You have moved forward in a way
• 23:05
  that has allowed you to embrace your life, move through your
• 23:08
  life in in a way where you're not apologizing, you're showing
• 23:13
  up every day. And I think that also your
• 23:16
  willingness to Share your story, your willingness to get out
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  there and be a resource for people is how you show up
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  unapologetically. No apologies from me.
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  And also you can live unapologetically too.
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  And let, let and let's work together to ensure you feel
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  empowered to do that. Yes.
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  And that all immediately, when I think about it, all circles back
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  to what we started with the self-care.
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  Doing the self-care gives me the strength to live that way.
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  And there was, you were 100% right.
• 23:52
  There was so many times in that college experience where, well,
• 23:56
  I used to be excited. Yeah.
• 23:59
  I would have to weave into every conversation something about
• 24:02
  that. I used to have full sight even
• 24:05
  when it didn't apply to the conversation.
• 24:07
  I would somehow magically like weave it in smooth or not smooth
• 24:11
  because I felt like that validate.
• 24:15
  But what you're saying is living as us, as we are as deep
• 24:23
  strength, that's coverage and and using self-care got me
• 24:29
  there. I love that.
• 24:33
  I love that. And and so when you chose your
• 24:36
  major, how much of that was connected to your experience or
• 24:40
  was that a road you always wanted to go down?
• 24:43
  Both. It was always a road I wanted to
• 24:45
  go down that I just I naturally felt that that helper profession
• 24:52
  to learn how our mindset works. And I was just always that
• 24:56
  person that people would come to and tell all their problems.
• 24:58
  Like what do I do about a 12 year old?
• 25:00
  What I don't know, I'm 12, you know, but I loved it.
• 25:04
  I thrived it. It wasn't that was weird to me.
• 25:07
  That was just natural. So it was both where I wanted to
• 25:10
  go and then also because of my life experience, I became
• 25:14
  fascinated with how do we heal when we experience major
• 25:18
  adversity? Yeah.
• 25:20
  Yeah, yes. And, and, you know, we all are
• 25:23
  going to face some kind of adversity in our lives.
• 25:27
  And yeah, I mean, it's just part of the human experience.
• 25:32
  Wow, wow. So talk to me about what it
• 25:35
  means to you to live unapologetically.
• 25:38
  I've given examples of what it looks like from me looking at
• 25:42
  your life, but what does it feel like for you?
• 25:45
  For me it means being comfortable in my own skin.
• 25:50
  It means accepting I am who I am and and just in the story.
• 25:59
  Not trying to justify or like you said apologize or explain.
• 26:07
  Just being comfortable in my own skin.
• 26:10
  This is my new normal. This is who I am and other what
• 26:15
  I quickly realized and learned. I can't control how other people
• 26:20
  respond to me. And and the fascinating part,
• 26:26
  this has been my own little like psychology study, just life
• 26:30
  experience study. When I'm comfortable in my own
• 26:33
  skin, people are more comfortable talking to me.
• 26:38
  They're more comfortable in their situation.
• 26:42
  I can't tell you the number of people that have said to me,
• 26:45
  wow, you just put me at such ease in myself.
• 26:50
  Wow. And all I did was become from a
• 26:52
  long body. Like it wasn't like I said some
• 26:55
  magical words or phrase or it wasn't like I said anything.
• 27:02
  It was just me. Being comfortable in my own skin
• 27:05
  gave them permission to be comfortable in their own skin.
• 27:10
  I love that. And it really is an example of
• 27:12
  when we show up authentically and organically as ourselves,
• 27:18
  taking good care of ourselves, honoring ourselves in that way,
• 27:21
  it truly opens up space. There's an energy that exists.
• 27:25
  There is. And truly, I mean, I can't put
• 27:28
  that energy into words, but it's my true lived experience and,
• 27:32
  and other people around my family, my friends, they see it
• 27:36
  all day long. Like, Oh my gosh, we can't.
• 27:38
  I mean, just a joke in my feel like, Oh my gosh, we can't go
• 27:40
  anywhere with someone. Just like walking up to you and,
• 27:42
  and talking to you and telling you they're deep, dark, like
• 27:45
  secrets and problems and fears is like people are just
• 27:49
  naturally attracted to that energy of what you're saying.
• 27:53
  That openness, that safety, that openness.
• 27:56
  I'm comfortable here. So you can be comfortable here
• 27:59
  too. Yeah.
• 28:00
  And I think it shows how much we crave that to that we're so
• 28:04
  drawn to people that offer that offer.
• 28:07
  That well, very well said, very well.
• 28:10
  Because again, it's not like I'm like, OK, we're all I'm
• 28:13
  comfortable with my skin. You'll all come to me, right,
• 28:16
  Right. It's not like I'm thank you for
• 28:18
  saying that because that made me realize it's not that I'm
• 28:21
  advertising it. It's not that I'm promoting
• 28:25
  everyone come to me. I'm come from my own skin.
• 28:27
  I'll teach you. Like it's not about me talking
• 28:31
  about it, It's about me being in it.
• 28:35
  Yeah. Oh, that was so good.
• 28:37
  Oh my gosh. And and that really leads nicely
• 28:40
  into and I think you've already really spoken to this in a way,
• 28:44
  but talk to me about really connecting with your why and
• 28:48
  your values behind what you're due and how that sets the.
• 28:54
  Kind of the. Calendar for you what you say
• 28:55
  yes and no to it really feeds into healthy boundaries.
• 28:59
  But talk to me about that why and values journey that really
• 29:02
  gets you up every day. So for me, the why and the value
• 29:09
  very much came again from just my natural tendencies but also
• 29:15
  my life experience. So.
• 29:17
  As again, as I became comfort my own skin and was able to move
• 29:24
  forward with confidence, I clearly realized my why was to
• 29:29
  be that empowerment for other people as I had received such
• 29:34
  support that empowered me forward just like the silverware
• 29:39
  situation. I wanted to be that people that
• 29:42
  presents for people in the world.
• 29:45
  As I became clear on that why, that's where you said and that's
• 29:50
  you said it perfectly. That's where the boundaries came
• 29:52
  in because and, and here's what I mean by this and this circles
• 29:57
  back and I'm not doing this intentionally because your
• 30:00
  podcast is real life experience. It all circles back to being who
• 30:05
  we are and the self-care. And what I mean by that is so
• 30:10
  many people want to put me into a box of oh, and I guess because
• 30:17
  of Stevie Wonder. I have no idea why people make
• 30:20
  the assumption everyone assumes I'm a great singer.
• 30:26
  Look, you're flying. You're a great musician.
• 30:29
  I'm like, I'm afraid of singing the shower people.
• 30:35
  Wow. Like, no, there is no singing
• 30:39
  coming out of this person. No, you would not make money for
• 30:43
  that. Let me guarantee you, you make
• 30:45
  money out of the concert hall. So they want to put me in a box.
• 30:51
  Yeah. Oh, and I people literally all
• 30:54
  the time. Also, the only people you work
• 30:56
  with are people who are blind. And the honest truth is, and
• 31:01
  again, this wasn't intentional, I've never worked with anyone
• 31:03
  who's blind. Oh so.
• 31:05
  Interesting that people assume that assume.
• 31:07
  So I'm only saying not to say our why is what we want it to be
• 31:15
  and what our passion is. And that's where boundaries come
• 31:20
  in. It's so easy that our why
• 31:23
  becomes what other people tell us it is.
• 31:26
  Yes. Yes, so.
• 31:28
  If I had listened and I would have been so upset that, Oh my
• 31:34
  gosh, my why is to be a singer? I don't want to be a singer.
• 31:38
  What's wrong with me? Yeah, I have to be a singer.
• 31:42
  So I share that to say that's just a reminder for all of us
• 31:49
  just as as women as humans are, Why is our purpose what drives
• 31:55
  us, not the why that other people assume and try to force
• 32:00
  on us. Yes, yes, and.
• 32:03
  That that is such a perfect segue into living out of your
• 32:07
  own expectations versus others. You're doing that.
• 32:11
  You've done that. I want to go back to something
• 32:14
  you said earlier. You talked about for a while in
• 32:17
  college, you felt like you had to bring up that you were cited
• 32:22
  in whatever situation when you're in.
• 32:24
  When did you realize it was time to release that?
• 32:27
  That you didn't need to connect to that in a in kind of a way
• 32:32
  where you announce it to people that your value and who you were
• 32:37
  and and how you show up in the world did not ebb and flow based
• 32:40
  on people knowing that about you or not.
• 32:43
  It was a series of events. There wasn't one moment where I
• 32:48
  just said, oh, now I don't have to do that anymore.
• 32:52
  Honestly, it was trial and error.
• 32:54
  I would realize when I was just confident and, and just that
• 32:58
  inner calm, inner peace and just had a natural conversation with
• 33:03
  someone and didn't bring up the fact that, you know, I could see
• 33:06
  12 years ago or five years ago or whatever, it was fine.
• 33:11
  I was fine. I actually felt better.
• 33:13
  It actually was more energizing for me.
• 33:16
  I walk away from every conversation emotionally
• 33:20
  exhausted. It's like, wow, that was just
• 33:24
  that actually was energizing and life giving.
• 33:26
  So I share that to say it was just a series of events of
• 33:30
  learning me learning and literally trying out.
• 33:34
  Oh, when I just have a conversation about this calculus
• 33:38
  class we're in or the party we're going to go to at Friday
• 33:41
  night. And that was just actually a
• 33:44
  normal conversation. I didn't have to weave into
• 33:47
  there the fact that I used to could see and then calculus, we
• 33:52
  talked about calculus class or you know, so it was just
• 33:55
  learning that I could have a conversation just about who I
• 33:59
  was in my everyday. I didn't have to circle back to
• 34:02
  the past and it actually was healing.
• 34:05
  It actually gave me more life. It didn't take away from me.
• 34:10
  I love that. So it was a process, yeah.
• 34:14
  And which totally makes sense because, I mean, adapting and
• 34:17
  learning in this new season, it's going to take time, of
• 34:21
  course. I thank you for sharing that.
• 34:23
  Back to the expectations piece, you've defied that.
• 34:26
  You live your life on your terms.
• 34:28
  You've clearly defined your why, your values.
• 34:30
  You know how to what you need to care for yourself and how that
• 34:34
  informs where your healthy boundaries live.
• 34:36
  You've really made this whole lesion of your life and putting
• 34:41
  all these pieces together. What would you?
• 34:45
  Say for for listeners out there, what are some of those
• 34:48
  expectations that people that are sighted kind of invoke on
• 34:53
  the blind community that you're that are just like, what are
• 34:58
  some common things you run into that you would like the world to
• 35:01
  know? Stop doing that.
• 35:05
  That I'm superhuman. Oh yeah.
• 35:09
  Seriously. No, I mean not.
• 35:10
  Literally that I'm just like this superhuman and it's like,
• 35:13
  no, actually, I'm just a human in this human experience trying
• 35:19
  to get through every day, right? Like there's nothing superhuman
• 35:23
  about. It is actually our human
• 35:25
  potential we can all tap into. I have my level of courage, my
• 35:30
  level of resiliency. You can have that same level of
• 35:34
  resiliency, courage, too, in the situation.
• 35:39
  Yeah. I mean, so many people say to
• 35:41
  me, oh, I could never have the strength that you have.
• 35:45
  Yeah. You couldn't.
• 35:47
  Is within you. I don't have a special layer of
• 35:52
  strength because I'm blind, Right?
• 35:54
  Like, right. It's just part of our human
• 35:56
  experience. I've just had to tap into it
• 35:59
  more. Yeah.
• 36:01
  Yeah, life just forced, Yeah. But a lot of times.
• 36:06
  Life forces this in a lot of different ways to tap into that,
• 36:10
  and I feel like you really help people see that, see that it's
• 36:13
  not just blindness or not just this ability.
• 36:16
  I mean life in general. I mean, you can speak from
• 36:18
  raising kids, right? Just the experience of being in
• 36:24
  the world, being in a relationship, being in
• 36:27
  connection with others, we have to develop that strength.
• 36:32
  Yeah, yeah. And we can do.
• 36:34
  It we have it all within us, I think I love that part of just
• 36:37
  that recognition that we have it all within us.
• 36:39
  We all. Have it within us, yes, Yeah.
• 36:42
  Well, and you mentioned layers already, but talk to me about
• 36:45
  this. You know, we talk a lot about
• 36:47
  embracing our layers. This is a core component of
• 36:51
  these talking points of this framework that I share.
• 36:53
  It's really, I feel like you've got to be able to embrace your
• 36:57
  layers, all the pieces and parts of your life that you love, that
• 37:01
  you don't love decisions you made decisions you wish you
• 37:03
  didn't make, things that happen to you and, and be able to
• 37:07
  embrace them with curiosity rather than judgment.
• 37:10
  So you can see and know and own your value because we prioritize
• 37:15
  what we value, right? But but it's hard.
• 37:18
  And so you get this unexpected expected layer, you know, that
• 37:23
  introduced itself to you when you were in high school and and
• 37:28
  you've moved forward from that. But talk to me about embracing
• 37:31
  all the layers of this journey and what it's been like, because
• 37:35
  I feel like you've done that, but also it's been a process.
• 37:40
  So I thought I had to grieve and then I could move forward.
• 37:45
  I experienced anxiety, panic attacks, and then I move
• 37:51
  forward. I thought it was very
• 37:53
  compartmentalized, not the layers, what you're saying, all
• 37:57
  holding it together. And I want to share one
• 38:01
  conversation that taught me 100% exactly what you're saying.
• 38:06
  It's layers. It's all parts of us.
• 38:08
  It's the good, the bad, like you said, the parts we want to
• 38:10
  remember, the parts that we don't want to remember, the
• 38:12
  parts that we like, the parts that we don't like.
• 38:15
  So it was the week before I was starting college at ASU and I
• 38:19
  was in an administrator's office.
• 38:21
  And I don't know what our meeting was about, but at the
• 38:25
  end of the meeting, she said, Laura, before you go, I just
• 38:30
  want to let you know you can grieve and move forward at the
• 38:35
  same time. This grieving process, you think
• 38:39
  you went through it in high school and that you've tracked
• 38:42
  that box and now it's time to move forward.
• 38:45
  And she literally said, permission.
• 38:47
  I want to give you permission that you can grieve the rest of
• 38:51
  your life. And that's not a weakness.
• 38:54
  That doesn't mean you haven't accepted your blindness.
• 38:56
  That doesn't mean you're not moving forward.
• 38:59
  It means you do both at the same time.
• 39:02
  Yes, yes. The nuance, the nuance, and that
• 39:07
  was the permission I needed to do both.
• 39:12
  Wow. Because again, in my mind it was
• 39:15
  if I'm grieving that I can't move forward, it's healing.
• 39:19
  And it brings us to a whole like wholeness when we do.
• 39:23
  Both. Yeah.
• 39:26
  Because I think that's such a good point because life's going
• 39:28
  to continue to evolve and unfold seasons that you haven't
• 39:32
  experienced yet and you don't know what it is you're going to
• 39:35
  love or grieve in each season until you get to it, you know?
• 39:40
  And so if you shut down, and I'm such an AB, I talk about this a
• 39:44
  lot. I don't believe in good or bad
• 39:47
  emotions. Emotions.
• 39:49
  Are clues and they and they. Are and they let us know where
• 39:52
  we're at and we need to allow allow them to breathe and move
• 39:55
  and we can feel multiple emotions at one time.
• 39:58
  We can both be grateful and be mourning something, both of
• 40:03
  them. That's my life, 100%, yeah.
• 40:06
  Yeah, that was such a great example of that.
• 40:08
  Thank you so much. All right, when it comes to
• 40:11
  living out feel, finding empowerment, embracing layers,
• 40:14
  you are doing this. You are such a beautiful example
• 40:19
  of this. Talk to me about.
• 40:21
  How that is affected the relationship you have with
• 40:25
  yourself as. Well.
• 40:27
  As your relationships with other people.
• 40:31
  My relationship with myself, it brings that realness.
• 40:36
  And what I immediately think of when you said that is it takes
• 40:40
  the judgment off. So rather than causally judging
• 40:44
  myself, why'd you say that? Why'd you do that?
• 40:46
  That was stupid comment that, that was weird.
• 40:49
  Why'd you say that out loud? Rather than causally judging
• 40:52
  myself is just this deeper level of acceptance.
• 40:56
  And that doesn't mean I don't have a growth mindset.
• 41:00
  That doesn't mean I don't check myself, hold myself accountable.
• 41:03
  It just means that critical judging part of me is not as
• 41:07
  loud and that I can't tell you how healing that is right now.
• 41:13
  I live so long in that judgment, critical mindset.
• 41:17
  Sure, sure. The gift that it brings in
• 41:23
  relation with others is it brings less confrontation.
• 41:29
  It brings, and what I mean by that is it brings less
• 41:33
  competition. It brings less of that sense of
• 41:39
  I have to constantly compete with others, like one up others
• 41:44
  rather than just I'm grounded and centered and who I am and
• 41:50
  I'll be me and you be you. And it's just more of a even
• 41:59
  perspective. Again, I want to use that word
• 42:01
  grounding. It's just more of a calm
• 42:05
  connection rather than this is the word proving it feels we.
• 42:11
  I don't have to constantly prove myself, my words to other person
• 42:14
  and I'm not expecting the other person to prove themselves to
• 42:18
  me. Yeah.
• 42:20
  Yeah, yeah. And that it allows authenticity
• 42:23
  and safety to come to be. Yeah.
• 42:25
  Going back to what you said earlier, how you were a person
• 42:29
  you always have been, that people have been naturally drawn
• 42:31
  to that have naturally created safe spaces for it.
• 42:36
  Do you find that's true in both your professional work as well
• 42:39
  as your personal life? 100 percent, 100%, yeah.
• 42:44
  But when you're. Grounded in yourself.
• 42:47
  You draw in the. Kind of people that are also
• 42:50
  want that for you like we you tend to draw the people in that
• 42:54
  are also going to be those safe places for us to land is would
• 42:58
  you, I mean if you would you say that was been true for you 100%?
• 43:02
  And I just literally had this conversation with my brother
• 43:06
  yesterday about this in a business corporation in his work
• 43:11
  environment. Think that's so true.
• 43:14
  Just I've been his been slash R his mindset coach and just
• 43:19
  that's what I taught him so much about that.
• 43:21
  The like attracts like and he didn't blame me for What are you
• 43:25
  talking about? That didn't make sense.
• 43:27
  But he's living a house as he is comfortable and confident in his
• 43:35
  workability, just in his own just sense of being that's who's
• 43:39
  actually attracted. Yeah.
• 43:42
  And it really what we were talking about yesterday is that
• 43:44
  frustrates people, right? Yes.
• 43:47
  They don't know what to do with it.
• 43:48
  They. Don't know what to do because
• 43:49
  they haven't. Done their own.
• 43:51
  They haven't gotten that way. Got into that space with
• 43:53
  themselves, right? Right, So it makes them
• 43:55
  frustrated like why are you basically, why are you not
• 43:58
  fighting me? Why are you not competing with
• 44:01
  me? And I find all the time in
• 44:03
  myself that people are like, you know, other, especially other
• 44:09
  women. I have to say other women want
• 44:12
  to like why aren't you going to competing with me here?
• 44:15
  Why aren't we like I'm trying to prove to you how great I am?
• 44:19
  Why aren't you just matching me and trying to up me?
• 44:22
  Yes, and it's. I I'm so glad you brought that
• 44:26
  up because that's one of the narratives that I talk a lot
• 44:29
  about on here. We don't change places and
• 44:32
  spaces for women. If we.
• 44:36
  Don't come together and do it in collaboration.
• 44:38
  We have to stop seeing each other as each other's competitor
• 44:42
  and see each other as each other's teammate.
• 44:45
  Support, yes. Yes.
• 44:48
  And we when, when there's more room for us, for me, there's
• 44:51
  more room for you and vice versa.
• 44:54
  And then we invite other people along with this, into the room
• 44:58
  with this. That's how we come together and
• 45:01
  support each other. We get curious, we ask
• 45:03
  questions. How is it that feels that I can
• 45:07
  show up for you instead of assuming we know or assuming
• 45:10
  that you're the competition or the problem, start seeing each
• 45:13
  other as the solution to the problem that exists in the world
• 45:18
  for women and come together with all of our uniqueness, with all
• 45:22
  of our different stories and and have a welcomeness to that and
• 45:26
  not see it as a threat. Threat.
• 45:30
  Yeah, See that, as you said, teamwork, not a threat.
• 45:34
  Yes, absolutely. You said that so well.
• 45:37
  Thank you so much for that. All right, we are winding down
• 45:41
  here. I've got a few rapid fire
• 45:43
  questions for you talk to me about and you've mentioned
• 45:47
  you've talked about these a lot already, but we'll revisit it
• 45:49
  and see if there's any you want to add five activities that
• 45:53
  nourish you. The ocean being and what I mean
• 45:58
  by the ocean is being this could be all 5 just being at the
• 46:02
  beach. The just the sand, the water,
• 46:05
  the wind, just that the air that definitely the beach.
• 46:10
  The kind of the opposite thing that which I absolutely love
• 46:13
  equally as much is hiking, being out in nature, just being like
• 46:20
  hiking to a waterfall, just experiencing the wildlife that
• 46:25
  is incredibly grounding. Yeah.
• 46:28
  The third one would be laughter, just the joy in life.
• 46:32
  And I, I'm the first one to to admit this and say this is a
• 46:37
  type A driven female. I can get so serious and so goal
• 46:44
  oriented. Driven.
• 46:46
  Yeah, forget just to laugh. Yeah, just fun.
• 46:49
  It's a simple things, you know, and just just it doesn't have to
• 46:55
  be so intense all the time, right, right. 4th would
• 47:00
  definitely be just those just like similar to laughter,
• 47:05
  there's healing conversations. And I don't mean, yes, of
• 47:08
  course, like the deep intense, but just the conversations with
• 47:12
  a good friend that I can just pick up the phone and call and
• 47:16
  say, Oh my gosh, I can't believe this happened to me.
• 47:18
  Dave, let me tell you this or let me hear about your day or
• 47:21
  what, what was your, what topic did you enjoy today?
• 47:24
  You know, just those everyday connections.
• 47:29
  Yeah, yeah. So.
• 47:31
  Invigorating. It's so invigorating.
• 47:34
  It's so incredibly invigorating, yeah.
• 47:38
  So I wouldn't circle back because you, I, I love that you
• 47:41
  just blow expectations out of the water.
• 47:43
  There's going to be listeners out there that are going to be
• 47:45
  like, I thought she said she was blind.
• 47:47
  She's going hiking and going to a waterfall.
• 47:49
  Talk to me about what that experience is like for you.
• 47:52
  It's like, do you notice that you hear things more
• 47:56
  intentionally than you used to? How does that?
• 48:00
  Yeah. And I'll give you a real world
• 48:03
  experience. And it's also, if I can, circles
• 48:06
  back to the holding to feelings, to truce intention, just like
• 48:12
  you were talking about the morning and the grateful.
• 48:14
  Yeah. So, so my husband and
• 48:17
  stepdaughter and I, we could go hiking all the time.
• 48:21
  And just about two weeks ago we were doing like a Six Mile loop.
• 48:26
  And in that experience is about midway through, there wasn't
• 48:30
  anything, nothing happened. They didn't say anything to me.
• 48:34
  Like it wasn't anything direct, but I just was like, gosh, I
• 48:38
  just, I just mourn. I'm just sad.
• 48:41
  I can't see this. I can't see the beauty, the
• 48:44
  mountains, the sun shining through the mountains, the
• 48:48
  wildlife running by. I just, and it wasn't like a, a
• 48:53
  deep, it was just a sadness, a mourning of like, gosh, I just
• 48:57
  this, this. Yeah.
• 48:59
  At the same time, there was that deep, deep gratitude that I'm
• 49:05
  with two people that I care about most in the world, right?
• 49:09
  Like the gift of connection. Again, most of the time we're
• 49:12
  not talking, you know, we're like, this is still so high,
• 49:16
  like it's never going to end. We have nothing to say to each
• 49:18
  other, right? You're not the breath to say it,
• 49:21
  but it's not what we're saying. It's just being together.
• 49:26
  It's just take a water break and snap break at the waterfall and
• 49:31
  then so that's that. Would I want to say that very
• 49:35
  much from the gratitude and the mourning are equally as valid?
• 49:40
  Yeah. You answered your question on
• 49:43
  just the experience. I'm way, yes, I'm way more in
• 49:47
  tune to not just the hearing, but just the energetic presence.
• 49:53
  So as far as the hearing true situation, my stepdaughter,
• 49:59
  she's 12, so she's always ahead of us.
• 50:02
  Like y'all are so slow. Of course she's always like way
• 50:06
  ahead of us, you know. And so I will say, oh, a biker's
• 50:12
  coming up and my husband's like, no, I don't see a biker.
• 50:15
  No. And I'm like, yeah, a backer's
• 50:18
  coming. I hear it.
• 50:18
  He's like, no, no, there's no biker around.
• 50:20
  I don't see it 2 seconds later. Oh yeah, I see that biker
• 50:24
  coming. Wow. 100% of the time I hear the
• 50:30
  things. Not before it happens.
• 50:32
  I don't mean that, but like sure, before it's in visual,
• 50:38
  visual perspective, you know, before, you know, I'm hearing it
• 50:43
  because I can hear, hear it further before they turn the
• 50:45
  corner or whatever. Yeah, And then definitely just
• 50:49
  being aware of the wildlife, Like I'll hear something and
• 50:54
  say, Oh yeah, what is that over there to the right?
• 50:58
  And like, I was nothing. And then 2 seconds later, Oh
• 51:01
  yeah, there's a rabbit hopping along, you know, So just more
• 51:05
  aware of the sounds. They're just around me.
• 51:09
  And again, it's not that other people don't hear it, it's just
• 51:12
  that I'm more in tune. Sure.
• 51:15
  I. Focus on it more.
• 51:18
  Right. And also the added experience
• 51:21
  that that's giving to your husband and stepdaughter, right?
• 51:24
  Right with you. And they would have missed that,
• 51:26
  missed that. And there's been a lot of times
• 51:28
  where I'm like, hey, where is that bird?
• 51:30
  Where I hear that bird? Where is it?
• 51:32
  They're like. No, there's no bird.
• 51:33
  He's like, Oh my God, there's the most beautiful bird we've
• 51:37
  never seen before. Yeah, you're right.
• 51:39
  So then they get a stop and experience that the bird, you
• 51:44
  know, like one time I'm thinking about very specifically, I'm
• 51:47
  like, I hear woodpecker. Then I hear the woodpecker,
• 51:50
  Where's the woodpecker? And they're like Laura, there's
• 51:53
  no woodpecker around. And then they so then of course
• 51:55
  to the 12 years like a challenge, I will find the
• 51:58
  woodpecker. And she does this like, Oh my
• 52:02
  God is way up in the trees. I never would have seen.
• 52:06
  And then we spend 20 minutes staring at a woodpecker.
• 52:09
  You know, there's just that bringing that perspective
• 52:16
  because they're so focused on the visual.
• 52:19
  Sure, there's so much we can bring.
• 52:22
  So, yeah. And just feeling the energy,
• 52:24
  like I'll say, gosh, this is just so it just feels so
• 52:28
  peaceful in this area, in this particular section of the hike.
• 52:33
  And they're like, oh, yeah, it does.
• 52:36
  Like they have to stop and think about it, right?
• 52:38
  It's like, oh, yeah, you're right.
• 52:40
  So just picking up on the energy, the sounds, that aura of
• 52:46
  the environment, Yeah, and it keeps you so.
• 52:49
  Present. 100 percent, 100%, yeah.
• 52:54
  Oh, I love that. Thanks so much for sharing that.
• 52:56
  That was really beautiful. All right, 5 words on how you
• 53:00
  want to feel the next six months.
• 53:05
  Continue the courage, definitely, as I started
• 53:08
  literally with the first word being courage.
• 53:12
  That for me would be one of the five words because I've
• 53:16
  understand courage is the daily practice.
• 53:19
  That would be the courage. It would be the resiliency, it
• 53:23
  would be strength. And just like I said, the
• 53:26
  laughter, just the joy, not missing the joy, and then just
• 53:31
  the deep peace. And can I explain real quick
• 53:35
  what I mean by not, not peace, Like life is going good and so
• 53:40
  I'm peaceful. What I mean by peace is just
• 53:43
  that intercom, just that intercom within my being.
• 53:48
  Yeah, Yeah. And I think that's something
• 53:53
  that we we have to understand that you're not going to get rid
• 53:59
  of life's challenges and you can't use that as your barometer
• 54:03
  for peace. It's that.
• 54:05
  Learning to live with that contentness, contentness,
• 54:09
  contentness, contentness within. Sometimes the chaos even with.
• 54:14
  Most of the time. Within the absolutely,
• 54:16
  absolutely, because that's what that's what life tends to be.
• 54:19
  Oh my gosh, life is oh, 100% Laura.
• 54:23
  Share with people where they can find you and follow you.
• 54:27
  So the best place is my website, laurabratton.com has all
• 54:31
  information on my speaking coaching book.
• 54:35
  All the information is there. OK.
• 54:37
  And one last thought that you would like to leave with our
• 54:40
  listeners today. Know that you are enough.
• 54:47
  And I say that because as women in this human experience, it's
• 54:54
  so easy to think we're never enough.
• 54:58
  Yeah. And so I just want to remind all
• 55:02
  of us that as we are, who we are, as we are created, we are
• 55:08
  enough. And to believe that within
• 55:10
  ourselves, because the world's not going to tell us that or
• 55:14
  validate that. So to know that and trust that
• 55:18
  in our being that we are enough. Thank you so much.
• 55:22
  Such a beautiful way to wrap up this episode.
• 55:24
  Laura, thank you for being with me today.
• 55:27
  Thank you for how you show up in the world.
• 55:29
  You are a blessing. And and also you are just
• 55:32
  beautiful human and I love that. I love how you just you live
• 55:36
  this life as a woman would live her life and you found a way to
• 55:41
  weave into your experiences the both the the challenge of it and
• 55:47
  the acknowledgement of the difficulty at times.
• 55:49
  But also, it hasn't got in the way of you just living your
• 55:52
  life. Right.
• 55:54
  Yes. And thank you for this platform
• 55:56
  because it's deeply needed. We all need it to give that
• 56:00
  voice, that perspective. Absolutely.
• 56:03
  Absolutely. All right, listeners, go to our
• 56:06
  website to find Laura's information if you didn't have a
• 56:08
  chance to jot it down. Thank you so much for being with
• 56:11
  us here today. I know that there's so much you
• 56:14
  took from this. Go back and listen again, take
• 56:16
  notes. Remember, you are a nut.
• 56:20
  You're valuable, you're worthy, and you get to choose.
• 56:24
  You get to choose the life you want to look for yourself.
• 56:27
  Take good care and we'll see you here next time on the Field
• 56:30
  podcast. Hello and thank you so much for
• 56:33
  being with us today on this episode of the Feel podcast.
• 56:38
  If you would like more information on how you can apply
• 56:42
  these talking points that I share with our guests in each
• 56:46
  episode to your own life, really utilize this Feel framework.
• 56:51
  Go to embracinglayers.com, fill out our contact form and let's
• 56:56
  set up a free 30 minute consultation to talk about how
• 57:00
  you can start being your most authentic, organic, healthy feel
• 57:06
  fueled life. Thanks again for being with us
• 57:09
  today. We'll be back to you soon with
• 57:11
  another episode here on the Feel Podcast.