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Partner Debt, Broke Tips & the Big 30! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order
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Speaker 1: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
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Speaker 1: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
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Speaker 1: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
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Speaker 1: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
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Speaker 1: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through
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Speaker 1: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
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Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
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Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money Podcast, Millennials
1:01
Speaker 4: who want financial freedom. My friends, today is Friday. I
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Speaker 4: bet you didn't see this coming, but it is time
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Speaker 4: to get my little team together and celebrate you our
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Speaker 4: incredible She's on the Money community. Miss Jess Gorici is
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Speaker 4: going to be sharing our favorite money wins and telling
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Speaker 4: us about her thirtieth birthday. Miss Bechsayed has a number
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Speaker 4: of broke tips for us which I cannot wait to
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Speaker 4: get to. We also have a juicy money dilemma this week,
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Speaker 4: which is all about whether you're liable if your partner
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Speaker 4: owes tax, which I think is an interesting conundrum. I
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Speaker 4: love talking about partner debt. And then we have a
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Speaker 4: juicy little DM that you slid into our messages about
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Speaker 4: this week. We're talking about contributing to shared funds when
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Speaker 4: you're on Matt leave and your partner is full time,
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Speaker 4: which I feel like can also be really juicy.
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Speaker 2: I'm excited.
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Speaker 4: But before we get there, my loves, how are your
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Speaker 4: weeks specifically, Jessica, How are your thirties treating you?
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Speaker 5: Oh?
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Speaker 2: My god, great, I have been here for all of
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Speaker 2: twelve hours.
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Speaker 4: Twelve hours of thirty. It feel old? Excuse me? Were
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Speaker 4: this offly? And I am older than you?
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Speaker 2: And sorry?
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Speaker 4: Do you know what I really liked when I was like, yes,
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Speaker 4: I'm older than you. Just was like, oh, you're only
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Speaker 4: a year older. And I was like, I'm not though
2:15
Speaker 4: I'm much older, but let's go with that.
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Speaker 6: It's very flattering.
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Speaker 4: And I was like, thanks, thanks, thanks, you just give
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Speaker 4: youthful fat. You know I'm immature. Yeah, I think that's
2:24
Speaker 4: what they might.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's been good. Nothing crazy, as you said.
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Speaker 2: I think when it was your birthday, like a week ago.
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Speaker 2: As year older, I think birthdays become like less of
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Speaker 2: a big thing, and I think I don't know, it
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Speaker 2: was weird. I was in two minds. I was like,
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Speaker 2: this is like a huge birthday, and then part of
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Speaker 2: me was like, oh, I just want to let it
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Speaker 2: like roll. So I was kind of like speaking to
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Speaker 2: the middle old Yeah, like it's just somewhere in the middle,
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Speaker 2: you know. But it's been really good. I came in,
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Speaker 2: I got lots of birthday love, I got my face
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Speaker 2: photoshopped onto a sign. What more could I ask for
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Speaker 2: from you?
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Speaker 4: But truly not anything more. Beck and I just use
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Speaker 4: that as an excuse to make your birthday aout us
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Speaker 4: to is also on that sign.
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Speaker 2: I love it.
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Speaker 6: I love other people's birthdays for this exact reason.
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Speaker 4: I just like celebrating other people. It's just really fun.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, And honestly, like I feel like once a year
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Speaker 6: we get to really bask in the glory and just
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Speaker 6: like we hear from everyone that we care about. It's
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Speaker 6: like it's a day where you can have all the
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Speaker 6: attention on you and you can feel good about it,
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Speaker 6: Like you don't have to feel bad about anything, not
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Speaker 6: that you do anyway, But like I am just so
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Speaker 6: happy to be able to celebrate you without it being
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Speaker 6: weird like that.
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Speaker 4: Without it being weird. Yeah, although she comes into work
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Speaker 4: every day justin she's like, I really wish I could celebrate.
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Speaker 6: Yes, Ricky, every day I wake up and think, oh
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Speaker 6: my goodness, I'm so happy she's alive. But today it's
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Speaker 6: not weird to stay say it out loud.
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Speaker 4: I love that. I love that. It's incredible. That's not
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Speaker 4: weird at all.
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Speaker 2: Apart from getting to celebrate, it's been the.
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Speaker 4: Best week ever. She got to tell you how what
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Speaker 4: you mean.
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Speaker 2: The best best week?
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Speaker 4: I'm so happy that you're live.
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Speaker 6: No, my week has been yeah, Rutchull you know it's
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Speaker 6: actually Also it's a fair.
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Speaker 2: While away, nearly your birthday.
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Speaker 6: Two is nearly my birthday. And usually I say July
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Speaker 6: is like the whole of July's yeah birthday.
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Speaker 4: It is your birthday.
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Speaker 6: Yep, but yes, I kind of have to share it
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Speaker 6: with both of you now, like you're like thirtieth of June.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, our team is like all cancers. There's so many
4:26
Speaker 2: of us concentrated Corris this month as well.
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Speaker 4: Is it actually? And Brook is also a cancrian? Yes, yeah,
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Speaker 4: Mike is I feel like you can't work here unless
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Speaker 4: you're a Cancrian. I'm Leo actually, But do you know
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Speaker 4: what that tells me? I do not know that much
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Speaker 4: about the star science, which do you know what? Probably
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Speaker 4: a flex? Yeah, no, that's true.
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Speaker 6: It's very telling you don't want to know too much
4:53
Speaker 6: about star signs. You kind of want to be on
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Speaker 6: the cusp, you.
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Speaker 4: Dabble, I know. So I've really been into dating shows
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Speaker 4: recently and just like watching dating shows on like Netflix
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Speaker 4: and stuff. And we've been watching a dating show on
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Speaker 4: Netflix at the moment, and like we've started a new season,
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Speaker 4: and I just knew it was going to be a
5:10
Speaker 4: good season when like two of the girls they were like, Hi,
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Speaker 4: I'm Jess and I'm the Cancerrian, and I was just like,
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Speaker 4: this is gonna be So you just know that when
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Speaker 4: they introduced themselves by this star sign.
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Speaker 6: They're letting a lot of their bad behavior go like well, I'm.
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Speaker 4: Cancerrious really rude because of my star sign.
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Speaker 2: Do you remember when Abby Chatfield was on the Batch
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Speaker 2: and she got done so dirty because she was astronomer
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Speaker 2: and he like they came on, they were talking about
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Speaker 2: what they did and she's like, what are you doing?
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Speaker 2: He's like, I'm an astronomer, and she was like, amazing,
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Speaker 2: I'm a cancer or like whatever or whatever. She said yeah,
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Speaker 2: and she was like making a joke and trying to
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Speaker 2: be funny, but they made her look so dirty.
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Speaker 6: But really it's so clever, Like that's such a funny,
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Speaker 6: Like I would never have made that joke. It wouldn't
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Speaker 6: have come to me fast enough. And she's so sweaty.
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Speaker 4: She is so witty. It does my head in how
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Speaker 4: smart that woman is, Like do you guys know she
6:04
Speaker 4: has a master's degree as well?
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Speaker 2: That doesn't so proud, doesn't. It doesn't.
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Speaker 6: She is very very smart.
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Speaker 4: It makes sense. I just feel like they did her
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Speaker 4: a dirty with that edit. But like low key, that
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Speaker 4: was really funny.
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Speaker 2: It was hilarious.
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Speaker 4: It was amazing. It was really funny.
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Speaker 6: I'm not going to go into this too much because
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Speaker 6: I know that we have a whole episode to do,
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Speaker 6: but they do make really pretty girls on like well
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Speaker 6: any kind of girl. They always make them look like
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Speaker 6: the dumb bimbo. But like, if you're smart, you're smart,
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Speaker 6: doesn't matter what gender you are, you just you're smart.
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Speaker 4: And she's really smart.
6:33
Speaker 6: Anyway. I didn't like that at also thank you for.
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Speaker 2: I Love You.
6:37
Speaker 4: But we're going to move on from our Abby fan
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Speaker 4: club because it's actually meant to be a Jess fan club,
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Speaker 4: so it's always going to come back to That's so great.
6:46
Speaker 4: It's also Jess's birthday, which I think is a good,
6:50
Speaker 4: good theme of this episode. But I want to jump
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Speaker 4: in because Jess. This week we have a number of
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Speaker 4: really good money with What are they? Do you want
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Speaker 4: to start at the top?
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Speaker 2: Absolutely? Firstly, this week, I've got one from Jade who said,
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Speaker 2: money win. I purchased a cookbook that's called ten Dollars Meals,
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Speaker 2: and using it has significantly reduced my grocery bill. She said,
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Speaker 2: it's almost been halved because all the recipes in this
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Speaker 2: book are ten dollars a under the cook which I
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Speaker 2: thought was very cool.
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Speaker 4: I love that. Is it still relevant or is this
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Speaker 4: like a little bit of a Curtis Stone moment where
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Speaker 4: he used to be able to do the ten dollar
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Speaker 4: meals with the supermarket and now it's like, oh, the
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Speaker 4: block of cheese is ten dollars.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, depressing. I mean, I love that, though
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Speaker 2: yea half her grocery bills, I'm assuming it's at least helping.
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Speaker 4: It's actually working. A money win shed called Curdis Stone.
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Speaker 4: Let him know we could go back into business.
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Speaker 2: Have a look at the book, Curtis, maybe'll help you out. Next,
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Speaker 2: I've got a money win from Sheridan who said she
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Speaker 2: got a free ticket to Missy Higgins on Louis Yet.
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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I saw that money win. How does
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Speaker 4: it feel to lift my dream? Incredible?
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Speaker 2: I didn't even know miss Higgins was touring, and seeing
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Speaker 2: the name just took me, like right back to being
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Speaker 2: twelve years old. I remember, were you here?
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Speaker 4: I don't know if you were here, but you got
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Speaker 4: tickets and I was like, why didn't you tell me?
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Speaker 2: No, I don't think I was here for that for them.
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Speaker 4: But also Missy Higgins defined this won't be relevant to
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Speaker 4: you because you're a child beck, but it didn't find
8:13
Speaker 4: my grade nine experience. I feel like all of your songs, yeah,
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Speaker 4: like I just be's like I wasn't born yet, but
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Speaker 4: I just I'm a test.
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Speaker 2: You're older than me.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, baby, you are your baby. You're all babies.
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Speaker 2: The vibe is I'm just a babier.
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Speaker 6: We're all just babies.
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Speaker 2: Actually, at the end of the day, just a little we're.
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Speaker 4: All just doing life for the first time. Behind.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's so true. Put it on a
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Speaker 2: T shirt Salibate's merch. Next, I've got money in from Kalise,
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Speaker 2: who said she went to Freedom to look at shears
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Speaker 2: for her new home and she found a dresser that
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Speaker 2: she'd wanted for years that is now sold out for
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Speaker 2: two hundred and ninety nine dollars. It was originally fifteen hundred.
8:57
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it was old floor stock. It's in
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Speaker 2: perfect condition, and I wanted to give it a shout
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Speaker 2: out because I'm really jealous because I've always wanted this
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Speaker 2: dresser and a picture. Yeah, well you see called the
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Speaker 2: Raffles dresser from Freedom. It's got a cute return yeah,
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Speaker 2: very website. Yeah, so absolutely well done from you, colle.
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Speaker 4: You can see why we have bought it because fifteen
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Speaker 4: hundred dollars for a dresser feels like a lot.
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Speaker 2: Three hundred bucks so money win.
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Speaker 4: That is a very good money win. Because also if
9:28
Speaker 4: she decides that she doesn't like it, Galise can stick
9:30
Speaker 4: it on Facebook market play make a problem exactly. You
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Speaker 4: can stick it on Facebook market place for five hundred
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Speaker 4: bucks and people would think that's a bargain absolutely completely.
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Speaker 2: Next, I've got a money win from Jackie who said
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Speaker 2: she got an email from Hoints today offering her a
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Speaker 2: one dollar movie ticket that comes with a free small popcorn.
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Speaker 4: Well, thank you.
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Speaker 2: Don't know how we get on that lead. That is
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Speaker 2: incredible if anyone works on hots and knows how to
9:53
Speaker 2: sort that out.
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Speaker 4: You can't even popcorn these days for a dollar.
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Speaker 2: And they've shrunk the sizes and a lot of places too.
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Speaker 2: We went to a cineer the other day and I
10:01
Speaker 2: was like, James grabbed the popcorn and I was like,
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Speaker 2: oh no, I want a large, and he's like, that
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Speaker 2: is a large asilation a drink with ten bucks. I
10:09
Speaker 2: nearly died.
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Speaker 4: Do you know how hand doors for a drink?
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Speaker 2: Yeah?
10:12
Speaker 4: No, no, no, And it would have been just post piccorn. Yeah,
10:15
Speaker 4: it would have been post mixed. There's not even a
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Speaker 4: free bottle post so I stand post mix. Like my
10:20
Speaker 4: favorite type of coke is McDonald's coke. Oh yeah, like
10:23
Speaker 4: a crispy McDonald's coke zero.
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Speaker 2: It's different really like nothing else.
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Speaker 4: Like nothing else. I don't know why, but we also
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Speaker 4: know on this show if you've been a long time
10:33
Speaker 4: listen that you know how obsessed Jess is with movie popcorn.
10:37
Speaker 4: But do you know Jess has been known to order
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Speaker 4: movie popcorn or uber eats.
10:41
Speaker 2: I think you do you want to go to the cinema?
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Speaker 2: I have done that because they cinema, my local cinema
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Speaker 2: closed a while ago, and so I can't uberets it anymore,
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Speaker 2: and so I do occasionally just pop into a different
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Speaker 2: cinema and take it to go.
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Speaker 4: You take the popcorn to go.
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Speaker 2: It's always quite embarrassing because I get in the line,
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Speaker 2: they go, do you want a ticket? And I go no,
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Speaker 2: and you know they might assume that I've bought a
11:01
Speaker 2: ticket online. They give me the popcorn, and then instead
11:03
Speaker 2: of going right into the cinema, I just do it
11:05
Speaker 2: hang a left.
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Speaker 6: Literally I can picture the person there that's like waiting
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Speaker 6: to like rip your ticket. Watch you walk straight and
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Speaker 6: then go sharp left out back into the car.
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Speaker 4: Where's she going? She doesn't want to see a movie?
11:20
Speaker 4: Little do they know you were never going to see I'm.
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Speaker 2: Watching a movie and at home, babe, it's so much cheaper. Next,
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Speaker 2: I've got a money in from Jessica excellent name, who
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Speaker 2: said she paid off her zip pay with her tax return.
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Speaker 4: Oh, money win and very good use of your.
11:36
Speaker 2: Tax I can completely agree. If you've got debt and
11:39
Speaker 2: you've got a tax coming in, maybe think about allocating
11:41
Speaker 2: it there because I feel like that's a very good
11:43
Speaker 2: use of it. And then lastly, I've got a money
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Speaker 2: in from Lauren, who I feel like we'll all appreciate.
11:48
Speaker 2: She said she's just realized her kids daycare makes free
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Speaker 2: coffees for parents ont drop off. WHOA, I'm sorry, what
11:54
Speaker 2: is that incredible stuff?
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Speaker 4: Harvey? Are you going to go to daycare soon?
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Speaker 2: Because I like that that's a prerequisite now and I
12:01
Speaker 2: wonder they fact checked if you're a parent? Try do
12:10
Speaker 2: you know if there is mine? Do you know what.
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Speaker 4: I can't with you too? Do you know what's weirder
12:16
Speaker 4: than going to the movies and getting popcorn without seeing
12:18
Speaker 4: the movies is going to a dayare for the coffee
12:22
Speaker 4: ar when you don't have kids.
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Speaker 6: Okay, I see, I love this for us.
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Speaker 4: I would like to move off this if you ever
12:30
Speaker 4: want to do daycare drop off in the future. For Harvey, though,
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Speaker 4: you let me know to be really appreciated. But Beck,
12:36
Speaker 4: what broke tips have you got for us this week?
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Speaker 2: Okay?
12:39
Speaker 6: So I actually really the community came through this week.
12:42
Speaker 4: You didn't steal your girlfriend's home work, did you.
12:44
Speaker 6: I didn't steal my girlfriend's ideas this time around. So
12:48
Speaker 6: the first one I have comes from this is looking
12:51
Speaker 6: really bad. But the person in our community, her name
12:54
Speaker 6: is Jess.
12:55
Speaker 4: Sure, Jeez, name is Jess. Does she happen to work for?
12:59
Speaker 2: Are not this one?
13:02
Speaker 4: Not this one?
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Speaker 6: I promise you, Jess, you know that I'm talking about you,
13:06
Speaker 6: and I really appreciate you, so Jess suggested. And I
13:09
Speaker 6: guess this is like if you maybe if you own
13:10
Speaker 6: your own home, but I'm sure also if you rent,
13:13
Speaker 6: you do have.
13:13
Speaker 4: The ab ablity to do this.
13:14
Speaker 6: I guess it's also if you have like a big,
13:16
Speaker 6: you know, plot of land, but you.
13:20
Speaker 4: Just happen to have land, you might not be broken.
13:23
Speaker 6: But basically, Jess said that housing chickens were either like
13:27
Speaker 6: in a little coop or whatever, just owning chickens of
13:29
Speaker 6: some kind. I'm sure you don't need like a big
13:31
Speaker 6: bit of land like I feel like I could do that.
13:33
Speaker 4: I'm married.
13:34
Speaker 2: My boyfriend's mom has the inn back out.
13:35
Speaker 6: Yeah, and it's not like it doesn't have to be
13:37
Speaker 6: a big plot of land.
13:39
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I don't like that.
13:40
Speaker 4: I feel like hold on, so the broke tip this
13:43
Speaker 4: week have a big plot of land and get some chickens.
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Speaker 6: Own a home and then have a big plot of land.
13:50
Speaker 4: How relatable. I love this, Just really cute, Jess. They're
13:56
Speaker 4: just really cute.
13:57
Speaker 6: No, but you do get obviously free a I'm not
14:00
Speaker 6: sure how it works, like if you need a hen
14:03
Speaker 6: as well, but chickens.
14:05
Speaker 2: I genuinely don't know how that works.
14:07
Speaker 4: But hens lay eggs.
14:08
Speaker 6: Roosters do not, Okay, so what I have one of
14:12
Speaker 6: one all the other I don't really understand. But you
14:14
Speaker 6: do get free eggs, which is also obviously amazing, and.
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Speaker 4: Trying to move only have to buy food for them
14:21
Speaker 4: and up keep them instead of buying real eggs.
14:24
Speaker 6: No, this is the thing that just said that actually
14:27
Speaker 6: feeding them is really really cheap. You can you know,
14:30
Speaker 6: my best friend live who I talk about, her family
14:32
Speaker 6: have chickens and we literally just give the chickens else
14:36
Speaker 6: are left over anything like whatever. We've got a lot
14:39
Speaker 6: of organic produce, so when they eat them very in
14:42
Speaker 6: your garden they do, and it's very very cheap to upkeep.
14:45
Speaker 6: And then if you move the coop every few years,
14:47
Speaker 6: and you get like a big thing of compost. Like
14:48
Speaker 6: it's just like it's all about like regeneration and eggs
14:52
Speaker 6: and I don't know, it just sounds a wholesome.
14:54
Speaker 4: And I love this. Keep them in small spaces, and
14:57
Speaker 4: like I would like to just claim that you don't
14:59
Speaker 4: need to own a big plot land to have some chickens.
15:03
Speaker 4: You can actually just chuck them in your backyard. They're
15:05
Speaker 4: really good pets because they're actually really affectionate and they're great.
15:08
Speaker 2: They're great for kids, right because I know one of
15:10
Speaker 2: my friends is a kind of teacher and they have
15:12
Speaker 2: they do chickens every year, but then they go to
15:14
Speaker 2: a loving home. They don't go anywhere they shouldn't be going.
15:17
Speaker 2: They go to a loving home at the end of
15:18
Speaker 2: the year. But they're good for like teaching kids about
15:21
Speaker 2: like the circle of life kind of. Yeah, really sharing
15:24
Speaker 2: for a pet because they're pretty low maintenance.
15:26
Speaker 4: And growing up, my grandparents had a big farm in
15:29
Speaker 4: Tazzy and I was taught once how to pick up
15:32
Speaker 4: the chickens when I would have been like four or five,
15:34
Speaker 4: And that was a really bad thing to teach me
15:36
Speaker 4: because all I do is pick up chicken, no fear
15:39
Speaker 4: at all. I just go in and grab a chalk
15:40
Speaker 4: and be like we're going, We're going.
15:43
Speaker 2: They're kind of like cats because they loaf.
15:46
Speaker 4: I yeah, they do.
15:47
Speaker 2: They do the loaf and you just like cuddle them.
15:50
Speaker 4: They're very affectionate.
15:51
Speaker 5: I like that.
15:51
Speaker 2: I think it's a fun to get chickens.
15:53
Speaker 4: Summary of that story, but not a big plot of land,
15:57
Speaker 4: because it turns out it's actually not that easy. That's right.
16:00
Speaker 6: You don't need all those things that I mentioned, so
16:02
Speaker 6: actually you don't forget that, but you do just I
16:07
Speaker 6: don't know, maybe you need a backyard, I guess at least.
16:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, like probably don't keep them in your bedroom. Yeah,
16:12
Speaker 4: I mean a second tip. The second one comes from
16:15
Speaker 4: Maddie who sent me real that was it's actually by
16:17
Speaker 4: the money mum, and she says that cleaning supplies are
16:20
Speaker 4: usually a lot cheaper buttings, if not like half price,
16:23
Speaker 4: sometimes half the price of woolwors and goals and things
16:25
Speaker 4: like that. Your dish washing tablets, yeah, just you know,
16:28
Speaker 4: your general cleaning supplies. No, I can't think of any
16:31
Speaker 4: right now. It's very clear that I don't do a
16:33
Speaker 4: lot of cleaning at home.
16:34
Speaker 1: Uh.
16:34
Speaker 4: Anyway, that's the second that's a great tip. Jess and
16:37
Speaker 4: I are also really big fans. This is not sponsored
16:40
Speaker 4: at all of the Reject Shop. Like I signed, cleaning
16:43
Speaker 4: supplies so cheap at the Reject Shop that now I'm
16:47
Speaker 4: always getting like my dish washing tablets and my laundry
16:50
Speaker 4: liquid and stuff like that there because I'm shocked at
16:53
Speaker 4: how cheap it is. In comparison, they carry niche things
16:56
Speaker 4: like there's this one spray. If you have an air
16:58
Speaker 4: fry you know how hard those things are to clean.
16:59
Speaker 4: There one spray beat sell it cold, so boring.
17:03
Speaker 2: It's really good content.
17:05
Speaker 4: This the good content.
17:07
Speaker 2: Is this spray that cleans the air fryer really well.
17:08
Speaker 2: They stopped something that cold. It was really sad, and
17:10
Speaker 2: then I found it at the reject Shop and it
17:12
Speaker 2: was cheaper than itals.
17:13
Speaker 4: And also just one time bought Christmas themed scrub daddies.
17:17
Speaker 6: That's cute.
17:18
Speaker 2: They do testive ones, which we love.
17:20
Speaker 4: It's just so grand.
17:21
Speaker 6: There was no one needs it, but you need it, you.
17:23
Speaker 4: Know, guys. The Windex is two dollars a bottle at
17:26
Speaker 4: the Reject Shop. Like riddle me that. It's a constant
17:29
Speaker 4: living crisis.
17:30
Speaker 6: Just shopping the Regi Shop and Bunnings for all of
17:33
Speaker 6: your stuff everything.
17:34
Speaker 4: I love it. Audi like we are not no, sorry,
17:37
Speaker 4: we're worth coals. I mean, if you want to work
17:39
Speaker 4: with us, let us know. But we all know your
17:42
Speaker 4: dishwasher tablets are exorbitant. Sorry someone, Yeah, they're actually outrageously expensive.
17:48
Speaker 2: So this next one, this is my one.
17:50
Speaker 6: It's more like Melbourne based, but I'm sure there's an
17:52
Speaker 6: equivalent in other cities in the States, in territories. So
17:56
Speaker 6: there's a pub very close to my house. It's called
17:59
Speaker 6: The Emperor and they do wonderle hot Wings. I'm sure
18:02
Speaker 6: there's like you know.
18:03
Speaker 4: Hot wings.
18:03
Speaker 6: Yeah, they do one whole hot Wings. I believe it's
18:06
Speaker 6: only on Mondays, but I know that there are other
18:08
Speaker 6: pubs in the area that also do that on like
18:10
Speaker 6: different days. So you just have a look around your
18:12
Speaker 6: area and see if your pub offers anything, you know,
18:15
Speaker 6: kind of like I feel like there's theme night, so
18:17
Speaker 6: smart a pub totally, there's usually like a specials.
18:20
Speaker 2: There's like Monday's, Tuesdays and Wednesdays they do steak night
18:23
Speaker 2: in these days.
18:24
Speaker 4: I feel like you should only be buying it on
18:26
Speaker 4: like the pubs Steak night definitely, definitely, And yeah, you
18:29
Speaker 4: can get really really cheap food stuffs from pubs, which
18:33
Speaker 4: I know, it's like, you know, it's obviously a lot
18:34
Speaker 4: of the time cheaper to cook your own food, but
18:36
Speaker 4: sometimes when it's like wondle hot wings, you like can't
18:39
Speaker 4: beat that. And if you're like me, I can.
18:42
Speaker 6: I really can do a fifteen bucket. But if I'm
18:45
Speaker 6: trying to be cheap, that's a lot of wings, a
18:49
Speaker 6: lot of I will inhale those wings. But no, it
18:52
Speaker 6: is a really I think just have a look at
18:54
Speaker 6: pubs around you, look at their specials things like that.
18:56
Speaker 6: But yeah, Wonderle hot wings. I just think it's really
18:58
Speaker 6: great for this cost ofly in christ to go out
19:00
Speaker 6: and be able to still maybe affward to eat out
19:03
Speaker 6: with friends every now and then have a little.
19:05
Speaker 4: Date night or have like a girl's night out. Pick
19:08
Speaker 4: the night that works, like you don't just have to
19:10
Speaker 4: have a night out on a Friday or Saturday night.
19:13
Speaker 4: Like we're all in our thirties now, so I feel
19:15
Speaker 4: like going out on a Tuesday, if I meet my
19:17
Speaker 4: friends after work, can still be home by eight. I
19:21
Speaker 4: love that some dollar hot wings.
19:23
Speaker 2: Jess is in sold easy. I love this for you
19:26
Speaker 2: guys there next Monday.
19:27
Speaker 4: All right, see you there. Let's go to a really
19:29
Speaker 4: quick break on the flip side. We're going to be
19:31
Speaker 4: talking about whether you're liable if your partner owes tax
19:34
Speaker 4: and we're also going to be diving into a little
19:37
Speaker 4: slippery DM that you asked us about, and that is
19:40
Speaker 4: about contributing to shared funds when you're on matleeve and
19:43
Speaker 4: your partners working full time. So guys, don't go anywhere.
19:51
Speaker 2: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
19:53
Speaker 2: money dilemma.
19:57
Speaker 4: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma? You just
19:59
Speaker 4: can't that She's on the Money team is here to help.
20:02
Speaker 4: Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
20:06
Speaker 4: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
20:09
Speaker 4: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
20:11
Speaker 4: us a short voice recording and you might just find
20:14
Speaker 4: yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to
20:16
Speaker 4: this week's money dilemma.
20:20
Speaker 5: Hi, She's on the Money. My partner and I have
20:22
Speaker 5: been together for four years. He makes significantly more than me,
20:25
Speaker 5: but we do keep our finances separate. I've been thinking
20:28
Speaker 5: more about my future and about property as I'm nearing thirty.
20:32
Speaker 5: I just got a new job as a junior accountant
20:35
Speaker 5: thanks to the podcast. By the way, and on the
20:38
Speaker 5: topic of tax he made a comment that really threw me.
20:42
Speaker 5: He's sixteen years my senior, and he's never filed a
20:45
Speaker 5: tax return as a sole trader in his past, he
20:48
Speaker 5: never paid himself super. Ever since that comment, I've been
20:52
Speaker 5: planning my super around having enough for both of us
20:54
Speaker 5: in our future. But I'm worried that his tax history
20:57
Speaker 5: is going to negatively influence my hopes dreams of owning property.
21:02
Speaker 5: How worried should I be regarding his taxes? Is super?
21:05
Speaker 5: And am I liable as a partner. I'd really appreciate
21:10
Speaker 5: your help on this one, and I love the podcast.
21:12
Speaker 5: I really respect you girls. Thank you.
21:14
Speaker 4: That was really sweet. Thank you so much. She's so
21:16
Speaker 4: thank you. That's really really kind. I'm sorry you're going
21:20
Speaker 4: through this because that would be really stressful. Short answer
21:23
Speaker 4: is no, you are not legally responsible for your partner's debt,
21:26
Speaker 4: whether you are married or not. You might be responsible
21:30
Speaker 4: for debt that you had applied for jointly, obviously that's
21:33
Speaker 4: not tax debt. And when you do your personal tax returns,
21:38
Speaker 4: if you have a partner. It will ask you what
21:40
Speaker 4: your partner's tax return was or what their income was,
21:44
Speaker 4: and you do have to declare that, but that's not
21:46
Speaker 4: so that you take ownership for it. So I think
21:48
Speaker 4: tild that just family tax brackets and stuff like that.
21:53
Speaker 4: So like if we talk about like the Medicare levy
21:55
Speaker 4: surcharge and stuff like that, it's about household income, and
21:58
Speaker 4: often that needs to be calculate at like a family
22:01
Speaker 4: level as opposed to just an individual level. It doesn't
22:04
Speaker 4: mean a lot. Often it's working out whether you're over
22:08
Speaker 4: a family tax bracket. So for example, if you want
22:11
Speaker 4: to claim the childcare subsidies, like a stay at home
22:14
Speaker 4: mum might not have any income when she does her
22:16
Speaker 4: tax return each year, and then the partner has a
22:19
Speaker 4: really really high income, which means that they don't get
22:21
Speaker 4: any of that, so it needs to be applied to
22:23
Speaker 4: her as well in case she lodges for their childcare subsidy.
22:26
Speaker 4: Does that make sense? So it's all about just tracking stuff,
22:29
Speaker 4: it's not about allocating debt to you. I do think
22:32
Speaker 4: that there's a bigger problem there, and that is that
22:35
Speaker 4: he's never lodged a tax return, and that can get
22:39
Speaker 4: you in a fair bit of trouble, but it is
22:43
Speaker 4: not that uncommon, so sadly, lots of people have been
22:46
Speaker 4: in this situation, and I feel like once you get
22:48
Speaker 4: a few years into I guess that mode, it becomes
22:52
Speaker 4: really overwhelming because you're like, well, I don't want to
22:55
Speaker 4: talk to an accountant. They're going to judge me, they're
22:57
Speaker 4: going to XYZ or you know, I might be in
22:59
Speaker 4: trouble with the ATO. But the important thing here is
23:02
Speaker 4: to be the proactive one. So if you're the one going, hey, accountant,
23:06
Speaker 4: I haven't done this, they can clean it up and
23:09
Speaker 4: help you. It's not going to be as overwhelming or
23:11
Speaker 4: hard as you think it is. I mean, there might
23:13
Speaker 4: be some admin you need to do, but given it's
23:17
Speaker 4: what sixteen years or so, I mean that was the
23:20
Speaker 4: age difference, not necessarily how many tax returns he hasn't submitted. However,
23:24
Speaker 4: I think it's really important you have a brand new
23:26
Speaker 4: accountant thanks to our matching program on She's on the Money,
23:29
Speaker 4: which is really cool if you want a new accountant,
23:31
Speaker 4: or a financial advisor or a mortgage broker. We do
23:33
Speaker 4: have a matching service on our website. But that's conversation
23:37
Speaker 4: for another day. But you could get him on that.
23:38
Speaker 4: You could introduce your accountant if you really like them,
23:41
Speaker 4: and say all right, what can you do here, because
23:45
Speaker 4: it does need to be sorted out, and you want
23:46
Speaker 4: to be the proactive one because the ATO is going
23:48
Speaker 4: to go a lot easier on you and go all right, well,
23:52
Speaker 4: let's get this processed, as opposed to them going, hey,
23:55
Speaker 4: our data matching is actually, you know, pointed out that
23:58
Speaker 4: Joe Blow has never done a tax return. We need
24:01
Speaker 4: to track him down because he's on purpose evading tax.
24:05
Speaker 4: That's a different story. Whereas if you go to them
24:07
Speaker 4: and be like, hey, really sorry, I've never done it,
24:10
Speaker 4: really anxious, really this really that, they're going to go
24:12
Speaker 4: all right, well, let's help you work through this and
24:14
Speaker 4: get to it. But also it's important to note that, yes,
24:17
Speaker 4: it might be lots and lots of years, but a
24:20
Speaker 4: lot of it's going to come out in the wash.
24:22
Speaker 4: It depends on how tax has been handled throughout the years,
24:26
Speaker 4: whether he was paying it or not. But you know,
24:28
Speaker 4: you might have good years and you might have bad years.
24:30
Speaker 4: And so if you get it all together and you've
24:32
Speaker 4: got a good accountant that can like backtrack all of it,
24:36
Speaker 4: hopefully it's not that much of a debt owing, but
24:38
Speaker 4: I definitely would be trying to calculate it because it
24:42
Speaker 4: can impact you. So while it might not be something
24:45
Speaker 4: that you have to pay back, it might stop you
24:47
Speaker 4: from getting a home loan. It might stop you from,
24:49
Speaker 4: you know, getting personal debt together, if that's something you
24:52
Speaker 4: want to do. It might stop you, you know, from
24:55
Speaker 4: becoming a guarranteur, if you've got a kid that wants
24:57
Speaker 4: a property, Like, there are lots of things that it
24:59
Speaker 4: can imp hacked. It doesn't mean that you're going to
25:02
Speaker 4: be in a heap of trouble personally, but I mean,
25:05
Speaker 4: if the ATO decides to come for you, and I'm
25:08
Speaker 4: not trying to be dramatical trying to scare you, but
25:11
Speaker 4: if the ATO comes for you and you have a
25:12
Speaker 4: joint house together, that's up for discussion. So it might
25:16
Speaker 4: not be you they're coming for, but because you have
25:18
Speaker 4: a joint asset and they're like, well we want our money,
25:20
Speaker 4: that might be up for discussion and you might miss
25:22
Speaker 4: out that way. So I think it's really important to
25:25
Speaker 4: have that conversation and really urge your partner to go
25:28
Speaker 4: and get help with that and go, hey, this is
25:31
Speaker 4: something that is really serious and we can avoid a
25:35
Speaker 4: lot of the trouble if we just get onto it now.
25:37
Speaker 4: And I think that that's the best thing that we
25:38
Speaker 4: can do.
25:39
Speaker 2: Arguably just a symptom also of like I think, you know,
25:43
Speaker 2: if you're two adults building a life together, you need
25:46
Speaker 2: to know that you can rely on the other person
25:49
Speaker 2: to take care of stuff that needs to be taken
25:51
Speaker 2: care of. So will I understand the anxiety? And if
25:54
Speaker 2: you leave it for ages and whatever, that can be stressful.
25:57
Speaker 2: I think if you said to your partner, hey, happy
25:59
Speaker 2: to help you, put your in touch with an accountant,
26:01
Speaker 2: support you whatever, and they still, you know, are hesitant
26:05
Speaker 2: to sort something like that out, I would be just
26:08
Speaker 2: a little bit concerned about what that kind of behavior says.
26:12
Speaker 2: I don't know, like not to make it to something
26:14
Speaker 2: that maybe isn't a huge deal but just could be
26:17
Speaker 2: symptomatic of something. Yeah, exactly exactly right. And it's just
26:21
Speaker 2: I think like, if your partner is willing to help
26:23
Speaker 2: you sort through whatever that is, like, I don't see
26:27
Speaker 2: a really good reason for you to not want to
26:29
Speaker 2: get that sorted. Yes, yeah, I mean.
26:31
Speaker 4: And an accountant is not going to be judgmental about it.
26:33
Speaker 4: They know that this happens. In fact, yeah, they've definitely
26:37
Speaker 4: seen worse, but like they also see that type of
26:40
Speaker 4: thing a couple of times a year, Like it's not
26:42
Speaker 4: the job.
26:43
Speaker 2: Is to fix it. Fore, Yeah, like that's literally what
26:45
Speaker 2: you're paying.
26:45
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I mean you can claim an accountant on
26:47
Speaker 4: your tax return as well, so you're going to have
26:49
Speaker 4: to pay the accountant. This actually isn't something at this
26:52
Speaker 4: point that you can sort out yourself. Even if you
26:55
Speaker 4: want to sort it out yourself, you actually need an
26:57
Speaker 4: accountant to laise between the atier when you because otherwise
27:01
Speaker 4: you're going to have a whole heap of really late
27:03
Speaker 4: things to pay. And often if the accountant is you know,
27:06
Speaker 4: good with their words and good with their numbers and
27:08
Speaker 4: organizing stuff, they can often negotiate with the ATO on
27:12
Speaker 4: your behalf. And that's not something that you can usually do.
27:15
Speaker 4: So I would say this is like a non negotiable
27:18
Speaker 4: to get it sorted out by a professional, especially because
27:20
Speaker 4: it backdates so much and tax law has changed. As
27:23
Speaker 4: you know, most years we do an update and say, hey,
27:26
Speaker 4: you know, supernuation rates have changed, your tax rates have changed,
27:29
Speaker 4: Like all of those things need to be considered, and
27:32
Speaker 4: if you're not a tax specialist, I think that you'll
27:34
Speaker 4: end up in a bit of a pickle if you
27:36
Speaker 4: did it yourself. So I would definitely be getting help.
27:39
Speaker 4: But yeah, Jess, you're right. I think it's a bit
27:41
Speaker 4: of a red flag if they're not willing to take
27:42
Speaker 4: on help because it's like, well, you haven't done it yourself,
27:45
Speaker 4: and it might be a hard conversation. And who knows,
27:47
Speaker 4: maybe I'm reading into this too much, but I can
27:50
Speaker 4: just imagine it would be a hard conversation to have
27:53
Speaker 4: with a partner to begin with, but especially a partner
27:56
Speaker 4: that owns their own business and is sixteen years you're senior,
27:59
Speaker 4: Like I can just imagine that being, you know, don't
28:02
Speaker 4: tell me what to do. I don't know if that's
28:04
Speaker 4: the case or not, but I just go that should
28:06
Speaker 4: not be the case. But that would be a red flag.
28:08
Speaker 6: Any Yeah, definitely a red flag if they that would
28:10
Speaker 6: be a really sort of power imbalance at all. Absolutely not,
28:13
Speaker 6: that's not that's the problem. But I just want to
28:15
Speaker 6: quickly say, so this is a bit different to like,
28:18
Speaker 6: and I guess like there are probably people listening who
28:20
Speaker 6: know this already, but just because I didn't know this
28:23
Speaker 6: until like literally six months ago. There was like a
28:26
Speaker 6: few years that I hadn't lodged a tax return, but
28:29
Speaker 6: I had never worked for myself. So there's definitely a
28:31
Speaker 6: difference between having like years that you hadn't done your
28:34
Speaker 6: tax and you've never worked for yourself. In this which
28:38
Speaker 6: is assuming his best statements that he hasn't done is
28:43
Speaker 6: a lot more. That's why I'm saying to go talk
28:46
Speaker 6: to a accountant, because I think that that's the best
28:49
Speaker 6: place to start. It's also you know, a space where
28:52
Speaker 6: you can have a conversation where you're not talking directually
28:54
Speaker 6: to the ATO to make a plan to then go
28:56
Speaker 6: to the ATO, because it does need to be sorted out,
28:59
Speaker 6: but would be and I don't want to be too dramatic,
29:02
Speaker 6: you know, Let's say, for example, Jess, who you know,
29:04
Speaker 6: earns salary and then super working directly for me, I
29:09
Speaker 6: as her employer, pay her tax, so like if she
29:12
Speaker 6: hasn't submitted it, like it's probably gonna all come out
29:15
Speaker 6: in the wash and there shouldn't be any issues, Like
29:17
Speaker 6: I can't imagine Jess, You've got receipts from sixteen years
29:19
Speaker 6: ago you can claim, so you're probably just going through
29:22
Speaker 6: and being like, I'm not claiming anything. I'm just declaring
29:24
Speaker 6: how much I made and seeing if I owed any tax,
29:27
Speaker 6: and it should come out in the wash. But like,
29:30
Speaker 6: if you haven't paid tax for sixteen years, like, that's
29:33
Speaker 6: a way bigger problem that's gonna hatter. And again, I
29:36
Speaker 6: don't want to be scary, but this is something that
29:39
Speaker 6: needs to be dealt with because you know, if you
29:41
Speaker 6: then find out your partner has you know, potentially hundreds
29:45
Speaker 6: of thousands of dollars of debt, that's going to change
29:48
Speaker 6: the trajectory of your wealth creation journey as a couple.
29:51
Speaker 6: Could I ask one question, of course you can do
29:53
Speaker 6: we know if say, for example, obviously touch wood. Let's
29:56
Speaker 6: say something would happen is a tax debt passed on.
29:59
Speaker 4: No, don't inherit debt in a str and, It gets taken,
30:04
Speaker 4: it gets taken from the estate. So what happens is
30:07
Speaker 4: let's say I passed away yesterday and I had a
30:11
Speaker 4: debt of one hundred thousand dollars. My executor of my
30:14
Speaker 4: will would work out what my assets are and they
30:17
Speaker 4: might say, Victoria, you own a house, you own a car,
30:20
Speaker 4: you own this, that the other, and they will say
30:23
Speaker 4: from your estate, you know, if I had cash, you
30:25
Speaker 4: need to pay off your debt before we can distribute
30:27
Speaker 4: any of your other assets to your family and friends,
30:30
Speaker 4: like you have outlined in your will, So it would
30:32
Speaker 4: be taken first. If there's no cash for me to
30:35
Speaker 4: pay off that debt. They would then say, okay, well
30:38
Speaker 4: we need to extinguish a property or get rid of
30:41
Speaker 4: something to sell. So they might go, well, let's sell
30:44
Speaker 4: your car and let's sell your house and we'll get
30:46
Speaker 4: some cash, and then your family and friends can have
30:48
Speaker 4: the rest, and then we'll distribute it evenly. If there
30:51
Speaker 4: is nothing left over at the end, your family doesn't
30:53
Speaker 4: owe that money, the creditors that or the people that
30:57
Speaker 4: you owe money to, they just don't get paid back.
30:59
Speaker 4: It's not a good thing. But it's not your responsibility
31:02
Speaker 4: to take on somebody else's debt in that circumstance. But
31:06
Speaker 4: that is a different story if it is a joint debt.
31:09
Speaker 4: So if you had a joint debt with somebody, so
31:12
Speaker 4: say something happens to me yesterday and Jess and I
31:15
Speaker 4: own property together, that debt would fall onto Jess and
31:19
Speaker 4: the mortgage repayments would become her mortgage repayments and then
31:22
Speaker 4: it's up to her to decide whether you know, she
31:25
Speaker 4: wants to continue paying my helf or not. And hopefully
31:28
Speaker 4: that's when my life insurance policy and any personal insurances
31:32
Speaker 4: I have come in to save the day, to make
31:34
Speaker 4: sure that Jess is not financially implicated by that. Does
31:37
Speaker 4: that make sense?
31:38
Speaker 6: Totally makes sense.
31:39
Speaker 4: So no, you won't inherit debt. In some other places
31:42
Speaker 4: in the world you can inherit debt, but it is
31:45
Speaker 4: not in Australia. Cool, You're welcome. You're welcome, all right.
31:48
Speaker 4: So I feel like that is a very sticky situation
31:51
Speaker 4: and it's one that needs to be rectified sooner rather
31:53
Speaker 4: than later. I don't have a lot more to say
31:56
Speaker 4: on that except if you need, you know, some additional
31:58
Speaker 4: help and guidance, we're obviously always here dm US and
32:01
Speaker 4: we can help send you in the right direction. As
32:04
Speaker 4: we said, it is not that uncommon. So guys, are
32:07
Speaker 4: you ready? We have the community DMS and I feel
32:10
Speaker 4: like this one's gonna be a little bit relevant for
32:12
Speaker 4: a lot of people, whether you're going through it or
32:14
Speaker 4: planning to go through it. I kind of like that
32:17
Speaker 4: we get this advice before we might go through this.
32:20
Speaker 4: So our DM this week reads, HI, she's on the money.
32:23
Speaker 4: I've come off maternity leave early to work casually from
32:26
Speaker 4: home around bub I'm wanting to save a percent. I
32:29
Speaker 4: was thinking around twenty percent in my personal savings before
32:32
Speaker 4: depositing the remainder into the joint bill's account. My partner
32:35
Speaker 4: thinks this is unfair, since he will be paying for
32:38
Speaker 4: a majority of everything now that my government payments have stopped,
32:42
Speaker 4: and I should be putting it all into this joint one.
32:45
Speaker 4: Am I wrong for wanting this? He's still able to
32:47
Speaker 4: save in his personal account while putting the bare minimum
32:50
Speaker 4: into the joint bill's account. I'm regularly having to ask
32:53
Speaker 4: for tob ups to cover everything that aren't regular bills,
32:56
Speaker 4: for example, baby clothes and stuff like that. And if
32:59
Speaker 4: I want something like if I want to get my
33:01
Speaker 4: hair done, I have to ask for it. Before we
33:04
Speaker 4: had a baby, I was so financially independent. So I'm
33:07
Speaker 4: really struggling having to ask this. I don't feel like
33:10
Speaker 4: he is equal any advice. Oh, I hate this. I
33:14
Speaker 4: hate this so much, so much.
33:18
Speaker 2: It feels very demeaning to have to be asking for money,
33:22
Speaker 2: particularly for like so things like baby clothes, to me,
33:24
Speaker 2: you're essentials, like you have.
33:25
Speaker 4: One hundred percent if you need to clothe your child.
33:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like if you're buying design a baby stuff, then okay,
33:30
Speaker 2: different story.
33:30
Speaker 4: Yeah, but let's pretend for the sake of this conversation
33:32
Speaker 4: it's all just reasonable.
33:34
Speaker 2: Purchases onesies or something, is what I'm assuming, in which
33:36
Speaker 2: case I like, that's not.
33:38
Speaker 4: You do stand a target onesie?
33:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, gorgeous?
33:40
Speaker 1: Like do you know me?
33:41
Speaker 2: Like you just need that. That's not to me, there's
33:44
Speaker 2: no question to join expense. And I think the other thing,
33:48
Speaker 2: and this is something that I've kind of reflected on
33:50
Speaker 2: a lot because, as you guys know, like my partner
33:52
Speaker 2: and I don't share our finances. We have a joint
33:55
Speaker 2: bills account and that's it. And I just thinking about
33:57
Speaker 2: how when you are the prime, very caring parent and
34:01
Speaker 2: you're staying at home and presumably not working, how hard
34:04
Speaker 2: it must be to not be in that position where
34:07
Speaker 2: you have your own money anymore. Yeah. You know, some
34:10
Speaker 2: people obviously just have one big pool and you're like
34:12
Speaker 2: out all of our money is. And in that situation,
34:14
Speaker 2: I see how that would work. But if you are
34:17
Speaker 2: splitting it a different way or doing whatever, like it
34:19
Speaker 2: does seem quite like it seems like it would be
34:22
Speaker 2: hard to image, you know what I mean. And yes,
34:23
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to go to my partner and be like, please, sir,
34:26
Speaker 2: can I get Oh my god, totally like that would
34:28
Speaker 2: make me feel wool, I know.
34:30
Speaker 4: And these are conversations we should be having before we
34:32
Speaker 4: go on maternity leads, a conversation would be having before
34:35
Speaker 4: we even have a baby with someone. It's it's such
34:37
Speaker 4: a shame to think that you are with this person
34:40
Speaker 4: for so long and you're like, Okay, great, I think
34:41
Speaker 4: we're both ready to be parents, and then you have
34:43
Speaker 4: the baby and then you realize, oh, this person thinks
34:46
Speaker 4: I need to ask them for money to buy our
34:49
Speaker 4: baby clothes. Anyway, I just think so many things. First
34:52
Speaker 4: of all, it feels so unfair, so your mind blowing.
34:55
Speaker 4: As I was reading you, like, oh, I'm so angry,
34:58
Speaker 4: I could just see it.
34:59
Speaker 6: Yeah, it feels really really unfair, like to the core
35:02
Speaker 6: of my belly, feels really unfair that this stay at
35:05
Speaker 6: home mother is working twenty four seven. Let's not forget
35:09
Speaker 6: working twenty four to seven, never a mental break. Ever,
35:14
Speaker 6: I'm assuming if the partner comes home and is parenting
35:17
Speaker 6: as well. It's like, cool, we can now share the load,
35:20
Speaker 6: but otherwise you really are working twenty four seven and
35:24
Speaker 6: then you're also trying to squeeze in on top of that,
35:26
Speaker 6: working casually so that you just have a little bit
35:28
Speaker 6: more of money to play with, which is you're absolutely
35:32
Speaker 6: entitled to.
35:33
Speaker 1: It.
35:33
Speaker 6: Just it feels really unfair that one person is going
35:36
Speaker 6: out and making however much they made before the baby
35:41
Speaker 6: and still has the same freedom. I understand it's a
35:43
Speaker 6: little bit more tight now there's only one and a
35:45
Speaker 6: half income coming in. Income's coming in, but you are
35:48
Speaker 6: so entitled to what's it called equity?
35:51
Speaker 4: You know, it's like equity in a relationship.
35:53
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, yes, exactly. So I feel like that's it's
35:56
Speaker 6: just it just it feels the whole thing feels really
35:58
Speaker 6: really unfair, and I'm really sorry that you're going through
36:00
Speaker 6: absolutely more than allowed. I would say, maybe tell your partner, hey,
36:04
Speaker 6: you stay at home, then maybe try and swap roles
36:07
Speaker 6: and see if your partner's okay with that, then you
36:09
Speaker 6: know what I mean. I just it just feel so unfair.
36:11
Speaker 6: I don't even really know how to articulate it. I
36:13
Speaker 6: just feel like it's shed.
36:15
Speaker 2: There was such a good thread in the Facebook group
36:17
Speaker 2: a week and a half ago, maybe a little bit more,
36:19
Speaker 2: and it was a conversation around a stay at home parent,
36:22
Speaker 2: and again, like her husband in this scenario was the
36:25
Speaker 2: one working full time, she was staying at home, And
36:27
Speaker 2: it was another conversation around money, and somebody brought up
36:31
Speaker 2: the really great point that if the mum went back
36:33
Speaker 2: to work and worked full time so that she could
36:35
Speaker 2: contribute equally in the way that her partner was, the
36:38
Speaker 2: cost of the house cleaner, the chef, the full time daycare,
36:42
Speaker 2: the cost to cover all of the labor that she
36:44
Speaker 2: was carrying at home would far exceed what she would
36:48
Speaker 2: then bring in and contribute quote unquote to that shared account.
36:53
Speaker 2: So it sounds like he's just not you know, he's going, oh, well,
36:55
Speaker 2: you need to contribute a similar amount to me or whatever.
36:58
Speaker 2: He's not accounting for any of that.
37:00
Speaker 5: Totally.
37:01
Speaker 4: Yeah. I have a few spicy opinions on this, but
37:04
Speaker 4: I think the first thing is we can learn a
37:06
Speaker 4: lot from this. DM. Yes, So I think this gives
37:09
Speaker 4: us the opportunity that if you're thinking about children with
37:12
Speaker 4: a partner, or maybe you don't even have a partner,
37:13
Speaker 4: you just know that this is a conversation you need
37:15
Speaker 4: to be having before you have kids, Like what does
37:18
Speaker 4: money look like once you have a child?
37:20
Speaker 1: Like?
37:20
Speaker 4: Am I going to have to ask you for cash
37:23
Speaker 4: if I'm not working? How will we mitigate that? Also,
37:26
Speaker 4: what a reasonable expense is for me to be having
37:28
Speaker 4: Walam or matt Leeve? Like what does my lifestyle look like?
37:32
Speaker 4: Should I, you know, be allocating some cash to the
37:35
Speaker 4: side because you know, I'm a mum man to be honest, like,
37:39
Speaker 4: as a new mum, who I'm not the primary care
37:42
Speaker 4: I mean I was for a number of weeks at
37:44
Speaker 4: the start, but now my husband is a stay at
37:46
Speaker 4: home husband. For now I'm not the primary care. But
37:49
Speaker 4: I can't imagine my husband not getting out of the
37:51
Speaker 4: house and going and getting a coffee, Like he would
37:54
Speaker 4: go up the wall if he couldn't go for that
37:56
Speaker 4: walk and get a coffee and you know, not just
37:58
Speaker 4: talk baby all day until I got home, Right, So
38:01
Speaker 4: I think is that reasonable to talk about, you know,
38:03
Speaker 4: the coffees that you would have. You know, Jess is blonde.
38:06
Speaker 4: If you're going to have a baby, Jess, is it
38:09
Speaker 4: expected that you'd be able to maintain you know, your
38:11
Speaker 4: haircuts and maybe you go get nails, Like are these
38:13
Speaker 4: things that you know are reasonable? Or are these things
38:16
Speaker 4: that we're cutting? Also, what's your partner cutting? So like,
38:20
Speaker 4: I feel like so many times the conversation comes down
38:24
Speaker 4: to being like, yeah, we had to really tighten up
38:26
Speaker 4: the budget. And I'm seeing this on TikTok a lot,
38:28
Speaker 4: and I'm not commenting or engaging in this. I'm just
38:30
Speaker 4: seeing a narrative where these women are starting to share
38:33
Speaker 4: their household budgets now they're on maternity leave, and I
38:36
Speaker 4: think that that is fantastic and so transparent and I
38:39
Speaker 4: adore it. I'm so pervy too, I just want to
38:41
Speaker 4: know everyone's budget. So I'm like holding it. I watch
38:44
Speaker 4: it on two time speed, like you best believe, watched
38:46
Speaker 4: every second of it. But what I'm noticing is they're like, yep,
38:49
Speaker 4: so we cut down the household budget. Like I'm not
38:51
Speaker 4: getting nails. You know, I don't play netball anymore, so
38:54
Speaker 4: I don't have that fee. Haha. I can't do it
38:56
Speaker 4: anyway because I've just had a baby. And then like
38:59
Speaker 4: they're talking about all the things that they've sacrificed in
39:01
Speaker 4: their budget. But when you take a deeper look, it's
39:04
Speaker 4: all stuff she's sacrificing in her budget, and I'm like, well,
39:07
Speaker 4: what does he sacrifice, Like you haven't mentioned that he's not,
39:10
Speaker 4: you know, buying new shoes, or you haven't mentioned that
39:12
Speaker 4: he's not playing golf if that's for him, or you know,
39:15
Speaker 4: he might have footy club fees, or like he might
39:18
Speaker 4: have Friday night drinks with the boys. And it's very stereotypical.
39:22
Speaker 4: But often, and this is again very is stereotypical, and
39:25
Speaker 4: it is not true for everybody, but often when you
39:28
Speaker 4: have issues like this, the men are like, well, I'm
39:30
Speaker 4: still going to go out for drinks on a Friday.
39:33
Speaker 4: Well I have to because I need to wind down
39:35
Speaker 4: from work, but like, you're not getting that same opportunity,
39:38
Speaker 4: and somehow that's still in the budget. But then you've
39:41
Speaker 4: got mum who's scrimping at home, probably deserves the coffee
39:44
Speaker 4: walk to go out grab a latte for her mental health,
39:48
Speaker 4: but she's making coffees at home, and like, please, don't
39:51
Speaker 4: get me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but
39:54
Speaker 4: I just see this power imbalance, and you know, someone's
39:57
Speaker 4: social life being prioritized over the others because they're the
40:00
Speaker 4: primary care So for me, I agree we're not having
40:04
Speaker 4: these conversations early enough. Steve and I definitely had them
40:07
Speaker 4: because we had to talk about what that looks like.
40:10
Speaker 4: I've spoken publicly on the podcast before about the way
40:13
Speaker 4: Steve and I manage money, and we managed it exactly
40:16
Speaker 4: the same as just us prior to owning property together.
40:20
Speaker 4: But the second we had a mortgage, it honestly financially
40:23
Speaker 4: made the most sense for us to be putting all
40:25
Speaker 4: of our income into the offset account so that it
40:28
Speaker 4: can offset the interest that we are paying on our mortgage, right,
40:31
Speaker 4: Like saves us money, right, And so we started having
40:34
Speaker 4: this conversation about, well, do we have separate offset accounts
40:37
Speaker 4: and you know, separate our money or do we have
40:39
Speaker 4: one together? And like, from my perspective, we were building
40:43
Speaker 4: this life together, and I was like, well, my financial
40:46
Speaker 4: decisions impact you. So it's kind of an US thing.
40:50
Speaker 1: You know.
40:50
Speaker 4: If I'm saving for something, it's kind of a we
40:53
Speaker 4: a saving for something because there's not a lot in
40:55
Speaker 4: my life right now that's like a Victoria cost. It's
40:59
Speaker 4: like a we would like to go on a holiday,
41:01
Speaker 4: that's a family cost. So that is where we moved.
41:05
Speaker 4: And then now we've had a kid, it's way better
41:08
Speaker 4: for us. For us personally, that doesn't work for everybody.
41:11
Speaker 4: I've had clients historically who keep their incomes completely separate.
41:15
Speaker 4: They have kids, they retire, it's still separate, and it
41:18
Speaker 4: works perfectly for them. There is no one size fits all.
41:21
Speaker 4: But it sounds like there needs to be more open
41:24
Speaker 4: money conversations in this family because if you've got a
41:28
Speaker 4: kid and you're having to ask for money, I don't
41:31
Speaker 4: think that that means you've got a good enough budget.
41:34
Speaker 4: It means that we need to go back to the
41:36
Speaker 4: drawing board. Like please, don't get me wrong, it's not
41:39
Speaker 4: about what you're spending money on and that you have
41:41
Speaker 4: to ask, Like it could just be the electricity bill.
41:44
Speaker 4: You're like, oh, can you transfer me a hundred bucks
41:46
Speaker 4: I owe or we owe x on our electricity. It's
41:50
Speaker 4: just not clean enough budgeting because baby clothes should be
41:54
Speaker 4: in the budget, like things should be allocated for and
41:57
Speaker 4: we should have a joint fund for that. Letely agree
42:00
Speaker 4: with you having separate savings on both sides, but that
42:04
Speaker 4: actually needs to be talked about after our basic needs
42:07
Speaker 4: have been met. So if we do a budget and
42:10
Speaker 4: work out what is our income and what are our
42:12
Speaker 4: expenses and what does that look like? We need to
42:15
Speaker 4: cover our butts before we start talking about savings. Like,
42:19
Speaker 4: I totally agree with you keeping something for yourself, but
42:22
Speaker 4: if you're thinking I'd like to save twenty percent before
42:24
Speaker 4: depositing it into the bills account, I think that's a
42:28
Speaker 4: backwards way of managing finances. And like, I know, there's
42:31
Speaker 4: not a one size fits all when it comes to
42:33
Speaker 4: managing money, but I do believe that you should be
42:36
Speaker 4: covering your expenses first and having a look at all
42:38
Speaker 4: your expenses. Where can we cut down. Are we happy
42:41
Speaker 4: with everything coming in and going out of our accounts,
42:44
Speaker 4: then we should be talking about savings. We're in the
42:46
Speaker 4: middle of a cost of living crisis, and I feel
42:49
Speaker 4: like there might be a bit of a disconnect between
42:51
Speaker 4: you saying I'd love to save twenty percent of my income,
42:54
Speaker 4: but also I have to ask my partner to spend
42:57
Speaker 4: money on baby clothes. Like I feel like we might
42:59
Speaker 4: not be on the same page when it comes to
43:02
Speaker 4: what's coming in and what's going out. And I'm not
43:04
Speaker 4: saying your partner is right by any stretch of the imagination.
43:08
Speaker 4: And you are definitely not wrong for wanting this because
43:11
Speaker 4: I think you're wanting your own financial independence. You're your
43:13
Speaker 4: own financial freedom, which is really important, but that should
43:16
Speaker 4: be in the budget too, Like your emergency fund should
43:19
Speaker 4: be something that jointly you're contributing to, even if your
43:23
Speaker 4: partner can't access it. Same for him, he should have
43:26
Speaker 4: an emergency fund. I think everybody should have one. But
43:29
Speaker 4: I think that this conversation actually needs to go back
43:32
Speaker 4: to basics and go all right, well, what are our expenses?
43:34
Speaker 4: How much do we need to contribute to our joint
43:37
Speaker 4: account to keep the roof over our head, our kid clothed,
43:40
Speaker 4: and our food on the table, right, and then whatever's
43:43
Speaker 4: left over from that? What are we talking about? How
43:47
Speaker 4: much of that amount are you keeping in your joint account?
43:50
Speaker 4: Do you have joint savings? Should we be contributing to that?
43:53
Speaker 4: What does that wealth journey look like? Is that fair
43:57
Speaker 4: to say that the entire thing needs to be scrapped
43:59
Speaker 4: and we go back to the drawing board.
44:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, and when doing so, just kindly reminding your partner that,
44:04
Speaker 2: like looking after a child, despite the fact that it's
44:06
Speaker 2: probably the worst paying job in the world, is in
44:08
Speaker 2: fact a job like.
44:09
Speaker 4: Totally I feel like we shouldn't have to ask our
44:11
Speaker 4: partner to cover a basic necessity in our house, like
44:16
Speaker 4: it should be a conversation no, And to be honest,
44:18
Speaker 4: I feel like your partner should be on board with
44:20
Speaker 4: that cost too. We're not asking for permission, but we're
44:23
Speaker 4: letting them know. Oh hey, did you know that it
44:24
Speaker 4: costs this much? Because if they're not in control of that,
44:28
Speaker 4: it's like the unpaid labor that women have on top
44:31
Speaker 4: of all of the other pieces of unpaid labor we do, right,
44:34
Speaker 4: Like it's more mental load, Like I know that. And
44:37
Speaker 4: I'm not saying my partner doesn't do this because he's
44:39
Speaker 4: fantastic at it, but like I'm thinking, wow, okay, Harvey's
44:42
Speaker 4: four months now, He's going to be six months soon,
44:45
Speaker 4: Like do we need to go shopping for some clothes?
44:48
Speaker 4: Like I don't actually know because I haven't spoken to
44:51
Speaker 4: my part or about this. Does he know how much
44:52
Speaker 4: ones he's cost?
44:54
Speaker 5: Like?
44:54
Speaker 4: How many do we need in his wardrobe? How much
44:57
Speaker 4: does this actually cost us?
44:58
Speaker 1: So?
44:59
Speaker 4: Is your partner away of these things? Does he know
45:01
Speaker 4: how much the nappy cream is? Does he know how
45:03
Speaker 4: much nappies are? Do you know how much that has
45:05
Speaker 4: increased your grocery bill?
45:07
Speaker 1: So?
45:07
Speaker 4: I think it's important to have these conversations because I'm
45:10
Speaker 4: hoping that the outcome of this is him going, oh,
45:13
Speaker 4: I didn't realize. Sorry, Yeah, yeah, we can just fix
45:16
Speaker 4: that and then it's all simple and done and dusted.
45:19
Speaker 4: But the fact that you've taken the time to write
45:21
Speaker 4: this message in I think it needs a little bit
45:23
Speaker 4: more budget planning.
45:25
Speaker 2: Yes, whateveryone else say so, you guys are cue today?
45:30
Speaker 1: All right?
45:31
Speaker 4: So we asked the community, do you think it sounds
45:33
Speaker 4: like the partner is forgetting about the unpaid full time
45:36
Speaker 4: job of a stay at home parent. Twenty seven percent
45:41
Speaker 4: said yes, Beck's looking at me and going what the
45:45
Speaker 4: heck it's because seventy percent said yes times two and
45:50
Speaker 4: two percent said no.
45:52
Speaker 2: But a lot of people clicked it accidentally and message
45:54
Speaker 2: us to say I clicked the robber button. I think
45:58
Speaker 2: I'm rude.
46:00
Speaker 4: We then asked you guys, all right, can you give
46:02
Speaker 4: us some tips on how to navigate contributions to a
46:05
Speaker 4: joint account when one person takes time off work to
46:08
Speaker 4: raise a child. Lots of conversation about this one in
46:12
Speaker 4: our DMS this week, so there's lots of different things
46:15
Speaker 4: that work for lots of different people. One person said,
46:17
Speaker 4: all money into one account and then equal amounts into
46:20
Speaker 4: personal accounts. We do seventy five dollars each week. Someone
46:24
Speaker 4: else said, make sure that the stay our home parents
46:26
Speaker 4: still has superannuation contributions. Very important, very important. Someone else said,
46:31
Speaker 4: talk it would have been better to have these conversations
46:34
Speaker 4: before having a kid totally, But we can't go back
46:37
Speaker 4: in time, can we.
46:38
Speaker 2: That's very true late now, late now.
46:40
Speaker 4: We're doing the best that we can. Next person said,
46:43
Speaker 4: if you have a child together, you should be stable
46:45
Speaker 4: enough for money to be a joint thing. I mean,
46:48
Speaker 4: in a perfect world, yes, but that doesn't mean that
46:51
Speaker 4: you meant to have a child. It also doesn't mean
46:54
Speaker 4: that you decided at a stable point in your life
46:58
Speaker 4: to have a child, like lots of people have children
47:02
Speaker 4: for lots of different reasons. Like we heard on the
47:04
Speaker 4: podcast a couple of weeks ago on Money Diaries about
47:07
Speaker 4: a girl who was told that if she didn't have
47:10
Speaker 4: kids within the next year, it wouldn't happen for her.
47:12
Speaker 4: And she was relatively young, and she's in a situation
47:15
Speaker 4: where her partner was significantly younger than her, and she
47:19
Speaker 4: was like, well, I could have kids, but it's not
47:20
Speaker 4: right for my relationship. Like, what do I do?
47:22
Speaker 5: So?
47:22
Speaker 4: I think that, Yes, I agree, in a perfect world
47:26
Speaker 4: we should be financially stable, but that does not mean
47:29
Speaker 4: that we are, and we're all just doing the best
47:31
Speaker 4: that we can. Someone else has said personal savings need
47:34
Speaker 4: to be divided equally between both parties, regardless of their contribution.
47:38
Speaker 2: Yes fair.
47:39
Speaker 4: Someone else to combine money and take an allowance for
47:42
Speaker 4: your personal expenditure. Seeing a theme, someone else said, I
47:46
Speaker 4: think you need to restructure bill amounts to include everything
47:49
Speaker 4: for baby, because that's actually a joint expense. Too.
47:52
Speaker 5: True.
47:52
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I like this person's thought pattern because it's basically mine.
47:57
Speaker 4: Sounds like you need to do a budget reassessment. Really,
48:00
Speaker 4: he was so smart. I love this. Actually I just
48:02
Speaker 4: steal all my answers from the DMS. Yeah I'm check
48:06
Speaker 4: out what Yeah yeah, Like you're stealing your homework from
48:09
Speaker 4: your partner, I'm stealing from the community.
48:12
Speaker 6: You're allowed in that case.
48:13
Speaker 4: Someone said, just add the cost of care and send
48:15
Speaker 4: him a bill. Wild Someone said, please make sure you're
48:19
Speaker 4: looking after your super And then there were just lots
48:21
Speaker 4: of people saying communication is the key here. You both
48:24
Speaker 4: need to be on the same page. But then we
48:26
Speaker 4: asked the community. We're like, well, do you have any
48:28
Speaker 4: advice specific to this community member, and they said, if
48:32
Speaker 4: he doesn't like it, he should be the one that
48:34
Speaker 4: stays home with baby. Yes, and that's Beck's idea. Someone said,
48:37
Speaker 4: he can stay home if he likes I love that.
48:40
Speaker 4: You guys are all like, well, you do it, literally,
48:42
Speaker 4: you do it, sir, see how easy it is. Someone
48:45
Speaker 4: else said, divorce extreme. You all are dramatics sometimes. I mean,
48:50
Speaker 4: I'm here for it because they want to know the
48:52
Speaker 4: tea and I like reading it, but I'm also like, cool,
48:54
Speaker 4: please don't take that too dramatically.
48:56
Speaker 2: Let's work through some steps before we Yeah, let's.
49:00
Speaker 4: Communication could actually solve this problem. Someone said, suggest a
49:04
Speaker 4: joint account for the kid, So I think that could
49:07
Speaker 4: work really well as well. Someone said, you can chat
49:10
Speaker 4: to a financial counselor about how to approach the situation
49:13
Speaker 4: in more depth, which I think is actually a really
49:15
Speaker 4: good idea because sometimes obviously this is just a DM
49:20
Speaker 4: and we can't give you enough nuanced advice. But if
49:22
Speaker 4: you chatted to a financial counselor from our friends at
49:25
Speaker 4: the debt helpline, that would be really good. And then
49:28
Speaker 4: someone else said sit down with him and go through
49:31
Speaker 4: the budget, which I think is the most important thing
49:33
Speaker 4: here right, Like, to me, this is really important. I
49:36
Speaker 4: think it's also really important here to point out the
49:39
Speaker 4: coercive control in finances is actually financial abuse. Yes, and
49:45
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that that's what's happening here, but there
49:47
Speaker 4: were a few little, you know, maybe orange flags to
49:50
Speaker 4: me that this was not a situation that was healthy,
49:53
Speaker 4: And I think it's really important to call that out
49:55
Speaker 4: because financial abuse comes in lots of different colors, shades
50:00
Speaker 4: and ways, and having money withheld is financial abuse if
50:04
Speaker 4: it's for things that you need to spend money on.
50:06
Speaker 4: Even just feeling ick about it is a conversation you
50:09
Speaker 4: need to be having. So I think that's unfortunately guys,
50:12
Speaker 4: all we have time for today. But I think that
50:14
Speaker 4: that's kind of a good rap, like just making sure
50:17
Speaker 4: that on the surface it is what it is, but
50:20
Speaker 4: making sure that we're educated about it turning into something
50:23
Speaker 4: you don't want it to. Yeah, great advice if that's
50:27
Speaker 4: something that you are worried about, though, the best number
50:30
Speaker 4: to call is one eight hundred. Respect. They do really
50:33
Speaker 4: great work and can send you to the people that
50:35
Speaker 4: you need, and then obviously if you do think you're
50:37
Speaker 4: in serious trouble, always called triple zero. Yeah, but we'll
50:41
Speaker 4: see you next week. Guys, sorry, did you forget something?
50:44
Speaker 4: It's Jess's birthday, having birthday jests. We'll do this again
50:51
Speaker 4: in three hundred and sixty five days. Ways, the advice
51:02
Speaker 4: shared on She's on the Money is general in nature
51:05
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