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MONEY DIARIES: From Anxiety Disorder to Healing Her Money Trauma · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 4: Millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another shot
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Speaker 4: back money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to
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Speaker 4: one of our community members to learn all about them
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Speaker 4: and their story and their money and all of the
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Speaker 4: fun bits and pieces in between.
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Speaker 2: Victoria, of course, I'm ready, Jess Oh, I knew you
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Speaker 2: would be.
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Speaker 4: Let me tell you all about today's diarists, She says, Hi, girls,
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Speaker 4: I've heard you mentioned the concept of money trauma on
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Speaker 4: recent episodes of the podcast, and we'd love to share
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Speaker 4: my story of how I have healed my relationship with
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Speaker 4: money after a few traumatic instances with my finances over
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Speaker 4: the past few years. I'd also love to speak about
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Speaker 4: how money impacts my anxiety disorder and my mental health
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Speaker 4: concerns A queen and we get to have a chat
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Speaker 4: with her. How special and we've got her on the line.
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Speaker 4: How are you going, money diarists.
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Speaker 2: And very well, thank you so much for having me.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Money Direst told us before Jess that
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Speaker 2: she's been listening to the podcast since season one, so
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Speaker 2: she's an Ogy listener and that makes my heart so
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Speaker 2: incredibly happy. I said to her before. I was like,
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Speaker 2: so basically we're best friends. Yeah, is that what that means?
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Speaker 2: I think she said yes, But even if she said no,
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Speaker 2: I'm going to say yes in my brain. Yes, Money Direst.
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Speaker 2: Are you ready to jump writing because I'm so excited. Yes, absolutely,
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Speaker 2: all right, let's do this. So to start off, as always,
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Speaker 2: question number one, can you tell us a little bit
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Speaker 2: about your money story?
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Speaker 3: So my money story has kind of been a bit
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Speaker 3: of a rollercoaster over the past few years, Like I
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Speaker 3: hated money for such a long time, Like I saw
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Speaker 3: it as something that just brought so much pain, and
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Speaker 3: I just hated it. Had such such a bad relationship
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Speaker 3: with it. I wanted nothing to do with it. It used
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Speaker 3: to cause me so much distress. But now I guess
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Speaker 3: I've worked through quite a few things, like the show
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Speaker 3: and like my partner now like has helped me kind of,
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Speaker 3: I guess, navigate the challenging parts of money and knowing
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Speaker 3: that I'm able to actually manage my own money and
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Speaker 3: that I'm worthy of money. If that makes sense, I
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Speaker 3: don't know. It's very confusing.
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Speaker 2: You are worthy, You are so worthy of my love.
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Speaker 3: It was once I finish I used to be really
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Speaker 3: good with like saving and everything. I used to work
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Speaker 3: at like a tire restaurant at her whole twelve dollars
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Speaker 3: an hour and made like two hundred and fifty dollars
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Speaker 3: a fortnight, and I thought that was like the most money.
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Speaker 2: I've all been there. We have all been there, yes.
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Speaker 3: And so I used to be really good with savings.
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Speaker 3: By the time I finished year twelve, I had like
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Speaker 3: four thousand dollars in the bank. I didn't have any
3:18
Speaker 3: plans for it, but it was there. And then once
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Speaker 3: I left Year twelve and got to UNI. It all
3:23
Speaker 3: just went downhill from there. I think it was a
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Speaker 3: combination of like mental health issues impacting money and like
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Speaker 3: spending habits. And once I realized I could access my
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Speaker 3: savings and then spend it, that's where it all went downhill.
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Speaker 3: So I kept thinking, Oh, I'll just I'll put it
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Speaker 3: back in next pay It's fine. That's a lie that
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Speaker 3: never happened.
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Speaker 2: That's so common though, That is so common.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I set up with no money and fast
3:48
Speaker 3: forward a while, I moved out of home and because
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Speaker 3: I really needed to for my relationship with my mama
3:53
Speaker 3: was not doing very well and I needed to get
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Speaker 3: out of living with her, And so I moved out
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Speaker 3: of home with no money at all in savings or
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Speaker 3: like just zero dollars in my bank account. My dad
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Speaker 3: said he would help me sort of like pay rent
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Speaker 3: and all of that, and like for that first few
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Speaker 3: months while I like worked part time and saved and everything.
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Speaker 3: But then I think I didn't realize the cost of
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Speaker 3: living out of home. So I was only working part
4:21
Speaker 3: time because I had a few other health issues I
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Speaker 3: was going through at the time, so I couldn't work
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Speaker 3: full time and i'd taken a gap year from UNI.
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Speaker 3: So I was earning I think, like eight hundred and
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Speaker 3: fifty dollars a fortnight, and then my rent was going
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Speaker 3: to be six hundred dollars a fortnight. But in my
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Speaker 3: brain I hadn't thought, which is already way too much
4:37
Speaker 3: rent to be paying on that salary. I'm always aware
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Speaker 3: of that now, But in my brain I hadn't thought, Oh,
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Speaker 3: I have to pay six hundred dollars and then I
4:43
Speaker 3: have two hundred and fifty left over. It was like,
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Speaker 3: I'm earning eight hundred and fifty dollars, so I had
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Speaker 3: eight hundred fifty dollars to spend. And then I'd yeah,
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Speaker 3: so common, you know what I mean? So no, the same.
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Speaker 4: Thing happened when I moved out of home as well,
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Speaker 4: Like you just don't realize that everything like existing costs
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Speaker 4: money as an adult.
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Speaker 3: Care and there's like groceries and just like needing to
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Speaker 3: buy little things like you know, like having to go
5:06
Speaker 3: to Kmart and buy like a spachelor at one am because.
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Speaker 2: You've realized that you don't just don't know what sort
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Speaker 2: of thing. So kiper towel got me. I was like,
5:14
Speaker 2: what do you mean I have to pay for paper town.
5:17
Speaker 4: So tru light bulb goes out, you got to buy
5:19
Speaker 4: a light bulb. It what seems like a scam.
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Speaker 2: Scam, Lena, I don't need lenan. Are you joking? Having
5:28
Speaker 2: to actually buy the vacuum to do the vacuum cleaning?
5:31
Speaker 2: What are you talking about, sir?
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Speaker 4: Yeah?
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Speaker 2: I could go on about this forever, like why do
5:35
Speaker 2: I have to pay for floor cleaner?
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Speaker 3: Yes? So trude exactly So, Yes, slipping was just expensive.
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Speaker 3: I didn't realize it. And my dad was amazing and
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Speaker 3: he really did help me out where I needed it.
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Speaker 3: But I think where it all went downhill for me
5:47
Speaker 3: is I got into lots of problems with after pay,
5:49
Speaker 3: I like over overused it, and I ended up being like,
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Speaker 3: I cannot pay back these repayments. It's not happening. But
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Speaker 3: I was really lucky that my family were like, look,
5:58
Speaker 3: we will help you out this time. But I'm a
6:01
Speaker 3: very independent person. I was raised to be very independent
6:05
Speaker 3: and to always be able to look after yourself, and
6:08
Speaker 3: knowing that I had to rely so heavily on people
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Speaker 3: for money was really hard, like a hard concept for
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Speaker 3: me to grasp. I think where it all really really
6:18
Speaker 3: really went downhill for me was. I ended up realizing
6:21
Speaker 3: I couldn't afford the rent in the place I was living,
6:25
Speaker 3: so I moved in with a friend of my partners
6:28
Speaker 3: at the time, and I ended up getting really really
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Speaker 3: badly screwed over in that whole thing, and the long
6:36
Speaker 3: story short of it, I ended up completely completely flat
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Speaker 3: broke with zero dollars and five hundred dollars on a
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Speaker 3: credit card, like maxed out, no money, and I ended
6:47
Speaker 3: up with a dog that wasn't mine to begin with,
6:50
Speaker 3: but I ended up being my responsibility. And then I
6:55
Speaker 3: went to my family again for help because I really
6:58
Speaker 3: needed at that time, not because I'd spent my after
7:00
Speaker 3: pay or whatever, because I had nowhere to live. I
7:02
Speaker 3: had to move out. I had nowhere to live, I
7:04
Speaker 3: had no money in a bank account, a lot of
7:06
Speaker 3: health problems that require a lot of money. And this
7:11
Speaker 3: one particular family member that I went to, who we
7:14
Speaker 3: do rely on them with quite a bit to help
7:16
Speaker 3: us with money because they're relatively wealthy and their way
7:18
Speaker 3: of like expressing love is to pay for things for us.
7:21
Speaker 3: So I went and I was like hoping, you know
7:24
Speaker 3: that they will be able to help me.
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Speaker 2: It would sort itself out.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, but he ended up saying I can't remember exactly
7:30
Speaker 3: what he said, but the gist of it was, you're
7:33
Speaker 3: going to be left completely alone. No one's ever going
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Speaker 3: to want to help you. If you can't look after
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Speaker 3: yourself financially, no one's going to assist you anymore, Like
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Speaker 3: no one's ever going to want you, and like you're
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Speaker 3: basically worthless if you're not able to save your money
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Speaker 3: and like do good things with your money. But at
7:50
Speaker 3: that time, I was like, well, it was like an
7:52
Speaker 3: attack on this puppy that my housemate had bought, and
7:55
Speaker 3: it was like the option was either to let this
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Speaker 3: dog die, who was six weeks old, or to like
8:01
Speaker 3: rescue her.
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Speaker 2: No, what the hell you're scaring me anything involving animals.
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Speaker 3: I'm like, right, well, the good thing is she's fine now,
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Speaker 3: she's fantastic. They managed to fix her leg and she
8:11
Speaker 3: lists my dad now and she's thriving and wonderful, so
8:14
Speaker 3: it's all good. But it was kind of like, you know,
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Speaker 3: I was trying to do a good thing and it
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Speaker 3: ended up just completely screwed over from it. And from
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Speaker 3: that moment on, like money became such a horrible anxiety
8:28
Speaker 3: trigger for me.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god.
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Speaker 3: Anytime it would come up, I get so anxious and
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Speaker 3: overwhelmed that I just like shut down and I don't
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Speaker 3: want anything to do with it. And it's taken me
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Speaker 3: a really long time and like a lot of like
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Speaker 3: reading finance books, listening to this podcast, like talking things
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Speaker 3: through with my partner just sort of realize like money
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Speaker 3: can be a positive thing.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, it can be afford.
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Speaker 3: Good things, Like it's not designed to just cause you
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Speaker 3: lots of pain all the time.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, I'm loving this narrative because I feel like
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Speaker 2: it's really relatable. Like, you know, we might not have
9:07
Speaker 2: been in your exact shoes, but the way you articulated,
9:10
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I can totally feel that, Like I
9:12
Speaker 2: can totally understand that.
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Speaker 3: I think one of the biggest problems that I had
9:16
Speaker 3: was because I come from a pretty well off family.
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Speaker 3: Like we're not rich, but we're also not poor, Like
9:22
Speaker 3: we were never like I went to a private school.
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Speaker 3: We always like my parents both own their houses, Like
9:28
Speaker 3: they have very well paying jobs. Like we never went
9:31
Speaker 3: without anything. We didn't get everything we ever wanted, like
9:34
Speaker 3: we weren't spoiled, but you know, we always had the
9:37
Speaker 3: good clothes, the good shoes, and you know, we got
9:39
Speaker 3: to go to extracurriculus, so we had all of that.
9:41
Speaker 3: So when I was always thinking about like money, trauma
9:44
Speaker 3: or like you know, having issues with money, I thinking
9:46
Speaker 3: people who like are genuinely like struggling, I have no money,
9:50
Speaker 3: Like they're really really poor, and I'm not in a
9:54
Speaker 3: position with that. So I always felt that I wasn't
9:57
Speaker 3: justified to like feel anxious about money because I have
10:01
Speaker 3: a seemingly good life with my money. I don't know,
10:04
Speaker 3: does that make sense?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, it makes sense. And I think that that's
10:08
Speaker 2: something that our whole community could probably resonate with. And
10:12
Speaker 2: that's that sometimes we look at other circumstances and we're like,
10:15
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, why do I feel so bad? Like
10:17
Speaker 2: I've got no reason to. And I don't think that
10:20
Speaker 2: that is healthy. I think that downplaying our own experiences
10:24
Speaker 2: because somebody else has it worse does not help us
10:27
Speaker 2: get through our own circumstances and doesn't help us get
10:30
Speaker 2: through our own traumas. Because even if your trauma is
10:34
Speaker 2: quote on paper, smaller than somebody else's, it doesn't mean
10:37
Speaker 2: that it's not significant to you. It's kind of like
10:40
Speaker 2: you know, if somebody floated through life and had nothing
10:43
Speaker 2: happened to them significantly, and then all of a sudden
10:46
Speaker 2: their parents divorced, that might be the biggest thing in
10:49
Speaker 2: their entire life and it might throw them for six.
10:52
Speaker 2: Whereas someone who grew up in an abusive household for
10:55
Speaker 2: their entire lives and then, you know, went through lots
10:57
Speaker 2: of different traumas and then their parents divorced might be like, oh, whatever,
11:01
Speaker 2: that's another thing that happened and that didn't impact me
11:04
Speaker 2: because they've had different circumstances. And I just think that
11:07
Speaker 2: we all should stop comparing, because comparing just leads to
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Speaker 2: one anxiety, but two it doesn't help you. Looking at
11:14
Speaker 2: somebody else's circumstances can be inspirational. It's why we do
11:17
Speaker 2: money daries to show you different you know, ways that
11:21
Speaker 2: people live in different experiences. But it's not to show
11:24
Speaker 2: you this is how you should be. It's to show
11:26
Speaker 2: you that we're all different and that's kind of cool.
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Speaker 2: But you can't compare your journey to that of others,
11:31
Speaker 2: because if you do, you're going to find yourself in
11:32
Speaker 2: a massive pickle. Anyway, we can go off on another
11:35
Speaker 2: rant another day, but yeah, I just think it's so
11:40
Speaker 2: destructive of us to be comparing ourselves to others or
11:43
Speaker 2: saying like, oh, I feel bad like I am privileged. Yeah,
11:45
Speaker 2: you're right, but that doesn't mean that you aren't upset
11:47
Speaker 2: or it doesn't mean that you aren't struggling.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
11:50
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, Sorry, we can move on, jess as like,
11:52
Speaker 2: come on, stick to the questions.
11:54
Speaker 4: No, not at all, but I'm excited to talk to
11:56
Speaker 4: a little bit more on the other side of the
11:58
Speaker 4: break for sure.
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Speaker 2: I agree. Great, Sorry, sorry, next structured question is what
12:04
Speaker 2: do you do for work right now and how much
12:05
Speaker 2: money do you earn?
12:07
Speaker 3: Okay, so, right now, I work at an occupational therapy
12:10
Speaker 3: clinic working with kids with disabilities basically what we do.
12:13
Speaker 3: I'm working in reception and an administration assistant right now.
12:16
Speaker 3: I work part time, so twenty four hours a week. Currently,
12:20
Speaker 3: the full time salary sixty five thousand a year, but
12:24
Speaker 3: I obviously get pro raight that. I think it works
12:26
Speaker 3: out to be about forty five thousand a year at
12:28
Speaker 3: the moment. That gets about thirteen hundred dollars a fortnight
12:31
Speaker 3: in my bank account, if that means anything. And yeah,
12:34
Speaker 3: I'm at UNI as well full time. This is my
12:36
Speaker 3: last semester, so I excited for that to be over
12:39
Speaker 3: so I can be working full time next year. But yeah,
12:43
Speaker 3: that's what I do at the moment.
12:44
Speaker 2: How are you finding uni A, You're getting through it?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been doing this degree for like six years,
12:50
Speaker 3: so I'm so over it. Yeah, I'm just ready for
12:53
Speaker 3: it to be done. I'm taking a second year course
12:55
Speaker 3: this semester in all of the people in the course
12:58
Speaker 3: are like, you know, fresh nineteen year olds who are
13:01
Speaker 3: taking their degrees so seriously, and I'm just like, I've
13:04
Speaker 3: been here for six years. I just want to pass.
13:06
Speaker 2: I feel like I've become a mature age student. Please
13:09
Speaker 2: get to.
13:09
Speaker 3: Greet I've become one of those.
13:13
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, don't sit up the front and ask
13:15
Speaker 2: all the questions. Though after everyone wants to leave.
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Speaker 3: I know, I don't. Don't worry like right at the
13:19
Speaker 3: back of the lectures here like please don't look at
13:21
Speaker 3: me to learn and leave.
13:23
Speaker 2: That was me towards the end of my unique career.
13:26
Speaker 2: I suppose we could call it and I would love
13:28
Speaker 2: to go back. Can be another military age student. I've
13:30
Speaker 2: got this. I want to know what is currently your
13:33
Speaker 2: big money goal?
13:35
Speaker 3: So I've got two at the moment, so my partner
13:37
Speaker 3: I really want to buy a house. That's one of
13:39
Speaker 3: our big things. But I live in an area where
13:42
Speaker 3: the house prices are unbelievably expensive. So yeah, we've got
13:46
Speaker 3: to kind of see whether or not it's worth buying
13:50
Speaker 3: right now or whether we just rent for a while.
13:53
Speaker 3: I'm trying to convince my partner that it is actually
13:54
Speaker 3: okay to rent. We don't have to buy anything right now, necessarily,
13:58
Speaker 3: but he's got in his head that we're buying. So
14:00
Speaker 3: that's something I'm saving for, which I'm excited for. But
14:02
Speaker 3: we're also getting married next year in September, so that's
14:06
Speaker 3: also something we have to say for exciting.
14:09
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, when did you get engaged? Sorry, Jess,
14:11
Speaker 2: this is important content.
14:14
Speaker 3: We got engaged on our third year anniversary, actually in May.
14:17
Speaker 2: This congratulations. I'll ask about that after the break. I
14:21
Speaker 2: have lots of questions. Wedding life is consuming me. Yeah,
14:25
Speaker 2: next question, do you currently have any investments? If so,
14:28
Speaker 2: what are they.
14:29
Speaker 3: Not currently other than my super I don't really know
14:32
Speaker 3: how much is in that. When I checked it a
14:34
Speaker 3: few years ago, there was like ten thousand dollars in there.
14:36
Speaker 3: I think I actually have no idea. I should probably
14:39
Speaker 3: find that out. I would really like to invest. That
14:42
Speaker 3: is something I'm interested in doing. But I think that
14:44
Speaker 3: I have to take baby steps with my finances because
14:48
Speaker 3: I've tried before. I've over extended myself trying to save
14:53
Speaker 3: or whatever, and it's just backfired completely. So I'm better
14:56
Speaker 3: off taking small steps and just work on being able
14:59
Speaker 3: to say and be comfortable with, like having one hundred
15:03
Speaker 3: dollars of my pay that I don't see your touch before.
15:06
Speaker 3: I'm willing to like let go of that into an investment,
15:09
Speaker 3: but I do want.
15:09
Speaker 2: To no, But that is very fair. That makes a
15:11
Speaker 2: lot of sense. I think like to want to spend
15:14
Speaker 2: a bit more time thinking. I think is actually quite powerful.
15:18
Speaker 2: Taking your time means that you can spend more time
15:20
Speaker 2: in the market, so you're not going to pull your
15:22
Speaker 2: money out and be stressed later. Yes, exactly. Next question,
15:27
Speaker 2: do you have any debts at the moment? If so,
15:30
Speaker 2: what are.
15:31
Speaker 3: They don't anymore except for my hex step. So I've
15:34
Speaker 3: got that currently, which I think last time I checked,
15:37
Speaker 3: is spitting at about thirty eight thousand dollars, which is
15:41
Speaker 3: a bit overwhelming. But I know that we'll just get
15:44
Speaker 3: paid off next year like slowly, so that's okay. I
15:48
Speaker 3: used to have a five hundred dollars credit card, which
15:49
Speaker 3: I know doesn't sound like a lot, but that was
15:52
Speaker 3: like putting so much stress on me just having that
15:54
Speaker 3: five hundred dollars to pay back because I just didn't
15:57
Speaker 3: have money to do that.
15:59
Speaker 4: With relative to what you're earning, for sure.
16:02
Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, especially because I have quite a lot of
16:04
Speaker 3: health issues, which mean that I have to spend at
16:07
Speaker 3: least five hundred dollars a month to like maintain my health.
16:12
Speaker 3: So like I just like I just didn't have money
16:15
Speaker 3: to put towards it. So I ended up having to
16:18
Speaker 3: be like I just can't save right now. I just
16:20
Speaker 3: have to work on like paying that off. And now
16:22
Speaker 3: it's paid off, and I'm so happy. I remember going
16:25
Speaker 3: into the bank with my card. I'm like canceling this
16:28
Speaker 3: noway for me?
16:31
Speaker 2: Okay, are you sure?
16:33
Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, take it away, I want it again.
16:35
Speaker 3: And it was like this tiny little card that only
16:38
Speaker 3: like I know some people have like hundreds of thousands
16:41
Speaker 3: of dollars of debt, and like so I felt again
16:43
Speaker 3: I felt like, oh my god, like I only have
16:45
Speaker 3: five hundred dollars of debt, like this is nothing compared
16:47
Speaker 3: to some people. But once I paid it off, I
16:51
Speaker 3: just like the weight lifted off my shoulders.
16:54
Speaker 2: It was, Oh good, that's what you want to hear.
16:57
Speaker 2: That is exactly what we want to hear.
16:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's very excit about that.
17:00
Speaker 2: The next question I have is do you currently you
17:03
Speaker 2: shop back when you shop online?
17:05
Speaker 3: I don't. I know, I should, I can't.
17:06
Speaker 2: I'm not here rude, I just in pervy. I want
17:09
Speaker 2: to know.
17:09
Speaker 3: I just used to be a big online chopper, but
17:11
Speaker 3: I've had to like ban myself from doing too much
17:14
Speaker 3: of it, so I don't do that much anymore. But
17:17
Speaker 3: I really should get it, like get the little chrome
17:19
Speaker 3: extension or something. I feel like. So I hear people like,
17:21
Speaker 3: you know, they buy their groceries and stuff.
17:23
Speaker 2: On there or yeah, get me.
17:26
Speaker 3: That's actually good. I should totally do that.
17:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't forget. If you do, decide to sign up
17:31
Speaker 4: a little plug here, sorry not sorry, but you can
17:33
Speaker 4: use the code SotM and you'll get ten bucks for
17:35
Speaker 4: free into your account. So even if you sign up
17:38
Speaker 4: and literally just get the ten bucks, like for the
17:41
Speaker 4: kind of money.
17:42
Speaker 2: Yeah for sure, absolutely, Yeah, I love free money. Money.
17:45
Speaker 2: When can recommend? Next question I've got for you is
17:49
Speaker 2: always my favorite because I feel like I get lots
17:51
Speaker 2: of tips and trigs. What is your best money habit?
17:56
Speaker 3: So I think now, which is surprising to me is budgeting.
18:01
Speaker 3: So I'm a little budget queen. I love with good budget.
18:04
Speaker 2: Same girlfriend, same Yes, I've literally made it my career.
18:08
Speaker 3: Yeah clip, well, yes, obviously you're very good at it.
18:11
Speaker 2: I didn't say I was good. I just said I
18:13
Speaker 2: was excited.
18:15
Speaker 3: So I use up bank, which has been like game changing,
18:17
Speaker 3: and like have the little sub account, so I have
18:19
Speaker 3: like one four. I have my emergency fund in there, which
18:22
Speaker 3: is five hundred dollars to match the credit card that
18:24
Speaker 3: I have because five hundreds like a good amount. And
18:27
Speaker 3: then I have like a beauty account. I love being pampered.
18:29
Speaker 3: It's my thing. It's like you talk about like making
18:32
Speaker 3: sure you're spending a line to your values and like
18:34
Speaker 3: putting money aside for things that you value, and I'm like,
18:37
Speaker 3: I value getting my brows done and my hair done.
18:39
Speaker 2: So that's in my budget. So yeah, so.
18:41
Speaker 3: Always budgeting for that date night as well. I have one,
18:44
Speaker 3: so my partner I value date night. We do that
18:46
Speaker 3: every week, So put money aside for that, and then
18:50
Speaker 3: I've currently got one that's fleg trips away, so if
18:52
Speaker 3: we ever, like we've got a few trips down the
18:54
Speaker 3: coast coming up, so like just checking some money in there,
18:57
Speaker 3: and I just find that, like having that struck show
19:00
Speaker 3: makes it the money that I've got sitting in like
19:03
Speaker 3: the actual like spending part of my out bank, Like
19:05
Speaker 3: that's the money I've got to spend. And if I'm
19:08
Speaker 3: using the money from like the date night fund for
19:10
Speaker 3: date night, like I don't feel guilty because I'm.
19:12
Speaker 2: Like that money cool inside.
19:14
Speaker 3: So your budgeting is now like one of my really
19:17
Speaker 3: good money habits character development. One thing that my partner
19:23
Speaker 3: actually picked up on and I didn't realize this. He
19:25
Speaker 3: can tell what I'm going through a really really, really
19:28
Speaker 3: anxious period is because I'll start budgeting, I pull out
19:31
Speaker 3: my budget again and I'll just sit there and even
19:34
Speaker 3: if it's just rewriting what I've already written, I'll rewrite
19:37
Speaker 3: it all and make sure I've got enough money to
19:39
Speaker 3: cover everything. Because it's like such an anxiety inducing concept
19:44
Speaker 3: for me.
19:45
Speaker 2: It gives you peace of mind. I totally get it
19:47
Speaker 2: because I'm exactly the same. The second I feel things
19:51
Speaker 2: are losing control, I'm like, all right, grasp it everything
19:53
Speaker 2: that can help me create control. All right, my budget
19:56
Speaker 2: is number one. All right, this is going to make
19:58
Speaker 2: me feel powerful and like I'm the boss. This is
20:00
Speaker 2: exactly what I mean. I get it, my friend, I
20:02
Speaker 2: get it.
20:03
Speaker 3: Yes, so exactly. So just really focusing on like making
20:07
Speaker 3: sure that like, because I've been without money for so
20:09
Speaker 3: long that like having money, I'm like wanting to make
20:11
Speaker 3: sure it's always there and I've always got more than
20:13
Speaker 3: enough for things.
20:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's smart, all right. The opposite of that,
20:18
Speaker 2: what is your worst money habit? So I had a few,
20:22
Speaker 2: but I think my worst money habit is I feel
20:28
Speaker 2: obliged to pay for things for people all the time
20:33
Speaker 2: when no one has expecting me to or has asked
20:37
Speaker 2: me too.
20:37
Speaker 3: So like we'll go out for a brunch, for example,
20:39
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, I'll buy your brunch, Like
20:41
Speaker 3: that's fine, let me pay for it, which is like
20:44
Speaker 3: like I suppose a nice thing to do if I
20:46
Speaker 3: had the money to do it, then I end up
20:48
Speaker 3: like really broke for the rest of the week. Yeah,
20:51
Speaker 3: And so like that's probably one of the things that
20:55
Speaker 3: I need to need to work on. And like, also,
20:57
Speaker 3: I love gifts, like I love giving gifts. That's one
21:00
Speaker 3: of my main love languages is buying things for people.
21:04
Speaker 2: This has been a theme of today's recording. Obviously we
21:08
Speaker 2: do a little bit of pre recording and a bunch
21:10
Speaker 2: of few money dirists up. I think three of the
21:13
Speaker 2: four money dives we've spoken to and Gabby and I
21:16
Speaker 2: in the car on the way here to record this morning,
21:18
Speaker 2: we're all talking about how our love language was gift giving.
21:21
Speaker 2: All of us. It's the theme of today. I love it.
21:25
Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel good being able to buy
21:26
Speaker 3: something for someone that they've always wanted. And yeah, so
21:30
Speaker 3: I don't like, I don't set a budget for that,
21:31
Speaker 3: Like I'll just buy yeah whatever, even if it's like
21:34
Speaker 3: a little bit, a little bit out of my price range.
21:37
Speaker 3: But it means that I have to sacrifice my oat
21:40
Speaker 3: lattes that week.
21:41
Speaker 2: Oh girlfriend, I get it, I get it totally. All right,
21:45
Speaker 2: let's move on to the very last question before we
21:47
Speaker 2: go to workbreak. I want to know what Greg would
21:49
Speaker 2: you give yourself if we forced you to give yourself
21:51
Speaker 2: a money grade.
21:54
Speaker 3: So I think, like if you had to ask me
21:56
Speaker 3: this question. Like two years ago, I would have been
21:58
Speaker 3: like an F, like a double no complete fail. But
22:02
Speaker 3: now I've worked really hard, so I would put myself
22:05
Speaker 3: probably at like maybe like a C plus, where like
22:08
Speaker 3: I still have a lot of work to do and
22:11
Speaker 3: like growth, but my budgeting is there and I have
22:15
Speaker 3: a lot more like discipline to save and stuff.
22:20
Speaker 2: She's got good structure. We love it. So what would
22:24
Speaker 2: it take to get to an A plus?
22:26
Speaker 3: I think to start like thinking more further ahead in
22:32
Speaker 3: the future with my money, so looking at investing and
22:35
Speaker 3: like saving maybe a little bit more diligently for a house.
22:40
Speaker 3: But I can't really do that until I have a
22:42
Speaker 3: little bit more income.
22:43
Speaker 2: So you've got a lot to go. You're still at UNI.
22:46
Speaker 2: It's all about the journey.
22:48
Speaker 3: I do know that. And like my partner he works
22:50
Speaker 3: full time, like and he earns very good money, so
22:53
Speaker 3: like having that is really helpful so he can focus
22:55
Speaker 3: a little bit on the saving. But I'm like, I
22:57
Speaker 3: want to contribute to.
22:58
Speaker 2: Ye fair, I feel like that's a common thing to
23:01
Speaker 2: feel as well. All right, let's go to a really
23:03
Speaker 2: quick break and then I want to break down all
23:05
Speaker 2: of the information that you sent through in your submission
23:08
Speaker 2: email guys, don't go anywhere, all right, money Diarist. We
23:15
Speaker 2: were speaking before about money trauma and how it's a
23:18
Speaker 2: relatively new concept to you, and I feel like this
23:22
Speaker 2: is a conversation that has been going on in my
23:24
Speaker 2: DMS for you know, the last few weeks, because it's
23:28
Speaker 2: not really something that people have confronted before. I know
23:31
Speaker 2: that we're not the first to come up with this term.
23:33
Speaker 2: Absolutely not. We're just talking about it. However, it's one
23:37
Speaker 2: of those things where I think people go, oh, oh,
23:40
Speaker 2: that is what I've experienced. How did you feel when
23:44
Speaker 2: you kind of found a term to put to your experiences?
23:49
Speaker 3: It made a lot of sense. It definitely helped, I guess,
23:53
Speaker 3: I don't know, justify how I was feeling in a way.
23:56
Speaker 3: I actually first realized I think I had money trauma.
24:00
Speaker 3: Like in your book, you have like in the first
24:02
Speaker 3: part of the book, you have like questions or something. Yeah,
24:04
Speaker 3: but like he is supposed to answer the questions. So
24:06
Speaker 3: I was like, I'll do that. She's asked me too,
24:08
Speaker 3: I'll do it. But I just started crying so much
24:13
Speaker 3: physical pain. No it's not like from you, but like
24:16
Speaker 3: it was so unbelievably distressing for me to even start
24:21
Speaker 3: thinking about my relationship with money. Oh my, and I
24:25
Speaker 3: think that's when I realized something was like really wrong.
24:28
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, okay, this makes a lot of sense.
24:31
Speaker 3: Like my partner and I we have like a lot
24:34
Speaker 3: of the same values, so it works, but like we
24:36
Speaker 3: both have very different ideas on like spending money and everything.
24:40
Speaker 3: He doesn't do budgeting, but he's always got lots of money.
24:43
Speaker 3: He's always been the sort of person that has like
24:44
Speaker 3: three thousand dollars sitting in his bank account just there
24:47
Speaker 3: as like a buffer. So when I'd be like, oh
24:50
Speaker 3: my gosh, I have like zero dollars in my bank
24:52
Speaker 3: account right now, can you please put petrol in my car?
24:54
Speaker 3: And I'd feel really guilty about doing that, And then
24:57
Speaker 3: he was always happy to do it, but he also
24:59
Speaker 3: wanted to to get to a point where I could
25:01
Speaker 3: do it for myself, so I can understand. But he'd
25:03
Speaker 3: be like, you know, oh, you know, Jess, we're running
25:05
Speaker 3: like I'm running quite low on money, and I'm like, yeah,
25:08
Speaker 3: I was like, you, you don't know what that feels like.
25:11
Speaker 3: So even though like he's completely justified and feeling the
25:14
Speaker 3: way he feels, but I get super defensive whenever the
25:17
Speaker 3: topic of money comes up, because I think I've just
25:20
Speaker 3: always felt very attacked, especially with that one particular instance
25:24
Speaker 3: with my family member, you know, telling me that, you know,
25:26
Speaker 3: if I didn't have money, I'm worthless, And that was
25:29
Speaker 3: like one of those things where with like a lesson
25:33
Speaker 3: for me to learn, but I still just like, have
25:36
Speaker 3: this whole If I can't support us, then I'm you know,
25:40
Speaker 3: I'm terrible, Like why would you want to be with me?
25:42
Speaker 3: I have all these health problems, Like I spend so
25:44
Speaker 3: much money on like doctor's appointments and medication and all
25:47
Speaker 3: of that every month, And I'm like, you could just
25:49
Speaker 3: be with someone who doesn't have those problems and that
25:54
Speaker 3: doesn't spend that money, and like, obviously I would whare
25:56
Speaker 3: That's a toxic mentality for me to have. And so
25:58
Speaker 3: I work through that a lot now, but for long time,
26:00
Speaker 3: that was kind of how I felt about a lot
26:02
Speaker 3: of things, and it was all out of my control,
26:05
Speaker 3: like there was nothing I could do about it.
26:07
Speaker 2: It totally makes sense, and I guess that's why I
26:09
Speaker 2: wanted to ask, because often you feel out of control,
26:13
Speaker 2: especially with circumstances that you can't manage talk to us
26:17
Speaker 2: about the health problems you've mentioned. Obviously you don't have
26:19
Speaker 2: to disclose what they are, but just how they impact
26:22
Speaker 2: your finances and how you're managing that long term.
26:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I've got quite a number. They kind of
26:29
Speaker 3: just like accumulated over the years. So my main one,
26:33
Speaker 3: I have generalized anxiety disorders. That's the probably the biggest one.
26:37
Speaker 3: I think that impacts all of the other health problems
26:39
Speaker 3: as well. So basically what that means is like my
26:43
Speaker 3: day to day life is I'm just in a constant
26:45
Speaker 3: state of anxiety, regardless of whether there's a reason for
26:48
Speaker 3: me to be anxious. It's just like constantly in fight
26:50
Speaker 3: or flight all the time and just always stressed, worrying
26:53
Speaker 3: about things that don't need to be worried about. And
26:58
Speaker 3: so I've been in therapy for that since i was thirteen.
27:01
Speaker 3: I'm actually celebrating my ten year university with my psychologist
27:04
Speaker 3: next month.
27:05
Speaker 2: Happy. That's fun, most consistent relationship. I like that at
27:11
Speaker 2: least they're a good fit.
27:13
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. No, she's fantastic and I am really lucky
27:16
Speaker 3: that I do get a very good deal with her.
27:17
Speaker 3: But that's still you know, like fifty dollars I have
27:20
Speaker 3: to come up with every month. So I also have endometriosis,
27:24
Speaker 3: which I found out a couple of years ago. I
27:26
Speaker 3: was diagnosed with that not a major issue in terms
27:29
Speaker 3: of my daily functioning, Like I'm really lucky that I'm
27:32
Speaker 3: not in a lot of pain, but I have to
27:34
Speaker 3: take a specific medication for it that's not covered by
27:37
Speaker 3: the PBS because apparently the PBS doesn't acknowledge women's health problems.
27:41
Speaker 3: So I have to pay for it out of pocket, right,
27:44
Speaker 3: which is like you know, an extra I think it's
27:46
Speaker 3: about eighty dollars a month for that medication I have
27:49
Speaker 3: to take it. I also suffer from daily chronic migraines,
27:52
Speaker 3: so I take two different types of migraine medication every day.
27:57
Speaker 3: That's not as expensive, probably about twenty dollars a month
27:59
Speaker 3: for that.
28:00
Speaker 2: It all adds up.
28:01
Speaker 3: It does, And I have to go to the physio
28:03
Speaker 3: every month as well, because my anxiety manifests itself in
28:07
Speaker 3: a physical manner in my shoulders and my neck, so
28:10
Speaker 3: it gets really tense and that causes the migraines as well,
28:13
Speaker 3: So I need to go to the physio to have
28:14
Speaker 3: like that basically massaged out and dealt with, and that's
28:17
Speaker 3: seventy dollars a month as well. And then I also
28:20
Speaker 3: have narcolepsy type two. The way that I describe it
28:24
Speaker 3: is it's like plugging your phone into charge every night,
28:27
Speaker 3: but the charging cords really terrible and doesn't do its
28:30
Speaker 3: job very well. So your phone on the end of
28:32
Speaker 3: the charges till like twenty percent and it can work,
28:35
Speaker 3: but not very well.
28:37
Speaker 1: So a really.
28:38
Speaker 2: Dodgy cord that's on Apple, that's honestly on Apple. I
28:41
Speaker 2: feel like every cord I've ever had has broken. So
28:43
Speaker 2: that's a really good analogy.
28:45
Speaker 4: Great analogy, great analogy to a very good way of
28:48
Speaker 4: explaining it.
28:49
Speaker 2: I've just immediately related to it and be like, yeah,
28:51
Speaker 2: all right, I get that. Yeah yeah.
28:54
Speaker 3: So that just basically means I'm just tired all the time.
28:59
Speaker 3: And it's like the vicious cycle of those things together.
29:04
Speaker 3: Like when I'm really anxious, my endo flares up, I'm
29:06
Speaker 3: more like in lot more pain, and then if I
29:09
Speaker 3: make SIUs, my shoulders flare up, and then that causes
29:11
Speaker 3: a migraine, and then you know, it causes bad sleep,
29:14
Speaker 3: and I get night terrors as well, and then that
29:16
Speaker 3: impacts and narcilepsy as well, so you I just sort
29:20
Speaker 3: of end up like I need to take some more
29:21
Speaker 3: time off work than most people because sometimes I just
29:25
Speaker 3: need to sleep for four days straight or to be
29:28
Speaker 3: able to function as a human being.
29:29
Speaker 2: Again understandably, so though, like all of that adds up
29:33
Speaker 2: and makes sense, and it's kind of like a domino effect, right,
29:35
Speaker 2: Like Boin ones down, the others far more likely to
29:38
Speaker 2: come down, because once you get hit from one way,
29:41
Speaker 2: you're just going to get hit from the other. To
29:43
Speaker 2: be honest, that just sounds like a really terrible circumstance.
29:46
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that that's the case.
29:48
Speaker 3: Oh, it's it's fine, Like I've learned how to deal
29:50
Speaker 3: with it. Like, I'm just I'm kind of used to it.
29:52
Speaker 3: Mum told me apparently used to get sick a lot
29:54
Speaker 3: when I was a kid as well, so she's not surprised,
29:56
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, so it's one of those things
29:59
Speaker 3: where like I'm kind I kind of like I'm used
30:01
Speaker 3: to it now. It's really hard a lot of my
30:03
Speaker 3: conditions as well, because they're all like invisible conditions. It's
30:08
Speaker 3: really hard to explain to people, especially my family. So
30:11
Speaker 3: my family are very much of the mindset of you know,
30:16
Speaker 3: just need to get over it, like you just just
30:18
Speaker 3: don't be sick kind of thing. So like if I
30:21
Speaker 3: had a broken leg, like they would understand that, but
30:23
Speaker 3: because I'm like, oh, I've got you know, these invisible
30:27
Speaker 3: like I get migraines, Like people who don't suffer from
30:29
Speaker 3: migraines just think they're like bad headaches. No, you don't understand,
30:34
Speaker 3: Like I get armed paralysis, like I stopped seeing. I
30:37
Speaker 3: can't see, like I'm in so much pain. Like it's
30:42
Speaker 3: one of those things where like you look fine, you
30:45
Speaker 3: look healthy, Like why do you need to go to
30:47
Speaker 3: the doctor so much? Like why do you need to
30:49
Speaker 3: go to the physio? Like you don't need these medications,
30:51
Speaker 3: like you could just you know, go outside and eat
30:55
Speaker 3: your vege and fruit and stuff. I was once told
30:57
Speaker 3: that I need to just put my pillow up higher,
31:00
Speaker 3: and that.
31:00
Speaker 2: Would, Oh my gosh, do you know how much money
31:03
Speaker 2: you could save just by putting your pillow my life?
31:06
Speaker 2: Did you know that? Like you won't have to spend
31:08
Speaker 2: any money on any medication. Actually, don't take that. Don't
31:11
Speaker 2: take that from me, Like I am not a medical doctor.
31:14
Speaker 2: Have you tried to stop being anxious? Is my personal fear.
31:17
Speaker 3: And tried just like, just don't be stressed, just don't
31:20
Speaker 3: stress so much?
31:21
Speaker 4: How do you manage in your day to day life?
31:24
Speaker 4: So the combination of you know, some of those things
31:26
Speaker 4: sounds quite chronic. And as you touched on earlier, there's
31:29
Speaker 4: a really strong correlation between mental health and physical health,
31:33
Speaker 4: and you know how you then can approach your day
31:35
Speaker 4: to day life as a result of that. How do
31:38
Speaker 4: you manage within your career? The I guess disclosing within
31:43
Speaker 4: the realm of what you're comfortable with, while still asking
31:46
Speaker 4: for the support that you need, because I'm assuming that
31:49
Speaker 4: with this many different health problems, you're going to need
31:53
Speaker 4: certain levels of flexibility or allowances that someone who's fully
31:57
Speaker 4: healthy doesn't need or doesn't have access. How has that
32:01
Speaker 4: worked for you In terms of the workplace.
32:04
Speaker 3: It's taken a really long time for me to actually
32:07
Speaker 3: find a workplace that is really understanding of it. I've
32:11
Speaker 3: had some horrible bosses I've worked for. My first part
32:17
Speaker 3: time job that I got, like outside of UNI, was
32:20
Speaker 3: at this medical center and the boss she was a nightmare.
32:23
Speaker 3: She was awful. She had five bullying complaints put in
32:26
Speaker 3: against her, and they still wouldn't fire her, but I digress.
32:30
Speaker 3: I ended up having a migraine attack and I was like,
32:33
Speaker 3: I need to see one of the doctors, like I'm
32:35
Speaker 3: not well, and she was like, no, you're fine. You
32:37
Speaker 3: can't do that, like you're on shift right now, like
32:39
Speaker 3: you just have to wait. I'm like, I'm sorry, well,
32:41
Speaker 3: like I need to go home. I need someone to
32:43
Speaker 3: help me, and she goes, nope, sorry, it's not within
32:46
Speaker 3: the time. And then I ended up passing out because
32:48
Speaker 3: that's what happened when my migraines are untreated. And then
32:52
Speaker 3: she turned around and blamed me and told me it
32:56
Speaker 3: was because I didn't tell her it was severe enough.
32:59
Speaker 4: You didn't say me seriously, yeah, And I was.
33:02
Speaker 3: Like, excuse me, what That's happened a few times where
33:06
Speaker 3: I've just been like I'm unwell, I need to go
33:08
Speaker 3: and they're like, no, you look fine. I'm like I'm
33:11
Speaker 3: not please and just like not being listened to. So
33:15
Speaker 3: it's taken a long time. But my current workplace they
33:17
Speaker 3: are absolutely fantastic. I think because we work with people
33:21
Speaker 3: with special needs, they're very understanding of what it's like
33:26
Speaker 3: to have to have, you know, special considerations put in place,
33:31
Speaker 3: and it doesn't make you like that at your job.
33:32
Speaker 3: It just means that, like sometimes you won't be able
33:34
Speaker 3: to come into work that day, and you know it's
33:37
Speaker 3: not your fault. Like I was always made to feel
33:39
Speaker 3: like if I couldn't come into work, the whole place
33:41
Speaker 3: was going to fall apart, And yeah, like you know,
33:45
Speaker 3: I'm putting everyone else under so much stress by not
33:47
Speaker 3: showing up to work kind of thing.
33:49
Speaker 2: And that's not the case at all. Absolutely, No, I
33:52
Speaker 2: don't want to work for someone who isn't flexible on
33:55
Speaker 2: those terms.
33:56
Speaker 3: No, exactly. So I've definitely like finding a good workplace
34:01
Speaker 3: that's supportive of it is a big thing. But also
34:03
Speaker 3: my main thing is I need structure. I need routine.
34:07
Speaker 3: That is like my main thing with dealing with my
34:09
Speaker 3: anxiety is I have to get up at the same
34:11
Speaker 3: time every day, even if it seems like really neurotic.
34:15
Speaker 3: I have to make sure I get up, I have
34:16
Speaker 3: my shower, I get dressed, I have my breakfast, and
34:18
Speaker 3: I do everything in a specific order before I leave
34:21
Speaker 3: because otherwise I just need to start it well otherwise
34:24
Speaker 3: they get really stressed and anxious for the rest of
34:27
Speaker 3: the day. And having that routine and knowing that I'm
34:30
Speaker 3: getting what I need to get done done is one
34:34
Speaker 3: of the things that just I guess reduces that anxiety.
34:37
Speaker 3: When the anxiety is reduced, my other health issues tend
34:40
Speaker 3: to be a lot better. Like even with my sleep,
34:42
Speaker 3: if you let me, I would sleep for twenty hours straight,
34:45
Speaker 3: Like I would have no issues doing that, But the
34:48
Speaker 3: doctors told me, like, I'm going to be just as
34:50
Speaker 3: tired whether I wake up after eight hours of sleep
34:52
Speaker 3: or whether I wake up after twenty hours of sleep.
34:54
Speaker 3: You might as well just get up after eight hours
34:56
Speaker 3: of sleep and get more done in your day. Then,
35:01
Speaker 3: you know, just sleep for the whole twenty hours. So
35:04
Speaker 3: I think you're getting up at the same time and
35:06
Speaker 3: having a good sleep routine really really helps with me.
35:09
Speaker 2: That would have been really hard to hear, like just
35:11
Speaker 2: get up. Are you saying that my resting is not Yeah,
35:15
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm sorry that that's the case.
35:17
Speaker 3: It's honestly fine. It's just one of those things that
35:20
Speaker 3: like you just learned to deal with it and yeah,
35:23
Speaker 3: go about your life.
35:24
Speaker 2: But that's not that healthy, my love.
35:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm doing so much better than I was,
35:29
Speaker 3: Like I'm in a place now where I'm managing my
35:32
Speaker 3: schedule and I'm keeping myself accountable and like now my
35:35
Speaker 3: money is better, Like I've got my emergency fund, Like
35:38
Speaker 3: I'm working towards my two thousand dollars saving score, Like
35:40
Speaker 3: I know that if something happens, like I have something
35:43
Speaker 3: there and that helps.
35:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes me really happy.
35:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm right back. And you have a lot of clarity,
35:48
Speaker 4: and I think that that is just amazing to you.
35:51
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you.
35:53
Speaker 3: Oh my god, thank you.
35:55
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm looking at the time. I think we've run
35:57
Speaker 2: out of time today. Sorry, moneys, but thank you so
36:01
Speaker 2: much for joining us. Your story has been so special
36:04
Speaker 2: and I feel like a lot of people are going
36:06
Speaker 2: to resonate with that and love listening to it, so
36:08
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it.
36:09
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm so
36:11
Speaker 3: excited to be here.
36:13
Speaker 2: See one Wednesday, guys.
36:14
Speaker 1: Hi