Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Breaking Ageism & Redefining What It Means to Age with Dr. Corinne Auman

Transcript

Breaking Ageism & Redefining What It Means to Age with Dr. Corinne Auman · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:00
  You know, and I always say like if you've met 175 year old,
• 0:04
  you've met 175 year old. We tend to, we tend to talk
• 0:09
  about older people. And I'm putting that in quotes
• 0:12
  as if they are some sort of homogeneous group, like they are
• 0:16
  all exactly the same. And you know, they are as
• 0:21
  diverse as any other age group and if not more diverse because
• 0:27
  they've got a million different life experiences that have
• 0:30
  shaped who they have become. And so you, you know, you are
• 0:36
  going to continue to grow older and you are still going to be
• 0:39
  the unique individual that you are right now.
• 0:42
  When you grow older, you don't suddenly hit an age and then
• 0:47
  just everybody becomes the same and they're all cranky and they
• 0:50
  don't understand technology and you know, just all the things
• 0:53
  that we are our stereotypes of how older people I just.
• 0:56
  I think it's so. Funny how we just go older
• 0:59
  people and it's like they're this group.
• 1:02
  Like, no, they're just people. They're great.
• 1:06
  Hello and welcome to the Field podcast.
• 1:09
  I have a new friend here with me today and Doctor Corinne Amin is
• 1:13
  joining me and we are going to have the most fascinating
• 1:16
  conversation. And I think for me, this one
• 1:19
  hits close to home because I just had a birthday that kind of
• 1:22
  has me entering this phase in life that has kind of a, I would
• 1:26
  tell you when I was growing up, I would have said, oh, they're
• 1:30
  getting close to retirement. They're getting.
• 1:32
  Older or old? I'm now in that age group.
• 1:35
  I'm like. That old feel great.
• 1:38
  I am most productive and and clear about who I am that I've
• 1:43
  ever been. I feel like I'm just getting
• 1:44
  started. So we're going to get into that
• 1:46
  more in a minute as I share her story with you.
• 1:49
  We're going to go through the talking points, but welcome to
• 1:52
  the podcast. I'm so glad you're joining me
• 1:54
  here today. Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:57
  I'm glad to be here. Absolutely.
• 1:59
  And Doctor Crunchy describes herself as reliable, ambitious,
• 2:05
  trustworthy, and she's just got some non negotiables, no BS
• 2:09
  policy. And I can relate to that so
• 2:11
  heartedly. And I think that is a beauty of
• 2:15
  that comes with time and age and wisdom that you just get to this
• 2:19
  point where you understand putting all that energy into
• 2:23
  caring and, and living in a way that is abandoning yourself.
• 2:28
  Does it do anybody any good? And and least of all you.
• 2:33
  And it's a it's a relief and a freedom when you get to that
• 2:36
  point. But I'm so glad you're joining
• 2:38
  me. I can't wait to get in this
• 2:39
  conversation. You've got so many Greek
• 2:41
  resources. And the way that you are talking
• 2:44
  about and thinking about the research you've done, I think is
• 2:48
  going to open the door because we, we're going to talk about a
• 2:52
  topic today throughout this that if we're fortunate enough, we
• 2:55
  all get to do, we all get to age, But yet we don't treat it
• 3:00
  like the privilege that it is. And you know, so I think it, you
• 3:05
  know, the way we think about it, it 1 is a privilege if you are
• 3:09
  fortunate enough to live into those many years.
• 3:12
  And let's let's address the way we're living through it in a way
• 3:17
  that we're not just alive, we're striving.
• 3:20
  And yeah, absolutely. OK, So to get started on your
• 3:24
  story, talk to me about the role of self-care in your life,
• 3:28
  prioritizing yourself, knowing the necessity of taking care of
• 3:33
  you. Is that something you've always
• 3:35
  had a good scope on, or is that something you had to grow into?
• 3:39
  Through life. Oh, I think it's something I had
• 3:42
  to go into for sure. I, if there's somebody who like
• 3:46
  has always been able to prioritize it, I, I am envious
• 3:49
  of that person. But I think particularly for
• 3:52
  women, especially as you become a mother to small children and
• 3:57
  there's like 500 million demands on your time from every
• 4:01
  direction. It is so easy.
• 4:05
  To lose yourself in that and to be everything for everybody else
• 4:10
  instead of being there for yourself.
• 4:13
  And so especially as you move, you know, my children are a
• 4:16
  little bit older, but they're teenagers now.
• 4:19
  But they still need you all the time.
• 4:21
  They're still blowing up my phone all the time.
• 4:23
  And then I also have aging parents that I in the process of
• 4:29
  caring for and at the same time, so it's not like it gets easier
• 4:35
  or somehow is, I think there's this kind of myth that is your
• 4:38
  kids get older or somehow because they don't need you.
• 4:40
  Like every single second it gets easier, but it it just shifts
• 4:46
  from one stage to the next. And there's still a ton of
• 4:49
  demands for me in terms of self-care, I think growing into
• 4:56
  the idea that I can't pour from an empty cup and I have to do
• 5:02
  things that are meaningful and valuable to me, that fill my cup
• 5:09
  up or whatever that is, rather than thinking I've got to
• 5:13
  constantly self sacrifice for everybody else.
• 5:16
  And you know, for me, honestly, one of the self-care things a
• 5:22
  couple of years ago was writing my book because I had wanted,
• 5:26
  I'd wanted to write my book for years and years.
• 5:30
  Writing it meant leaving my house on the weekends, like on a
• 5:35
  Sunday morning or a Saturday morning and taking five hours to
• 5:40
  go to the office or to a coffee shop or somewhere to write.
• 5:45
  And there is mom guilt involved in that.
• 5:49
  Like there's this sort of, I should be at home.
• 5:51
  I should be doing these things, spending time with my family,
• 5:55
  but that was really important to me to get that book done, to
• 5:59
  write it. And it was a form of self-care
• 6:03
  to, to be a, to be selfish enough to say no.
• 6:07
  I, I really have to go do this. I'm going to be really
• 6:09
  disappointed in myself and unhappy if I don't go do this.
• 6:13
  Yeah, I think too, we underestimate the power that
• 6:16
  example sets for our children when they see us choosing us.
• 6:21
  That you don't have to give up your whole life, your own
• 6:23
  dreams. You still get to live and be you
• 6:26
  while caring for them. I think especially as a woman,
• 6:30
  as a mom, it sends such a healthy message to them that not
• 6:35
  only will they allow themselves that space, but they will allow
• 6:39
  their partners that space if they partner someday or the
• 6:42
  people they work with. I think there's a lot of, you
• 6:45
  know, instead of the mom guilt, you know, it's like, actually,
• 6:48
  this is this is me teaching them what this looks like.
• 6:51
  Motherhood doesn't mean you just absolve everything else and
• 6:55
  focus only on that. You still get to follow your
• 6:57
  dreams, your instincts. Take that time for you fill your
• 7:01
  cup. How much healthier are you
• 7:03
  showing up for them when there's no resentment about you putting
• 7:08
  things on the back burner because you have decided in your
• 7:11
  head society, cultural Nordism told you you can't do that right
• 7:14
  now. Yeah.
• 7:16
  And you know, I think too, I like a good massage and I like a
• 7:21
  glass of wine and all of that is great self-care too.
• 7:25
  But I don't think self-care has to be limited to those kinds of,
• 7:30
  I'll say, special treats or pampering.
• 7:32
  I mean, self-care is also following your own dreams and
• 7:36
  finding your own path. And you know, that sort of
• 7:39
  personal or professional fulfillment is part of self-care
• 7:43
  as well. Absolutely living into those
• 7:46
  authentic things that you feel called to.
• 7:48
  I tell people all the time I'm like write down 5 activities
• 7:52
  that nourish you. Whatever those activities are,
• 7:54
  those need to be part of yourself care menu.
• 7:57
  Those need to be it, you know, So what are whatever it is, what
• 8:01
  are your dreams? Let you know 5 words on how you
• 8:03
  want to feel the next six months.
• 8:04
  We'll get to those questions at the end, but when I'm working
• 8:07
  with women, I ask them those questions.
• 8:09
  This is telling you what you care about.
• 8:11
  This is part of your value system.
• 8:14
  Don't neglect that you know in any season of your life
• 8:18
  absolutely, and this goes nicely into setting healthy boundaries.
• 8:22
  You created a specific time for five hours one day a week on
• 8:28
  this weekend. I'm going to go do this.
• 8:30
  It was intentional. It was in your calendar and you
• 8:34
  didn't allow other things because when you take on
• 8:36
  something like that, it's so. And I think we underestimated.
• 8:39
  It's like boundaries and communication is kind.
• 8:42
  Everybody knew what I was going to be doing that day.
• 8:45
  Everybody knew not to ask something different of me that
• 8:47
  day. It was clear.
• 8:49
  There was no Gray area. There was no, if they bug me
• 8:53
  enough, I'll change my mind. This is what it was, and then
• 8:56
  everybody I can plan accordingly.
• 8:57
  That's such a great example of a healthy, clearly communicated
• 9:01
  boundary. Yeah.
• 9:03
  Well, and I would love to tell you that I thought about it that
• 9:06
  clearly when it was happening, but I, I can't say that I did.
• 9:11
  But it it's certainly in reflection was in that sense
• 9:16
  that because I, you know, I'm going to go do this.
• 9:20
  And, you know, I did try to choose times that were
• 9:23
  convenient in the sense that because my kids are older and
• 9:27
  they're teenagers, they're asleep on Saturday and Sunday.
• 9:31
  Yeah. I mean, I you're not missing
• 9:33
  any, you say, hanging around the house.
• 9:36
  They're asleep, they're on the phone with their friends,
• 9:38
  they're doing their homework. They don't need you.
• 9:41
  They don't. Need me, they don't need me.
• 9:43
  So, you know, it is strategic those times that I chose.
• 9:46
  But at the same time, it's also, yeah, it's that if anybody woke
• 9:52
  up and they're wandering around the house, moms not here.
• 9:54
  And we know she's not here and we know she's not going to be
• 9:57
  here. And so we can't get up and say,
• 9:59
  hey, can you take me here? Can you do this or do that?
• 10:01
  Because yeah, this this time is built in.
• 10:04
  She's she'll be home in a little while.
• 10:06
  And I think that's really important to to try to set that
• 10:11
  time aside, whatever it is for whatever you need it to be.
• 10:15
  Having that kind of this is this is the block.
• 10:18
  These are the rules, yeah. And you talked, you said
• 10:22
  something I think is important too.
• 10:24
  Trust. Your instincts on this, because
• 10:26
  you said, you know, at the time when I did this, I wasn't
• 10:28
  completely, you know, tuned into the fact of what it was actually
• 10:32
  said in a clear healthy boundary.
• 10:33
  But I followed my instincts. I followed my heart.
• 10:36
  I followed my nudging. Trust those things.
• 10:40
  Those are telling you what you need to hear about yourself.
• 10:43
  And so you end up doing these things organically and like, Oh
• 10:47
  yeah, I did carve out that time I was clear about.
• 10:50
  So there's a lot of ways to look at it too.
• 10:52
  It just goes back to the value of trusting yourself.
• 10:55
  All right, let's get into this next one.
• 10:57
  And I think this not only in your own life, but in the work
• 11:00
  that you're doing. I mean, your book Teenagers
• 11:03
  talks a lot about this, the the research you've done, the impact
• 11:07
  of mental, emotional, physical health.
• 11:09
  When we are living authentically into ourselves, we're tending to
• 11:13
  all those parts of us and we're allowing other people to.
• 11:16
  And we don't put stigmas and stereotypes or limits when
• 11:20
  someone gets to a certain season in life because we've seen time
• 11:24
  and time again the impact that has in a negatively on on mental
• 11:30
  health and emotional health when we don't allow people to live
• 11:34
  out from where they still feel called to still feel aligned
• 11:39
  with. Yeah, so this is really
• 11:42
  interesting to me, and I talk about this a lot in my book.
• 11:46
  And are stereotypes about growing older really have not
• 11:53
  kept up with the reality of what it is actually like to grow
• 11:58
  older today. So you know.
• 12:00
  Are. Stereotypes about, I mean, you
• 12:02
  and I were talking about this a little prior to hitting record
• 12:05
  that, you know, you got to 5560 and everybody's thinking, Oh
• 12:11
  well, you're, you're getting ready to retire, you got 1 foot
• 12:14
  out the door. And our traditional stereotypes
• 12:18
  say that right, that 65 is the retirement age.
• 12:21
  You know, everybody should want to retire by 55 or 60 And you
• 12:25
  know, early retirement is your goal.
• 12:27
  And what is so interesting today is what you said to me prior to
• 12:33
  starting and what I hear all the time from people who are in
• 12:37
  their 50s and early 60s and they're going, no, I'm just
• 12:40
  hitting my stride. Like I feel the best right now
• 12:45
  that I've probably felt my whole life.
• 12:47
  I'm in, I'm in good shape, I'm in good health.
• 12:50
  You know, the I'm getting a little more freedom from my
• 12:52
  kids. But I know all this stuff like
• 12:54
  I'm an expert in my field and I'm on top of my game.
• 12:57
  And they really feel like they are in their prime when, when
• 13:04
  our society is kind of sending them this message of, well, you
• 13:08
  know, when are you going to retire?
• 13:10
  And don't you want to slow down? And aren't you ready to like
• 13:13
  just go relax on the beach and, and do nothing else?
• 13:17
  So it doesn't, it doesn't match. It's really hard for people as
• 13:22
  they get through this age because you have this way you're
• 13:26
  feeling and then you have all this cultural messaging that
• 13:30
  kind of makes you go what? What's happening?
• 13:33
  What? What?
• 13:34
  Why? Why are people?
• 13:35
  Looking at me in a certain way or why are people constantly
• 13:38
  asking me when I'm going to retire?
• 13:41
  I have a friend who's almost 70 and still working and loves what
• 13:46
  he does, is very good at it. And people keep asking him, why
• 13:52
  haven't you retired? Aren't you going to retire?
• 13:54
  When are you going to retire? And he finally looked at me and
• 13:56
  he said, are they are they trying to tell me that I'm not
• 14:00
  good at this anymore? Because but what I really think
• 14:04
  it is is that it's it's just people's expectations and it's
• 14:09
  like a conversation starter. They don't know what else to say
• 14:12
  because it surprises them that he's still at work and that he's
• 14:15
  still doing, you know, his day-to-day stuff.
• 14:18
  So it it hasn't kept up and it makes for a really interesting
• 14:24
  50s, sixties, 70s, because if you're still keen to keep doing
• 14:30
  things you're keen to, you're highly developed, you're really
• 14:33
  interested in life, you're really interested in the topic
• 14:36
  and you're not fitting that sort of it's time to withdraw and
• 14:39
  retire stereotype. People don't know what to do
• 14:42
  with you. They don't know how to react.
• 14:45
  Yeah. It's so interesting.
• 14:47
  They don't know ageism is a real thing.
• 14:50
  They start looking at at things that it's like you're trying to
• 14:54
  get me to put on the brakes. I'm just now hitting the gas.
• 14:57
  I think it's especially true for women because many times women
• 15:03
  have maybe taken a break in their careers or made shifts if
• 15:07
  they've raised a family. So they get to this point where
• 15:10
  the kids are out the door, they're grown, they've got the
• 15:13
  time, the energy, they've been waiting to do this.
• 15:16
  And I think that society is missing out on a whole group of
• 15:21
  women that are fresh, ready, way more current than you would
• 15:25
  imagine. We're keeping up on, on the
• 15:28
  technology, the AI, we're learning things.
• 15:31
  We're also something I've done. I've surrounded my my team is
• 15:35
  all in their mid 20s. So I've.
• 15:37
  Surrounded myself intentionally with to have voices with me.
• 15:42
  My daughters are in their 20s and ones in her early 30s.
• 15:46
  She's barely over. 30. But keeping those voices of
• 15:51
  relevance in my head to keep us current to help with those
• 15:55
  things that maybe I need some guidance on, some language on,
• 15:59
  some skills on. But then also, I mean, I have
• 16:02
  friends throughout the spectrum. I mean, I had a friend on last
• 16:05
  week on one of my panels. She's one of my dearest friends,
• 16:10
  first friends here where I live in Fresno.
• 16:12
  She's 40, She just turned 40. I'm 56.
• 16:15
  I don't feel like there's this this big age gap.
• 16:19
  She and I have a ton of things in common that we connect on and
• 16:23
  other friends a few years older, but she had kids later.
• 16:26
  So her kids are still very young, but we still.
• 16:29
  So I think it's just rethinking age is truly just a number and
• 16:35
  you get to decide how it is you live that out.
• 16:38
  Some people are ready to step out and do something else.
• 16:42
  Some people are just hitting their stride.
• 16:44
  So instead of putting this blanket of expectation over it,
• 16:50
  get curious about each person you come across.
• 16:52
  And for those that you know, maybe you do have some their
• 16:56
  skills are need to be updated or lacking, then have conversations
• 17:00
  about that and see if there's a way you can meet them or you
• 17:03
  know, is there a different way they want to go.
• 17:06
  For me, I'm in a completely different area working now than
• 17:09
  I was when I started 30 years ago.
• 17:12
  You know, so there's a there's, but get curious and don't make
• 17:15
  these assumptions and don't miss out on the value and wisdom that
• 17:20
  a life well lived and a willingness to continue to be
• 17:24
  learning and keep the curiosity going can add to your your
• 17:28
  organization. Yeah.
• 17:30
  So what you've just described is the power of an
• 17:34
  intergenerational workforce where you you talked about all
• 17:38
  those different age groups you've got that you're
• 17:40
  interacting with and you know, each generation, each individual
• 17:44
  has different skills and talents that they bring to the table.
• 17:49
  And the best workforces are the ones that are utilizing all the
• 17:54
  different generations. You don't want all young voices.
• 17:58
  You don't want all middle-aged voices.
• 17:59
  You don't want all older. You want that diversity because
• 18:02
  yeah, they know stuff that I don't know.
• 18:04
  Those 20 year olds know things I don't know, but I also know
• 18:07
  things that they don't know. And so when we are together, we
• 18:11
  can do a lot more. And that is, and there is
• 18:14
  research that backs that up. I mean, there is, there is real
• 18:17
  power in that. And the other thing that you
• 18:19
  mentioned, you know, and I always say like if you've met
• 18:22
  175 year old, you've met 175 year old, we tend to, we tend to
• 18:29
  talk about older people. And I'm putting that in quotes
• 18:32
  as if they are some sort of homogeneous group, like they are
• 18:36
  all exactly the same. And you know, they are as
• 18:42
  diverse as any other age group and if not more diverse because
• 18:47
  they've got a million different life experiences that have
• 18:51
  shaped who they have become. And so you, you know, you are
• 18:56
  going to continue to grow older and you are still going to be
• 19:00
  the unique individual that you are right now.
• 19:03
  When you grow older, you don't suddenly hit an age and then
• 19:07
  just everybody becomes the same and they're all cranky and they
• 19:10
  don't understand technology and, you know, just all the things
• 19:13
  that we are are are stereotypes about older people.
• 19:16
  I just. I think it's so funny how we
• 19:18
  just go. Older people, and it's like
• 19:21
  they're this group. And it's like, no, they're just
• 19:24
  people. They're right, yeah.
• 19:27
  Yeah, absolutely. So good.
• 19:29
  All right, for this next one, you know, showing up
• 19:32
  unapologetically for yourself as well as other women in your
• 19:37
  life. And for me, this really starts
• 19:39
  with the I I had an I'm sorry problem for years that I needed
• 19:45
  a lot of accountability with my partner, with my therapist and
• 19:49
  like, and women are very, very prone to walking into a room.
• 19:53
  I think this is something that we sometimes see older people
• 19:56
  feel prone to too, because we some because of the way we treat
• 20:01
  them in terms. Forms of you know, I tell women
• 20:04
  all the time quit living like you're an you're an
• 20:06
  inconvenience. Let's quit treating our older
• 20:09
  generations of people and the way we and the things that we
• 20:13
  the lens we look at them through like they're an inconvenience.
• 20:17
  They're they're full. Don't make, don't, don't put a
• 20:21
  stereotype on them or a stigma or an expectation on them that
• 20:25
  that puts them in this space. But for you personally, talk to
• 20:29
  me about that journey of learning to show up and
• 20:32
  apologetically know your voice deserves to be seen, known and
• 20:35
  heard. I would imagine as you wrote
• 20:37
  this book and did this research, there were probably some
• 20:39
  pushback moments where you had to be like, no, no, no, no, wait
• 20:42
  a minute. I got something to say here and
• 20:45
  you all need to hear it. I'd say that's an ongoing
• 20:48
  process all the time. The when I was writing the book,
• 20:52
  I actually had some post it notes here by my computer.
• 20:55
  And one of them was you can't be heard if you refuse to be seen.
• 21:00
  Because I I'm an introvert by nature.
• 21:04
  And even though I felt like I had something to say and that
• 21:09
  there was a really important message here, I also felt this
• 21:13
  sort of, I want to just kind of stay home.
• 21:17
  And it has been a real push for me to show up for myself and do
• 21:24
  social media, right? Like do social media videos and
• 21:30
  do all the things I need to do to get the message out, to try
• 21:33
  to talk, be in front of people. I, I love to teach.
• 21:37
  Like, I love being like as a speaker, like being in front of
• 21:40
  a group, all of that 100%. But like the social media piece
• 21:44
  has felt so hard for me because it's just like, oh, I don't, I
• 21:49
  don't want to do this, but to show up for myself, to show up
• 21:53
  for who I want to be and the message I want to present, I've
• 21:57
  got to go. I don't, I don't care what
• 21:59
  happens with the social media, right?
• 22:01
  The message is more important. I can't get hung up on.
• 22:04
  And I think this is very particular to women as we get
• 22:07
  older. I can't get up hung up on how I
• 22:11
  look or comments about how I look or you know, and, and
• 22:16
  there's all this pressure on women in particular as we get
• 22:20
  older about, you know, Botox and fillers and all these things
• 22:24
  which I have nothing against. No problem with that.
• 22:28
  I think every woman should be able to choose how she wants to
• 22:32
  age. And if that's Botox and fillers,
• 22:35
  great. And if that's not fantastic,
• 22:38
  what I have a problem with is people feeling like that they
• 22:42
  everybody gets to deserve to have commentary on how women
• 22:46
  look. As if, as if I am here to be
• 22:53
  pleasing to your eyes and that that is my purpose.
• 22:56
  And if I'm not doing it, then I shouldn't be seen or heard.
• 23:00
  And I think there was this part of me that was afraid of what
• 23:08
  people would say, like can't like that there would be trolls
• 23:12
  in like the social media stuff. And, and, and the way I've
• 23:16
  gotten around that is I, you know, I have a social media
• 23:18
  manager who posts everything and they read all the comments and
• 23:22
  they send anything important they send to me.
• 23:24
  But any of the trolls or anything like that, they just
• 23:27
  delete, delete, get rid of them. Because I, I, I finally decided
• 23:31
  that was a worthwhile investment because that way I can show up
• 23:35
  and I can get my message out and I can do what I want to do
• 23:39
  without having to put the emotional bandwidth in to deal
• 23:42
  with a bunch of BS from people who are going to have comments
• 23:45
  that I don't really need to care about.
• 23:48
  Their opinion of me is not my not my business.
• 23:51
  And so, but I think that is really particular to women
• 23:55
  because men as they get older do not have that same sort of
• 23:59
  pressure on them at all. No, not.
• 24:02
  At all. I mean, they're dignified,
• 24:04
  they're distinguished, whatever it is we find when we see a
• 24:07
  white headed man in his 50s or 60s, my sister-in-law, I
• 24:12
  remember this very clearly. She's she has retired recently
• 24:15
  very happily. Now she's doing amazing
• 24:18
  volunteer work at other organizations.
• 24:20
  So she's just filling her time differently.
• 24:22
  But she had a job change happen, an organization she was working.
• 24:26
  For sold. And they were changing, so she
• 24:28
  was having to look for a job in her late 50s.
• 24:32
  And I remember her specifically making sure and she was told by
• 24:36
  her kind of person that was helping her with the search,
• 24:39
  like go dye your hair to your natural color.
• 24:42
  Because if you go in with your hair like that as a woman, they
• 24:45
  won't even that. You won't get beyond the first
• 24:47
  round. They'll never tell you that, but
• 24:49
  you won't give you on the first round.
• 24:51
  That's a classic example of the kind of stuff that still exists
• 24:55
  out there for women. Yep.
• 24:58
  And I mean, it's so interesting when you I'll use my husband as
• 25:02
  example. His hair he has doesn't hardly
• 25:04
  have hardly any Gray hair, but his beard, when he grows it out
• 25:07
  is all white people. Oh, you look like this
• 25:10
  distinguished. If I were to do that, it would
• 25:14
  not be the same. And it's just such a double
• 25:16
  standard for women as they're aging.
• 25:19
  And so, yeah, be mindful about that and just learning to show
• 25:22
  up and apologetically. And so many women I know have
• 25:26
  learned to just embrace that and be like, whatever, If you choose
• 25:29
  not to have me in your orbit, you're the one that's missing
• 25:32
  out. But I will not allow that to
• 25:34
  stop me from living my life from the place that I know is
• 25:38
  healthiest for me and where I feel called to.
• 25:41
  Yeah. And I think we're seeing more
• 25:42
  and more like there, this was a year or so ago, but there was
• 25:45
  the Canadian broadcaster, the woman who let her hair go Gray
• 25:51
  and then and then got fired. But there was so much.
• 25:54
  I actually, I mean, I hate that for her.
• 25:56
  But I also really liked the conversation because it really
• 26:00
  brought it to the forefront. And she was very unapologetic.
• 26:03
  She was like, yeah, yeah. And, you know, she's gone on and
• 26:06
  done other great stuff. But it's like that sort of,
• 26:10
  yeah, this is your problem, not mine.
• 26:12
  And I think as more and more women do that, it will, it will
• 26:18
  become more and more acceptable. Yeah, and I talk a lot about
• 26:21
  that a lot. I'm like, ladies, if we're gonna
• 26:23
  change thing on the broader spectrum, we need to do it as a
• 26:26
  collective in big numbers and do it together.
• 26:29
  It these one offs and not embracing all the different
• 26:32
  parts and all of our different stories and welcoming everyone
• 26:35
  into the conversation and from their different backgrounds is
• 26:38
  how we make changes. That's how and when you see
• 26:41
  somebody else do it, it's an it's like an invitation.
• 26:44
  It's almost like this unwritten permission that we so.
• 26:49
  Yeah, well, the The thing is, so one of the things I always say
• 26:53
  is fighting ageism is an inside job because you have to start
• 26:57
  with yourself. You can't, you can't fight
• 26:59
  ageism for other people if you're still believing all the
• 27:02
  age of stuff yourself. And so thinking about what the
• 27:06
  decisions you're making, what are you thinking to yourself?
• 27:09
  Like, am I too old to wear that? You know, the Gray hair, the
• 27:12
  different things. But then we all have to do it
• 27:17
  because then as we each start to question it, then we start
• 27:21
  looking around and going, oh, this is a bunch of BS, right?
• 27:24
  All this, all this stuff that we're being told all the time.
• 27:27
  So that's how you get to the collective is, you know, just if
• 27:31
  I can get you to stop and go, why do I think that I'm too old
• 27:37
  to wear that? Or why do I think I have to keep
• 27:40
  go get, you know, Botox all the time or why do I think whatever
• 27:44
  it is? And if you come to a conclusion,
• 27:46
  you go, I just like how it makes me look.
• 27:48
  I feel better, fine, but you may also go, I don't, I don't like
• 27:54
  this anymore. I it takes too much time or it's
• 27:56
  too expensive. And then you, if you can start
• 27:59
  to question it, then you can make different choices versus
• 28:03
  the everyday sort of thing. But that's how you get to the
• 28:06
  collective kind of one person at a time.
• 28:09
  Absolutely. 100% I talked about this all the time with women.
• 28:12
  You have to learn to embrace all of your beautiful complex
• 28:16
  layers. See the value in them, you know?
• 28:19
  Accept them. You don't have to love
• 28:20
  everything, but acknowledge it. Accept it not and and just
• 28:25
  consider it as part of the life growing experience in you before
• 28:30
  you're going to be able to do that well for anybody else in
• 28:33
  any branch of classes. Yeah, thank you so much for
• 28:35
  that. So good.
• 28:35
  All right, In terms of your why and your values behind your
• 28:40
  work, talk to me about what how you got on this road, how your
• 28:44
  why and your values informed that this is the work you wanted
• 28:47
  to do so. There's a, there's two pieces
• 28:52
  there. One, I'm going, I'm getting
• 28:55
  older, right? And this, I think it's my
• 29:00
  journey and being on that journey makes me start to
• 29:04
  question everything about it. Just like what you were saying
• 29:07
  about, you know, you feel like you're in your prime and yet the
• 29:09
  world is kind of sending you these messages.
• 29:12
  And so it's my journey too. And I want to, I know the power
• 29:18
  of a positive aging story. And I want to have a positive
• 29:23
  aging story. I want to look forward to
• 29:27
  growing older. And I have a lot of good models
• 29:30
  out there, a lot of role models who have gone before me, who I
• 29:34
  look at and go, yeah, I want to do it like that.
• 29:37
  And and so part of this is just my, it's, it's my, I want to say
• 29:43
  fight, but I'm not sure that's the right word.
• 29:45
  Yeah, But it's, I want it to be in the forefront of my mind.
• 29:49
  I want to be questioning the messaging I'm getting, what what
• 29:55
  people are telling me I can and can't do, what I think the next
• 29:58
  10 and 20 years are going to look like.
• 30:01
  I think that's really important and the power that that positive
• 30:04
  aging story has you, you live on average 7 1/2 years longer, you
• 30:09
  have less risk of dementia, you walk faster, you do all these
• 30:13
  positive outcomes because you are looking forward to that
• 30:17
  time. So, so that's one piece of it.
• 30:20
  It's just, it's my story too. It's all of our stories because
• 30:24
  if we it, it's either get older or don't.
• 30:27
  And I want to get older and I want to really enjoy it.
• 30:32
  The other piece is I my day job is as a care manager and I run a
• 30:37
  care management agency. And the thing that I see there
• 30:45
  is that people who aren't looking forward to getting
• 30:49
  older, who are really afraid of it, they bury their heads in the
• 30:54
  sand and they don't do any of the planning and preparation
• 30:59
  that you need to do to make sure you have a great aging
• 31:03
  experience. So they don't do their will and
• 31:07
  they don't do their powers of attorney and they don't do any
• 31:10
  healthcare planning and they don't do any financial planning
• 31:13
  or very minimal. And then, of course, things do
• 31:17
  change as we get older. And so you know what hits the
• 31:21
  fan? And then I get a call as a care
• 31:24
  manager because something has happened.
• 31:26
  And now everybody in the family is scrambling because they don't
• 31:31
  know what mom wanted, and they don't know what to do.
• 31:33
  And they don't know where the documents are, and they don't
• 31:35
  know how to manage the finances. And it's chaos.
• 31:38
  Yeah, and the. What?
• 31:41
  Keeps people from doing that. Planning is the fear, it's the
• 31:46
  stereotype, it's the negativity. I can't.
• 31:49
  I don't want to acknowledge that I'm getting older because
• 31:52
  somehow I believe that if I don't talk about it or I don't
• 31:55
  acknowledge it, it means it's not happening, right?
• 31:58
  And so. They don't and then they end up
• 32:01
  in, excuse my language, but they end up in a shit show because
• 32:05
  they did not plan and prepare. And so I really think one of the
• 32:10
  other powers of a positive aging story is the ability to look
• 32:16
  forward with clear eyes and go, you know, I should really, I
• 32:20
  want to make sure this is a great journey, not only for me,
• 32:23
  but for my spouse and for my kids.
• 32:25
  And so I'm going to get all my ducks in a row.
• 32:27
  I'm going to do everything so that I get the kind of care I
• 32:31
  want it when and if I need it. I get the kind of life I want.
• 32:35
  Just all those things. And so that's the that's the
• 32:38
  other piece is, is the kind of the professional.
• 32:41
  Like I see the difference in what happens when you have
• 32:45
  planned and prepared when you have not.
• 32:48
  Yeah, I. Thank you for sharing that.
• 32:50
  I think that's such an important component.
• 32:51
  I was at a dinner a couple of months ago, my good friend I
• 32:56
  talked about earlier, my 40 year old friend, she is a leader of a
• 33:00
  financial com financial advising company here in Fresno and she
• 33:05
  had a speaker come in who's been a woman that works works in
• 33:09
  their industry that helps people with the very thing getting the
• 33:12
  plans in place and she. Set out a very.
• 33:15
  Clear step and it was a wake up call for me.
• 33:18
  We weren't as collectively organized as I thought we were.
• 33:21
  So it was a great wake up call. And I've got those notes and
• 33:24
  we've got time set aside during the holidays because my husband
• 33:27
  gets 2 1/2 weeks off during the holidays that we're going to sit
• 33:31
  down and, and update the parts of our plan that need some
• 33:35
  updating. I knew some things did, but it
• 33:36
  was just such a great reminder. And also we've, we've lost my in
• 33:39
  laws in the last couple of years and they were really good about
• 33:43
  setting things in place that in. And even within that, it still
• 33:47
  took a year to settle the estate and they had things in place.
• 33:53
  I mean, so it was also a wake up call to all of us kids and our
• 33:56
  own kids were like, can you make sure to do this?
• 33:59
  We want you around for many years.
• 34:01
  But we've seen what you all have gone through.
• 34:04
  And my sister-in-law especially is the executor, but my husband
• 34:07
  was helping her a lot too. And, and making having the Peace
• 34:12
  of Mind of knowing that whatever happens, whenever it happens,
• 34:16
  everything's covered. There's we're not leaving.
• 34:18
  Stress and fear. If fear is a driver, most of the
• 34:22
  time, fear is going to hold you back.
• 34:24
  Do not let fear get in the way of you doing, being prepared,
• 34:28
  living well, whether you, you know, and, and just having the
• 34:32
  Peace of Mind. You know, my husband and I know
• 34:33
  if we travel abroad now and God forbid something happen, things
• 34:37
  are taken care of. Our kids don't have to worry.
• 34:40
  We've lived our our best lives for the whole amount of it and
• 34:44
  those things are covered and there's no reason to fear that.
• 34:48
  Being prepared gives you a freedom not.
• 34:51
  Not preparing is not protection. Yes, it doesn't.
• 34:55
  Mean it won't happen, but. But somehow people act like it
• 34:58
  is. Oh yeah.
• 34:59
  It's like because I cannot. Tell you the number of times
• 35:02
  people have said oh I'll do that stuff when it's time yes it's
• 35:07
  time is now right right when my my oldest son is 18 and a week
• 35:12
  after he turned 18 we had him in the attorney's office doing his
• 35:15
  healthcare power of attorney and his financial power of attorney
• 35:18
  and all of that because I knew that the moment he turned 18 I'm
• 35:22
  not in charge of him anymore and the only way the.
• 35:24
  Doctors are going. To talk to me or anything like
• 35:27
  that is if we get that stuff done and people look at me like
• 35:30
  I'm crazy and I'm like, no, we don't get it.
• 35:33
  Like everyone should have this stuff done.
• 35:37
  This is a you are an adult problem.
• 35:39
  It is not a you're an old person problem.
• 35:42
  There's no it's time. The time was yesterday.
• 35:45
  Like do it. And what people do, they just
• 35:48
  kind of they pretend like they're not aging, which of
• 35:53
  course we all are. We'll be this podcast than we
• 35:56
  were at the beginning and and then they pretend they act like
• 36:01
  if they make plans, it's going to cause them to pass away.
• 36:05
  Yes. Yes, that's our very real
• 36:09
  unrealistic fear. Yeah, it's like we're going to
• 36:12
  speak it into existence. And I'm like, guys, I got, I got
• 36:16
  news. We are all going to die
• 36:19
  guaranteed. And doing this paperwork is not
• 36:23
  going to change that or hasten it in any way.
• 36:26
  It's just going to make everyone's life easier.
• 36:30
  It's really a gift for for everyone in your family because
• 36:34
  it's it's a gift because if you're incapacitated, they know
• 36:39
  what you want. They know what kind of care you
• 36:41
  want. They know how to pay for it.
• 36:43
  They know all the things. And if you pass away, it's a
• 36:47
  gift because then it makes their life so much easier as they try
• 36:51
  to deal with the estate and do all the things.
• 36:53
  Because on a good day, doing that takes about a year.
• 36:57
  And on a bad day when you died intestate without a will and all
• 37:01
  that, it's you're looking at multiple years of headaches.
• 37:04
  So if you love your family members and you don't want to
• 37:08
  make their life miserable, maybe if you don't like them, maybe
• 37:11
  then it's fine. I don't know why.
• 37:14
  I'm sure there's somebody that's going to go.
• 37:15
  I don't care because I don't like them anyway.
• 37:17
  But you know, if you do care, then this is something to do to
• 37:21
  make their life easier. Yeah.
• 37:23
  Planning and clarity is kind. Absolutely.
• 37:26
  Yeah. And and that goes nicely to the,
• 37:28
  you know, living out of our own expectations versus others.
• 37:32
  You are blowing up the whole expectations conversation in the
• 37:35
  best way. And when it when it is it in
• 37:39
  your own life that you realize this was important for you
• 37:42
  personally, because I think that also helps you impact the way
• 37:46
  you talk about it on behalf of people that are aging as well.
• 37:51
  I mean, I think so. I've had my care management
• 37:55
  business for about 12 years now and I really went into that with
• 38:03
  the incorrect expectations. I really thought I was going to
• 38:07
  be working with 40 year olds who were caring for their 70 year
• 38:12
  old parents and that is not the case at all.
• 38:15
  I am working with 70 year olds who are caring for their 90
• 38:18
  something year old and discovering that over the years
• 38:24
  and seeing this play out so many times, I was like, oh I have
• 38:29
  this all wrong. And my background is in lifespan
• 38:33
  development, adulthood and aging and that's what my degree is in.
• 38:36
  And I thought if I had that so wrong in terms of who were the
• 38:42
  older adults, who were the people being cared for, who were
• 38:45
  the caregivers? If I had it wrong with all my
• 38:49
  training and expertise, our we, we've all got it wrong.
• 38:54
  I mean, people, just their ideas of what older adulthood is like
• 38:57
  today are so radically off base from what older adulthood is
• 39:03
  actually like. It's so much better than you
• 39:05
  think it's going to be. There are so many seniors out
• 39:10
  there doing amazing things, having a great time, starting
• 39:13
  new businesses, doing all kinds of stuff.
• 39:15
  And we kind of sometimes you'll see like news stories about some
• 39:20
  sort of like super senior. And I'm putting super senior in
• 39:22
  quotes. And I really, I really want
• 39:25
  people to understand that that experience of having an amazing
• 39:31
  older adulthood doing really interesting things, being
• 39:33
  physically active that is common today.
• 39:38
  That is not, they are not outliers.
• 39:41
  That is the norm. And now maybe still it's a
• 39:45
  little bit of an outlier if you're 110 and you're doing
• 39:47
  those things, but but like a 70 or 80, even 90 year old being
• 39:52
  healthy and active. You.
• 39:54
  Probably know some, you just may not know how old they are,
• 39:58
  right? You think they're younger than
• 39:59
  they are? You think?
• 40:01
  They're younger than they are. And because we just have such
• 40:07
  perceptions that are based on older stereotypes that when we
• 40:11
  see people in those ages doing really interesting things, we
• 40:16
  assume that they're younger than they actually are.
• 40:18
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 40:20
  Thank you for that, such good points there.
• 40:22
  So going, so going back to your choice to go into this line of
• 40:25
  work, you know, when you decided to go to school, get the
• 40:28
  degrees, what was it that made you?
• 40:30
  What was it in your curiosity that drew you to this?
• 40:35
  My grandparents, I I grew up right next door to my
• 40:40
  grandparents and my grandfather passed away and pretty much
• 40:44
  overnight, my mom and her sister realized that he had been
• 40:49
  protecting my grandmother and that her dementia was much worse
• 40:53
  than they realized. So they went, they went from
• 40:57
  having two parents to having only one parent.
• 40:59
  And that one parent needed 24/7 supervision because she could
• 41:03
  not be left alone. And so that happened when I was
• 41:06
  in like 8th grade and I watched my mom kind of navigate caring
• 41:13
  for her mom with along with her sister from the time I was in
• 41:17
  8th grade until I was a junior in college when my grandmother
• 41:20
  actually passed away. And I just, I watched that whole
• 41:25
  experience and thought, why isn't there somebody who helps
• 41:28
  with this, right? Like, why isn't there somebody
• 41:31
  that like points you to all the resources and helps guide you
• 41:34
  and answers questions? And everybody thinks it's like
• 41:36
  the discharge planner at the hospital.
• 41:39
  And this is this is no shade to them, but their job is to get
• 41:42
  you out of the hospital, right? Their job is not to help you
• 41:46
  coordinate all the resources at home and get home care and home
• 41:49
  health and all the equipment set up and all those sorts of
• 41:52
  things. So yeah, that's that's where it
• 41:54
  came from. I mean, I really, you know, I
• 41:57
  learned a lot over those years kind of watching that happen.
• 42:00
  And when this is not the way to do it because they didn't have a
• 42:05
  guide, they didn't have a resource.
• 42:06
  So, you know, they were trying things out and making mistakes
• 42:09
  and panicking when the caregiver getting to show up and just all
• 42:13
  the things. And that's really hard.
• 42:16
  And now now we try to make it better.
• 42:19
  I love. That so important.
• 42:20
  Thank you so much for that. I tell you that experience you
• 42:23
  talk about is not uncommon. We had that very experience in
• 42:26
  my own adopted family. We had no idea what Grandpa Gene
• 42:30
  was covering up until he was gone, and then in the reality of
• 42:34
  it was like, holy. Cow.
• 42:38
  And It is not uncommon for caregivers to die first because
• 42:42
  they exhaust themselves before they ask for help, and then they
• 42:49
  pass away rather than the person that they're caring for.
• 42:52
  Yeah. And the stress that goes with it
• 42:54
  and the trying to mask because there's just this, again, it
• 42:59
  goes back to those expectations. And then they put this undue
• 43:03
  burden on themselves to to take care of things that they were
• 43:06
  never equipped to take care of. Yeah.
• 43:09
  I think that's a whole other conversation, but thank you for
• 43:11
  sharing that that background and what led you to this in living
• 43:16
  out feel, you know, in finding and learning to embrace your
• 43:20
  layers. Talk to me about your layers
• 43:23
  journey that that ability to really acknowledge and accept
• 43:27
  all the pieces and parts of who you are.
• 43:29
  We all have those parts that we wish didn't happen, decisions we
• 43:32
  wish didn't make things we wish didn't happen to us.
• 43:35
  But at some point we've got to. I have learned through my own
• 43:38
  journey, you got to get to a point where you can at least not
• 43:40
  to love it, but you got to acknowledge it and give it room
• 43:43
  to breathe. So you knowing your own value is
• 43:46
  what leads you to know the importance of prioritizing you.
• 43:50
  So that I work with people a lot about that.
• 43:53
  So talk to me about your journey of the layers.
• 43:56
  So, you know, I have gotten to a point where I really do believe
• 44:06
  I'll say everything happens for a reason or it all works out.
• 44:09
  Or there was a great Wayne Dyer book before he passed away
• 44:14
  called I can I can see clearly now where he looks back.
• 44:17
  He looks back at his life and he goes, oh, if that hadn't
• 44:20
  happened, this wouldn't have happened.
• 44:22
  If that hadn't happened, this wouldn't have happened.
• 44:23
  And I have two adopted daughters.
• 44:28
  And there there was a job I had that I really liked prior, prior
• 44:35
  to me starting my business that I lost, not because of anything
• 44:39
  about me, but because the roles changed and they basically
• 44:44
  transitioned that role out of existence.
• 44:46
  And I was really mad. And I was really sad when that
• 44:51
  happened. And I was really kind of angry
• 44:55
  at the universe, right? Like this was a great job and it
• 44:58
  was a great role and it was perfect and it was a great place
• 45:01
  to be and just all the things and but losing that is actually
• 45:06
  what motivated me to start my business because I kind of went
• 45:10
  well, I've talked about starting that business and you know, now,
• 45:15
  now I got no excuse. I got all the time in the world.
• 45:18
  I better, I better go start that business and I did so.
• 45:23
  So that really kind of negative thing led me to start my
• 45:26
  business and then in starting my business and starting to network
• 45:31
  right like going out meeting. People and trying to.
• 45:33
  Get get people to know what I do and all that sort of stuff.
• 45:37
  I met a financial advisor who then introduced me to his wife
• 45:43
  at some event, right? And I got to know his wife
• 45:45
  really well. And she's an elder law attorney
• 45:48
  and that deals the right, you know, I want to network with her
• 45:52
  because I want her to know how. Long story short, she introduced
• 45:59
  me to someone who was working with my daughters when they were
• 46:04
  in foster care because she called me one day and she said,
• 46:07
  you know how you're always saying you'd like to adopt, but
• 46:10
  the girls just have to fall into your lap like you're not, you
• 46:12
  don't want to work for it. I didn't.
• 46:14
  I didn't want to do adoption because it was so expensive.
• 46:16
  Right and. She said, you're always saying
• 46:21
  that. It's like, yeah.
• 46:22
  And she said, well, I think I just met your daughters.
• 46:25
  And I went, wow, OK. And she said, can I, can I give
• 46:29
  your name to this person who's working with them who happened
• 46:32
  to share office space with the attorney?
• 46:35
  And I said, sure, OK, whatever. And she did.
• 46:39
  And we, we went and did the foster care classes and they
• 46:42
  ended up moving in with us. And they are my daughters and
• 46:45
  we, they've been with us for eight years now.
• 46:48
  But I can so I can look back now and go this thing that happened
• 46:53
  that made me so mad. And I was so said about like I
• 46:57
  was, you know, so upset. And if that had not happened, I
• 47:02
  wouldn't have started my business.
• 47:03
  I wouldn't have met the financial advisor or the
• 47:06
  attorney. I wouldn't have I wouldn't have
• 47:08
  my daughters. And I can't imagine not having
• 47:13
  them. And so it's just sort of like,
• 47:16
  OK, you know, whatever's happening, it's all it's all
• 47:19
  going to work out. And I really, it's really sort
• 47:24
  of relaxing to relax into that and to go, you know, it may seem
• 47:31
  really crappy right now, but that doesn't mean it's not going
• 47:36
  to work out in a way you just can't even see coming.
• 47:40
  Yeah. And I think some you did
• 47:42
  something really important in that moment.
• 47:45
  You made a choice to move forward.
• 47:48
  You decided not to stay stuck there and just be mad.
• 47:51
  You took action. You took you move forward.
• 47:54
  And I think that's such an important part of the layers
• 47:56
  journey too. I'm like, all right, this thing
• 47:57
  has happened and I had no control over it.
• 47:59
  But I can choose how I respond to it.
• 48:02
  I can choose the way I move forward with it.
• 48:04
  I've got this opportunity now. And that has a lot to do with
• 48:08
  your ability to embrace your layers as well as how you
• 48:11
  respond onto those things in your life that allow you to move
• 48:15
  forward. I mean, and it's such a, it's
• 48:17
  such a great example. So thank you for so much for
• 48:19
  sharing that. And this really speaks perfectly
• 48:22
  into, as you've learned to do this, living out what I call
• 48:24
  living out feel, finding empowerment, embracing layers,
• 48:28
  the impact it had on your relationship with yourself, the
• 48:32
  confidence of knowing you could start this business, knowing you
• 48:35
  could connect with these people, but also the impact it had on
• 48:38
  your other relationships. You have these two beautiful
• 48:41
  daughters now. I mean, I think that's such a
• 48:43
  classic example of that. Are there other relationships
• 48:46
  it's impacted as well? It's probably impacted all of
• 48:51
  them. I mean, I can't imagine that it
• 48:53
  wouldn't. I was looking up at my bulletin
• 48:55
  board because I have a little quote up there that says
• 48:59
  responsibility is your respond ability.
• 49:06
  You get to choose how you respond.
• 49:09
  You have the ability to choose how to respond.
• 49:13
  And I really like that because. Yeah.
• 49:16
  And, and when, when that happened, I actually bought all
• 49:19
  I saw in a store at the time a little plaque or something that
• 49:23
  said, I get to choose how the story is going to end.
• 49:28
  And I, I hung that in my house for a while when all that was
• 49:33
  happening to go, OK, this this feels awful.
• 49:36
  But I get to choose how this story is going to end.
• 49:40
  And that feels that takes something that feels very out of
• 49:44
  your control and puts it back in your control, right.
• 49:48
  To say this, there is there is crap happening over here, but I
• 49:53
  get to choose how the story is going to end and you know, based
• 49:55
  on what I do today. And that that's empowering.
• 50:00
  That makes you and it makes you feel a lot better.
• 50:03
  Oh boy. So it does it and that is one of
• 50:05
  my I have 3 core pillars that I really operate off of.
• 50:09
  And when I'm working in this work that I do, it's like you
• 50:12
  are valuable because of who you are.
• 50:14
  You are worthy not because of how much you do, because you
• 50:17
  exist in the world and you get to choose.
• 50:21
  Because so many times I ran into women who feel like they have no
• 50:24
  choices. Oh yes, you do.
• 50:27
  We're going to reframe that conversation.
• 50:30
  We're going to take a look at your life and I'm going to show
• 50:32
  you all the places and ways you do have choices.
• 50:35
  So thank you so much for sharing that because that I think is
• 50:38
  such a powerful, simple, but powerful message that if we can
• 50:42
  grab on to that, it changes our whole way we look at our life
• 50:46
  and how we move through it. Thank you so much for that.
• 50:49
  All right, we are winding down here.
• 50:52
  Tell me 5 activities that nourish you spending time.
• 50:59
  With my kids, most of the time, unless they're all fighting and
• 51:02
  then that doesn't work. But most of the time.
• 51:04
  It does, so there's caveats. Writing nourishes me, which is
• 51:11
  why it's a a priority to try to set time aside for that five
• 51:20
  other things. The napping.
• 51:24
  Napping really nourishes me. I'm a big napper.
• 51:27
  I love that reading. I love reading a good book and
• 51:31
  then probably just walking my dogs, like getting out in the in
• 51:35
  the world and walking my dogs and I'm seeing, you know, seeing
• 51:38
  neighbors or talking to a friend when I'm walking.
• 51:40
  That's probably one of my very favorite things to do.
• 51:43
  I don't like walking my dogs by myself.
• 51:45
  I want a friend and I want to chit chat with them while I'm
• 51:48
  there. That's I love that.
• 51:51
  Yeah, I love that. So good.
• 51:53
  All right, 5 words on how you want to feel the next six
• 51:56
  months. Oh, accomplished and trying to
• 52:01
  write another book relaxed about that process.
• 52:08
  Yeah. Because it's like, I want to get
• 52:11
  motivated. There's another word.
• 52:13
  But I also don't want to feel like I'm putting a ton of
• 52:17
  pressure on myself. Sure.
• 52:19
  It's that, that sort of balance rested because I feel like it's
• 52:26
  been really hectic lately and I would, I'd like to have some,
• 52:29
  some rest in the next few months and then just peaceful.
• 52:34
  Right. And that.
• 52:34
  And what I mean by that is inner peace, like just getting,
• 52:38
  getting my own brain to calm down and kind of go, OK,
• 52:42
  everything is fine. Yeah, 'cause it's, it's a hard
• 52:45
  world sometimes to, to. Have inner peace, Absolutely.
• 52:49
  Oh boy. I mean, when you can get to that
• 52:51
  point where you can have contentment within the chaos and
• 52:55
  but I think that goes back to what you said earlier about not
• 52:58
  losing sight of the fact that you have choices.
• 53:00
  And I think that can really lead to that contentment as well.
• 53:04
  Thank you so much for your time today.
• 53:06
  Tell people where they can find you and follow you.
• 53:08
  Sure. So I have a website, it's just
• 53:11
  my name, Corinne almond.com that is CORINNEAUMAN dot com and
• 53:20
  there you can find more about me.
• 53:22
  You can find links to the book and all my social media links
• 53:25
  are on there too. OK.
• 53:27
  And with this will be on our website at embracinglayers.com
• 53:30
  as well listener, so you can go there to find out any last
• 53:34
  thoughts you'd like to leave with our listeners today?
• 53:38
  My favorite thought is that, you know, fighting ageism is an
• 53:41
  inside job. And if you, if you don't like
• 53:46
  how older people are treated today, if you are dreading
• 53:49
  getting older because you going, oh man, I don't want to be in
• 53:52
  that group. The way to change that is to
• 53:55
  start fighting ageism today, because your future can be
• 54:00
  different if we all work together for it now.
• 54:05
  So good, that's your last thought.
• 54:07
  I'm not going to add anything to that because that is the one I
• 54:10
  want you to leave with today. Doctor Corinne Omen, thank you
• 54:13
  for how you show up in the world.
• 54:15
  Thank you for spending this time with me today.
• 54:17
  I appreciate you so much. Yeah.
• 54:19
  Thanks for having me. Absolutely.
• 54:21
  All right, listeners, you've got your marching orders.
• 54:23
  Take good care of yourselves and have a great week.
• 54:26
  Hello, and thank you so much for being with us today on this
• 54:30
  episode of the Feel podcast. If you would like more
• 54:34
  information on how you can apply these talking points that I
• 54:39
  share with our guests in each episode to your own life, really
• 54:43
  utilize this Feel framework, go to embracinglayers.com.
• 54:48
  Fill out our contact form and let's set up a free 30 minute
• 54:53
  consultation to talk about how you can start living your most
• 54:58
  authentic, organic, healthy, feel fueled life.
• 55:02
  Thanks again for being with us today.
• 55:04
  We'll be back to you soon with another episode here on the Feel
• 55:08
  Podcast.