Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Alan Winterbottom Delivers Your Food
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's Friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
- 0:12Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call away. It's time for your
- 0:16Speaker 1: phone tap. And imagine, for whatever reason, your Uber Eats
- 0:20Speaker 1: driver calls you to say he's gonna be late. Oh
- 0:24Speaker 1: that's happened. Yeah, it sucks, but yeah, and you're trying
- 0:27Speaker 1: to figure out why. Usually that conversation would be pretty normal,
- 0:31Speaker 1: like I got lost or I got stuck in traffic,
- 0:34Speaker 1: the restaurant took too long. But not when eighty nine
- 0:38Speaker 1: year old Alan Winterbottom is barely and he's gonna tell
- 0:46Speaker 1: you all about why he's late. And if you don't
- 0:48Speaker 1: listen to him, he's ready to pick a fight. It's
- 0:52Speaker 1: your phone tap right now. It's another taps on the twenties. Hello, Hello, yes, Hello,
- 1:05Speaker 1: EarPods are hunko junk h Is this Sarah mc Yes
- 1:13Speaker 1: you you you ordered delivery from from a breets right? Yes?
- 1:19Speaker 1: Are you at the door? Well not quite. I'm your
- 1:23Speaker 1: delivery driver. My name is Alan winter Bottom, pleasure to
- 1:28Speaker 1: make your acquaintance nice to meet you. Are you close
- 1:33Speaker 1: by or do you know when you're gonna be here? Well? No,
- 1:37Speaker 1: so you live in kind of a bad part of town.
- 1:39Speaker 1: Did you know that? No? All over you? Are you
- 1:45Speaker 1: sure you have the right address? Yeah, no, I got it.
- 1:48Speaker 1: This is a I mean it's a regular neighborhood. Okay,
- 1:51Speaker 1: well that's not the problem. Okay. I was driving and
- 1:55Speaker 1: my my prostate started doing loop to loops. It's like,
- 1:59Speaker 1: oh God, why is that information pertinent? Right now? Well,
- 2:03Speaker 1: when nature calls you gotta answer, all right, I didn't
- 2:07Speaker 1: have the dipe on. If you need to go like
- 2:11Speaker 1: I this is not too much information for mere gen
- 2:17Speaker 1: z what. I'm sure you'll tweet about this later. I'm
- 2:21Speaker 1: trying to have a conversation. You know, you're supposed to
- 2:25Speaker 1: respect your elders when they're talking to you. Don't talk
- 2:28Speaker 1: to me like that. Okay, Now you sound like my
- 2:31Speaker 1: second ex wife, Helen. She passed from the gout. Thank god,
- 2:38Speaker 1: Hussie's still nagging me from the grave. You're unbelievable, man.
- 2:41Speaker 1: I don't know what your deal is. I had to
- 2:43Speaker 1: pull into one of one of the Marco stations do
- 2:46Speaker 1: little TCB? Why taking care of business? I mean you're done? Same? Okay, great? Anyway,
- 2:54Speaker 1: can you just tell me when you're going to be here?
- 2:56Speaker 1: And I've been in here ten minutes and I just
- 2:59Speaker 1: realized now they ran out of teepee? Sure please, I
- 3:03Speaker 1: don't want to know any of this. It's like the
- 3:05Speaker 1: movie Castaway. If you've seen that one, can you I'm
- 3:08Speaker 1: stranded over here. I'm looking down at Wilson staring back
- 3:12Speaker 1: at me. All right, He's like, oh boy, you're screwed.
- 3:15Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is way too much information. Will
- 3:18Speaker 1: you asked? I did not ask. The only thing I'm
- 3:22Speaker 1: trying to get out of you is to tell me
- 3:23Speaker 1: when you're going to be here. Well, I'm trying to
- 3:26Speaker 1: tell you. I can't until I get some tepee. So
- 3:29Speaker 1: if you could come meet me at the ARCO. You're
- 3:31Speaker 1: telling me that you're expecting me to bring you toilet
- 3:34Speaker 1: paper to a gas station. I don't. I am an
- 3:37Speaker 1: old man. And if you would come over and meet
- 3:40Speaker 1: Alan Winner, bottom's bottom better, Oh gosh, that's a dark twist.
- 3:45Speaker 1: You say that five times fast, Alan Winner, bottoms bottoms better,
- 3:49Speaker 1: your bottoms bottom? I can't see it. This is disgusting.
- 3:54Speaker 1: I'm hanging up. Well, I need to get a different
- 3:56Speaker 1: delivery man. Don't get your pennies in a bundles. Do
- 3:59Speaker 1: not say that to me. I didn't want no hoodlums
- 4:03Speaker 1: to swipe your food, so I brought your pantie into
- 4:06Speaker 1: the john with what I'm keeping it warm on my lap. Okay,
- 4:12Speaker 1: I'm dying. Oh yeah, it's just like when Nurse Julie
- 4:16Speaker 1: readjusts my pelvic bone. I am disgusted right now. Your
- 4:21Speaker 1: sister Charlotte didn't seem disgusted by it when I talked
- 4:24Speaker 1: to her what She actually likes seniors and appreciates them,
- 4:29Speaker 1: unlike some people. Who is this. I'm not an old man.
- 4:36Speaker 1: I'm a radio host. This is my real voice. My
- 4:41Speaker 1: name's jeff I'm sorry. I'm from Brooke and Jeffrey in
- 4:45Speaker 1: the morning and your sister Charlotte wanted to set you
- 4:47Speaker 1: up for a prank call. Oh my god, I'm gonna
- 4:51Speaker 1: kill her. I'm gonna swing by if I can use
- 4:55Speaker 1: your crapper for a second, that'd be nice. No, please,
- 5:00Speaker 1: just put some loud music on. You won't be able
- 5:03Speaker 1: to hear nothing. That voice. I never want to hear
- 5:05Speaker 1: that voice ever again. Play some of those modern jams,
- 5:08Speaker 1: you know, hoop them Gumnam style, Hope dope, no, thank you,
- 5:15Speaker 1: just hurt my knee on that one. I'm gonna kill her,
- 5:19Speaker 1: kill her. Wake up every morning with funk taps weekday
- 5:24Speaker 1: mornings on the twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning