Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Move That Ass Out of Pain!

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Move That Ass Out of Pain! · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

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This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about the game of living in
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and with chronic pain and trauma get into the heart of how to heal.
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I am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan on
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discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones, and
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anybody that is interested in having their voice heard in the chronic pain and trauma
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world that we live in. When you live in chronic pain or struggle with
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I don't know, crazy terrible, horrible autoimmune conditions and diseases and disorders and
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all the yuck that goes on in my world, sometimes it's kind of a
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minute by minute decision to keep on truck and through life, you know,
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I know, for me, it's a constant conversation with thought and Louise.
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And for those of you that are new to the show, Thumb and Louise
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are my left and right legs, and I had to name them and they're
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crazy, wild bitches. And every morning when I when my alarm goes off,
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which is very very early because it takes me forever to be able to
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put my feet on the floor, I have a conversation with THEMB and Louise
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like, come on, ladies, let's cow girl up, let's do this
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thing. How are you going to help support me today? And being successful?
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And typically they're a little cranky in the morning. They've got all kinds
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of voices that they're throwing at me. They're giving me these narratives that are
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so negative. They're talking about fear. They're telling me I'm not going to
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be able to do it. They're telling me I'm gonna hurt, I'm gonna
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burn, I'm not gonna be able to walk, I'm not gonna make it
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right. And of course I have to stomp it out, and it's not
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easy. And the only way that I can do that is by my mindset
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shifting, and it is something that I've learned to be able to do fairly
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quickly in comparison to where I used to be. So anyways, but I
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can tell you that when I don't move, when I am sitting around,
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my pain level might be really, really high. If I sit around and
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I claim that I'm resting, which really isn't what I'm doing. I'm more
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along the lines of like stressed out and fearful that well, this is it
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for the rest of the day, I guess I end up hurting worse.
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Right, We're meant to move, We're meant to dance. We're meant to
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sing and dance. We are meant to climb, to swim, to reach,
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to pull, to push, to have sex, to love, to
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enjoy and my favorite thing on the planet clean. So when little miss ocd
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over here, right, so you gotta move, you know, but you
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do need to rest. But resting is different than what I think a lot
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of us think that it is. Anyway, So today we are going to
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be talking about conquering chronic pain, which everybody, Oh, yeah, of
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course we're going to conquer chronic pain today, Yes we are. That's your
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negative self talk talking right, increasing our stress resilience, which is something that
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I one percent stink at on learning our pain fear response and how to reclaim
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an active life through movement and most specifically pilates. So let's get off of
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our assets today and talk about it. So, without further ado, I'd
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like to introduce you to my guest today, d k kone. How are
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you girl? I'm great? How are you doing? I am so good.
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It is so wonderful to have you here. I am wearing your hat
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for your comments. Thank you so very much. DK is a certified pilates
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instructor who helps people in pain improve strength, mobility, and well being in
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a weight neutral environment. She has trained in pain reprocessing therapy through the Pain
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Psychology Center, and after twenty years in the health sector, DK left a
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corporate career Good for you girl to follow her passion, later launching Movement Remedies
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aka My Hat that I'm wearing, a chronic pain focused pilate studio in Boston,
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Massachusetts. I am rolling out the red car for you, babe.
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I appreciate it. I'd like to start by talking about what happened to you
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when you were thirteen years old that kind of changed the trajectory of your health,
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your own narrative, your fear, and even into your self worth.
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Yeah. So, I like most thirteen year olds had really big dreams and
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ideas about I mean, you should at that age have nothing but dreams.
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And it's not really until you get a little older that the world starts,
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you know, crashing all the blues down on you. You know, you
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should be allowed to hold the dreams for a little while. But you know,
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for those of us who and there are many of us who started having
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you know, persistent pain from a young age, the dreams kind of get
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kind of stolen early. So I was in the middle of a performance of
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the musical god Spell in a playhouse in Sherman, Connecticut, a rural place,
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and I was just about to sing. It was the very beginning of
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a show. I had all the jitters, you know, the pit band
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starts playing, the lights get dark, you know, you're like got the
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clammy like excited feeling. And then all of a sudden, as I start
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to sing, I just make this little gesture, like just like I'd practiced
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like eight thousand times, and it was just like a lightning bolt had just
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shot right down through my body. And I remember so clearly because my father
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was actually doing the sound I grew up with musician parents, so he was
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often involved, and he was in the sound booth doing it for this show.
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And I remember just looking straight up when it happened into the sound booth,
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and there he was, you know, looking back at me and we
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and he just knew something was very, very wrong. But I kept singing,
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and I was just committed to trying to push through. But there was
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like a million thoughts that were running through my head at the time, like
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why is this happening? You know? But is this forever? You know?
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Like this is this right now? Like did I do something wrong?
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And you know, basically where I got to in ten seconds of trying to
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kind of sum up where I was gonna do with this new information was I'm
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going to keep singing, I'm going to make it through this performance from hell
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or high water, and I'm I'm going to smile right through it and not
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let anybody see. And I think in a way that was sort of the
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beginning of also a really unhealthy coping mechanism for pain in general, was to
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just kind of shove it down, and in the moment I felt like,
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you know, the task at hand, kind of the importance of that rose
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above what, you know, whatever I was feeling, and you know,
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I did make it through that performance and then spent the weekend on ice packs
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and so on and trying to figure out why that happened. But it did
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launch. That event kind of happened over and over again, so that chronic
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pain became not just or pain became not just a thing that happened once,
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you know, far far away in a galaxy, you know, far far
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away, but sort of like the daily is it going to be today?
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Oh? And I think because of where I was in my life, I
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already had learned enough because of being a dancer and wanting to be on stage
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and also just having a thicker which you know I was. I was an
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ugly, fat, miserable Oh little girl. I mean, how what girl
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doesn't have that moment? You know, like, of course we all do.
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We can all go into that. But our bodies are changing well,
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And you even talked about it in your book, like, oh great,
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this is the best time to do this. We're going through puberty. We're
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going through all these things. And like I not unlike yourself, Like I
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started my menstrual period like way early, way too young. I was like
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I was the one that had boobs. I was the one that had to
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like raise my hand and go to the bathroom and talk to the teacher and
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all that ras and wear a sweatshirt around my waist, like I remember it.
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And like your book gave me a little PTSD in some places because I
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was like, but you know what it What it did for me though,
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was that it didn't it took me out of my island, off my island,
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and so much of the things that we talked about on the show and
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I meet all of these incredible people, is that it does remind me that
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I am not alone in anything that I have going on in my life,
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good, bad, or ugly. And that's why we're here, because we're
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presenting that has come from all kinds of pain and suffering puberty and although around
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with that, Yeah, and that these are patterns that are like, I'm
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convinced that the pattern and results from your environment. You know, there's there's
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lots of research that shows that there are plenty of people walking around down the
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street. Like if I were to go just take ten people off the street
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and put them in an MRI machine, there's a really good chance they have
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discarnations, you know, arthritis, and they're just they have no idea,
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they feel fine. So you know, pain pain, Yeah, I mean
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there are certainly obviously very specific conditions in which pain is happening as a result
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of you know, the nervous system being very confused. But it's so environmental
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and social and and you know, related to relationships, and there's just so
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many things outside and I think at that time, and certainly really not up
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until ten years ago, did we were we really starting to recognize that as
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a real explanation of pain. And so I think people like myself have been
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walking around just believing there's an inherent flaw, like a fatal flaw in me
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that made pain my constant companion and that this was just sort of the cards
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I was being dealt in life, you know, like it really shifted my
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beliefs to be like, okay, and that happens to me even now,
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lindsay, like, you know, if I get a flare up of pain,
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because pain does cut, does come and go, like that is one
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of the ways in which my nervous system lets me, know, pay overachiever,
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like time to sit down, you know, like no, you don't
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need to do another little laundry, you know, lie down or you know,
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and we can talk about reci being productive. But I mean that is
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just an internal system thing for me, sort of like a way of letting
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me know that there's something that there's a rye in my environment. I have
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a toxic relationship that I need to get out of, or I have a
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toxic you know, pattern of beliefs that I need to get out of And
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you know, now I have a whole different relationship with pain because it's not
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sort of like this this death sentence. It's not this this permanent thing that
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every time it comes up, I know, I'm afraid that it's going to
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be forever. And it took decades for that. I think so many people.
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I mean, I see people who walk in my doors that I work
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with who have a flare up of something and I can see in their eyes
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that their number one fear is like, this is it now? You know,
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this is the one, This is the big cahuna. It came for
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me, and now I will have this back to you know, strain,
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the sciatica, this whatever, forever and ever and ever, and you know,
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to let go of that is is just really hard. But that is
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I think my mission. That's where hope is. That's where hope lies for
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me, is that pain doesn't have to be a permanent state. That there
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are ways even if it's even if it's a person that has to you know,
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be a passenger in your car for the rest of your life, Like,
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is there a way to have that person be in the backseat rather than
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you know, trying to grab the wheel and take over, and that is
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I think my my real focus. Yeah, and think a lot of that,
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Like the beliefs that we create and that narrative and the conversations that we
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have with ourselves, they end up slowly but surely holding us back from who
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our true self is. And I think that over time when we when we
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hide behind whatever it is we hide behind. And I've hidden behind a million
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different masks, I'm very very good at it. As I started to unwrap
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a lot of and unpack a lot of the things that have happened to me
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in my life, both that I've done to myself or others have done harm
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to myself because I'm not a perfect angel, as everybody knows, that would
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be no fun. But a lot of those lifestyle choices that I made on
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top of all, coupled with the things that happened to me outside of the
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control, all of those things slowly but surely led to similar things that you're
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talking about. My self worth. I had such incredible low self esteem.
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Anybody that went to high school with me or college with me would probably like
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be like, what are you like? Didn't have self esteem? What the
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hell are you talking? I'm like dude, I was a queen of making
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everybody think everything was just fine, and I started that at a very very
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young age, around nine years old. And so it's only just fairly recently
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in the past couple of years where I've been able to look myself in the
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mirror and address all of those fears, address the struggles, and try to
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start feeling a little bit better in my own skin. So what do we
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do when we're at those points where we're dealing with this pain and we know
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we need to push through, We know we need to move our body,
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but we also need to give ourselves some grace and do that Rest not sitting
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around being lazy asses, but rest. So can you talk a little bit
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about how rest can be productive? Yeah, so I think you can even
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have rest in the middle of doing something. So I think rest is not
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just like like physical and mobility, but it's the rest of the mind and
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the heart, and it's that reconnecting if I don't think it's really that beneficial
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unless you're spending time reconnecting with your your core being, your essence. So
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I don't really know what the right term is, but you know, essentially,
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you know, there was a point in my life where I kind of
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looked up and someone said to me, you know, what is it that
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you want? Right? What are you what are you after? And I
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had no idea. And I think we have a tendency to just maybe it's
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because our culture pushes us harder, faster, strong, or bigger, or
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or you know, I'm not sure, or maybe it's just part of the
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human desire to please or whatever, but we have a tendency to get in
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patterns of chasing after other people's expectations of what success looks like. I would
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say, yeah, I mean, I would say rest is like taking a
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moment to check in with the inner dek and saying, like, hey,
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girl, what's that Like? I know you're telling everyone everything is fine,
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but is it really fine? And so rest may be journaling, rest,
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maybe a whah rest, maybe watercolor painting, for example, Like I find
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watercolor painting to be extremely peaceful. Rest can be a bath. But like
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lying on my couch, like berating myself for all the things that I'm not
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doing, isn't rest, right, Yeah? All it is doing is exacerbating
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the problem, which is that I have a disconnect between what my brain or
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what my story thinks that I should be doing and what is actually good for
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me in that moment. And that's why in the book, I really have
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an emphasis on kind of you can't get anywhere until you set up your personal
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value statements because unless you know what you're doing and why, then you can't
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figure out what direction to even go in. You don't know what good looks
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like. Yeah, and we talk about your why often on this show too.
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It's like, I know what my why is when I wake up in
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the morning. Now, it took me forever to get there. Mine is
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in a short, cute little phrase, giving my pain purpose. That's it.
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That is my mantra, that is my tagline, that is me.
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In fact, I'm getting a tattoo with it on my bod. I was
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just gonna say that. I was like, this is like a great tattoo.
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Yeah, I have one on my forearm that says pain shapes a woman
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into a warrior. And so yes, girl, so but yeah, giving
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my pain purpose that is my why. I don't I don't get paid to
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do this show, guys, right, I run a marketing agency full time.
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I help run my sweetiest show. I've got my stuff, I've got
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my bod I've got our dogs, We've bought all kinds of things going on.
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This show is why I get out of bed. This is it because
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I get to meet you. I get to talk to you about what you've
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been through and how you've gotten stronger and also where our weaknesses are. We're
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not sitting here going, oh man, do I have my shit together?
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And everything's just perfect the way I do it? Absolutely not. I fail.
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I fall. I fell out of my wheelchair two mornings ago. That
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was a winning moments up. I'm sorry. You know, shit happens,
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but it's the way in which we handle it. So like some things work
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for some people and others don't. But for me, that mindfulness and that
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decision that I'm going to do good today and I'm going to help one person,
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even if it's myself, it is such a different mindset than well,
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crap, I gotta wake up. My legs hurt, my feet hurt.
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I don't want to do all it is? Is this a complete different conversation
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with yourself and it can help you along the way. So when we're talking
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about resting and now we're talking about movement, your studio is a pilates studio.
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Yes, can you explain to us? I know what it is,
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but can you explain to listeners that might not know what plate's is because I
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think a lot of people. I mean, we had Leslie Logan on our
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show, yes who introduced me to you, who talked about plates as well,
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but we talked about a whole different side of things on her show.
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But pilates looks scary, right, I mean, we see all the things
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on Instagram with like wall plates and all these things, but when you're talking
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about the reformers and these machines and all of these big things, it looks
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daunting. So I'd like you to explain a little bit about what it is,
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in the power of it and why it works so well for people that
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live in chronic pain, and also take the fear out of Why take the
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fear out of the pilates machines? Because I know that my sweetie and I
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are starting pilates, like I told you, and he's like, I gotta
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do what. I'm like, Hey, you're the one that brought up you
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want to do plates? It wasn't me, buddy. Well, it's kind
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of it's kind of hot right now. So we have that going for us.
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But so yeah, pilates, it's it's a series of movements, right,
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functional movements that were created by Joseph Pilates. But it is coupled with
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also a set of equipment. So you can theoretically do pilates with a matt.
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So most people have a regular kind of matt yoga mastic mat at home,
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so you can do a Pilates Matt class and not even touch the equipment.
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Okay, I really believe that the equipment. Then there's several pieces of
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equipment. You can see a couple of them behind me, but the reformers,
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a chain, the ladder barrel. There are several pieces of equipment that
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all serve different purposes, and I really enjoy working with them with folks who
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are in pain, because in general, you can create movement experiences that kind
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of change the brains understanding of what basic things are. And so it's a
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really great way to get out of patterns of fear, or to get out
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of patterns of kind of anticipatory Like it's still fear, I guess, but
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you have a pain in anticipation of something that you do, like going up
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the stairs for example. Now there's lots of ways I can use springs to
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create a sensation that's like going up the stairs to help you build muscles that
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would be used in the action of going up the stairs, but it feels
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so different because of the instability of the pedal and the way the spring reacts
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to you. It's not the floor. It kind of breaks the brains understanding
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that, like these are stairs. So I really like using that because I
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go right at what people are afraid of, because for me, that's at
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the heart of pain. And if people I have yet to have someone come
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in here who had an issue, and I do a lot of joint replacement
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work, but even my folks who come in with a chronic condition, there
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are very few people who can't say yes to the question is there anything that
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you fear will cause you pain? And so trying to get underneath whatever that
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thing is. And you know, as we get older, like falling is
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like a really common one. So creating situations that help people mimic catching themselves
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in from a fall but in a really safe environment is something that we can
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do with the pilates equipment. That's kind of different from anything else that you
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would do in like a gym or you know, with other pieces of I
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love it. So I see the springs as a way of changing your relationship
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to gravity in a super safe environment. That's a great way to explain that
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though, And i've when it comes to sensation, I'm trying to use the
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word sensation instead of feelings. This is This is a new thing I'm trying
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out because I feel like saying that hurts or that feels bad or whatever instead
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of being well, that's an interesting sensation. It means the same thing,
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but it doesn't at the same time. And it's just the words we use
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sometimes, you know, it's like, God, I look terrible in this
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and said, huh, wow, you look pretty good today, you know,
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like just even if you don't like to say it, like talk yourself
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into it. But I love the sensation part of the stairs. I was
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such a great visual, especially for me because my feet they touched the floor.
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But I don't feel like my feet are touching the floor. I feel
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like I'm walking like through like I'm not sure where the ground is going to
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stop, where it begins, even though I see it, I can I
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know, I can feel that my feet are on the floor, but they
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feel like it's almost like I'm like, I'm on a hoverboard, and so
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it's such a weird feeling, and that stability is what I think is going
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to be so neat about pilates for both of us because we have different issues.
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Those that know them know a lot of them. But for me,
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I feel less fearful doing something like pilates because I feel like the the the
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equipment is going to help stabilize me and make me feel like I am supported
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where right now, I feel like I'm floating above the ground and at any
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moment the wind's going to blow and knock my ass to the ground. Yeah.
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I mean that's a good point. So we can mimic a lot of
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what you would do standing up in a lying down position. That's so cool.
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Yes, So a lot of people will will really enjoy that because it's
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essentially impact free, right, So you're getting to do so so excited.
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I mean we know this already, but like are I feel like more and
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more it's becoming well known, especially among women who are going through you know,
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menopausal changes. But like, resistance training is absolutely essential. Like it's
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not enough to just you know, move your body around. You do want
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to do things that are creating strength, and it's very difficult to find safe
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ways to create strength when you're dealing with physical challenges or you know, you
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can't just like walk into a gym and then have someone be like, let's
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do it, you know, a med ball slam. Like that's not like
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in most I can't do. Yeah, Like the gym culture has gotten a
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little out of hand. But that's like a whole nother one thing. That's
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a whole episode. And I'm glad that you brought up diet culture gym culture.
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Like I've never been a gym person ever. I won't go. I'm
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not interested. I don't like it. I've always been a homebody like exercise
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or or it's like everything middle school lunchroom like exactly right. I'm like,
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okay, I do not like this bitch on the treadmill next to me.
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I'm then I'm like, somehow some legos going to accidentally like pop up on
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her treadmill right now. I don't know, get out of here. I'm
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glad you said it on me, Tonytail and your big boobs knock it off.
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That's what I imagine all of California is like pretty much. Yep,
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And that's one of the reasons that I love it so much. But I
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think that that safety and that fear that you talk about when people come in
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there is obviously there's more fear than less fear when you first start doing I
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mean, I would say anything, starting a new job, starting a new
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school, starting whatever, something new. This was the scariest thing I've ever
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done in my life starting this show, because I knew I was going to
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have to be vulnerable, raw, real and actually really truly one percent me.
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And so far, so good. Yeah, it seems to be working
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for it. I guess it seems to be something that all of the effort
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that we've been putting out both of them. But is interesting though, Like
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I actually want to comment on that, because actually, as humans, we
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crave authenticity in each other, and yet we spend so much time trying trying
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to be somewhere else exseelves, Like what is that about? I mean,
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that's also a huge part of I think when we get out of sync with
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our values is when we try to show up inauthentically. And you know,
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that's really where the corporate world kind of took me down. Strong and anxiety
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and panic attacks, and you know that was one. I was like,
24:03
Okay, you know, we're done. But yeah, it turns out that
24:07
we actually really seek that in others. We see connection in others, We
24:12
see that vulnerability in others, And so why we're so why we're so committed
24:18
to putting up a facade and it's like so interesting. I don't know why
24:22
that is. Yeah, And I mean it doesn't help that we've got Instagram
24:25
and there's filters for everything. So you know, I'm like, okay,
24:27
I was out to lunch with you yesterday, honey, and this is not
24:30
what you looked like. You know, I'm like, girl, did you
24:34
get a facelift overnight? Because you were putting a cheeseburger in your mouth faster
24:38
than I can even like open my straw wrapper. So that part of it
24:45
is body dysmorphic stuff. I mean, it gives like the myths that we
24:48
make up in our in our heads about our bodies and what they're capable of
24:52
and what they're not. I have body dysmorphic issues that I never would have
24:56
thought that I did because I don't look like I used to. I'm so
24:59
ske me and so atrophied, and my cheeks are sunken and you don't know
25:02
what I used to look like. I was seventy pounds heavier than I am
25:04
right now, talk about the girlfriend right, Sorry, it's the word.
25:11
The episode name might just be get that thick. Get No, just stay
25:18
thick, stay thick, thick and thorrow. This is Bumper Sticker Podcast.
25:29
We come up with all of the best bumper sticker lines that you ever could
25:32
buy. Oh my god, so yeah, trademark exactly. I've got so
25:37
many domainiames it's just disgusting. Anyways, So how long did it take for
25:41
you to start seeing the benefits and feeling the benefits of plots not just physically,
25:48
but when you're talking about your you know, your soul, food and
25:51
how you felt about yourself in my own body you mean, yes, your
25:56
own I mean first first mat class, I felt better. Wow, I
26:00
mean I was like definitely the combination of the breathing and the strength and just
26:04
sort of the there's kind of there's very functional movement in it where you're kind
26:07
of stabilizing your torso and like moving a limb and you know, vice versa,
26:12
and then kind of working your core and then there's lots of what I
26:17
love about it, especially when you're doing like a classical matt repertoire is there's
26:22
always a good balance of moving in each direction. So I'm always going forward
26:27
and backward, I'm going side to side, I'm twisting, you know,
26:32
I'm moving everything. So I think that there's just like a three sixty degree
26:36
niss to it that I have always found my back pain response really well to,
26:41
even though up until that point the only tool in my in my box
26:45
was lie down and put feet up on pillows and then feels hard for yourself
26:48
like that was that was about all I had, and that got kicked out
26:52
once I realized that that was actually not serving me. Yeah, but yeah,
26:56
I you know, I don't think it's the kind of thing you have
26:57
to do like a million times a week. I mean, there are people
27:02
who are like that, but I've had people coming in once a week and
27:06
finding that their strength is improving because you learn things in the session about your
27:11
body, especially when you're moving in such a way that you're not like planning
27:15
your grocery lists as you're moving, but you're also paying attention to the sensations
27:19
in your body as you're moving, and you're learning things about how you interact
27:23
with space that people carry with them, and so when you move in that
27:29
way and then you carry that knowledge with you, then you sort of feel
27:33
you're kind of using your muscles maybe differently throughout the whole week, and that's
27:37
ultimately what you want. Right, you're posturally feeling better, or you're feeling
27:40
lighter on your feet, you're feeling more balanced mentally physically. Yeah, yah,
27:45
I all of a sudden just sat up really straight, and I was
27:48
and you know, was it in your book or did I read in another
27:52
one? I read so many books for this show. There's something that said,
27:55
you know, when you're slumping, as soon as you sit up straight,
27:57
all of a sudden, you just kind of feel better. I just
28:02
just that one movement. It's so simple, but it's like here, I
28:06
am worlled, you know, instead of like, well, it's like that
28:08
power pose That wasn't my book, but you know, the power pose thing.
28:12
How post power posture? I feel like someone wrote a book about basically
28:18
everybody's written a book about something. I know. But if you like,
28:21
if you you know, plant two feet and you stand really tall, it
28:25
just makes you feel sure, really empowered. Yeah, it's like putting on
28:29
red lipstick. Baby. There's just there's something about that and and the confidence
28:34
that you can gain. I am like, mind boggled that you started to
28:37
feel better on one map class. That's like talk about giving somebody like me
28:42
hope. And I've been terrible because I used to be, like, not
28:45
an exercise junkie, but I certainly was athletic and active. I mean,
28:51
my whole family super super active. I mean, it's almost intimidating my family
28:56
how active they are. You're like, dear lord, what is are we?
28:59
All of them? Like what you were gross? But there were also
29:03
just amazing people. We all are like good at something when it comes to
29:06
sports and athleticism, from sailing to skiing to biking to hiking. And for
29:11
me that was my life. And now I can't walk my dogs, you
29:15
know. And one thing in your book that I cracked up about, though,
29:18
was where was it? Oh my gosh, it was so funny.
29:22
It was your clients can't describe, like the paint experience, what they want
29:26
to get out of their painting experience, And the first thing that they wanted
29:29
to do was I can't walk my dog. And then it was like the
29:33
second or third one after that was about the spouse. Dogs are number one
29:38
spouse. I mean, I'll do stuff with him later. But what I
29:42
was dead because that's true the first and in fact, I just I'm I'm
29:49
joining a whole new functional medicine group because that's just where I'm at in my
29:52
in my health journey. And one of the questions that I had to fill
29:56
out on it was what is the number one thing that you miss most?
30:00
And this was today this morning I filled it out and it was walking my
30:03
dog dogs because every morning I woke up and I did a couple of miles
30:07
with my dogs every single morning and it was the best of this my music
30:11
and I'm talking to them and I have not done it in three years.
30:15
I haven't walked my dogs. And I mean they're getting walked, but they're
30:18
just not getting walked by me. I get it. You're not a monster.
30:22
I am not a monster. So but but it's unbelievable. Just that
30:27
little thing is what's that is my goal because I know when I can do
30:33
that again, I'm on the right path, you know, Dear Lord,
30:36
here I go. So the struggle is real, guys, The struggle is
30:41
real, totally so. But it is mindset, and I know that,
30:44
Like, like my sweetie was like, why don't we just walk to the
30:47
end of the street and back, you know, And I'm like, because
30:48
I want to go further. He's like, well, you're not gonna get
30:52
further if you don't start going somewhere, And those that know him knows that
30:56
that's not how he talks. Yeah, but that's because then you have to
30:59
admit to yourself that when you get to the end, you have to turn
31:00
around. And that's really hard totally, But nobody wants to come face to
31:04
face with them because I wasn't expecting to be this tiery anyway, raw and
31:08
vulnerable with lindsay Sobrano. But yeah, no, you're right, it is
31:12
that is the fear. That's the fear is that I can't go further.
31:17
But we went that far, right, So that's a decision that you have
31:22
to make, you know, because that will probably make me feel better.
31:26
In fact, when we get done here, I'm going to go take my
31:27
dog's down the streeh. Actually, no, I don't really good myself.
31:30
So, like, I have a client I was actually just speaking to this
31:33
morning who said she she has multiple Sclero assists and she was afraid to go
31:37
to the grocery store. And she did it yet this week, and she
31:41
was very excited. And I said, I said, well, why did
31:44
you believe that you couldn't make it to the grocery store And she said,
31:47
well, you know, it's a really long walk from one end of to
31:49
the other and I didn't know if I could do it. And I said,
31:52
have you ever tried to do it before and you weren't able to do
31:56
it? And she said, well no, And I said, so maybe
31:59
it's time to build some evidence so that your brain can stop telling you stuff
32:02
it doesn't have facts for because and I think, I think, and you
32:07
know, it may be that you can only get to the end of the
32:08
block, but you know, Lindsay, there's always that possibility that you go
32:12
to box. Yeah, totally, And I'm not gonna know until I go
32:15
do it. And like we use my wheelchair. I can walk, I
32:17
just can't walk long distances right, Like I can beep up around the house.
32:21
This week's been challenging. I've been in my chair more than normal,
32:23
but that's because there's a bunch of stress stuff going on. And that's another
32:27
topic. But yeah, like if I keep saying it myself, like,
32:30
Okay, I used to row right, and I'm like, I have a
32:35
rowing like the most amazing rowing machine that I walk by seven hundred and fifty
32:38
thousand times a day, and I'm like, tomorrow, I'm going to see
32:43
you tomorrow and guess what, tomorrow. It's been three years. I mean,
32:49
so I can do it all day long, that these are the things
32:52
that we need to be doing right. But I'm real and that I'm saying,
32:55
hey, I am doing the best that I can with what I've been
32:58
given right now and today. And the fact that I am the way I
33:01
am, that I smile and cry, but that I have the personality type
33:06
that I have in the midst of how I feel has to Lindsey listen to
33:09
that, Like that is some if I can generate that and just channel it
33:14
a little differently, instead of doing eight hundred loads of laundry, Let's walk
33:17
to the end of the block and prove that you can do that. Because
33:20
if I can walk back and forth in my house into the garage or throw
33:22
laundry in or whatever all day long, in and out, why can't I
33:27
go to the end of the street. So but also Like what I'm hearing
33:30
you say is that walking your dog is like really close to your heart,
33:35
that your heart cry for crying out loud. Yeah, I mean that.
33:38
Yeah, I think everybody saw ready. We have a lot, I have
33:40
a lot of you know, witnesses. But so you know, maybe the
33:45
laundry goes that day, I know, crazy, but like maybe it doesn't
33:50
actually matter in the scheme of things. Maybe you know, focusing your energy
33:54
because you know it's true. I mean, but I'm not gonna lie,
33:57
like CRPS is a particularly difficult yeah condition, I mean it's it's it's not
34:01
as easy as I have a herd at a disc and like you know,
34:05
resolve it will structurally resolve itself over time, because that's what tissues do.
34:08
This is a complicated thing. But you know you have a certain amount of
34:13
gas in the tank, right, don't spend it all on this shit you
34:16
don't care about, like, spend it on the thing that makes it lets
34:20
your heart on fire. I know. Powerful, But do you know how
34:23
amazing it is when all of my shirts and all of my socks are folded
34:27
just so broll, you got to pick one. I know, is it
34:30
amazing because it makes you feel less guilty or is it amazing because it actually
34:35
makes your heart happy? Is it like avoidance of guilt or is it really
34:38
joy pure joy? I don't know if I like this question, next question,
34:45
you know, honestly I do. And I open up the show talking
34:49
about how cleaning is one of my things. It is. I love things
34:52
in order. I have purposely done things though, to stop work on my
34:57
OCD, and that's part of it, Like some of it, I don't
34:59
even know that I'm doing it. And my sweetie is like, do you
35:01
understand that you've restraightened the books on the coffee table like seven times since I've
35:06
been sitting here. I'm like, well, stop moving, you know,
35:09
I'm responsible. It's also possible that those things feel like control, which is
35:15
an illusion to one hundred percent what it feels like, yes, And then
35:19
like walking and not knowing if you're going to make it feels like the complete
35:22
opposite of that. It feels like hanging out in space. Right. Yeah,
35:25
I mean I get, I get why one is like more attainable than
35:29
the other. Yeah. Yeah, But you're really looking forward to the email
35:31
that you're going to send me tonight when you tell me about the walk that
35:35
you took. We'll just do it and then I'll send it to you.
35:37
That's right. Well, yeah, because I twenty twenty four, I've learned
35:43
so much from my guests on any changes that have happened in my world have
35:49
been because well A, I mean, I've been doing work, but I
35:52
have been take I have been doing so much that I have been learning and
35:55
taking from the books that I'm reading, from the guests that I've been meeting
35:59
to help put the best game plan in place for me. And the launch
36:04
of the new game plan started JAM two. We're only a couple days into
36:07
the year, right, I am ready. It took me having to give
36:12
up so much stuff and let go of a lot of fear. I mean,
36:15
I obviously still have fear, but working through those things because it's not
36:20
going to happen overnight. Guys. You know, one percent at a time,
36:22
then tomorrow's two percent, and the next is three percent, and then
36:24
all of a sudden, you're like, WHOA, that didn't take all that
36:28
long actually to feel better. But if we're like, well, I want
36:30
the end result right now. You know how when you go on a diet,
36:34
which I hate that word, and you're like, well, I ate
36:36
chicken and broccoli last night. Why why didn't I use twenty pounds? You
36:40
also shoved thirty two shrimp wantons in your mouth right before that. So it's
36:47
just that instant gratification that we're so what we want it now, we want
36:51
our results now, now now, And I don't think that's good for any
36:54
of us. And I think that's fear based, At least for me.
36:58
I feel that that's fear based. It's like, well, if I start
37:00
it, what if I fail? Or if I say I'm going to do
37:01
this and then I end up not doing it, well, at least try,
37:07
you know. If we're not going to try, I think I think
37:10
we need to. You know, my grandmother used to always talk about there
37:15
is a poem in all the Path to Ithaca and like the story of Odysseus
37:20
and how he like basically spends his whole life trying to I think it's Asias
37:23
Greek mythology buffs. I'm so sorry, but basically the guy spends the whole
37:28
a Greek mythology show, you know, trying to get to the Ithaca and
37:36
then basically like dies right, but realizes that like it was the journey that
37:39
mattered. It wasn't the arrival that mattered. And I think we we get
37:44
so we get so outcome focused, you know, like like it matters what
37:47
the outcome is. But but but the processes also can be enjoyable. I'm
37:52
not going to get better balanced, get stronger, have my core back,
37:55
be able to be active and do the things I want to do if I'm
37:59
not going to walk in to a plate studio and do what I need to
38:00
do right or whatever that whatever that looks like to somebody else. And it's
38:06
just we just said we were going to join January and that's what we did.
38:08
So it's like, wow, this is crazy, and so we and
38:12
we just wrote a list down these are the things that scare us. These
38:14
are the things that we're kind of like, I don't know when we're going
38:16
to do these together. You know, we're going to try that. We
38:20
just started taking Italian lessons, like we're doing Yeah, we're doing the theme.
38:24
I know, hello, hello, you got two mobsters on this show
38:28
anyway, so you know it. And it's it really is fun to have
38:32
a partner in crime to help you. But at the end of the day,
38:36
whether or not you have a partner in crime doesn't have anything to do
38:37
with it. You got to be your own partner, you know, And
38:40
you've got to make those decisions for yourself and be your own advocate for your
38:44
life, for your day, for your health, for your career, whatever
38:47
it is. Because you're no good to anybody else if you're not good to
38:51
yourself, you know. Right, So okay, before we jam, because
38:54
I know we're getting close on time here. You've got a bunch of things
38:59
that you've got going on for starters. She's got an incredible book. And
39:01
I don't say that lightly because it is and she's funny. So now that
39:05
you have taught, I heard her, looked at her all of that stuff,
39:08
the book is even going to be better. That's why I enjoyed it
39:12
because I had met her prior. But it is called You're meant to Move
39:15
right, You're meant to move, You're meant to groove, You're meant to
39:17
do all of those things. She also has her website which is Movement Remedies
39:22
dot org. You've got a two part movement class right that you're offering,
39:27
like for low low back pain and hit pain. Sure. Yeah, so
39:30
that's a free class that's available. It's broken into two parts because I wanted
39:36
the class that I wish I had for the days when my pain flare up
39:39
was the worst. Oh oh, it's kind of the day that you wake
39:43
up and your back is like so bad you think, oh, there's nothing
39:45
I can do but put my feet up on the chair. The first part
39:49
is nope, sorry, you're gonna come over here and you're going to do
39:52
this class and you're going to feel better after and if you don't, I
39:53
welcome your emails telling me that you hated it. And the second part is
39:59
you know once you're feeling on a good day, because I believe that you
40:01
should have movement plans for good days and not so good days, right,
40:06
that's the way I want to plan. Yes, yes, but you want
40:08
to have, you know, an advance what you expect to do on a
40:13
day that you feel terrible and a day that you feel great, And so
40:15
this is a class that you can do to address both those days. The
40:17
second half is something that would actually make you stronger over time, and the
40:22
first one is more of like, let's soothe the nervous system. I love
40:25
it so and I encourage you guys to find plate studios that are around there,
40:30
around you, but not all, not all plotate studios are like,
40:32
so please make sure that you do your research. And I'm speaking to this
40:36
because I've tried a couple of them and they were not at all like what
40:39
the one that we're starting to go to is like, it was just there's
40:42
just a feeling and it's for you. So like when you go in there,
40:45
if you're it's not your vibe, don't give up just because it's not
40:49
your vibe. Try something else. It's like finding a spouse. Didn't marry
40:52
the first person then I had sex with dear lord, you know what I
40:57
mean. No, there's you. You have to find what a good Italian
41:00
girl would say, we're getting close to the end. Thank good, I'm
41:07
kidding. So no, but but like am I right? Like we've you've
41:10
got to find the right the right partner in crime, when it comes to
41:14
your health, when it comes to your instructor, what kind of bedside manner
41:16
do they have? I had to find somebody for both of us because we
41:20
are so depraved and we and we are not like, Hi, oh my
41:24
gosh, thank you so much for my class. No, we're gonna like
41:28
bitch and moan and complain and make jokes and do the whole thing that was
41:31
not easy to find. And so you know, you have to find your
41:36
little spot and then make it your home, and you know, and take
41:38
it day by day. I mean, that's how I have to work.
41:39
Sometimes it's minute by minute, sometimes it's hour by hour. When you find
41:43
that right groove and you find those right people, you know, then you're
41:46
also. As much as I love pilates, I would never argue that pilates
41:51
is like the old, right. I mean, for someone else, you
41:55
know, it may be water aerobics, it may be you know, there's
42:00
there's definitely you have to find your thing, and I think you have to
42:01
be willing to like to try a lot of things. Yeah, well said,
42:06
thank you for adding that for sure. And it's but we're really at
42:08
the end of the day, guys, we got to move our bods,
42:10
you know. And I and strength train and you talked a bit about that
42:15
in your book too, And I was reading the statistics and I was like,
42:16
oh, I'm like, thanks a lot, but it really rang true.
42:23
I was sitting in my sauna a couple of days ago reading whatever part
42:28
that was and I was just like, I literally have weights that are sitting
42:30
next to me at the desk right now, so that I can just sit
42:34
and at least do something while I'm sitting here at my desk, which is
42:37
just a total joke, but oh gosh, this has been so much fun.
42:42
Okay, well, I'm going to do my video of me walking down
42:45
the street and I'm going to post it on Instagram and I'll tag your ass
42:49
amazing. Thank you so much for being here today. Is there anything that
42:53
you want to leave our listeners with before we hit the dusty trail? Just
42:58
that hope is available to you and if you can't find it today, you
43:00
know there's another day ahead of you. And I guess I think taking it
43:05
one step at a time and you're not alone. I just think it's so
43:07
important, such a lonely journey sometimes, but but yeah, you can do
43:12
it. You're meant to move. You got it. I love it.
43:14
You're meant to move and we can move with DK by our side as well.
43:17
You can find DK on Instagram, on Facebook, on YouTube, on
43:20
LinkedIn, on TikTok, all of the things. Her book, once again
43:23
is You're Meant to Move, A guide to conquering chronic pain, increasing stress,
43:28
resilience, and reclaiming an active life. You can find her at your
43:30
meant to move dot com and a Movement Remedies dot org. And she's got
43:35
more than you can imagine on her sites and in her social media as well,
43:38
so please follow her, pick up her book, and I don't know,
43:43
get moving, guys. Thanks for being here with me today. DK.
43:46
All right, and that is the end of that. You are exclusively
43:50
invited to share this lifelong movement journey together with DK and me. Let's get
43:55
to the heart of how to heal with you by my side. Do you
43:59
know someone who is as crazy as DK and I, but that is living
44:02
in or with chronic pain, struggling with health challenges, dealing with traumatic events,
44:07
not only with yourself, but others that are in your life. Send
44:08
them our way. We're here, Slip into my DMS, email me,
44:12
call me. I don't care. I will connect you with anybody that's been
44:15
a guest on this show, not a problem, and I would love to
44:19
connect with them to hear their stories too. So if there's somebody that's interested
44:22
that wants to tell their story and be on this show, we are always
44:24
here to take people, to help them enjoy being vulnerable and honest and raw
44:29
and real. It is nothing but wonderful. Please follow the Pain Game Podcast
44:34
wherever you digest your podcast content, we will be there. Visit us at
44:37
the Pain gamepodcast dot com, and follow us on all the socials. Thanks
44:42
for listening, my little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.