Latest / JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain / 259: When Every Room Feels Overwhelming: Where to Start
Transcript
- 0:00I have covered this topic on a lot of different podcasts in various different
- 0:05ways over the last few years, but it still remains one of my most asked questions.
- 0:11So I just want to dig in again to where we start when every part of our home seems overwhelming.
- 0:20Before I dig into the idea of where to start, I do want to sort of give a reminder
- 0:26in case you happen to have missed it.
- 0:28For March, I have been encouraging you to join me in what I am calling the Double Down Dig Out Challenge.
- 0:35And if you want to know all the details about it, just pop back into episode 258 and listen.
- 0:41But if you want some accountability and you want to do this with us or you want
- 0:46just like extra printable even, I have in my free community a download that
- 0:53allows you to kind of track what's going on.
- 0:56And I am going live in there every Monday for 20 minutes to kind of work,
- 1:01I'm using air quotes, but with you, if you want to jump up and have the sort
- 1:06of body doubling accountability of working at the same time that I am working.
- 1:10But you get to that free community by going to bit.ly slash joylovinghomecommunity.
- 1:17And I will put that link in the show notes.
- 1:19And then if you want some added accountability or extra help,
- 1:23I have a $10 a month membership at joylovinghome.com slash membership.
- 1:29And there I am trying to go live every time I'm doing the challenge.
- 1:36So you're having the extra accountability. And then on Tuesdays,
- 1:39we actually work together on Zoom calls.
- 1:40So it's nice to actually get to know you all and see a face and work together on things like that.
- 1:46So, but just in a real quick nutshell, this double down dig out challenge has
- 1:52to do with us having the goal of 20 times over the course of the month.
- 1:56We set a timer two separate times during the day for 20 minutes each time.
- 2:00In one 20 minute session, we're just trying to hit a maintenance,
- 2:04whether that's a kitchen or a laundry or a bathroom or those things that are sort of never-ending.
- 2:09And in the other 20 minutes, we are challenging ourselves to either throw away, put away, or.
- 2:17Giveaway, 20 items in our home.
- 2:21So those, we're working all of that through.
- 2:25And again, if you want to hear any more about that, pop back one episode and
- 2:29you can check that out. Okay, so back to our topic at hand.
- 2:32So where to start when just everywhere you turn just seems overwhelming and
- 2:37you start to overthink it.
- 2:39To get us going with how I want you to think about this, I'm going to share
- 2:43a quote that I love from Lewis Carroll, who is the author of Alice's Adventures
- 2:48in Wonderland, among other books. But this is from that book.
- 2:53And it starts with Alice encountering the Cheshire cat.
- 2:58And she asks him, would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
- 3:03Because she's standing at a crossroads.
- 3:06And the cat says, that depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
- 3:12Oh, I don't much care where, says Alice. Then it doesn't matter which way you go, says the cat.
- 3:19I have always loved that little blip because, for one, it is equally enlightening
- 3:25and absurd all at the same time.
- 3:27But as far as trying to explain my thoughts on how this works with your ADHD
- 3:32brain and where to start, It's sort of showing both sides of a coin.
- 3:41And one end, if you don't have your goal in mind of what you're trying to figure
- 3:47out for your house, then you're going to have your goal in mind.
- 3:50You kind of can go in any direction, right?
- 3:54And so a lot of these people you'll
- 3:57hear is to like have your vision and have your purpose and set all the things
- 4:04in your brain and have all the things of like the ultimate destination in mind
- 4:08so that you can keep your why in your heart while you're working on all the things.
- 4:14And again, none of this is wrong. I'm not saying any of that is the wrong thing to do.
- 4:18But if you find it causes your ADHD brain to overplan or plan without any action
- 4:26or spend some deep dive in Pinterest and the next thing you know,
- 4:31you're looking at 10 other people's vision boards and you're promising yourself
- 4:36you're really doing work by pinning an entire board of inspiration picks for
- 4:41every possible room in your home and nothing is actually changing in your home,
- 4:46then maybe we've overthought the destination.
- 4:49Yet the other side of this coin is to prove that, to the cat's point,
- 4:54if you don't care where you're getting, any direction is going to get you there.
- 5:01You will end up somewhere with action, which isn't the worst thing in the world, right?
- 5:06Because what we really need as ADHD people is to quit being frozen and to start in our action.
- 5:13Now, I know that you're like, okay, getting up and starting,
- 5:16just doing motion can seem a
- 5:20little spirally because we will suddenly roll into that other famous book,
- 5:25which is if you give a mouse a cookie and find ourselves all over the place
- 5:29without anything really to show for it.
- 5:31And so I do see that either side of that coin has its pros and has its cons.
- 5:39But what I'm loving about this is if we keep all of it super simple and we say our end goal is less.
- 5:52Right? Ultimately, isn't that what we want for our house?
- 5:55We want less stuff. We want it to take less time to look worthwhile.
- 6:01We want there to be less things to worry about and less things to focus about
- 6:05and less things to be overwhelmed by.
- 6:08And so if your ultimate goal is as simple as saying, I just need it to be less,
- 6:14then any direction you go will get you there.
- 6:18And this happens to be something to pair really beautifully with this challenge
- 6:25I'm doing for the month of March because every 20-minute timer you set and stand
- 6:31up and get busy on is 20 minutes in the right direction.
- 6:36Because if the destination is less, doing 20 minutes of maintenance will make
- 6:42you feel less scattered about a space.
- 6:4620 minutes of putting things that have homes away will make you feel like there's less chaos.
- 6:5320 minutes of finding 20 things to take out to your car to donate is having less stuff.
- 7:01All the actions lead you to the right destination.
- 7:05If you think about it as a fabulously great labyrinth or maze in which it has
- 7:11lots of entrances, but at the end, you're all going to end up at the same twist
- 7:15and turn to the center, which is the less pile, right?
- 7:19The less that all the routes are going to lead you to the right destination,
- 7:25even if they feel a little chaotic on the journey.
- 7:29And so that's the direction I want you to think about when it's time to start.
- 7:35Don't overthink the start. Don't worry that you're not taking the right path.
- 7:40Because as the cat said, if it doesn't matter where you want to get to,
- 7:46then all the paths, it doesn't matter which way you go.
- 7:49And since all of our paths are going to lead to less, then all of our ways are the right ways.
- 7:55And if you're like, oh, but I didn't start at the beginning of March.
- 7:59It's already March 10th.
- 8:01I won't be able to do this challenge with joy. I'll have to wait for another one.
- 8:06Not too late. As I spoke about in the last podcast, every challenge I offer has a loophole.
- 8:12I am taking insane advantage of the loophole of my own creation right now because
- 8:18I have had the most chaotic week since I introduced it last week.
- 8:24And I have done probably five out of my 20,
- 8:31maintenance minutes, and I have done two of my 20 item minutes out of the 20.
- 8:40But the beauty of this challenge is I'm not saying every day for 20 days.
- 8:46I'm not saying 20 times in succession.
- 8:50I am not saying 20 of this, then 20 of that, or one of each every day.
- 8:56I'm saying download the printable.
- 8:59Mark off. There are 20 boxes. They're not numbered. They're not dated. They're not anything.
- 9:05Just mark. I did check. I did 20 minutes in the kitchen. Check.
- 9:09I did 20 minutes in the bathroom. Check. I did 20 minutes of laundry.
- 9:12Check. I did 20 minutes in the entryway.
- 9:15Whatever the case may be. Check. I, on trash day, definitely threw away 20 things.
- 9:21I'm going to count that. That's my loophole that day.
- 9:23The next day, I put away 20 items
- 9:27that were scattered all over my living room, and man, it felt better.
- 9:30And I'm discovering that the 20 minutes, sometimes I finish well ahead.
- 9:37Sometimes I'm not quite to all 20 items at the end of 20 minutes, but I'm in motion.
- 9:44I'm in the right direction, and it carries me through till I get to the end of the 20.
- 9:49So just one more encouragement there, reminding you if you've tried to get into
- 9:56either of my groups and you're struggling, you can always email me.
- 10:00I'm joy at joylovinghome.com. If you are wanting some just added motivation,
- 10:05you want to do one of the sessions with me in my free group or you want to jump
- 10:09in all in with the membership group,
- 10:11either way, I'm here to help and would love to help you have that accountability of getting in motion.
- 10:18Every direction leads to less when you just stand up and get moving.
- 10:27I will leave you with that thought, keeping it short and sweet so that you can
- 10:31go set that 20-minute timer and get off in your direction.
- 10:36Until next time, continue to choose joy.