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Mojo Monday - The Inevitable Tension Between The Parts Of You · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's Carli Taylor for this week's Mojo Monday.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: So before a start, I just wanted to mention the
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: weather in Melbourne. It has been incredible lately. It is May,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: we are in mid May and we're still walking around
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: in tank tops and t shirts. We are still soaking
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: up the sunshine. I was just yesterday I had the
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: warmth of the sun on my back and it was
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: just it was just beautiful. It's almost like we've borrowed
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: a week from summer. But I just also with that,
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  Speaker 1: like so many things in life, this there's this tension.
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  Speaker 1: So this sunshine holds this kind of tension because while
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: we're enjoying the warmth and the beautiful days and the
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: blue skies, we also have to think about our farmers,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: particularly in Victoria, and what this lack of rain means
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  Speaker 1: for them. So they're having the same experience of these
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: beautiful days, but it has a very different impact on them.
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  Speaker 1: So it's really a reminder that life is rarely one thing. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: we have our perspective of our experience and it's full
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  Speaker 1: of contrast. It's full of mixed feelings and competing truths,
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  Speaker 1: and so that kind of maybe in a roundabout way
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  Speaker 1: brings me to the topic of this week's Mojo Monday.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: It's not about the weather. I actually want to talk
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: about willpower. So willpower can be our fuel for being disciplined.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: So it provides us energy and motivation to resist short
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  Speaker 1: term comfort, short term temptations and distractions, and it allows
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  Speaker 1: us to focus on more on long term goals and
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: maintain a consistent approach. But so many of us struggle
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  Speaker 1: with willpower because most of us already know what we
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: should be doing. So we should be getting up earlier,
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  Speaker 1: we should be exercising more, we should be eating better,
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  Speaker 1: we should stop scrolling, we should start the project, we
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  Speaker 1: should pay that bill, we should clean up the house.
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  Speaker 1: We know what we should be doing that knowing isn't doing.
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  Speaker 1: And this is where there's this tension inside of us.
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  Speaker 1: There's a kind of tug of war going on. There's
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  Speaker 1: a part that's clear and focus and even wise might
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  Speaker 1: not feel like it, but we do have this wise
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  Speaker 1: part of us that knows what we should be doing.
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  Speaker 1: And that's the one that sees the big picture and
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  Speaker 1: knows exactly what we need to do or what we
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: need to do to move forward. And then there's this
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  Speaker 1: other part. This one is a master at coming up
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  Speaker 1: with reasons why today isn't the day. And I'm sure
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: that sounds familiar for many people out there. It's not now,
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  Speaker 1: not yet, maybe later, I'll do it tomorrow. So we
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: tell ourselves we're waiting for something. So maybe we're waiting
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  Speaker 1: for more time or more motivation, we're waiting to feel
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  Speaker 1: like doing it, or we need a clearer path, or
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  Speaker 1: we're waiting for the perfect conditions. But the reality of
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: this is that life doesn't deal in perfect conditions. Life
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: deals in messiness and it deals intentions. Life is really messy.
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  Speaker 1: And I've got really clear on this recently. We will
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: never have a we will never have the perfect conditions,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: we will never be completely safe. We will always be
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: confronted with various levels of pain and discomfort. And the
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  Speaker 1: reality is there will always be a tension between what
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: we want and what we actually do. So the tension
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  Speaker 1: between comfort and growth, the tension between the safety of
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  Speaker 1: the known and the uncertainty around putting ourselves out there
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  Speaker 1: and taking the risks we need to take in order
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  Speaker 1: to grow. And it's within that tension that we have
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  Speaker 1: a choice. And I think this is where awareness. Self
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  Speaker 1: awareness comes in because often we feel like we don't
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  Speaker 1: have a choice. But that choice is not going to
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  Speaker 1: be a perfect one and it's not going to be
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  Speaker 1: pain free, but it's a real choice. So you can start,
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  Speaker 1: even if it's messy, even if it's tiny. You can
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  Speaker 1: edge your way forward, one uncomfortable inch at a time.
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  Speaker 1: So here's the reflection for this week. Ask yourself, what
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  Speaker 1: is the payoff of not staf what's the hidden cost
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: of that? And then what is the payoff of starting
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  Speaker 1: even if it's just small, even if it's just five
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  Speaker 1: minutes a day, And if things stay exactly as they are,
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  Speaker 1: what are the consequences in say six months time or
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  Speaker 1: a year or six years. So that leads to your
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  Speaker 1: future self. What does your future self need you to
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  Speaker 1: do right now? Not to feel better, but to be better?
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  Speaker 1: And I use this all the time now I consider
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  Speaker 1: the needs of my future self and I find this
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  Speaker 1: so motivating. It motivates me and it's like filling me
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  Speaker 1: up with the willpower because my future self, whether that's
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  Speaker 1: the near future like tomorrow or next week, or whether
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  Speaker 1: it's six months or six years, will be the result
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  Speaker 1: of what I do now. So Donald Robertson, who pull's
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: hat on the podcast a couple of times. He's a
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  Speaker 1: psychotherapist and here for expert in stoic philosophy. But he
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: said something years ago which I love. He says, get
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  Speaker 1: out of the library, something like this. I don't have
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  Speaker 1: the exact quote, but it's get out of the library
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  Speaker 1: and become a warrior of action. And I just love
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  Speaker 1: that because you think about it, we are consuming knowledge
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  Speaker 1: all the time. We're coming up with ideas, we have
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  Speaker 1: these fantasies about what the future looks like. We actually
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  Speaker 1: need to embody those. We need to close that gap
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  Speaker 1: between the knowing and the doing. And yes, there is
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  Speaker 1: no denying that that can be super uncomfortable, but so
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  Speaker 1: will staying stuck. So will stay in your comfort zone.
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  Speaker 1: So there is that cliched saying which I've heard many
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  Speaker 1: times before, but I'm going to say, You've got to
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  Speaker 1: choose your discomfort. So I hope that has been valuable
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  Speaker 1: for you. If there is something that you know, you
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  Speaker 1: need to get started on a small step, a small
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  Speaker 1: step towards whatever it is that needs doing, and take
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  Speaker 1: that today. Because as soon as you take that first step,
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  Speaker 1: just notice you're going to get this little dose of
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  Speaker 1: motivation and then all of a sudden, all of a sudden,
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  Speaker 1: the wheel power is going to kick in. So thanks
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  Speaker 1: everybody for joining me this week. Have a great week everyone,
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  Speaker 1: and I will catch you next Monday.