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Mojo Monday - Saying Yes To Life is Saying Yes To Discomfort with Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's Carly Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: So I was the other day, I will admit I
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: was scrolling on Instagram and I saw this post that
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: doctor Stephen Hayes had posted, and he is one of
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: the founders of ACT or Acceptance Commitment Therapy, and it said,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: saying yes to life means saying yes to discomfort. And
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: I saved it because it's true right. Our willingness to
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: say yes to discomfort, to allow it to show up,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: to hang around for a while, shapes or can shape
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: what we choose to do and what we quietly choose
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: not to do. So discomfort is kind of like a gatekeeper.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: If we're unwilling to feel awkward or uncertain or exposed
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: or judged or even alone, then a whole lot of
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: life stays on the other side of that gate. So
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: new experiences, new challenges, new relationships, personal growth, joy all
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: locked behind the discomfort that we're not quite willing to feel.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: And here's a personal example. So I have finally started
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: writing my book. And when I say finally, I mean.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: This has been years of stalling and just dabbling and
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: stopping and overthinking and announcing I'm going to write a
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: book and then not doing it.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: And do you know what held me back? It's discomfort,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: so specifically emotional discomfort, the discomfort of imposter syndrome, the
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: fear of being judged, what people will say about me.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: That in a highly critical voice, that is so persuasive
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: on steering life away from discomfort, because, let's face it,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: if I don't write it, no one can critique it.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: If I don't write it, I can't fail. If I
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: don't write it, I don't have to face that it's
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: comforted people not liking it or not reading it, or
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: not even buying it. And that voice, that internal narrator
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: that we all have, can take over your life if
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: you allow it to. And it's more than a narrator,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: it's a dictator, or can be a dictator of our lives.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: So maybe you've got your own version of this. Maybe
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: there's something you're saying no to that there is really
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: a part of you that really wants to say yes,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: but you convinced yourself that it's too hard. So maybe
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: starting to date again, which could feel really uncomfortable, or
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: having a hard conversation, or traveling on your own and
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: the uncertainty that brings, or changing careers or even learning
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: on a new language. But you keep saying no, no,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: not because you don't want it deep down, but because
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: there's this uncertainty, and that means it's uncomfortable, and that
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: inner voice keeps finding really clever ways to talk you
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: out of it. And if that's you, here's my message
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: for today's Mojo Monday. Say yes anyway, say yes to
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: the discomfort, because chances are you're not actually saying no
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: to whatever it is that you really want to do.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: You're saying no to the discomfort that it brings. So
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: tell their inner voice to take a back seat while
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: you move forward with the racing heart or the shaky
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: hands or the voice that still says don't do it
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: because it's too hard. And even if it doesn't work out,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: you've said yes to life and that matters. That's what
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: brings meaning into our lives. That's how we get out
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: of zombie land and really start to thrive. So these
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: days I say yes to more things. My inner voice
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: say is more than ever and it's still really uncomfortable.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: But that discomforts only their short term, because life isn't
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: about staying in your comfort zone and doing the same
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: thing every day and numbing the hard pit bits and
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: avoiding anything that's uncertain and feels uncomfortable, And don't get
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: caught up in the trap of I don't want to
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: do that if really what you're saying is I don't
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: want to feel the discomfort that comes with that, because
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: they are two very different things. But we're really good
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: at convincing ourselves otherwise. Life is lived through experience. It's
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: lived through showing up, through saying yes even when it
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: feels really hard. And here's something we don't talk enough about.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: We don't have unlimited time. We act like we do,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: but we don't. We don't get to wait forever to
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: feel ready or to live a good life. So whatever
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: it is that you want to do, whether it's booking
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: that trip or making that phone call or starting to
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: date again, now is the time. Not because you have
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: mastered your fear or overcome your emotions, but because you're
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: willing to feel those things and then do that thing anyway.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: So whatever it is for you, no matter how small,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: move towards it this week. Expect the discomfort and see
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: what happens when you say yes to it. You might
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: just feel more alive than you felt in a long time,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: and that is growth. So thank you so much for
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: joining me. Everyone have a great week and I will
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: catch you next week. See ya.