Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 10 - Pleasure and Purpose: Catherine Drysdale's Journey Through Sex and Relationship Coaching

Transcript

Ep 10 - Pleasure and Purpose: Catherine Drysdale's Journey Through Sex and Relationship Coaching · The Kink Consultant

• 0:08
  It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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  on all things kink and dating, relationships and top culture.
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  So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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  to it. Hello and welcome to this week's
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  episode of The King Consultant. I am honored to have a dear
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  friend, Miss Catherine Drysdale, here with me today.
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  And we're going to be talking about all things sex and
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  relationship coaching. Thank you.
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  So much for having. Me, absolutely.
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  I'm so glad we could finally get this done.
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  You have an extremely busy schedule.
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  You are nonstop. So what's been going on lately
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  that has you so busy? Yeah, I mean, I think First
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  things first. So I'm in grad school right now.
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  I'm getting a master's in clinical psychology from
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  Columbia which is super exciting.
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  That's a huge deal. I know.
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  Yeah. And it's crazy.
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  I never, well, I think I always thought I was going to go to
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  grad school, but I thought I was going to get an MBA.
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  And this was like years ago. But like now it feels really
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  validating to know that like this is allowing me to go even
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  further and even deeper on my path and allow me to support
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  people in a different way with more support on like the
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  psychology ecology behind like why we, you know, have sex in
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  certain way is an exploring pleasure.
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  So I'm really excited to dive into research, sex research
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  specifically around women's pleasure, kink, non monogamy,
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  stuff like that. I also host a ton of events here
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  in New York City. We just had our monthly sexpert
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  meet up last night. I've been hosting some like
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  dating events, kinky events and some workshops that are in the
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  midst coming. Yeah, you, I will say are a
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  master networker. This is something that never
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  ceases to be amaze me. So I've been to your sex work
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  meet up and the way you just whipped that up and had, I mean,
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  how many people are on your list now?
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  Probably 150 and are. They all New York City based or
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  are they across? The USI think most people are
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  New York City based where they spend a significant time in New
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  York like yourself, but there are some that live elsewhere,
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  but they just pop in here and there.
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  But yeah, I'd say most people are in New York.
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  And I think it's really cool to see how this group has evolved
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  like throughout the year, really.
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  And I'm excited to evolve this group even more in the winter
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  and beyond and sort of help provide more support to people
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  who are in this space. Because I feel like a lot of us
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  sex experts in whatever capacity, right?
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  So it's not just like sex coaches or sex therapists, sex
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  educators. There are people who work with
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  like sex positive brands or advocacy work and stuff like
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  that. So I think it's really nice,
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  even like writers. So I think it's really nice that
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  we have this diverse community. Everyone has their own niche and
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  lane that they're in. But also what I'm realizing
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  through all this time is like we all have our own struggles and
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  our own challenges. And I think in this space it can
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  feel so isolating, like we're going through it alone when in
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  reality we're not. And so I'm excited to integrate
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  some more like programming in this community of like, OK, if,
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  you know, 10 people struggle with this, like maybe let's have
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  a conversation about it or let's bring in an expert who knows how
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  to go around ads in like the sex space or something like that.
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  So I think having more more invites more help to actually
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  get us out of the thick of things.
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  I know. Well, you've already helped me.
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  I mean, Stripe took down my account temporarily and I did
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  not know what to do. And you immediately got into
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  action. You started connecting with me,
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  with people, people who helped solve the problem.
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  At that stage, we were just kind of early in our discussions.
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  I don't even know if we'd met in person.
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  I don't think we had. I don't.
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  Think we do but I'm just a straight homie.
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  I'm like if I know. Someone.
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  That's struggling. If I have a solution, let me
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  help you, you know and like, I don't always have a solution,
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  but if I don't have a solution, I probably know someone who
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  does. And it's funny, I'm still banned
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  from Stripe. They would not reactivate my
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  account 0. My God, I'm so sorry.
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  I mean, I live in fear of it, you know, because people, people
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  lose money from it. And it's it's indicative of how,
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  I guess, crucified anyone in the sexpert industry is, even if
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  it's educational. I mean, our content is nothing
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  so provocative that it deserves to be banned.
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  We're trying to teach people how to play more safely and just be
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  safer in general, as well as enjoy themselves.
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  We get in trouble for trying to help people.
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  That's what gets me the most. And it's like, I think when it
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  comes to like the content game to like social media platforms
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  and it's like you see other creators who might be more like
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  Wellness based or lifestyle based who do post, you know,
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  stuff in their lingerie And like it goes because my theory is
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  that the more ad dollars you spend on the platform, the more
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  likely you're able to get away with stuff.
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  That's my theory and it's a theory, but it's also like base
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  anecdotal evidence of what I'm seeing across like all the
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  creator space because like I've worked with TikTok since 2020,
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  like I've been a content creator since even before that.
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  I think like 2018 is when I started getting into like the
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  coaching space. So it's like I've been in this
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  field. I've been in this field back
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  when I was stillwellness and traditional life coaching before
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  I transitioned in a sex and relationship.
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  So like, there's a huge disparity on people who are just
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  regular coaches or Wellness creators or whatnot, what
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  they're able to post versus anyone that's educating in this
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  space. I know.
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  And if you're educating about anything vanilla, you get away
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  with a lot. If you get even a little bit
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  edgy, that's it. They are over you, you're done.
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  And then I have, I do have some other friends who post in other
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  areas. I have one friend who posts
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  about motorcycles and she gets banned all the time for no
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  reason. So I guess it's sort of, it can
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  be hit or miss, but I notice anyone talking about straight up
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  like sex positions. They're allowed to simulate them
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  and talk about them and they get away with it all the time.
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  It's wild to even like comedians what they can say.
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  I know because it's a joke or it's, I guess as long as you're
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  the butt of a joke, it's not as big a deal to TikTok and
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  Instagram. But Speaking of you, are I am
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  Catherine Drysdale on both Instagram and TikTok.
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  Yes, yes. And I remember in my early days
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  of Tik toking, yours was one of the first accounts I came across
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  that was actually talking about this stuff.
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  So you were probably 1 of like first to market in the TikTok
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  place. That's so funny.
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  I love I. Mean, yeah, you must have seen
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  that though, right? Like.
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  Yeah, I mean, there weren't many people doing what I'm doing.
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  And I feel like even still, I feel like there's not so many
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  educators or coaches that are successful on TikTok.
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  Cuz like, I know you've grown, you've grown to fame on TikTok
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  too. But like it comes with its own
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  challenges that are different and unique than Instagram.
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  And I feel like both people have found that Instagram is easier
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  to navigate or has been in the past versus TikTok seems like
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  the wild, wild. But I mean, I was lucky that
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  when I got in with TikTok as a TikTok creator, like I was
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  recruited by TikTok to post educational content when I was a
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  life coach. So that's how it went into that
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  program. And that's what helps me grow.
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  But yeah, back when I was starting to create, there
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  weren't many people doing what I'm doing at all.
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  And it definitely was challenging to try to like
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  navigate. Like how do I go about educating
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  in a way that won't get me banned because I don't go live?
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  One of the times, I think one of the first times I went live
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  doing like sex coaching, I said the word masturbate once and I
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  was banned for two weeks. And then I did a a collab live
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  earlier in the year about consent education with one of my
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  friends that has this underwear brand called Ask First where
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  100% of the profits go to consent education in high
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  school. And.
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  So we're giving like scenarios on like what's consensual and
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  what's not? Like what's consent and what's
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  coercion? And she was banned.
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  Like her whole account was taken down.
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  She got it back. We got it back.
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  But it's just like we're providing life saving
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  information and we're still having issues.
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  And like, that's not OK. But that's just like the bigger
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  problem living in this country with, you know, what's happening
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  in the US with, you know, abortion bans and whatnot.
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  I mean, we don't have to bring politics into it, but like, it
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  is political. I mean, when it comes to your
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  own life, if you have to get political for it, you do.
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  That's unfortunate. I cannot believe this is where
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  we are now. But yeah, it's a very
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  puritanical country, and it was built on that.
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  And you see that in so many aspects.
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  Even. Do you know that in Vegas, BDSM
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  is illegal? I know you were telling, yeah.
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  So for me, that's insane. And it's like there are so many
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  other things like coercion that is technically little, but no
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  one gets in trouble for it. But you show up with a bruise
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  and people start asking questions, even if it is
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  consensual. So it's always disappointing to
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  hear this, but that is why we're doing the work we do.
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  Someone's got to do it. So what are what projects are
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  you working on now? You mentioned workshops, do you
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  have any in the works? What have you been doing around
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  workshops recently? So I earlier was it last month
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  in September, I went to Sex Down South, which for those of you
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  who aren't familiar, it's probably one of the biggest sex
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  conferences that exist. It's in Atlanta every single
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  year. This last one was the 10th
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  annual and there I did a pretty like groundbreaking workshop.
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  I think a lot of people don't have this approach, but
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  basically the workshop was helping you release pleasure
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  blocks using, I use NLP, so neurolinguistic programming, EFT
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  tapping and hypnosis, so using subconscious tools to release
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  your pleasure blocks. So that was Part 1 of the
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  workshop. And then Part 2 was I had a
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  group guided masturbation practice, which like is wild to
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  think, you know, like I'm going to tell you how to touch
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  yourself in a room full of other people.
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  And did people actually touch themselves in a a group of
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  people? And was this all women?
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  All men, I'm assuming all women, so.
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  Mostly women. There was one man in the
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  audience who was a partner of someone who was attending.
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  We actually ended up splitting it up.
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  Originally it was supposed to be all at once but my time was
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  early in the morning, but we ended up doing the masturbation
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  part in the dungeon. Funny enough, circle kind of
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  vibes. I had Foria come gave some
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  samples of Awaken. I had laurels give samples of
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  the wearable dental dams for people who wanted a little bit
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  extra like privacy. I had personal fave give some
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  wipes and then basically everyone was in a circle.
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  I provided blindfolds too, because the whole intention of
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  this practice was to get you in your body and out of your head.
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  So we did that NLP earlier to help release what's blocking
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  you. And then essentially I walked
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  everyone through kind of it starts like a guided meditation.
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  So it's like I guide you on a journey to a place where you
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  feel safe. We do some sort of grounding
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  practice where you're connected to the earth.
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  And then I infuse the hypnosis. So we did hypnosis in the self
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  pleasure practice. So I got them to the Theta state
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  and then started giving suggestions and then started
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  instructing on how to touch yourself.
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  So it's kind of like a joy. So it's kind of like jerk off
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  instructions. Yes, yes.
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  Hypnosis in a room full of people and I think for the most
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  part everyone came, which is amazing.
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  That's a great everyone comes. That's the tagline.
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  For it, yeah. That is amazing.
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  Were you able to make it so that everyone sort of comes around
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  the same time or do people go at their own pace?
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  I would think I would need to be on my own.
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  Pace is my yeah. I think in this space, too, it's
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  like everyone does kind of come at their own pace.
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  And I think in a way, I mean, it's edgy.
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  Like, not many people can say that they've masturbated in a
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  room full of people, right? So.
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  A lot of people were feeling a little apprehensive to be even
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  in this space. But also the nature of sex down
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  South is like, OK, if there's any place where I'd feel
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  comfortable to do it, it's probably here surrounded by
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  other, like sexy, nerdy weirdos who are like into this kind of
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  thing. So it's like, that was like an
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  inherent like safe environment to explore.
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  This is part of the education piece is like most of the time
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  when we masturbate, there's usually one way we do it.
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  It's the same hand, it's the same Lube, it's the same toy.
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  It's the same like porn, product, car or whatever, you
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  know, find what works, especially for those of us who
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  like it might take some time to figure it out or it you might
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  not come every time or it might be a little bit of a struggle,
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  or maybe you're in your head. So when we find something that
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  works, often times we just like fucking keep doing it.
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  Absolutely. So for those of us, it's like
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  sometimes we can get off. Like I know by myself if I'm in
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  a rush, if I'm like I just want that stress relief, I can come
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  in like 2 minutes or less. And that's with just my hands.
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  And I don't typically use toys. I go acoustic most of the time.
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  I we've talked about this, we are both fans of acoustic.
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  Yes, yeah, I am the. Exact same.
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  I can't get it in 2 minutes. Not anymore, but.
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  Like that, that shouldn't be a flex.
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  That's not, that's not the flex because you're stopping it.
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  Yeah. And.
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  Sometimes you want it that's fast because you got to get it
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  done. And I think like the average, I
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  forget when the study was done, but I think the average length
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  of time that it takes most women or people with vulvas to orgasm
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  with masturbation, I think it's about 5 minutes.
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  OK. But like that's an average
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  versus, you know, we recommend 20 minutes or more when we're
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  doing foreplay before having penetration with a partner with
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  a penis. So it's like, but that also goes
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  to show like I've had clients who they need 45 minutes in
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  order to come and like that's, that's perfectly OK.
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  And so creating this environment to #1 infuse like pleasure
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  mouthing in a way. So it's like the first like 10
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  minutes of this, you weren't touching your genitals at all.
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  It was just feeling comfortable in the space we put on for you
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  awaken, which is like a CBD Lube ish in a way.
• 14:41
  And it really helps. I think especially for women or
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  those who are struggling with experiencing orgasm, maybe you
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  have, like, limited sensation. Maybe you're stuck in your head
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  more or like, you just feel like you can't get over the edge.
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  Awaken works where, like, you put it on your genitals about 20
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  minutes before you're gonna start activity.
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  So by the end of, like, the masturbation session, it's like
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  people were experiencing more pleasure than they would in,
• 15:07
  like, a regular setting. Yeah, like, enhances the
• 15:10
  experience a little bit more. It is oil based.
• 15:13
  It's coconut oil based. So it's not compatible with
• 15:16
  latex condoms. So that's just something to keep
• 15:18
  in mind. But like Pam stuff or by
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  yourself? Amazing.
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  That's great advice. I've never heard of a program or
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  a workshop like this before, and I love that because I think I
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  always say it starts in the mind and you started by helping relax
• 15:32
  people's minds. So is there any quick and dirty
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  teaser you can give to sort of help people on their journey who
• 15:38
  might just be starting and trying to release a block or
• 15:41
  wanting to get more in their body while they masturbate?
• 15:44
  Yeah, I think #1 it's really important to.
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  And maybe this is like an opportunity to like journal or
• 15:52
  just think about like, how do I define pleasure?
• 15:55
  How do I define intimacy? How do I define sex?
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  How do I define relationship? And I think thinking about how
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  you define certain things that can help us figure out what your
• 16:07
  particular block is because a lot of people realize that like
• 16:10
  they might have certain blocks that are created from, you know,
• 16:14
  religious upbringings or the culture that we grew up in.
• 16:17
  Sometimes it's something that is more subconscious, like no one
• 16:21
  actually communicated it to us, and then sometimes it's
• 16:24
  something where it's just deeply ingrained in the culture and
• 16:28
  that's just what it is. So I think it's important to
• 16:30
  identify what your beliefs are and then ask yourself, is this
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  mine or is this someone elses? Yeah, like the huge game
• 16:39
  changer. And that's where like we do with
• 16:41
  the NLP, we're able to go to the root of the belief and release
• 16:45
  it like that. So usually within like 20-30
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  minutes or so. And then with EFT tapping, I
• 16:51
  think is a great resource for anyone cuz you can do this by
• 16:54
  yourself. You don't need a practitioner to
• 16:56
  help you with it. But I really like using EFT
• 16:59
  tapping as a belief bridge. So going from your disempowered
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  belief to the more empowered belief.
• 17:05
  So what that would look like, and for those, those of you who
• 17:08
  are like new to tapping, I recommend using one of two
• 17:10
  points #1 would be just the side of the hand.
• 17:14
  Yeah. Or I really like this point if
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  like, if you're someone that has a lot of anxiety, is the middle
• 17:20
  of the chest OK? Because this activates like the
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  vagus nerve. So it feels calming for me.
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  So like when I would drive, I don't in New York anymore.
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  I could still be driving and tapping here or like tap on the
• 17:34
  subway because like, people stress me out, but typically
• 17:37
  what you do is like you. I mean, I don't know.
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  No, me too. Me too.
• 17:42
  The energy in New York. I hate people.
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  It's just there's a lot of people all the time, yeah.
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  In the subway especially, and you're in close proximity, you
• 17:49
  feel that energy. Yeah, no, it's insane.
• 17:52
  But I like topping because you can do this like out and about.
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  I've done this like sitting at a restaurant before on a plane,
• 17:58
  wherever. And essentially you can just
• 18:00
  like top here if you want. Or what I invite you to do is
• 18:04
  either say out loud or in your head, if you're in public, speak
• 18:08
  out like how you're feeling now and then how you want to feel.
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  So like, even though I'm feeling disconnected from pleasure right
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  now, I wholly and completely love and accept and forgive
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  myself. Oh, I love that.
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  Yeah, and that's just the beginning statement.
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  Yeah. And then you keep talking out
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  loud how you're feeling. So like, I'm not feeling good in
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  my body. I'm having a bad body image day.
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  I'm on my fucking period. I am so bloated.
• 18:34
  I've shot five times today. And Amanda knows because like.
• 18:38
  I feel. Like I'm just feeling overall
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  icky. I haven't masturbated in four
• 18:43
  days. But even though I feel like shit
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  right now, I know that it's possible to feel better.
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  Because I have felt better about my body and I have felt better
• 18:53
  about my sexuality. And even though I'm in an
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  interesting space in my life, and even though I'm on my period
• 19:01
  right now so I'm not feeling super sexy, I know that I'm 100%
• 19:06
  that bitch. And I know that I'm losing the
• 19:09
  sexuality and I know that I'm deserving a feeling pleasure.
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  So even if I don't want to touch my clit right now, there's
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  nothing wrong with me. Like, I don't have to masturbate
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  to feel good. I don't have to have sex to feel
• 19:25
  good. Maybe I just want to be naked in
• 19:27
  the bath and just wear lingerie for myself, and that's OK.
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  And you know what? I do feel sexy.
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  And even if my mom appeared, who the fuck cares, right?
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  I was just like, I love that. Having fun with it.
• 19:42
  Yeah, I'm like. Well, there's our sound bite and
• 19:47
  I've done some hypnotherapy before, like had it done.
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  I'm a huge believer in it and my hypnotherapist has done work
• 19:53
  with me like that before and it really does make a huge
• 19:56
  difference in how we present in the world and how we feel about
• 19:59
  ourselves. Yeah.
• 20:00
  And like hypnosis, like I will stay with clients, like I tend
• 20:04
  to only do hypnosis for like really deep, deep seated
• 20:09
  beliefs, like usually at the halfway point of coaching
• 20:13
  because a lot of people it's like you have to feel like you
• 20:16
  trust the person, person that's doing it right.
• 20:18
  I think there's a lot of misconceptions with hypnosis and
• 20:21
  people think it's being done to you, but all hypnosis is self
• 20:24
  hypnosis. It just helps you get to the
• 20:27
  level to release beliefs or create suggestions.
• 20:31
  So like like in the masturbation experience, the suggestions were
• 20:34
  helping enhance pleasure, feeling connected to your body,
• 20:38
  connected to pleasure, enjoying yourself, staying out of your
• 20:41
  head. So it's like it's able to allow
• 20:44
  you to either enhance how you're already feeling or remove things
• 20:48
  that are so deeply stuck that you can't get it any other way.
• 20:51
  Yeah, that it makes a ton of sense.
• 20:54
  And that's when my experience as well, because people imagine
• 20:56
  someone goes with a watch or something and drops you into
• 20:59
  this state of hypnosis, but it really is so much of your own
• 21:03
  internal power coming out and helping you work through things.
• 21:07
  OK, so if I wanted to attend one of these workshops or find out
• 21:11
  about things you're throwing, how would I find out?
• 21:13
  Where can I go to learn more? The first place definitely would
• 21:16
  be follow me on Instagram and TikTok.
• 21:19
  I'm at I am Katherine Drysdale. Also my website,
• 21:24
  katherinedrysdale.com. I'd say on socials, probably
• 21:28
  more updated. I know I'm like, I'm trying to
• 21:33
  hire an assistant right now so that I can get everything else
• 21:36
  updated. But yeah, definitely on socials.
• 21:38
  I host events all the time. I have online workshops that I'm
• 21:43
  planning for the next three months.
• 21:45
  So there's gonna be a lot of juicy things.
• 21:48
  And then I'm considering opening up a group program, I think in
• 21:52
  December. Oh.
• 21:54
  Well, I definitely want details on that when that comes up.
• 21:56
  So I, I mean, I'm already following you and one of your
• 21:59
  biggest fans, so I'm super excited about that.
• 22:04
  One of the things I don't think we've ever talked about before
• 22:07
  was what made you make the shift into sex and relationships.
• 22:11
  For those of you who aren't aware of my story, I like many
• 22:16
  people, many women, I experienced sexual assault when
• 22:19
  I was in college and I did not have the tools, I did not have
• 22:23
  the resources, I did not have the support that I needed to
• 22:26
  heal that at the time. And so I did what most people
• 22:29
  do, compartmentalize it, put it in the back of my head and like
• 22:32
  tried to live a normal college experience.
• 22:35
  Fast forward to 2017, I think I had a mental breakdown.
• 22:40
  This was during Me Too movement, the Brock Turner case, like,
• 22:44
  really triggered the fuck out of me.
• 22:46
  And also that that show 13 reasons why it there was like, I
• 22:51
  knew it was about suicide, but not about rape.
• 22:53
  Yeah. So I watched like, there was a
• 22:55
  very graphic scene there. And so I watched it thinking,
• 22:58
  oh, maybe this will help me process.
• 23:00
  No, it fucking like, unlocked the worst mental breakdown I've
• 23:05
  ever had. I had to go on a medical leave
• 23:07
  of absence from my job and entertainment because I went
• 23:10
  from crying in the bathroom because entertainment's already
• 23:13
  toxic to crying at my desk. I went back to school for
• 23:17
  digital marketing. I was taking like pre MBA math
• 23:20
  classes. I like started working out with
• 23:23
  a trainer. Like basically my whole
• 23:25
  intention was to like get myself to a point where I felt OK.
• 23:29
  And then I was in a personal branding class.
• 23:31
  It was how to become an influencer because I wanted to
• 23:33
  make Cleo Instagram famous. And the first night of class,
• 23:37
  the professor said there's a difference between having
• 23:39
  influence and having impact. And that was my light bulb
• 23:42
  moment. So that is how I got into
• 23:44
  coaching. So it first started with, you
• 23:47
  know, mental health support. I started like A blog.
• 23:50
  My first iteration of my business was called like Live
• 23:53
  Authentically Now. And I got into a life coaching
• 23:56
  certification, didn't feel quite qualified.
• 23:59
  So then I got into NLPEFT hypnosis.
• 24:03
  I'm also Reiki certified and I'm board certified and all that.
• 24:06
  I know very weird, very woo woo. And I started in like the more
• 24:10
  woo woo. But I always knew that I wanted
• 24:12
  to work in the sex space. I just needed to get to the
• 24:14
  point where I was at a certain point with like processing my
• 24:18
  trauma that I felt safe enough to and like strong enough to
• 24:22
  support other women going through it too.
• 24:25
  And so it wasn't until I started exploring NLP where I was
• 24:29
  actually able to heal at the level where like, I wasn't
• 24:32
  crying every single time I talked about my rape and like,
• 24:36
  it was life changing for me. And because I have that kind of
• 24:39
  transformation, I was like, OK, I can help people in this way.
• 24:43
  And I also like, I don't know, I knew I wanted to do coaching
• 24:46
  versus therapy because I wanted to not have to dilute myself.
• 24:50
  I wanted to be able to be myself, share my stories, be
• 24:53
  authentic, like still bring in the elements of my first
• 24:56
  business, be authentic in my message, how I communicate, how
• 25:00
  I talk to people because I want people to feel less alone in
• 25:03
  their experience. And like that's, you know,
• 25:06
  that's kind of kind of like my why it's like I was fumbling
• 25:09
  when it came to having sex. Like I did not have a great time
• 25:12
  starting to have sex. But like, it doesn't have to be
• 25:15
  that way. And just cuz I had it that way
• 25:17
  doesn't mean other people have to have that experience too.
• 25:20
  And that's what you do so well. You didn't just take people from
• 25:23
  sort of healing from their own trauma, you took them right
• 25:26
  through to finding pleasure in their orgasms again and being
• 25:29
  able to have orgasms again. You focused on not just getting
• 25:33
  past the trauma, but moving into the pleasure.
• 25:35
  And I think a lot of people to like, leave that out of the
• 25:37
  equation. Like I feel like in a lot of
• 25:39
  trauma spaces, and that's part of why, like I needed to get to
• 25:42
  a certain point before I helped people through it.
• 25:44
  But it's like, it's so focused on healing trauma.
• 25:46
  But like, no one really talks about how to navigate
• 25:49
  relationships after experiencing trauma, right?
• 25:52
  Or like how to explore intimacy. Or maybe this trauma happened
• 25:56
  like 10 years ago, but you're with a new partner and now
• 25:59
  you're getting flashbacks or, you know, you had pleasure
• 26:02
  before, you were able to come before, but now you're not.
• 26:05
  And like there was one woman in particular who came to this
• 26:08
  workshop at Sex Down South and she told me she was like, I
• 26:12
  haven't been able to come with a partner at all like for years,
• 26:16
  like since this trauma. And then she didn't even come to
• 26:19
  the masturbation portion. But after doing the the NLP and
• 26:24
  the EFT tapping, she came with her partner 7 times later that
• 26:28
  day. Holy shit.
• 26:29
  So it's like you can release shit like that.
• 26:31
  And we didn't even go deep, deep into trauma.
• 26:34
  We just worked on belief systems cuz I'm, I'm in the, the camp
• 26:37
  where I think it's important to talk about trauma and feel
• 26:40
  supported in trauma. But I only do one-on-one when it
• 26:43
  comes to going deep, deep trauma work because I think it's
• 26:46
  important to feel held and supported and everyone have that
• 26:50
  individual experience versus in a group.
• 26:52
  Yeah, we can talk more about like, belief systems and what's
• 26:55
  keeping us stuck. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 26:57
  And I just want to touch on what you mentioned about the
• 26:59
  difference between therapy and coaching, because obviously
• 27:01
  we're both certified coaches in coaching.
• 27:04
  I do feel you can be more real with people.
• 27:05
  You're not just holding space and allowing them to work
• 27:08
  through it, you're sort of injecting some reality and some
• 27:10
  passion into it. And sometimes I find that
• 27:12
  therapy, and I love my therapist wouldn't traitor for the world,
• 27:15
  but you know, coaching and therapy to provide 2 totally
• 27:18
  different things. 100% and I think like the framework like
• 27:22
  how I like to describe it is coaching is more action oriented
• 27:26
  and solution driven whereas therapy sometimes I think it's
• 27:30
  great like not hating therapy. I have, I'm back in therapy now
• 27:33
  with a new therapist. But like, I think therapy can
• 27:37
  help create the awareness. I think therapy is a good first
• 27:40
  step. And I will turn down clients if
• 27:42
  they haven't been to therapy or don't have the awareness because
• 27:45
  I want someone who's already done the work and they just want
• 27:48
  more accountability or they're at a certain level, they're
• 27:51
  feeling stagnant and they know they need something else.
• 27:53
  So it's like those are the kind of people that I want to work
• 27:56
  with. And I do think therapy and
• 27:57
  coaching can work great hand in hand, but they're very, very
• 28:00
  different. Absolutely, and both extremely
• 28:02
  valid and both necessary in their own way.
• 28:05
  So what is next for Catherine Drysdale?
• 28:08
  I mean, you've taken us to December, but.
• 28:11
  That's such a loaded question. Well, after my master's program,
• 28:15
  one of my goals is that I want to be a college level human
• 28:21
  sexuality professor. So I'm really drawn to doing
• 28:24
  more teaching because I feel called that I need to help more
• 28:28
  people at a wider scale. And I think with K12 sex
• 28:33
  education, that's just a beast that I don't want to get into
• 28:37
  right now. So I'm like, OK, college level,
• 28:40
  everyone's adults, everyone's, yeah, adults.
• 28:42
  Like, let's start there. Because there's still so much
• 28:44
  worked that can be done. And I think like, helping, I
• 28:48
  don't know, our young adults to be more informed and having
• 28:52
  conversations about sex. And not even just sex.
• 28:55
  I think sex needs to be taught in a way where it's a holistic
• 28:59
  sex education. So about relationships, about
• 29:02
  emotional regulation, about like what?
• 29:05
  What even is domestic violence? Like how do you recognize if
• 29:08
  someone's unsafe person, not just, you know, STIs and like
• 29:12
  how to avoid them and what no one tells you what to do when
• 29:15
  you have herpes, which I have, you know, so like no one
• 29:19
  educates on all of these things. And like we need the full
• 29:22
  education. We also need, you know, on
• 29:25
  gender identity. We need sexuality, sexual
• 29:28
  orientation. So I think it's, I don't know,
• 29:30
  for me, I'm feeling called to do more educating both like online,
• 29:34
  in person and, and like university level.
• 29:37
  And then I also want to do more sex research specifically around
• 29:40
  pleasure because I feel like it's under research,
• 29:43
  underfunded, especially for women, but also exploring
• 29:46
  different dynamics, you know, like kink and non monogamy.
• 29:49
  There's so much that's not yet like it's very untapped right
• 29:53
  now. So.
• 29:54
  There are so few resources to send people to.
• 29:57
  I have so many people coming to ask me about like, well, who
• 29:59
  should I follow to learn more about Poly or ENM?
• 30:02
  And those are not areas that I'm really well versed in because
• 30:05
  I'm more of a monogamous girl and there's nothing wrong with
• 30:09
  either type of relationship. But I've noticed that there
• 30:11
  aren't a ton of places to send people for this information.
• 30:14
  It's almost like we are evolving at a pace faster than anyone is
• 30:17
  really talking about these things and I hope that you can
• 30:20
  help to fix that and sort of right that wrong in how little
• 30:24
  there is readily available, especially at any school level
• 30:28
  or even college level. There's no education there.
• 30:31
  And what I find interesting, like even in my master's
• 30:34
  program, like I think my program's so cool because you
• 30:36
  get to pick the classes that you're taking fully.
• 30:39
  Like there's no required classes.
• 30:41
  But in every single one of my classes, I don't have a required
• 30:44
  textbook. And it's because the information
• 30:46
  changes so rapidly. So it's like we might pull from
• 30:50
  chapters from certain textbooks, but like we're studying,
• 30:54
  studying research that is current.
• 30:57
  So and we're talking about current issues right now.
• 31:00
  Yeah, that's amazing. And down to the point.
• 31:02
  It's just moving so quickly. We are kind of coming up on
• 31:06
  time. But this has been such a
• 31:08
  pleasure. I really, I mean, I enjoy
• 31:10
  talking to you everyday, but this has been a lot of fun
• 31:12
  because I even learned stuff that I didn't know you were
• 31:14
  working on. So this was great.
• 31:16
  Catherine, thank you so much. And for everyone out there,
• 31:18
  remember you couldn't follow Catherine Drysdale.
• 31:20
  I am Catherine Drysdale on both TikTok and Instagram.
• 31:22
  And your website is catherinedrysdale.com.
• 31:25
  And that's Catherine with AC. Yep.
• 31:27
  Catherine, thank you so much. Way to spell it?
• 31:31
  I'm going to get so many messages from Catherine, so the
• 31:33
  guy you probably will too. That's fine.
• 31:37
  Thank you so much. If you enjoyed this episode,
• 31:41
  don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with
• 31:44
  anyone who might find it interesting.
• 31:45
  If you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
• 31:48
  future episodes, feel free to reach out e-mail
• 31:51
  info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
• 31:55
  on.