Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent vs The Trust
Transcript
- 0:00Oh god. Oh my god.
- 0:13I want to hear everything, too.
- 0:16Technically, you could turn it up at this point.
- 0:18I could, but then, you know.
- 0:20What are we paying you for? Yeah, that's true.
- 0:23Hand jobs. I pay you in compliments.
- 0:26No, you don't. I said you did a great.
- 0:28You do a great job. You did.
- 0:29Thank you. I feel good now.
- 0:32Oh, man.
- 0:33You guys ever see that video of the orangutan on the runaway segue?
- 0:36Oh, I thought you were going to talk about the monkey that has sex with a frog
- 0:39until it dies.
- 0:41I mean, you're just funnier.
- 0:43Oh, you haven't seen that.
- 0:44Yeah. Oh, man. I think into a love love.
- 0:46Yeah, it was at the zoo.
- 0:48He just like grabs it and like
- 0:50until the frog does or the monkey dies.
- 0:52The frog. Oh, I thought the monkey died.
- 0:53No, he's funnier if the monkey throws it to death and like right
- 0:56in front of a bunch of kids and stuff.
- 0:59Oh, man.
- 1:00Well, there goes my segue joke.
- 1:02Anyway, welcome back to Cage Match colon, a roundabout way of meeting Nicholas Cage.
- 1:07I'm your host, Sean, here with avid monkey lover.
- 1:12I'm Nick. And I love monkeys.
- 1:17And our producer.
- 1:18Peter, I don't love anything right now.
- 1:23You let us into your house, Peter.
- 1:25That's true. You kind of asked for this.
- 1:27I did. Yes. So this is Cage Match.
- 1:29It's 64 Nick Cage movies going head to head bracket style.
- 1:33We sort of seeded them and put them in different categories of funny,
- 1:38serious, fucking weird action.
- 1:42Yeah. Tough guy. That's okay.
- 1:43We kind of got two tough guys this week.
- 1:45Hey, thanks for noticing.
- 1:47I've been working out a little more.
- 1:49Hey, hi, yo.
- 1:51No, this is actually the funny bracket.
- 1:53Yeah. Oh, God.
- 1:55Really?
- 1:56How do you think it was the tough guy bracket?
- 1:58I just rewatched The Trust and it is not funny.
- 2:00Oh, it's hilarious.
- 2:02It has its moments.
- 2:03At least two thirds of it is hilarious.
- 2:05Yeah. And there's sprinklings of great even after that.
- 2:09Well, go on.
- 2:10Why don't we just get right into it then?
- 2:11The Trust starring Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood.
- 2:15Banger of it.
- 2:16What was your favorite Elijah Wood movie?
- 2:19Currently, The Trust.
- 2:21It's up there. It really is.
- 2:22I mean, I love Elijah Wood.
- 2:24I always have. He's always got a lot of stuff.
- 2:26He gives a great performance in everything.
- 2:28Yeah, like I think I'm maybe one of the only people in the world
- 2:31that liked North, but that really stood out to me.
- 2:34And this is all like the biography of Kanye's kid, right?
- 2:37Correct. Yeah.
- 2:38Kanye's kid is Elijah Wood.
- 2:40He plays Northwest.
- 2:42Correct. OK.
- 2:43So The Trust and Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood play two evidence room
- 2:48cops working in Las Vegas, going nowhere fast.
- 2:52Elijah Wood's life sucks.
- 2:54So does Nicholas Cage.
- 2:55Nick Cage's level with his dad played by Jerry Lewis, of all people.
- 2:58Yeah. Who would have guessed he was still doing things?
- 3:00Well, he wasn't after this movie because then he died.
- 3:03Yeah. I mean, I thought he was dead before this.
- 3:05Yeah. Peter and I had talked about that.
- 3:07We're like, did you know Jerry Lewis was alive in 2016?
- 3:10Well, I mean, I read that they like had to have him.
- 3:13It's got to be Jerry Lewis.
- 3:14Why? He doesn't do fucking anything.
- 3:16OK. Yeah. And we're friends.
- 3:19And apparently, Nick Cage just wanted to be in a movie with him.
- 3:21So asked him to.
- 3:22Nicholas Cage plays Jim Stone and Elijah Wood plays Waters.
- 3:27He has a first name, too, but it's David.
- 3:30Oh, David. It's Elijah Waters.
- 3:32Elijah Waters.
- 3:33They know each other better than Elijah Woods.
- 3:38I'm a pro. There's also Elijah Wind.
- 3:41Elijah Hart.
- 3:42Oh, you beat me to it.
- 3:44By your powers combined, I am a decent character actor.
- 3:48Yeah. Have you watched his episode of Hot Ones?
- 3:50It's really good.
- 3:51I mean, I like Hot Ones.
- 3:53Yeah. Easy show to watch.
- 3:54It's interesting because he really speaks with reverence
- 3:57about Nick Cage and that performance and what he brings to the table.
- 4:02And I feel like that's pretty consistent narrative across the board.
- 4:05Yeah. Well, what I saw, I was only able to find one interview about this film,
- 4:09and it was just Elijah Wood and the director.
- 4:12And Elijah Wood was just talking about how he'd always wanted to work with the cage
- 4:15and how, you know, consummate, professional and great
- 4:18and brought a lot of energy to the performance.
- 4:20Fun fact, they had two days to read and rehearse the script before filming started.
- 4:25Well, he nailed it then, because Nick Cage's character
- 4:29I thought was very well performed.
- 4:31I thought both of them were great.
- 4:33Well, yes. But we're here to talk about Nick.
- 4:35Yeah. For a 2016 film starring Nicholas Cage,
- 4:39the production values on this were good.
- 4:42His mustaches were great.
- 4:43The mustache was great.
- 4:44His acting was peak good.
- 4:46Cage overall, really good cage.
- 4:51I was a little disappointed that Ethan Suppley didn't have a mustache, too.
- 4:54Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ethan Suppley.
- 4:56So, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 4:57So, yeah, the film revolves around these two discovering a drug dealer
- 5:02has a safe at the back of a convenience store, and they decide to rob it
- 5:07for no particular reason other than their lives aren't great.
- 5:10And why not?
- 5:12They're just shitty cops.
- 5:14But to be fair, all the cops in this movie are shitty.
- 5:17I feel like we watched movies at very different energy levels on this one.
- 5:22I'll get you to the same point.
- 5:23Spin this for me.
- 5:24OK, so we've got two evidence cops
- 5:29not not living their best lives.
- 5:33Elijah Wood, we start out the movie with him
- 5:35just banging a prostitute and sex worker.
- 5:39Thank you lifelessly staring at the mole underneath her mammary gland.
- 5:45Is that how we're doing it now?
- 5:46I like that you covered that one left it.
- 5:50Yes, sir. Left it and
- 5:54smoking a joint jumping out.
- 5:56And that's when we find out, like as he's getting dressed, that he's a cop
- 5:59and Nicholas Gage, he's on scene.
- 6:02And there's like there's like a body and everybody's like, you know,
- 6:07walking around picking up the evidence and then out of the closet.
- 6:11But this other guy who's just knocking people down
- 6:15and Elijah Woods all stoned and he's just laughing on the ground
- 6:19as everybody goes chasing this dude.
- 6:21The one guy gets punched in the balls.
- 6:23Yeah, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert.
- 6:25You all right, Bert? Fuck you.
- 6:31So that's how we get introduced to him.
- 6:34Nicholas Cage's character is like petitioning to get all this new
- 6:39like evidence technology stuff.
- 6:43And the captain and the commander are just like passing him back and forth
- 6:49basically, just like neither of them wanting to do anything about it.
- 6:52But then like the the captain sends him down to the police auction
- 6:57to like secure a tractor for his son in law
- 7:01because he just doesn't want to hit the auction.
- 7:03It's like this movie's fucking hit the whole cylinder.
- 7:06It's great. I was just trying to get the overall plot out of the overall plot.
- 7:10So we can fucking cares about that.
- 7:11Discuss the finer points of this film,
- 7:14like how to hide drugs in an engine block.
- 7:16Fine summaries. Nicholas Cage is dealing with this thing with engine block guy.
- 7:24And they find all this cocaine and Nicholas Cage takes a look at the paperwork
- 7:29that came in with this car that had all the cocaine in it.
- 7:32Got all the cocaine hidden in it and sees like this guy who had the car
- 7:38he had posted bail and it was like two hundred thousand dollars
- 7:42and it was posted in cash and he's like, well, that seems suspicious.
- 7:46So he looks into it more and gets Elijah Wood involved.
- 7:52And they start like tailing this drug dealer because he's out on bail
- 7:56and they see that he's got a job and at this hotel,
- 7:59Nicholas, you know, plays Elijah Woods boss and probably best only friend.
- 8:04Yeah, I think it's about like that.
- 8:06They seem to only have each other.
- 8:08They decided to make cage does a sweet montage
- 8:11where he gets an undercover job at the casino.
- 8:13And there's just like shots of him like making friends with everybody
- 8:18and dancing in the break room and like carrying
- 8:23platters of like cheeseburgers and like turning corners
- 8:27and like tipping it all over the place and having like the whoa
- 8:31inside of himself.
- 8:33Oh, so then they find out that like there's these shipments
- 8:37leaving the casino and nobody would let him like near it
- 8:40because it was, you know, involving the drug dealer guy.
- 8:43And so Nick Cage follows this van one night
- 8:47and sees where it's going with this delivery.
- 8:49And then he calls up Elijah Wood and.
- 8:52All right, this is when he shows him the Polaroids. Yeah.
- 8:56And so they go and they're just out back of this convenience store
- 9:01and he's showing them around and there's these pictures and Elijah Woods.
- 9:06Like these pictures are terrible.
- 9:07Would you have like a homeless guy take him and hit cages?
- 9:10Just like, well, I wasn't going to do it.
- 9:13I paid him a little. Yeah.
- 9:15Just all right. All right.
- 9:17They just the mental justification that you see in their eyes.
- 9:22It's like, well, he was paid, so it's probably fine.
- 9:26And that's when they find out that there's this vault, a creepy locked up.
- 9:30They find the locked up
- 9:31chair lock and freezer.
- 9:32Yeah. And there was something else they see, and I couldn't quite make it out
- 9:35in the photo, but it was a penis.
- 9:37That was a penis. Yeah.
- 9:38Yeah. Did you wait? Did you not get that?
- 9:40I did not see that. Oh, no.
- 9:41The homeless guy took a picture down his pants.
- 9:44Oh, no. And it was just homeless. That's amazing.
- 9:46Yeah. That's why Nick Cage was like, you found it.
- 9:49That's pretty good.
- 9:50I mean, Nick Cage is Nick Cage's sense of humor in this is so good.
- 9:55He's he's got like such dad jokes.
- 9:57Oh, man. He's just always pulling little pranks on Elijah Wood.
- 10:02Well, OK, so let's get into that a little bit,
- 10:04because one of my favorite lines in this is what it's Elijah Wood quote,
- 10:08but they're at the strip club where they're first starting to like
- 10:11brainstorm the heist and they're sitting down
- 10:16and they're looking down this bar and Elijah Wood just goes.
- 10:20I think that guy's getting a hand job, but he's still eating.
- 10:24So it's hard to tell.
- 10:26Yeah. I love what he sat down in this strip club.
- 10:31And he's just looking around.
- 10:32He's like, where did you bring me?
- 10:35And Nick Cage is just drinking coffee and can't get a refill.
- 10:40Classic. There is a lot about this movie.
- 10:42I really do enjoy mostly involving the two of them.
- 10:46They have great chemistry and a lot of fun playing off each other
- 10:49for the heist when they find that there's a safe there.
- 10:51They have to get, you know, the diamond tipped drill bit to drill
- 10:55through what 12 inches of concrete.
- 10:58It was three feet or something like that.
- 11:01And then 12 inches is nothing.
- 11:02I could drill through 12 inches of concrete.
- 11:04It was also steel that they had to drill through.
- 11:06Well, concrete and steel, wasn't it?
- 11:08Yeah, but concrete doesn't concrete. Nothing.
- 11:10I don't work in the trades.
- 11:14Crime. Yes.
- 11:16Crime trades.
- 11:17So when he has to call Cologne, Germany to like place this order
- 11:22and the two Germans are on the other end of the phone and Nick Cage,
- 11:24you know, goes from German to yeah, I'll have my people call you.
- 11:27When someone walks into his office, one of the Germans turns the other
- 11:29and says, you know, he's acting weird.
- 11:31Maybe he's a bank robber.
- 11:33The first guy goes, so cool. Yeah.
- 11:38Yeah, I like those Germans. Yeah.
- 11:39Yeah, those were good Germans.
- 11:40The first half, you know, the first act of this film has its
- 11:43has its wackiness and as they set up for the caper.
- 11:47And that quickly goes away when Nick Cage just murders a guy.
- 11:53Yeah, there's like this weird sub level of Cage's character.
- 12:00So like just dark and determined in this going out
- 12:04and just telling jokes with the gun dealer, like as he's picking up guns
- 12:08for their little heist and then he's just like intentionally antagonizing
- 12:14this guy just to like drive his attention like away from Cage
- 12:19while Cage like discreetly loads a gun and shoots the gun dealer
- 12:24like right there and just leaves him and it's like wild.
- 12:27One thing I do want to talk about this film first time feature film directors
- 12:31back there only film to date.
- 12:33They have another movie coming out next year with Nicolas Cage.
- 12:36The attention to like detail in this film, the show don't tell of their storytelling.
- 12:42As you were saying, when he kills the guy, he's trying to distract him
- 12:44with buffoonery and is wearing glasses for the first time.
- 12:49He takes out his like glasses, casing glasses, and that's where he's hidden
- 12:51the bullets to just shoot the guy in the head.
- 12:54Also, how he finds out about Bobo, the gun dealer, because they work in evidence.
- 12:58So he just went and found a gun in evidence,
- 13:01tracked down the case file and found who it was on and then reached out to that guy.
- 13:05I know it feels like if you were a cop, you would have a ton of intel
- 13:08to do like a good crime and and they did.
- 13:12I mean, they had a ton of good intel to do a crime.
- 13:17OK, actually, you know what? They did do a good crime.
- 13:19They could have totally they were just bad at doing a good crime.
- 13:22Well, Elijah Wood was bad at having a conscience.
- 13:25Yeah, he or being too afraid. Exactly.
- 13:28He was too afraid.
- 13:29I mean, that Cage was fully willing to just kill another cop
- 13:33would just happen to like come upon them.
- 13:36That was a security guard cop is a little term.
- 13:38That was a security guard. Yeah. All right.
- 13:39Yeah. He's just always fucking with Elijah.
- 13:43But I love it.
- 13:44Like when he like plays like he didn't get the van for the heist.
- 13:50Like I thought you were going to do it.
- 13:51Oh, I'm sorry. Like, I don't know.
- 13:54I guess I goofed up.
- 13:55It's like I goofed up.
- 13:57You realize we might get killed tomorrow, right?
- 14:01Just throws the keys out there.
- 14:02Yeah, they have terrific, terrific chemistry between the two.
- 14:06It was just a joke, just a little pre-heist joke.
- 14:09But I mean, ultimately, it's that always fucking with Elijah Wood
- 14:12that becomes Nick Cage's downfall.
- 14:14The way they're going to break in is through the apartment above the safe.
- 14:18Mm hmm. So they have to like take out the guy who lives there.
- 14:21But turns out he had a lady friend over.
- 14:23That guy gets killed and the lady friend is now hostage.
- 14:26So now they have this hostage who gets three lines of dialogue.
- 14:31Three lines of dialogue besides Snivellane.
- 14:34Yeah, her character name is just woman.
- 14:35Yeah. Yeah. Other than that, she's only there to be a plot device.
- 14:41They eventually start drilling.
- 14:43Security guard shows up.
- 14:44Elijah Wood talks him down. Nick Cage almost shoots him.
- 14:47They get into the safe.
- 14:48Discreetly. Almost almost shoots him.
- 14:50Discreetly through the window, through the blinds, just sort of split.
- 14:54One of the later little comedy scenes is the belt on the press breaks.
- 14:59So they have to like so Nick Cage makes a little incendiary device
- 15:02to like put in the hole to like blow out the last like half an inch.
- 15:06And there Elijah was just throwing mattresses
- 15:09and whatever he can over the windows, then goes outside to have a smoke
- 15:12and sees like what happens from the street and just just big flash of light.
- 15:18Smoke alarms are going off.
- 15:19Alarms going off.
- 15:21But in premise, that would work. Yeah, it does.
- 15:23Yeah. Well, it does, because it's a movie.
- 15:25But the science behind it works, because it's the same as like
- 15:29how you would build like a flash pot or a concussion pot.
- 15:32Peter, call the Mythbusters, get them in on this.
- 15:35I feel like they don't do as many crimes as we want them to.
- 15:38They should have done crimes.
- 15:40They've been great at crime.
- 15:41Fuck. Can you imagine how much stuff they would have gotten away with?
- 15:43And they're just like, now this is for a show.
- 15:47And like Jamie just hang glides away.
- 15:51Oh, my God. Let's talk about this.
- 15:54I love heists.
- 15:55I thought we were going to talk about hang gliders.
- 15:57Now we have to do that again. Thanks to you.
- 15:59Yeah, it's going to be awesome.
- 16:01But I love heists.
- 16:02All things heists, even bad heists.
- 16:04I love them. Heiser, great.
- 16:06Cool crimes.
- 16:08I enjoy cool crimes as well.
- 16:10And not cool crimes.
- 16:12Well, I'm on the fence about the not cool crimes.
- 16:15Well, what would be a not cool crime?
- 16:19Not reviewing this podcast.
- 16:22Oh, yeah. That's a not cool crime.
- 16:24You should all get out there on your podcast.
- 16:27Reviewing this podcast, but not listening to it.
- 16:30Oh, yeah. Yeah, whatever.
- 16:33Yeah. So it's a it's a great old heist film.
- 16:35Well, it's a heist film.
- 16:36Yeah. When they finally get into the vault, it's not drugs or money
- 16:40necessary, like to hear white room with little shelves full of diamonds.
- 16:45Yeah, that's a pretty high tech vault.
- 16:47Yeah, it was pretty wild.
- 16:48But also like, OK, so here's a rub question.
- 16:52If you have a vault that's that high tech,
- 16:55can you really just see the backs of the tumblers?
- 16:58Wouldn't that be something you would cover up inside the door or something?
- 17:03Yeah, man. Yeah, I don't know.
- 17:05That was weird.
- 17:06It was strange because like when I was watching it originally,
- 17:10I was like, yeah, they drilled in like to like the wall portion of it
- 17:14so they could see the tumblers inside.
- 17:16But they don't.
- 17:18Yeah, because they obviously showed the hole in the ceiling.
- 17:21Like, yeah, that would have been inches back from the door.
- 17:24That would have made a million times more sense
- 17:26if they had gotten into the door itself.
- 17:28I saw behind the scene.
- 17:30Yeah, I think you were intentionally supposed to go along for the ride with them.
- 17:35That they're just bumbling idiots.
- 17:36I think you fill that vault with water and you flood all the treasure up the hole.
- 17:41Ooh, the dollar bills like float through that.
- 17:44Yeah, definitely.
- 17:45Inch wide hole.
- 17:47Well, that's why you get like a plumbing snake and you just snake them all out.
- 17:51This is smart.
- 17:52Yeah. Then you back for our next podcast.
- 17:55Nick and Sean steal a podcast.
- 17:56The brilliant thing about this plan is the money is all pre laundered.
- 18:03Oh, God, no one's going to listen to that.
- 18:06So they have a witness.
- 18:08They need to take her out.
- 18:09This is when Elijah would start to get super cagey that and clearly
- 18:13this isn't just a drug dealer.
- 18:14These are people who will track them down and kill them.
- 18:18I understand his fear and reticence, but they are so far past the veil with that.
- 18:23Like there's a dead guy upstairs, a lot of guns in that apartment,
- 18:27like in a hidden wall, and they were in the safe.
- 18:29Even when Elijah would puts everything back into the safe,
- 18:32he thinks he's just like no one's going to know he was there.
- 18:34Yeah, like there's no way he put the diamonds back in the right spot.
- 18:38Yeah, any of that.
- 18:39There's a fucking hole in the ceiling.
- 18:41There's a hole in the ceiling.
- 18:42The leads to a bunch of dead folks.
- 18:44The chain that had the refrigerator closed is also like cut.
- 18:47Right. There's a dead guy upstairs.
- 18:50Yeah, there's all sorts of reasons.
- 18:52The upstairs is mildly blown up.
- 18:54Yeah. When you guys were in college, did you did you live in the dorms?
- 18:58Yeah. I think go to college all 30.
- 19:00All right. That would have been sad.
- 19:01Yeah, that would have been sad. Van Wilder said so.
- 19:03Van Wilder to the rise of Taj said patching up holes in a dorm
- 19:08is just like you put toothpaste in the hole and then kind of like smooch.
- 19:13And that's it.
- 19:14Yeah. So I think that's all they had to do is a little sweep,
- 19:18a little toothpaste smudge. Good.
- 19:20Well, that guy. Don't worry about it.
- 19:22So they'll just put the rug back over the hole and.
- 19:26It's perfect. Yeah.
- 19:27Tape tape a rug to the ceiling.
- 19:29That's that's clever, actually.
- 19:31Never see it, especially if you just screw a bunch of furniture to the ceiling,
- 19:35because then they'll like walk in and they'll be like, wow,
- 19:38and then like have a panic attack and probably a heart attack.
- 19:42And Elijah was trying to get the kids back out of this point.
- 19:45Nick Cage is like, you know, it's you know, fine.
- 19:47You know how much I believe in us.
- 19:48You know, I bought us plane tickets to the Bahamas.
- 19:51We're going to drink rum and smoke cigars tomorrow.
- 19:53And then they have a bit of a shootout.
- 19:55Nick Cage dies, which I thought was another freak out.
- 19:58I thought it was too, based on how he was laying there.
- 20:01Yeah. Just calmly with the gun and his hand resting on his chest.
- 20:06I mean, I would have just shot him one more time just to be safe
- 20:08because he does do a death fake out earlier just to spook Elijah Wood.
- 20:11Yeah. And then goes to check his body.
- 20:14And what does he find? Two plane tickets.
- 20:16Peter and I mildly discussed this.
- 20:18They kind of do this thing where Nick Cage may have known
- 20:21that safe was like diamonds originally.
- 20:24There's a lot of questions that this movie leaves you with.
- 20:27Does it serve the movie at all that those questions are there
- 20:30other than to just have them at odds?
- 20:32So Nick Cage dies.
- 20:33No, I don't think the movie is better for it.
- 20:37I think having some answers as to like who
- 20:40whose vault was this? You never know.
- 20:44Yeah. It's not even the drug dealer's vault.
- 20:46He wasn't personally driving stuff here.
- 20:48Yeah. It was just getting shipped through the casino
- 20:51in like a laundry service to the back of this bodega.
- 20:55Yeah. My puzzling aspect of this is that I just couldn't figure out
- 20:59when Cage really like knew more and withheld it.
- 21:03Like, did he always know that this was going on?
- 21:05Did he even need to do that?
- 21:07Like casino fake out job or did he already fucking know?
- 21:11And that was just performance for Elijah Wood.
- 21:13Like who wasn't there anyway?
- 21:14And he couldn't just said he was doing it.
- 21:15Yeah, I don't know.
- 21:16That's yeah.
- 21:17When I again, rewatching it today, I was like, what is any of this?
- 21:21So during the during the should have been ending in the beginning.
- 21:25Classic move. Yeah. For us. Yeah.
- 21:28Strike one. That's Tenet style.
- 21:32During the heist, Elijah Wood feels bad for their hostage.
- 21:35She's like, I have a son. Let me, you know, call his father.
- 21:38And his perfect way of her not calling anyone for help was write the number
- 21:42on my hand and I'll dial.
- 21:44And then doesn't say anything to people.
- 21:45Just puts the phone up to her ear and she just says, I need help.
- 21:49And then at the end of the film, Elijah was like driving her out to the desert.
- 21:53Some like cargo vans.
- 21:55Yeah. Out of nowhere, too, because they do seem like very large establishing shots.
- 22:00Yeah. And there's no other traffic anywhere.
- 22:02Yeah. And they kind of surround him like, but then two vans.
- 22:04They got two vans on one in the front, one in the back.
- 22:07And then another guy like boxed him in on the side.
- 22:09And Elijah would look at his hand, looks at the phone number on the back of the van.
- 22:12It's like, who did you call?
- 22:14Van door opens. Elijah would get shot in the head.
- 22:16Yeah. But OK.
- 22:17So the van is labeled M.D.B.
- 22:19electricians, which literally just looks like mob.
- 22:23It's like, oh, yeah.
- 22:24OK, I guess that's supposed to be the fucking mob.
- 22:27Elijah would slumps over car revs.
- 22:30She, you know, gets her hands free and takes the mask off,
- 22:34pushes him out of the way, jumps in the front.
- 22:35Revealing that she is actually Nicholas Cage.
- 22:39Yes, that would have been cool.
- 22:40That would have been cooler.
- 22:41She like just hits the brakes right before like careening into a semi truck.
- 22:45And that's the end of the movie.
- 22:46The character who didn't have a name and nobody cared about lived.
- 22:49Yeah. Well, I mean, she obviously was just agent number two or whatever
- 22:54from whoever the fuck owns that vault.
- 22:56But we don't know who owns that vault.
- 22:57So why do we care?
- 22:58If we don't care now, we're not going to care later.
- 23:02This whole thing felt to me like it deserved to be like a 12 part TV show.
- 23:07Yeah, this would be a great like Amazon series.
- 23:10Mm hmm. Their report is good.
- 23:13Yeah. And I could see how that could really play out on TV.
- 23:16But obviously, Cage doesn't do TV.
- 23:18It's the the grind of working on an episodic series.
- 23:22That's something that can be dragged out or like prolonged,
- 23:25like numerous seasons, he doesn't like to be chained down.
- 23:29That's right. He doesn't like to be caged.
- 23:32Oh, God damn it.
- 23:36This is our best episode yet.
- 23:38I hate you guys less than I thought I would.
- 23:40Hmm. Nick, do you have any quotes?
- 23:43Yeah. So I've got two and they are kind of tied together.
- 23:49The first one comes from when Nick Cage is like barging
- 23:54into the casino to go talk to the drug dealer.
- 23:57And Elijah Wood like stops him.
- 24:00He's like, hey, man, you're dressed like a cop.
- 24:01You can't do that. And Nick Cage is like, I am a cop.
- 24:04And he's like, yeah, but you can't just do that right now.
- 24:06And so Nick Cage just at one point turns and he's like, David, David,
- 24:12stay positive, dude.
- 24:15Oh, that's great.
- 24:17But then at the end of the movie, when he's like getting Elijah Wood
- 24:22kind of hyped up and stuff for the heist, he says to him,
- 24:27you're a positive thinker.
- 24:28I respect you and I dig you.
- 24:32It's like, ah, he brings the positive thinking like all the way through the movie.
- 24:35Yeah. Well, no, that line was from or he might have said it twice,
- 24:39because mine was when they are walking through the taped out apartment
- 24:44and Nicholas Cage. Oh, yes, that's what it was.
- 24:45You're a positive thinker and I respect you.
- 24:48And I fucking dig you.
- 24:50Yeah, I really like in that scene.
- 24:53There's one like wiggly line and the cage is like, what?
- 24:57What's that over there?
- 24:58And Elijah Wood goes, Oh, that's nothing.
- 25:00A bee flew in my face when I was doing that part.
- 25:04I mean, this movie is so ridiculous.
- 25:07I don't remember where this quote actually came in,
- 25:10because I didn't do a good job of my job.
- 25:13And all I have is I have an idea.
- 25:16It's kind of wacky.
- 25:19That's when he makes a little like gunpowder.
- 25:22Oh, yeah, that's right.
- 25:24But yeah, when he just says it's a little bit wacky.
- 25:28All in all, I enjoyed this film.
- 25:30I did look up some reviews on Rotten Tomatoes to see what other people thought.
- 25:34They enjoyed it a little less.
- 25:36I want to share with you a couple of my favorites.
- 25:38There are fetuses that would be more convincing in the role
- 25:41of a jaded lawman than would.
- 25:43You can festoon him with hookers and drug paraphernalia.
- 25:46He still looks like a newly hatched baby bird.
- 25:50Wood, a very long way removed from his Lord of the Rings glory days
- 25:54is a womanizing, drug taking small timer,
- 25:57essentially decent, but easily led astray by his friend.
- 26:01They're on the road to nowhere.
- 26:02And that's where this film is headed to.
- 26:05Mean. Yeah.
- 26:07Where do you guys put this on the Good Cage?
- 26:09Good movie. Bad Cage.
- 26:11I would say Good Cage. Good movie.
- 26:12Yeah, I think that's fair.
- 26:14I enjoyed the movie a lot.
- 26:15Yeah. I don't think anybody put up a bad performance.
- 26:19Now in the plot, while kind of wiggly at the end,
- 26:24holds up pretty well.
- 26:26Again, the director for, you know, good, great eye for detail.
- 26:29So in the bracket methodology of this, the trust was a 14 seed.
- 26:34So I want to ask you this kind of a long shot.
- 26:36There's a reason that this is not rated super, super well.
- 26:40I think I liked it better than a 14 seed.
- 26:42But what were some of the other 14s we've seen?
- 26:45And Cock Dangerous, the trust and coming up Zandily and Prisoners of the Ghostland.
- 26:50Now, I'm really excited for Zandily or Zandali because Zendaya.
- 26:57I'm not going to touch that right now,
- 26:58because I'm going to talk about the medium sex scenes that are promised.
- 27:03Yeah, I feel like we get some Judge Reinhold ass.
- 27:06Yeah. So I think that's going to be sweet. Yeah.
- 27:12So the unbearable weight of massive talent.
- 27:14Mm hmm. That was a movie.
- 27:16Starting a line right out of Sean's book.
- 27:18I was a movie starring Nicholas Cage and you need a much longer pause
- 27:23if you're being Sean.
- 27:27Nicholas Cage plays Nick Kim Coppola.
- 27:30Right. Or Nick and I.
- 27:31C.K. and I.C.K. specifically specifically, which was the writers.
- 27:35Things like, well, this is a fictional cage because he spells his name differently.
- 27:40And this which is the best way to distinguish something
- 27:42that you don't spell at all in the movie. Yeah.
- 27:46This movie is essentially what would happen if we had a million dollars to blow.
- 27:50The whole thing about Nicholas Cage showing up for a million dollars
- 27:52might be true because in recent years, he's taken as low as one point five mil
- 27:56for a video on demand film.
- 27:58So, you know, his price is coming down.
- 28:00What was the video on demand?
- 28:01I mean, most of the things he's video on demand, I suppose, left behind
- 28:05probably should have been.
- 28:06No, that got theatrical release.
- 28:08I know. But that's because of the Lord.
- 28:10But I'm humanity. Oh, oh.
- 28:13Again, in this house, we worship Thor.
- 28:15Hail, mighty Thor. Not at your house, though.
- 28:18Do you just choose what deities we can worship on our own homes?
- 28:23Yes. My house.
- 28:24All right. Who do we worship in your house?
- 28:26Probably Thor. Yeah. Right.
- 28:28Come gutters. That's God you want.
- 28:31Yeah, I always.
- 28:32That's why I love Catholic Jesus.
- 28:35That's a that's a horny deity.
- 28:36Fucking crucifixion, man, is a hell of a core workout.
- 28:39Also, best friend sex worker.
- 28:41True classic Jesus. Pretty fucking cool, dude.
- 28:44All right. We need to get a million.
- 28:45We need to get one point five million dollars.
- 28:46Do the story of Jesus starting Nicholas Cage.
- 28:48Oh, man. Redo the passion of the Christ.
- 28:51Passion of the cage. Yeah.
- 28:53So this movie Nicholas Cage,
- 28:57bit of a slump in his career, gets offered a million dollars
- 29:01to go visit some rich guy for his birthday party played by Pedro Pascal.
- 29:05The guy is Cage's agent is Neil Patrick Harris.
- 29:09Neil Patrick Harris in things is weird.
- 29:11He spent so much of his career playing
- 29:14Neil Patrick Harris as a character that I no longer see him in any role as an actor.
- 29:21Yeah, it's kind of like when you hear a word so many times
- 29:25and it just loses its meaning or like, oh, man, have you ever written a word?
- 29:29Worker. No, but written a word or typed it out a bunch of times.
- 29:33Yeah. Just ceases to be anything.
- 29:35Well, for me, it's like if I do something in all caps,
- 29:38if I look at a word in all caps, like it's like that can't possibly be the right word.
- 29:44I remember way fucking back when I was in grade school
- 29:48and we were learning basic programming and there's a function
- 29:52that's just print and it will print a string onto the screen.
- 29:56Look at you, Mr. Basic Programming in grade school.
- 29:59Yeah. Well, I was pretty fancy looking at the word
- 30:02print again and again and again.
- 30:05It just it becomes like this cipher when you're like, what the fuck are these letters?
- 30:11What is this thing?
- 30:13My grade school was a wooden school
- 30:17house across the street from a Holly farm that also had Guinea hens.
- 30:22And sometimes the Guinea hens would get into the field at our school.
- 30:25We had a bell tower and it was, of course, physically rung to end recess.
- 30:31So like you could go in and like go ring the bell if you left recess early.
- 30:36Was it like a privilege to go ring the bell?
- 30:38Yeah. Yeah. Because usually only like one kid got to do it.
- 30:41So like I would I would get in trouble because I would stack
- 30:44like a bunch of desks and chairs and stuff in this back room.
- 30:48And I'd climb up it and I'd get as high up on the rope as I could.
- 30:51So that way they'd have trouble getting me off of it.
- 30:54You do have a quasi moto vibe to you.
- 30:56And I'm here for it.
- 30:58Yeah. And I would just like hang from this rope and like swing
- 31:01and they'd come in because there's just like they'd be like,
- 31:05the bells are too loud.
- 31:06You're annoying the neighbors.
- 31:08There are no neighbors.
- 31:09We're in the fucking woods.
- 31:11This is weird.
- 31:12Your guys's life experience.
- 31:13I do not get because I went to school in the big city
- 31:17and we had one ball and you tried not to get stabbed at recess.
- 31:22One time I rolled a snowball that was bigger than me
- 31:25and we had two fields at my school.
- 31:27So we were up on the top field
- 31:29and we were going to roll it down into the lower field.
- 31:33And I was like, sweet.
- 31:35So we get it rolling.
- 31:36I'm like, you know, it'd be so cool.
- 31:37People lose their fucking minds if I rode this thing down.
- 31:41So I jumped on it as it was going downhill and it just fucking threw me
- 31:45and just needed me into a swing set.
- 31:49And I just laid there like that was fucking cool.
- 31:52Oh, I want to sort of go further where like the swing
- 31:55set launched you onto the slide, which launched you onto like the merry go
- 31:59around. No back onto the snowball.
- 32:00I'm like, baby, day out type shit. Yeah.
- 32:03It just embeds me halfway into the snowball and then I'm
- 32:06it's just my legs and the snowball is like walking around like all confused
- 32:11until I walk into a wall and it splits and I'm there
- 32:13and there's little birds floating around my head.
- 32:15I'm not a fucking cartoon.
- 32:17I'm a real person with real experiences.
- 32:19Sean, just respect my life.
- 32:22I think we're going to end on that.
- 32:24That's it. We got it, guys. Good job.
- 32:27Yeah, that's the end of the podcast.
- 32:28We have just totally broken.
- 32:30So tune in.
- 32:32This is how Nick and I shopping friends tune into Nick and Sean
- 32:35steal a podcast.
- 32:38Yeah, we're still going to do podcast, just not this one anymore.
- 32:42Apparently, Baby's Day out was a reference too far for me.
- 32:46You know, I feel about children and I beams.
- 32:50No, the best of talent.
- 32:53Did you guys like this movie?
- 32:55I found myself laughing out loud the entire time.
- 33:01Nicholas Cage has an imaginary version of himself
- 33:05that like talks to him and hypes him up and keeps him on track.
- 33:08And it's just like the old Nicholas Cage interview
- 33:12where he like goes on and he's like, hella coked out,
- 33:15like he takes his shirt off and like has to reposition his mic
- 33:19on his leather jacket.
- 33:20And he's doing like karate kicks and stuff.
- 33:23That young Nicholas Cage is now his internal hype man.
- 33:27It's his ego.
- 33:28But he like gets into an argument with it.
- 33:30Yeah. Or with him on the road and like stops his car
- 33:34and tells his imaginary friend to get out of his car.
- 33:39It's insane how funny this movie is.
- 33:41Now, this movie is hilarious.
- 33:42In my opinion, let down by the third act referencing that adding a dumb
- 33:47action movie to the end of your film isn't a good film.
- 33:49And then doing it doesn't save from not being a good action film.
- 33:53I think I think the action sequence would have been better served
- 33:55if Nick Cage didn't just immediately become an action star
- 33:58because he does straight up murder some people and doesn't blink an eye.
- 34:01My favorite part is like Pedro Pascal and Nick Cage running through the woods.
- 34:05They look like old dudes.
- 34:07Yeah, they're like, oh, they are.
- 34:09Shagging down the hill.
- 34:11And like you play that up like fuck the action hero aspect of this.
- 34:15And that's what's kind of my thing with it is, yeah,
- 34:17it just gets to generic action movie within this genre of actors
- 34:22playing themselves in absurd situations.
- 34:24There's a great little film called My Name is Bruce about Bruce Campbell
- 34:28playing Bruce Campbell down on his luck and is offered a bit of money
- 34:31to make a public appearance, but gets there.
- 34:33And it turns out the town is like haunted by a demon.
- 34:37And they're like, you're Bruce Campbell.
- 34:39Deal with this. And he's like, fuck you.
- 34:41And is a bumbling buffoon the whole way, but still bumbles his way to success
- 34:44and just doesn't become Ash at the end.
- 34:47And yeah, Nick Cage just becomes Action Cage at the end of this with no bumbling.
- 34:52More bumbling was, I feel, required.
- 34:54I feel like we had the bumbling.
- 34:56And I think this movie needed the action elements
- 35:00because it just rounded out like everything from his career.
- 35:04Like all of it was present in the movie.
- 35:07If you didn't have that bit of it.
- 35:09But then so the end of the film, they do the like
- 35:12fake out into the premiere of the film based on these events.
- 35:18It could have been great if by just dumb luck and just him being an actor,
- 35:22but not being a good action guy that, you know, they do get there.
- 35:25And then it cuts into this absurd moment where he does kill the drug kingpin.
- 35:30And then it pulls back like, oh, that was the movie.
- 35:32But anyway, so Nick in this cage goes,
- 35:35goes to Majorca to meet his biggest fan.
- 35:37Oh, man, because we did not recap this jump in straight to the end of the movie.
- 35:41Giving it all away.
- 35:43Yeah, but this is the second half, so we're not doing it in the first five minutes.
- 35:45That's true. We've done a much better job.
- 35:49So Pedro Pascal plays hobby, a huge Nick Cage fan who has written
- 35:54a script and wants Nicholas Cage to star in it.
- 35:57But Nick Cage loses out on the role of a lifetime.
- 36:00I'm using air quotes there and decides he's done acting.
- 36:03He was going to be a Boston cop, though,
- 36:05and we know he could have fucking nailed that.
- 36:08Yeah. OK.
- 36:09So I want to know if like in the greater
- 36:12audience ship of Nicholas Cage, like, is it just a thing
- 36:16that he only does like a Boston accent?
- 36:19Probably. Well, because when he just says that he's been working
- 36:24on the Boston accent and he thinks he's really got it,
- 36:27it just felt like that was targeted at me.
- 36:29And how many times I've talked about his Boston accent.
- 36:32Maybe for sure.
- 36:33It did feel like we tapped into something on that.
- 36:36To that, I do want to say I hadn't seen this movie until now.
- 36:40Right. Same. And we got a lot of shit for this.
- 36:42Like, how can you call yourself Nick Cage hands without seeing this film?
- 36:44Like, we're going to fucking watch them all. We get to it.
- 36:47Yeah. And I feel like I appreciate this movie more having watched
- 36:50a bunch of Nick Cage films, like when they do the Leaving Las Vegas moment,
- 36:53when Nick Cage is at his lowest and he just takes his beer
- 36:56and just walks right into the pool, straight out of leaving Las Vegas.
- 36:59Fun story with the director, like directing him through that scene.
- 37:02Nick Cage goes, Yeah, I've done this before.
- 37:08But so it turns out when Nick Cage gets to Mallorca,
- 37:12we're giving we're making Peter do so much work.
- 37:15No, he's given up.
- 37:18He's like, you guys don't even listen to your own podcast.
- 37:21Why the fuck will I? I'm just doing a no cut.
- 37:24Oh, great.
- 37:25When Nick Cage gets to Mallorca, kind of like my wiener,
- 37:28it turns out that the CIA cut that out.
- 37:30No, everyone's going to know you're uncut or am I?
- 37:35Yeah, we need mystery.
- 37:37But I've seen it. Yeah, I'm not going to say, but I've seen it.
- 37:41It's how I know Nick's not a cartoon.
- 37:42Sean doesn't kiss and tell.
- 37:46So when Nicholas Cage gets to Mallorca,
- 37:50turns out the CIA is watching Javi
- 37:53because he's a international arms dealer.
- 37:56Cartel man, cartel man, and they cartelman cartman.
- 38:02Oh, man. Peter's going to Peter's going to yell at us so bad.
- 38:04You guys are in trouble.
- 38:06Oh, and so they they get Nicholas Cage
- 38:10to help them try and track down the daughter of a president
- 38:16or someone running for the election.
- 38:18Yeah. Who they kidnapped at the end of the film.
- 38:20He doesn't think it's Javi because of his, you know, years of acting.
- 38:24He can read people, his shamanic thespian skills.
- 38:29I loved that.
- 38:32Oh, guys, it turns out that Nicholas Cage's thematic thespian skills,
- 38:36you know, no more than the whole of the CIA.
- 38:38Yeah. But they get him to spy on Javi.
- 38:40And I mean, this is where the bumbling really happens.
- 38:43He has to break into the camera room to bug all the cameras.
- 38:47And when someone's coming up on him,
- 38:49he gets the slip of like the knockout agent on his hand.
- 38:53And then as he's leaving the door to find a place to hide,
- 38:54he wipes the sweat from his brow.
- 38:56That scene was so good. It was so good.
- 38:59I think I touched my forehead.
- 39:01You think you did? No, I'm.
- 39:03Oh, I did. Yeah, I did.
- 39:06OK, now go out the window and walk along a thin ledge.
- 39:10OK, so I mean, this is all for comedy and chuckles and it does work.
- 39:15But he does this that knockout agents not very strong
- 39:19because he goes for a solid two minutes.
- 39:21He definitely would have died even if he tried to knock the guy out.
- 39:25Do you have no joy in your life, Sean?
- 39:27I don't.
- 39:28My ex wife was on the podcast last week.
- 39:31Peter was a decision I made.
- 39:35You did this to you.
- 39:37I've said that I have lost the ability to feel joy.
- 39:40And now I'm just trying to suffer for my sins like a good Catholic.
- 39:45He does the spy.
- 39:46He does some spy work.
- 39:47Then they need to have him stay longer because they need to have tracked down
- 39:50where the girl is at his birthday.
- 39:53Says, you know, he read the script.
- 39:54It's great.
- 39:55Doesn't want to start it, but wants to stick around and write a film with Javi.
- 39:59And that's when we get the best part of this film, which is just two friends
- 40:03on acid. Yeah.
- 40:05I mean, I think the the spycraft stuff is is fine.
- 40:09I mean, it's a means to an end.
- 40:11But like this movie is not at all served by that subplot.
- 40:14No, I mean, I think the most important part
- 40:16in what's really interesting is the the bromance between these two dudes. And like.
- 40:22Well, it's a character driven movie.
- 40:24It is. Yeah.
- 40:25I've never been particularly like drawn to Pedro Pascal.
- 40:29I think he's a great actor.
- 40:30No, but he's never like done it for me in like, oh, that guy.
- 40:35And this is the first movie that I was like, oh, I get what people are talking about.
- 40:39Like that guy is he's charismatic. He's cute.
- 40:42Like it works. It fucking works.
- 40:44As a fellow Chilean, I love the man.
- 40:47I don't know. Did you want to fuck Pedro Pascal?
- 40:49Always, especially in the Mandalorian outfit.
- 40:52I mean, no, but.
- 40:56I mean, if I'm going to be honest,
- 40:58and that's what this podcast really about fucking fine Cleveland steamer.
- 41:02Sure. But but let's talk about the acid scene because it's the best.
- 41:05Talk about the acid scene. Oh, my God.
- 41:09But like, yeah. So Pedro Pascal is like, you know, they need to get
- 41:13into this raw emotional state like he has the answer
- 41:16and just holds up a violin.
- 41:18Nick Cage is like trying to do a snoop into the secret room to see if the girls there.
- 41:22It's like, what's that? It's acid.
- 41:24What the hell? And just let's have a just squirt him in the mouth.
- 41:28Next thing they're on the road, just staring at each other
- 41:31while driving along a cliff edge.
- 41:34Well, then later hobbies like I can't drive on acid.
- 41:37Bro, you fucking did.
- 41:39I don't know how you got us here.
- 41:40Yeah, but I mean, like, OK.
- 41:43Coming up on acid and being like solidly on acid,
- 41:46especially when you think that's fair, because what got them to the point
- 41:49where they're like running through town and trying to get like away
- 41:54is they're talking about the film.
- 41:57Javi has this great line or it's like, you know, this might be the acid talking,
- 42:00but we could do a big scene where the main characters are on acid or on drugs.
- 42:05So they're talking about like storytelling in a cage like, well, like,
- 42:08what if we had a real paranoid scene where like the the main character
- 42:12being followed, like, look at those two.
- 42:14They might be following us.
- 42:15And Javi just goes, oh, shit, are they following us?
- 42:17The kids. I don't know. Are they?
- 42:19They like get themselves into the spiral like this paranoia spiral.
- 42:23And then they run and have my favorite scene, which is
- 42:26them trying to like jump over the wall, jumping over the wall.
- 42:29It was a table. Nicholas Cage.
- 42:32Nick Cage can't lift him over the wall.
- 42:34It has to leave hobby behind.
- 42:35There's that slow motion. No.
- 42:37When the cage drops down and just walks around, I was like, Mr. Cage.
- 42:41No, there was a great line in
- 42:45he's like trying to pick him up and he drops him.
- 42:47And Nick Cage is like, you're heavier than you look.
- 42:50I was like, I have a very big head.
- 42:53Cage is just enormous and enormous head.
- 42:58Just like he's complimenting your head so big, it's enormous.
- 43:01It's terrific. It's wonderful.
- 43:03And then they get to the other side of the wall.
- 43:04They have a laugh and they look over.
- 43:06And there are two other guys who look similar to the first two.
- 43:10Yeah, it's a bald guy and another long haired ginger guy.
- 43:13That's all they think of.
- 43:15Oh, shit, they run.
- 43:16But if you're on acid, that's that's more than enough.
- 43:19Plenty. Yeah.
- 43:21I would be freaked out if I was on an island with two long haired gingers.
- 43:24Right. Can I say that word?
- 43:26I can't say prostitute.
- 43:28I'm pretty sure you can say ginger. OK.
- 43:30I don't think that's a big I don't think that's a big hurtful one.
- 43:33Oh, we're going to get so much hate.
- 43:35Especially from the ginger sex workers.
- 43:37When they're running back to the car, Javi gets hit by a car.
- 43:41It's really Pedro Pascal did that.
- 43:43Did that sound himself?
- 43:44Pedro Scout wrecked or ruined 12 cars to get that shot.
- 43:49He's got a big head. Yeah, enormous.
- 43:51But yeah, they get back to the car.
- 43:53It's like, I can't drive an acid.
- 43:54I can't think you are better driving me.
- 43:56How do you know that?
- 43:57I read you did all your own driving for gone in 60 seconds.
- 44:01Those wheelies were pretty good.
- 44:03The best wheelies.
- 44:05And then they like, yeah, they drive off and cage like drives up on the sidewalk.
- 44:08He takes out like a shit ton of bicycles that are all just sitting there.
- 44:13And when they get back to the compound, still on acid, Javi's like passed on the car.
- 44:17Nick tries to go like into that room and Javi like.
- 44:22Do you want to see what's in there?
- 44:23Yeah, obviously, like obviously wakes up and like comes up and finds him.
- 44:26And then it's just his collection of Nick Cage memorabilia.
- 44:29Then that's when we see are introduced to the
- 44:32Castor Troye statue of Nicholas Cage with the Golden Guns, which, like,
- 44:36you know, those real guns, right?
- 44:38But it's this horrible mannequin of Nicholas Cage with like a mo haircut.
- 44:43It's like, can I ask how much you paid for this?
- 44:46About six thousand dollars.
- 44:48It's grotesque.
- 44:50Yeah.
- 44:51Grotesque.
- 44:52If somebody presented me with like just a similar but not quite right statue of me.
- 44:59Oh, my God. I'm like, oh, my God.
- 45:01I would want it so bad.
- 45:04I feel like Josie can make that happen.
- 45:07Yeah.
- 45:08I would even be happy with just a cardboard cut out of myself.
- 45:13How cool is to be grotesque?
- 45:15Yeah. I once tried to draw you on a beer can.
- 45:18Yeah. People I was doing this for also knew you and they were just like, no,
- 45:21it's too bro. Which I understand.
- 45:24I'm a very muscular and, you know, tone.
- 45:28Tone. Yeah. Handsome person.
- 45:30Yeah. I've got like nine.
- 45:32Come gutters. Yeah.
- 45:33Where I don't think you know what come gutters are.
- 45:36I'm pretty sure I introduced you to this. Probably.
- 45:41Hobbies cousin turns out to be the real mobster hobbies, just a figurehead
- 45:45and finds out that Nicholas Cage is working for the CIA
- 45:48and wants hobby to kill the cage.
- 45:50The cage has to take out hobby because
- 45:53hobby thinks that the cage is having this like creative block
- 45:56because he and his daughter aren't getting along.
- 45:58So hobby brings his daughter and ex wife to the island.
- 46:03And so they go to have like a shootout
- 46:07or go kill each other on the cliff where they first became friends
- 46:10beforehand, trading shoes.
- 46:13Yeah, I liked that. I love that. I did, too.
- 46:15They're just like complementing each other's shoes.
- 46:17And they're like, do you want to trade like.
- 46:20Forever. Yeah.
- 46:22And then when they're running away from the people actually trying to kill them,
- 46:25they're just bitching about each other's shoes
- 46:28because there's no ankle support in the moccasins. Yeah. No shit.
- 46:33So and then that's when the third act action film starts,
- 46:36which does have a pretty good bit where the bad guy kidnaps Nick Cage's daughter.
- 46:40So his ex wife is a makeup artist, makes him look like another gangster.
- 46:45Yeah, like a Spanish guy who hasn't been seen for 15 years.
- 46:50And just that's when we get like the worst Nick Cage acting in the film.
- 46:53Oh, it's so good.
- 46:55It's like he's actually trying to like make a character then.
- 47:00And it's just maybe does such a great job of like having great actors act poorly.
- 47:05They saved the president's daughter.
- 47:06They save their own daughter.
- 47:08There's a bit of a shootout.
- 47:09Nick Cage repeats the Boston line from the beginning of the film.
- 47:13There's a chase.
- 47:15They get to the U.S. Embassy.
- 47:16And at the end of it, Nick Cage's daughter throws him a knife
- 47:19that got dropped in the back of the truck earlier.
- 47:21He catches it midair, stabs dude in the chest.
- 47:23Then it goes full Michael Bay camera around.
- 47:26There's an American flag.
- 47:28The military shows up and you turn back to his family and it's Demi Moore as the mom.
- 47:34Incredible. It cuts out to this is a screening of a Nick Cage movie
- 47:39written by Javi about the events of the film.
- 47:42Yeah, it's perfect.
- 47:43It gives you what they set out to do.
- 47:45Highlights, obviously, Nicky.
- 47:47Man, this movie, just every character, I think,
- 47:51got some kind of like big, nice laugh out of me.
- 47:55Everybody had really good comedy.
- 47:57It was pretty well as the CIA agent is awesome.
- 48:00Fun cage versa connection to that.
- 48:02Guess who she was recommended by?
- 48:05Just tell me Nick Cage, Nick Cage recommender on the advice
- 48:10on the advice of our old friend.
- 48:11That's not a fun fact.
- 48:13Let me finish the god damn sense.
- 48:15So there's a Schrader connection.
- 48:17All right. Schrader did one thing right.
- 48:19You're the Schrader.
- 48:20Nicholas Cage turned down this role like three or four times
- 48:23because he thought it was too weird.
- 48:24And when he finally agreed to it, wanted to play the Javi role.
- 48:27He wanted to be he thought it would be more meta for him to play his biggest fan.
- 48:32It is more meta, but that and only fucking terrible.
- 48:36Only only was cool playing himself after he met Pedro Pascal.
- 48:39I thought Pedro Pascal was like this crazy method actor
- 48:42who was just method acting all of this like love for Nick Cage.
- 48:45And then later on, find out that Pedro Pascal has always been a huge fan.
- 48:49Huge Nick Cage fan. Nick, do you have a quote?
- 48:52I have many quotes. I have a favorite scene.
- 48:54So this is Nick and Nicky talking.
- 48:58And Nick is telling Nicky about how he's going to do this movie.
- 49:04And Nick, he's trying to talk him out of it because he's not a small time actor.
- 49:09He's a movie star.
- 49:10Nick says he thinks it would be good for them to do it.
- 49:12And Nicky comes in with like the gay uncle
- 49:15in the next Diplos Brothers movie kind of thing.
- 49:18Exactly. Then Nicky slaps him.
- 49:21He's like, the fuck are you talking about?
- 49:23We haven't worked since we were 15, 41 years
- 49:27to be number seven on the call sheet of a goddamn student film.
- 49:31I think it's a good idea.
- 49:33You listen to me. You're Nick fucking.
- 49:42And woo.
- 49:43Ow. Cage.
- 49:46Addy doesn't need a struggling artist to be her father.
- 49:50She needs you to be a star.
- 49:52Now you get the next one, baby.
- 49:54And we're back. Nick Cage, breathily.
- 49:57Not that we ever went anywhere.
- 49:59Not that we went anywhere. Come here.
- 50:03And then he just throws his toothpick, grabs Nick Cage
- 50:06and like passionately kisses him right on the mouth.
- 50:09So he has when Nicky pulls away.
- 50:12Yeah. Nick Cage smooches good.
- 50:14You tell him Nick Cage smooches good.
- 50:17Yeah, it's a brilliant scene.
- 50:19It's great. And it's just Nick Cage and Nick Cage.
- 50:23My other favorite line was after Nick Cage watches
- 50:25Harvey's third favorite film, Paddington 2 teary eyed sniffling.
- 50:31Paddington 2 is incredible.
- 50:32Have you guys seen Paddington 2?
- 50:34No, I have not seen Paddington 1.
- 50:36I've heard both of them are actually pretty fucking good.
- 50:39Yeah.
- 50:39Trevor Moore always spoke really highly of them.
- 50:42I kind of feel like I should watch them.
- 50:45Let's just do a podcast about Paddington. OK.
- 50:48That's how easy it is to get the three of us to do anything.
- 50:51I liked when Nick Cage was he like brings his daughter home.
- 50:54This is in the beginning of the movie.
- 50:56And he and Addy had just been at like family therapy or whatever.
- 51:00And the mom is just like, oh, what's wrong with her?
- 51:04As the kid storms off.
- 51:06Nick just says, she's mad at me
- 51:09because we watched Cabinet of Dr. Caligari together and she hated it,
- 51:14which I find odd given how mature her taste normally is.
- 51:18You're surprised your teenage daughter didn't want to watch
- 51:21an insane hundred year old German film with you. Yes.
- 51:26The director and writer just decided to write this thing.
- 51:29Never met Nick Cage.
- 51:30There's like, let's write a movie about Nick Cage.
- 51:33We have no connection to him.
- 51:35Maybe we'll get to make it one day.
- 51:37Was it us?
- 51:39Yeah, it sounds like we really went around this the wrong way.
- 51:43Also, Nick Cage swore he would never watch this movie because it was too weird.
- 51:47Even at the premiere was there, but wasn't in the theater.
- 51:50So Venn diagram.
- 51:52Good, good, good, good, good movie.
- 51:55Now the real question.
- 51:57The debate.
- 51:58This is one of the few times where I'm kind of on the fence.
- 52:03I think I would enjoy the trust more on rewatches.
- 52:07I'm glad I watched the underweight of NASA talent.
- 52:09It is funny.
- 52:10I just I the back half just kind of kills me.
- 52:13I would probably argue for unbearable weight in the same way.
- 52:18The last third of the trust just wasn't quite there.
- 52:23Plus, it leaves too many things.
- 52:25It's not as finished of a movie, but I think unbearable weight is just
- 52:30it's a more enjoyable movie.
- 52:32Pound for pound, it's a more cage movie
- 52:34as it is 100 percent about how it's going to be.
- 52:38My next point is out of the both of them.
- 52:41I mean, Cage gives an amazing performance in both and he gives a very cagey
- 52:45performance in both. He does.
- 52:47I'll be happy to watch either of these movies again in my life,
- 52:50and I will continue to watch them.
- 52:52I would rather see unbearable weight go forward.
- 52:56I think it's just I think it's a better comedy.
- 52:59It's better for the category.
- 53:00It's a stronger script.
- 53:02It's better performances.
- 53:05It's Elijah Woods. Great.
- 53:07But there's a much larger cast that all contributes
- 53:12really good performances in unbearable weight.
- 53:15It's absurd. It's truly an absurd movie.
- 53:18I'm just going to use our movie podcast all of a sudden.
- 53:22In Germany, we are.
- 53:23Yeah, that's right. Thanks, Germans. Yeah.
- 53:26So cool. So cool.
- 53:28No, I I think you are right.
- 53:30And like I said, I was on the fence for either of these going forward,
- 53:33because I do enjoy them both in different ways.
- 53:36The Trust is an interesting movie.
- 53:38He has an interesting character.
- 53:41It's just not well developed.
- 53:43That's fair.
- 53:44Whereas I think the unbearable weight is an interesting movie
- 53:47with two interesting characters and a whole CIA subplot
- 53:50that could have been written around real easy.
- 53:54Yeah, but it adds wackiness.
- 53:55I think you could take all of that out of there and Javi could just be
- 53:59this, you know, maniac obsessive and trying to figure out like,
- 54:03does this guy want to like take my skin and wear it?
- 54:06So, Harvey, does he want me to like blow him or like,
- 54:10does he want to watch me fuck his wife or have me watch him?
- 54:12Fuck, I am Harvey. Nailed it.
- 54:15I just did the bow.
- 54:18Thanks. Thank you.
- 54:19I'm taking I'm taking the Nick roll of this podcast.
- 54:23Confirming. Yeah.
- 54:24Unbearable weight.
- 54:25Bearable weight. Massive talent.
- 54:26A great movie.
- 54:27Can't wait to see it move forward.
- 54:29What's coming up next week?
- 54:30We kind of touched on this in the beginning, but Joe and Zanderly.
- 54:34Zanderly. Zandali.
- 54:35Whatever it's going to be. Zandaya?
- 54:37We're not sure. We're going to.
- 54:38So it's a movie about a guy who takes in a kid who's being abused
- 54:44and a movie where Nick Cage is a horny artist.
- 54:48It's going to be terrific. It's going to be a real romp.
- 54:50Well, thank you all for listening.
- 54:53If you are interested in interacting with us,
- 54:56you can find us on Reddit or Twitter or any of the other things.
- 54:59But Reddit is CageMatchPod.
- 55:01And if you happen to be interested in supporting us,
- 55:04we are on Patreon at CageMatch.
- 55:07So as always, thank you to our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean,
- 55:10Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam.
- 55:12And special thanks to our cage dancers, Ira and John.
- 55:16We're at episode 18. We've got.
- 55:2114 more episodes.
- 55:22Thanks for the math. In season one.
- 55:24Yeah. And then in season two, we don't know what we're doing.
- 55:28We'll figure it out. Send us send us your ideas.
- 55:30What you'll figure it out for us. Do our jobs for us.
- 55:33Now, we totally know what we're doing, but it's a secret.
- 55:35So don't even bother trying to figure it out.
- 55:37It's a really good idea to know.
- 55:39But send us your theories.
- 55:41Send us five dollars in your theory
- 55:44in a self-addressed stamped envelope to what's your address, Peter?
- 55:49Yeah. Put that on the Internet.
- 55:51Goodbye, everybody.
- 56:06Like, maybe I'll get real.
- 56:07Maybe I'll have like a giant sandwich one day
- 56:09and love the unbearable weight of massive talent.
- 56:13Anytime you say sandwich, you have to give me like a big gap
- 56:15just so it sounds funnier.
- 56:17All right. Maybe one day I'll have a giant sandwich.
- 56:20No, you didn't do it right.
- 56:22Oh, no. Gap in the beginning.
- 56:24And at the end, I was giving you one at the end.
- 56:27Yeah, you gave me a big one at the end.
- 56:29A big, big one in the end.
- 56:32Cut it out.
- 56:34Boy, that's going to that's an outtake.
- 56:39And then Eddie Murphy bus out of nowhere
- 56:40and sticks a banana in his tailpipe.
- 56:42Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
- 56:47Why? It can't be that bad.
- 56:49It can't be that good either.
- 56:51I like that we're going to eat them like Ryan and all.
- 56:54Like he doesn't take the peel off.
- 56:56I'm taking I'm just going to know you got to do it.
- 56:58I have a horrible gag reflex. I can't do it.
- 57:00Oh, my God. Now you really have to do it.
- 57:04I mean, it's Peter's floor. I'll throw up here. Yeah.
- 57:07You know, box right there.
- 57:10It's the puzzle box.
- 57:14Where where's where's the place I can throw up and he can find it later.
- 57:17Got the globe. How do you open the globe?