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MONEY DIARIES: Starting All Over Again...& Again! · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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  Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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  Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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  Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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  Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money. She's on
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  Speaker 2: the Money.
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  Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on Them, the podcast for
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to my favorite
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  Speaker 3: episode of the week, Money Diaries, where I get the
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  Speaker 3: chance to talk to one of out amazing She's on
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  Speaker 3: the Money community members all about their story and about
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  Speaker 3: their money journey, and it is my favorite part of
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  Speaker 3: every week. I kid you not. Let's jump straight into
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: it because this week I got a message and it
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: sounded a lot like this, because I'm going to read
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: it to you, hi V. I traveled a lot in
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: my twenties and moved overseas in twenty nineteen, sadly to
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: an emotionally abusive relationship right before COVID hit. Then I
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: lost my job. I took my souper out to get
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  Speaker 3: out of that situation and had to start again multiple
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  Speaker 3: times while overseas. I moved back to Australia in April
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  Speaker 3: twenty twenty two, and one year later, my partner and
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  Speaker 3: I have just bought a house. Money diarist, I'm so
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  Speaker 3: excited to have you here. Are you ready to do
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  Speaker 3: a money diary?
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  Speaker 2: Definitely? Yeah? Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 3: Well, let's jump straight into it. As always, I want
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  Speaker 3: to know upfront, what would you rate your money habits
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: if I asked you to rate your habits on a
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  Speaker 3: scale of A through to F.
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  Speaker 2: Probably a B. I think a B.
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  Speaker 3: I like that. Let's learn a little bit more. My
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  Speaker 3: favorite favorite question money dores. Can you tell me a
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  Speaker 3: little bit more about your money story?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? So, growing up we didn't really talk too much
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  Speaker 2: about money. When I got a job when I was fifteen,
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  Speaker 2: my mum made sure that we knew, you know, to save,
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  Speaker 2: but it wasn't like we didn't have like budgets or
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  Speaker 2: anything like that. It was just you have to save,
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  Speaker 2: you have to save, you have to save, and me,
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  Speaker 2: being a teenager, I kind of ignored that and I
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  Speaker 2: spent most of my money.
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  Speaker 3: Like any good teenager does. I don't know anything when
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  Speaker 3: you're a teenager, I.
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  Speaker 2: Know, shocking. Yeah, And I mean skip forward fifteen years
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  Speaker 2: and she's gone guarantee for us, which is amazing.
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  Speaker 3: So she trusts you now, Yeah, yes, she mum, what
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  Speaker 3: you worry about? Honestly? So tell me a little bit
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  Speaker 3: more about growing up. What was my Obviously you didn't listen,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: but what did that end up looking like?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? So, I mean, as far as sort of I
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  Speaker 2: was aware, we never really struggled. Like I knew that
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: when we sold our family home, like where mum sold
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: it after my parents got divorced. It was probably a
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: good seven to eight years after that. She sold the
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  Speaker 2: house because if she were to keep paying that mortgage,
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  Speaker 2: she wouldn't have a life. So she made the decision
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  Speaker 2: to sell the bigger house and build a new house
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  Speaker 2: not too far away. I like that.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like that's the type of compromise that sometimes
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  Speaker 3: a lot of people don't want to make because that
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: would have been a hard decision, right, Like that's something
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  Speaker 3: that a lot of pride would have ridden on that decision,
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  Speaker 3: but she's obviously made the right one for her. What
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  Speaker 3: does life look like now? Is she happier and healthier
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  Speaker 3: and thriving?
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  Speaker 2: Oh definitely, Yeah, she is thriving. And all my friends
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  Speaker 2: think she's the coolest.
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  Speaker 3: Oh we love that.
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  Speaker 2: Now that I'm twenty seven, I think she's the coolest too.
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  Speaker 3: So it just takes a little bit of can in
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  Speaker 3: the scene, right.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly, Yeah, asked me ten years ago. And that's not the.
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  Speaker 3: Case, absolutely not. Mums can't be cool when you're a
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  Speaker 3: seventeen year old, absolutely not.
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  Speaker 2: H Yeah, and now she's doing quite well and she's
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  Speaker 2: got not much mortgage left obviously in the position to
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  Speaker 2: go guaranteur from myself and my partner. Yeah, so yeah,
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  Speaker 2: she's doing well and she's thriving, and yeah, she lives
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  Speaker 2: on her own and she always says I'll never live
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  Speaker 2: with anyone else.
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  Speaker 3: I love that. I feel like that's a vibe, get it, mum?
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  Speaker 2: Yep? Exactly?
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  Speaker 3: All right. I need to know what do you do
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  Speaker 3: for work and how much money do you earn.
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  Speaker 2: I am a sales support assistant for a custom clothing
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  Speaker 2: company and I make sixty three K a year plus
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  Speaker 2: super and plus five K commission a year.
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  Speaker 3: What does that mean? What's a sales support assistant? Can
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: you tell me a little bit more about your day
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  Speaker 3: to day. I'm super interested. It's a lot of customer service.
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  Speaker 2: So we have our sales team who will get the
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  Speaker 2: sale and then set up an order, and we do
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  Speaker 2: a lot of custom clothes for year twelves and like
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  Speaker 2: groups like that, So.
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  Speaker 3: It's like a bulk, like a bigger order. Someone's not
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  Speaker 3: just buying one thing, They're buying multiple Yeah. Yes, okay,
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  Speaker 3: that makes more sense. I was like, what does our
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  Speaker 3: support officer do in this back in this world?
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  Speaker 2: Once the sales locked in and the order is open,
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  Speaker 2: then we provide that support to the customer, so then
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  Speaker 2: the sales team can continue getting more sales. Yeah cool.
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  Speaker 3: Do you enjoy it? How did you get into this
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  Speaker 3: line of work?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? So, I really, I really enjoy it. I was
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: just looking on seek one day and I applied for
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: some jobs. I was about to go back to the
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: UK for a month, and while I was sitting in
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: the airport on my way there, I got a phone
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  Speaker 2: call from the recruitment person. Yeah, I was like, oh,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I'm sitting in the airport at the moment, but I'm
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  Speaker 2: happy to do you know, virtual interviews. And she was like, yes,
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  Speaker 2: that's not a problem, Like we can do virtual interviews
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  Speaker 2: because so many of us are based from home. So
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  Speaker 2: the time that I was in the UK for a month,
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  Speaker 2: I was interviewing for this position.
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  Speaker 3: Oh how good.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then by the time I got back, I
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  Speaker 2: had a blind up for when I got back, which was.
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  Speaker 3: Great money win.
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  Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, absolutely, so.
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  Speaker 3: I want to know next, what's your big money goal.
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  Speaker 3: What are we currently working towards.
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  Speaker 2: Currently, we're working towards trying to take Mum off our
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  Speaker 2: mortgage as guarantee. Up until sort of sort of March April,
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  Speaker 2: we were aiming to buy a house and then we
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  Speaker 2: achieved that, which is great, and yeah, our next next
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  Speaker 2: big goal is to increase that equity in our house
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  Speaker 2: to then be able to get Mum off alone.
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  Speaker 3: I'm so pervy. I'm going to ask about all of
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: your house questions. Right after this, let's go to a
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: really quick break. Don't go anywhere all right, guys, we
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: are back and let's dive right back in. You have
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: just purchased your first home with your partner, and I
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  Speaker 3: am so pervy. I want to know how you've done that.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like I know because you mentioned that one
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  Speaker 3: of your big money goals was to get your mum
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  Speaker 3: off as a guaranteur. But can you talk me through
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  Speaker 3: a little bit more of that process and what that
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  Speaker 3: looks like and how it works, because I'm just so
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  Speaker 3: interested to know how somebody in your salary bracket who
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  Speaker 3: has just returned from overseas has managed to either save
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: a deposit or like swindle their way into a property.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like this is going to be a very
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  Speaker 3: exciting story to learn from.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so pretty much from when my partner and I met.
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  Speaker 2: Both of our goals was once I settled back down
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  Speaker 2: into Australia was to buy a house. So it just
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  Speaker 2: made sense to start saving for that straight away. I
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  Speaker 2: gave Kate a call from Zella.
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  Speaker 3: Great decision, honestly, one of your best.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I agree. Yeah, So I gave Kate a
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  Speaker 2: call and she was telling me about how we only
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: need a five percent deposit, and then she was sort
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  Speaker 2: of helping us work out roughly what we can borrow
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  Speaker 2: and what sort of deposit plus purchasing costs we would
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  Speaker 2: need for that, so we started saving like crazy, and
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  Speaker 2: we were living with his mum at the time, so
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  Speaker 2: paying rent, saving, we didn't have a lot leftover, but
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  Speaker 2: we still lived pretty comfortably for ourselves. We got to
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  Speaker 2: do the things that we wanted to do. We've been
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  Speaker 2: to a lot of events in the last year as well,
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  Speaker 2: like concerts and like a festival and stuff like that,
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  Speaker 2: which has been really nice. We've still sort of allowed
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  Speaker 2: ourselves to live a bit whilst being a little bit restrictive,
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  Speaker 2: just to try and save as much as we could.
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  Speaker 2: And then it turned out the mum was in a
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  Speaker 2: position to go guaranteur for us. I had that discussion
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  Speaker 2: with her back in March. Money win, yeah, absolutely, because
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  Speaker 2: then we were able to borrow one hundred percent of
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  Speaker 2: our purchase price, which meant all of our savings was
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  Speaker 2: able to go to furnishing the house, to renovating the
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: house because we bought a thirty year old house. So
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  Speaker 2: we painted, We've got the floors replaced. We still want
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: to get the kitchen and bathroom done, but it's a
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  Speaker 2: whole new house. Everyone who sees it now they're just like, wow,
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  Speaker 2: this is oh that.
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  Speaker 3: So much And I feel like, obviously we have to
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  Speaker 3: acknowledge that borrowing one hundred percent of the purchase price
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  Speaker 3: can be a little bit risky, and Kate would have
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  Speaker 3: taken you through that, but it can also be relative liberating.
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  Speaker 3: If you're like, no, I know, I'm going to be
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  Speaker 3: here for the long term and this is going to
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: work really well for me, it actually can free you
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: up a fair bit financially. Did you, when you, I
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: guess started the conversation with Kate, know where that was
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  Speaker 3: going or did you think that that was a big
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  Speaker 3: possibility for you in the near future, or did you
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: think it was going to take way longer or what
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: did that look like?
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I thought it was probably going to take a bit longer, obviously,
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  Speaker 2: because we planned on saving for a five percent deposit
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: when it turned out that we didn't need to necessarily,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: it took about probably a year or two less than
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: what I thought it would. But yeah, so talking through
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  Speaker 2: it with Kate, I just sort of had an idea
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: of what number we had to sort of get up to,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: and yeah, we had a plan to get up to
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: that number while also living our lives. So it was,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: you know, a rough idea of a year or two,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: but The end goal was obviously to get into a
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: house as soon as possible and one that also met
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: our needs. So because we were living with my partner's mum,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: we were quite comfortable, so we were happy to wait
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: for something that our needs. But we actually got very lucky,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: and it was the second house that we viewed, but
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: the first house that we viewed together. So the first
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: house I just went by myself because my partner works
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: at a place that's not home. I work at home,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: so I have a lot more flexibility. So yeah, but
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  Speaker 2: it was the first place that we saw together.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that. That's such a good
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: journey and such a good story. I'm going to ask
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: about it in a hot second. I want to know, now,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: do you have any investments. If so, what are they?
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: If not, do you want to invest?
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I have a Chasia's account, and I have a Rai's
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: account as well. I haven't really looked too far into them.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: It's been a very busy few months.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Understandably, so.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I do plan to sort of get more into those
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: and sort of start with the micro investing roundups with
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Rays and then maybe get sort of more in depth
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: with Chasis in their future as well.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: How fun? All right, we're back on the house content
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: because I just can't leave it alone. I want to
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: know about your debts. So do you have any debts?
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: If so, what are they?
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: So, the only debt we have is the mortgage, and
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: what is that sitting at. That's currently sitting at five
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: hundred and seventy thousand, which was the purchase prece we
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: settled about three weeks ago.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's so soon. How good have you
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: moved in? You've moved in and you're like living in
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: there and renovating it. What has been your favorite part?
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Probably walking in after it was painted and the floors
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: were done. That was great.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Crisp, right, crisp and fresh and feels like yours. Finally, absolutely,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: But we currently don't have doors. Oh you don't need doors? Yeah, exactly,
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: So we don't need doors at the moment. I don't
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: even have running water in my house that I'm meant
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: to be living in. Oh, so, like, we don't even
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: need that, and I'm still planning on moving in very soon.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: So it's fine. It's fine. You can just be in
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: love with a house. It's absolutely okay. Exactly have you
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: had your first mortgage payment not.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Yet, that comes out at the start of next month.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: Oh scary. What is that going to set you back?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Do you think?
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Each and every single month?
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: So at the moment it's sitting at three thousand, two
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: hundred and fifty month, but I believe after the increase
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: this month, that's going to go up again.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Yes, probably, And how do you feel about that? How
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: does that slot into your budget?
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: It slots in Okay, we did allow when we were
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: talking to Kate, we allowed, you know, for an extra
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: couple of increases. We were talking to Kate, and we
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: ended up going to sort of the max of our
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: budget because of the increasing house prices again, so they
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: started to sort of drop and then they started to
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: go up again. So we're still able to stick within
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: our budget and not have to postpone purchasing because we
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: did have to go to that maximum amount. But yeah,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: we also did budget for that. And obviously the house
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: comes first for us, you know, if things do get
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: a little bit too much, then we will need to
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: compromise in other spaces.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I like that you've already thought about that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's not that common to go through
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: that home buying process. And hear people say, oh, well,
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: actually we've factor it in for the next few rate
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: rises and should be okay, and these are our priorities
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: and this is what it's going to look like. Does
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: that make you feel a little bit more calm, Like
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: I feel like you're a relatively calm homeowner given a
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: lot of people at the moment are completely freaking out
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: about the interest rate rises.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it does make me feel a bit
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: more calm, just because we've planned for these things, and
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: my partner and I are on the same page as well,
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: so you know, if things go up too much, then
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: it's like, okay, we're going to have to he might
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: have to sell one of his three.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Cars or three cars. All right, Well you've opened that
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: can of Williams. What does he do for him?
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: He's a mechanic.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, this story checks out very seriously.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Yep. So yeah, we do have plans in place for
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: you if it becomes too much, and you know, obviously
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: the very last case is to sell the house if
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: it was to come to that, but that's worst case scenario,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: like that would be the very last thing that we
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: would ever want to do.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, Well it's nice to know that you've
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: gone in I guess with your eyes open and you
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: understand the process, because I think sometimes a mortgage can
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: be all consuming and people often don't think about what
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: life looks like. After you've got that mortgage, you just go, oh,
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: my gosh, like this is the most exciting thing ever.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: And then you realize that maybe you did buit it
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: off more than you can chew, and that you're not
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: in the best possible position. But it sounds like you
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: guys have it covered, and that makes me so excited.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I'm assuming you're pretty good at money, like you, at
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: the end of the day, have just bought a house,
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: like I feel like your money story leans towards you
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: making some savvy decisions. Tell me a little bit more
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: about what you think your best money habit is.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: My best money habit is probably using the ses on
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: the money budget template because it just helps me see
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: exactly where my money is. And I know exactly where
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: my money is all the time, and I have automated
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: all my payments. I don't even have to every week
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: transfer money. It just automatically comes out, which is great.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Every payday it's gone, and then hey, I have this
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: much left over, which is awesome.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I wanted to just roll all the
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: way back to the letter that you wrote me, which
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: was very, very nice. But in it you mentioned that
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: you moved overseas sadly to an emotionally abusive relationship right
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: before COVID hit. So I feel like this is a
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: glow up, like this is from one thing to another.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: What was your experience going through that. Is this a
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: reality that you saw happening for you? Is this something
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: where you were like, oh my gosh. No, of course, Victoria,
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: I was always super positive through this because if it
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: was an emotionally abusive relationship, I'm assuming it kind of
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: got you down a fair bit. So how my friend,
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: did you get through this? Because your story is relatively inspirational,
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: and I look at it and go, oh my gosh,
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: how did she do this and then come out the
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: end looking super shiny, super amazing and like absolutely living
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: her best life.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, So I always sort of wanted to move to
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: the UK to experience living overseas, and and I'm a
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: dual citizen, so it was nice and easy for me
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: to do, which was nice. But when I went to
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: visit my friend who lives in the UK. I met
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: her brother, and then that's when we sort of started talking,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: got into a relationship, and I ended up moving over
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: there to their hometown. So I had no family and
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: friends around me in person except for his two sisters.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: And pretty quickly it was obviously it was very stressful
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: moving over there with no support around me in person,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: but I had a lot of support around me, you know,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: over the phone and stuff like that. Yeah, of course. Yeah.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: So very quickly he started picking fights with me. It
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: seemed that, you know, he wasn't very empathetic to my stress,
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: and it was very easy to upset me and trigger
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: me into like fights and that sort of thing. So
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: he would start arguments and then he would go and
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: complain to his family about how awful I was and
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: saying that I'm just picking fights and being angry at
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: him for no reason. And one time it was very
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: lucky for me that he actually did it right in
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: front of his older sister. And then I ended up
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: leaving this is at her house. So I ended up
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: leaving her house. I was like, I'm not doing this right.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Now, not here, not right now.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I'm leaving. See when you get home. Sort of thing,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: and then I messaged her later on, I'm like, I'm
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: so sorry, Like, obviously I didn't want to up and
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: leave like that, spending time with you was obviously our
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: priority for that time, and like that happened, and she's like, no,
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: I can actually see what's going on now, and.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's awful that you have to do that, but
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: like it's kind of good that they got to see
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: it from your perspectives.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: I thought you were going to tell me that his
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: whole family were going to be against you, because you know,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: anyone messes with my sister, oh you've got another thing coming.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: I'm the only one that's allowed to mess with her, exactly.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: So I genuinely assumed that you were going to tell me.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: They didn't see it, and I was all alone. So
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: what happened next?
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so next to COVID hit. So I had got
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: a job in the February and I was I started
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: that job in March at the very start of March.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: That was the day that Italy went into lockdown. A
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: week later, we lost our jobs. So it was in
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: the travel industry.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Gosh, oh my gosh, like the first to go, yes,
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: kick you while you're down.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah. So I worked for
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: flight Center for four years before I moved to the UK,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: so going back into the travel industry was suitable and easy. Yeah. So,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: and then obviously COVID happened and we went into lockdown
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: after I lost my job, and he was very unsympathetic
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: about me losing my job as well, So two days
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: after it, I was still quite upset, and his words were,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I thought you'd be over it by now.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: I lost my job, and you're a piece of trash,
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: so why would I be over there exactly.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And getting that job it was like, okay, great,
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: now I can make a plan to leave. Now I
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: can look at my own plan.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: Now you're not tied because you don't feel bad quitting
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: a job that you'd started so soon.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was able to. I was thinking I
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: was going to be able to move out into my
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: own flat, leave him and all that, and then when
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I lost that job, it was like, oh, I'm stuck again.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: That was your freedom, Yeah, it was my freedom. And
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: then I was stuck in the flat with him for
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: all of the first lockdown. Luckily, he worked in like
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: a freight distribution warehouse, so he didn't lose work at all,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: which was great because it meant I got some time
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: without him in lockdown.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and he wasn't home twenty four seven exactly.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was definitely a bit of a relief.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: But yeah, and then during lockdown he would do like
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: little things that were just built up, like, for example,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: in the kitchen, he wouldn't we had one of those
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: bins that you like pressed down and it clicks in.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, So he would never close that bin,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: and it stunk out the whole one bedroom apartment because
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: it's such a small apartment and it's a kitchen bin.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: They smell. And then when I said something, he would
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: just try and convince me that the bin was broken,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: which obviously it wasn't because I was having no problems
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: closing it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: Sir, you are trying to gaslight me and you're not
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: even doing a good job exactly.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So he that was just one of the examples
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: of him gaslighting me. And then one time I saw
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: him not close the bin, like he opened it, put
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: something in it and then walked away, and I was like.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Ah, And it's always the small things that break the
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: camel's back, exactly, Like there's obviously way bigger issues in
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: your relationship, because I promise you, if it was just
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: the bin, then we've got a big problem. But you
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: just know it's not the bin. Like this is manifesting
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: and coming out in the frustration, and like it's all
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: small things that they know they could fix, or that
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: anybody could fix, but they're just choosing not to. Exactly,
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: you're watching he one hundred percent exactly.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: And yeah, he swore black and blue that he could
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: have sworn on someone's life that he closed that bin.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: And I saw it with my own eyes that he
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: did not, so so sit down. Yeah, the gas lighting
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: was just next level.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: He needs some training and gas lighting like do it
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: probably if you're going to do it at all, sir.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I know exactly.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you went through that
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: because it would have been emotionally and mentally draining. It
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: would have just beat you while that you were down,
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: like you'd already felt a bit trashy because you've lost
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: your job in COVID and you're away from your family
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: and friends, and like it's just not it's kind of
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: like a storm right in a teacup where it's just
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: like my entire world doesn't make sense exactly.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I was stuck in that cycle until about
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: June July when we were allowed out. And luckily my
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: dad lives in the UK as well, so.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, how good.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so he lived a couple of hours away
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: from where I lived. But once the first down ended,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: we were able to rent cars again and vans, so
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: I got him to rent a van to come pick
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: me up. And then that was the second time in
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: six months that I started all over again, and I
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: went and lived in London.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. So what happened when you moved in
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: with your dad? Was it all up from there?
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Pretty much? Yeah? So, I mean, there was definitely rocky
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: when I was in London, but it was it was
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: two years of living in a different country. I lived
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: with my dad for six weeks and then I moved
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: into the city by myself, and I moved I think
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: three or four times within a year or two London life, yep, exactly.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: So that was a bit painful, but you know, it
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: was good. I had some steady work. I was working
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: in schools as a teaching assistant and a mentor, so
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: that was really nice. I really liked that and yeah,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: and then I ended up moving home.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Oh how good? And can I be real sneaky and cheeky?
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: I want to know how did you meet your current partner?
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Like when does he come into the mix?
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah? So he comes into the mix. In February of
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty two, So, while I was in the UK,
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: unfortunately I lost my cousin to suicide.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry you went through that.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I decided to fly home for her funeral
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: and to be with my family, obviously, because I needed
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: that support. I didn't want to sort of be by myself.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I obviously had friends and family over there, but it
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: wasn't the right side of the family. And it was,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: you know, being there and being able to lean on
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: all my family and have them lean on me, and
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: everything was good. And then while I was in Australia
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: on that trip, I went to visit one of my
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: auntie and uncles and he used to be their neighbor,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: so they were friends, and he was there for my
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: auntie's birthday and then my mum and my auntie were
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: plotting how to set us up.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: They knew oh yeah.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Absolutely yeah, but I thought I'd just beat them to it.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: So I added him on socials and then we started
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: talking a few days later.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I'll do this myself, Mum. I don't need you.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Exactly, because I know how embarrassing these two are just
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: by themselves, let alone together.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: He knows he lived next door.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm like, oh, you know what, I'm not
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: letting this happen. I'll do it myself.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: I love that so much. That's a really wholesome story.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: And now you've bought a house together and you're renovating it. Oh,
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: that makes me so happy to know that you're in
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: such a better place.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. I ended up extending my trip for an
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: extra week than I planned, so we spent sort of
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: the next two three weeks together before I went back
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: to the UK, and straight away it was I was
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: supposed to be in the UK for another six months,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: but straight away he was like, yeah, it's fine, we'll
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: do long distance. I'll be waiting here for you when
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: you get back.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, what a honey.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So, and I lasted one week until I booked
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: a flight for a month later.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: I love that so much. You're like, I am a
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: strong independent woman unless I'm in love.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Exactly and don't listen to me.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: I love that so much. It makes my heart so
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: happy hearing people's love stories. So I was like, tell
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: me about that part because I feel like that part
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: will be really cute. Oh my gosh. And now you're
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: building a little life together. What's next?
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: What's next is continuing the renovations, Yeah, and sort of
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: getting the property up to what we need it to be.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: He wants to put a big shed on the property.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: So it's got a decent backyard and frontyard.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Now good, Oh my gosh. I love that so much.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: That was essentially your answer to what is your best
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: money habit? So I guess I now should ask you
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: what's your worst money habit? And I promise everybody it's
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: not going to be as long wind dead. So what
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: do you reckon your worst money?
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: How? That is my worst money habit is? Probably I
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: can be quite impulsive. So if I want something, oh,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: generally hyper fixate on it, and I won't like weigh
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: up the pros and cons necessarily, I will just hyper
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: fixate on it until I press to kat and check out.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: That's actually quite funny. Are you putting twenty four hours
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: between you and your spending.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: It might be an hour, it might be a week.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, but it's still hyper fixated and we're still going
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: to do this regardless exactly.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I figure out ways to justify it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Regardless of how long it takes.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: You'll just spend a week justifying it and do it anyway.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Oh my gosh.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: I'm going to say I love that, but I don't
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: because it's obviously not great. But at the same time,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I love that you're self aware about that and it
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: clearly makes you happy, exactly exactly. All right, Well, unfortunately
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: that is all we have time for today. It has
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: been beautiful Money Diarist learning about your story and sharing
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: some really important tips in tricks. And I think that,
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: apart from the fact that it's so cool to know
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: that you got into your first home using Zella money,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: obviously I'm very biased, I also think it's just such
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: a nice story to share because there are going to
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: be people listening to this that are in not so
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: great relationships or situations that they want to get out of,
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: and knowing that not only have you gotten out of it,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: you have had an absolute glow up in you are
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: living your best life. It makes me so happy knowing
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: you have a job that you love, and you've moved
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: into your house and you're renovating it, and you have
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: this partner that you're in love with, and it's just
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: it's such a nice story to share because I think
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: that being able to see that puts a light at
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: the end of the tunnel for a lot of people.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: So I really appreciate it. Thank you.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I'm really glad that I could share my
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: story and hopefully inspire someone to leave that situation if
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: they're in it. There's a lot of support, especially around
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: on social media. So many of these groups that I'm
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: in as well, they really helped sort of put things
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: into perspectives. So yeah, really nice just communities around in
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: girls groups and they've been really really helpful as well.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: My gosh, I love that so much. Thank you so
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: much for sharing so much time with me. I really
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: appreciate it.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for having me.
• 27:54
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• 27:57
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• 28:01
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