Latest / Internal Insights / Individual Therapy vs Couples Therapy: How to Know Which One You Need
Transcript
- Ted Thao: Welcome to Internal Insights, a quick, honest conversation about mental health in about five minutes or less. I'm your host Ted Tao, a licensed professional counselor, and the owner of Internal Insights Therapy in San Antonio, Texas. Every episode, we take one idea from therapy, trauma, anxiety, relationships, identity, and talk about it plainly. No jargon, no fluff, just something real. Let's get into it. Have you ever sat in a waiting room and had a small moment of panic, wondering if you even picked the right kind of appointment? I think about that a lot, because I get a version of this question. People aren't sure if they should come to see me alone, or bring their partner, or bring their whole family. And honestly, that's a good thing to be unsure about, because the two are not the same experience at all. Let me explain. Individual counseling is when it's just you and me. It's the space that belongs entirely to you. Nobody else's feelings are in the room, nobody else's version of the events matters more than you. We can go slow, we can go deep, we can follow whatever trend feels most alive for you that week. Whether it's something from your childhood, a pattern you keep repeating, or just the weight you're carrying around right now. It's personal work. And it moves at your pace. Family or couples counseling is completely different. Now there are two or more people in the room, and my job shifts. I'm not listening to one person's story anymore. I'm watching how two or more stories collide and where the disconnect actually happens. It's less about digging into one's person's past and more about what happens between you in the present moment. Right in front of me. I'm paying attention to tone. To timing, to who shuts down when, to what gets said and what never qu quite makes it out of someone's mouth. It's a kind of different listening. It's a kind of different work. Think of it like this Individual work is tending to your own garden. Family or couple's work is figuring out why two gardens are supposed to be growing side by side. Or if they even can be growing side by side. So how do you know which one you actually need? Honestly, my answer is usually simpler than what people expect. Asking yourself who the pain is happening around. If it's heavy for you. Like when does it show up? Does it show up when it's in any environment? Let's say if it goes into work or into relationships or friendships or how you talk about yourself at two in the morning. It's usually a sign if that's pain is coming up in different i environments, individual work is a place to start. But if that pain is really specific to a relationship. If it only shows up in your partner or in your family system, and you find yourself thinking, I'm fine everywhere except here, is often a sign that the relationship needs to be in the room too. You don't have to get it perfectly right before you reach out. I've had some people start in individual sessions and realize six weeks in the real work is actually a conversation between their partner and them. I've had couples come in together and realize that one of them needs more individual space before they can even show up fully for couples work. It's not a wrong turn. It's just information. Therapy isn't a one way road We can shift as we learn more about what's going on. If you're sitting with the uncertainty right now, trying to decide whether which door to walk through, I gently say this. You don't need to figure it out before you call. That's actually part of the first conversation. That's it for this episode of Internal Insights. If this gave you something to sit with, or just made you feel a little less alone, that's the whole point. This isn't a replacement for therapy, but if you're looking for support, you can find me at Internal Insights Therapy in San Antonio, Texas. Thank you for spending five minutes or less with me. I'll see you next time.