Latest / The Good Girl Rebellion / I Wasn't Hungry, I Was Hurting: The Truth About Comfort Eating & How to Heal

Transcript

I Wasn't Hungry, I Was Hurting: The Truth About Comfort Eating & How to Heal · The Good Girl Rebellion

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to talk about comfort eating.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because what if the thing you are reaching for over and over and over again to make yourself feel better, to numb the pain, to quiet your mind is actually the thing stopping you from hearing what it is you truly need, from understanding what it is you actually need to do to heal, and from actually taking the steps to healing yourself.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Each week we are unraveling years of conditioning to reclaim our wild, rebellious, and intuitive truth.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wildest self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you're in the right place.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the rebellion.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about comfort eating because comfort eating is something that I have overcome this year.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: It is something it is a topic that is very dear to my heart right now.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is something that so many women go through, and so many women navigate alone, and it's something that I'm here to tell you that you're not alone.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to tell you that it's okay.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I see you, I hear you, I feel you, and I'm here to hold you in this episode, and I'm here to help you because this last six months of my life has been really hard.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's been some of the toughest life I've ever lived, and I lent on food massively.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: I felt so disconnected from myself.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I lost my cycles, I lost my rhythm, I lost my way, I had no routine, I had no job, I had no kind of purpose for myself in my everyday life, and I was in an environment where I didn't feel grounded and secure and where I wanted to be.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the UK, back living with my mum and my stepdad, and I'm very grateful to have that bedroom there to be in when I need it, but it's not where I feel my best, it's not where I feel myself, and it's not where I thrive.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I just felt so disconnected from everything.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying so hard to make it work.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody in my life was asking me what I'm doing and what I'm creating and how I'm feeling and what I'm doing and what's going on with this and what's going on with that, and I had no answers because I had no spark, I had no creativity.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I had nothing.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I just had nothing left, and I was constantly eating, I was constantly just filling the void with food.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was always reaching for food to make myself feel better.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And in the moment I knew I was doing it, I knew that I was using food as a way to numb the pain, but I wasn't ready to see it, I wasn't ready to feel it, I wasn't ready to deal with the emotions that were swimming beneath the surface because I'd also been told that eating three meals a day was gonna get my cycle back, and for me personally, I feel like eating three meals a day took me further away from my true essence and my divine cyclical nature than not eating three meals a day.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: The big message in this podcast, and something that I'm trying to scream on my socials at the moment, is if something works for one person, it doesn't mean it's gonna work for you.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: One size doesn't fit all.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if one person eats three meals a day and they thrive, you might not.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: One person might eat one meal or eat dairy or eat meat or eat gluten.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're not uniform, we're not the same person, and we aren't we are not a one size fits all.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that is another big message I want you to take from this episode.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's that whatever I say, whatever I say works for me, take it with a pinch of salt because it might not work for you, and that's okay, but you have to go on the journey to figure out what it is works for you.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And whilst I was in this period of discomfort at home, food became my predictability.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: It became the thing I relied on.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had nothing else going on in my life, really.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was in this kind of limbo, like this in-between phase where I'd gone home, I couldn't get employed because I was going to Australia, but I didn't want to go to Australia yet because I wanted to be with my mum on her 60th, and I wanted to be with my friends on my 30th.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I created the situation for myself, I created this mess myself, and I only have myself to blame, but I used it as an excuse to have nothing in my life.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't get employed, I couldn't really find any kind of solid structure and work.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I had no sparks, I didn't really know what to create for a cyclica.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I felt so lost and just flat.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I relied on food.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Food was the one thing I looked forward to.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Food was all I had to keep me in a rhythm and keep me in routine, and the only thing I kind of had to look forward to every day, which is so sad now I look back at it because I had so much to look forward to, and I had so much there to hold me and love me, and but I wasn't ready.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to be held, I didn't want to be loved, I just wanted to consume, I wanted to numb, and I've never experienced that before.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've always been someone to face my demons head on, and I wasn't ready, and that's okay, sometimes we're not ready, but it's about understanding that this is what we are using as a numbing tool.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is what we are using to make ourselves feel better because food became a reward, it became something that I knew was always there.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was my emotional buffer.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Every time I was uncomfortable, anxious, lonely, bored, sad, it was always there.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: The next meal was always there, it was always there to fill me up and make me feel nourished and make me feel held and make me feel like I belonged with my food, even though I just wasn't ready to face how I actually felt.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't ready to actually listen to what my mind and my body and my soul were trying to tell me because the food gave me something to focus on.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was nourishing my body, I was eating three meals a day, I was trying to get my cycle back.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It was what I was doing, rather than actually asking myself if I was happy, rather than actually unpacking the fact that I was truly unhappy.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: I used it as an excuse of no no no, I'm doing this and this is alright, and this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, can you reflect maybe in something in your own life where you're using food as an excuse to numb yourself, but you're using the reason you're consuming it as a valid reason.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, if you want to eat three meals a day and three meals a day works for you, if you want to eat five meals a day and five meals a day works for you, that's great.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: But are you using it as no no no, well, this is what I just have to do, this is what I've been told I have to do?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Are you using it as an excuse to numb what is actually going on?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because comfort eating isn't actually about food, food is the symptom.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is not hunger, calories, macronutrients.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Who on the internet has told you you need to eat X, Y, and Z to be your best self?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is fear, uncertainty, lack of purpose, feeling disconnected, loneliness, having no direction in your life, not knowing where you're going, what you're doing, not having a spark, not having any source of creative outlet.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: That is the problem.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Food is just the symptom, but what is actually underneath the surface that you need to draw your attention to?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: What is it that this comfort eating is avoiding you from feeling?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because food isn't the issue, food is the distraction.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because what does food and comfort eating actually do in your body physically?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: So when you have a full stomach, you temporarily soothe your anxiety.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: When you consume foods that are sweet and tasty, they release dopamine, which then creates pleasure, which is then addictive, which then keeps you coming back for that dopamine hit because we are so reliant on dopamine nowadays because we don't know how to go without it, and they distract you from the difficult emotions.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: But the emotion remains, the situation remains, the discomfort remains, everything stays the same.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter how much you eat, it's always going to be underneath.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you imagine you dig it all down in a hole, and you can bury it as deep as you want, you can put as much earth over it as you want, you can eat as much food as you want, and you can try and cover up the issue over and over and over again as many times as you want, but it's always gonna be there, it's always gonna be down there in the dirt, and you need to dig it up and you need to see it and you need to face it and you need to deal with it.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be messy and it's gonna be horrible and it's gonna be hard, but you have to do it, you have to dig down and you have to feel what it is you are eating your way out of feeling.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew it, I knew it every meal I ate, I knew that it was numbing what I didn't want to feel, it was temporary relief from what I wasn't ready to sit with.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I just dug myself a deeper hole.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just made it so much worse for myself.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas if you actually can face it, if you can see this message and you can understand it and you know that there is something in your life, you're listening to this for a reason, if you're listening or watching, you are going through some form of comfort eating yourself, you are numbing yourself in some way, and I'm here to hold you and tell you to do the things that I'm gonna tell you to do later on in this episode to make sure you can feel what it is you're trying to eat yourself from feeling because it's not gonna go away, it is not gonna go away, and you need to understand the sooner you deal with it, the better you will feel, and the better it will be.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I saw this quote on Instagram, and this quote really kind of tweaked something in my mind.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: It made me think, shit, okay, I have a problem and this needs to be addressed, I need to stop it.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: It was if you're eating past the point of hunger, you're feeding something deeper.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so true.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you know you're full, or you know you're not hungry, and you're eating anyway, it's comfort.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: You are trying to fill a void with food because you aren't ready to face it.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because we don't keep eating because we're hungry, we eat because we don't want to feel the loneliness, or we don't want to feel the grief, or we don't want to feel the fear, or the change, or the uncertainty, or the boredom that is so present within us.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're just not ready to feel it.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to feel it, we want to keep eating and putting more dirt over it so that we don't have to face it and it can just go away, but it's not gonna go away, it's not gonna go away, you have to feel it.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when I stopped reaching for the food, I suddenly had to sit with myself, and it was the best thing I've ever done.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because it isn't that you're actually hungry, it's not that something's gonna go wrong or life's gonna fall apart, and because I had intertwined the two of I had to eat three meals a day because I was trying to get my cycle back, and if I didn't eat three meals a day, then I wasn't gonna get my cycle back, but then I was eating three meals a day and I still wasn't getting my cycle back, and now I was getting overweight for myself and what I'm comfortable in, and it was a really horrible cycle to be in, and it wasn't until I stopped and I stepped away, I hit breaking point, I got to the point where I was like so uncomfortable in my own skin, I didn't recognise myself, and it wasn't even just physically that I didn't recognize myself, it was emotionally and spiritually and mentally.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just felt numb, I felt like such a brain fog was over my head.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I felt no spark, no creativity, no joy, no abundance and gratitude for life, which is if anybody knows me from my life, that is who I am.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: People will say that I'm like a ray of sunshine, and I just felt like a dark cloud, and I knew that something had to change.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew that deep down that it was about what I was consuming, it was about the amount of food I was eating, because I've never ever eaten three meals in my life, I've always been two meals or two and a half meals a day.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've never been three full meals a day, and I knew that that had to change, and that was having a knock-on effect on how I felt.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: It was about the mental battle of not having that form of comfort.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: That was the hardest part.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I decided to start intermittent fasting.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm playing around with periods of 18-hour fasts, and that first morning was one of the hardest things I have ever done not getting up and numbing myself with food because I had to feel it, feel it, I had to feel everything, I had to sit with it, I had to cry and fall apart and break down.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Breaking down a few days prior because I truly didn't recognize myself was a way worse experience than breaking down and actually feeling the things that I haven't allowed myself to feel for months.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because I would much rather be shaken up by the things that are holding me back than the things that are keeping me stuck.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: I would much rather feel this discomfort and this pain and get back to who I know I can be, to get back to my bubbly, bursting, radiant, thriving self rather than being this dark cloud that I felt like I was becoming.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And once I got over that first day, I went to sleep.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I had the best night's sleep I have had in a very long time.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I woke up in the morning and I just felt like a whole new person.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was back to myself.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was connected to my intuition again, I was connected to my spirituality, to my mental state.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was sharper, I felt like I wasn't relying on food to bring me comfort.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like actually, you know what, I can make this myself.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: I can make my own comfort, I can make my own joy.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that isn't a feeling I felt for a very long time.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think it's crazy that I allowed myself to feel like this for so long because I was so afraid of feeling this discomfort when actually on the other side of that discomfort is the greatest joy ever.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because it made me realize that hunger and emotions are very different signals.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I started asking myself, am I physically hungry?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because I actually didn't remember the last time I had physically been hungry.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Am I bored?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Am I stressed?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I avoiding something?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: What am I actually needing right now?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And when I stopped filling myself with food to avoid these questions, I actually could hear myself again.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I could understand that actually the answers were always there.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just had to stop numbing myself enough to be able to hear them.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because hand in hand with comfort eating is actually this world we live in in consumerism.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's consuming, it's constantly being numbed by social media, television, food, podcast, shopping, entertainment, you name it, we are constantly being filled with shit.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it doesn't matter if it you're putting it in your body, you're putting it in your mind, you're listening to it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you sat for 10 minutes in pure boredom, staring out the window at nothing like you used to when you were a child, watching the raindrops collect together?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like we aren't bored, we aren't alive and present with our emotions anymore.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: We are just constantly distracted and consuming.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that is exactly where comfort eating sits hand in hand with the world we live in now.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because we are constantly encouraged to take in more, take in more, take in more, learn more, do more, be more.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Allow yourself to sit, allow yourself to be quiet, allow yourself to sit with the emptiness and the discomfort of nothing and see how it makes you feel.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because nothing bad's gonna happen.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know that there's a meal when you actually need it, when you're truly hungry, but can you sit with what it feels like to have nothing inside you, around you, consuming you?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: How does that feel?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever actually allowed yourself to feel that before?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is a really liberating feeling to sit with your eyes closed with nothing, no distraction, no food, no full belly, nothing.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just you and your thoughts.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: See what comes up, because most of the time it's quite incredible what it is your intuition brings to your attention when you allow yourself to truly listen.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because as the world asks us to take in more, I encourage you to do the opposite and heal.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Allow yourself to heal in that nothingness, allow yourself to be still, to listen, to reflect, to feel, allow yourself to sit with what comes up.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes the answer isn't in consuming more, sometimes the answer is creating space.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: So these are six things that I did to stop myself comfort eating and things that you can implement straight away.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And trust me, I know how you feel right now when somebody on Instagram tells you these are the five things you need to do to stop binge eating or comfort eating or to do this.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I watched so many of these videos and I thought, how am I gonna do that?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna implement any of those things?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do that, I can't just stop, I just can't do it.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I want you to get really, really honest with yourself and ask yourself, is this reality worth it?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Is allowing yourself to fill the void with food and how it's making you feel physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, is it worth it?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you ready to face your demons and are you ready to actually see what is swimming beneath the surface?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I promise you it's worth it.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you it's worth it.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one is you need to do what brings you joy, and this is I think the thing that everybody misses.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is the one thing that nobody talked about online that was the missing piece for me.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Moving to Australia, finding my creativity, finding my freedom.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, okay, everything here right now isn't how I want it to be.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still a bit stressed, I need to find a job, things for another conversation.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: But moving, doing that big thing and moving to Australia that I've always dreamt of doing changed everything because it allowed me to have the space to create, to be free, to feel like my true self again.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: At home in the UK, I just don't feel like myself, and that is something that I have just come to accept.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And where are you now?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are you in a job that you hate?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you in a relationship that suffocates you?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you surrounded by people who don't understand you?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: What is it in your life that brings you this unhappiness that you think you're trying to avoid?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: What can you do to bring yourself more happiness?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is the one thing, the most important thing.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you take one thing from this video, one thing from this podcast, it is about bringing yourself happiness and joy.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: And you have to create it for yourself.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: No one else can make it for you.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: People can be there, like your true friends, your partner, whoever it is that lights you up, but they can be there, they can help you, they can try and help you, but unless you want to be happy, and unless you do the things that make you happy, you're never gonna change.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one, find the things that bring you joy and make yourself happy.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, pause before eating.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is so hard.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you are truly in the depths of comfort eating, this is one of the hardest things you can do.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how many times I walked into the kitchen and I had in my mind, you need to pause, take a breath, don't eat.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, No, I don't want to feel it.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ready.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ready.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just want a little piece of chocolate.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ready.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's no the thing is as well, is there's no bad and good foods, but comfort eating just allows you to take and reach for anything, and it ruins your relationship with food because food in moderation, it's all beautiful, it's all wonderful, it's what we need to nourish ourselves, to feel our best, to be happy.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a full range of diversity.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: But comfort eating ruins that because you then see things as good and bad.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to pause, I want you to take a breath, and I want you to ask yourself, what am I feeling?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: What am I feeling?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: What's happened today?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: What's just happened in your life that uh is making you stressed, is making you want to eat?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Did you just go through a difficult conversation or a shit day or what's happening in your life that makes you want to reach for food?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you actually need instead?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Are you lonely?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need a hug?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need a conversation with one of your friends?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need somebody to hear you and listen to you and see you for who you truly are in this moment?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need somebody to hold space for you?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: What do you truly need?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself those questions and take a breath and pause and try and stop before you reach for the food.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: If asking the questions in your mind doesn't work, you could journal them.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: You could also ask, what emotions am I trying not to feel right now?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is a great thing because then usually when you journal, you tap into your subconscious mind, and quite often I will write things out and I'll be like, oh, I've never I've never thought that thought before.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's a new one, and that's the thing that just triggers it in your mind because you then can see it from almost like an outside outside perspective.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: You understand that this is actually what's going on.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is what's beneath the surface that you perhaps weren't ready to see.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you could ask, what would this emotion say if it was ready to speak?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: What would it be trying to bring to the surface?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: What does it want me to feel that I'm not ready to feel?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: What is my mind trying to bring to my attention that I just don't want to acknowledge?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Number four is can you create a comfort menu?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Can you create a list of things that are going to hold you and nourish you and make you feel comfort instead of food?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Can you call on things like yoga, walking, breath work, calling a friend, meditation, reading, music, dance, being in nature?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Just can you get this overwhelming sense that you want to eat something and you're like, right, no, put your shoes on and you go for a walk around the block in nature, wherever it is that makes you feel better, take a breath, take a minute for yourself in space.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And silence and ask yourself what's truly going on beneath the surface.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Can you call upon your comfort menu?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Can you bring these things into your life to help you feel to help you understand what it is you're truly craving?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because quite often it's things like rest, connection, safety, expression, and love.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: We are just human beings.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: We need human beings and comfort and community and love and joy to be our best selves.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're surrounded by none of that right now, give yourself some grace because of course you're going to try and find comfort in something else.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I encourage you to lean on the people in your life to help you figure it out and help you do it in a different way.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do it in a way that's going to make you feel better about yourself.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Do it in a way that's going to be sustainable and that you can use to become the best version of yourself.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Can you start a yoga practice?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then can you let your yoga practice evolve as you go on this healing journey?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then can you look back in six months' time and realize how much your yoga practice has actually developed and established alongside your healing journey?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because what a beautiful thing that is to understand that you were here and now you're all the way up here and you did that all by yourself.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you learn to sit with the discomfort.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is a tough one.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is tough.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the biggest and the most difficult, and the one that people don't want to do because most people don't need more discipline, they need the capacity to feel, they need to sit with the nothing and feel and understand how that makes them feel.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because when was the last time, as I said previously in this episode, you sat with nothing in your belly, nothing in your ears, nothing in your mind, nothing you're watching, nothing you're consuming in any way, shape, or form.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: You are completely empty and you just felt what there was to be felt.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because the goal is never to feel uncomfortable, the goal is to stop running from the discomfort.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's to stop numbing it with the food, it's to stop pushing dirt over it and digging it further and further and further and further away from you because it's never gonna go anywhere.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Learn to sit with the discomfort because you will go through phases in your life over and over and over again where things feel like they are falling a fucking part.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't deal with the discomfort, the discomfort, the discomfort, if you can't deal with the discomfort, you will continuously, over and over and over again, lean on food or something, whatever it is you lean on, you will lean on that thing.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: So until you can learn to sit with the discomfort, you can alchemize it, you can feel it, you can sit with it and choose differently, face your shadows, face your demons, choose differently, you will always return back to that form of comfort, whether it's comfort eating, whether it's the use of alcohol, whether it's the use of sex, whether it's the use of porn or drugs or whatever it is, TV, shopping, whatever it is that numbs your pain, you will come back to it until you understand and until you allow yourself to sit with the discomfort.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because I promise you that discomfort is worth it.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling these feelings is worth its weight in gold once you are on the other side.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally, number six, can you find the root cause?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: Can you ask yourself, what is this food protecting me from?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: What is this food stopping me from feeling?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: What am I avoiding?
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: What truth don't I want to admit to myself?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: What is it I'm hiding from?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you understand what you're hiding from, you can then allow yourself to face it.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can allow yourself to stand in it and be bold and face it alone and be brave and change it.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can choose differently, you can choose to live differently, you can choose to act differently, you can choose not to eat the food, you can sit with the discomfort and feel your feelings and understand what it is they're actually trying to show you and tell you and share with you.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I allowed myself to live in this spiral for five months over and over and over again, not facing what I was feeling, not facing how I was unhappy, not facing what was truly going on in my life, and I wasn't ready to feel it and understand I wasn't ready to bring to the surface what it was that needed to be sat with.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't ready to be in the discomfort, and it's okay if you're not ready yet, but just understand that the sooner you get there, the sooner you allow yourself to be ready, the sooner you face this struggle, the better your life will be.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because looking back, I didn't need another meal, I didn't need another square of chocolate or another breakfast bowl or another this or that or anything that I used to numb my pain.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: I needed honesty.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to admit that I wasn't happy.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to admit that things needed to change, and I needed to stop using food to fill a void that I never could.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because at that point in my life I felt like who was I to not be happy?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Who was I to say that I wasn't okay?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: Who was I to say that everything in my life was falling apart and I didn't know how to pull it all back together?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Who was I to say that I was drowning and I didn't know how to keep myself afloat?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because from the outside I looked like I should have been thriving, but I wasn't, I was drowning.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are drowning, you just need to say that you're drowning, you need to say you need help, you need to say that what is on your plate is too much for you to handle because I should have.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: I should have dealt with my feelings months ago when I knew they were bubbling beneath the surface.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: But when I knew that I was eating and digging them deeper and deeper and deeper, I should have dealt with them and I didn't because I wasn't ready.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not ready, it's okay.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are ready, you can do this and know that I'm here along this journey with you.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can send me a DM, tell me how you're feeling, tell me what it is you're going through.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: I am here with you on this journey.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because the moment I started listening, the moment I stopped numbing, and the moment I allowed myself to go without food, everything changed.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Everything changed.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: I have finally felt clear, like I could hear, like I knew what it was I needed to do, and like I knew the direction I needed to take.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I encourage you to just try.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe the thing you're craving isn't actually food at all.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's rest, maybe it's purpose, maybe it's change, and maybe it's your body just asking you to return to yourself, to trust your rhythm, to trust your knowledge, to trust your wisdom, and to trust that you know how to hold yourself because you do.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: You can hold yourself through any situation as long as you believe you will make it through it, you'll make it through it.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you, once you stop numbing yourself, everything will unfold as it's supposed to, everything will become clearer, and everything will start to make sense again.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because food is not the answer.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Comfort eating is just going to numb your pain for as long as you feel like comfort eating.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: But the minute you hit rock bottom, the minute you can't take it anymore, the minute you don't recognize yourself and you just can't do it anymore, I'm here for you.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is here for you.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: These tools are here for you.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Cyclica is here for you.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Everything I have shared in this episode, I have lived my own experience.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have any questions, if you have anything you want to share, as I've already said, come to my DMs on Instagram at the Cyclica, and I will be here for you.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: We can have a conversation, we can chat it all out, and yeah, I hope that this episode helps you.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this episode helps to heal your relationship with food and heal your comfort eating.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this was a really vulnerable share for me because this is something that I am navigating and something that I have navigated this year.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've never experienced anything like this before.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: You experience what you experience in order to help others.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm here to help you heal your relationship with food as I am healing my relationship with food.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if this episode resonated with you, then make sure to share it with the guys and girls who need this reminder that everything is going to be okay.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to stop numbing yourself and you need to sit with the discomfort.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't already, make sure to follow the podcast or subscribe.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are watching or listening, I love to have you as one of my followers so that you make sure you never miss one of my episodes.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't already, as I mentioned, come and follow us on Instagram at the Cyclica for all things embodiment, menstrual cycle education, earth-based spirituality and magic.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that is all my loves.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode landed well.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that it helped you, and I hope that you can start your own healing journey.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, as always, I will see you again next week.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: All my love.