Latest / The Inner Well Podcast / Inner Stillness: I Never Understood "How" Until I Learned TM

Transcript

Inner Stillness: I Never Understood "How" Until I Learned TM · The Inner Well Podcast

• The Inner Well Podcast: We all contain a space within that when enlivened and nourished will support us with unwavering stability, expansion, and peace of mind. Join us each week as we dive into honest, grounded conversations about transcendental meditation, consciousness, and growth, and what it means to live an integrated life supported by a foundation of creativity and calm. This is the inner world. Hi everyone, welcome back to the Inner Well Podcast. I'm Emily, and I'm really excited to be here today with Tamara Julian. Tamara is an educator, wellness advocate, and longtime practitioner of transcendental meditation. She has more than 25 years of experience in education and currently supports adult learners with New York City public schools. Tamara is also completing a master's degree in consciousness and human potential at Maharishi International University. Her experience with TM has deepened her appreciation for its ability to reduce stress, create inner stability, and support personal growth. So, welcome, Tamara. I'm so happy that you're here. I'm really looking forward to our conversation. Same. Thank you so much, Emily. I appreciate it. So I'm again really excited to talk about your background. This month, we're focusing on creative intelligence, and we're talking to educators, we're talking to students and we're wanting to explore what is creative intelligence and how does it show up for you and in your work. But before we get into that, I'd love to hear a little bit more about, you know, your background and what brought you to TM in the first place. So first start by telling us what do you do and how did you find your way to transcendental meditation? Sure. ⁓ I ⁓ transition within the Department of Education. In that I started out as a math teacher, a seventh-grade math teacher. And then I became the dean of students. And during that time in my deanship, my principal was friendly with someone who worked at the David Lynch Foundation. This was back in 2013. And during that time, there was this push, this initiative where they were trying to get TM in the inner city schools because of the positive results that they had seen in other inner cities. And so my principal, he he welcomed it. And it started with four of the staff members at the school being trained, including myself. We were trained, however, it didn't take off with the students because of the ⁓ I'm going to call it out and say the bureaucracy in terms of, you know, what was expected with mandates that were set with children and having twenty minutes twice a day in the scope of the school timing, it it just didn't fit. And so ⁓ I learned it. I had never heard of transcendental meditation before that time. And I practiced, there wasn't really much going on in my life and I started to notice some changes and it it sat well, but I didn't continue the practice. So fast forward to 2017, there were some challenges that I faced. And honestly, I was in my backyard and praying. And in my prayer, I I was calling for help because I didn't know how to go about seeking the help, and I just didn't know what to do. And something came to me and said, Meditate. And so I started my meditation practice. And literally, like every day I felt better. I felt better. Things became more clear. ⁓ things started happening that wouldn't normally happen. You know, ⁓ that within that the course of that year, it was wild because All of the books that I had been reading, I was reading Eckhart Tolle. I'm a big fan of Oprah Winfrey. ⁓ I had just heard of Renee Brown. And if you can imagine, I saw each one of those authors either in ⁓ in a setting where it would never have happened within that very short period of time. I met Oprah Winfrey. I heard Eckhart Tolle speak. I went to a sitting with Brene Brown. All of the books that I had been currently reading at that time, I met each and every one of those authors. And so I just started to question like, how is this happening? How is it that I'm so fortunate that I'm able to meet these authors who are contributing so much to my growth? And though I was meditating, I I never put my thumb on the fact that. It was the meditation that was drawing this type of energy to me. And although I became more consistent, there were points where I maybe meditated once a day and I wasn't as consistent with the practice. And every time it happened, I noticed that I would get back into a space where there was complete turmoil again. Yeah. And so finally I I I connected it and I was like, you know, yes, these things are helpful. But I really believe that it is my meditation practice that is supporting and that is the foundation of everything that had been happening around me. And so at that point, when I realized how powerful this practice was, I again worked in the inner city schools with junior high schoolers, 11-year-olds, 12-year-olds, 13-year-olds, sometimes even 14-year-olds, that felt that they were adults, but They were acting like the children they were. And many of the students that I worked with had really difficult situations in their lives. And it at times was very difficult to work in the schools. And the teachers felt it. I had a different type of rapport with the students. So I I was able to deal with them in a different angle. I was tasked to have 200 to 250 students at one time in an auditorium space. And it it it was really challenging. And so I implemented my version of quiet time, where the students were asked to come into the auditorium as soon as they passed a certain threshold, which was entering the actual auditorium, they were asked to just be quiet. And ⁓ I didn't ask them to close their eyes ⁓ because living in the inner city, it's very difficult to just allow yourself to feel safe. And I understood that. And so I shared that they could close their eyes, but they didn't have to. And they sat in every other row in every other seat, just so that they can have a little bit of space without being tempted to, you know, interact with the person next to them or behind them. And literally they would sit for about two to three minutes and begin snoring. And what that said to me was that they're just exhausted. Yeah. You know, it's like a baby crying before they go to sleep. They don't they're they fight their way through and not want to do that because they wanna participate in what's going on around them. And ⁓ the weeks went by. And the teachers were running into my office. What are you doing with these kids? Because kids were coming in more focused. They were coming in asking questions. They were running into my office asking if they could just sit down so that they can be quiet for a moment before they, you know, lost their stuff ⁓ with teachers that they were interacting with. And it changed the culture of the school. Wow. Just by being quiet for ten minutes. Wow. And so this led me to want to figure out more about this practice. I I needed to understand what was happening because I couldn't figure it out on my own. Which is what led me to MIU. And thus getting my masters so that I could have more understanding. And I didn't know that MIU existed. I wanted actually to learn how to become a transcendental meditation teacher because I wanted to be able to do it one on one with students and even the families that you know they were interested. And at that time I had young children and it was only offered in the east, you know, in Thailand or in Bali or in India. And I have a mortgage and There was no way that I would be able to leave my family for that long of a period, which is five months, for me to do that. And a few years later I learned that MIU existed. I looked into it and that's a story. Wow. Well, what a powerful story. And I wanna I wanna touch on a few things that you said. You know, just that story you told about bringing the Kids into the auditorium and giving them that space just to sit and be still if they want to close their eyes, if they don't, and then having that rest come to them and that space to be quiet and how much that transformed them, that's powerful. That's what this is all about. And I want to talk more about that and how you've seen this grow even more in. young people and through your career. But I also want to come back to some beautiful points you made about your own experience. And it is not uncommon for people to come to TM or pick it up with regularity at a time that feels like some kind of transition or where we just don't feel, you know, tethered to ourselves. We feel tossed around. I had that in my own life. I learned very young. I ca went away from the practice and I came back to it at a time when I felt very lost. And it was sort of like the answer to that prayer of like, help me find some way to connect with myself and know what I want to do. So I feel very moved by that experience. And I'd love to know, had you done meditation before? I know you were interested in Eckhart Tolle and others. Had you done meditation and what was different about this or what made you realize, ⁓ wait, I think the meditation is helping me in this area. Yeah, I I had tried all different forms of meditation in in my younger years. ⁓ and I just never thought that I would be able to meditate because in the books that I've read, in any of the findings of the meditations that I that I practice or try to practice, it was this concept of blocking everything out, like having a white wall in your mind. You know, and and I think I felt like something was wrong with me. I was like, if if this is if this thing is possible, I just can't do it and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it. So ⁓ when I learned TM and my teacher shared that thoughts were a part of the process, I was blown. You know, because again, I I understood it as not having any thoughts at all and having this blank line and allowing that to, you know, be the practice. And so again, introduced as this effortless practice that doesn't take away from anything and that allowing myself to have thoughts is actually a part of it. I I just it just made all the sense of the world. And I once I started to practice it and I noticed how much more calm I was. I suffered with anxiety. I suffered with depression. One of my biggest thorns was speaking in public, even though I was an educator. It was more about, you know, speaking to an audience of my peers. Like it it terrified me. when I was encountered with having to do it, I I just did I never felt successful about it. Yeah. And ⁓ these would be, you know, teachers that I'm friends with and I I couldn't get my words out. My hands are sweating. And my thoughts would just go in every direction except where it needed to. And I started giving workshops. And I started asking myself before the workshop, like, where are the nerves? Wow. Why don't I feel nervous? Like I'm expecting like there was almost like a hole almost, like this thing that used to be there just doesn't exist anymore. And and being to give, you know, a speech or, you know, whatever the workshop would be with clarity, I couldn't understand what was happening. Wow. And ⁓ Yeah, it's like I was almost looking to be nervous. And it's and it it just didn't exist. Wow. I love that story and that experience because so many people have the same experience with meditation. You know, people kind of maybe w maybe you're interested in meditation as a concept, maybe you've tried some things. A lot of people hear the word meditation and they glaze over because they just automatically discount themselves. Well, I'm I'm too busy, I'm too active. My ADHD would never let me do that. I don't want to try that. That sounds intimidating, or all of these things. And the fact that that's not a part of the practice, the clearing of the mind, the blank slate makes this technique so accessible. And it allows us to really access. You mentioned this word in the beginning of our conversation. You said that TM is like a foundational technique that supports everything else in your life. I'm curious, in this theme of creative intelligence, which can show up in so many different ways, it can show up as the ability to speak calmly and clearly without anxiety. How would you describe why this technique is doing that? It's supporting that foundation. And then maybe you can also define in your words what would creative intelligence mean to you? Well, creative intelligence, from what I understand, is this. Reservoir of clarity, of intelligence that we're able to tap into. It doesn't come from, you know, ⁓ and I'm not discounting therapy because I've also had a therapist some years back. I'm not discounting any of the other techniques that people may follow, but this is something that is innate within us that. We don't always have access to because we're just not aware that it exists. And that's what creative intelligence is to me. It's something that lives within me. It's a calm that is there that TM allows me to connect to. Hmm. So beautifully said. It's already there. It's not something external. Y you don't have to learn how to be a certain way. You're not learning how to now be a public speaker. you're tapping into that which is already inside. And that's that innate creative intelligence. And yeah, I think it's really important to say there are so many beautiful techniques, so many avenues to get to this place from. You know, again, we mentioned Eckhart Tolle a few times, you know, he very famously sort of woke up one day essentially. He had this awakening and realized himself as this source of all ⁓ creativity. And he recognized himself in that consciousness. But not everyone has that experience of just spontaneous awakening. And so we go down these different paths and they all can be valuable. Therapy, incredibly valuable, breath work, mindfulness, incredibly valuable at bringing us back to ourself. And so TM complements us in that. And I think it it creates a very effective and efficient path to get there easily without the work. Absolutely. Absolutely. I I read ⁓ Eckhart Tolely quite a few of his books. And along with his books, there were other spiritual texts that I've read as well. And my question was always, how? How do I get there? How do I do this? You know, I I I understood the words, but no matter how much I tried, those things that they discuss were not developing within me. So the question was always, you know, am I doing something wrong? I needed to know the how. And that's that's what TM gave me access to. I love that. TM is a technique. You know, it's a systematic and mechanical technique. And I say mechanical in the best sense of the word, meaning you don't have to be in the mood, you don't have to be in some special environment, you don't have to be good at any quieting your mind. It's a mechanism that allows us. all, each and every one of us, including a 10-year-old child or someone who's highly, highly stressed or has never done anything spiritual to access that state. And, you know, that that experience of the the how, that's what you learn when you learn this technique. You learn the technique and then you take it with you forever. And I'm so excited, Tamara, that you're becoming a teacher of TM because you're such an inspiring person to talk to. And I know that you're going to be able to Talk about this and teach this in a way that's incredibly accessible for everyone who you touch. And I'm curious, maybe you can talk a little bit about the master's degree that you're getting and then what that process is for becoming a teacher. Certainly. I initially wanted to be a teacher. I mean, that's what I do, that's my craft. And so that's the first thing that I wanted to jump on. But it just didn't seem feasible for me at the time. But, you know, life has a funny way of preparing you for things that you don't even know that you need preparation for. And so when I started with MIU and I learned and still continue to learn the science behind transcendental meditation, it it really put me in a position where I could speak to what my experience were. And even financially, I I didn't know that I would be able to to take it on. But once you've put it out and know that this is what your path is, things start to come to you. Right? I'm at the end of my master's program at MIU and what they offer are what they call specialty classes where you can extend your masters and Becoming a transcendental meditation teacher was one of those things. Unlike a decade ago, becoming a transcendental meditation teacher, you would have to go to the East in some way, shape, or form. But now they provide what they call a profession a professional path where you can do it online and you would complete part of the course at MIU for three weeks. And so I called my program director so that I could let him know that I was interested in taking the professional path. And so as I'm speaking to Dr. Keith Wegman, he ⁓ he said, you know, there's nothing really like being in person for this. And I told him that I understood and you know, I racked my brain on different levels to see how I would be able to do it, but it's not something that I thought that I could take one. And he said it maybe three or four times during our conversation. ⁓ there's any way that you can get to Thailand, I I truly recommend that you, you know, you have that experience. And so ⁓ I got off the Zoom poll with him and I turned around and I was speaking to my assistant principal. And I said that, you know, there's just no way. Like I I wouldn't be able to pay my bills, like ⁓ I would need to be working. And she turned around and looked at me and said, Of course you can do this. She said, You can take a sabbatical. Wow. You can take a sabbatical. And, you know, a major portion of that sabbatical would be, Hey, you know, you would get that income. And it's like the light went off because I hadn't heard of sabbaticals before, but I just I wasn't there. And it was history. I I applied for the sabbatical. I applied for TTC in Thailand and and it's it's been history. I'd leave on September nineteenth. Wow. ⁓ my gosh. You know, ⁓ I didn't I didn't see how it would be able to happen. But again, nature takes its force and Nature is smarter than we are. What a beautiful thing. Yeah, you know, often when you're learning transcendental meditation, they'll use this term, support of nature. And are you getting more support of nature? And you're like, what does that really mean? And but you've described it so many times. And in that story, that is support of nature. You have this desire. Who knows how it's going to happen? Practically can't figure it out, right? Our little intellect can't solve it. But then suddenly. Nature organizes for you. And I think that's one of the most beautiful gifts of this technique. That not only are we feeling more connected to ourselves and our path and what we want to do, but we're having that full support of nature. We're no longer swimming against the current in certain areas. We have that support. And so life feels more fulfilling and smoother. And it doesn't mean we're never stressed again or we never have challenges, but when we're faced with a challenge, perhaps instead of, it's black or white, it's yes or no, it's this or that, suddenly, how wait, there's a third option. There's another angle. And that's so beautiful that you've had that experience. Yeah, it it's I can't think of any other phrase, but it's mind blowing. Mm-hmm. You know, and ⁓ if we just allow ourselves, you know, I I'm from a very religious family. My family are die-hard Catholics. There was a big point for me where it wasn't fulfilling enough. Like there was I was in search for something more. And honestly, practicing TM has deepened my faith within my religion. It hasn't taken its place. It ⁓ it's allowed me to understand it. on on a level that I couldn't get to it before. I could never understand when in the Bible there there's I forget what scripture it is, but it says something along the lines of if if God is able to take care of the birds, you know, what mu what more could He do for you? Right? And for me, When I hear that, animals are so much more in tune with nature. Like they don't think about what they're going to eat, then they're not thinking about, you know, the storms that are outside. They find a way to to to survive. And practicing TM has made that so, so clear to me. You know, again, that support of nature is golden. It's golden. It's it's living according to what is supposed to be and being okay with that. Yes. You know, so ⁓ yeah, it's it's just such a beautiful thing. And I just want to shout it out to everyone because you you want everybody to have that peace of mind. Right. So so many of the people that I work with and this was myself included before my practice with TM. The majority of my time was about worrying about how things were supposed to happen. Yes. And now, you know, the shift is not on the worry, but about just trusting that things will take place in the way that it needs to. Beautiful. Yeah, so powerful. Replacing that worry with trust and that peace and contentment. Beautiful. Well, as we start to end our conversation, and I feel like I could just talk with you forever about this, I sort of two final questions. And firstly, as you finish your master's degree and you are heading to this teacher training, which will be a incredible experience to go through, how do you imagine this will all inform your work with students and you know again teaching TM to students but your work as an educator. I think that I've been living it in a way. the quiet time does not compare to TM in no way, shape, or form. However, because I've had those conversations with my students in terms of the importance of just allowing themselves some silence. Some quiet and how powerful that is. I think that it serves as a segue for me to introduce TM to them because again, this is something that I I've opened that door. And so I feel like it will be a continuation on a much more profound level with the community that I serve. And ⁓ with The younger students, and even because I work with the 21 and Ogres as well, you know, I I always tell them what it is that they're looking for, they it it already exists. Right? So you don't need a piece of paper, you don't need for somebody to say that this is what you should do to become that. You you live it in what you do, you know, and you honor that. And so I I was not a TM teacher, obviously, because I wasn't trained. But I believe that I shared some of those valuable techniques to those students already that again, you know, will allow me to continue on a different path now that I will become a certified TM teacher. Very much so. And it's so clear just being with you that You embody this, you embody this experience, you embody this ability to convey that to people. So I have no doubt that for all of these years you've been exuding that to your students and they're taking so much from it. So I I'm just very excited for you and all of what unfolds in the future. Thank you so much. Now, since this is the Inner Well podcast, we like to ask our guests, what does the inner well mean to you? Their inner well. When I think about a well, I think about a well with water that's deep within. Right? And so the inner well represents our capacity and our ability to go deep within for water that. represents nourishment that we need. Like we cannot live without water, right? And so that's what I that's the first thing that came to mind. And well means to feel good, right? So reaching for that inner depth that lives within us that allows us to feel good. Well good. Yes, right on. That's it. That's it. And we we contain that. So Beautifully said. Love that definition. Tamara, it's been such a pleasure. I really enjoyed our conversation and thanks for being an inspiration. Thank you so much for this opportunity, Emily. This was wonderful. I love talking about TM because I feel like the rest of my days will be dedicated to that. This knowledge, this ability to just Tap within ourselves is so, so very profound, especially in the state that the world is in right now. It just makes me very happy to know that there's so much more to what we see and what the external life provides. There's something so much, so much deeper within us that that allows us to acquire all of the things that we want, all of our desires can be met. So I I just thank you for the opportunity. I love this conversation because I just would love for everybody to be able to live in this as well. Well, I know you will inspire many people to go out and look into this even more if they don't already prompt this. So thank you for being here and we'll see you again very soon. That's a wrap on today's episode of The Inner Well. Please subscribe and leave a review. Your support means the world and helps others find us. And if this conversation added something to your day, don't be shy. Share it with someone it might resonate with. Also, please follow us on social for more between episodes and send in your questions, your stories, or the topics you'd like to explore with us. We genuinely love hearing from you, and this podcast exists because of you. So keep showing up for yourself, and we'll see you next week.