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Outcast · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. You play a play a play thing?
0:23
I do. I play viola. Oh, neat. You play a play
0:26
thing? Yeah, you play a play thing? Yeah. That's
0:28
pretty cool. I don't play a plaything. No. I've
0:31
got no talents for playing. I only work a plaything.
0:34
Not even piano or guitar? Talking about Crank
0:36
and Hog. Talking about Crank and Hog. Yeah. I
0:39
work a plaything. I'm going to also renege. Yeah.
0:43
Absolutely. You've got to have a Nazi punk skill.
0:45
It looks so good. It looks so good, doesn't it?
0:47
It's crisp, yeah. Yeah. I'm a little sad that
0:51
we weren't able to celebrate your birthday with
0:53
fried chicken and sparkling wine. I know. There
0:55
was a part of me that... That's Nick Cage's favorite
0:57
meal. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's his birthday
1:00
meal, right? Birthday for Christmas. What was
1:03
it? For him, champagne. But for us, sparkling
1:06
wine. How far does he go on the champagne? Does
1:09
he get something fancy? I mean... I don't know.
1:11
It's from the Champagne region of France. The
1:13
whole story about it is like his dad would...
1:17
get that like that was like his dad's celebratory
1:20
thing it was like kfc sparkling wine it's funny
1:23
the pairing of like fancy beverage with like
1:26
not fancy chicken i love it so yeah unfortunately
1:29
i was uh sick on my birthday we were gonna watch
1:32
this and eat fried chicken and drink drink some
1:35
prosecco too bad we all missed out yeah yeah
1:38
and then we all got to enjoy this solo yeah unfortunately
1:42
sean you watch this hot and fresh right just
1:45
recently i watched this this morning ah there
1:47
you go yeah sean king uh what hold on wait there's
1:53
no like gender neutral gesture of procrastination
1:59
Yeah, I guess that's right. King of procrastination,
2:00
queen of procrastination. Both would be incorrect.
2:03
So I kind of like Jester. Yeah, you're the Jester.
2:05
You're the ass of procrastination. Sean, you
2:08
put the ass in procrastinate. In my defense.
2:13
Is there a defense for you? I had other shit
2:16
to do. Good defense. To be fair, I did not get
2:21
to it till yesterday either. I was going to look
2:23
up, but then forgot because I really didn't care.
2:27
if this was kind of around the same time as that
2:29
weird uh other set in the quote -unquote Far
2:33
East film starring Jackie Chan. It is. It came
2:38
out the exact same time. Are we talking about
2:40
Rush Hour? You're talking about Dragon Blade.
2:42
Oh, Dragon Blade. Which is a movie I've always
2:46
said I've wanted to see and have never put any
2:50
effort into actually trying to see. I legitimately
2:52
was contemplating watching that and then talking
2:54
mostly about that movie instead of this movie,
2:57
but I didn't get around to watching it. Yeah,
2:59
so it's Jackie Chan, John Cusack, and Adrian
3:01
Brody. was that wild yeah more white savior shit
3:06
yeah well I did so I did I did look up a bit
3:09
this is like an era where like China was trying
3:11
to get into the film industry a bunch so they
3:13
just were churning out these they were like hiring
3:15
a bunch of white actors to show up in these movies
3:19
and just try to boost their their film uh industry
3:22
yeah we gotta get that american market it's kind
3:24
of the equivalent of like hiring good voice actor
3:26
or sorry famous voice actors for kids animated
3:29
films it's oh but i think all these movies made
3:31
like a ton of money in china i don't think this
3:34
movie made any money i don't think so i don't
3:36
know i didn't know i didn't check that but the
3:39
box office it says it was 5 .1 million you know
3:42
what it's gonna do budget 25 million that's not
3:46
good It's going to do so much better than Melania,
3:49
though. Oh, my God. With their, what, $75 million
3:55
budget and $28 million went straight to her for
3:59
her life rights. Yeah, it's nice timing for Brett
4:02
Ratner's name to show up in the Epstein files,
4:05
too. Oh, of course, yeah. For our listeners at
4:08
home, this week we are discussing Outcast with
4:11
Hayden Christensen and Nicolas Cage. Yeah, not
4:14
Dragonblade. Not Dragonblade. Unfortunately.
4:16
Zero Nicolas Cage. Also, welcome back to Cage
4:19
Match, colon, a roundabout way of meeting Nicolas
4:20
Cage. I'm Sean, here with my co -host. I'm Nick.
4:24
And our producer. Nick. Peter, hello. This is
4:27
going to be a great recording. And our special
4:29
guest, Kyle. That's Kyle's voice. Yes, that's
4:33
me. Thanks for being here. Oh, yeah. Thanks for
4:36
inviting me. I'm a big fan of Nicolas Cage. The
4:39
au revoir of... Nicholas Cage. I'm sorry that
4:43
we only got you in for this. Yeah, I know exactly.
4:48
All the good movies left. You came to the finale
4:50
of The Doubleheader, right? I did, yes. Yeah,
4:52
that's awesome. What was it? It was Pig and Raising
4:55
Arizona. Both great films. What a terrific night.
4:57
What was your vote? I think I voted for Pig.
5:01
I'm pretty sure I voted for Pig. I thought it
5:03
was a more... The human response. Interesting
5:06
movie. I think it's illegal for you to ask him
5:07
that. Yeah, you can't ask who I voted for. God.
5:13
Let me look at your voting rolls. Show me your
5:16
asshole. How many spokes you got? No. Starting
5:21
strong. Oh, my God. In this interview clip, that's
5:26
kind of... constantly running on imdb right now
5:30
uh nicholas cage has a ponytail and it's amazing
5:32
oh yeah let's talk about his hair for a second
5:35
because it's bad oh man it's got is it a wig
5:38
it's gotta be of course it's a wig you know like
5:40
they tried to put on like some sort of ancient
5:43
ancient chinese haircut yeah on his head yeah
5:47
he went from full bird hair to like having a
5:51
like dreadlock weave going Now, which which hair
5:54
did you like better? Did you like his Crusades
5:56
hair or his Far East hair? Far East for sure.
5:59
Oh, yeah. The little top knot. Yes. Amongst all
6:02
of it. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. You got to blend
6:05
in, you know, blend in wisdom. His name is White
6:09
Ghost. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. This this movie commits
6:13
my biggest sin in any movie ever with the whole
6:17
like. character's hair never changing over the
6:20
course of many years because Hayden Christensen's
6:22
character has had that hair since he was seven.
6:24
To be fair, that hair rocks. Yeah, that's a tight
6:27
ass haircut. If you're a Nazi. No, that's not
6:31
Nazi hair. Just look at Greg Bovino or whatever
6:34
his name is. That's Nazi hair. That hair is great
6:37
if you're Greg Bovino is what I was about to
6:38
say. No, this is cool. Bovino would never have
6:42
a back part of his hair. Yeah, this is just wide
6:45
faux hawk. Yeah. Yeah. Right in my wheelhouse.
6:50
It's Viking hair. He's got Viking hair. I will
6:53
say I forgot I was watching Hayden Christensen
6:55
in this film because it wasn't he wasn't awful.
6:59
Oh, I was going to say I was acutely aware that
7:02
I was still watching Hayden Christensen because
7:04
he was awful. Yeah, I thought he was extra awful.
7:08
Just Anakin the whole time. The worst parts of
7:11
late stage Anakin just like looking. I wish that
7:15
he had given the weird like sand speech when
7:17
he was professing his love to that lady. You're
7:20
not dry and coarse like sand. I got to say, he
7:23
doesn't talk a lot in this film and I'm OK with
7:25
that. Oh, man, I just made Pete watch the the
7:28
blowjob girl video. Like, how dry do you like
7:32
it? Like sandpaper. Yeah. It's like my mouth
7:36
is full of sand. You've never seen it before.
7:41
I don't know that I've seen that. So we're going
7:42
to watch that right after that. It's an old,
7:45
isn't it called humor? Yeah. Old college humor
7:47
video. Oh, maybe I haven't seen this. It's really
7:48
good. It's Aaron from The Office. Yeah. Kimmy
7:52
Schmidt. Yeah. The Kimmy Schmidt girl. Weird
7:54
fun fact about my younger years. I dated her
7:57
cousin. Nice. Yeah. How dry does she like it?
8:01
Very dry. Yeah. I met her one time when I was
8:05
she was like a couple of years older than I am.
8:07
So I was 16 and she was 19 or something like
8:10
that. Yeah. So my first girlfriend, second girlfriend
8:14
in high school was a part of like weird debutante
8:17
bullshit. Oh, shit. Yeah. Weird. Kansas City
8:21
is a weird place, man. Yeah. Never been. I can
8:23
say I've never been to a debutante ball. Not
8:26
yet. Yeah, that's true. Not yet. That's how you're
8:29
going to find that bride. Can we get Kyle to
8:32
introduce himself? Oh, yeah. Who the fuck are
8:34
you? Why the fuck are you here? My name's Kyle.
8:38
I know Peter through his wife, playing a lot
8:41
of music together, and we've hung out a bunch.
8:43
I went to the last, the doubleheader thing. That's
8:47
honestly how the best people know Peter. Everyone
8:51
else is just shitbags like Sean and I. I'm an
8:55
accountant for a production company down in Hollywood.
8:59
They make movie trailers. That's fucking awesome.
9:01
Hell yeah. I mean, I don't really see the stuff.
9:06
Yeah. I don't watch the numbers. I mean, I see
9:08
the numbers, but I don't really see it. I see
9:11
people complain at me. Do you ever watch a trailer
9:14
and you're like, this costs that much? Yes. Are
9:17
you kidding me? Yeah. Well, and I worked in marketing
9:20
before, just like advertising for many years.
9:23
So I've just seen so much. And now, even though
9:26
I wasn't working in that space creatively, I've
9:29
just seen so much good stuff and really, really
9:32
bad, bad stuff. There's only the barest thread
9:36
of connection in this one. I have a buddy who
9:39
worked in the porn industry similarly -ish. He
9:43
was the numbers guy? He did data entry. Was he
9:47
the guy who drove the bang bus? No, he tracked
9:50
STDs. oh that's a good job i mean that's an important
9:55
job so he just did data entry on like when different
9:58
actors and actresses got like stds and treatments
10:01
and things like that and but like through his
10:04
work he was like yeah i get i can just like take
10:07
as much porn home as i want and it's it's kind
10:11
of i don't know i think it's run its course but
10:14
then when i was visiting his place i was like
10:15
oh you got one of those couches it's got a little
10:17
like armrest oh there's a secret handle oh no
10:19
there's just tissues and lotion i found your
10:22
spank spank tank or whatever uh it was just in
10:26
his living room yeah well he lived by himself
10:28
oh so i mean still in his living room excuse
10:31
yeah come on you gotta tuck it away a little
10:34
better yeah i mean it wasn't a hidden compartment
10:36
in the couch i'm just nosy so you did go looking
10:40
for it yeah i was like oh you're in the porn
10:42
industry yeah where's the good stuff So sorry,
10:47
I didn't mean to interrupt your story for my
10:49
terrible story. Okay, so the outline of this
10:53
movie, Outcast, I don't even remember the characters'
10:56
names. Jacob is Hayden Christensen. How often
11:01
do they say them? They say Jacob quite a few
11:03
times. I think he says Galane once to Nick Cage.
11:07
He says it twice. He does say it when he meets
11:10
him. I do remember that part. I never remembered
11:13
either of their names. And then, like, that's
11:15
probably pretty unimportant to the plot of the
11:17
story. White Ghost and White Monkey. Yeah, that's
11:20
what I called them. Right. And then there's Prince
11:23
Zhao and Princess Leon. And then... prince shing
11:27
was the dick bag which i assumed she'd have some
11:31
type of combat capabilities considering the king
11:34
was all like i entrust you to protect your brother
11:36
yeah and then she immediately gets a white guy
11:39
to do her fighting for her yeah well she protected
11:42
him through common sense because he was probably
11:45
not very bright he seemed a little a little dim
11:48
he always wanted to jump into the action that
11:50
wasn't that wasn't good for him he's like he's
11:51
brave yeah well every 12 year old's brave He
11:56
also got poisoned in that in that in the from
11:58
that one caravan lady. Oh, yeah. It's just like,
12:01
what are you drinking tea from this random lady
12:05
you just met? Jeez. Yes. It's not going to be
12:08
great. Had a pretty strong opium addiction. Yeah.
12:10
OK, so which is cool. Hayden Christensen and
12:14
Nicolas Cage are crusaders. I think that it opened
12:17
the film opens with them crusading somewhere
12:19
in the Middle East, basically. And Hayden Christensen
12:22
is like killing a bunch of people. And Nicolas
12:26
Cage is pissed. And he leaves. He wants to hang
12:30
it up. He wants to hang it up. He's pissed. I
12:32
was pretty impressed. I don't know. I was kind
12:37
of weirded out that he just kept following Hayden
12:39
Christensen. It's like, why are we killing people?
12:41
He's like, I'm just going to walk along behind
12:42
you and watch you kill people and silently judge.
12:45
It's like, what is even your relationship at
12:47
this point? It's like, oh, yeah, I figured at
12:49
the beginning I did write this note that it seems
12:51
like he's some kind of mentor. Or maybe a teacher
12:54
or something. I don't know. And that's all the
12:57
backstory you're going to get. Yeah, pretty much.
13:00
Kind of. Then the scene switches to three years
13:03
later in the Far East. I always love that when
13:06
they describe. anywhere in east asia it's the
13:09
far east exactly it's great the orient i'm going
13:14
to africa yeah i wish they would have just said
13:18
that the orient we've watched a couple of there's
13:22
we've watched two movies where nicholas cage
13:24
is a crusader now yeah two crusader uh season
13:28
of the witch yeah season of the witch but that
13:30
had ron perlman i was hoping for another mushroom
13:32
another toad helmet They go to the Far East.
13:36
And then I at this point, I didn't realize you
13:39
wouldn't see Nicolas Cage again for like an hour.
13:42
It's a long time. It's like a full hour. And
13:46
I was like, I thought this and I kind of checked
13:49
out. I had to watch this movie twice because
13:51
I kind of checked out while he was not on the
13:53
screen. Yeah. You joined the podcast for the
13:56
weird parts of Nick Cage's career. Yeah. Yeah.
13:59
But oh, but I bet he got paid a great amount
14:01
of money for this movie. to not be in it for
14:04
that long. At least $5 million. At least $5 million.
14:07
Right, exactly. Thank you, Sean. I would totally
14:09
do. Yeah. They show this old emperor, and he's
14:14
dying, apparently, from something. He didn't
14:18
look like he was dying. Yeah, he actually looked
14:19
pretty good. Pretty slow death. Yeah. He chooses
14:23
his younger son, though, who's like this timid
14:26
kind of emotional boy. Book boy. uh as the emperor
14:31
uh which is gonna piss off his older son who's
14:34
like this military commander and a dick and a
14:36
dick um he comes uh he gets a report that his
14:41
his older son is coming and he sends off his
14:44
uh daughter and the younger son away with this
14:49
seal i guess it's just yeah the royal seal yeah
14:52
it's like you're the emperor now if you have
14:54
this thing could you think that could be like
14:56
anybody anybody has that skill because look i'm
14:59
a peasant i'm now the emperor look at this tight
15:02
-ass seal i guess it's kind of like touching
15:04
tongues that makes it official it's true they
15:07
go they they escape and uh the older son comes
15:10
in and he murders the dad right I did make this
15:16
note. As they escape, there's this unnamed badass
15:20
monk. Monk was tight. That was awesome. He kicked
15:23
the shit out of them. And I love that he didn't
15:25
have a weapon. He didn't kill any of them. That's
15:27
true. He just beat the shit out of them. He should
15:29
have just sent the monk with him. Yeah, and then
15:31
he just got overwhelmed, which is kind of sad.
15:34
I kind of wish there was just more him. Yeah,
15:36
that would be cool. Let's see. They make it to
15:39
a tavern inn of some sort where you first meet...
15:44
hayden christianson character jacob yeah really
15:47
dumb hat uh at least it wasn't one of the like
15:50
uh the rice farmer hat yeah no that would have
15:54
been that would have been yeah it's definitely
15:56
a western hat yeah uh but he's he's in there
16:00
doing opium getting high on opium trying to deal
16:03
with his ptsd you know men will do anything but
16:07
go to therapy you know they'll go to the far
16:09
east just go to the far east get some opium baby
16:12
This movie taught me that people used to chew
16:15
opium. You didn't have to smoke it. You could
16:17
just chew it. Oh. That's what he was doing. He
16:20
was just like breaking off chunks and chewing
16:22
it. It looked kind of like black tar heroin.
16:24
Yeah. Yeah. It's usually like opium, like resin.
16:28
Oh. I did some reading. I was more interested
16:31
in how they were getting high in this movie.
16:34
Yeah. Fair enough. So he goes to the tavern.
16:37
The princess and the younger boy emperor. show
16:42
up to the tavern and they try to enlist him to
16:47
rescue immediately the fucking prince gets captured
16:51
because he's a dipshit yeah he's probably the
16:54
most known person in the in the country did they
16:57
not think about costuming well and i i had a
17:00
serious question at this point why not change
17:02
your your haircut yeah or your clothes or your
17:05
clothes any type of like face cover when they're
17:08
riding through the desert trying to get into
17:09
a city and hayden christian hides his face the
17:12
princess hides her face fucking prince the one
17:15
they're trying to fucking murder no hat not just
17:18
looks like a prince yeah but why would you want
17:20
to blend in with the peasantry gross they're
17:23
a bunch of fucking pores yeah ew uh hayden christian
17:29
He while he rescues them first from some the
17:32
Blackguard. Oh, yeah. OK, let's pause here for
17:34
a second, because who is your favorite Blackguard
17:36
character? Oh, the guy who quickly doesn't have
17:40
any eyes. Yeah, I like him. I like the guy with
17:48
the huge mace. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I had
17:53
a favorite. They were all very samey for me.
17:56
Yeah. uh the one i really liked in the final
17:59
scene when nick cage's fight not nick cage when
18:01
hayden christiansen's fighting like the usurper
18:04
emperor there's one blackguard in the background
18:07
who's clearly a woman in armor that's way too
18:10
big for her awesome i missed that the final extra
18:15
hired yeah yeah it's like nobody else wanted
18:18
to be in this film it just looked like a child
18:20
like a child in like in the armor it was just
18:23
it really stood out to me oh that's terrific
18:26
I'm going to have to rewatch this. I feel like
18:28
I need to rewatch it because I, I paid attention
18:30
and I missed, I feel like I missed so much like
18:32
little details, little interesting details like
18:34
that. So they go, he leaves, he leaves them there.
18:40
He's like, I don't want to help you. And then
18:42
I kind of, maybe I tuned out or I, I don't know
18:45
what happened. Yeah. But they end up in near
18:48
a river village and they're saving this girl
18:52
who. who i don't think i think she speaks once
18:55
here and then i don't remember her saying another
18:57
word except when they're getting kidnapped later
19:00
but she like becomes just an incidental character
19:03
yeah she's background she fills out yeah and
19:05
i was like when i first saw it i was like oh
19:07
she's gonna become the prince's little friend
19:10
maybe i don't know but that didn't happen future
19:14
empress yeah i don't know um casual town girl
19:18
also this is the scene where where hayden christian
19:20
shows off his warrior skills with a z uh where
19:25
he shoots he shoots a bow at this black guard
19:29
person has kidnapped the girl and he shoots he
19:32
shoots him from really far away as he's moving
19:35
and as i saw that i was like is that possible
19:38
that just seems so it's uh incredibly very fantasized
19:45
yeah uh the prince makes that like real boner
19:48
of a shot yeah he's like no let me he like restrings
19:52
a whole nother bow or whatever it's like they're
19:55
also also the the princess and the the young
19:59
son are like oh my gosh like so amazing it's
20:02
like wouldn't you think there'd be like warriors
20:03
in there their cadre who are just as good Or
20:07
better. I do like when he hits the guy, the horse
20:10
goes like, you know, ass over tea kettle. And
20:13
then the girl is drowning in all of six inches
20:16
of water. What drove me crazy about that scene
20:21
is then they leave and they don't take the fucking
20:23
horse. And then all of a sudden in the next scene,
20:26
they have like four goddamn horses. I mean, horses
20:29
are there. You know, there's all over the place.
20:31
They grow on trees. They jump on them. Yeah,
20:33
exactly. With a saddle. So the scene changes.
20:38
Now they're in a desert. I thought that was pretty
20:40
quick. Yeah, they could have. They could have
20:43
had a little bit more. Well, you know, China
20:45
is not that big of a country. All these different
20:48
biomes are just right next to each other. You
20:50
just move through. Yeah, it's like Minecraft.
20:52
Minecraft. Yeah. So they're now in a desert and
20:55
they're heading towards this this what seems
20:57
like a bandit. town or something yeah it's some
21:00
like off the like cb okay yeah no one's gonna
21:04
look for the prince in a shithole town yeah but
21:07
they bribe this caravan to to take them along
21:10
which okay i love how they that actress has all
21:15
of two lines that aren't overdubbed oh yeah that's
21:18
another thing to talk about there's so many lines
21:19
in this movie that are that are overdubbed that's
21:22
awful like it seems like most of hayden christiansen's
21:26
lines or dialogue is is overdone i think it is
21:29
yeah i mean i wouldn't be surprised if they had
21:31
to be like hayden we need to take you back into
21:33
the studio we'll do some fucking looping let's
21:35
let's can you enunciate like he was high on opium
21:40
though yeah oh yeah he was mumbling the whole
21:42
time we're just gonna put one shot on film but
21:45
we're gonna spend Why is it that when you have
21:49
a foreign language situation, every English speaking
21:52
person is British English? It's the proper English.
21:56
Well, because it's also old timey. Yeah, you
22:00
got to. Yeah, it just always pisses me off. Can
22:02
you imagine them speaking like in a really thick
22:04
southern accent, though? Well, I mean, Nick Cage
22:07
kind of does. What was Cage's accent in this?
22:11
I want Nicolas Cage to do Boston Cop in this
22:13
movie. Oh, yeah. I mean, it would have made as
22:15
much sense as anything else because he's sort
22:17
of like this British thing where it's like, we
22:19
don't have to do this anymore. Let's go up. Yeah.
22:23
I felt like he was trying to go Scottish. Like,
22:26
was this his attempt at a Scottish accent? I
22:28
don't fucking know. It was so bad. I would love
22:30
to hear his preparation for this. If he just
22:33
like, I'm just going to watch some some other
22:35
films and like imitate this. kind of i think
22:38
his preparation for this was he had to be on
22:40
set for three days yeah that's he got on an airplane
22:43
he did say in an interview is three weeks on
22:46
site oh i don't know what he was doing out there
22:49
that's a cool trip to china though opium that
22:51
does sound pretty nice yeah opium you gotta get
22:53
into character there were there were that's something
22:55
i did like about the movie the the scenes the
22:58
like the scenery was really beautiful like it's
23:00
very beautiful visually this movie is great the
23:03
costuming the like all all the visual stuff was
23:06
great yeah cinematography was good you know i
23:09
was thinking about the scenery a lot because
23:10
i was uh this movie made me think a lot of season
23:13
of the witch which is just another it's got really
23:16
good sets and scenery but it's so realistic that
23:21
it just kind of looks drab and gray and is not
23:23
interesting to look at realistic until the cg
23:26
comes in oh god the cg in that movie is so bad
23:29
but they did the practical effects on uh christopher
23:32
lee that looked gnarly i'm talking about setting
23:34
not like yeah yeah the cg part sucked but not
23:37
weird but i'm just talking about like you film
23:41
something that looks so real that it just kind
23:43
of drab and uninteresting whereas you film something
23:45
like this where everything's a little the colors
23:46
and everything's punched up a little bit and
23:49
it's much more interesting to look at and your
23:50
brain is like this is real Well, that's the difference
23:53
between like Europe and the Far East. Europe
23:55
is just wet and dark and gray. Yeah. And everything
23:59
that happens like it never rains in China. I'm
24:02
pretty sure of that. I did research. Yeah. Oh,
24:07
we're getting back to cage. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's
24:10
true. Yeah. We're all see where we're almost
24:12
there. So they go they go to the city. They sit
24:15
down. They do get stopped at the city gates.
24:17
The woman bribes them. I thought that was pretty
24:20
easy. And they're like real cops, basically.
24:24
You mean corruptible? Yeah, corruptible. Let's
24:28
see. This is where I said maybe this is a thin
24:31
blue line podcast, Kyle. Sorry, I didn't know
24:34
that. We love police here. Yeah, this is a cab.
24:39
All cops are beautiful. Oh, OK. I got you. I
24:41
got you. This is where I said, like, maybe they
24:43
should cut their cut his fucking hair because
24:45
the boy is not covering up at all. And it's also
24:48
where I said so. Yeah, they go to this. tea house
24:51
or whatever and this is where i said like maybe
24:53
don't be so trusting of this woman you just met
24:55
geez you know they took some drug like more opium
24:59
and yeah and took this drink some tea and then
25:02
obviously was drugged and then this is where
25:04
this is where nicholas cage comes in yeah so
25:07
the prince and the princess get kidnapped yes
25:10
and then unkidnapped no they get away yeah the
25:14
princess is like hey we gotta go they're fucking
25:17
coming for us and then hayden christiansen wakes
25:19
up and he's all like tied up or whatever and
25:22
then he takes on like what 15 20 different like
25:27
chinese soldiers and like mercenaries and he
25:30
like slices some dude's sword in half oh dude
25:32
he went on a fucking tear like i was like oh
25:35
my god are you fucking kidding me there's one
25:37
fucking crusader i mean he's a white guy though
25:41
yeah it's true he's got big white energy he's
25:43
got the power of the white man he just cleaved
25:47
through those swords Both Hayden Christiansen
25:49
and Nick Cage's fight scenes gave me really like,
25:53
nah, I have anti -sword shielding. Well, if there's
25:57
anything I've learned from my life in construction,
26:00
it's Chinese metal is inferior. So this is, yeah,
26:06
this is the reappearance of Cage. Who is the
26:09
actual white ghost? Yeah, the actual white ghost.
26:12
And now they're in a... Yeah, it's like a whole
26:15
cave system. It's like a bandit bolt hole. I
26:19
wouldn't call it an outlaw because he doesn't
26:20
want to be called that. That's right. It's like
26:22
an outlaw cave. Yeah. Sort of beautiful moment
26:24
where Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen sort
26:27
of, there's the scene that shows Nicolas Cage
26:29
teaching Hayden how to shoot a bow. That was
26:33
much earlier in the movie. It was much earlier.
26:36
Paralleled by Hayden Christensen teaching the
26:38
prince. Right, that's true. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:40
uh and that's where we see that first scene yeah
26:43
sorry uh and then um they kind of reconcile it
26:49
seems uh you know i think uh what do you say
26:51
he said he didn't kill any children that's kind
26:54
of all he needed i guess he's like oh you didn't
26:56
kill any kids okay oh yeah in the beginning cage
27:00
walked in after hayden christiansen had this
27:03
whole like interaction inside like back in the
27:06
the the middle east not the far east where you
27:10
know he went into this like uh like a mosque
27:12
or something and all the women and children were
27:14
there but like uh the the lady killed all the
27:18
kids and then like killed herself or something
27:20
and then nicholas cage showed up and thought
27:22
that hayne christiansen killed all the kids so
27:24
to be fair he did kill all the younglings in
27:27
that other movie That's true. He did kill a lot
27:29
of younglings. There's precedent. There's precedent.
27:31
Yeah. Yeah. Reason to be concerned. And it's
27:34
like, you know, oh, you didn't you. You may have
27:37
killed all these other people that you were invading,
27:39
but, you know, you didn't kill any kids. So that's
27:41
good. Yeah. That means your heart is pure. Yeah.
27:44
And then they get reports. There's some like
27:47
a little bit of training scenes. I'll be honest.
27:50
I was cooking while this was going on. So I may
27:52
have missed. What did you make? I made dumplings.
27:55
Oh, fantastic. I do have a question for the room
27:57
about when Nicolas Cage first shows up here and
28:01
the final third of the film. That snake he's
28:04
holding, you think he brought that from home?
28:06
Which one? Left snake or right snake? Which snake,
28:09
Sean? Both snakes. Either snake. Is he a snake
28:12
wrangler, actually? I have no fucking clue. I
28:15
hope so. He used to own, I've talked about this
28:18
a few times, he used to own like a King Cobra.
28:21
Oh. But he got complaints from his neighbors
28:24
and had to get rid of it because it kept getting
28:26
out. So not like a good snake. Yeah, yeah. Oh,
28:30
well, one of the things he talked about in some
28:32
like. special feature stuff that i watched was
28:35
he was talking about this film and he was talking
28:36
about the director and he was like you know giving
28:38
accolades to the director and he was like oh
28:40
yeah whose name is also nick he's like nick it
28:43
was so nice to work with nick it's like uh nice
28:45
to work with somebody who lets you like do these
28:47
things and like he gives me the freedom to do
28:50
the sort of things that like i i love to do like
28:53
like if i come on stage i'm like you know what
28:55
i really think this character needs like two
28:57
snakes i need to be holding two snakes He just
29:00
like makes it happen. It's like, so Nicolas Cage
29:03
just showed up when he's like, you know what?
29:04
You know what? This character right now, he needs
29:07
to be holding two snakes. Double fist and snakes.
29:10
Yeah, like we respect your art. Yeah, and they're
29:13
like, I don't know. We already got Nicolas Cage.
29:15
Just fucking give him the snakes. My only note
29:18
was Snake Man. Yeah, can we just ship in some
29:20
snakes? In my work, I have worked with, well.
29:24
I have not personally, but I've, yeah, I've had
29:27
to pay snake people and like, and they always
29:30
have people. Yeah. Snake people. They always
29:32
have great company names too. They're always
29:35
like some kind of pun on like snake Wrangler,
29:38
whatever, you know, mine would just be, you can
29:42
do that. All right. The movie. So they, at this
29:50
point they, they receive word that. The black
29:53
art is coming with the older prince. Yeah. And
29:56
they're going to they're going to fuck him up.
29:59
And so they start preparing. This is this is
30:02
a great point for a montage making bombs. Oh,
30:05
hell yeah. Preparing arrows and everything, getting
30:07
everybody ready. I do love a good montage. And
30:10
then the fight starts, which is basically the
30:12
last 20, 30, 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. I really
30:16
couldn't say much about that. Those scenes, aside
30:19
from that, Nicolas Cage's wife. in his arms.
30:23
Oh, his mute wife? His mute wife. I knew she
30:26
was going to die from the moment she didn't talk.
30:28
I was like, oh, you don't get lines? Sorry. Sorry,
30:31
lady. I'm assuming she was some producer's wife.
30:34
Yeah, probably. I liked the cave trap. That was
30:38
tight. Oh, yeah. The spike thing. I love a good
30:41
trap. Give me a trap in any movie. That's so
30:43
fun. Oh, yeah. There needs to be more. Something
30:45
that's swinging down and stabbing somebody. We
30:47
need more Home Alone -esque movies. Totally.
30:49
Really. They should really just remake that movie.
30:51
But violent. Yeah. We need people to get hurt.
30:55
When is that public domain? Exactly. So they
30:59
fight. She gets not blown up. Just I think the
31:02
bomb goes off, which I couldn't tell. It seemed
31:05
like the bomb went off in front in front of Nicolas
31:08
Cage. I was I don't know. I think she put herself
31:11
between him and the bomb. Like she like swung
31:14
around him or something. I don't know. She just
31:17
took the shrapnel. She was there for the bits.
31:20
Yeah, at this point, Nick Cage goes out to get
31:22
revenge and give Hayden Christensen and the prince
31:24
a chance to escape. Hayden Christensen goes and
31:27
gets them. Nick Cage has a cool fight where he
31:30
just kills a bunch of people and gets stabbed
31:32
a bunch, but doesn't go down. And then when all
31:35
is said and done, Hayden Christensen and the
31:37
prince and the princess just walk out and say
31:41
hi to everybody. He doesn't even give them time
31:43
to escape. They do have time to escape. They
31:46
just went out the front door. yeah and then you
31:50
know so he dies which you know that was that
31:52
was sad uh to see yeah but uh yeah and like you
31:56
said especially a guy with such a sweet ass eye
31:57
scar oh yeah oh yeah he did open his eye several
32:01
times i did notice that like there were several
32:04
times where it was a little bit of a close -up
32:05
on his face and his eye would open and it's like
32:07
your eye is clearly not damned just put an eye
32:10
patch on my man yeah no no eye patches don't
32:12
go well for people maybe super glue it It's just
32:15
some kind of prosthetic. Some of us can't wink.
32:19
You don't need to wink. You just need to leave
32:20
it closed. That's the that's the issue. Well,
32:23
and then Hayden kills Shing in a battle with
32:27
this with a little dagger. Oh, yeah. Little dagger.
32:30
But also the princess gets stabbed, too. I think.
32:34
But in like a tender part that didn't kill her.
32:37
Yes, exactly. Oh, yeah. Everyone else survives.
32:39
All the all the they all look like they die.
32:41
All the good people. No, this this bothers me
32:44
because. sister gets run through trying to kill
32:46
shane hayden christiansen shot twice and also
32:50
like goes down and you have this like they say
32:53
they love each other and they both kind of like
32:55
do the final breath and like head tilt to the
32:57
side hard cut to the next day and they're fine
33:00
but it's also the end of the movie so it doesn't
33:02
matter oh yeah it's like three days later whatever
33:04
something like that yeah and then they're they're
33:05
they're there's a they're meeting the generals
33:07
that are in who know all support yeah yeah well
33:10
yeah they just i think they would have supported
33:12
who again Would they support anyone who has...
33:15
If Hayden Christensen had that fucking seal,
33:17
would he be the emperor? He's the emperor, probably.
33:19
That would have been amazing if that happened.
33:21
Yeah. They go, they crown the little boy, and
33:26
then... Then Haya plays. Yeah, Leon and Hayden
33:32
Christensen have a little sweet moment, and then
33:33
he just peaces out. He just leaves. And then
33:35
the camera just kind of goes like... Yeah, and
33:37
then the credits. Yeah, and I was like, I mean...
33:41
that's kind of nice that they did not end up
33:43
together. Yeah. He's like, he's got, he's a Ronin.
33:45
You can't have interracial relationships. That's
33:47
just not okay. That ending stinks of test screening.
33:51
Didn't like the fact that they die. So they're
33:53
just like, we're just going to film like an extra
33:55
two minutes. That's probably true. Well, cause
34:00
at the end of the scene where they do die, cause
34:01
they do fucking die. The one general who's like
34:04
known the whole time is just like, you know,
34:06
bows down to the Prince credits there. That's
34:09
the end of the movie. Well, they probably just
34:11
kind of like painted themselves into a corner.
34:13
They're like, oh, man, this is going to look
34:15
so good. It's going to feel so good during the
34:17
scene. And they're like, oh, man, we shot this
34:20
great death. But we clearly need them to end
34:23
happily. Like it was written to end happy. I
34:27
mean, the happiness is that Zhao becomes a good
34:29
emperor. Yeah, sure. Well, in theory. In theory.
34:32
Or he's like, wait, military power is amazing.
34:35
I got to go subjugate these other kingdoms. Yeah,
34:38
I learned how to bow. Yeah. And that's the end
34:43
of the film. I did have some other notes, some
34:45
fun notes. The jump cuts. We didn't talk about
34:49
that, but there's so many. It felt like I said
34:54
this to you earlier. It felt like Saving Private
34:55
Ryan like the whole time. And there was a couple
34:58
of scenes that really didn't need it because
34:59
it was there was one scene where he's rowing
35:01
a boat. Right. And there's like a couple of jump
35:03
cuts. I was like. This isn't necessary. Just
35:06
show him rowing the boat. You can just row the
35:09
boat. I could be fine with not seeing him row
35:10
the boat. Yeah, exactly. It could be him coming
35:12
out of the boat. I wrote down my favorite quote
35:14
from Nicolas Cage, of course. Oh, please. Blackguards
35:17
are as thick as flies on a farting goat's ass.
35:20
An excellent quote. It was a great quote. Sean,
35:23
did you have a favorite quote? I do have a favorite
35:25
quote. All lands burn, Jacob. You know that better
35:29
than anyone. I have to take a piss. That was
35:32
another good one. And then one last thing. Shing
35:36
was ripped. Oh, that was one where he took his
35:39
shirt off and I was like, okay. All right, Shing.
35:42
Lifestyle of military action. I mean, yeah, he
35:45
had some. I mean, Mace guy was probably like
35:47
pretty soft body, but he's strong. Yeah. Nick,
35:51
did you have a favorite quote? No, just every
35:53
time they did opium was my favorite. I want that.
35:57
Yeah, it wasn't a quote. It was mostly like,
35:59
oh, I love drugs. Drugs are cool. drugs make
36:02
everybody look cool i liked when nick cage met
36:04
the the prince and he just goes what are you
36:06
10 which is exactly how i feel about meeting
36:09
anybody under like 30 at this point yeah the
36:12
only other one i liked was uh he said you're
36:15
lucky my wife likes you where's my wine yeah
36:20
i was thinking about this movie a lot and i was
36:22
like oh Does it have the things that I really
36:25
love in life? And you just reminded me. And drugs.
36:28
It has a boat chase. And I love a boat chase.
36:32
It's very slow. Yes. Well, I mean, they were
36:35
slow, but somehow Hayden Christensen caught up
36:38
after they had like a 10 minute. It's those strong
36:41
white muscles. Big white muscles. He can row
36:44
a small Asian boat like nobody's business. Well
36:47
-crafted boats. Yeah. Those are cool boats. They're
36:49
cool looking boats. Yeah. Yeah, I like them.
36:51
But I love a good boat chase. That's good. I
36:53
did appreciate when the princess and prince were
36:55
like running away and they were getting a boat.
36:57
They had the wherewithal to like, let's just
36:59
untie all the other boats so they float away.
37:01
Yeah, I like when when they're crafty. That's
37:03
a nice, nice aspect. That's probably why everybody
37:06
caught up, though, because they spent so much
37:07
time diligently untying knots that those people
37:10
just walked out in the six inches of water and
37:12
got the boat. So that would have been a great
37:14
scene if they were rowing really furiously. And
37:17
then the black guard is just like walking up
37:19
to them, just running at them. Hey, stop. So
37:24
this movie wants you to care about these characters
37:27
so much without actually giving you any reason
37:29
to care about them other than like sentimental,
37:31
like. flashbacks that mean nothing yeah you're
37:35
told to care for them and so that's the expectation
37:38
that you just will it's like oh he's the nice
37:40
one but there's no like actual narrative reason
37:42
or like any actual character quality that you're
37:45
that you do like about these people other than
37:47
like you're told to and it's just so that's why
37:49
you hire nicholas cage that's right yeah and
37:51
hayden christensen apparently so i think this
37:54
movie would be better At the end, if after the
37:58
credits, there was a post -credit scene and it's
38:00
just a pile of bodies. And then that monk from
38:03
the beginning just like shoots out. Yeah, yeah,
38:07
yeah. Would he be a good guy or a bad guy? Oh,
38:09
he protected against the Blackguard. Yeah. I
38:12
would. They need a movie of just him. I know.
38:15
That guy was cool. This movie's like. like pretty
38:19
empirically bad, but I had a pretty good time
38:21
with it. And one of the things that I, that I
38:23
actually enjoyed was the fight choreography.
38:25
I thought it was like, not bad. Yeah. And luckily
38:28
the film is just fights and segues into fights.
38:32
Exactly. That's all it is. It's like, Hey, we're
38:34
going to set up a scene for the next fight scene.
38:36
My only complaint about the fights. It's got
38:38
that very 2010 style, like, like camera right
38:42
up in the fight, shaky cam. So you can't really
38:44
appreciate the choreography that much, but the
38:47
fights are good. It's also just there to hide
38:50
the choreography. That's true. A film like this
38:53
does not pay a very high -end choreographer.
38:58
Hayden Christensen might have those lightsaber
39:00
skills, which could translate to a long sword,
39:03
but it's Nicolas Cage still. When I was in high
39:08
school, I went to this fairly expensive... not
39:14
real school where it was like mostly art school
39:17
but like we also learned history i guess did
39:21
i know was it like a montessori thing no i mean
39:24
it was just like a college prep school in kansas
39:26
city and um my my buddy peter and i we were in
39:29
gym class together in gym class like our wait
39:32
peter and peter yeah okay my two years from kansas
39:35
city yeah did one of you have to go by pete uh
39:38
no we were just i was the other peter because
39:40
he had gone to the the prep like grade school
39:43
going into it so he had pre -established he had
39:46
dibs yeah he had dibs so the gym class you could
39:50
like go and do stuff but they also didn't care
39:54
if you didn't do stuff as long as it was loosely
39:57
like athletic active yeah so they had fencing
40:01
foils and they had like the high jump mats and
40:05
all the shit that would be out on the track so
40:06
he and i just spent like i don't know probably
40:09
a full fucking year doing like fencing choreography
40:12
and like pratfalls and like jumps you jump at
40:15
this point i'm gonna give you a clue it's actually
40:17
really fucking fun were we any good at it no
40:20
but it makes me always like think about choreography
40:24
and be like nice there was that could have been
40:27
me there was a hot minute in uh college it was
40:30
around was it around the time i think it was
40:32
around the time that we were doing like three
40:34
musketeers that a lot of my classmates and stuff
40:38
got really into fight choreography and this and
40:41
that it's like every time we're at a party they're
40:43
fucking around with this shit and it's like stagehand
40:46
i didn't give a shit this isn't my thing i'm
40:48
there to get drunk and do drugs and i did oh
40:51
yeah oh man once um but uh yeah it was just so
40:57
annoying to just always have like seven people
41:00
at a party like doing like fake slaps and like
41:03
busting out their fucking foils or whatever it's
41:08
like oh my god i'm bringing over a bunch of bottles
41:10
of sugar glass guys i'm trying to get laid like
41:13
i did think for a movie in china there would
41:17
be more like martial arts like real martial arts
41:20
i didn't i didn't think they would just be like
41:22
no no no there was definitely more martial arts
41:26
and jujitsu yeah god i mean it's in the name
41:29
but it is in the name that one also had a cool
41:32
alien was the alien cool I don't know. He was
41:36
an alien. It was probably cooler than most of
41:38
that movie. You know what Jujitsu had that this
41:40
movie doesn't have? A first person sequence.
41:43
Oh, yeah. First person running along the wall.
41:46
God, fuck that movie. What is this movie? Jujitsu
41:50
is the first movie that we watched. So it was
41:51
Jujitsu versus Face Off. Yeah, it was basically
41:54
doomed to fail. But yeah, it's it's like bad
41:57
CGI. 2016 kind of nick cage just like being a
42:02
guy who shows up yeah also white savior ish in
42:05
that one yeah yeah i did appreciate this movie
42:08
was there was not a lot of cgi i didn't really
42:10
notice much at all yeah yeah it seemed actually
42:13
fairly practical the only cgi i noticed was the
42:16
siege was uh the cgi fire at times but that's
42:19
it sure yeah okay so where we haven't done this
42:23
ranking in a while but like where would you put
42:25
this on like the cage matrix of Good movie, good
42:28
acting, bad movie, bad acting. Quadrant. Bad,
42:33
bad. I knew where you were going. I feel like
42:37
it's hard because he's not he's just not in it
42:39
long enough. That's never stopped us. Yeah. I
42:44
mean, I'm trying to think about it in the lens
42:47
of maybe of the time. Of the time. You know,
42:52
in the early 2000s, because there was a ton of
42:53
movies like this, I feel. Yeah, I probably if
42:57
I was this was a vibe for sure. Yeah, if I was
43:00
a kid and I went to see this, I probably would
43:02
have liked it because I was an idiot. What are
43:05
you, 10? What are you, 10? Yeah, I probably would
43:08
have liked it. I can't say it's like really a
43:11
terrible movie because there's a lot of good
43:14
things about it. I would put it in the middle
43:16
smack dab in the middle. Yeah. Yeah, it's a solid
43:19
C plus for me. Nick Cage's character. Did he
43:23
do it well? I don't know, but he was there. He
43:27
had two snakes. He had two snakes. He had a cool
43:30
dreadlock topknot at one point. Some great lines.
43:33
Yeah, great lines. Banger of a script. I don't
43:37
know why this didn't get a Tony. Oh, there was
43:40
a stage adaptation, by the way. Outcast the musical.
43:46
That was actually funny. I get one off every
43:49
once in a while. Yeah, I think it was a good
43:51
C plus. Cage, maybe a C. But he had snakes. A
43:55
snake arms brings it up to a good B minus. Yeah.
43:58
So I felt good about it. I feel like I went into
44:02
this expecting it to be total shit. Yeah. And
44:05
it was only like a little bit of a turd. Yeah.
44:07
It is like a fugue state in the middle where
44:09
you can just completely forget what's going on
44:10
or not pay attention at all and just check in
44:12
and be like, oh, still no Nick. OK. Yeah. I will
44:15
say it's a movie I watched. Emphasis on watched
44:18
because I saw the whole thing. You know, another
44:21
thing I was expecting there to be more like.
44:23
comedy for some reason but it was a very serious
44:26
affair yeah the whole time oh yeah there's no
44:30
joking about this there's not really any like
44:32
comedy but i guess that is that the era of film
44:36
maybe yeah maybe i'm just so used to like really
44:39
serious films having at least one little like
44:41
punchy joke here yeah like a good joke break
44:44
everyone yeah there really wasn't any humor in
44:45
this one is like very serious the whole time
44:48
serious business about okay well choosing an
44:53
emperor yeah okay i will say there was one kind
44:57
of joke in there when hayden christiansen is
44:59
teaching the prince how to shoot a bow and we
45:01
cut to nick cage teaching him and you know nick
45:05
cage like got him to focus by standing next to
45:07
the target and hayden christiansen like stands
45:09
at the target then almost gets shot that was
45:11
a tempting joke yeah yeah was it good no but
45:16
they tried I wonder if you think Nicolas Cage
45:19
was supposed to supposed to be the like comedy.
45:23
Maybe I think so. I mean, he definitely has the
45:25
funniest lines in there. Oh, yeah. Whether they're
45:27
actually super laughy, funny, debatable. But
45:30
I mean, you definitely cast Nick Cage for his
45:34
character, no matter what character you put him
45:37
in. Yeah. Yeah. I wish I just wish he would have
45:39
gone more, you know, balls to the walls with
45:42
it. It would have been great if he was just like
45:44
his time in the. in the far east had made him
45:48
like just super unhinged out there like with
45:52
a boston accent with a boston accent boston cop
45:55
accent boston cop boston cop i know we have watched
45:59
more nicholas cage than is probably recommended
46:01
by most professionals but there are definitely
46:04
things i've like i'm starting to pick up on uh
46:07
in his performance mostly his like stance when
46:10
he's like like his fuming stance he has that
46:12
very like shoulders forward like neck hunched
46:15
down just kind of like he was making a ton of
46:18
movies during this time too i looked it up in
46:19
the in the years from like i think it was 2010
46:22
to 2020 he made 44 movies it's a ton and like
46:27
the the quality fluctuates wild oh yeah it's
46:30
insane but i think that's why i love him so much
46:33
is that he's like capable of just these like
46:35
these crazy crappy movies that are still like
46:39
well that's nicholas gage but also just like
46:42
a very like pig you know just a very right uh
46:44
like artful meaningful movie yeah he's he's a
46:48
wild actor it's it's pretty cool i'll just take
46:50
our last five minutes um there was something
46:53
yeah hold on everybody sit the fuck down i got
46:56
five minutes of your time all right we'll see
46:59
y 'all later we've we've talked to uh you've
47:02
mentioned like white savior movies and uh oh
47:04
yeah all this uh do you do any of you have a
47:07
favorite white savior film uh jesus and the technical
47:13
dream coat I think Jesus. God damn it. No. Who
47:20
had the Technicolor Dreamcoat? Joseph. Joseph.
47:24
God damn it. Jesus Christ was a superstar. He
47:28
was. That's what I was thinking of. I think Littlefoot
47:31
from Land Before Time. They're remaking Littlefoot.
47:34
Did you see that? There's a Littlefoot comeback.
47:37
Oh, my gosh. Get ready for that. There we go.
47:41
Is it? Is it going to be animated or CGI? I think
47:44
it was live action. Yeah, it's full Jurassic
47:49
Park. We're bringing back real dinosaurs and
47:51
we're teaching them to eat. What was it? Three
47:55
leaf? Yeah, I don't know. Five leaf. Five points.
48:00
I probably will. I can't think off the top of
48:02
my head, but I know a film that I watched. If
48:05
it comes on like it's the kind of movie where
48:07
if it comes on TBS, I'll probably like. put it
48:09
on and do other stuff and that is the most iconic
48:12
one last samurai oh yeah it's very iconic it's
48:15
not i mean it's not like a bad movie really yeah
48:19
but it is a it is a white savior movie there
48:22
are some good ones it's wild that tom cruise
48:24
is the last samurai but well i mean he's the
48:30
only one that would fit into their armor he's
48:31
so short Yeah, there was also Dances with Wolves.
48:37
Dances with Wolves was a great one. I'm going
48:39
to go with White Chicks, the Wayans movie. It
48:44
was the whiteness that saved them in the end.
48:46
I'm pretty sure. I've never watched it, but I've
48:49
seen it. Oh, you've never watched it? No. Should
48:51
I? You can find out how Terry Crews eats pussy
48:54
in that movie. Also, I'm pretty sure there's
48:56
a White Chicks 2. How have I gotten? I'm 41.
48:59
How have I not learned? how Terry Crews eats
49:03
pussy at this point in my life. Definitely. Definitely.
49:06
It's worth a watch. So I'm going to go home.
49:08
I'm going to watch that and I'm going to watch
49:09
sideways because we're not having any fucking
49:12
Merlot. And you can also see MC Ganey's dick.
49:15
Yeah, well, yeah. Oh, man, I just Pete and I
49:19
were talking about this earlier today and I realized
49:22
MC Ganey was in that movie, too. He's great.
49:24
Yeah. I mean, mostly it's just you see him run
49:26
around naked. Perfect. Yeah. Love it. All right.
49:29
Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks for having
49:32
me. Yeah. Thanks, Kyle. This is great to have
49:33
you. I am glad you got to join for this movie.
49:36
Oh, yeah. I love I love I love a good Asian movie.
49:38
Yeah. All right. Thank you to our sparkle buddies,
49:42
Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart and Willow
49:44
and to our cage dancers, John Freeman, Nathan
49:46
and Cameron. And of course, to Bill Panks for
49:48
our intro music. And thank you all for listening.
49:51
And we will see you next time for Snowden. Mm
49:55
hmm. a romp a real romp a real laugh riot uh
50:00
it's a rom -com right yeah exactly snowden rom
50:03
-com who's who plays snowden uh joseph gordon
50:06
levin what what is what is nicholas cage's role
50:10
i don't know it's he's like a dude a white savior
50:12
he's a white he's a white skater we'll find out
50:16
come back next time all right goodbye Bye. Bye.
50:30
I'm glad that you're no longer a Chiefs fan.
50:32
That's right. Now I'm a full Raiders fan. Full
50:34
on Raiders fan. You're a Raiders fan? Yeah. Yeah.
50:36
No, he's he's jumped ship. He's he's joined the
50:39
dark side. I mean, I've already gotten to the
50:40
peak of the mountain with my team. So like now
50:43
I can just start at the bottom again with somebody
50:44
else. And then. No, it's good. You can invest
50:46
another 20, 30 years before the Raiders hit the
50:48
Super Bowl. Good. Then I'll be dead. Yeah. We
50:53
can all hope.