Latest / The Kink Consultant / Performance Anxiety, Erectile Dysfunction, Getting Soft? How to have Better Sex: A Conversation with Promescent CEO, Jeff Abraham

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Performance Anxiety, Erectile Dysfunction, Getting Soft? How to have Better Sex: A Conversation with Promescent CEO, Jeff Abraham · The Kink Consultant

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It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
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So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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to it. Hey everyone, and welcome to
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this week's episode of the King Consultant.
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I am here with someone who I have been looking for in my
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search for better sex in 2026, not just for me, but for all of
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my listeners and everyone in general.
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I am on a mission and that mission has taken me to
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permescent and I'm excited to welcome CEO Jeff Abraham to the
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King Consultant podcast. Thank you for being here.
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It's. My pleasure.
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I don't even know where to start because once I found out about
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permescent I was like this is someone I need to talk to simply
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because as a king coach for men, I talked to men about sexual
1:00
performance, Ed, premature ejaculation and better sex
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overall, not just selfishly for myself which I'm also looking in
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for. So I know you have some things
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for men and women, but how did your journey start?
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How did you decide promescent and sexual Wellness was your
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journey? I might have the most circuitous
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route ever taken to be the CEO of the sexual Wellness company.
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I owned a semiconductor engineering business and I was
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very fortunate. Got into it when I was really
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young, right out of college, and I formed my own company when I
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was about 30 and it was wildly successful and I sold.
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The company retired in my mid 50s.
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It just so happened my next door neighbor was a chief of urology
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at Hoke Hospital, Newport Beach. He specializes in sexual
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medicine and one day I was in for my yearly PSA physical, you
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know, that kind of thing because he was my doctor as well as my
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friend and my neighbor. And I went in and one thing led
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to another. He goes, hey, I developed this
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new product and I know your history because I was born very
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say middle class, slightly below middle class kind of thing and
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and achieved quite a bit of success.
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And he goes, I know your history and I think you're really smart
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business wise. I developed this product.
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Can you help out? And one thing led to another.
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It was promescent. At that point, the only product
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was delay spray. I was curious and I asked for a
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sample of it and I thought I was going to write me prescription.
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It turns out it was over the counter.
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And so I tried it and I went Oh my God.
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And I went, this stuff is fantastic because one of the
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things that I will tell you that most people aren't aware of is
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stepping outside of the realm of premature ejaculation.
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Talk about the normal healthy adult male, the normal healthy
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adult female. The normal male lasts 5 minutes
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and 42 seconds during penetration and trusting.
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The average female takes about 18 minutes of penetration and
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trusting to achieve climax. There's a term for it that a lot
2:49
of urologists and therapists actually call the arousal gap.
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That's why there's 7 trillion vibrators in the world.
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That's why guys stop and start and think about baseball scores.
2:58
That's why that's why so many guys go, I'm the master of
3:02
cunnilingus. You know, there are so many
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things that couples are just conditioned to do to bring the
3:08
woman closer prior to the onset of intercourse just so they make
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it with a higher probability of both sides.
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Climaxing. We're so goal oriented instead
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of solutions focused. That's exactly, exactly right.
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But I want to make one thing perfectly clear.
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No one should ever think that it's sex is not satisfactory
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unless both partners climax during intercourse.
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OK, because there are some women that don't climax during
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intercourse because there's sometimes not direct stimulation
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on the clitoris. Put it this way, if both people
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achieve climax, or for that matter achieve satisfaction at
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the end of a session of intimacy, then everyone's
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satisfied and everyone is happy. But it's a powerful situation
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when you both have simultaneous climax or during the same thing.
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A lot of people say that's probably the most satisfying
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part of intimacy is that both people achieve climax around the
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same point in time. So this is not just for
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something for someone who has severe clinical PE, you know,
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most people can benefit by a longer time frame and longer
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duration of intercourse. So it became fascinating to me,
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especially when I realized how prevalent even regular premature
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ejaculation was, in addition to the people who just want to use
4:25
something to have better intimacy.
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So there was obviously a huge market.
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I think there's a huge market because everyone in my
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experience alone wants to have better sex.
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We want to have better connection, more fun, and sex is
4:38
fun with each other and anything that can help that is worth
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trying at least. Absolutely.
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I'll bet you that 70% of our customers that use permescent
4:49
delay spray don't have premature ejaculation.
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They don't. They just want a higher level of
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intimacy. They want better sex.
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That's why one of our tag lines is better in bed.
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And this is one thing I will tell you.
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Any man that tells you that at some point in his life, he
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hasn't been fully aware that he was ready to climax, but his
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partner hadn't climaxed yet is lying.
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You're just flat out lying. OK.
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It happens a lot. And I tell people there's the
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devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other shoulder.
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One's going, oh, my God, this feels good.
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Just finished. Get that Feeling the other side.
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No, no, wait, wait, wait. Her pleasure's just as important
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and that leads to anxiety. Anytime you're in a situation
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that you want to experience pleasure.
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But parties going no, don't, don't.
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It's not right don't yet that creates anxiety and anxiety and
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intimacy are two completely separate feelings and they
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should not mix because anxiety ruins intimacy, being uptight,
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being anxious and everything else.
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So that's why we tell people and that's why so many of our
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customers, you know, because we very interactive, we sell quite
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a bit of our product through our website.
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So it's one of those situations that I reach out, I talk to
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people all the time. Hey, I'm really glad you're
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using our product. I saw you bought the delay spray
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for, you know, three solid years now you're using some of our
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toys and some of our lubes and female arousal gels.
6:04
And how'd you first find this? Because it's really curious.
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I want to know people's journeys, how they find this and
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they'll go, you know, I didn't think I had PE, but I heard you
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on this podcast or I saw an ad or blah, blah, blah.
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So I'm really fascinated by that.
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And like I said, it's amazing to me that 70% of people using our
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delay spray don't have clinical premature ejaculation or
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something the medical community would define as premature
6:27
ejaculation. What does the medical community
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define as premature ejaculation? You're going to follow the
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ground laughing when I tell you this.
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The medical community defines premature ejaculation.
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If you never last more than 90 seconds ever, whether it's oral,
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whether it's anal, whether it's, you know, vaginal, whether it's
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oral sex, I'm like, wait a second.
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You're telling me that if I last 91 seconds, I don't consider,
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you know, to have premature ejaculation?
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Because we have an Advisory Board of many of the top
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urologists. In fact, some of them are on the
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boards of AUA, American Neurological Association,
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SMSNANISSM, which is International Society Sexual
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Medicine, Sexual Medicine Society of North America.
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We've been working with them to change those definitions.
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Instead of putting a specific time to say that if your sex
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life would be improved by having a longer duration of
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intercourse, then maybe you should be viewed as someone who
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has premature ejaculation and would like something to augment
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or supplement that. Because I shudder to think that
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someone goes in to see a urologist, especially someone
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who doesn't specialize in sexual medicine, because the majority
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of neurologists specialize in sexual medicine.
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And someone says, oh, I think I have an issue.
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And a doctor says, how long do you last?
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And they go 2 minutes. And the guy goes, Oh no you
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don't. You're fine.
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You're. Fine, you're great.
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You're the biggest thud that ever walked planet Earth, that
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kind of thing. So I think that there needs to
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be a heightened awareness that let's make it more subjective,
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that if your intimacy would be enhanced and you and your
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partner's pleasure would be enhanced by a longer time during
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penetration thrusting, then you might fall into a category that
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a urologist or a doctor would say to you, yeah, there are
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options out there. And it was interesting because
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when you talk about my journey, when I first I became aware of
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promescent and PE because I was in that category where I would
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last 10 to 12 minutes and it seemed like, OK, everything's
8:21
good. But I was aware on certain
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instances with certain relationships I had where it was
8:27
like, OK, she hasn't climaxed yet, not yet, not yet, that kind
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of thing. So as I became more involved
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with the company and then eventually invested in it and
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took the company over, it became clear to me that we had to
8:39
change that message to enhanced intimacy, better intimacy, and
8:43
get away from premature ejaculation and get away from
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the idea that there was a medical condition to just
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basically talk about are you happy with your intimacy?
8:54
Do you feel fulfilled as your partner?
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Satisfied. So we've been at the forefront
8:59
of changing that definition and changing the way people view
9:02
premature ejaculation and how to properly frame it and how to
9:07
make people feel like you're not alone.
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Because so many times people feel like it's only me.
9:13
I'm deficient and it's no fault. But it's kind of sad that it's
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become the butt of jokes, comedians during monologues, and
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there's all these memes about guys not lasting long enough.
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And there's all these old wives tales out there that are really
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kind of sad because there's a certain segment of the
9:31
population that believes if you don't last long enough, it's
9:33
because you don't want to satisfy your partner.
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You're selfish. There could be nothing further
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from the truth. We talk to people all day every
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day that face this issue. And I can tell you this, there's
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nothing more they would like in life than to last a lot longer.
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And said it's not selfishness. And there's also these feelings
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out there that it's in your head.
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You're just not strong enough mentally to last long enough.
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There's probably 20% of the ideology of premature or rapid
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ejaculation is maybe a psychological component, but
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there's 80% of people that have physical limitations and it
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could be hypersensitivity, the penile nerves, low testosterone,
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prostatitis. There's many issues physically
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that can cause you rapid or premature ejaculation.
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And let's make sure we understand that, that no one
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feels like they don't last long enough because they don't care
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about their partner. They're not mentally strong
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enough to last long enough, those types of things.
10:28
So this has been a real journey in terms of educating people, in
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terms of getting people to understand you're not alone.
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This is a very common problem. I don't understand why, but
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there's still a stigma from a lot of men and women that if you
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use products to enhance your sexuality, that means you're
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less than or you're deficient. One of the things that I like to
10:50
tell people is because there's so many physiological issues
10:54
that can cause rapid or premature ejaculation.
10:56
Does anyone ever look down upon a diabetic for taking insulin?
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Does anyone ever look at someone with cancer and go, oh, you're
11:03
taking chemo, you're weak mentally?
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What? That's insane.
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So why if you use a product like Promescent to enhance your
11:10
intimacy, would there be any stigma or shame around it?
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You could have prostatitis, you could have low testosterone, you
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could have hypersensitivity of the penile nerves.
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And we also know that certain ethnicities have a much higher
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degree of premature ejaculation. In dealing with people in the
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medical community, there's this nature versus nurture debate
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because one of the things that people used to use to treat
11:35
rapid or premature ejaculation prior to chromescent or SSRI's.
11:39
Now people like me that aren't medical, when you first hear
11:42
that you go, what's an SSRI? Then someone goes selective
11:45
serotonin reuptake and you go, I still don't know what that is.
11:48
They're just depression drugs, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft.
11:51
They will allow you to last longer.
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Unfortunately, there's dry mouth, nausea, loss of libido,
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vital thoughts. Yes.
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So you're actually creating more problems than you're solving by
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using those products. Yeah.
12:07
I mean loss of libido is such a common one that as soon as I
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hear SSRI or antidepressant I'm like how's your drive right?
12:15
Exactly. You think you're depressed now,
12:17
wait until you take this, OK, And you have absolutely no sex
12:21
drive. I've always had a very active
12:23
libido. So when I took over this
12:25
company, it's very important to me that, number one, I made a
12:29
huge financial investment as well as time I came out of
12:32
retirement, I had retired. And so I wanted to really see
12:36
how effective the product was. But more importantly, I had to
12:39
be very aware of how this product stacks up against its
12:43
competition. So I tried Stud 100, I tried
12:47
Dynamo Delay, all these other products out there.
12:49
And I tell people that literally you could have dropped a cinder
12:52
block on my penis and I would have felt it.
12:54
I felt like I was watching a movie of me having sex with
12:57
somebody. I knew that I was being intimate
13:00
with my partner, but I could not feel anything.
13:02
It numbed her, and we don't do that.
13:04
And that's one of the biggest advantages of Promescent.
13:07
It doesn't have that numbing effect on both you and it
13:10
doesn't transfer to your partner.
13:11
I was thinking to myself, you're solving one problem, creating
13:15
another. If you climb, actually you don't
13:16
feel anything because you're so numb.
13:18
It's kind of this auto reflex. You're really trading one
13:21
problem for another. You're taking away the
13:24
connection to. Take away the connection that's
13:26
exactly. And let's face it, isn't
13:28
intimacy all about connection? I think so.
13:32
Like that is. What it's about for me.
13:34
Well, you're younger. I'm old school, so that's the
13:36
way I'm that was drilled into being, you know, supposed to be
13:38
connected to your partner. You know, you're not supposed to
13:41
have sex recreationally. This was taught to me because
13:44
I'm 68 when I was in school. Listen Raised in Ireland, Irish
13:48
Catholic, also raised. To I didn't know your
13:51
background. Yeah.
13:52
So. So it's one of those things that
13:57
and for me at my age, I don't have multiple partners.
14:00
I don't have multiple relationships at one time.
14:03
I function best and committed one-on-one relationships and I
14:07
love to feel a connection with my partner.
14:09
I've always told people that as a man, one of the messages that
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I've really been stressing on our website and whenever I do
14:18
podcasts or interviews is focus on your partner's pleasure.
14:23
You get the credit of being this attentive lover.
14:26
You get the credit for being so caring, but at the same time,
14:29
you're ensuring your own pleasure.
14:31
Because I can tell you this from experience, that if you are a
14:36
decent person and you provide and you're emotionally
14:40
supportive and you have a relationship and that person
14:43
receives multiple, many intense orgasms, they're going to go.
14:47
I want to make sure he does as well.
14:49
I don't want that guy going anywhere, OK?
14:51
It's that simple. True, it is so true.
14:53
Like you want to return just as much as you're getting.
14:56
That's exactly. But you're ensuring the return,
14:59
you're paying it forward by making sure your partner is
15:02
satisfied. And we had developed a line of
15:05
proprietary vibrators and they're really, really good.
15:08
And we noticed initially that almost all women were buying
15:10
them, not as many men. So I started asking.
15:13
A lot of men are like, well, I'm a good lover.
15:15
I don't need a vibrator. And I'm like, hey, more, this is
15:18
in 1920, okay? This is in addition to not in
15:22
place of you being a good lover. It's not a competition.
15:25
It's not a competition between you and your womanizer, satisfy
15:29
or vibrator. You know if your partner gets
15:33
more intense and more frequent orgasms due to using a vibrator
15:38
than use a vibrator. Because even when you're in a
15:42
missionary type position, using a vibrator with direct
15:45
stimulation on the clitoris is a positive thing because that's
15:49
generally not stimulated through a lot of different sexual
15:52
positions. So just helping men get over
15:55
that stigma that Oh my God, something's wrong with me.
15:57
Oh my God, my partner is a vibrator.
15:59
So when I'm not here, she's having better sex with her,
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right? No, part of being a good lover
16:05
is self exploration is getting into your own feelings and your
16:09
own pleasure. And just because your partner,
16:12
even when you're in a relationship, sometimes
16:14
masturbates doesn't mean there's something wrong with your sex
16:18
with her. Exactly.
16:19
And same for bringing a vibrator into the bed with it.
16:24
Doesn't mean there's something wrong.
16:25
But listen, you were touching on something that's super.
16:28
I know I'm curious about it. I want to go a little bit more
16:31
on delay cream because like, I think people hear delay cream
16:34
and the automatic assumption is every delay cream is just going
16:37
to stop me from feeling anything.
16:38
What if it rubs off on my partner?
16:39
Then she doesn't feel anything and we're screwed.
16:42
You know, it doesn't seem worth the risk.
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17:33
What makes promescence delay cream different?
17:36
Why should I try that? As someone who is worried a
17:40
little bit about like delay cream, I don't know if that's
17:43
going to affect me. There's two categories when it
17:46
comes to delay sprays, delay creams, okay, delay wise,
17:49
there's promescent, there's everybody else.
17:51
And fortunately for us with our founder who's urologist is a
17:55
genius. So he looked at his options out
17:57
there. If someone came to see him for
17:59
Ed, he had Viagra, Cialis, Levitra's, Dendra, Trimix shots,
18:04
etcetera. Someone came to see him for
18:06
prostate issues, he had many options.
18:08
Someone came to see him in confidence, he had many options.
18:10
Someone came to see him because they rejected it too quickly.
18:14
He had these numbing creams which numbed everybody up,
18:17
including your partner and SSRI's which killed libido.
18:20
So he said there's got to be something better.
18:22
So he went out there and along with a pH D in organic chemist,
18:26
they develop Promescent. So essentially what Promescent
18:30
does, it has lidocaine is its active ingredient, but what it
18:33
does, it changes the melting point of lidocaine.
18:37
OK, there's a formula that we patented.
18:39
So lidocaine in its native form is a crystal.
18:42
It's like a grain of salt. So here's your skin, here's your
18:45
dermis. It sits on the dermis.
18:47
It numbs you, and it transfers to your partner when you make
18:50
contact with her because it's on the surface of your skin.
18:52
So Promescent changes the melting point of lidocaine so
18:56
where it goes subdermal. So you apply it, you wait 3 to 5
18:59
minutes, it goes below the surface.
19:01
It happens in three to 5 minutes.
19:03
Yes, we say 5 to 7 or 7 to 10 just to make sure because
19:08
people's body chemistries are different.
19:10
But within 3 to 5 minutes, trust me, I've used it and it's
19:13
generally effective. Wait 7 to 10 minutes is
19:15
completely effective. What happens is it goes
19:17
subdermal, so it's no longer on the surface.
19:20
So you feel a higher degree of surface sensitivity, but it's in
19:24
the fatty tissue underneath, which still gives you that
19:27
control. Because it's underneath, it
19:29
doesn't transfer to your partner.
19:30
We've had so many people that use our product and they sent us
19:34
an e-mail. They go, I almost didn't order
19:35
this because I tried to lay sprays in the past and they
19:38
didn't work. They were not effective and this
19:41
really and truly is so different.
19:43
Oh my God. I'm so glad that you know you
19:45
guys emphasize the non transference in your advertising
19:49
because that's the only reason I did it because I tried 3 or 4 in
19:52
the past and I was so disappointed that they were not
19:55
effective. That is the differentiating
19:58
agent. It's that eutectic formula that
20:00
changes the melting point which allows the lidocaine to go
20:03
subdermal. I freaking love that, I really
20:06
do because that would be my hesitation around the life
20:09
dreams of Like, no, I want to feel everything.
20:12
There is nothing more pleasurable for a woman than to
20:14
feel everything. Everything, yes.
20:17
Be this just open flower, this open book and absorb everything
20:22
as opposed to going it's even inside of me.
20:25
Am I having intercourse right now?
20:26
I'm not. I can't feel anything.
20:28
And sometimes that feeling just happens anyway, and it's kind of
20:30
the worst. You want to be able to again,
20:33
feel that connection like that inspires me for sure.
20:35
OK, what else can I be doing or using that is going to help make
20:40
sex more pleasurable, the connection more enjoyable?
20:43
Like I specifically want to talk to you and understand Vitaflux.
20:47
A very unique product and I wish I could say I was a genius and I
20:50
developed it, but I'm going to tell the truth.
20:52
I went to a Sexual Medicine Society of North American
20:55
conference. It's where all the top sexual
20:57
medicine doctors congregate. So this was in San Antonio, I
21:00
believe, in 2018. So I go to this conference at
21:04
one of the very renowned leaders in sexual medicine comes up to
21:07
me, goes, man, you look tired. I go, I'm exhausted, we're
21:09
growing, I need to hire a bunch of people.
21:11
Things are going really, really well.
21:13
And I go, I'm just burning the candle at both ends.
21:16
And he goes, I developed this product, you should try it.
21:19
And I go, what is it? And it was vital flux.
21:22
And he goes, gives you more energy for working out,
21:25
increases your blood flow, which decreases blood pressure, helps
21:29
you recover, you'll feel better, more energy.
21:31
So he gives me this bottle of Vitaflox and I start taking it
21:35
and I go back at the time to your Vegas.
21:38
I was living full time here. And within a week, my
21:42
relationship at that point says to me, are you taking some kind
21:45
of Ed drug? I'm like, no, why?
21:47
She goes, I don't know if you're aware of this and I was 63 at
21:50
the time. That was five years ago,
21:51
whatever, maybe 62. She goes, we've been intimate
21:54
like 7 straight days and I'm like, well, I haven't exactly
21:57
been keeping. I know it's been pretty
21:59
frequent. I start thinking about, I go,
22:01
well, maybe that just waxes and wanes your hormone level,
22:04
whatever. A week later it was still the
22:06
same and I'm like, I might do anything different.
22:08
And I remember thinking to myself, well, the only thing
22:10
different, I'm taking the spider flux, but that's for more energy
22:13
working out, you know? So I called the doctor and I'm
22:16
like, hey, he starts laughing. He goes, I'm a sexual medicine
22:18
doctor. I go, well, you sold it to me.
22:21
Well, not sold, but you basically gave it to me under
22:24
the assumption it was going to be more energy.
22:25
He goes, yeah, but it also increases your erectile
22:29
capability, you know, and it really increases your desire
22:32
because when you increase blood flow, it doesn't just go right
22:35
to your arm or leg, it goes to your entire body.
22:38
And blood flow, your genitals obviously gives you a higher
22:41
libido. Horny.
22:42
And I was like, Oh my God, I didn't realize that.
22:45
So one thing led to another and I kept using it.
22:49
I start telling some of my friends about it, they start
22:51
using it. And this is so effective.
22:53
Vital flux is so effective at lowering your blood pressure
22:56
that they were having difficulties selling it as a
23:00
sexual Wellness supplement because that's the only product
23:03
they had. And people go, we don't know
23:05
you, we don't trust you. But they had broken into the
23:08
blood pressure reduction area. It increases blood flow, which
23:12
helps blow plaque out and decrease your blood pressure.
23:15
So they start selling it almost primarily for reducing blood
23:19
pressure. So I went to him and said, hey,
23:20
do you mind if we run with this as a sexual Wellness supplement?
23:23
He goes, no, I love you too. So we did and the products
23:26
immediately took off. So one of my neighbors who's
23:29
very every now and very successful guy loves our
23:32
company, loves our products. So hey, what's this fighter flux
23:37
I see on the site? You want some?
23:39
Yeah, I'll drop some off. So I'll put some in your
23:41
mailbox. Right.
23:42
So I give him the sample fighter flux.
23:43
A month later he goes, hey, you guys have to help me find
23:46
something for my wife. I go, what do you mean?
23:48
He goes, if I don't find her something, he goes, I'm going to
23:51
start hopping on my maid and, you know, like our cook and he's
23:54
like my libidos through the roof and my wife because he's my age.
23:58
So at the time he was 62, six years ago.
24:01
So I called the doctor. I go, hey, one of my very good
24:03
friends who used the product. I go, I need something for his
24:06
wife now He goes fight a flux. I go what?
24:09
He goes. It has the same effect on women.
24:11
It does not men. It increases blood flow.
24:13
He goes. Not only that, he goes, there's
24:15
an added benefit. I go, what's that?
24:17
He goes, there's an epithelial layer that covers all the veins
24:20
and arteries in our body. And what that epithelial layer
24:23
is designed to do when we're very young, in our 20s and 30s,
24:26
it's very supple. It allows vitamins, minerals and
24:30
hormones to absorb into the bloodstream, and it keeps
24:33
viruses and bacteria out. As we get into our late 30s,
24:37
that epithelial layer begins to harden.
24:39
When it hardens, it gets much better keeping bad stuff out.
24:42
It gets also good at keeping good stuff out.
24:45
So you have less vitamins, minerals and hormones that
24:47
absorb. That's why the average male, the
24:50
average female after the age of, you know, late 30s, early 40s,
24:54
every year gains a half a percent of body fat and lose a
24:56
half a percent of lean muscle tissue.
24:59
Oh my God, I just. Turned 37 late last year and
25:02
you're a prime candidate. To start using vital flux.
25:05
This is why. I'm like 2026 is about like
25:09
improving sex life, elongating it.
25:11
It's my favorite thing. So I want to make.
25:13
Sure. This so he says also he said
25:17
between losing hormones and then starting menopause, a lot of
25:21
women lose the ability to naturally lubricate and he said
25:25
this helps that it reverses that not only that it gives you more
25:29
energy. You know it helps you through
25:31
workout because your hormones absorb better.
25:34
It helps you not lose that lean muscle tissue helps keep body
25:37
fat. It's like, Oh my God, we have
25:39
hundreds of women who use female vital flux right now for nothing
25:43
other than the ability to continue to moisturize.
25:46
We have women that lost that ability, that regained it when
25:48
they started using vital flux because of the lack of hormone
25:51
absorption I talk about. This just that feeling of like I
25:55
want my body to show how I feel. Like I feel turned on and even
26:01
at 37 I've noticed a drop off. So I do this for a living and
26:08
I'm very well aware of this happens and I was dating a gal
26:12
that was in her late 40s. This was about three years ago
26:15
and she lost the ability to naturally lubricate.
26:18
She was starting menopause. And I knew what it was.
26:22
And I knew exactly from an academic, from an informational
26:27
point of view, what was happening.
26:29
And I still got kind of uptight. I still was like, oh, I don't
26:31
think she's turned on. I don't, I'm like, wait a
26:33
second, you boob. You know exactly what's going
26:36
on. You're so, but it's so ingrained
26:38
in US, you know that. And it was like me too though.
26:41
If I was a man and he might not stay as hard or something, well
26:45
I feel like am I not sexy? Have I put on weight?
26:48
And I also know yes like. Our egos are.
26:51
Programmed to think what is wrong with me?
26:53
What is wrong with? Me that's causing her to have
26:56
this reaction, yes or? What is wrong?
26:59
Like did I say the wrong thing that is causing him to have this
27:02
reaction and both parties are taking it on themselves?
27:05
Absolutely. But there are so many.
27:07
So that's what's killing me. There are so many solutions out
27:10
there and I are you telling me though that so like Vitaflex, if
27:14
this is helpful for blood pressure, is this something
27:17
everyone can just get? Is this like where I go to the
27:19
website and I have to get a prescription or something?
27:22
No, it's over the. Counter It's a supplement.
27:24
It's L arginine, L carnitine, L citrulline, zinc and magnesium.
27:28
Is there anything as? A woman I need to be aware of
27:30
are there adverse effects for what if I'm on hormone
27:34
replacement therapy I mean I'm not but like I'm thinking about
27:37
all there are no. Adverse effects because there's
27:39
no hormones in this. You know what I mean?
27:41
Yeah. Something specifically designed
27:44
to increase blood flow, which decreases blood pressure.
27:47
The benefits of increased blood flow are lower blood pressure.
27:50
Everyone wants the lowest possible blood pressure.
27:52
It means your heart and everything is very healthy, and
27:55
it helps that epithelial layer. A lot of our employees, a lot of
27:59
our male employees in their early 30s take it just because
28:03
it helps them in the gym. It helps them recover better
28:06
from workouts. And even at their age, they're
28:08
like, I want maximum erectile function.
28:11
Oh yeah, who? Doesn't.
28:12
Yes, exactly. Yeah, the person that comes to
28:15
me goes, I don't want better erectile function.
28:17
We'll be the first that, but they will have the title, the
28:19
first person that ever went. I'm not concerned with erectile
28:22
function. OK, you're just like.
28:24
Sparking things in me now right of like OK, what happens in sex?
28:27
So you mentioned once a day on Vitaflux, right?
28:30
Like what about multiple times a day?
28:32
Did you start wanting it more than once a day?
28:34
Is there anything that sort of I don't know is it like bounce
28:37
back time? I know men are like when you're.
28:40
Talking about bounce back time, you're talking about the
28:42
refractory index after having sex.
28:45
How soon can you have sex again? OK, I've never in my life.
28:48
Called it the refractory index, but yes, let's go with that.
28:53
Learning something new every moment, I tell people.
28:55
This is an analogy that I use that when a man is in his 20s,
29:01
early 30s, you're like a machine gun.
29:04
You're spraying bullets all over the place.
29:05
They're just flying out. You have, you're not worried
29:08
about ammo at all. You're not worried about aim
29:09
because I'll get you with something, you know what I mean?
29:12
Then a guy gets into his 30s, maybe your early 40s, and you
29:15
become a semi automatic weapon. You're still firing, but maybe
29:18
not at random. OK, Then you get into your 40s,
29:23
early 50s, you're a rifle, you take a shot, You know what I
29:26
mean? And I tell people, you get in
29:28
your 60s, you're like a musket. Remember those?
29:30
Oh my God, where you put a ball down, you put the thing in and
29:34
you know what I mean? Exactly.
29:37
So I tell people that we have a lot of very young people who use
29:42
our delay spray and some of our products because, you know, you
29:45
still don't really have a lot of experience yet and you don't
29:49
really feel that in touch with your sexuality.
29:52
And then we have a lot of older people because they're like,
29:54
hey, I get one shot a night and before my next episode, I mean,
29:59
you know, three meals, a workout, a good night's sleep
30:01
and everything else. So I don't make every shot
30:04
count, you know what I mean? That kind of, so Vita flux will
30:08
give you that option of being more frequently sexual because
30:14
of that increased blood flow #1 the arousal factors there.
30:17
Number 2, when you're having better intimacy, you want it
30:20
more often. That is 1. 100% true If you're
30:25
having good intimacy and you're climaxing or just feeling that
30:28
connection, it's addictive. Well, here's another thing that.
30:32
I tell people all the time and I don't know why people think this
30:34
is so like Breakthrough and so, but it's just common sense.
30:39
I always tell people because there's this refrain when I'm
30:42
not in a relationship, I can't find a relationship.
30:45
Oh my God, for some reason, no one is really into me.
30:48
As soon as I meet someone, I'm in a good relationship, suddenly
30:50
everyone's hitting on me and like they think that's like, why
30:53
is that? It's simple because when you're
30:56
in a good relationship and you're being satisfied, you're
30:59
satisfying someone else. Frequently you are happy, you're
31:03
giving off this positive vibe. You're walking around, your
31:06
chest is puffed out, your shoulders are back.
31:08
You're like, yeah, that world is good.
31:11
When you're not in a relationship, you're walking
31:13
around, your shoulders are slumped.
31:14
You're like, no one wants me. I don't want anyone.
31:16
I'm like that. Who wants a piece of that
31:18
action? Answer no one.
31:20
So that's why when you're having good intimacy, you're in a good
31:23
relationship, you become much more attractive to potential
31:28
partners because they're like, I don't know what that guys on or
31:30
what that gals on, but I want a piece of ass because they're
31:33
just exuding confidence. They're exuding happiness and
31:37
they're exuding this feeling of like things are good.
31:40
And when you're alone and lonely and not satisfied, you're
31:44
exuding exactly the opposite. Like life's not that good.
31:48
You're giving that like. Oh, I'm looking for someone, I'm
31:50
looking for something. And that's that desperation.
31:53
And if you can feel a little more sure in yourself, and
31:55
whatever it takes to feel more sure in yourself, like you're
31:58
going to give off a different energy, it's that same.
32:01
Thing, if you go by a restaurant and it's empty, you look in, you
32:05
go. I'm not even there.
32:06
No one's in there. If you go by a restaurant,
32:08
there's a line Outfront, you get in the line, there are going to
32:11
be something going on here. There's people waiting for this
32:14
100%. Yes, that is the perfect
32:16
analogy, but also it's just sort of like, who do you want to be?
32:19
The person feeling fulfilled and happy with where they are or the
32:22
person who is still in that longing situation?
32:24
You said something earlier about anxiety and intimacy, right?
32:28
And how they're polar opposites. Like I try to help people with
32:31
the anxiety, but there are other things.
32:34
Just like you said, if you can find a supplement that's going
32:37
to help, why not take it The anxiety as a byproduct of it?
32:41
Because you're no longer worried, you're treating the
32:44
thing that's causing anxiety for you, especially if there are.
32:47
Supplements or products that don't have side effects that is
32:51
there to risk. The answer is nothing.
32:53
This can only help you. I use this analogy about people
32:58
and their prowess and people and their confidence.
33:02
I always tell people who's the best free throw shooter?
33:05
Steph Curry, whatever. If someone say to Steph Curry
33:08
you're shooting 3 throws at 94%, but we can help you go to 94.2,
33:12
it'd go absolutely, yes, best. I want to be better.
33:15
Who's the best golfer in the world right now?
33:18
It might be Rory McIlroy, it might be Bryce and Deshampo.
33:21
Whatever they go. You average 19.4 bucks per
33:24
round. Would you like to average 19.3?
33:26
Absolutely. I want to be the best.
33:28
The people that are at the top of their profession truly want
33:32
to take it to the next level. That's why I laugh when some
33:36
people are like, no, I'm good, I don't need to try anything.
33:39
I'm the best lover that ever lived.
33:41
That to me means you're hiding some kind of insecurity.
33:44
If you're not open to go, let me take this to another level.
33:48
Johnny Sims is a big advocate of pro message.
33:51
He's done a lot of pre rolls for us.
33:53
You know the porn actor? Yes, I did.
33:55
What? Does that tell you when Johnny
33:57
Sins, who was ABN's male porn star of the year 2021-2022, says
34:03
I use these products to make me better in bed?
34:06
OK, I mean I have 20. 10 vision. I was like, maybe I should go
34:09
get laser eye surgery, but in the same way I'm thinking like
34:13
I'm 37, I love my sex life, how do I keep this going?
34:16
I know we've talked a lot about men, but there's also a lot more
34:19
research and public knowledge and discourse about menopause,
34:23
right? Which has made me hyper aware of
34:25
the that my sex life could change and will change as I age.
34:29
Yes. So what can I be doing now to
34:31
ensure that I don't go through those highs and lows as
34:34
dramatically as I would if I wasn't taking care of myself
34:37
now? You know, for board members.
34:40
Rachel Rubin, she's on her Advisory Board, is one of the
34:43
leading advocates for estrogen, for menopause.
34:46
She's been renowned. I'm so proud to be affiliated
34:49
with her. I see her all over the news now,
34:51
and women's sexuality had taken a back seat for the longest
34:55
time. There's all these freaking ads,
34:57
Viagra, Cialis, Lavitra. Men last longer.
35:01
Like, what about women? There's generally in every
35:03
heterosexual relationship, there's two people in there.
35:06
You know what I mean? Like, we please make sure that
35:09
we're addressing both parts of the equation.
35:13
Can women have a seat at the table and have some focus placed
35:17
on their sexual Wellness, their pleasure?
35:20
Amen. That is my gospel.
35:22
It's about two people, not just one.
35:26
I had a lot of frustration, like even just on a feminist level,
35:30
around how much focus was put on Ed medicine, how much funding
35:35
Viagra got, how easy it was for people to get that help.
35:38
And we weren't getting that same level of support on the women's
35:41
side. And I think that the balance is
35:43
shifting, especially as we start talking about estrogen and
35:46
understanding the benefits and how we can lessen the effects of
35:48
menopause on our sex lives specifically, in addition to
35:52
everything else. So I think knowing and paying
35:55
more attention to that last year in 2025 is when I really started
35:58
to pay attention to like people talking about menopause because
36:01
there are so many adverse effects for women, but also men
36:04
in relationships. And I see that with the men who
36:06
come to me for coaching. They notice their wives are
36:09
going through changes too. And it's how do you recalibrate
36:12
your sex life, recalibrate what you're doing and that healthy
36:15
eating matters. But there are other things
36:17
available. Yes, without a doubt.
36:19
What else is permesan? Working on right now.
36:21
If anything, we have female. Arousal gels.
36:24
We have two, we have a buzzing and a warming. 1 is more subtle.
36:28
It just warms your labia, your clitoris in almost like a
36:33
preparation for intimacy. When would I use them?
36:37
So it's traditionally used. About 15 minutes before sex
36:41
where you start feeling warmth, you start feeling more blood
36:45
flow, you start feeling more arousal.
36:47
Now that being said, I've done this podcast I think about 6 or
36:51
7 times or these two women, it's called 2 Wild Orchids.
36:54
And so I'm doing it and we have provided them with product over
36:58
the years we've been doing it. So the one says to me, guess
37:01
what I'm wearing and we're doing this at like noon, you know,
37:04
West Coast time. And I'm like, well, I can only
37:08
see it from the waist up because we're on a podcast.
37:09
It's there right here. And I go you have on cream
37:12
colored blouse in a or a Navy blazer.
37:15
She goes no, down below. Guess what I'm wearing.
37:18
I go, I have no idea. She goes home message forming
37:21
jail. And I'm like what?
37:23
She goes, yeah, I find that in the morning right before I
37:26
leave, I do a little dab and she doesn't makes me feel warm.
37:30
And she goes at lunchtime, I always go in and put another
37:34
little dab on maybe 3 in the afternoon she goes.
37:36
By the time I come home at night, she goes, I feel like
37:39
I've had eight to 10 hours worth of foreplay during the day and
37:42
I'm already ready to go. And it just makes me feel warm
37:47
and desirable all day. And I'm like, Oh my God, I never
37:51
thought about that. And I made a joke, but I wasn't
37:53
really joking. I was being serious.
37:54
I go. That's the difference between
37:56
men and women. Like a woman loves that feeling
37:59
of being aroused. A woman loves a feeling of like
38:02
8 to 10 hours worth of foreplay. You know what I mean?
38:05
Like just to feel sensual all day.
38:07
If a guy felt that way, he'd go in the bathroom and rub one out
38:10
right away. Go.
38:11
I got to get that. I swear to God, that's the first
38:13
thing I thought of. That's so different between men
38:16
and women. We do not feel.
38:18
Tortured by it, we feel connected and I actually work
38:22
with women on that. I'm like, how do you stay
38:23
connected to your vagina? How do you stay connected to
38:26
your pussy all day? Because I think that that
38:28
connection leads to better connection with others.
38:31
Exactly. And I need to.
38:33
Try that one of the advice that. I always give a lot of our male
38:37
customers as we talk all the time and they'll talk about the
38:40
lack of desire on their wife's part.
38:42
And a lot of times they've been married 20 years and it could be
38:45
because of estrogen, could be because of menopause, but I
38:48
always say that to a lot of men. Did you ever think of during the
38:52
day, setting your significant other text, Hey, can't wait to
38:55
see you tonight, blah blah blah, 8:00 AM in the morning, at
38:59
lunchtime. Oh, now we're only six hours
39:01
away from, you know, having a nice intimate dinner.
39:04
I go start setting the mood early.
39:07
Start with foreplay 8 hours before you're together.
39:11
If your idea foreplay is like brace yourself you know what I
39:14
mean? Like I'm sending.
39:16
This episode to clients before I have my first session.
39:19
This literally comes up in so many of my sessions.
39:23
Absolutely. If.
39:24
You're. A man, make your woman feel
39:27
desired, not just prior to intercourse where she thinks
39:31
she's just getting me ready. You know what I mean?
39:33
Yeah. To make it an all day process,
39:37
to make it like this. Delicious you're about to have
39:40
and you get to sample it all during the day.
39:43
You have these little things to whet the appetite all during the
39:46
day instead of the first time you interact with someone is
39:49
when you get home, you know, and even more importantly, when
39:52
you're in bed, the guy comes home, he's still on the phone.
39:55
He goes in his own little gym, he's doing his Peloton and he's
39:58
like, take a shower, get ready, we're having sex, you know, that
40:00
kind of thing. That's not an exaggeration.
40:03
Either as much as we're joking, that is many people, not an
40:06
exaggeration. Absolutely not an exaggeration
40:09
from a lot of couples when they have children, especially young
40:12
children. It's like the wife is busy with
40:15
the kids all day, the guy comes home, oh, you've been at work,
40:17
now you have to have the kid. And then finally put the kid to
40:20
bed at 10:00. They're both so exhausted.
40:22
It's like, do we even have time or energy for this?
40:25
And make time, make energy, and specifically prioritize it.
40:31
More importantly, make your partner feel desired.
40:34
Make your partner feel wanted. And it's both ways.
40:37
You both need to be making. Both need to be making it
40:39
happen. All right.
40:41
I don't know if you've. Been asked this question before,
40:42
but like this is a kink podcast, right?
40:44
And yeah, I have a question about the warming.
40:48
Put it doing a dab. Could you do it anally?
40:51
Is it only for your vagina? No, it's.
40:53
Safe for anal penetration so I'm assuming it would have the same
40:58
effect. Everyone asked that question,
41:00
but yes, I gave you a first. Right there.
41:03
Absolutely. We have a brand new product and
41:06
it's called Go Solo. It's men's masturbation cream
41:10
and there is a definite trend now and we're seeing it.
41:15
We sell a tremendous amount of sex toys, both male and female,
41:18
and there's a tendency among people and it started right
41:23
around Covad, but it hasn't waned that a lot of people
41:26
started working for home. Some people will not take a job
41:28
and let's take the work remote. Then they order Grubhub or
41:32
Ubereats and they have meals brought in.
41:34
They have while they're shopping on Amazon.com and they have all
41:38
their stuff. They don't even want a sexual
41:39
partner. There's a whole segment of
41:42
people that have disassociated or disaffected and don't even
41:46
want to interact with humans anymore.
41:48
Their entire life is compartmentalized.
41:51
It's alone, it's isolated. I think that's why we've seen a
41:55
rise in mental illness. Almost every time you see some
41:58
of these violent acts and things that get carried out, a lot of
42:01
times they're loners. There's a need in our lives for
42:05
human contact and there's a certain large percentage of our
42:08
population is moving into this area that they don't have
42:12
interaction with anyone or anything.
42:14
This has happened to me with some of our younger employees
42:17
where they would be in the same room and then text someone
42:19
rather than have a conversation to me.
42:22
Maybe it's because I'm older and that's the way it was raised.
42:25
Human interaction is nourishment for the soul.
42:28
Human interaction allows me to expand my horizon, see other
42:33
people's point of views. And I think that's very
42:36
important because it's even encroaching on sexuality now
42:39
where people work remote, shop remote, have their meals
42:44
delivered, and don't even want a partner for sex.
42:47
A lot of your all just told us they're meeting a lot of men who
42:52
literally are having problems because they have a lot of
42:55
chafing because they're masturbating without proper
42:59
Lube. And they're starting to have
43:01
some callousing and damaging and desensitivity of the nerves
43:05
because of constant masturbation without using proper lubes or a
43:09
Lube. That's meant because there are
43:11
lubes that are meant for sex with a partner.
43:14
You know what I mean? That might be totally different
43:16
than a masturbatory loop that has to last a little bit longer
43:20
and has to have a lot less. If you're masturbating, you
43:24
don't want that totally slippery feeling.
43:26
You want more of a control. And so we developed this
43:31
specifically for masturbation and it's one of our fastest
43:36
growing products in terms of rate of growth.
43:39
And we already knew that we had a large number of men who needed
43:43
the product because of how many male masturbatory devices we
43:46
were selling. That's such a good.
43:48
Point and I'm glad there's a rise in sale of male
43:50
masturbatory products because for so long people thought sex
43:53
toys were just for women. So I'm glad that that exists,
43:56
but again, in service of connecting more with someone as
43:59
opposed to just masturbating, you're developing something that
44:03
makes it easier for them to use these toys for you use these
44:05
toys. Correctly, and one of the things
44:07
that we've really tried to stress is these masturbatory
44:10
products are not. So you spend the rest of your
44:12
life masturbating that a lot of times we stress that these male
44:17
master Tory products or great products to use if you're want
44:21
to last longer so that you can have more confidence by the time
44:25
you incorporate it in with a partner.
44:27
Because in some cases people feel very uncomfortable saying
44:31
that a partner, oh, you know, I need to use this and try this to
44:34
help me last longer. If you can have more of a
44:38
feeling of control by yourself, then you take that into your
44:42
relationship and you don't feel like, hey, you're my partner in
44:47
a laboratory experiment. You know that like I said, I
44:51
believe that even people in healthy relationships
44:55
masturbate. Absolutely.
44:56
I. Completely agree with that.
44:58
I know some people might view it as cheating and like you talk to
45:01
your partner about it, but I am such a champion of masturbating
45:05
in your relationship. Best women that I have.
45:07
Ever had relationships with always always masturbate and
45:12
have a wider range? I remember I dated 1 gal that
45:15
had I think 35 or 40 vibrators and I remember she was showing
45:21
me her collection. I'm like what is this?
45:23
Oh, that's the magic wand. To this day, you know, that's
45:26
still like the number one selling vibrator in the world.
45:29
And we're one of the authorized sellers because I said no matter
45:31
what, I want that vibrator. That's one of the very few non
45:35
branded permissive products we have that I want on our site
45:39
because for whatever reason it's the original, but it's never
45:44
been, it's still to this day it's totally packaged.
45:48
I love it. So in the.
45:49
Kink world. There's this whole thing about
45:51
like controlled orgasm or not being allowed to come without
45:55
your partner. And for me, I'm like, no, I
45:57
said, I promise you it is better if I'm allowed to come as often
46:00
as I want to come because it keeps my libido high.
46:06
If you're not allowed to come unless you're with your product
46:08
partner and one of you goes on a two week business trip, for God
46:11
sake, if someone has surgery for a month, they're laid up like
46:15
you're not allowed to orgasm. That's ridiculous.
46:18
I want my partner to have as many orgasms as possible, as
46:22
many intense orgasms as possible because that keeps reminding her
46:25
how good that feels and that keeps reminding her of how she
46:28
wants to have another one, hopefully with me in the
46:30
picture. I want as many with me in the
46:32
picture. If I haven't a few with me out
46:34
of the picture helps when I'm in the picture then I'll still be
46:36
in for me. I know.
46:38
It dies off. The desire dies off in me.
46:41
If I'm not masturbating frequently, I tell people that.
46:45
When you're having constant intense orgasms, music sounds
46:49
better, colors look brighter, food tastes better.
46:52
I swear to you it's like music has more depth to it all.
46:56
Is that bass off? It's a treble better I have
46:58
music sounds more complete to me.
47:00
You're connected to. Your pleasure, so you're ready
47:03
to receive pleasure in every part of your life.
47:06
OK, I have another question about this because I do
47:08
recommend when people are coming quickly, one of the things is I
47:11
do talk to them about how often they masturbate and because I
47:14
think that there's a little bit of training yourself to come
47:16
quickly masturbating. So I will say can you try and
47:20
elongate the time you're masturbating so you don't come
47:22
as quickly? Is go solo something that can
47:24
help people with that? Yes, because.
47:27
If you masturbate without using a lotion, it can become painful,
47:32
it can become So you want to get it over with quicker.
47:35
So one of the things that I think the advice that we give a
47:39
lot of our people, we have blogs about this, if you're going to
47:42
masturbate, treat it almost like a love making session where you
47:47
really plan for it, you enhance it.
47:50
I think a lot of people when they masturbate still feel a
47:52
certain amount of shame. It's like, let me get this over
47:55
with because I feel like less than because I don't have a
47:58
partner. Don't feel like that feel like
48:00
you're still going to have an orgasm.
48:02
You want that build up to be as long as possible because I don't
48:06
know what it's like for women, but for men, some cases the
48:09
longer the build up, the more intense the actual orgasm.
48:13
Like if you have an orgasm after a minute of penetration or
48:17
thrusting, it's not as strong as you've been orgasm after 20
48:21
minutes of penetration and thrust.
48:23
I've heard that from. Men I'm multi orgasmic though so
48:26
it can feel the same. Like as long as I'm orgasming
48:29
the build up sensation is different and gives a different
48:32
vibe if you will tell me. There's one in particular that
48:36
I'm remembering. She would always say, I want,
48:39
and I have my first orgasm tonight through intercourse.
48:42
And I go, really? She goes, yeah, because if I
48:44
have the first one orally or manually, then my orgasm through
48:48
intercourse isn't as intense. But if I have my first orgasm
48:52
through intercourse, it's much more intense.
48:55
And I want to have that first really intense one.
48:58
Then I'd love to have second, third, fourth ones.
49:00
I'm like, great. I wait.
49:02
The key there is you listened. You did not tell her you knew
49:06
better. Absolutely.
49:08
Thing I tell people all the time that I'm a voyeur.
49:12
I freely admit it. I swear to God I I still feel
49:16
like every time the first time I undress a woman it's like a
49:19
little kid at Christmas, six years old, you wake up Oh my
49:22
God, I can't wait till I have to see my presents.
49:23
You know what I mean and I still feel like I'm kind of juvenile
49:27
because I love the idea of every woman is different.
49:31
You know what I mean? And each one you're going to
49:34
have a different reaction. That's why when guys go, I'm the
49:37
greatest lover ever, Here's my routine.
49:40
If that's your feeling, then you're not a good lover because
49:42
every woman is completely different.
49:44
So I only say to women early on in a relationship, will you
49:48
masturbate for me and let me watch?
49:50
They're like right away. I know whether someone's
49:52
uptight, they're going, Oh my God, no.
49:53
Why would you want to do that? Or someone's like, oh,
49:55
absolutely. Because I'm like, OK, I'm like a
49:58
safecracker. OK, you can let me sit here and
50:01
spend 30 days figuring out how exactly the crack is safe, or
50:05
you can basically show me the combo.
50:06
When someones masturbating they're doing exactly what feels
50:11
best to them so I can tell what kind of pressure they like, what
50:14
area they like. Plus it's a complete turn off
50:16
for me and a lot of women because a lot of guys are so
50:21
self-conscious and so offended if a woman suggests something
50:25
like they're not the greatest lover that ever came down the
50:27
Pike because they've had this negative feedback before that
50:31
they feel very uncomfortable. Saying that doesn't feel right
50:33
to me because it hurts a man's feelings.
50:36
I always say to myself, I'm really glad I'm a dude.
50:39
OK? There's just so many advantages
50:41
to being a guy. But I've never understood why
50:44
not every guy thinks I have to be the strongest power lifter.
50:48
I have to bench press 400 lbs. Not every guy thinks I got to
50:51
have a vertical leap of 50 inches.
50:52
You know what I mean? Not every guy goes I got to be
50:54
the greatest golfer. When it comes to lovemaking,
50:57
every guy has to know I'm the best there ever was.
51:00
And you know, as a woman, you have to be sexual.
51:04
You have to be knowledgeable, but not too knowledgeable, not
51:07
too sexual. You know what I mean?
51:09
The double standard. Double standard.
51:12
It's like the George Clooney. It's like, oh, he was single for
51:14
so long and everyone wanted him and he was like dating around
51:17
and oh, but Jennifer. Aniston, what's wrong with her?
51:19
She can't find a man. You know the perfect.
51:22
Example. Yes, yeah.
51:24
And it's just. Unfair, but this idea that as a
51:26
woman, for your partner, you have to be a good lover but not
51:30
too good. You can't teach him anything.
51:31
I do have clients. Who see me secretly if they
51:34
don't want their partners to know they're seeking any help.
51:36
And I think that's unfair, too. There's this idea that you just
51:39
have to know. You know, no one expects an
51:42
athlete to just be born an athlete.
51:43
There's training. They go to coaches.
51:45
They put so much time and energy.
51:47
This goes back 40. 35 years I dated someone when I was full
51:51
time living in Southern California that literally went
51:54
to a seminar. There was a woman who was giving
51:57
these seminars in Santa Monica on giving good head.
52:00
And this was like 35 years ago, so you can imagine.
52:03
And she was telling me, you know, like, Oh yeah, there's
52:05
self and my girlfriends, you know, we saw this.
52:07
We signed up and I was like, that's freaking awesome.
52:10
That's someone who was really focused on her man's pleasure.
52:13
And yeah, he was like, I want to be the best I can be at this.
52:17
And there's like, a lot of guys laugh among each other.
52:19
They'll go, oh, yeah, one of the first times we're together, it's
52:22
like right before she took her hair and put the spreadsheet,
52:25
put her hair up, did all stuff. I go, that's someone who knows
52:28
that they're getting ready to do some work.
52:29
And as a guy, you want to be that same type of guy.
52:33
You really want your woman to feel like you are the center of
52:38
my universe right now. That I am totally focused on
52:42
giving you as much pleasure and the most intense orgasm as
52:45
possible. And I'm going to tell you.
52:47
As a woman, that also takes away from any shyness or
52:51
embarrassment when I feel the person is excited to be totally
52:54
focused on me. I am less self-conscious because
52:57
I don't feel like a lot of women I'm not alone in this are
53:01
thinking about being an inconvenience or feeling and.
53:05
If you. Come in with the energy of
53:07
they're not treating it as work, but as an exploration, as an
53:09
exciting thing to try. It changes the mood in the
53:12
bedroom absolutely well. I can tell you that there's a
53:16
lot of women that when you're in a relationship at first will be,
53:20
Oh, I'm uncomfortable, don't go down on me.
53:22
You know, whatever. If there's a guy that ever went,
53:24
I don't like being blown, it'd be the first one ever.
53:26
I've never ever, ever, ever had a friend or in the time I've
53:30
been working this job ever go. No, I don't like oral sex, most
53:34
favorite things ever, doing nothing and having sex.
53:36
But a lot of times a woman will go, Oh, I don't feel
53:40
comfortable. Don't go down on me.
53:42
And the first thing I'll say is, is it because your
53:45
self-conscious? Well, yeah, I don't know what
53:47
the tastes like. I don't know, maybe there's a
53:49
smell, maybe there's this, maybe there's that.
53:52
And I said give me enough credit to go.
53:55
If there was an issue, I would address it.
53:57
I'm not going to get out there and be like, Oh my God, I can't
54:00
breathe, you know what I mean? Like.
54:03
So. That's another reason I'm glad
54:05
I'm a dude. A large percentage of women are
54:07
very, very self-conscious. Yes, even I.
54:10
Get insecure I think did I say something wrong?
54:13
Am I not pretty enough? Is he no longer attracted to me?
54:16
It's something I actively have to work past and I'm in this
54:19
field. It's really funny of like being
54:21
in this work but also experiencing the same thing
54:24
every other person experiences. Well, I was going to say even
54:27
though. You're in this field, you're
54:28
still a sexual being that has a sex life.
54:32
And you really, I feel like sometimes, no wonder I'm in this
54:35
field. I know better and I still feel
54:37
this way. No wonder it's so prevalent.
54:39
Being vulnerable can. Be difficult no matter who you
54:42
are, and everything we're talking about is vulnerability
54:45
when it comes down. To it, that breaks up
54:48
relationships. People who are afraid to be
54:50
vulnerable, they don't express themselves, they never tell the
54:53
other person, and I call it layer.
54:56
Someone doesn't realize that their partner feels vulnerable
55:00
and feels like they're uncomfortable when their
55:02
partner, their male partner goes down on that.
55:04
But the male is thinking, oh, maybe they think I'm not good at
55:07
this, so I'm not going to do this anymore.
55:09
Then she feels, well, maybe he's not doing it anymore because I
55:12
do have an odor. I do have a bad and it's
55:15
layering. No one ever communicates.
55:17
And you go, well, no, I felt I didn't want to go down there
55:19
because maybe it was, he's like, no, it wasn't.
55:22
I would be doing it. But the truth never comes out.
55:25
And you both have these preconceived ideas of why not
55:28
happening and it becomes unsatisfactory and you end up
55:31
drifting. Yeah, that is the sad.
55:34
Truth of it. And the simple thing is just
55:35
communicated. But without that, yeah, the
55:37
layers, anxiety, lack of connection, everything falls
55:41
under that in these pillars. Open.
55:43
Honest. Communication is the fundamental
55:46
building block of any sexual relationship, but more
55:49
importantly, any relationship, whether it's father, daughter,
55:53
father, son, husband, wife, open, honest communication is
55:57
crucial. Jeff, we are beyond.
55:59
Time, but it has been wonderful to have you and I'm so excited
56:03
to tell everyone that if you've been interested in this, I have
56:06
a code for you. If you go to
56:07
www.promescentpromescent.com/TKC 15, you're going to get 15% off.
56:17
You'll have that link in the show notes.
56:18
I would encourage everyone to check out the website.
56:21
There is something there for you and I cannot wait to report back
56:24
on my own journey with Vitaflux. I'm looking forward.
56:27
To it. If you enjoyed this episode,
56:31
don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with
56:33
anyone who might find it interesting.
56:35
And if you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
56:38
future episodes, feel free to reach out e-mail
56:40
info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
56:45
on. Thank you for that.
56:50
And then I want to repeat, I want to say something.
56:52
I don't want to talk about my weight in 2026.
56:55
So I'm going to say that like even I get insecure.
56:58
I think, did I say something wrong?
56:59
Am I not pretty enough? Is he no longer attracted to me?
57:03
OK, Those are the two things that we just needed to record
57:06
and we're good. I'm going to stop the recording
57:08
now.