Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 106. The Man Who Believed in Me Before I Did: Behind the Curtains of A 17 Year Relationship with Ashy & Steve

Transcript

106. The Man Who Believed in Me Before I Did: Behind the Curtains of A 17 Year Relationship with Ashy & Steve · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

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Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy
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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment and
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Speaker 1: encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic
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Speaker 1: version of yourself. We help you shed the shame, grow
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Speaker 1: to a new level. We're gonna laugh and cry and
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Speaker 1: talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to
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Speaker 1: talk about. Get ready for your next level of self.
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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to She Rises. I am like
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Speaker 1: groooning ear to ear because my husband's here. Finally, finally,
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Speaker 1: Welcome Babe to the podcank you. We're very different personalities
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Speaker 1: in the sense that I'm I mean, I think I'm ambervert,
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Speaker 1: but he's very introverted. He's very private. So ambervert is
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Speaker 1: almost introverted and extroverted put together.
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Speaker 2: It's underside what you are.
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Speaker 1: No it's in the right environments, I can be extroverted,
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Speaker 1: and in the wrong environments, I'll be really introverted. He's
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Speaker 1: not a true extrovert, is just extroverted no matter what.
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Speaker 1: I'm adaptable depending on who I'm with. It's around you,
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Speaker 1: around Tiana, around my kids, super extroverted, but around like
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Speaker 1: crowded places now and new people will kind of soften
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Speaker 1: and go a bit more introverted.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm definitely more introverted, but yeah, there has
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Speaker 2: been moments where I can be.
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Speaker 1: When I first met you were actually more extroverted. But
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Speaker 1: now Steve's more like people, are you guys still together?
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Speaker 1: I never see him on camera. He's just very private.
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Speaker 1: He doesn't like sharing a lot. You don't love the camera,
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Speaker 1: more introverted, whereas I'm definitely the opposite. So for you
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Speaker 1: to be here today, I'm so grateful because I know
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Speaker 1: this is like a bit edgy for you to talk
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Speaker 1: about lots of different things.
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Speaker 2: No, I'm happy to be here.
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Speaker 1: So I'm going to start off nice and light. But
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Speaker 1: we just celebrated seventeen years together. That is wild.
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Speaker 2: Go go us hi fi.
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Speaker 1: Seventeen years. That's a long time, babe. Like literally my
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Speaker 1: whole twenties, nearly my whole thirties has been spent with you.
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Speaker 2: The first years are quite blurry, like it's been that long.
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Speaker 1: I feel like they were almost traumatic though, like we
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Speaker 1: were just so young, and speaking from myself, you helped
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Speaker 1: me so much, but I was just so lost, so
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Speaker 1: broken going through a lot with my family. I know
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Speaker 1: what I was doing, who I was, what I wanted
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Speaker 1: to do with my life. I had so many like limiting
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Speaker 1: beliefs about just.
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Speaker 2: Being Also, you're only nineteen. Yeah, I was amazed at
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Speaker 2: such a young age to get in a serious flay,
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Speaker 2: for sure.
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Speaker 1: But just to compare there to now, it's just like, Wow,
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Speaker 1: we've come so far. I have gone through so much together,
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Speaker 1: so much, learned so much. I'm so proud of us. Like, yeah,
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Speaker 1: a rut and obviously not everyone knows all about ins
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Speaker 1: and outs. But when we sit and reflect on our journey,
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Speaker 1: I'm like, holy fuck, we have done so well. Really
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Speaker 1: proud of us. But let's start off nice and light.
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Speaker 1: If you were to think of just one memory right
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Speaker 1: now that's kind of standing out for our journey of
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Speaker 1: the seventeen he's been together, is there one that prominently
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Speaker 1: stands forward, like when we got married, or we had kids,
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Speaker 1: or a certain holiday.
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Speaker 2: I think the most connecting was the last pregnancy, because
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Speaker 2: we really nailed that whole pregnancy as far as connecting,
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Speaker 2: And the biggest moment was obviously Tyler. When Tyler came
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Speaker 2: into this world and that it's a girl. You know
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Speaker 2: that that moment amongst the craziness of birth. Felt really
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Speaker 2: connected to you and it was awesome.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I felt like for me too, that was so beautiful.
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Speaker 1: I felt like, fuck, we're such a solid team, and
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Speaker 1: I just felt so held and supported and loved by
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Speaker 1: you throughout that whole thing. It was just I felt
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Speaker 1: like it was almost a new beginning and a new
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Speaker 1: chapter for us. But I felt so complete.
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Speaker 2: She brought so much to us.
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Speaker 1: She really did. Yeah, and she continues to. But you
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Speaker 1: know when people say, like, oh, you're not sure if
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Speaker 1: you want more kids, There's definitely been moments where I'm like, oh,
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Speaker 1: do I want another kid? But I felt like when
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Speaker 1: she came along and it was just the four of us,
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Speaker 1: we adapted to the being a family of four. I've
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Speaker 1: just felt so complete, like nothing's missing.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, would you go a third though?
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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Well, you've got the snip now, babe.
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Speaker 1: So chance we're talking about this last night. It's so funny.
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Speaker 1: It's probably a slight chance, but okay, So that's been
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Speaker 1: one of the best times. What would you say? Has
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Speaker 1: been one of our hardest times as a.
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Speaker 2: Couple in the relationship. It's definitely been my drinking. It's
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Speaker 2: caused a lot of, I guess trust issues because you
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Speaker 2: withheld and just the drinking is very triggering in general,
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Speaker 2: no one likes the person they are when they're drunk.
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Speaker 2: But you know, it didn't serve our relationship at all.
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Speaker 2: But happy to say, you know, we haven't had a
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Speaker 2: drink for a really a year, really a year, and
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Speaker 2: it's definitely plays its part in our why we're so
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Speaker 2: awesome now.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I'd say, like we always talk about this,
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Speaker 1: but we're better now than we ever have been.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just so hard with alcohol because I'm sure
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Speaker 2: I can speak for many blokes, but it's such a
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Speaker 2: cultural thing growing up. You know, it starts from a
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Speaker 2: very young.
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Speaker 1: Age, so socially accepted.
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Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, and it just becomes ingrained in everything you do,
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Speaker 2: whether it's socially connecting or taking the edge off stress
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Speaker 2: or you know, all those things, and.
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Speaker 1: Even nerves being in a group environment or a wedding
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Speaker 1: or something.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, all of it. And I definitely use it in
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Speaker 2: all those situations. And but yeah, it's been awesome since
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Speaker 2: I haven't. Like, it took a while to uncouple that
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Speaker 2: from my conditioning. Conditioning, Yeah, but once I've gone through it.
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Speaker 2: I really don't need it.
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Speaker 1: It's so cool to have the evidence of how much
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Speaker 1: fun we have, how much deeper our connection is. And
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Speaker 1: I think especially for a female to me growing up
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Speaker 1: with an abusive alcoholic step father, and then any flights
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Speaker 1: we would have, it would be around alcohol always. I think,
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Speaker 1: just my level of safety and trust in men this
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Speaker 1: last year, like I've just never felt more safer, more trusting,
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Speaker 1: more open, more feminine, more excited, more alive. Like it's
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Speaker 1: just literally changed the game for me. And I was
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Speaker 1: happy before with you, but like, I don't think I've
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Speaker 1: ever been as happy as what I am now.
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Speaker 2: Now we talk about there was one moment that was
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Speaker 2: the really big moment for us was when we had
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Speaker 2: our coach. I think it was Brian re time, and
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Speaker 2: we've gone through lots of coaching with him and it
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Speaker 2: was mainly about drinking. And he always said to us
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Speaker 2: that you know, drinking is going to be the thing
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Speaker 2: that breaks you guys.
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Speaker 1: Up, a break up it because of our cool and I.
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Speaker 2: Remember we went back to him for one stage and
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Speaker 2: we had a big event that happened. I can't remember
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Speaker 2: exactly what. Better was something around drinking and he gave
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Speaker 2: us the recommendation to split. He did, and somehow we
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Speaker 2: turned it around. That was massive.
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Speaker 1: There's a huge moment for a coach that had coached
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Speaker 1: us for I think close to three years, and we
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Speaker 1: had gone leaps and bounds. But yeah, we got to
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Speaker 1: this point where there was another incident where you had drank.
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Speaker 2: I think it was drinking, not be truthful about it all.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and how much.
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Speaker 2: Those lines?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And he said, I just think this is the
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Speaker 1: end of the road for you guys. And I think
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Speaker 1: I was at that point where I don't know if
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Speaker 1: any other people relate in relationships sometimes when you've gone
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Speaker 1: through so much, or you keep going through a cycle
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Speaker 1: of arguing about the same thing. It almost got to
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Speaker 1: a point where I was kind of numbed out from it,
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Speaker 1: and it's like my body had gone to this protective
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Speaker 1: mode of like I just don't have the energy to
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Speaker 1: fight this anymore.
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Speaker 2: How long ago was that now, that's probably seven or eight,
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Speaker 2: five to seven years ago.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, with Taji would have been young at least five
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Speaker 1: years ago. Long time ago. I think Brian could see
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Speaker 1: in my face. He was like, look at your wife,
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Speaker 1: she's done. And it's almost like once a woman gets
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Speaker 1: to that point where then down and they don't care anymore.
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Speaker 2: So I changed too far. So what did you say?
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Speaker 1: I think for me it was you could always own
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Speaker 1: it and say sorry, and we could talk things out.
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Speaker 1: But it got to the point where like your words
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Speaker 1: didn't penetrate me anymore when I would hear the words sorry.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, actions speak louder than way.
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Speaker 1: I needed actual change. So when that incident happened and
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Speaker 1: Brian said that, we kind of got off the call
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Speaker 1: and we're like, holy fuck, I don't even know what
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Speaker 1: to do. And I think we just left it for
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Speaker 1: a bit. And then you joined a group called Brotherhood,
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Speaker 1: and you were going there like three four times a week,
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Speaker 1: and you did training and breath work and had buddies
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Speaker 1: and you spoke about your problems and you just took
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Speaker 1: a lot of action. You got one on one coaching,
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Speaker 1: We had a beautiful therapist that we were seeing together separately.
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Speaker 1: You were just doing the work. You were actively showing
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Speaker 1: me that you wanted to change for yourself, for me,
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Speaker 1: for our family. And I think if you didn't take
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Speaker 1: that action, I probably would have left. YEP, I was done.
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Speaker 1: If you were just going to say the words again,
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Speaker 1: I don't think I could have gone. I tried again.
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Speaker 2: So, what was your hardest moment that or.
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Speaker 1: The hardest moments for us have been around alcohol?
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Speaker 2: It?
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Speaker 1: You know, there was times where when Taji was little,
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Speaker 1: and you would have a big night and not be
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Speaker 1: able to show up as a dad the next day,
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Speaker 1: or you would be sleeping in or you couldn't hold
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Speaker 1: me emotionally, and I was going through stuff, you know,
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Speaker 1: online or on my own stuff, and just felt like
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Speaker 1: we weren't united and you couldn't hold there and be
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Speaker 1: there for me the way that I needed you to be.
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Speaker 1: I felt like alcohol always just kind of came. It
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Speaker 1: was like this invisible wet It wasn't invisible. It's like
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Speaker 1: a wedge between us.
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Speaker 2: It's funny looking back now because once you're breaking that,
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Speaker 2: like I've broken that hold of alcohol, Like it has
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Speaker 2: no hold on me whatsoever anymore. How silly I felt
8:43
Speaker 2: like looking back on it because like to put all
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Speaker 2: those moments into our relationship, and I just looked back
8:49
Speaker 2: at it with a different perspective.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's interesting too, like younger me now would
8:54
Speaker 1: do things so differently. But I felt like I always
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Speaker 1: tried to make alcohol work in our relationship and there's
9:00
Speaker 1: times where it's like, okay, we need to communicate. And
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Speaker 1: then when we saw a different psychologist after that event,
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Speaker 1: it was like, okay, what's the boundaries around it. We
9:06
Speaker 1: came up with this like three drinking rule. I was like, Okay,
9:09
Speaker 1: that feels better because it's in control. But then still
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Speaker 1: we go to date night and Steve would have three drinks.
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Speaker 1: It was like this instant disconnection because it wasn't my husband.
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Speaker 2: Well I even felt the energy before that. Yeah, it
9:20
Speaker 2: was always there.
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Speaker 1: I felt like if it was to have one or two,
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Speaker 1: it was going to be more.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it just never worked for us. No, in any situation.
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Speaker 1: It's like Tiana with her she's single, and you know,
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Speaker 1: a boundary for her, she won't date a man that drinks.
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Speaker 1: It's just like it doesn't align with any of her values.
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Speaker 1: I think it got to a point too where I
9:36
Speaker 1: was just like, if you want to continue drinking. At
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Speaker 1: that point, I was like, you can you have full
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Speaker 1: free reign to go and live that life and to
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Speaker 1: do what you want to do. I just can't be
9:44
Speaker 1: a part of it anymore. And it was like that
9:46
Speaker 1: was kind of like an ultimatum, but it was just
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Speaker 1: honoring where I was out of what I needed. You know,
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Speaker 1: something that I've always joked about even did it honest, Q.
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Speaker 1: And a story last night is how you've kind of
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Speaker 1: married seven different women with me over seventeen years. I
9:57
Speaker 1: can I've married maybe three different men with you. Obviously.
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Speaker 1: When we first met, as I was saying, I was
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Speaker 1: just like this broken little girl. Oh yeah, just such
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Speaker 1: a victim, so sad, so scared, not knowing where I
10:09
Speaker 1: want to go and who I was.
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Speaker 2: I just wanted to be loved and I.
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Speaker 1: Just wanted to be loved and taken care of. And
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Speaker 1: I wanted my night shining armor to come and rescue me.
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Speaker 2: And I think from hindsight, I wanted to be that man,
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Speaker 2: you know.
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Speaker 1: And it's yeah, you created safety in you.
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Speaker 2: That was the connection at the start in our dynamic,
10:24
Speaker 2: in our relationship.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was beautiful because I was like, Wow,
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Speaker 1: for the first time in my life, I do feel
10:29
Speaker 1: so held supported. You believed in me before I ever did,
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Speaker 1: and that's something that's always stuck with me too.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think in hindsight too, I was still trying
10:36
Speaker 2: to find my way as well.
10:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're only young too.
10:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, youngish, young girl.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was twenty.
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Speaker 2: Nine years old, still a little boy at heart.
10:45
Speaker 1: So nineteen was when we met, and then like my
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Speaker 1: early twenties to my mid twenties, to my late twenties,
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Speaker 1: to having children, to having a second child, to even
10:54
Speaker 1: this last twelve months, Like I feel like I'm a
10:57
Speaker 1: completely different person now to who I was twelve months ago.
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Speaker 1: So how was that for you as my husband? Witnessing feeling,
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Speaker 1: watching evolving with me? Like that must be a wild ride?
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Speaker 2: Wild ride, yeah, and also challenging at times, because I
11:11
Speaker 2: think the biggest times when we've been disconnected is when
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Speaker 2: we've been unaligned in our journey. So whether it's work
11:18
Speaker 2: phase or growth phase or spiritual like all these different
11:21
Speaker 2: level ups and constantly trying to pull each other up
11:24
Speaker 2: to meet each other, They've been the most challenging sometimes,
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Speaker 2: Like I've just been an absolute stressy, work focused, you know,
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Speaker 2: not vibeing, almost low vibe, and you've been a high vibe.
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Speaker 2: And that's really challenging because it either brings one person
11:39
Speaker 2: down or in the best case, you try to lift
11:41
Speaker 2: the other person up. And sometimes we're really both really
11:44
Speaker 2: good at that bringing each other up, but sometimes there's
11:47
Speaker 2: a clarity there that you just can't fix or it
11:50
Speaker 2: does cause conflict.
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Speaker 1: I think these days, though, it's like we learned it off.
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Speaker 1: Brene Brown and I've spoken about it too. But like
11:57
Speaker 1: there's some days where it's like we check in and
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Speaker 1: you're like, I have nothing left on the out of ten, yeah, yeah,
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Speaker 1: one out of ten, and I'm like, go sit down,
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Speaker 1: I'll cook dinner, I'll bother the kids, whatever. And then
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Speaker 1: there's other days when I'm like, fuck, babe, I'm tapped out.
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Speaker 1: You're like, go have a sauna. Yeah, go to your room.
12:09
Speaker 1: Like last night, You're like, go have a nap, Babe, Like,
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Speaker 1: go chill. I've got the kids. So I think we're
12:13
Speaker 1: better at communicating and reading the room with each other
12:15
Speaker 1: and supporting each other. But if both are down, then
12:18
Speaker 1: it gets hard.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. But when you're both vibe and which is always
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Speaker 2: the goal of epic, you know, that's when we're at
12:23
Speaker 2: our best, you know, not looking at in our best times.
12:26
Speaker 2: We're both just high vibe, supporting each other. Both have
12:30
Speaker 2: our own thing going on as well, and we bring
12:32
Speaker 2: it together. We work really well together as well. But yeah,
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Speaker 2: I think lately we're sort of more doing our own thing.
12:38
Speaker 2: You know, we're still involved in our own whether it's
12:41
Speaker 2: hied Away or other things, but we also have our
12:44
Speaker 2: own passions as well, which.
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Speaker 1: Is really cool. Let's talk about the last twelve months,
12:49
Speaker 1: because a lot has happened. I got diagnosed with my
12:51
Speaker 1: brain aneurysms. I decided to close Baseline way more and
12:55
Speaker 1: she rises, we're looking at pulling a little bit more
12:57
Speaker 1: out of Hideaway as the most recent discussion. How's the
13:01
Speaker 1: last twelve months been for you? Because for me, it's
13:02
Speaker 1: been a fucking whirl wind. I'm like, holy shit, a
13:04
Speaker 1: lot changed.
13:06
Speaker 2: When you're in it, it's been a well wind and
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Speaker 2: crazy and roller coaster. But looking back on it, it's
13:13
Speaker 2: been the best twelve months. You know. Yeah, I'm big
13:17
Speaker 2: on universe happens for you not too and you can
13:20
Speaker 2: really see looking back how everything's perfect and how it's
13:23
Speaker 2: unfolded the way it has. But when you're in it,
13:26
Speaker 2: you're holding on for dear life and you're trying to
13:28
Speaker 2: trust and you're going through the motions of this is
13:31
Speaker 2: all going to work out for the best, and it has, so,
13:34
Speaker 2: you know, looking back now, I have really positive.
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Speaker 1: Something we always remind each other, I feel like if
13:39
Speaker 1: one person forgets, we're always good at reminding each other.
13:41
Speaker 1: And Gabby Burnsing's really helped us with this. It's just
13:43
Speaker 1: like when we're in the thick of something as one
13:46
Speaker 1: and will minded go like, we know this is happening
13:48
Speaker 1: for a reason, we just have to literally surrender here.
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Speaker 2: It's also it will pass, you know, yeah, we pass.
13:53
Speaker 1: We'll say to each other, I don't know why this
13:55
Speaker 1: is happening right now, yeah, but we're going to look
13:57
Speaker 1: back and go that's why that happened. It needed to happen.
13:59
Speaker 2: I think the hardest thing for me is the friendship
14:02
Speaker 2: breakdowns because I guess we've always from the very start
14:07
Speaker 2: of our journey on social media. We're one of the
14:10
Speaker 2: first ones in social media, and you know, you've got
14:12
Speaker 2: a really big following really quick at the start. But
14:15
Speaker 2: we learned some big lessons how we erected at the start,
14:17
Speaker 2: and one of our things is to be not put
14:21
Speaker 2: fuel on the fire. It doesn't serve anyone, doesn't serve us.
14:24
Speaker 2: And we've learned that pretty quickly at the start. So
14:27
Speaker 2: when the friendship breakdown and I saw, you know, there
14:29
Speaker 2: was a few cases there where things were thrown at
14:33
Speaker 2: you and sometimes untrue, sometimes uncalled for, sometimes an overreaction
14:37
Speaker 2: to something. And it's been really hard to sit there
14:40
Speaker 2: and watch you got that because I know the real
14:42
Speaker 2: story and the truth behind the scenes, and because I
14:45
Speaker 2: know you're such a lover. You know you wear your
14:47
Speaker 2: heart and your sleep. Especially in friendships. You're one of
14:49
Speaker 2: the best loyal friends. I know you're the first one
14:52
Speaker 2: there for a birthday cake, You're the first one to
14:54
Speaker 2: organize a dinner for someone's birthday, or you'll always attend
14:57
Speaker 2: everything and be the best friend. And you can see
15:00
Speaker 2: the people that you've drawn into your life now you
15:04
Speaker 2: know there couldn't be an more perfect for you. And
15:07
Speaker 2: you've come through the other side of that so much
15:10
Speaker 2: more of appreciation for what true friendships are and.
15:14
Speaker 1: My standards and also like solidified some of my older
15:17
Speaker 1: friends that have just been there for me. Oh, it's
15:19
Speaker 1: hard those in life. I feel like relationships, friendships, family
15:23
Speaker 1: dynamics we always talk about relationships are like one of
15:25
Speaker 1: the hardest things you have to navigate in life when
15:28
Speaker 1: you're combining two people's different worlds and opinions and wounds
15:31
Speaker 1: and triggers and experiences and thoughts and conditioning and it's
15:34
Speaker 1: like it's merged them. And when you have disagreements or
15:37
Speaker 1: things with money comes up, or big changes in life
15:40
Speaker 1: or big life challenges that you have to navigate.
15:42
Speaker 2: It's humans are messy creatures.
15:44
Speaker 1: We are really and everyone's experience is really valid. It's
15:48
Speaker 1: just going back to what you were saying. It's almost
15:50
Speaker 1: just like we've learned a way that feels really out
15:54
Speaker 1: of integrity, the right way to deal with things. Yes,
15:57
Speaker 1: never cause harm to anyone online or offline. To never
16:01
Speaker 1: exaggerate things or throw people under the bus, even if
16:04
Speaker 1: something's our truth. Let's continue this conversation with We have
16:08
Speaker 1: been online for yeah, seventeen years now when I first
16:13
Speaker 1: got with Steve and he encouraged me to do my
16:16
Speaker 1: personal training course and I started shadowing him in the
16:18
Speaker 1: boot camps and that was our first business, thee actually
16:21
Speaker 1: Wind's Being Anybody Challenge and it blew up and went crazy.
16:23
Speaker 1: We had seventy five locations across Australia. That was a
16:26
Speaker 1: really crazy busy time and we definitely made a lot
16:29
Speaker 1: of mistakes and I felt like we were very early
16:33
Speaker 1: days on Instagram and Facebook and stuff, and we copped
16:37
Speaker 1: a lot of hate and there was a really dark
16:40
Speaker 1: period for me personally, which I know it must feel
16:43
Speaker 1: like a blur because sometimes it feel like a blur
16:45
Speaker 1: to me too because it was probably like fifteen years ago.
16:48
Speaker 1: But I know over I would love to hear from
16:50
Speaker 1: you on how you felt going through it, because I've
16:52
Speaker 1: spoken about the times where Taj was only a year old,
16:56
Speaker 1: where I was not wanting to be here anymore. I
16:59
Speaker 1: felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated. There was
17:01
Speaker 1: hate pages with fifteen thousand people on there. They were
17:04
Speaker 1: five women on a roster watching my snapchats. We had
17:07
Speaker 1: a current affair sit out front of our house one
17:10
Speaker 1: day and I was holding tars shaking like There's been
17:13
Speaker 1: so many crazy moments over the years, and I remember
17:16
Speaker 1: just getting to a point where I was like, I
17:18
Speaker 1: can't see the light at the end of the time.
17:19
Speaker 1: I don't think this is ever going to end unless
17:21
Speaker 1: I end my life and then maybe they'll stop.
17:24
Speaker 2: What do you feel the gift in it is now
17:26
Speaker 2: that you're looking back like all that situation, answer you
17:29
Speaker 2: the question what is the gift like? Because there is one.
17:36
Speaker 1: I think there's been lots of beautiful gifts. I would
17:38
Speaker 1: never wish this on my worst enemy, and I wish
17:40
Speaker 1: there was other ways I could have learned it because
17:42
Speaker 1: it was really really painful and it still makes me emotional,
17:44
Speaker 1: Like go back to that time. I think it just
17:55
Speaker 1: makes me emotional because it was like we'd Taji and
17:57
Speaker 1: it like really impacted everything then. But okay, the gifts.
18:03
Speaker 1: I think I'm very sillient now, like I'm super super strong,
18:08
Speaker 1: and I think I'll be well equipped to help Taj
18:11
Speaker 1: and Tala if they ever experienced something like this. Even
18:15
Speaker 1: now it's Tiana, like I feel like I can hold
18:17
Speaker 1: her and stuff that comes through. Maybe I had a
18:19
Speaker 1: lot of compassion where people are at and understand that
18:22
Speaker 1: her people hurt people and healed people, heal people, and
18:25
Speaker 1: just to try to always come from a place of
18:27
Speaker 1: understanding as to why they're doing the things they.
18:29
Speaker 2: Do and never believe the media.
18:31
Speaker 1: Never believe the media. It taught me a lot about
18:34
Speaker 1: where I was playing victim. I took on a lot
18:36
Speaker 1: of the constructive criticism and tried to see how I
18:40
Speaker 1: can improve my communication, Can you improve not reacting? How
18:43
Speaker 1: I can try and see both sides. It made me
18:47
Speaker 1: who I am today, I.
18:48
Speaker 2: Think too looking back. Besides all the like. There was
18:51
Speaker 2: a lot of mistakes made business wise, like you know,
18:54
Speaker 2: how quickly we pushed and scoured without doing the final
18:58
Speaker 2: details and systems, And yeah, there's a lot of lessons there.
19:02
Speaker 2: But from a growth point of view, one of the
19:04
Speaker 2: biggest things that we got out of because we were struggling.
19:06
Speaker 2: That was a real heavy period and we were quite
19:09
Speaker 2: inexperienced in all areas of life. But we went and
19:12
Speaker 2: joined Tony Robbinson we had in Platinum and it was
19:15
Speaker 2: the start of our personal development and we sort of
19:17
Speaker 2: haven't stopped since. Yeah, and that really gave us a
19:21
Speaker 2: really good jolt to get onto that train. Even though
19:23
Speaker 2: we're you know, we're into fitness and we're positive, happy people,
19:28
Speaker 2: but little you know, how much have we learned since
19:31
Speaker 2: then because we started that path. That's what I take
19:34
Speaker 2: out of it.
19:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, There's been so many tools and skills that
19:38
Speaker 1: I had to learn throughout that journey that now served
19:41
Speaker 1: me in my life. Now. I wouldn't be who I
19:43
Speaker 1: am today without all of that because it forced me
19:45
Speaker 1: to look with it, and it forced me to do
19:47
Speaker 1: the work, forced me to take care of myself, not
19:49
Speaker 1: just physically, but my nervous system. There's been lots of
19:52
Speaker 1: gifts in that. But back to the question on you,
19:55
Speaker 1: how was that as a husband watching the person that
19:59
Speaker 1: you love the most, the mother of your son, watching
20:01
Speaker 1: me day in day out, like contemplating whether I'm you
20:05
Speaker 1: being here?
20:06
Speaker 2: Oh, it was so hard and words can't describe how
20:09
Speaker 2: of a tough situation it was. And I felt really
20:12
Speaker 2: helpless because there was a lot of external forces. I
20:15
Speaker 2: also felt a little bit responsible too, because I was
20:19
Speaker 2: running the businesses and so on as well some of
20:21
Speaker 2: the mistakes that were made, et cetera. But I felt
20:24
Speaker 2: really helpless would probably be the word. Never experienced anything like.
20:27
Speaker 1: That before, learning as well and trying to be a
20:29
Speaker 1: new dad all of it.
20:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a big period of our life.
20:33
Speaker 1: And how you supported me back then compared to like, say,
20:36
Speaker 1: how you supported me last year going through something online,
20:39
Speaker 1: how do you feel as different? What do you do
20:41
Speaker 1: now that you didn't do back all?
20:42
Speaker 2: The question totally different. But I'm definitely a lot better
20:47
Speaker 2: at holding space for you, like disallowing it to be,
20:50
Speaker 2: like not trying to fix it as much, which is
20:53
Speaker 2: you know something that has been learned being a masculine man,
20:57
Speaker 2: we have that pool to want to fix and sometimes
21:01
Speaker 2: really it's just about letting those emotions play out and
21:04
Speaker 2: you know, create a space for you to feel that,
21:07
Speaker 2: whether that's taking the stress away from experience certain things,
21:11
Speaker 2: giving you some time I know exactly what you need
21:13
Speaker 2: to fill your cup up, you know, whether it's a
21:15
Speaker 2: stay cave with the girls, or a dinner with me,
21:18
Speaker 2: or simple as a mess, I know, the little things.
21:20
Speaker 2: But but just giving you that time to feel it
21:23
Speaker 2: all and want it's you. You really good at doing that,
21:26
Speaker 2: allowing that time to feel it. And I feel like
21:29
Speaker 2: these days it's a lot quicker process of getting back
21:33
Speaker 2: on your feet.
21:33
Speaker 1: You know.
21:34
Speaker 2: It's not that there's challenges, aren't there, but you have
21:36
Speaker 2: your toolkit and you go through it and I sort
21:39
Speaker 2: of plug into that.
21:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, And back then we were first learning, Like I
21:42
Speaker 1: remember the point where you booked Alexi and Presston. It
21:44
Speaker 1: was like fifty grand or something. It didn't even hesitate
21:47
Speaker 1: because I was at the point where I'm like I'm
21:48
Speaker 1: actually fucking done.
21:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, on the.
21:50
Speaker 1: Floor, like in a ball, just crying and screaming, and
21:53
Speaker 1: you got them on a phone call and that was
21:54
Speaker 1: like such a big moment for me having both them
21:57
Speaker 1: hold me. So it's like when you didn't know how
21:58
Speaker 1: to support, you got help, whereas yeah, these days, I agree,
22:01
Speaker 1: it definitely can see things from a different perspective. And
22:04
Speaker 1: I know it's not the end, and I trust that
22:05
Speaker 1: everything's happening for a reason. But I think anyone listening
22:09
Speaker 1: and any husband's listening to what you said about just
22:11
Speaker 1: holding space. Like I remember last year when I was
22:13
Speaker 1: going through the friendship stuff, like I would literally just
22:15
Speaker 1: sit on the couch at night, get to the end
22:17
Speaker 1: of the day when I'm done being busy and I'm
22:19
Speaker 1: done being a parent and everything stops and slows down,
22:22
Speaker 1: I would just cry and cry and cry and cry,
22:26
Speaker 1: and just having you hold me and remind me that
22:28
Speaker 1: I'm okay and that everything's going to be okay, and
22:30
Speaker 1: just like just let me get rid of that energy
22:33
Speaker 1: out of my body that speeds it up for me,
22:36
Speaker 1: and just I think it's really important to just feel it,
22:38
Speaker 1: because I think I used to try and keep busy
22:40
Speaker 1: and suppress it and tell myself okay, and I got
22:42
Speaker 1: to show up online. I don't want them to know
22:43
Speaker 1: that it's bothering me all that. Yeah, that true. So, yeah,
22:48
Speaker 1: it's really beautiful. How we navigate that kind of stuff now.
22:51
Speaker 1: And you know what, like, when you put yourself out
22:54
Speaker 1: there online, you are opening yourself up to a lot
22:56
Speaker 1: of criticism and judgment and opinions on what you're doing
22:58
Speaker 1: is wrong and right and all the things. And you
23:00
Speaker 1: got to be able to hold it. Anyone with a
23:02
Speaker 1: big following is going to have that, and it's not
23:06
Speaker 1: for the faint hearted, but I think over time you
23:08
Speaker 1: get better at holding it, which is cool. Let's move
23:11
Speaker 1: on that switch lanes with its kind of the last
23:13
Speaker 1: twelve months too. But I have had two brain aneurysms,
23:17
Speaker 1: and it's crazy because you have actually had a brain aurism.
23:19
Speaker 1: So we now have to get our children tested from
23:21
Speaker 1: twelve years old because it's highly likely they will also
23:25
Speaker 1: be developing brain aneurysms, which is scary. But they've all
23:28
Speaker 1: heard about my brain aneurism journey, and I've briefly said
23:30
Speaker 1: about yours. Yours was ten times more hectic than mine.
23:34
Speaker 1: So was it age nine or ten when they found yours?
23:37
Speaker 1: And how did they find it?
23:38
Speaker 2: Yeah? So middle of high school I started fainting school
23:42
Speaker 2: football fields, that sort of stuff, having seizures a lot,
23:46
Speaker 2: and like physical fits and stuff. But I'd have these
23:49
Speaker 2: like I blackout, so I'd call it so I'd lose
23:52
Speaker 2: my sight after my last one on old face first
23:55
Speaker 2: and knocked all my teeth out, got rushed to hospital,
23:58
Speaker 2: et cetera. And then they did the skin and it
24:00
Speaker 2: was actually a size of a golf ball, like a
24:02
Speaker 2: It's called an ABM, which is a tier of ascular massification. Anyways,
24:06
Speaker 2: it's like all blood vessels, all sort of some.
24:09
Speaker 1: Mini aneurysms coming together as one.
24:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's matted into a ball. So your one
24:13
Speaker 2: was one vessel. One was like a collection I guess,
24:17
Speaker 2: matted into a golf ball. It was a little bit
24:20
Speaker 2: too big to operate because it was right on my
24:22
Speaker 2: eyesight side. There's a good chance I'd lose my eyesight,
24:25
Speaker 2: so right, well, yeah, there's also that as well. But
24:29
Speaker 2: I held off because it wasn't quite there the technology,
24:32
Speaker 2: I don't think.
24:32
Speaker 1: When I was your mum said no surge would operate
24:35
Speaker 1: on you.
24:35
Speaker 2: And I was a bit too risky, so I had
24:37
Speaker 2: to wait, and I think I waited ten years with it. Yeah,
24:41
Speaker 2: but it had a big effect on not being able
24:43
Speaker 2: to do football or surf or like do things that
24:47
Speaker 2: I loved.
24:48
Speaker 1: I have to go on medication for the fit.
24:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did. I was on demands a man or
24:51
Speaker 2: something like that. You know, technology improved and I got
24:54
Speaker 2: my operation and that was pretty scary because I could
24:58
Speaker 2: have lost my sight and that operation and I had
25:00
Speaker 2: to go into it knowing that, but it was a
25:03
Speaker 2: ticking time bomb, you know, so I had to do it.
25:05
Speaker 2: So when you got yours, it was crazy experience because
25:09
Speaker 2: you had visual stuff as well at the start, which
25:12
Speaker 2: was what I was getting, so it was very surreal.
25:15
Speaker 2: I also felt comfortable with how awesome our doctors were.
25:18
Speaker 1: And how quite calm throughout all my stuff.
25:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really awesome operation. Yeah, how they can
25:24
Speaker 2: do the things they do.
25:25
Speaker 1: These they compared to mine, Like, let's go back to yours.
25:27
Speaker 1: So like mine, I went in. It's an hour operation.
25:31
Speaker 1: I have twenty four hours in the ICU. Two more
25:33
Speaker 1: night's keyhole through my wrist and I'm out of there.
25:37
Speaker 2: Steves, They've literally took my cap off my head.
25:40
Speaker 1: His scars like from the top of his head all
25:42
Speaker 1: the way down to the bottom and tell us about
25:44
Speaker 1: your recovery.
25:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was coma. Yeah, well that was induced camera
25:48
Speaker 2: for because obviously taking your skull off is quite intense. Yeah,
25:52
Speaker 2: for ages eight? Was it something like that?
25:55
Speaker 1: When you woke up you couldn't see none.
25:57
Speaker 2: For a while, which was the scariest bit. I guess
26:00
Speaker 2: you just didn't know whether your site would come back.
26:02
Speaker 1: I remember you saying to me every day you would
26:04
Speaker 1: wake up and hope to see again, and it was like, oh,
26:06
Speaker 1: I can't see, I can't see. Oh my gosh, it's great,
26:08
Speaker 1: it's great. It's blurry. It's blurry. Is that a color?
26:11
Speaker 1: And every day you got like progress. But it was
26:12
Speaker 1: about six weeks and then when you finally could see,
26:15
Speaker 1: but you're in hospital for months?
26:17
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, months?
26:19
Speaker 1: And how was that? That's traumatic?
26:21
Speaker 2: Well, the first bits of blur because you're just so
26:23
Speaker 2: drugged up. Then the next bit's just that recovery part.
26:26
Speaker 1: And then when you came out of hospital, did you
26:28
Speaker 1: have to live life pretty differently?
26:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wasn't really working for six months and then
26:33
Speaker 2: slowly integrate back into normal.
26:36
Speaker 1: Yeah.
26:37
Speaker 2: I have no problems with it now.
26:39
Speaker 1: Every now and again you get a little black out.
26:41
Speaker 2: Yes, so I have that little bit of epilepsy.
26:44
Speaker 1: Sit on the couch and o'h notice, I'll look over
26:46
Speaker 1: and his eyes will be closing like you're good. He's
26:48
Speaker 1: like yeah, and it'll be like twenty second blackout where
26:50
Speaker 1: he just has to stay still and breathe.
26:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's from stress, Like when I'm stressed.
26:54
Speaker 1: It comes on the way you explained it to me
26:56
Speaker 1: was really good because I recently had I thought was
26:58
Speaker 1: a mini seizure. Right. I sat up on the couch.
27:01
Speaker 1: This is after my surgery too, and my eyes started
27:04
Speaker 1: to roll back and my hand was like flickering, and
27:06
Speaker 1: I remember just like I knew something was happening, but
27:09
Speaker 1: I couldn't control it. And the way you explained it
27:11
Speaker 1: was like when you're really stressed and your body's going
27:13
Speaker 1: through so much. It's almost like a computer that has
27:15
Speaker 1: a thousand tabs open and would you say the electricity.
27:19
Speaker 2: Or the short circuit, almost like a electrical stimulation. It's
27:23
Speaker 2: just like overload overload.
27:26
Speaker 1: And I noticed it too. It now, if I'm really
27:28
Speaker 1: stressed or I haven't had enough sleep, I'll start to
27:30
Speaker 1: have my visuals go again.
27:31
Speaker 2: Yeah.
27:32
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's crazy.
27:33
Speaker 2: That we jolt to say slow down and it is breathed.
27:37
Speaker 2: You know.
27:37
Speaker 1: It's just incredible that our body gives us those messages,
27:40
Speaker 1: even me losing my sight those three times in that week.
27:43
Speaker 1: It was like, I thought it was a tight knick
27:44
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then you're like, no, go to the doctor.
27:46
Speaker 2: Yeah.
27:47
Speaker 1: What he was saying to me like you're not okay,
27:49
Speaker 1: And thank god I did, because anyone with the aneurysm,
27:52
Speaker 1: you're literally a walking time bomb.
27:53
Speaker 2: It's so common to you guys.
27:55
Speaker 1: One. Yeah, it's crazy with aneurysm. And it's crazy because
27:59
Speaker 1: all of my father's side have dropped dead from aneurysms
28:02
Speaker 1: and you've had them.
28:03
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's just a lot of people don't know
28:05
Speaker 2: they've got it until they had a stroke, you know.
28:08
Speaker 2: So if you get symptoms, which is you had your eyes.
28:11
Speaker 2: I had my eyes as well, they're great because it
28:14
Speaker 2: gives you an opportunity to find it.
28:16
Speaker 1: A stroke, you can survive. You can just lose like
28:18
Speaker 1: the left side or the ability to left side. But
28:20
Speaker 1: if it rupture, because they told me, if mine ruptures
28:22
Speaker 1: in a shopping center, by the time an ambulance comes
28:25
Speaker 1: and takes to the hospital, I'm gone.
28:26
Speaker 2: Stroke is a rupture.
28:28
Speaker 1: So it just depends on the size of the rupture.
28:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's a small bleed or a big bleed.
28:33
Speaker 1: Some of them saying because my first aneurism on my
28:36
Speaker 1: right hand side, and they said, if you would have
28:37
Speaker 1: a stroke, you'd lose the ability to use your left
28:39
Speaker 1: side of your body and vice versa. But they said
28:42
Speaker 1: if it was to completely burst, I wouldn't make it.
28:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's be a high flow flow.
28:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so yeah, crazy, We're gonna have to get
28:49
Speaker 1: our kids tested and like putting them through an MRI
28:52
Speaker 1: like that just seems so scary.
28:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll be old enough though, or twelve. Oh, yes,
28:57
Speaker 2: that's the time.
28:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, my surgeon time. We have to get them in
28:59
Speaker 1: at a twelve. Hopefully they kind of see. It's like
29:00
Speaker 1: a we're going into rocket ship and it's fun. But
29:03
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is a deep question. Do you
29:08
Speaker 1: love your life? If not entirely, what would you change
29:11
Speaker 1: or adjust? Obviously you've got the best wife, so they
29:15
Speaker 1: don't need to change anything. Yeah, kids, No, I.
29:19
Speaker 2: Love my life. Yeah, you always want more of the
29:22
Speaker 2: good things. If I could have my dreams, I'd have
29:27
Speaker 2: my dream scenario would be all our friends and close
29:31
Speaker 2: family brought houses on the same street and would have like,
29:35
Speaker 2: say where we live now, that whole street and everyone's
29:37
Speaker 2: in that and you have that community, and like, even
29:39
Speaker 2: in our little community, we have some great neighbors and
29:42
Speaker 2: we will get on the street and and kick a
29:45
Speaker 2: footy or whatever. But imagine that that would be pretty
29:47
Speaker 2: epic because I think at theer I get, the less
29:50
Speaker 2: community I probably have around me. We've got an awesome family,
29:54
Speaker 2: et cetera. But yeah, sort of missing that.
29:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what you mean. Do you think you
29:59
Speaker 1: would change your.
30:00
Speaker 2: Work or are you happy with my work gets better
30:03
Speaker 2: as I get older. I feel really loving my work
30:05
Speaker 2: at the moment. I've gone through lots of tough periods
30:08
Speaker 2: with it but stuck it through and I'm really proud
30:10
Speaker 2: of where it is at the moment. Yeah, well, and
30:14
Speaker 2: loving the journey at the moment.
30:15
Speaker 1: Would you want more freedom?
30:16
Speaker 2: I've got pretty good freedom, I feel, Yeah, you want
30:19
Speaker 2: to travel more? Yeah, but that will happen. I'm on
30:23
Speaker 2: that path, I know.
30:24
Speaker 1: For me, I'm like, I could not do what you do.
30:25
Speaker 1: I'm an admiration of how you hold it. The stress,
30:30
Speaker 1: the analytical brain, the managing the team, leading the team,
30:33
Speaker 1: the ideas, Like I just put in a pedestal with
30:36
Speaker 1: how you're a business absolutely incredible. I could not do
30:38
Speaker 1: what you do so my head, I'm like, oh, I
30:40
Speaker 1: can't wait to one day maybe we sell high away
30:42
Speaker 1: and you can just like live your life and retire.
30:44
Speaker 1: But when I suggest that to you, you're always like,
30:46
Speaker 1: but I don't want that.
30:47
Speaker 2: I like that you spend so much time getting it
30:50
Speaker 2: to a point. Everything I do is consciously trying to
30:52
Speaker 2: build into that structure where I want it to be.
30:55
Speaker 2: So to get it to that point and then sell it,
30:58
Speaker 2: it's like I just got to hear. It's kind of like,
31:01
Speaker 2: I mean, we do it in houses. You when you
31:03
Speaker 2: want to sell it, you end up fixing all the
31:05
Speaker 2: things you want to fix up, and then then you
31:07
Speaker 2: end up selling it, but you didn't get to enjoy
31:09
Speaker 2: the the nice, polished things that you want to do.
31:13
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean one day, personally, i'd like to
31:16
Speaker 2: have more freedom. But I'm on that track.
31:18
Speaker 1: So you like where you're at.
31:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a journey, not the destination, as it's really important.
31:23
Speaker 2: I can see the path clearly, goal of what you
31:25
Speaker 2: want it to be. Yeah, and I can see we're
31:27
Speaker 2: on that path. So it's I think for me, suffering
31:30
Speaker 2: or unhappiness is when you don't have progress, but you
31:34
Speaker 2: also don't have a clear way of getting on too progress.
31:38
Speaker 2: But when I feel really happy is when I'm progressing.
31:40
Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter as long as you feel like
31:43
Speaker 2: you're progressing it. I think Tony's taught us that, Yeah
31:45
Speaker 2: he did.
31:46
Speaker 1: You feel dead inside if you're not making progress.
31:47
Speaker 2: Progress and progress equals happiness. Yeah, So as long as
31:51
Speaker 2: I'm on that progress strain, I'm happy. And one thing
31:53
Speaker 2: I found for myself, like if I have too much
31:56
Speaker 2: free time, too much like no purpose, I tend to
32:00
Speaker 2: go off the rails a little bit. You know. I
32:02
Speaker 2: think I need that in my life.
32:04
Speaker 1: Some thing of just needing a purpose and drive.
32:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I can only speak for myself. What do
32:09
Speaker 2: you think?
32:10
Speaker 1: I think it's ingrained and men to want to have purpose,
32:12
Speaker 1: and you have that drive to want to provide and
32:14
Speaker 1: protect and have something to get outside of your A.
32:16
Speaker 2: Pretty hustle, bustle, purpose driven girl.
32:19
Speaker 1: I feel I have had to be that since I
32:23
Speaker 1: was young, to kind of take care of myself and
32:25
Speaker 1: being out a home quite young and out of fear
32:28
Speaker 1: and distrust in masculine men. But now my hustle feels different.
32:32
Speaker 1: There's definitely goals, for sure, but I feel like I've
32:34
Speaker 1: got this beautiful balance of the feminine masculine energy within
32:36
Speaker 1: my business where it's there's goals and things you want
32:39
Speaker 1: to achieve, but it's very heart led and it's still
32:41
Speaker 1: got flow and there's still freedom, and there's like there's
32:44
Speaker 1: no pressure.
32:45
Speaker 2: She's a lifestyle.
32:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's born and it keeps flourishing through passion.
32:51
Speaker 1: It's not like Baseline felt, you know, it's just really different. So, yeah,
32:55
Speaker 1: that hustle girls always in me, and I love that
32:57
Speaker 1: part of myself and that drive, but it's to make
32:59
Speaker 1: impact and that feels really cool. But I've got flow
33:03
Speaker 1: and freedom in there too, because I'm a sagy and
33:05
Speaker 1: we love freedom. Also, a very common question that I
33:08
Speaker 1: always get asked, and I don't really know how to
33:10
Speaker 1: explain it, like what is your role in Hideaway? What exactly?
33:12
Speaker 2: Director? And I guess my skill sets marketing and advertising,
33:17
Speaker 2: so but also running the day to day all the
33:20
Speaker 2: things that a director will do.
33:21
Speaker 1: Would you say that you've always been entrepreneurial back in
33:24
Speaker 1: the day when you started selling beer as a teenagers
33:26
Speaker 1: that it started tell us.
33:30
Speaker 2: I've always been fearful or in lack, you know, like
33:35
Speaker 2: always had to look after myself and hustle to make
33:39
Speaker 2: ends meet, so that carries across in life. I appreciate
33:42
Speaker 2: that upbringing because it's me who I am today. But
33:45
Speaker 2: carrying that on I think it served me well. But
33:48
Speaker 2: it's also the entrepreneur side of me is a little
33:51
Speaker 2: bit gone these days because when I was at my
33:54
Speaker 2: peak entrepreneur, I do a thousand different businessess creating, and
33:58
Speaker 2: it was so limiting when I look back at it,
34:00
Speaker 2: because doing one thing good is so much better. So
34:04
Speaker 2: true that one of the big factors in baseline closing
34:07
Speaker 2: for me, Like I just did not want to run
34:09
Speaker 2: two businesses. It was really difficult to do that. It's different, Yeah,
34:15
Speaker 2: I would say I'm an entrepreneur, but not the crazy
34:18
Speaker 2: entrepreneur was.
34:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's changed and evolved the way that you do
34:21
Speaker 1: business and the way you see it. You definitely had
34:24
Speaker 1: our toes dipped in too many, so many things over
34:26
Speaker 1: the years, but it all served its purpose, right.
34:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.
34:29
Speaker 1: What's it like working with your wife? We've wrote together
34:31
Speaker 1: for seventeen years. Now.
34:32
Speaker 2: Do you want the good or the bad?
34:34
Speaker 1: Both?
34:35
Speaker 2: We work really well together. We both appreciate what we
34:39
Speaker 2: bring to.
34:40
Speaker 1: The party, respect each other's roles.
34:42
Speaker 2: When it has been a problem. It's when we probably
34:46
Speaker 2: don't do that.
34:46
Speaker 1: It's more at the start.
34:48
Speaker 2: I love you know, at the situation, at the moment
34:50
Speaker 2: I get to come down and because you work on
34:52
Speaker 2: Shoe Rises downstairs of our office, so I get to
34:54
Speaker 2: come down and give your kiss. And during the day
34:56
Speaker 2: that's nice. And you do a great job for Hideaway, Like,
35:00
Speaker 2: I love what you bring to the table. You bring
35:02
Speaker 2: things that I can't, so I really appreciate.
35:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. We've both got such different strengths and bring
35:08
Speaker 1: them together. It's like magic.
35:10
Speaker 2: It's so cool.
35:11
Speaker 1: I love what I've been aw to bring to Hideaway too,
35:13
Speaker 1: And I always felt a bit of guilt when I
35:14
Speaker 1: had Baseline that I couldn't help harder.
35:16
Speaker 2: I's been vice versa.
35:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been really nice to be able to inject
35:21
Speaker 1: my creativity, my energy, my face, my platform, my ideas
35:25
Speaker 1: and emerge that. But we are thinking of pulling me
35:28
Speaker 1: away a little bit. My goal and Tiana's goal is
35:31
Speaker 1: to be able to do she Rises full time.
35:33
Speaker 2: That's yeah, sure, we love it.
35:35
Speaker 1: We've got like exact figures, goals, projects, numbers, and I
35:39
Speaker 1: just it's so crazy. Everything we've done, it's just flowed
35:41
Speaker 1: and I just know what's going to happen, So we're
35:44
Speaker 1: looking at that and yeah, I was scared to go
35:46
Speaker 1: to Steve about this because I felt bad once again
35:48
Speaker 1: that like I feel like, how do I need it?
35:49
Speaker 1: And I was just casually talking to Steve about part
35:52
Speaker 1: of the role that I do in Hyder and I
35:54
Speaker 1: was like, I just don't love doing this part of it.
35:56
Speaker 1: He was like, so why do you keep doing it?
35:58
Speaker 1: That's like maneuver and I was like really, He's like, yeah,
36:00
Speaker 1: what does that look like for you? It's just like
36:02
Speaker 1: two minute conversation of like why was I scared to
36:04
Speaker 1: bring that to you? It was really good.
36:06
Speaker 2: I think in the past there has been times where
36:08
Speaker 2: we have needed you, but yeah, we're not quite there
36:11
Speaker 2: as much anymore, no, which is great.
36:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was times was reliant on.
36:15
Speaker 2: Me to do a post, post or just your content
36:18
Speaker 2: all the time. Yeah, because you're so great at it
36:20
Speaker 2: and it works.
36:21
Speaker 1: I do love a lot of it, but I feel
36:23
Speaker 1: like my heart's really more she rises now. It can
36:26
Speaker 1: be quite repetitive sometimes sometimes, Yeah, where do you see
36:30
Speaker 1: us in five years? Been together seventeen years? Obviously you'll
36:32
Speaker 1: be a bit more gray, big new house, Yeah, we're
36:36
Speaker 1: really looking for.
36:36
Speaker 2: It's more family holidays. In five, five years or a
36:41
Speaker 2: bit older, we're going to be traveling so much. Heaps,
36:43
Speaker 2: traveling heaps using our Amex points, lots of holidays, Yeah,
36:50
Speaker 2: lots of travel with kids. I want to travel the
36:52
Speaker 2: world with kids.
36:53
Speaker 1: Steve always said something to me, and it's stuck with
36:54
Speaker 1: me because I think you're right, and not every parent's
36:56
Speaker 1: going to agree and everyone goes traveling different ages. We
36:59
Speaker 1: found once Times turned four, he was just so good
37:02
Speaker 1: to travel with because he's not having the naps, he's
37:04
Speaker 1: more regulated, he can remember things, he's up for more adventures.
37:07
Speaker 1: It's just like felt easier. So Tala is three now,
37:11
Speaker 1: and then we were talking last night, were like, oh
37:13
Speaker 1: my gosh, next winter, going to move to Balley for
37:15
Speaker 1: a month or go to Dubai for a couple of
37:18
Speaker 1: weeks and then the mal dives because sur dream location
37:20
Speaker 1: take kids to our lives or do we do a
37:22
Speaker 1: Europe trip, Like, we can't wait to just take them
37:24
Speaker 1: to see the world.
37:25
Speaker 2: It's going to be so fun.
37:26
Speaker 1: From we're really looking forward to it. So lately lately
37:33
Speaker 1: your wifey, I'm a little bit more spicy, I'm a
37:36
Speaker 1: lot more sexual and free and open, and I just
37:41
Speaker 1: feel really alive and different now. I don't know, but
37:45
Speaker 1: it just feels really good. And I feel like even
37:48
Speaker 1: for us and our intimacy and where we're at, it's
37:50
Speaker 1: like better than it ever has been. And that is crazy.
37:53
Speaker 1: After seventeen years, you think you'd be like kind of
37:55
Speaker 1: bored with the same person, but it's like the complete opposite.
37:58
Speaker 1: Wats your beliefs around. I think I've kind of been
38:01
Speaker 1: on this path right for a while and learning off
38:03
Speaker 1: like people like makes you and listening to podcasts and
38:05
Speaker 1: wanting to be more free.
38:07
Speaker 2: I'd like to say it's something I've done, but I
38:09
Speaker 2: don't think so. I think it's more you're becoming a
38:13
Speaker 2: little bit more open with who you really are. You're
38:17
Speaker 2: shedding some old limitations and who you should be, what
38:21
Speaker 2: you should do, what you should be seen as you know,
38:24
Speaker 2: and I think you're finally starting to drop a bit
38:27
Speaker 2: of that, whether it's you know, should be the good
38:29
Speaker 2: girl or the yeah, all those things.
38:32
Speaker 1: All that, all the hats that I felt like I
38:34
Speaker 1: had to be seen it.
38:34
Speaker 2: I'd like to say I'm this ninja we I would
38:41
Speaker 2: like to say that that I think it's you.
38:43
Speaker 1: I have spoken about this on the podcast, so like
38:45
Speaker 1: you and Megs, you have been really good for me
38:47
Speaker 1: in that sense because you are someone who has been
38:50
Speaker 1: always very open sexually, like you've had no sexual shame.
38:54
Speaker 1: It's a conversation you can have with anyone and talk
38:56
Speaker 1: about it, and it's kind of helped me be like, oh,
38:58
Speaker 1: this doesn't have to be so taboo, doesn't have to
39:00
Speaker 1: be dirty or shameful. And it's only now that I'm like,
39:04
Speaker 1: let's talk more, let's.
39:05
Speaker 2: Explore More's it's an age thing.
39:07
Speaker 1: Maybe, but it's fun. You're having fun.
39:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been great.
39:12
Speaker 1: It's like how much do I talk about here? Okay,
39:16
Speaker 1: we're going to wrap it up. But one thing that's
39:18
Speaker 1: always just like stayed in my heart and what I'm
39:21
Speaker 1: like so grateful for you is I'd love to know
39:24
Speaker 1: why or how because I couldn't see it. But it's
39:28
Speaker 1: the title of this whole podcast is like the man
39:30
Speaker 1: who believed in me before I ever believed in myself,
39:33
Speaker 1: When you first met me and encouraged me and pushed
39:36
Speaker 1: me and believed in me, Like why did you? Because
39:39
Speaker 1: I was fully, deep rootedly in a belief that I
39:42
Speaker 1: would never be anyone make anything of myself succeed. I
39:46
Speaker 1: was always going to struggle. I was always hard done by.
39:48
Speaker 1: It was the ugliest, the dumbest person in the room.
39:50
Speaker 1: I had all these crazy stories about myself, and it's
39:53
Speaker 1: like you saw this light in me that I could
39:55
Speaker 1: never see.
39:57
Speaker 2: I think I could see those things that you were
40:00
Speaker 2: talking to yourself about. You had these limitations, So I
40:03
Speaker 2: just had a real big challenge just knocking it out,
40:06
Speaker 2: you know, like I just whether it was putting you
40:09
Speaker 2: in uncomfortable situations or I was really good at that myself.
40:13
Speaker 2: I felt like I wouldn't say I'm the most skillful
40:15
Speaker 2: or talented person in the world, but I always give
40:18
Speaker 2: things a crack without caring about failing or whatever to
40:21
Speaker 2: my own deterents sometimes. But I could see your potential too,
40:24
Speaker 2: I could see your heart. I could see the gifts
40:27
Speaker 2: that you had to give, and yeah, I just put
40:29
Speaker 2: my own experience of life into practice with you emotional
40:34
Speaker 2: Oh so nice.
40:36
Speaker 1: I love you, And it's just always stuck me. I
40:38
Speaker 1: always reflected, I'm like fuck, I like literally would not
40:41
Speaker 1: even be able to talk right now with a microphone
40:44
Speaker 1: in my face, with cameras on me, I.
40:45
Speaker 2: Remember, Yeah, just a quick memory comes back, like the
40:49
Speaker 2: Bikini Body Challenge. You know, she was killing it on
40:51
Speaker 2: the bikini stage, winning all these comps, and let's do it,
40:54
Speaker 2: Bikini Body Challenge. I just need this quick video and
40:56
Speaker 2: then I can market it online. And it was just
40:59
Speaker 2: I ended up getting a studio and you just bored
41:02
Speaker 2: your eyes out for like an hour for like this
41:04
Speaker 2: script and end up not doing it because we just
41:06
Speaker 2: couldn't get it done. Ended up doing a car I
41:09
Speaker 2: found another way of a cartoon and I've got these Yeah,
41:12
Speaker 2: I've got these cartoon designers to write this animation and
41:15
Speaker 2: I got a voice over instead because it could and
41:18
Speaker 2: it absolutely blew up. It was like the craziest Yeah,
41:21
Speaker 2: and now look at you.
41:23
Speaker 1: Those fights were continuous, like oh, we would have girls
41:25
Speaker 1: get amazing results. And Stee's like, this is back in
41:27
Speaker 1: the day when Faceboo would allow you to post transformations. Okay,
41:30
Speaker 1: we're gonna put the transformation on the screen. You're going
41:32
Speaker 1: to talk about who the girl is the results. And
41:34
Speaker 1: I would get in front of the camera to fucking
41:36
Speaker 1: cry and then take it out and Steve get so angry,
41:39
Speaker 1: and I was like, you're making me do this.
41:41
Speaker 2: I can't do it.
41:42
Speaker 1: I'm so dumb, I'm so ugly. And then i'd watch
41:44
Speaker 1: it back and the videographer at the time too, like
41:46
Speaker 1: he wouldn't edit videos. So I fucked up so bad.
41:49
Speaker 1: If I fucked up, I'd start all over again. And
41:52
Speaker 1: I hated it. And I'm just like so grateful that
41:55
Speaker 1: you kept pushing. And there were so many other situations
41:57
Speaker 1: where you just pushed me and I had no choice
41:59
Speaker 1: to step up because I just would not have the
42:02
Speaker 1: resilience I have now, the confidence I have. Avery, we're
42:05
Speaker 1: going to wrap it up, but thank you for believing
42:07
Speaker 1: in me. Thank you for loving me through all my
42:09
Speaker 1: stages and all the evolutions of Ashy, and thank you
42:14
Speaker 1: for being here today.
42:15
Speaker 2: Thank you go for another seventeen baby.
42:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love you. I love you so much. Thanks
42:19
Speaker 1: for joining us, guys. Bye bye,