Latest / The MODERN YIN Podcast / Why Your Body Won’t Let You Sleep

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Why Your Body Won’t Let You Sleep · The MODERN YIN Podcast

0:00
Well, hello, and welcome to the Modern Ian podcast.
0:05
I'm your host, Kimberly Roberts of Sulfian, and I am so glad
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you're here. I want to take a moment to help
0:11
you understand what this space is all about, especially if
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you're new here, and how this podcast can support you.
0:20
This podcast is really geared for busy women, especially over
0:25
the age of 40, who feel like they're constantly on the go,
0:29
taking care of everything and everyone.
0:32
But you know what? Not taking care of themselves.
0:36
And overtime, that can start to look like feeling burnt out,
0:40
overwhelmed, tense, tired, but wired or just disconnected.
0:47
What I share here is a different approach.
0:51
Instead of pushing harder or doing more, we focus on slowing
0:56
down, supporting your nervous system, and creating a sense of
1:00
safety in your body. Because here's the thing, when
1:05
your body feels safe, everything starts to shift.
1:09
Your energy improves, your mind becomes clear, your body
1:13
softens, and you will begin to feel more like yourself again.
1:19
Inside this podcast you'll find simple practices using in yoga,
1:23
acupressure, reflexology, breath work, mindfulness.
1:28
These are all designed to fit into what I call real life, even
1:33
when you only have a couple of minutes.
1:36
And if you're looking for more support, you can come and join
1:39
me inside my Patreon. That's where I share full Yan
1:43
yoga classes, guided practices for emotional support, nervous
1:47
system reset, and even nourishing recipes to support
1:51
your overall well-being. It's really a space where you
1:56
can go deeper, at your own pace and in a way that feels
2:00
supportive, not overwhelming. So whether you're listening
2:05
while walking, resting, or just taking a moment for yourself,
2:09
I'm so glad you're here because you've landed in the right
2:12
place. Take a deep breath, let those
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shoulders soften, and let's begin.
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Why your body won't let you sleep even when you're
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exhausted. Put your hand up, if you know
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exactly what I mean, 'cause this is what we are diving into today
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on the Modern Yin podcast. So welcome.
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So there's a moment and I know if you're a woman and you're
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here, you know this well, you're exhausted.
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Your body is tired, you've been going all day long and you just
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cannot wait to get into bed. But when you finally get in
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there and you got your comfy duvet and you're lying on your
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silk pillow and you're like, I'm so ready for this.
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But instead of drifting off, something else is happening.
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All of a sudden your mind wakes up or your body feels kind of
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twitchy and wired. Or here's a classic 1 you fall
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asleep only to wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 AM in the morning
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staring at the alarm clock and the question becomes like why
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the heck can't I sleep when I'm this tired?
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And that is frustrating. It's confusing, it's even a
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little defeating because you're like, I'm so tired, why am I not
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sleeping? But what I want to offer you
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today is this sleep isn't just about being tired.
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It's actually about whether your body feels safe enough to let
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go. So I'm going to repeat that
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again because I really want this to land.
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Sleep isn't just about being tired.
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In fact, it's often about whether your body feels safe
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enough to let go. This is huge.
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We're going to dive deep into this next.
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OK? Because this was a piece that I
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missed for a really long time. When all the other pieces of the
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equation were working well, I was like, why am I still not
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sleeping? So I want you to think about
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sleep for a moment. Sleep requires safety.
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So sleep is one of the most vulnerable states your body
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enters, right? You're letting go of control,
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you're letting go of awareness, you're letting go of doing.
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You are asleep. You do not know what's going
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around your environment. You're asleep.
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You have no idea. And here's the thing, your
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nervous system will only allow sleep when it feels safe.
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So you might be thinking, yeah, but I'm in my home.
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I'm in my comfy bed. I've got all the things in
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place. The diffuser is going.
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I've got music. It's nice and dark.
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It's cool. It's like, isn't that safe?
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But here's the thing. If your nervous system is still
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in a state of bracing, still scanning, processing, holding
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tension, it's going to be really hard to resist that transition
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into feeling safe. And it's not because your
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nervous system is doing something wrong.
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It's actually because it's doing its job.
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Because you see your body is always trying to protect you
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even when there's no immediate threat.
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OK, does that land? Because we're going to keep
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going. We're going to talk about the
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tired, but I'm wired feeling. And this is honestly, this is
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something I see all the time from my patients in my
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reflexology practice. I hear it from my students on my
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Patreon. They're like, why am I so tired?
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But I'm so wired at the same time.
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These are women who are completely exhausted, but their
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bodies, they just won't settle. This is what we call the tired
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but wired feeling. You see, your body is physically
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depleted. But, and here's the big but your
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nervous system is still activated.
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What does that mean? It means cortisol has not fully
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come down yet. Adrenaline is still circulating.
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There might be glucose like blood sugar issues happening.
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So instead of softening into that sleep, your system stays
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slightly alert, just enough that it kind of shows up, like your
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mind is racing a little, your body feels twitchy, restless.
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You just have that inability to fully relax.
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It's not failure, it's Physiology, right?
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Because your body is always trying to protect you even when
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there is not an immediate threat.
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So hopefully this is landing because now I'm going to put a
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little different spin, a little different lens on things.
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We're going to talk about the Chinese medicine perspective.
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OK, That one to 3:00 AM wake up. Now.
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If you're a woman and you're over 40, I can 100% guarantee
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you that you have hit that before.
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Suddenly you're wide awake and you look at the clock and it's
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1:30 in the morning and you're like, what the F?
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So here's the thing, if you've been listening to some of my
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other podcast episodes, you probably have heard me talk
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about the liver system. But we're going to talk about it
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a little more here because between 1:00 and 3:00 AM, that's
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the liver system time in Chinese medicine.
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It's the time where the liver system is going through its
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energetic shift, through the Meridian system, through the TCM
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body clock. And you see, your liver is
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responsible for that smooth flow of energy and emotions in the
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body. This time frame is also when the
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body naturally processes and moves things that haven't been
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fully digested yet during the day.
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So if there's stored frustration, unprocessed
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emotions, or any kind of stagnation in the system, this
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is the time frame that it shows up.
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And yeah, it can certainly wake you up.
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It's not random. It's actually rhythmical.
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Your body is trying to move something through.
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But if your nervous system is tight or still bracing, guess
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what? That movement gets interrupted.
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It's kind of like all of a sudden you've got a garden hose
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with water flowing through it and it's just flowing like a
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breeze, and all of a sudden you put a kink in it and all of a
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sudden it's like, why is the water not flowing?
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It's exactly the same thing. So why does your mind get so
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busy at night when you're so freaking exhausted, right?
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It's because during the day, you're occupied, you're doing,
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you're solving, you're responding.
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There's like this continuous, constant input of data in and
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out, in and out, in and out. But at night, there's space.
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There's lots of space. And in that space, what you
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haven't processed already begins to rise.
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Things like thoughts, things like emotions, things like
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mental loops. And this isn't because your mind
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is the problem, it's because your nervous system finally has
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the quiet it needs to process right.
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But without nervous system regulation, that processing can
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feel really overwhelming instead of settling.
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So if all of this is landing right now, you're like, OK, I'm
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getting this. Let's talk about the shift that
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you need to make. You don't need to force sleep.
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OK? This is where we really start to
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have a mindset shift here. I want to say it again,
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something really important here. Sleep is not something you
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force. It's something you allow.
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And allowing sleep means preparing the body to feel safe
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enough to let go. OK, allowing sleep means
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preparing your body to feel safe enough to let go.
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Now what does that actually look like while slowing down earlier
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in the evening? Let's get off the scrolling and
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watching the news. Supporting your nervous system
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through breath, gentle yin practices, reflexology,
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acupressure, meditation. These are not as a routine to
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get sleep right. I want you to think of it this
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way. Instead, it's a way to
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communicate with your body that you're safe now and again.
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Remember, the body needs to feel safe.
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The nervous system needs to feel safe in order for sleep to
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happen. And when your body and your
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nervous system believes that you're safe, then sleep becomes
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available again. You see the the loop I'm making
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here? It's not about forcing the
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sleep. It's about inviting the nervous
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system and the body to feel safe.
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You can be in the coziest bed in the most luxurious sheets.
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And I've been there because I've made my bedroom an absolute
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Oasis. It is dark.
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I've got sleep mask. I, I wear a sleep mask over my
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eyes. I have a, a silk pillowcase.
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I have a silk I masculine. I said that before.
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I have beautiful sheets, the most fluffy duvet.
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I've got a humidifier going in the room so that, you know, the
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moisture is right and it's nice and cool.
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And so that's what I used to think, making your sleep happen.
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Those are all kind of like nice to haves.
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But The thing is, if your nervous system is still bracing,
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if it's still on and it doesn't feel safe, it is especially not
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going to let go when you're supposedly in the most
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vulnerable state. You're asleep, you have no idea
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what's going on around you. So this is something that I've
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really worked on a lot because, and I know you can relate to
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this, when your sleep is crap, nothing works.
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Everything is an effort, like I mean, a major effort to happen,
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right? Even the simplest of things.
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It's like, my God, why is this so difficult?
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Why is this just so taxing? It's not.
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It's just if you're not sleeping, nothing works.
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So this is something that I'm really starting to focus on
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inside my Patreon space right now.
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I've already got some simple creative ways and supportive
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ways to help your body unwind before sleep.
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I've got an entire collection called Sleep and Deep Rest.
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It's yen practices. We've got reflexology, we've got
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gentle nervous system regulation.
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Because here's the thing again, sleep isn't something that we
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fix at night. It's something we prepare for
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throughout the day. OK, It's not enough just to be
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like, OK, I'm going to unwind for half an hour before I go to
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bed. That might work sometimes,
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depending on what you've had on your plate that day.
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But if you've had a day where you've been under a lot of
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stress and your nervous system has been really taxed, you need
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moments throughout the day to restore.
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And what does that look like? Because some of you might be
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going, hey, you know, I got a full schedule.
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I don't have like half an hour or an hour.
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I don't even have 15 minutes. You know what the bonus is?
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You don't. You need 55 minutes, maybe two
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or three times a day. Literally just instead of
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spending that 5 minutes scrolling through Insta, how
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about instead you spend 5 minutes focusing on your breath?
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Because if your body has been feeling wired or restless or
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resistant throughout the day, you're not going to sleep well
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at night unless you take a really long time to decompress
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before bed. And let's face it, who has that
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amount of time, right? So on my Patreon, you're going
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to find practices there that help you soften, that help you
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release the bracing. And I'm just getting started
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with this because this is literally a heartbeat passion
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for me. And if you missed my episode
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last week on food and nervous system regulation, you are going
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to want to go and listen to that because this is something else
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that I'm going to dive a little bit deeper into.
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And I have been already on my Patreon and I've been starting
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to put up recipes as well. Because here's the thing, if you
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don't eat well throughout your day, you're going to sleep like
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crap. And I can guarantee you that.
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Because you know what? I'm going to tell you something
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that happened to me not that long ago.
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It was actually a few nights ago.
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So I had a pretty crazy day and my breakfast was not
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substantial. I didn't have enough protein at
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breakfast. And then lunch rolled around and
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I thought I was having enough. I had enough protein, but I
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didn't have enough fiber. So then I skipped an afternoon
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snack, which was not a good idea because I didn't have enough
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fiber at lunch. And so by the time dinner rolled
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around, I was tired. I hadn't spent any time, even 5
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minutes restoring throughout the day.
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So I spent 5 minutes just before making my dinner.
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And then when I went to make dinner, I thought OK, I was
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having eggs, I was having some ham, and I was also having a
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mixed vegetable with tahini sauce and a few baby roasted
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potatoes. So here's the thing.
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I had enough protein at dinner, but the fiber, the vegetables I
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had were I had Peppers, I had zucchini and those are great,
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but they're not really high, high fiber.
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So I should have added something a little more like maybe some
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broccoli or some cauliflower or cabbage, something with a little
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bit more substance in the fiber department, and I didn't.
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So then I went to decompress and do some yen and by the time I
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went to bed, I was exhausted. But guess what?
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I woke up at 1:00 AM and I was hungry.
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So I had a glucose hit, low blood sugar, cortisol spiked,
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and all of a sudden I couldn't sleep.
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I was so restless. So I did something that I hate
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to do, but I had to do it. I went and had something to eat.
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Is that ideal at 1:00 AM? Especially when your liver
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system is moving through its energetic shift?
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No, but I needed to sleep so I did it and I was able to fall
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back asleep. But then here's the thing, the
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next morning when I woke up and I looked at my aura ring stats
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for my sleep, it was crap. The restlessness was high, sleep
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quality was low. I ended up only sleeping 6 1/2
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hours, which for my chronotype and my system I need 7 1/2
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hours. So now I was in a sleep dead of
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an hour and I had no energy. So what was my day like?
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It was crap. I was exhausted.
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I didn't do any workout because I didn't have the energy for it.
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And I put my aura ring on rest mode and I focused on making
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sure I was hitting high fiber and high protein every single
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meal and having at least one snack.
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So I want to tie this in if that, if your body won't let you
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sleep, it's not because it's broken.
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It's communicating with you and it's asking for different layers
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of support. What does that look like?
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Breath work, meditation, nervous system regulation through yen
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practices, acupressure, reflexology, eating well, taking
22:25
moments to restore throughout the day.
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And when you start listening to all of that instead of forcing,
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that's when things are going to start to shift, when sleep is
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becoming less of a struggle and more of a return.
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This is modern yin. This is where the stillness does
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the real work. Sleep is not something your body
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does when it's tired. It's something your body does
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when it feels safe. And I'm going to leave you with
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that and I'll see you in the next episode.
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Thanks for pressing play today. Today's episode supported you in
23:21
any way. The next best step is to come
23:24
practice with me. Inside my Patreon, I share
23:28
simple Yum yoga, acupressure, reflexology, and nervous system
23:33
practices designed for busy women who want to feel calm,
23:37
grounded, and fasten their bodies without needing a ton of
23:41
time. You'll also find full classes,
23:45
guided practices, and even nourishing recipes to support
23:48
your well-being. Until next time, take a deep
23:53
breath, slow things down, and take care of you and I'll see
23:57
you in the next episode. Thanks so much for pressing play
24:02
today.