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The Rich Girl Mindset (And How to Get It) · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: My name is Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
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  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
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  Speaker 1: Ganya Niana, Kaka yah Ya bin Ahaka Nian Our gay
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  Speaker 1: In Nimbina, yakarum Jar, Dominyama, Domagahawakaman, damon Imlan Bumba, bang
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  Speaker 1: Gadabomba in and now in wakah Ghana on yak rum
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  Speaker 1: Jar water Nadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
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  Speaker 1: lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect
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  Speaker 1: the Aberiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
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  Speaker 1: pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
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  Speaker 1: She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
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  Speaker 1: bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
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  Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello and
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  Speaker 2: welcome to.
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  Speaker 3: She's on the Money, the podcast that believes your mindset
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  Speaker 3: might actually matter more than your income. It starts with
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  Speaker 3: a bigger belief in what's possible for you, because the
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  Speaker 3: truth is, you can earn more, you can save more,
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  Speaker 3: you can build more. Today we're talking about the mindset
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  Speaker 3: shift that can change your whole financial future and how
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  Speaker 3: to start building it for real.
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  Speaker 2: I'm excited, and.
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  Speaker 3: I'm joined by Victoria de Mine, who has a very
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  Speaker 3: abundant brain and also a real understanding of how money
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  Speaker 3: actually works.
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  Speaker 4: IBD, I have an abundant brain. Yeah, I like that,
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  Speaker 4: but also I'm not entirely sure what that means.
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  Speaker 2: No, actually, and me also, but it just felt right.
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  Speaker 5: I just know I like it.
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  Speaker 4: I like I feel like I do have an abundant
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  Speaker 4: brain now, but I haven't for a very long time.
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  Speaker 4: Like I do try very hard to focus on like
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  Speaker 4: on abundan. It sounds real fluffy, but I think it
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  Speaker 4: actually works. So I guess I am here for this
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  Speaker 4: because honestly, when people ask me, VI, what's the one
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  Speaker 4: thing that separates people who build wealth from those people
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  Speaker 4: who stay stuck? It's not income. It's not even intelligence, right,
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  Speaker 4: it's mindset. Like it's whether you believe wealth is actually
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  Speaker 4: available to you or whether you're stuck in survival mode
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  Speaker 4: without even realizing it. It is why I talk until
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  Speaker 4: the Cows come Home about you understanding your money story
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  Speaker 4: and where you have come from, Because if you cannot
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  Speaker 4: understand where you're coming from, Beck, how do you create
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  Speaker 4: a map to go where you want to go.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.
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  Speaker 4: Like you can't just get in the car and start
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  Speaker 4: driving and be like, oh, I know I'm going to
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  Speaker 4: end up in Queensland.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well what if.
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  Speaker 4: You're starting in Darwin? What if you're starting in Melbourne?
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  Speaker 4: Like how do how do we know where the map
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  Speaker 4: needs to lead? You know? Yes, yes, it's kind of
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  Speaker 4: like it does sound a bit fluffy and I get that,
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  Speaker 4: but bear with me because I'm a science girlie and
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  Speaker 4: there is genuine, real science behind why mindset that is
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  Speaker 4: for your money, yea, So we're going to share that with.
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  Speaker 2: You, gorgeous, because I know it also matters.
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  Speaker 3: Like the map thing, It's like you need to build
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  Speaker 3: a map based on where you're starting from, and that
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  Speaker 3: means that like maybe you're a person of color, maybe
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  Speaker 3: you grew up in a really poor household.
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  Speaker 2: It looks different for everyone. So the point is it
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  Speaker 2: probably is possible to get there.
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  Speaker 5: It is.
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  Speaker 2: It just probably it is.
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  Speaker 3: It is, It's just it looks very different for different people.
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  Speaker 3: So exactly, let's start at the very beginning. What even
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  Speaker 3: is an abundance mindset?
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  Speaker 4: So an abundance mindset is hard it's hard because as
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  Speaker 4: human beings, we are literally wired for survival. So remember that,
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  Speaker 4: because when you're finding it hard, it's not because it's you.
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  Speaker 2: It's because that's.
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  Speaker 4: How we're wired. But believing that wealth is not a
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  Speaker 4: limited resource is a very important start. It's believing that
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  Speaker 4: it is genuinely possible to create more, not that success
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  Speaker 4: or money is only for a lucky few like babe,
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  Speaker 4: it's for you too. You just need to work for it,
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  Speaker 4: like you just need to step into your abundance mindset era.
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  Speaker 4: The opposite of that, though, is a scarcity mindset, which
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  Speaker 4: I think we need to understand as much as an
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  Speaker 4: abundance mindset. We're not trying to embrace it, but if
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  Speaker 4: we don't understand it, we can't identify when we're falling
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  Speaker 4: into it. And it's the belief that God, there's never enough,
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  Speaker 4: that somebody else wins you loose, and that you have
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  Speaker 4: to hoard and protect everything because there's not going to
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  Speaker 4: be more. And if you know you're talking before you know,
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  Speaker 4: if you grew up in a really poor background, you
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  Speaker 4: are probably going to have that mindset of scarcity because
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  Speaker 4: you're like, well, I don't know when we're going to
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  Speaker 4: get paid next, or I don't know if we're going
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  Speaker 4: to run out of food, Like I see it all
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  Speaker 4: the time in these situations and conversations, and like it
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  Speaker 4: makes me sad. But at the same time, I'm like,
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  Speaker 4: how good is this that we're identifying this because we
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  Speaker 4: can work with this.
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  Speaker 2: We can work with this, like we can work with anything.
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  Speaker 4: We just need to be able to articulate and identify
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  Speaker 4: and that's perfect. And studies actually show us with a
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  Speaker 4: growth orient mindset, an abundant mindset tends to be more
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  Speaker 4: financially resilient. People with an abundance mindset back are better
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  Speaker 4: at long term planning, and they are more likely to
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  Speaker 4: invest in themselves, in their own skills and their own future.
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  Speaker 2: Like, sorry, all of I want all of that, Like
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  Speaker 2: all of that I would like to sign up for.
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  Speaker 4: Do you not want that? Does not everyone not want
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  Speaker 4: to be an abundant mindset person?
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  Speaker 2: Exactly?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so fair, but it can Yeah, definitely can
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  Speaker 3: be disheartening when you're like, if you've grown up in
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  Speaker 3: a household that's a little bit poorer and you're like,
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  Speaker 3: I don't have that money to fall back, yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Or like you might be telling yourself the story of like,
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  Speaker 4: oh that's not possible for me. Yeah, you know, my
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  Speaker 4: family don't do that, or no, like that's just not
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  Speaker 4: how it works, like completely valid, but we can get
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  Speaker 4: out of that.
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  Speaker 2: So in the context of our money and finances, why
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  Speaker 2: is this important? Because I said so, that's so true,
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  Speaker 2: and that is the end of the show. You have
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  Speaker 2: a good day, bye.
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  Speaker 4: But honestly, I feel like I'm being a hippie dippy,
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  Speaker 4: But like, let's step into this abundance mindset. It honestly
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  Speaker 4: matters with money because it changes everything about how you
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  Speaker 4: show up financially. It's not just about surviving the setbacks.
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  Speaker 4: It's about being opened to building more, to creating more,
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  Speaker 4: to earning more, and believing, go, there's enough for you
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  Speaker 4: and everybody else, Like.
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  Speaker 2: It's going to go all around and come around, and
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  Speaker 2: if I'm.
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  Speaker 4: Successful, that should just serve as a really good example.
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  Speaker 4: Not I'm successful and therefore you're not going to be like,
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  Speaker 4: my success does not come at the determent of yours.
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  Speaker 4: When you're thinking in your abundant mindset, like we're thinking abundantly,
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  Speaker 4: you are going to back yourself. You're going to be
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  Speaker 4: able to ask for bigger salaries and better opportunities because
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  Speaker 4: you know more success isn't limited. Like I'm not asking
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  Speaker 4: for this and hoping that it's just me who gets this.
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  Speaker 4: If I ask for this and get this, I'm paving
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  Speaker 4: the way for everyone behind me. I'm setting an example.
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  Speaker 4: I'm showing other people what's possible. You end up investing
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  Speaker 4: in yourself and your gills, in your future because you
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  Speaker 4: just trust everything's going to take along and keep growing
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  Speaker 4: like it's not capped, like you don't succeed, and then
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  Speaker 4: full stop, end of story, we're done. You spend in
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  Speaker 4: line with your values, which I think is so important,
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  Speaker 4: not fear knowing that your money is disappearing the second
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  Speaker 4: that you use it, and you save and invest because
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  Speaker 4: you believe in a future version of you who's thriving.
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  Speaker 4: She's not struggling, she's thriving and she's living her best life,
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  Speaker 4: like she's going to Meredith and she's not even thinking
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  Speaker 4: about the budget.
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  Speaker 2: That sounds so I really can't wait to be her, right,
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  Speaker 2: But like she's there? Do we not want that? Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: Like, do we not want to be in a situation
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  Speaker 4: where we're just so comfy and we're living in line
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  Speaker 4: with our values, and your values might be so different
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  Speaker 4: to mine, and that is so cool.
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  Speaker 2: Like genuinely, I can't.
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  Speaker 4: Think of anything worse than going to Meredith, like not
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  Speaker 4: showering for three days back. That's not for me.
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  Speaker 5: It's really not like you imagine this goal at a
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  Speaker 5: music festival, you'd thrive me you never know, you might
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  Speaker 5: you know, I would embrace it for you, Beck, But
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  Speaker 5: you know what I mean, everyone has different values and
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  Speaker 5: that's really lovely.
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  Speaker 4: But abundance turns money from something that you hoard or
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  Speaker 4: something that you're scared of or are fearful of, into
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  Speaker 4: something that you're building with. Yeah, like you don't have
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  Speaker 4: to build what I'm building. You can go build your
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  Speaker 4: own thing. It's so cool because money can turn into anything.
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  Speaker 4: Money creates your reality.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So abundance sounds so good. Why does it
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  Speaker 3: feel so hard to actually believe in it? Like why
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  Speaker 3: is it so easy to slip into that?
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  Speaker 4: Like just like houses, we are all cavemen, Like at
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  Speaker 4: the end of the day, we used to live in caves.
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  Speaker 4: And I mean this is me like obviously stereotyping very seriously.
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  Speaker 4: And you know what, we might kill one goat and
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  Speaker 4: who knows when the next goat's coming, you know, like
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  Speaker 4: you just didn't have that. So it is hardwired into
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  Speaker 4: our brains to live in a scarcity mindset. And there's
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  Speaker 4: a lot going on underneath, right, Like it could be
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  Speaker 4: in a twenty twenty five context, it could be how
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  Speaker 4: you grew up around money, the narrative that was fed
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  Speaker 4: to you, Like you could have grown up in a
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  Speaker 4: really really financially constricted family and it stressed everybody out
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  Speaker 4: no one talked about money, or you could have grown
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  Speaker 4: up really wealthy, and so you just think, oh, my goodness,
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  Speaker 4: wealth is for really bad people. Like I've met so
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  Speaker 4: many people who don't like wealth because they grew up
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  Speaker 4: with wealth and they saw how it changed people. Right,
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  Speaker 4: I get that that doesn't mean it has to be
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  Speaker 4: your reality. Like how cool is it beck that I
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  Speaker 4: can be financially successful and help others? Like, just because
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  Speaker 4: money exists doesn't mean that it is inherently bad. We
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  Speaker 4: could talk about broader economic anxiety. So like you're seeing
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  Speaker 4: what's going on with what's happened in politics, or you're
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  Speaker 4: seeing what's going on and you're happening on Trump, you
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  Speaker 4: might be really anxious about what the future holds on
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  Speaker 4: an economic level, and then real financial experiences like I'm
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  Speaker 4: not dismissing that you losing your job was not insanely stressful.
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  Speaker 2: That shit sucks, right, Like, I'm not saying, oh, let
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  Speaker 2: we just reframe it. No, that sucks.
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  Speaker 4: Like if you are struggling in debt, God, I get it.
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  Speaker 4: I was in more than forty thousand dollars worth of
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  Speaker 4: personal debt. It is crippling. It makes you feel sick,
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  Speaker 4: It stops you from sleeping at night, It changes the
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  Speaker 4: way that you interacting your relationships with your friends and family. Like,
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  Speaker 4: I get it, But that doesn't mean that has to
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  Speaker 4: be your reality forever. And that's why we're talking about this.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So when you grew up with financial pressure,
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  Speaker 3: how does that shape your mindset long term?
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  Speaker 2: Negatively? Yeah, I can imagine.
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  Speaker 4: Research from the American Psychological Association has shown that early
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  Speaker 4: financial stress can actually win your brain into chronic scarcity thinking,
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  Speaker 4: where your default setting actually is always fear, cautiousness, and
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  Speaker 4: distrust around money. So when they talk about that and
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  Speaker 4: when you experience that, your brain is learning that money
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  Speaker 4: disappears really quickly. Good things beck they do not last,
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  Speaker 4: and security is actually fragile, like we can't have long
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  Speaker 4: term security, Like you can feel secure this week, but
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  Speaker 4: maybe next week that is gone and is very hard
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  Speaker 4: to come out of that. And even once your circumstances improve,
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  Speaker 4: that wiring can actually still be running underneath to make
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  Speaker 4: it really hard to trust that abundance is possible for you.
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  Speaker 4: So good example, you've grown up, you didn't have heaps
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  Speaker 4: of money. You know, security was fleeting. Like one week
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  Speaker 4: you'd be like, oh, we're eating well this week. You
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  Speaker 4: know we have some extra money, but like a low
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  Speaker 4: key in the back of your mind, you just know
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  Speaker 4: that like a month from now is not going to
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  Speaker 4: be like that. So you're kind of like making hey,
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  Speaker 4: well the sun's shining, like you're enjoying it as much
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  Speaker 4: as possible. But like what if now you have a
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  Speaker 4: really secure job, you have your emergency fund, you have
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  Speaker 4: your savings, but you're still feeling that like you're hoarding
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  Speaker 4: the money and it's not helping you because you still
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  Speaker 4: ultimately think, Okay, this is just for now, though, like
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  Speaker 4: this is just for this minute, and next week or
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  Speaker 4: next month it's going to blow up a or it's
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  Speaker 4: going to be taken from me. That's not something you're
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  Speaker 4: thinking every single day, but that's the deep seated feeling.
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  Speaker 4: Like that is the deep rooted cause of why you
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  Speaker 4: are in a scarcity mindset, and we need to tackle that.
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  Speaker 4: Like you can have an okay income back, you can
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  Speaker 4: have a heap of savings and still be operating in
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  Speaker 4: a scarcity mindset. Like just because you get more money
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  Speaker 4: doesn't mean you feel good about it. And that's why
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  Speaker 4: we need to work on your mindset and your money story.
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  Speaker 4: So it could look like, let's say that you now
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  Speaker 4: have your emergency fund set up, like you've got good
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  Speaker 4: income coming in. It could be panicking when you spend money,
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  Speaker 4: Like you just go into Cole's and you're still feeling
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  Speaker 4: real anxious when you have to tap your card even
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  Speaker 4: though you know the money's on your account, and you're like,
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  Speaker 4: this is essential spending, like I actually have to buy
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  Speaker 4: bread and milk. Like it could be paying bills late
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  Speaker 4: because you're like, oh, I want to keep the money
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  Speaker 4: in my account for as long as possible, and then going,
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  Speaker 4: damn it, I've gotten like a late fee. Oh, like
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  Speaker 4: and feeling like you can't be good at money. But
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  Speaker 4: the reality is you're just like holding onto it for
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  Speaker 4: as long as possible. It's not that you're not good
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  Speaker 4: at money, it's that you're scared of it. You could
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  Speaker 4: be feeling like you can never like relax financially, or
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  Speaker 4: believing that there's like only one right.
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  Speaker 2: Opportunity and if you miss it, you're going to be doomed.
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  Speaker 4: Like you know, if you didn't invest right now, if
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  Speaker 4: you didn't invest five years, got your scrooge. It's so
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  Speaker 4: often linked to that early emotional wiring that we're talking
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  Speaker 4: about before, not actual financial danger. It's just like these
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  Speaker 4: ingrained thoughts and feelings right, Like back to our caveman time. Right, So,
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  Speaker 4: you know you left your cave, you went through a
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  Speaker 4: nice wander, you're not wearing any shoes, and a bear
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  Speaker 4: runs after you, bear scratches you. That's terrifying, that hurt.
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  Speaker 4: Right next time you leave your cave, you can see
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  Speaker 4: a bear off in the distance. How do you feel, Oh,
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  Speaker 4: we're not happy about that. Not happy, We're scared, terrified.
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  Speaker 4: Same thing happens with money. But money's the bear right
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  Speaker 4: right right. Just because it's there doesn't mean it hasn't
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  Speaker 4: hurt you before. We need to like go through some
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  Speaker 4: therapy to work out. Oh maybe that bears a friend,
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  Speaker 4: do you know what I mean? Sure, we need to
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  Speaker 4: change it, and we can genuinely rewire our brain. One
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  Speaker 4: of my favorite books is by a guy called I
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: believe it's Martin Deutsche and it's called The Brain That
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: Changed Itself. Yeah, nobody else is going to care about
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: this book recommendation except for me. But it is literally
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: about neuroplasticity and the ability to rewire your brain. And
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: we're not just talking about money stories here. We're talking
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: about people who had completely catastrophic accidents, you know, became paraplegic,
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: and they worked on rewiring their brain to make completely
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: different connections so that they were still able to function.
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  Speaker 2: It's actually so cool.
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  Speaker 4: But the reason I like it is like, well, if
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  Speaker 4: they can do that, we can think differently about money.
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  Speaker 2: Like if they can.
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  Speaker 4: Literally rewire their brain to function differently and create this neuroplasticity,
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  Speaker 4: I can do that.
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  Speaker 2: I can do that with money. Yeah, I'll do it
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  Speaker 2: for you, like I'll fix it. I love it. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: So we can genuinely retrain our brains. That is really
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  Speaker 2: good to know.
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  Speaker 3: So let's say someone's listening to this right now, I'm
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  Speaker 3: thinking that's literally me the bear.
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  Speaker 2: The bear.
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  Speaker 3: No, we are the caveman. Yeah, we're the caveman. What's
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  Speaker 3: one small thing that they can do today to start
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  Speaker 3: shifting that.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not going to answer that.
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  Speaker 4: I'm actually going to go to a really quick breakback,
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: because on the flip side, I'm going to answer that,
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: but I'm not just going to answer that. I'm going
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: to give you two super easy ways that you can
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: actually rewire your money mindset that you could literally start
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: doing today that is going to help your brain feel
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: a little bit safer and start stepping into like our
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  Speaker 4: rich girl era.
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  Speaker 2: Whoa, We'll be back in a minute. All right, welcome back, guys.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: So before the break we really let us on a click.
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  Speaker 4: I hyped it up too, so like, if these tips
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: are really terrible, pretend that hype up never happens.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, I know they're good though, So, oh
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  Speaker 2: my god, it's so excited.
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  Speaker 4: So you did promise us some practical ways to actually
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: start building that rich girl mindset that needing to be
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: some finance bro or spreadsheet wizard. I'm a spreadsheet wizard,
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  Speaker 4: so I've done it for you. We don't have a
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: finance bro, they're actually not welcome on my show. I
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: sometimes like Glenn James on my show because like he's
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: less finance bro. Yeah right, not a finance bro.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely, So okay, but where do we be in?
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: The first thing you're going to do, we're building evidence
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: like I'm so sorry my case. We are building a
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: case like I wrote a thesis like I am, And
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: that's not the a flex. It's more like I feel
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: like whenever I do anything, I now have to properly
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: research and reference it, so like you should too. So
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: the first one is we are going to be colle
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: some real proof that money can flow, that money can stay,
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: that money can grow even in really small ways, Like
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: we don't need to be gas lighting ourselves. We need
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: to be creating proof. We're going to create a money
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: safety snapshot. So it's probably going to take ten minutes.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: So I want you to list financial resources you currently have,
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: even if it's teeny tiny, so you might have like
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: fifty bucks or a hundred bucks or two hundred bucks
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: in your savings. Look at your pay slip, what are
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: your sick leave entitlements? Because that's financial security. Yeah true,
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: like hadding some sick leave knowing that you can go
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: on leave when you are sick and still get paid.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, that is life changing. Do you have
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: access to centlink if not? What do you need to
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: do to get access to scent link if you need it? Like,
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: what's holding you back from applying? If you're experiencing financial distress,
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: you are teaching your brain I'm not as powerless as
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: my fears as I am, and fear is a very
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: strong emotion. Psychologists they actually call this resourcing, so naming
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: your safety neck so that your brain doesn't default to
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: like worst case scenario always like how many times have
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: you been in a financial pickleback?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: And instead of looking at the facts, you're like, oh
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: my god, I am absolutely screwed. Yeah, like every day, Yeah,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: you just go I'm in a pickle. But we're not
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: looking at the facts.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: And if someone actually sat you down, like I can
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: imagine if I sat you down and said, okay, back, like,
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: let's have a look.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: What can we do? How could we resource this? You'd
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, actually, I do feel a bit better.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Do that for yourself.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: The next wishy washy, a little bit hippy dippy, bear
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: with me. We are starting a gratitude rich, Well, this
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: literally changed my life. So it might feel small, but
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: it has a very, very big impact on your mindset.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: So every morning, lame write down three things you're grateful for.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: This morning, I said that I was grateful for a coffee.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: I said that I was grateful that my baby woke
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: up instead of screaming. And I was really grateful that
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I had an extra five minutes to actually do my makeup,
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: not in the car. It doesn't have to be bougie, right, Like,
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: it doesn't have to be like I am grateful for
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: this person solving world hunger. Like it doesn't have to
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: be that dramatic like yours could be. I'm actually really
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: grateful that I have twenty three bucks in my savings account.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: Or I'm really grateful that I actually paid my rent
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: on time this month. That's an achievement. If you don't
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: do that consistently, how good is it when you do
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: do it on time?
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Totally? Like that is slay.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: This shows your brain, Hey, there's actually already some abundance
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: going on here, and that makes it so much easier
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: to believe that.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: It is possible.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: It might sound tippydippy, but back to the research, neuroscientists
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: have actually found that attentive gratitude practices they actually rewire
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: your brain and the pathways linked to optimism and resilience.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: So you might go, V, this is so lame. Why
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: am I writing down three things that I'm grateful for?
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: And in the moment you might be like, no, this
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: is so dumb, and then you like write down really
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: flippant things that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Is still working.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I promise just by focusing on it, Like I'm
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: not just saying this because I'm like, eh, it'll make
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: you feel better. No, neuroscience says that this will actually
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: help you pave different pathways, and that is what we
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: are trying to do. And according to a study from
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: the Greater Good Science Center, people who kept a daily
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: gratitude journal for just three weeks reported significantly higher optimism,
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: lower stress, and even made better financial decisions.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Wow, isn't that cool?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's while that like actually very motivating to know
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: that it really doesn't take that long. It's not like
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: six months of very in depth gratitude journaling.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: Three weeks, three weeks, three things, and every single morning.
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: You could do it at night as well, Like I'm
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: not sure about the researched. I mean I do it
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: in the morning because that's what the research says. But
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: like maybe you want to make that part of your
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: nightly like reflection or whatever. And it does sound lame,
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: but I promise when you start doing these things, you
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: go fire out. This is actually starting to rewhy are
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: my brain and down it it works, do you know
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: what I mean? I thought it was dumb and then
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: I did it, and I still think it sounds dumb.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: The dumb thing work. Unfortunately it's working.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. That actually feels so doable.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: So it's just about starting to show your brain that
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: you're already safer, already more capable than you probably give yourself.
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: A one hundred percent and you know what one could
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: be tomorrow morning back. Yeah, listen to a money podcast.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: There you go putting yourself ahead. Do you know how
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: many people don't listen to money podcasts. If you're listening
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: to a money podcast, you clearly want better for yourself.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: Like you're clearly already in this situation where you're like,
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: I'm going to listen to a podcast on mindset. I'm
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: gonna listen to a podcast about hopefully putting myself in
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: a better position.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: If you're listening to this, I'm talking to you so true.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Some people have said to me like, I can't listen
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: to shoes on the Money yet I'm not there, I'm
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: not ready. Yeah, I hear it all the time.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: You're here and you're ready, and it doesn't matter if
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: you're technically doing things or not.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Like this is huge. I'm not scary, I promise anyway.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: So what do we do next?
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So, once you've got the first layer, which is
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: like your evidence, building the proof that says, hey, actually
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: maybe I am okay, the next step is actually building
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: capacities a little bit more challenging. I'm sorry, because abundance
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: isn't just about like feeling safe, right, Like feeling safe
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: is good, and it is really important because it takes
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: our fight or flight response away.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: It makes us not feel so stressed.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: It's about learning how to hold more, more money, more options,
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: more success. Because if no one ever showed you how
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: to feel secure with money, or they didn't teach you
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: how to trust that good things can stay, then having
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: more just feels as scary as not having enough, like
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: it genuinely does. So building capacity means getting better at
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: letting things go well. It's about noting when things start working.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: It's not about literally ruining it for yourself. So many
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: people get money and they're like, oh my god, it
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: feels too good to be true, and they self sabotage.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: They ruin it for themselves.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: They blow all of their emergency savings because they're like,
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: this feels uncomfortable, and do you know what feels comfortable?
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: What I always know, And while that might not be comfortable,
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: I know what to expect. So I'm going to end
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: up broke again. It happens to the best of us.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: So building capacity means that we are letting ourselves keep
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: the race, enjoy the trip. We are backing ourselves for
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: the next step without waiting for it to all fall apart.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: Capacity beck it means saving even when it's really uncomfortable,
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: not just when it's really easy to save, not just
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: when you're like, oh, well, I could save this month
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: because I didn't go out, so therefore I have an
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: extra fifty dollars and I can save this month.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: God, that's easy.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: We are needing to put a framework in place so
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: that fifty as is consistent even when it's not super
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: comfortable because that's what's creating capacity for us. We're going
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: to ask for more. We expect people to respect us.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: We're going to ask for a raise. We're going to
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: ask for a better deal. We're going to ask for
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: an opportunity. You're at jb Hi Fi and you're buying
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: a product, we are going to ask for a better deal.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: It is uncomfortable.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: Get comfortable with the uncomfortable, right, We're going to back
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: ourselves to take a risk that you used to think
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: was like only for other people. It's not for me,
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: it's only for other people. Why it's all for you, baby,
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: all for you. It's all for you, willing to just
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: have more, not self sabotaging. When things start to get good,
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: and I know you all do it, we all do yes,
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: very human nature. We want to revert back to being
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: where we were most comfortable and we are comfortable with
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: what we can expect. And if you start being uncomfortable,
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: we need to ask ourselves why is it just because
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: we haven't been here before? Potentially this is often when
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: people they start to hit like an emotional wall because
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: abundance it doesn't just feel good. Sometimes it feels really unfamiliar.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: And honestly scary.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, but what about when bad stuff does happen, because
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: it does feel a little bit.
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: Bad stuff does still happen, Like we're not going to
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: pretend it doesn't, right.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it does feel a bit unrealistic. I think to say,
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: believe in abundance when you get hit with like when
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: it feels like it feels like we're running an MLM cult. Yeah,
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: like you're like, oh, I'm not making any.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: Sales, and I'm like, just believe the sales are coming back, Like,
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: that's not it. I think bad things can still happen. Yeah,
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: and real abundance mindset, it's not about pretending that life
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: doesn't throw your curve ball. It's about believing that you
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: can absolutely recover, not believing that you'll never fall over
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: it again.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: Studies show that people who practice realistic optimism, not the
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Lulu optimism. The key there is realistic, not blind faith. Beck.
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: They're more resilient financially and emotionally after setbacks like.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: That thousand dollars.
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gonna suck, we'll work it out, but it
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: doesn't make you feel as trash as it would have historically. Right,
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: it's about going, oh, this happened, but it is what
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: it is, and we will move forward because more money
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: is coming. Like I think so many times we would
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: fall into well i'm real now and financially I'm done.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: I'm done, I'm bad at this, I suck. Yeah that's
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: not it. That's not how we speak to ourselves in
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: this house. No, absolutely not. And if you think you're helpless,
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: go you give up. I'm helpless. I can't do anything
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: about this. I'm just going to go back to bed.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: But if you think you can rebuild, you can actually
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: take action. You could call the mechanic and you could
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: be like, hey, I don't have a thousand dollars. Could
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: we please work out like a payment plan and then
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: we could shift our budget for the month and work
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: out how we're going to make that a reality. Like
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: we're just facing tasks head on. Okay, this it's more
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: like I trust myself even when it's messy. Absolutely, because
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: you're not making like bad things are still going to happen.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: But like, girl, you're equipped, you can deal with this. Yeah,
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: you're the tools abundance. It's not about being delulu. It's
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: about backing yourself even when it feels messy even when
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: it feels hard, because you trust that there's something bigger
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: waiting for you if you just keep showing up and
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: you don't need a million dollars in your bank account
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: to actually start living like that. Yes, it just it
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: blows my mind how many people say, well, I'm going
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: to need to wait until I have more money before I,
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: you know, feel successful. Like, no, girl, you won't feel
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: successful with a million dollars in your bank account.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: That's so true.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: That was me literally right before this episode, and I
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'll start saving when I know more,
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: But it's not.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: The case because that's easy, and then you'll just fall
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: off the bandwagon.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: The next month. Okay, okay, I love this so much.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: I think it's like the perfect way to wrap this up.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: You're done with this.
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: I like it.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: I am because I'm really to start money life, my
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: abundance life exactly.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: We are going to kick scarcity minds. Yeah.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: So if you know someone who's stuck in a bit
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: of its scarcity mindset, and no fault to them, because
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: we've all been there, send them this episode.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Let's help them start backing themselves too.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, and don't forget to follow and subscribe to us
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: wherever you get your podcasts, so that we can continue
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: to bring you the money wisdom that hopefully you love.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Have a good week, guys, BI guys.
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
• 28:29
  Speaker 6: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
• 28:36
  Speaker 6: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
• 28:40
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• 28:42
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• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Advice tailored towards your needs.
• 28:47
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