Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Grindhouse

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Grindhouse · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. I'm going to point this out because
0:23
nobody else has. I'm the only person here not
0:26
wearing glasses. Oh, yeah. I got LASIK on Friday.
0:29
Did you really? I did. Oh, hell yeah. Two days
0:31
out. It's weird. Oh, I bet. Yeah. How often do
0:35
you touch your face now? Just like trying to
0:37
put your glasses back up. I have this morning
0:40
getting out of bed. I reached for my glasses.
0:42
And then when I was like, you know, splashing
0:45
water on my face first thing this morning, I
0:47
did it on my eyes and immediately regretted it.
0:51
Oh, yeah. That would drive me insane. As someone
0:55
who constantly looks for the glasses they are
0:57
currently wearing, not having glasses would drive
1:00
me insane. I think about it fairly often. It
1:05
would be interesting, but I've had glasses for
1:07
so fucking long. I got mine when I was eight.
1:09
Yeah, you beat me. Second grade. Yeah. That's
1:13
seven. Yeah, that's when I got it. Third. All
1:17
I know about John's illustrious backstory is
1:19
you had glasses when you were eight and you used
1:21
to be a bodybuilder. I am imagining a tiny buff
1:23
child now with glasses. Little buff boys. Oh,
1:26
I was fat. I graduated high school at 320. Damn.
1:30
Wow. I don't remember when I was bodybuilding.
1:33
I was 198 and a quarter. I just barely made weight.
1:38
Wow. God, that's crazy. I had to go pee to make
1:42
weight. Shit you not. Empty that bladder out.
1:45
We got it. Couple more ounces off. Done. There
1:48
was dudes spitting in cups. That's so wild. Well,
1:51
that was a weird tangent. Sorry. No, that's OK.
1:54
That's kind of what our bread and butter is.
1:56
So, yeah. Oh, the interesting thing is I've had
1:59
moments walking around the house and realize
2:01
I'm not wearing my glasses and then think, oh,
2:04
I can't see. And then a half second later being
2:06
like, oh, actually, I can. That is like that
2:09
cognitive dissonance. Yeah, it's been real odd.
2:12
because i'm used to you know hey if i don't have
2:13
my glasses on i can't see right that's right
2:15
i think i'd have to get like if i had if i got
2:19
lasik and like i could see normally i'd have
2:21
to get like glasses just for style like just
2:25
just style and normality like i don't think i'm
2:28
thinking about being that guy that wears like
2:30
just a tiny bit shaded glasses all the time oh
2:34
you know what i mean i mean it would go with
2:36
your whole hat vibe yeah It's true. And the low
2:39
pony that I've got going now, too. So tiny bit
2:42
shaded. You're just going to live like at all
2:45
times. Just a little yellow. In a world where
2:48
like you're the guy with transitions who just
2:50
came inside. No, not that dark. I'm thinking
2:53
more like Matthew McConaughey in Days of Confused.
2:58
That kind of vibe. That's not a vibe a lot of
3:01
people look for. It's kind of a scummy guy. Looks
3:07
aren't everything. It's what's in your heart,
3:09
Nick. So you watch this movie, these movies,
3:13
this morning. I set an alarm to get up and watch
3:16
these this morning because I forgot about it
3:18
until about Thursday. And then we were throwing
3:21
a Friendsgiving, so I had zero time. Yeah. So
3:24
they're fresh in your bloodstream. Don't regret
3:26
it, honestly. Okay, there you go. Sipping coffee.
3:29
Welcome back to Cage Magical and a roundabout
3:31
way of meeting Nicholas Cage. Since Peter's already
3:34
gotten started before you've even... announced
3:36
to the films uh this week we're kind of going
3:40
off book and well not really we've discussed
3:42
movies that nicholas cage is barely in and this
3:44
week we're just discussing movies that he's not
3:45
in uh we're doing the grindhouse films death
3:48
proof and planet terror yep and uh in the little
3:53
trailers that come along with it which is where
3:55
we do get nick cage this is maybe the least nick
3:57
cage screen time we've had ever though right
4:00
I would argue, though, it's still more Nick Cage
4:04
acting than Dazed and... Not Dazed and Abused.
4:08
You're welcome. Now you have to leave that in
4:10
for continuity. I am going to leave it in. Fast
4:12
Times at Ridgemont High. For Fast Times at Ridgemont
4:14
High, where he's there, but says nothing. He
4:17
at least makes some faces in that one that were
4:19
okay. He makes faces in this one. He makes racist
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faces in this one. Racist faces. Yes, in the...
4:27
Great Rob Zombie trailer for Werewolf Women of
4:32
the SS. Nicholas Cage plays Fu Manchu. Nice long
4:36
fake mustache. Did any of you find the Rob Zombie
4:40
interview where he discusses how this happened?
4:43
no no but i wish i had yeah uh so in a short
4:47
little interview with rob zombie he was talking
4:49
about how he's like so i was doing this thing
4:51
and you know i never asked my friends like for
4:55
favors to be in my thing but like you know you
4:57
don't know if you don't ask so i asked nick like
4:58
hey do you want to be like the head nazi in this
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thing he's like no no man i can't be a nazi so
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i was just like fuck i want nick cage in this
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um so i just made up on the spot uh do you want
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to be fu manchu and nick cage is like Yeah, I'll
5:11
do that. There was no Fu Manchu in the script.
5:15
There was no Fu Manchu. I just said it. And apparently
5:18
that was less problematic than a Nazi. Yeah.
5:22
And that was essentially the interview. And that's
5:24
why Fu Manchu is in that trailer. This is a tough
5:27
question now. So who wants to be Fu Manchu for
5:30
the poster? Not it. Oh, man. 100 % it. Yeah,
5:36
all right. You can be one of the two fawning
5:39
women at his feet. It's Fu Manchu or Nazi. Those
5:43
are your choices today. And Peter's going to
5:45
do a really good job on the Nazi photo. Really
5:50
get your likeness in there. I don't. know that
5:53
i need this in my life well we had a good run
5:58
sean did we i don't know we had a run and the
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runs technically we've just discussed the entirety
6:05
of nick cage's role in these films so we'll see
6:07
you next week peter hit us with that outro yeah
6:10
right okay but so he gives us a laugh is all
6:14
yeah right yeah he's pretty much just like a
6:16
turn and a laugh and i think he said i thought
6:19
there was one line yeah it's very brief i don't
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know what he actually says also i did not have
6:25
this trailer in either of the movies i watched
6:28
i had to find it on youtube and even then because
6:31
there are tits in it all i could find is a camcorder
6:34
from a theater version of it gotcha so you got
6:37
to watch a handy cam version of which is probably
6:40
the best way to the best representation yeah
6:42
yeah okay i like the most authentic way right
6:45
machete is awesome great yeah i made it Did you
6:50
ever see the actual movies? No, but I want to
6:52
now. I know. No, you don't. It's not bad. No,
6:56
that's too bad. I feel like they looked awesome.
6:59
They were hitting something fun with that. And
7:01
I guess Robert Rodriguez had had him in mind
7:03
for like a really long time to do a machete movie
7:07
and then was like, we'll just prime the pump
7:09
with this sucker. Yeah. I mean, we're going to
7:12
get in. I mean, I'm going to get into it later
7:14
as to. whether or not i find i feel this like
7:17
the rodriguez like grindhouse films work but
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spoiler yeah yeah that tone kind of answers the
7:26
whether you think i object i mean you know i
7:29
have my opinions but uh i think it works as a
7:32
sizzle reel i don't know that it works as a 90
7:34
minute joke as most jokes don't work as a 90
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minute you know you know past five how long are
7:42
these podcasts Like an episode runtime? I mean,
7:46
it depends. When we were doing the double features
7:48
in the past, we would get anywhere from 55 minutes
7:51
to close to an hour and a half was like our biggest.
7:55
90 minutes, you say? Yeah, 90 minutes indeed.
7:57
And the jokes didn't work. It's all been downhill
8:02
since Paradictal. Oh, yeah, that's true. That
8:06
was an early one, too. Oh, yeah. So let's see.
8:09
The other one was the Edgar Wright one. Don't.
8:12
oh yeah i kind of liked that you know it was
8:15
stupid way but yeah it made me laugh in a dumb
8:18
way oh i missed that one too that one i actually
8:20
enjoyed that one uh i forgot about that trailer
8:23
there's also the eli roth one yeah the thanksgiving
8:26
one yeah that was fantastic i wanted to see that
8:29
especially i'm fucking the turkey fucking the
8:31
turkey yeah there was some weird visuals in that
8:34
eli roth's a weird dude he's a very weird guy
8:36
yeah Yeah, the grandma trussed up as the turkey
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in the end. Yep. Oh, I forgot about that. Gross
8:45
and hot. Gross and hot. It took me a second to
8:48
realize what was going on there because it doesn't
8:49
show it for very long. Oh, as a connoisseur of
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grandma bodies, I knew right away. We know what
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category Nick goes for. Oh, God. Gross. I think
9:03
it was kind of cool, and I'm sort of sad. in
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the state of affairs of cinema and movie theaters
9:09
that something like this just probably can't
9:11
exist again. Um, it's like the concept is just
9:14
like incredibly low budget, pretty fast to produce
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movies that, you know, mostly exploitation style
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movies and, you know, lots of sword fight movies,
9:26
martial arts movies kind of fit in that category.
9:28
Um, yeah, it's just low budget action, horror
9:31
and exploitation. Yeah. Shocking kind of bite.
9:35
definition i guess or by trying to be by trying
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to be usually i think like more modern things
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you could point out it would be like uh trauma
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films right they're very much in that vein but
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they just don't get a theatrical release so it
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it hits different but i like this idea that you
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had theaters that like kind of had to fill time
9:54
right so it's like what are you doing between
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all these blockbusters it's like okay i don't
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know It's like it's like public access, you know,
10:01
and there's some horrible shit on public access
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and there's some kind of amazing shit that you
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find. And this, I'm sure, falls into both of
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those buckets. But, you know, it's kind of a
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cool idea in general, just being able to go to
10:13
a movie theater and watch like, I don't know,
10:15
an all nighter of like absolute nonsense. Like
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that sounds kind of fun. Yeah. I mean, like most
10:23
things, it all got ruined by capitalism and studios
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wanting to like. monopolize every screen all
10:30
the time rather than you don't get indie stuff
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anymore because no one will like pay for it because
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you guys watch the studio i haven't seen on apple
10:38
tv super good yeah really yeah amazing can't
10:42
recommend it enough but they talk about a lot
10:44
of that actually of like because first episode
10:47
spoiler alert half the season is about them having
10:51
to make a kool -aid man movie and like fucking
10:56
hating it and trying to figure out you know how
10:58
to make it decent and stuff and the exact argument
11:00
you're talking about of making like auteur films
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versus having to make these blockbusters that
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pay for the auteur films right well time was
11:08
you know studios would just produce things and
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would look at the overall how much they made
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versus each individual project some projects
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would do worse some projects would do better
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but stuff would get produced and you know it
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would all come out in the wash as a whole but
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now each film needs to make so much money yeah
11:29
it's the same thing that's happening with video
11:30
games too you know where it's like everything
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has to be these triple a releases ultimately
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for the people at the top who don't like don't
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like video games well who don't make art who
11:41
aren't involved in that they're just there to
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make money Yeah, it's opportunity cost, right?
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It's like, hey, if I get a loan for a billion
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dollars, I want to make as much possible money
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off that billion dollars. Right. So fuck the
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auteur films. I don't care. Yeah. You're right.
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It's pure money. It's just money. Yeah. It's
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just a bummer, though. You know, like it makes
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me we should make a fucking grindhouse film.
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Let's do it. We should. We might as well. We
12:04
could. We might as well. We could. I mean, there's
12:06
no reason we couldn't. We can totally shoot the
12:09
beacon. I mean, the one thing that keeps us from
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doing it is time. oh i was gonna say skill and
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no you don't need skill that's unnecessary i'm
12:18
really so time is right you're right in in the
12:21
uh in the uh vein of that like uh are you guys
12:25
excited for anaconda yes who loved a movie so
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much they wanted to remake it it is it's i mean
12:32
kind of like i do sort of think that they're
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going to have a better time with it than the
12:36
original one you know and it could be fun you
12:38
know that kind of shit is enjoyable when people
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who make a thing have fun doing it and it's not
12:43
like i mean we are talking about the same jack
12:45
black film right Yeah. OK, what are you guys
12:47
talking about? What's happening? Jack Black's
12:49
remaking Anaconda. No, it's a movie called Anaconda.
12:52
And it's the premise is these friends really
12:55
loved the movie Anaconda as kids, because I mean,
12:58
have you ever seen that movie? Yes, I have. And
13:00
they just kind of like decide, hey, we have to
13:04
make this film. So they just try to do a shot
13:06
for shot remake of it. But they have zero budget,
13:09
zero skill. And. It's a dumb movie. Looks dumb.
13:14
It should be okay. Great. I'd see that. Yeah.
13:17
That's all I wanted to talk about. I mean, the
13:20
premise, the premise also being that to cut costs,
13:24
they just get a giant snake who then the like
13:28
remake of Anaconda just becomes them in an Anaconda
13:31
situation. Yeah. Oh, it's so it's sort of like
13:34
the unbearable weight of massive town a little
13:36
bit. Yeah. Yeah. It becomes the action. I'm your
13:41
guest, John. yeah all right who are you sean
13:46
no i mean that's actually a good uh segue into
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kind of my main issue with these two films in
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terms of like grindhouse cinema it's just like
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can you make our tour like low budget like films
14:01
with in the studio system or are we just you
14:06
know i don't think these movies come go far enough
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to be considered parody but because they're made
14:12
within the system i don't know if they're made
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with enough integrity is the wrong word but like
14:17
yeah they just come off a little inauthentic
14:21
yeah that's a fair assessment yeah um and because
14:24
i'm the anal retentive fuck i am um the film
14:29
grain over it i could see where it loops and
14:32
like where the digital like streaks were coming
14:35
in and that annoyed me the entire fucking time
14:37
yeah It was unnecessary. Yeah, you don't need
14:40
to do that shit. Well, and also in Death Proof,
14:42
it kind of like came and went, too. Yeah, I was
14:45
noticing that. It was at the beginning, there
14:46
was a midsection where it had none, and then
14:48
at the end, maybe it was back again. I don't
14:50
remember exactly the sequence. Who was the DP
14:52
for that? They were their own DP. Oh, I was going
14:55
to say, I saw that Robert Rodriguez was his own.
14:57
Yeah, and so was Terry. That tracks, yeah. Which
15:00
is, I mean, fine. I like the idea of them trying
15:02
to kick the tires on different aspects, but,
15:04
you know, I think to varying degrees of success.
15:08
Yeah, I really wish Quentin Tarantino would stop
15:10
trying to act. Oh, he's so fucking bad. He's
15:13
bad. He's even bad in Pulp Fiction, and that's
15:15
probably his best, you know. Yeah. Well, I kind
15:18
of just wish Tarantino would go away at this
15:20
point. Just on the whole. Who? Tarantino. Tarantino?
15:25
I just kind of wish he'd go away on the whole
15:26
right now. Have you heard his most recent, like,
15:29
tirade of interviews and him just kind of shitting
15:31
on everybody he fucking can? Yeah. I mean, he's
15:35
always been sort of that way. Yeah. Just at the
15:38
point now where he's just throwing names out
15:40
of people he doesn't like, like he's not even
15:42
asked about things. He's just like, I fucking
15:44
hate Owen Wilson. People are like, why? He's
15:46
like, I don't like the way he acts. It's like,
15:48
nobody asked you. Fair enough. I've met people
15:52
like that. Yeah. I don't like his face. Well,
15:55
I actually don't like Owen Wilson's face, but
15:57
I do like him. He's very charming. Yeah. He seems
16:00
like kind of a cool guy. Honestly, he grew on
16:02
me. Wow. Luke Wilson, however. Not a fan. Insufferable
16:08
brother. Yeah. Nepo brother. Nepo brother, right?
16:11
Owen's got all the talent. Yep. Bottle rocket,
16:14
baby. Okay, so wait. Who are you, Sean? Nick.
16:22
I'm Nick. Oh, hey. Yeah, we're still doing the
16:25
intro. I'm your host, Sean, with my co -host.
16:28
I've done my part. And our producer, Peter. Hello.
16:33
And our guest. John, I said it like five minutes
16:37
ago. Yeah, it's good. This is going to be perfect.
16:40
No edit episode. Nope. You know, honestly, I
16:46
haven't listened to an episode in like two years.
16:48
So I don't know. I don't know if any of this
16:51
stuff actually ever makes it to air anymore.
16:53
We actually don't even put anything out anymore.
16:55
It's like in a wet hot American summer when it
16:57
like pans down from the kid doing the radio announcements
16:59
and it just shows everything unplugged. Yep.
17:02
I've never actually seen that movie. It's pretty
17:04
fun. Oh, it's terrific. john you want to run
17:06
through the plot of a planet terror yeah i can
17:10
try to do that um there's not a lot it's basically
17:14
they wanted to make a generic zombie movie with
17:18
a lot of gore and like stuff but there is a little
17:22
bit of a plot um i'm thinking about i'm trying
17:26
to debate do i go with chronological order let's
17:28
do that sure i mean that's often a way to tell
17:30
a tale well i mean like so i'm seal team bruce
17:33
willis uh finds osama shoots him twice and his
17:38
laptop once and i think that's at the time that's
17:41
when they find the like gas stuff dc2 yeah which
17:46
everybody seems to know exactly what that is
17:49
i don't is it a real thing it can't be no i think
17:52
it's just something that they didn't need to
17:54
explain because it is in that world yeah dick
17:56
chemical too whatever yeah whatever it would
17:58
be dick chemical too it would feel weird to give
18:01
exposition about something yeah like that in
18:04
that it makes you mutate if you don't see breathe
18:07
more of it yeah that's the thing is you need
18:09
a little bit of it so like i don't know it's
18:11
sort of a bane situation because if they take
18:13
their masks off they start you know getting all
18:16
boily and then eventually seems like your brain
18:18
gets taken over and you kind of just go zombie
18:20
yeah but fast zombie and strong zombie right
18:23
real bubbly zombies though yeah i want to see
18:27
weak zombie like malnourished zombie movie where
18:30
like they they don't really like catch you or
18:33
anything they just kind of shuffle at you and
18:35
like can barely get their arms up but you could
18:37
like push them over my musculature is rotting
18:40
away they had those in the walking dead actually
18:42
they were like the real malnourished ones and
18:45
stuff they get like real weak and shit and then
18:47
they like chain them up perfect yeah i want to
18:50
live 28 days later too oh yeah that's true oh
18:52
we haven't seen that one yet 28 days later? Oh,
18:56
wait, no. Sorry, what did I say? You said days.
18:58
I was thinking 28 years later. Yeah, I haven't
19:01
seen that one yet. Likewise. And you haven't
19:02
gone to the Bone Temple? That's the other one.
19:07
Oh, okay. No, I guess not. You haven't been to
19:10
the Bone Temple? Is that a different film than
19:13
28 Years Later? I think it is a different film.
19:17
I am not entirely sure and don't care. I'm so
19:21
confused by the 28. universe the show the movie
19:27
really starts with rose mcgowan and we should
19:30
probably talk about the whole brought to you
19:32
by the weinstein company this is rose mcgowan
19:35
not the weinstein company brought to you by your
19:38
friends yeah yeah at the weinstein company i
19:41
heard that and i just went oh yeah and then i
19:44
realized it was rose mcgowan and i was like oh
19:47
no oh yeah um sad now so she's not a stripper
19:55
she's a go -go dancer which go -go not cry cry
19:58
right thank you yeah that was one of the lines
20:03
that i actually wrote down we were talking and
20:06
about um i was writing down good lines and then
20:08
i just gave up because there were so many of
20:10
them there's a lot of like witty one -liners
20:12
in this especially at the beginning like i feel
20:15
like it hits like a lot hard oh yeah they got
20:18
all their best writing out yeah and then they're
20:20
like now it's just gonna be like zombie heads
20:21
popping and then occasionally we'll give you
20:23
another good quip yeah yeah okay so she leaves
20:26
um she gets bumped into a trash can and cuts
20:30
her leg and then she goes to a barbecue joint
20:34
called the bone shack tight name yeah my favorite
20:38
is later when it's very on fire and all you see
20:41
is the barbecue sign i was like spot on yeah
20:44
Art masterpiece. Yeah. Oh, so we kind of forgot
20:49
one part. So Bruce Willis wants all the DC to
20:53
write from the weird drug dealer. Naveen Andrews,
20:56
the scientist who also has the weird ball jar.
20:59
And I just did not want to miss the ball jar.
21:01
I was going to get to that. The most 80s scientist
21:04
ever, including the blazer with the rolled up
21:07
sleeves and the headband. Yeah, that was a pretty
21:09
good look. Why did he have the ball? Why was
21:13
that a thing? He liked to collect balls. Yeah,
21:16
when you're a bad guy, you like to cut off balls.
21:18
And he had the knife and the cool scissors for
21:20
it. He had the cool ball tools. He did have cool
21:22
ball tools. What was the middle part of the ball
21:26
scissors for? I think just an anchor point. It
21:29
was like a scissor with a knife in the middle.
21:31
I think you just get that into the taint and
21:34
then it... Oh, I thought maybe it was a sounding
21:36
situation. It goes up the middle. I don't like
21:39
that either. I don't like any of this. maybe
21:42
it's there like it's not sharp or anything it's
21:44
just there in the center to split the balls so
21:47
that way you get one ball around either side
21:49
so when it cuts oh that makes more sense it does
21:52
make sense you can watch them individually and
21:54
you know maybe it protects the ball the gonad
21:57
yeah i'll say this though when they do cut off
21:59
someone's balls they come out one at a time they
22:02
throw one over their shoulder and then the other
22:04
one comes later yeah so uh i was that with the
22:08
scissors or was that when he had his i was sure
22:10
that was this is like hook knife yeah i think
22:12
it was the scissors but yeah and then like Immediately,
22:16
the hubris of having a ball jar smashes on the
22:19
ground. He ends up getting a face full of balls.
22:22
But then he's just stuffing them in his pocket.
22:23
He scrambles like, yeah, he's like, no, not my
22:26
balls. The stuffing the balls in his pocket was
22:29
probably one of the funniest things in this film.
22:32
Incredible, incredible scene. Like, I don't even
22:35
think Naveen Andrews is a great actor, but I
22:37
was just like, this is amazing. This is amazing.
22:40
Goopy ball on your face, shuttling him in your
22:43
pockets, running away. He does have my favorite.
22:45
He does have my favorite onscreen death in this
22:47
film. You know, thinking back to Con Air and
22:49
like having to make a fake Dave Chappelle, I
22:52
was also really laughing at the idea of having
22:53
to make a fake Naveen Andrews like exploded head
22:57
doll like that because it does look like him.
23:00
Just the. Yeah. The actual practical effects
23:05
for like the gore and like the exploding heads
23:08
and like torsos. Best part of this film. So Cherry
23:13
Darling gets to the bone shack, which really
23:16
does sound like a porno. And meets her ex -boyfriend.
23:22
El Rey. Played by Freddy Rodriguez. Based on
23:27
the context clues, is also a former. Badass.
23:31
Army soldier. But he's really good at twirling
23:34
guns. Okay. That boy's got the devil in him.
23:39
I love the scene where he gets the guns and they're
23:41
like, he's showing off with his like, he's showing
23:43
off his cool gun tricks and his cool gun twirls,
23:46
but they have to keep cutting like the shot.
23:49
Yeah. I mean, it makes it look like it's a far
23:52
lower budget film. Yeah. Which is great. So let's
23:56
see. So Fergie is there. Fergie is the girlfriend
23:59
of this doctor and doctor's wife situation. The
24:04
doctor being some sadist played by Josh Brolin.
24:07
Pretty good job. Not Kurt Russell. Not Kurt Russell.
24:10
When the movie started, I was like, which one?
24:13
Which movie is this? Is this the Kurt Russell
24:15
one? They have a kid together who's a dipshit.
24:19
So Sean, you saw the actual movie, right? Like
24:22
the actual two releases. Not like the double
24:25
feature. Was there a post credit scene with the
24:29
kid? Yes. OK, I didn't see that because the version
24:33
I had didn't have that. I didn't see that. That
24:36
it's I just watched like I just rewatched Planet
24:39
Terror before this and I like was skipping to
24:41
the end to see if like the extra trailers were
24:43
at the end of it. And that's the first time I
24:45
saw it, whereas it's just the kid on the beach
24:47
at the end of the film with all of his pets.
24:50
For our listeners, the kid dies in the film,
24:52
shoots himself in the face. yeah like definitely
24:55
dead um but then at the end of the movie it's
24:58
just him on the beach with his animals so shrug
25:04
I don't like beaches. What did this in the double
25:07
feature? Whoa. Whoa. Hold on, Sean. No, I don't
25:13
care for beaches. You don't like beaches? No.
25:15
I also don't really like beaches. Fuck beaches.
25:17
Beaches suck. You guys are all anti beach. Yeah.
25:20
And I lived in Florida for 10 years. Damn. All
25:22
right. I kind of like beaches. I'm pro beach.
25:24
They're boring. They are boring. It's where dirt
25:26
meets water. What was the runtime for this? This
25:29
one was 90. 90. Okay. So. I was wondering if
25:33
they, you know, maybe cut the double feature
25:35
for time, but it doesn't sound like it. I looked
25:38
up. I actually looked up the Wikipedia page that
25:40
is just now because I feel bad for not remembering
25:43
the plot. And as I'm sitting here reading the
25:45
plot, as we're all talking about it, I don't
25:46
feel bad for not remembering the plot anymore.
25:48
It's incredibly stupid. Remarkably thin. Yeah.
25:51
There's barely a plot. Cherry Darlene, Rose McGowan
25:54
gets. her and the el rey get attacked by zombies
25:58
she gets her leg ripped off torn off right he
26:01
gets arrested because the cops don't like him
26:04
they go to the hospital yeah i mean the main
26:10
share the sheriff played by the third best bean
26:12
michael bean michael bean third to sean bean
26:15
best bean and second best bean mr bean yep sean
26:19
mr michael that's how it goes Holy shit. So I
26:22
went to Rachel's Teatro Zanzani show last night
26:24
and they had a character named Mr. Peepy, who
26:27
basically was a Mr. Bean type person, you know,
26:31
sort of walking around and making strange sounds
26:33
that are almost like talking. But he did this
26:35
thing where he juggled three ping pong balls
26:38
with his mouth. That was incredible. It was really
26:40
good. Do you get his number? Yeah, man. Fuck
26:43
yeah. Let's let's throw up. We got at least three
26:45
balls right here. Yes. I got a whole bag of balls.
26:50
Call Naveen Andrews. A weirdly fancy jar for
26:53
your balls. Yes. It looked like the thing that
26:56
in the rock that they kept the balls in. I think
27:00
that was also called DC2. well when you uh it
27:03
wasn't when you have so many balls that you want
27:05
to display you really splurge on your ball container
27:08
ball yeah i wonder i want it to be one of those
27:11
things where like it has you put a light bulb
27:13
in the bottom of it and just sort of like a lava
27:14
lamp eventually they start moving fast you gotta
27:17
warm up though the balls bit reminded me of the
27:24
bruce willis scenes for some reason uh is bruce
27:27
willis actually in this movie with anybody or
27:28
is he just shot separately I think he might be
27:31
shot separately. I don't think he's ever actually
27:32
on screen at the same time with anybody. I mean,
27:36
maybe with some like background actors running
27:37
around. Right. There would be people standing
27:39
behind him or something. Yeah. OK, so, yeah,
27:42
plot line. Let's see. Let's let's speed run this.
27:44
So Cherry Darling loses her leg. The doctors
27:47
are all at the hospital. Lady Doctor escapes
27:49
from bad husband doctor after Fergie is trying
27:53
to kill her brain. Yeah, she leaps right out
27:55
of the window. Yeah, that's pretty cool. A bunch
27:57
of trash. When she opens up the door and like
28:01
she can't. I forgot about that. Like when I first
28:03
from like initial watching and then the other
28:07
day it was just like when she shoves her hand
28:09
down in there and the like slips and falls. Oh,
28:13
God. Breaks her wrist. That's the part of this
28:16
film that I always forget about and hate. Yeah.
28:18
Yeah. It gets a reaction. Yeah. Like after he
28:22
she gets drugged up, she loses like. you know
28:26
find muscle control in her hand so there's a
28:29
lot of like flopping around to do stuff she tries
28:33
to open the door by like sticking her hand in
28:35
the handle and like opening hitting the latch
28:37
with her foot what else i mean what there's nothing
28:40
important in this movie it's like it's incredibly
28:42
stupid uh so they patch up cherry's leg at the
28:48
hospital right and for some reason at the bottom
28:51
they put in this giant Well, they put in that
28:53
giant metal square. Yeah. Future mounting. They
28:59
give her like a Barrett arm from Final Fantasy
29:02
7. That comes back to play. Yeah, sure does.
29:06
And then jam a table leg on it, which works somehow.
29:10
No, the hospital didn't do that. No, they were
29:12
a little more delicate about the situation. Them
29:16
escaping from the hospital is one of my favorite
29:18
scenes. Just Rose McGowan like. On the fake leg,
29:22
just like stumbling around. It's done so well.
29:25
And El Rey just like fucking working those knives.
29:28
Yeah, with butterfly knives. He never misses.
29:34
Yeah, it was a good line. Escaping from the hospital
29:38
with the cops, they get back to the bone shack
29:41
and we get the history. behind cherry darling
29:47
and lra um cut to sex scene cut to film burning
29:51
away and scene missing sorry and then other movie
29:55
or just we're gonna just skip all the boring
29:59
parts and just get to the action they spent so
30:01
much time on that sex scene too it's like really
30:04
luxuriating in it it was like all right i understand
30:07
what's going on here but like come on yeah it's
30:11
no big top peewee makeout scene but But what
30:16
is? This movie does one thing right that I do
30:20
absolutely love from this type of cinema. Having
30:24
just rewatched the original Highlander, which
30:26
I'd put as like a high budget grindhouse film
30:29
in a lot of ways. The monster, enemy, whatever,
30:35
like a bad thing coming just out of the periphery
30:38
of everyone there and nobody saw it. Like when
30:41
the cop's going to give the deputy his ring.
30:44
And the zombie like jumps out of just to the
30:48
right of the camera and nobody saw him. Nobody
30:51
notices it. Yeah, right. Yeah. But I feel like
30:54
that's that kind of shit's intentional in this,
30:56
right? Like it's very purposefully dumb, right?
30:58
Yeah. Now, like I said, I just rewatched Highlander
31:02
and every like fight scene is Clancy Brown coming
31:06
just slightly to the left. Chris Lambert just
31:10
like coming just. They've been having like a
31:12
five minute conversation and Clancy Brown just
31:14
like jumps out of. Just to the left and no one
31:18
saw him there. Well, he is blind. Yeah, well,
31:21
it makes sense when you realize Chris Lambert
31:23
is legally blind. Plotline stuff, John, anything
31:27
else that you feel like to talk about? no it's
31:30
just a it's it's a there's a lot of badass action
31:33
scenes rose so rose mcgowan slash cherry um eventually
31:38
replaces table leg with a gun grenade launcher
31:42
yeah ray does that i don't remember what it is
31:45
it's that cool gun that's got like yeah like
31:47
an m16 or whatever like whatever it's got a grenade
31:49
launcher on it it also has a bayonet but the
31:52
blade doesn't stick past the barrel so why because
31:55
it looks cool for chopping yeah it's only for
31:58
chopping Also, from the school of action movies,
32:02
John Woo action movies where no one has to reload
32:04
at the end of this film, she's like grenade launching
32:07
herself over walls and shit. I was so hoping
32:10
that was going to happen at some point and then
32:12
it did. Yeah, worth it. It's like stand up in
32:15
the movie theater clapping. You're like, hell
32:16
yeah, this is for me. Yeah, the rocket jumps
32:20
great. As I'm watching this film and I'm kind
32:23
of like, you know, debating whether or not, you
32:26
know, genre like. genre picture works like is
32:29
this a spoof is it not is it too serious is it
32:31
like going far enough and it's only this last
32:33
like 10 minutes of the film when it gets to just
32:35
this craziness i'm like this is what this entire
32:38
movie should have been we shouldn't have been
32:39
building up to this we should have just started
32:41
at 10 and kept going i don't know i thought it
32:45
was fun nonsense i really enjoy this so i started
32:48
got up early this morning and watched started
32:50
watching it with headphones on um And then Marcy
32:53
got up about 45 minutes and she, you know, had
32:56
a cup of coffee and sat down and started watching
32:59
it with me. And she's like, this is awesome.
33:01
Like, it's just a fun, stupid watch. There's
33:05
stupid, bad movies, which is kind of the hallmark
33:08
of the genre, the genre that they're working
33:12
off of. And as like actual grindhouse films,
33:15
I don't think they're really. Well, I mean, they
33:19
can't really be. actual grindhouse films 30 million
33:22
dollar budget yes exactly by two massive you
33:25
know at the time superstar directors yeah but
33:28
as films of like oh you know i saw and i like
33:31
these films clearly too much money and too much
33:36
talent can make it like just look inauthentic
33:40
but yeah it feels like like these directors know
33:43
the style and they're just having a lot of fun
33:47
with it um I enjoy watching both of these movies.
33:52
I liked the effects a lot in Planet Terror. And
33:58
the comedy for me was really good. Yeah. Yeah.
34:01
I mean, it's it's just a fun, dorky little watch.
34:03
You're not you're not going to be a better person
34:05
for watching. You might be a worse person. No,
34:07
probably not a worse person. I watched the two
34:10
movies backwards because I had remembered liking
34:13
Death Proof the first time I saw this in theaters
34:16
back in 2007. And I was like, I'm going to start
34:19
there. And I wish I hadn't. Well, maybe I'm glad
34:22
that I did. But I ended up liking Planet Terror
34:24
a lot more than I remembered because it was like
34:27
very dumb. And it was the right kind of dumb
34:29
for me at my age right now, maybe. So I was as
34:33
I was watching this or as I was watching Death
34:36
Proof, I was like, these movies should have been
34:38
in reverse order. I feel like I would have been
34:40
much more into the kind of slowish burn of Death
34:45
Proof at the beginning, whereas coming off of.
34:48
um planet terror i was like it's kind of boring
34:51
i think that was probably an intentional well
34:55
my understanding is the way this originally happened
34:57
was robert rodriguez was just like i got this
34:59
fun schlocky idea for like a grindhouse style
35:03
film that he was trying to sell to tarantino
35:05
to like help produce and he's like that's great
35:07
i'll make one too and tarantino just kind of
35:09
like glommed onto this as a project and probably
35:12
helped get some funding for it overall i don't
35:15
know rodriguez had all that spy kids money But
35:20
in terms of like commercial commercials and advertising
35:25
this film, I don't think that if they went. Death
35:30
Proof forward, because I remember the original
35:31
ad campaign was all Planet Terror and like some
35:35
just shots of like car chases from Death Proof.
35:37
But I think if they went Death Proof forward,
35:39
this wouldn't have gotten as much buzz around
35:41
it in the mid aughts or interest. The main thing
35:47
I remember from the advertising was Gun Leg.
35:49
Yeah. And I was 17 when this came out. Perfect
35:53
age for Gun Leg. For Gun Leg. Never saw it. Yeah.
35:57
Interesting. Yeah. Well, I remember when this
35:59
came out because I did see it in theaters with
36:01
friends like opening night and thoroughly enjoyed
36:03
it. I think having the shorter of the two because
36:06
the Tarantino films two hours. I think if you
36:10
would have gone into that, then there was a break.
36:11
I think people might have walked. um but i remember
36:14
after seeing it loving it when i originally saw
36:16
it and like going to college talking to just
36:19
average people about the film and they're like
36:22
a double feature i don't know if i could sit
36:23
in a theater that long i'm like you've watched
36:26
all of the lord of the rings films in the theater
36:28
you could have sat through this it's not that
36:29
bad too long you get a fucking intermission i
36:33
love an intermission yeah well i went to see
36:35
the hateful eight um so quinn tarantino did the
36:38
hateful eight and that was on some fancy film
36:41
whatever and they only showed it in that fancy
36:44
film in like a dozen, maybe two dozen theaters
36:47
around the country. And one of them was near
36:50
me in Florida and actually went and did it. And
36:52
they did that whole shtick. There was like an,
36:54
like a solid 15, 20 minute intermission in the
36:57
middle. Cause it's a long movie. Yeah. And like,
36:59
you know, you got like this big handout thing.
37:02
It was a whole extra deal. But yeah, intermission
37:05
is kind of nice. I mean, as a person who definitely
37:07
has to pee every movie somewhere in the middle,
37:10
like I'm pro intermission. Well, I will say when
37:14
this movie came out, there was no intermission.
37:16
It's a bench. Watch movies at home. I just be
37:19
on the couch then. You're right. Yeah, the trailers
37:24
exist not as an intermission, but as just a transitionary.
37:28
And I remember my friends and I went to the midnight
37:31
show of this, so we didn't get home till like
37:33
4 a .m. Yeah. OK, well, let's switch to Death
37:37
Proof then and we can talk about Tarantino's
37:40
love of feet. yeah feet on display it's so it's
37:44
so egregious in this film well it's in a lot
37:49
of his shit i remember uh pulp fiction yeah i
37:53
know and i've like i've never paid that much
37:55
attention to it until i knew about it and then
37:57
the first shot of this film is just bare feet
37:59
well so so maya hawk was getting interviewed
38:02
and uh her mom's uma thurman and her mom because
38:07
my did something with Tarantino. I can't remember.
38:09
Uh, I think it's, um, once upon a time in Hollywood,
38:13
she's one of the characters in there. And her
38:16
only advice to her daughter was keep your shoes
38:19
on. Uh, pervy ass Tarantino. I enjoy this film
38:27
more personally. Um, so how do we want to discuss
38:31
this movie? Cause technically I feel like it's
38:32
two movies. Well, yeah, I mean, that's a good
38:35
point. I mean, there's sort of the invincible
38:37
version of Stuntman Mike. And then there's the
38:40
other. There's yeah, there's the initial with
38:43
Jungle Julia, the girls night at a bar. And there's
38:47
this creepy Kurt Russell character, Stuntman
38:50
Mike, who's just kind of hovering around all
38:52
night. And then yet another Rose McGowan. At
38:55
the end of the film, serial killer, but uses
38:58
his car as a murder weapon. Nice little concept.
39:03
Nice slow burn. A lot of fun. It's done in the
39:06
same grindhouse effect as Planet Terror. It's
39:11
got the grain filter. Technically takes place
39:13
in the same universe because we see the hospital,
39:15
the sheriff, and the doctor. Jungle Julia gets
39:21
a shout out in Planet Terror. yeah which was
39:25
also interesting because they they say like you
39:26
know rest in peace jungle julia in planet terror
39:29
um which obviously doesn't mean jack shit to
39:32
you at that time if you're watching it in sequence
39:33
but i thought again if these were flipped movies
39:36
you would get more of that but you know whatever
39:38
i guess the world is ruined at the end of no
39:42
that makes even more sense the world is ruined
39:43
at the end of planet terror so yeah yeah so we
39:46
have that and uh so and apparently planet terror
39:49
takes place in austin if this is the case sure
39:53
yeah but then we have you know we have that great
39:56
like murder scene where kurt russell like drives
39:58
through the car and we see each girl's death
40:00
in the car get more and more gruesome with each
40:03
death what was the deal with the cigarette lighter
40:06
because he pulls his cigarette no that's uh the
40:09
headlights in old cars your headlights were a
40:12
little pole thingy yeah before my time and then
40:15
hard cut from there and then we go to the hospital
40:17
scene then we get a hard cut to just a tarantino
40:20
film it starts off in black and white they lose
40:22
the grain filter and it's just 14 months later
40:27
i think is the time transition but it's another
40:29
movie and outside of crazy guy in a car there's
40:33
no connection yeah i never really yeah you're
40:37
right it was super disconnected i never understood
40:39
the motivation like yeah you know serial killer
40:41
whatever like you need to have a little bit of
40:43
a motivation yeah it's more than yeah find people
40:46
who have like hot cars or something that you're
40:48
like no i'm the better i'm the better driver
40:49
you know whatever it might be but it just seemed
40:52
like sort of random because it was jungle julia
40:55
butterfly who also was a dancer i think maybe
40:58
i can't remember um just like two random yeah
41:02
i think friends of theirs and yeah yeah i don't
41:05
know i feel bad for butterfly she got fucked
41:06
yeah well there's connections you know it's groups
41:09
of girls uh four girls each time yeah uh one
41:13
of them at least has to be black it's true uh
41:16
one of them has to be from somewhere else because
41:19
they have an accent uh new york and not australian
41:22
yeah i found myself getting annoyed by a lot
41:25
of the the extended lingering shots um not just
41:28
defeat but like when kurt russell's like taking
41:30
photos of the second group of girls uh coming
41:33
out of the airport and we just have like 90 seconds,
41:35
two minutes of just like shutter shots and stuff.
41:38
Like we get it. He's creepy. Move on. This movie
41:41
is two hours long. I don't need this. It's certainly
41:43
not two minutes. It's over a minute. I, okay.
41:51
I like the concept, the idea of a stunt man with
41:55
a death proof car using that to go kill people.
41:58
That sounds super cool, but like the movie just
42:00
did not pay off on that at all. No, it set it
42:03
up and then just totally fucked it over. Not
42:07
to say that the ending isn't still kind of fun,
42:10
but they just feel disconnected. I did not like
42:14
this nearly as much as I liked Planet Terror.
42:18
And I think part of it was because of the order,
42:21
like I was talking about earlier, is like Planet
42:22
Terror is just like. constant action one -liners
42:26
like real fun and then you switch to this and
42:28
it's more of a slow burn before you get to any
42:30
real like action or anything and um yeah it just
42:37
doesn't have enough to really like pull you in
42:40
or at least me yeah yeah it's a long burn to
42:43
even get to the first kill scene and then you
42:46
know all these people even like trying to pay
42:48
attention to as characters get fucking definitely
42:51
murdered in gruesome ways butterfly's face gets
42:54
tired off but i mean it works as a horror it
42:57
works as a short little slasher horror film it's
42:59
like because each movie is about 60 each half
43:02
is about 60 minutes and it works where you have
43:04
the killer kind of like you get to know him like
43:06
he seems like a nice enough guy a little creepy
43:08
a little you know but and then you get to the
43:11
murderizing and then the second half isn't about
43:15
him at all and he's barely the only association
43:18
is he shows up at the end like he sees the girls
43:20
at the beginning and then he shows up at the
43:22
end but there's not the same bill to it to his
43:26
attack on them yeah that that second one definitely
43:29
doesn't make any sense i mean it's a love letter
43:31
to um old hollywood stunt driving uh the australian
43:36
chick is a stunt woman new zealand they did all
43:39
that stuff new zealand um yeah they specifically
43:42
call that out yeah that's you know so it's a
43:45
love letter to that and that part's great but
43:47
it's just an excuse to have that chase sequence
43:50
without having an actual plot yeah i will say
43:55
this the chase sequence is pretty solid pretty
43:57
good i really enjoyed them as chase sequences
43:59
yeah i did like that um i also liked the transition
44:03
from stuntman mike being this sort of like invulnerable
44:06
asshole like force to getting shot and being
44:09
like a super bitch baby yeah like squealing almost
44:13
the beat down he gets at the end is also terrific
44:16
pretty fantastic yeah also i like the clips like
44:19
in the middle like um it would cut to two different
44:22
shots without actually like moving the camera
44:25
it's like they cut out like you know 10 frames
44:27
or something it just goes yeah Uh, also, uh,
44:31
the three girls who go off in the car, uh, bad
44:33
friends. Cause they left their, uh, they left
44:36
their one friend there with sling blade. Her
44:41
last line in the film is gulp. Especially because
44:47
they, they dress like a cheerleader. They tell
44:52
them she's like a porn star or something. Yeah,
44:53
exactly. Oh, was it one of those pornos? It's
44:57
like, here you go, Lee. Enjoy entertaining this
44:59
guy while we steal his car. Bye, friend. All
45:03
because the one girl wanted to drive that specific
45:05
car. Yeah. And then never drove it. Yeah. She
45:09
wanted to ride on the hood of that specific car.
45:11
Oh, yeah. It started with she wanted to drive
45:14
it. And then once she was there, she was like,
45:16
I want to do the ship's mast. Ship's mast. Yeah.
45:20
Oh, I will say my favorite quote from these films
45:22
does come from Death Proof. And it's. the connecting
45:26
bit of death proof and, uh, planet terror when
45:29
they're in the hospital and you have, uh, the
45:32
doctor's, um, dad, uh, sheriff goes talking about
45:37
why Kurt Russell killed these girls. Well, I
45:41
guesstimate it's a sex thing. My favorite line
45:45
from this movie or these movies was in the machete
45:48
trailer. He's talking to his priest buddy, trying
45:52
to like pull him in and he goes, like a cheech
45:54
marin yeah and he goes like thanks bro i mean
45:57
padre to uh very enjoyable scripts of bad writing
46:05
but like purposefully bad writing i feel like
46:08
yeah which is kind of how i get to the point
46:11
of like i mean they miss the mark of being actual
46:14
grindhouse films but they're uh they're still
46:18
enjoyable well i think this is a good time then
46:20
to talk about some of that shit right like you
46:22
you did a bigger dive into the actual grindhouse
46:24
movies so like one what movies did you watch
46:26
two which ones were best and then three you know
46:29
like what's your takeaway on that genre uh so
46:34
okay yeah there's since it's kind of a broad
46:38
genre that's mostly you know uh best characterized
46:44
by like low budget action horror And I watched
46:49
a couple different types of movies. So I watched
46:52
a couple of Pam Grier movies. I watched Coffee
46:54
where she is a shotgun toting nurse that goes
46:59
around and kills bad people. Like she's just
47:03
a nurse vigilante with a shotgun. Pretty cool.
47:07
Then I watched a movie called Dead End Drive
47:10
-In. This one's a post -apocalyptic. movie where
47:13
jails or uh drive -in movies are used as uh jails
47:17
for people and so this kid and his girlfriend
47:21
go there and like they're kind of shitty people
47:24
and while they're watching the movie the cops
47:26
steal the tires off of his car so they can't
47:29
leave and it's in the middle of nowhere so that's
47:32
how these kids get stuck in there and it's all
47:35
uh an adventure of trying to like get all their
47:39
stuff to get out but it's like as soon as he
47:40
gets tired somebody steals part of his engine
47:44
so it's like oh well it's like the surfer yeah
47:46
you just always stuck there you definitely can't
47:48
just walk nope i watched uh white mom black mama
47:54
white mama which is pam greer and some white
47:58
lady i love how much pam greer is in all of these
48:00
like so cool the lady from archer was she an
48:04
archer yeah she's one of the voices in archer
48:08
uh so yeah i'm gonna continue on uh they're like
48:12
handcuffed together and they're escaping from
48:16
prison but they're like two completely different
48:19
kinds of people like pam greer is a prostitute
48:22
and uh different one yeah is the character name
48:28
oh yeah it's judy greer is the actress and then
48:31
pam is the badass character i think we combined
48:35
not played by judy greer Correct. Carol slash
48:39
Cheryl slash Charlene. Sorry. Outlaw country.
48:44
Nailed it. So, yeah, it's a prostitute and a
48:47
revolutionary like handcuffed together as they
48:50
try to escape jail. But they have different motivations,
48:53
so they have to work all that out. That sounds
48:56
great. Yeah, these movies sound kind of awesome.
48:58
Dude, they're all fucking great. That also makes
49:01
me think of Crippled Masters again. But, you
49:02
know, I don't know to dive into that right now.
49:05
so after that i went a little harder and i went
49:08
to ilsa she wolf of the ss and that one is uh
49:13
kind of like a combined story about a lot of
49:16
the different horrors that were going on in the
49:19
concentration camps of like medical experimentation
49:21
and torture and all that wrapped into something
49:25
that's borderline a porno and because every woman
49:29
in this movie you will see topless at some point
49:32
there's pretty good sex scenes in it no no pen
49:36
but uh you know you get everything up to that
49:39
point um you gotta earn that x rating yeah but
49:44
that was pretty good lots of uh a very very gory
49:48
kind of booby -filled movie so speaking of pam
49:53
greer we should probably mention jackie brown
49:55
since the time with quentin tarantino right which
49:58
came out in i literally just looked at it 90s
50:01
i was gonna say early 90s right 97 oh later than
50:04
i saw 10 years before this but you know he's
50:07
already got that kind of he's already delved
50:10
into well that's black exploitation but yeah
50:12
you know well all the exploitation films fit
50:15
nicely into grind houses i like that there's
50:18
a canadian exploitation sub -genre of that too
50:21
what can exploitation oh well ilsa is a canadian
50:28
film there we go perfect i got to claim i was
50:30
watching foreign films that day that's right
50:32
it's an art house film uh it's from another country
50:34
it's okay i can watch this all the german peace
50:38
stuff art film yeah but uh just watching all
50:42
of them like they have kind of certainly different
50:45
styles and different fields but it they all kind
50:48
of they they jive the same way and like your
50:53
acting is going to be pretty straightforward
50:55
like uh just line deliveries and people like
51:00
making it to where they need to stand like hitting
51:02
all their marks and stuff like that that's the
51:05
baseline yeah not a lot of retakes yeah no that's
51:08
true film's expensive so um and In that, I can
51:13
see the way Rodriguez and Tarantino were emulating
51:18
the styles, but clearly there was just too much
51:21
talent behind the work and too much money. Going
51:26
to the talent behind the work, getting Hollywood
51:30
actors, good Hollywood actors, to act bad is
51:35
its own special kind of hell. yeah i bet everybody
51:39
had a lot of fun filming these yeah i agree with
51:41
that i'm sure i'm sure it was fun i just i watching
51:45
good actors try and be bad actors is just painful
51:49
for me yeah i would have preferred if these were
51:52
like nobodies yeah Like the most we got, the
51:57
best bad acting that seems very authentic is
52:00
the kid who shoots his head off, which is one
52:03
of Rodriguez's kids, I believe. Every kid is
52:05
a terrible actor. They're so bad. They don't
52:09
even know who they own are. One every generation
52:11
turns out to be a good actor. I mean, fuck, dude.
52:14
If I were a director, 100 % I would put my kids
52:17
in these things. Why not? It's fun. Give it an
52:21
opportunity for them to just have fun being silly.
52:23
Like you get to hang out with your dad. That's
52:25
how you get a Jaden Smith. Well, I mean, okay.
52:29
So for every, for every Jaden Smith you get.
52:31
What about the Apatow kids, right? Like they're
52:34
in all of his movies and they don't, they seem
52:36
normal teenagers by now. Probably. Yeah. I haven't
52:40
heard any crazy shit. Yeah. But yeah, I mean,
52:42
Jaden Smith is a outlier. Sofia Coppola. She
52:48
just is a shitty actor. She's a fine director.
52:50
Yeah, I'm just saying, like, don't don't cast
52:53
your shitty kids in fucking movies. Cast other
52:56
people's shitty kids in your shitty movies. That's
52:58
right. But at least make sure those kids can
53:01
fucking act. Yeah. I don't know. All in all for
53:04
this, like, I felt pretty good about watching
53:06
it other than the time commitment, which was
53:08
a stark reminder of the fact that we used to
53:11
do two movies every single fucking episode. I
53:13
don't miss that. Wow. That was a lot that we
53:16
put on our plate for two and a half years or
53:19
whatever it was. I think I will say my final
53:25
thoughts on both these films. I enjoyed Death
53:26
Proof a lot. I don't know that I'll ever watch
53:29
Planet Terror again. It just does not instill
53:33
joy in me at 41 as it did when I was 27. I think
53:38
I lean pretty heavily in the same direction.
53:41
I like Death Proof a lot. I like the suspense
53:46
aspect of it. The kind of film where it's like
53:50
you see Mike the Hunter and then you see the
53:54
aspect of like the prey seeing Mike the Hunter.
53:58
So it kind of flips the narrative in that on
54:01
the split. I like the character that Kurt Russell
54:05
gave. uh overall i like that movie a lot um and
54:10
you know i fucking love car chases and cool stunt
54:13
work so it's it's definitely filmed better it's
54:17
a more beautiful film like i think it needed
54:19
to not have the film grain garbage on it i mean
54:21
that filter could have been deleted from both
54:24
films and it would have been better i think if
54:26
i watch death proof again i'm gonna watch the
54:28
first half the actual like slasher film and then
54:32
i'm gonna watch the last 20 minutes and i'm just
54:34
gonna cut out All of the second group of girls
54:39
like. Yeah, they're hanging out at a coffee shop
54:43
or whatever. I don't need to know anything about
54:45
these characters other than two of them are stunt
54:48
women and they're going to get in a chase later.
54:51
But Planet Terror, I liked enough. You know,
54:54
I enjoy myself when I watch it. I don't think
54:57
it's really that good. Even for like what I think
55:03
it's trying to be. But, you know, it's enjoyable
55:06
and it's fun. It's got great special effects.
55:09
And I love good practical effects like popping
55:12
the big like pustules on their faces. Oh, so
55:15
gross. Oh, yeah. Greg Nicotero, by the way. Same
55:17
guy that did Walking Dead and then actually took
55:22
that show over. Like kind of a famous makeup
55:24
guy. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean,
55:26
you think about like that when they're driving
55:28
El Rey's truck, you know, to escape towards the
55:31
end. And it's just like. People getting slammed
55:33
by it and turning into balloons. Does he call
55:35
it the killdozer? He does. He does at one point.
55:38
Oh, the helicopter. The helicopter is what I
55:42
was going to mention. That was awesome. Also,
55:44
that's not how physics work. No. No. The minibike.
55:49
Did we need the minibike? Oh, my God. Was there
55:51
a payoff to the minibike? Oh, my God. I don't
55:53
care. No, it was amazing. Just seeing him with
55:55
his legs splayed out in silhouette was incredible.
55:58
Doing the wheelie as he rides off. uh that's
56:02
just like that's the kind of fun that i got from
56:04
that one that like i wanted both of them to have
56:07
more of well planet terror is definitely like
56:09
a a whole uh yeah horror comedy or whatever uh
56:14
the comedy aspect is ingrained in it it's intentional
56:18
and it's meant to be there and yeah yeah i would
56:20
much rather watch planet terror over death proof
56:23
um no that's fine Yeah, I know. My vote doesn't
56:27
count. I think what I've learned from this episode
56:30
is I don't really care for either of these directors
56:33
at this point in my life. Fair. So I don't remember
56:38
who it was. Somebody was talking about how terrible
56:40
it is watching good actors be bad actors. It
56:42
was Sean. Yeah. I really enjoyed it. I like when
56:47
I can see intentionality behind art and like
56:50
watching these people clearly have. a blast being
56:53
bad actors like it was just fun for me it was
56:57
like watching um like a band on stage that's
57:00
clearly having fun kind of thing i don't know
57:02
it just gives me the warm and warm fuzzies you
57:05
know i think back to some of my favorite low
57:07
budget like films ice pirates You have a couple
57:13
of people who went on to do great things, but
57:15
you have like the main guy. I have no idea who
57:18
the main guy is and he hams it up and he's cheesy
57:20
and you know, he's trying his fucking hardest
57:21
and that's why it works. See, I don't like that.
57:24
As opposed to Bruce Willis being like, just kind
57:27
of trying to act bad. And I'm just like, this
57:30
is just weird and just stilted in a way that
57:34
isn't authentic and doesn't like, it just seems
57:37
a little try hard to be bad. Yeah, I don't know.
57:42
I the Bruce Willis of it is hard because I think
57:44
he's actually just kind of a shitty actor. But
57:46
I literally turned to Marcy as we were watching
57:50
this and I was like, I miss Bruce Willis. Yeah,
57:52
me too. I mean, the classics are the classics,
57:55
but like beyond the classics, it's like it's
57:57
a bunch of dog shit. Yeah. Well, I was just kind
58:00
of also thinking about just kind of like what
58:01
went down with them, you know? Oh, totally. No,
58:03
it's very sad. I mean, so much of his later output
58:06
was just to try and make money for his family
58:08
because he knew he was on borrowed time. Well,
58:10
let's end on that beautiful high note. We miss
58:13
you, Bruce Willis. Yeah, we love you. If you
58:17
ever hear me say this, you're going to forget
58:18
it immediately. Oh, I made myself sad. I know.
58:26
Next up, we got Astro Boy, which I have never
58:28
seen before, so I'm kind of interested in this.
58:31
One of you watch like the old school like anime.
58:34
Oh, yeah, we'll check some out. You know, I want
58:36
to see some of it, like the inspiration behind
58:37
a weird full 3D movie. Like why? Why Nick Cage
58:43
is the dad creator? We will find out. This is
58:46
my friend Tiffany's like favorite Nick Cage movie.
58:49
So I'm excited. She's talked this up to me, so
58:50
I'm excited to see it. It'll be great. So, yeah,
58:54
thanks to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie, Matt,
58:56
Adam, Bill, Stuart and Willow. And to our cage
58:59
dancers, John. Hi. And Freeman, Nathan and Cameron.
59:02
I paid to be here. That's true. You have. You've
59:05
earned it. You've earned it by paying us. And
59:08
a special thanks to our for our intro music to
59:10
Bill Panks. And thank you all for listening.
59:12
And we'll be back in two weeks for more antics.