Latest / Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic / 30: That “You’ve Done It Now” Feeling

Transcript

30: That “You’ve Done It Now” Feeling · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Speaker: You know that moment when something small happens and your mind goes, oh man, you've really done it now.
• 0:08
  Speaker: That's what this episode is about.
• 0:11
  Speaker: I.
• 0:11
  Speaker: Welcome to Banish the Lies, the podcast where we outsmart that sneaky inner critic and get closer to the truth that sets us free.
• 0:23
  Speaker: I'm Tania Cervoni, your host and fellow work in Progress here to share real stories and small shifts that help you reclaim what fear and doubt once stole.
• 0:33
  Speaker: Let's jump in.
• 0:35
  Speaker: Hey friends.
• 0:40
  Speaker: I want to share something that happened recently.
• 0:43
  Speaker: I'm at my parents' place for Easter.
• 0:46
  Speaker: We've got people in the house.
• 0:48
  Speaker: It's late.
• 0:49
  Speaker: My dad has already gone to bed, and I go to turn down the thermostat because I like it a bit cooler when I sleep and as I go to adjust it, the whole thing just glitches.
• 1:03
  Speaker: The screen goes blank.
• 1:06
  Speaker: Lights start flashing and it becomes completely unresponsive and within seconds I feel it.
• 1:14
  Speaker: That rush, that urgency, that feeling of dread, it's that sense like, oh my God, I need to fix this and I need to fix this now.
• 1:28
  Speaker: My poor mom senses my stress.
• 1:32
  Speaker: She comes over, she starts pressing every single button.
• 1:35
  Speaker: Nothing's working.
• 1:37
  Speaker: I'm trying to troubleshoot this, and I can feel my body going into like full alert.
• 1:45
  Speaker: And I literally started sweating.
• 1:48
  Speaker: And the thought that went racing through my mind was, if I don't fix this, my dad's gonna kill me now.
• 1:58
  Speaker: I know that sounds rather dramatic, but in that moment, it didn't feel dramatic.
• 2:04
  Speaker: It felt real.
• 2:05
  Speaker: And what struck me wasn't just that I was anxious, it was like how intense the reaction was compared to what was actually happening.
• 2:16
  Speaker: Because yeah, there was a problem.
• 2:20
  Speaker: And yes, there was a chance my dad might be upset in the morning if it wasn't fixed, but.
• 2:27
  Speaker: There was also a chance he'd handle it just fine.
• 2:31
  Speaker: There was really no guarantee either way, and my body didn't leave any room for that second possibility.
• 2:38
  Speaker: It went straight to, you must fix this immediately and not let this become a problem.
• 2:44
  Speaker: And the intensity of my reaction made me realize this wasn't just about the thermostat.
• 2:52
  Speaker: It brought me back to a time in my life where.
• 2:56
  Speaker: Situations like this didn't feel small, were making a mistake or causing a problem, had consequences.
• 3:05
  Speaker: And somewhere along the way, my system learned, don't mess things up.
• 3:10
  Speaker: And if you do, you better fix it and fast.
• 3:14
  Speaker: And even though things are much, much different now, my reaction didn't reflect that it came from somewhere older and.
• 3:26
  Speaker: I've been thinking a lot about this because I'm guessing it's not just me.
• 3:33
  Speaker: You may not relate to my exact story.
• 3:37
  Speaker: Maybe you've never broken a thermostat, but I have a feeling that the pattern might still feel familiar.
• 3:44
  Speaker: Something happens, and instead of responding to the facts of the situation, we respond with a story based on the past, for example.
• 3:55
  Speaker: You get a vague message from your boss and immediately think you're in trouble, or someone's acting a bit off and you assume you did something wrong, or maybe you make a small mistake and it feels way bigger than it actually is.
• 4:13
  Speaker: And underneath all of that, there's something like, what did I do wrong?
• 4:20
  Speaker: Or, why are they mad at me?
• 4:22
  Speaker: Or, this is somehow my fault.
• 4:25
  Speaker: And that's exactly where I went.
• 4:28
  Speaker: And really quickly, and to be very honest, I was surprised by the intensity of my reaction.
• 4:39
  Speaker: I, I didn't realize the level of fear I still carried in me.
• 4:44
  Speaker: In certain situations around making mistakes.
• 4:48
  Speaker: And what struck me is how fast it happens.
• 4:52
  Speaker: Something small happens and my mind fills in the rest.
• 4:56
  Speaker: You know, worst case scenario, it's my fault.
• 4:58
  Speaker: Fix it now.
• 4:59
  Speaker: And this all happens before I've even had a chance to take a breath.
• 5:04
  Speaker: And in that moment, you know, with the thermostat, there was another possibility that it would be fine.
• 5:13
  Speaker: That even if it wasn't perfectly fine, it could be handled in the morning and that I didn't need to solve it right then and there, and I couldn't see any of that.
• 5:26
  Speaker: Like that did not even register in my brain.
• 5:29
  Speaker: So I've been sitting with this question, where might I be doing this in other areas of my life where something happens?
• 5:41
  Speaker: And I immediately decide what it means before I've even checked if that's actually true.
• 5:48
  Speaker: And if you can relate to that kind of reaction, I'd be curious what this brings up for you.
• 5:59
  Speaker: I always appreciate hearing from you, and you can find a link in the show notes if you want to reach out.
• 6:07
  Speaker: Take care.
• 6:09
  Speaker: Thanks for listening to Banish The Lies.
• 6:15
  Speaker: If today's episode resonated with you, take a moment to let it settle in.
• 6:19
  Speaker: And maybe share it with a friend who could use it too.
• 6:22
  Speaker: Lies, lose their power when we're brave enough to challenge them.
• 6:26
  Speaker: I'm Tania Cerv oni, and until next time, be kind to yourself.
• 6:31
  Speaker: And remember, you're not broken, you're not alone, and you don't have to stay stuck.