Latest / Confident and Empowered Women / The Version of You They Loved Is The One Holding You Back | EP 297

Transcript

The Version of You They Loved Is The One Holding You Back | EP 297 · Confident and Empowered Women

• 0:05
  Somebody
• 0:06
  in
• 0:07
  your
• 0:07
  life
• 0:07
  loves
• 0:08
  the
• 0:08
  version
• 0:09
  of
• 0:09
  you
• 0:09
  that
• 0:10
  always
• 0:10
  shows
• 0:10
  up.
• 0:11
  The
• 0:11
  one
• 0:11
  who
• 0:12
  never
• 0:12
  complains,
• 0:13
  the
• 0:13
  one
• 0:13
  who
• 0:13
  figures
• 0:14
  it
• 0:14
  out,
• 0:14
  the
• 0:15
  one
• 0:15
  who
• 0:15
  says,
• 0:16
  I'm
• 0:16
  fine
• 0:17
  before
• 0:17
  anybody
• 0:18
  even
• 0:19
  finishes
• 0:19
  asking.
• 0:22
  The
• 0:22
  one
• 0:23
  who
• 0:23
  makes
• 0:23
  herself
• 0:23
  smaller
• 0:24
  so
• 0:25
  everyone
• 0:25
  else
• 0:25
  can
• 0:25
  feel
• 0:26
  comfortable.
• 0:27
  The
• 0:27
  one
• 0:27
  who
• 0:27
  offers
• 0:28
  to
• 0:28
  help,
• 0:29
  even
• 0:29
  when
• 0:29
  nobody
• 0:29
  asks
• 0:30
  you
• 0:30
  to.
• 0:31
  The
• 0:31
  one
• 0:31
  who
• 0:32
  gives
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  gives
• 0:33
  and
• 0:33
  gives,
• 0:34
  and
• 0:35
  then
• 0:35
  somehow
• 0:36
  finds
• 0:36
  a
• 0:37
  little
• 0:37
  more
• 0:37
  to
• 0:37
  give.
• 0:38
  And
• 0:39
  friend,
• 0:39
  they
• 0:40
  love
• 0:40
  her.
• 0:40
  They
• 0:41
  are
• 0:41
  counting
• 0:42
  on
• 0:42
  her.
• 0:42
  They've
• 0:43
  built
• 0:43
  their
• 0:43
  entire
• 0:44
  relationship
• 0:45
  with
• 0:45
  you
• 0:46
  around
• 0:46
  her,
• 0:47
  and
• 0:47
  that
• 0:47
  is
• 0:47
  exactly
• 0:48
  why
• 0:49
  she
• 0:49
  is
• 0:49
  the
• 0:49
  most
• 0:50
  dangerous
• 0:50
  version
• 0:51
  of
• 0:51
  you
• 0:52
  to
• 0:52
  keep
• 0:53
  being.
• 0:54
  Because
• 0:54
  here's
• 0:54
  what
• 0:54
  gets
• 0:55
  overlooked
• 0:56
  sometimes.
• 0:57
  The
• 0:57
  people
• 0:57
  who
• 0:57
  love
• 0:57
  you
• 0:58
  the
• 0:58
  most
• 0:59
  are
• 0:59
  loving
• 0:59
  a
• 0:59
  version
• 1:00
  of
• 1:00
  you
• 1:01
  that
• 1:01
  you
• 1:01
  have
• 1:01
  completely
• 1:02
  outgrown.
• 1:03
  And
• 1:03
  their
• 1:04
  love
• 1:04
  as
• 1:04
  real
• 1:05
  as
• 1:05
  it
• 1:05
  is,
• 1:06
  can
• 1:06
  become
• 1:07
  the
• 1:07
  very
• 1:07
  thing
• 1:08
  that
• 1:08
  keeps
• 1:08
  you
• 1:09
  from
• 1:09
  becoming
• 1:10
  who
• 1:10
  you're
• 1:10
  supposed
• 1:11
  to
• 1:11
  be.
• 1:12
  And
• 1:12
  friend,
• 1:13
  I
• 1:13
  need
• 1:13
  you
• 1:13
  to
• 1:13
  stay
• 1:13
  with
• 1:14
  me
• 1:14
  all
• 1:14
  the
• 1:14
  way
• 1:14
  through
• 1:15
  to
• 1:15
  the
• 1:15
  end
• 1:15
  because
• 1:15
  this
• 1:16
  one,
• 1:16
  it's
• 1:17
  gonna
• 1:17
  require
• 1:17
  some
• 1:18
  honesty
• 1:18
  that
• 1:19
  most
• 1:19
  people
• 1:20
  are
• 1:20
  not
• 1:21
  even
• 1:21
  ready
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  have.
• 1:21
  Okay?
• 1:22
  So
• 1:22
  let's
• 1:23
  get
• 1:23
  into
• 1:23
  it.
• 1:25
  Hey,
• 1:25
  friend,
• 1:26
  real
• 1:26
  quick,
• 1:26
  if
• 1:27
  you
• 1:27
  are
• 1:27
  not
• 1:27
  subscribed
• 1:28
  to
• 1:28
  the
• 1:28
  Confident
• 1:29
  and
• 1:29
  Empowered
• 1:29
  Women
• 1:29
  Podcast
• 1:30
  yet,
• 1:30
  what?
• 1:35
  We
• 1:36
  are
• 1:36
  here
• 1:36
  every
• 1:37
  single
• 1:37
  Tuesday
• 1:38
  and
• 1:38
  Thursday,
• 1:38
  and
• 1:38
  this
• 1:39
  is
• 1:39
  not
• 1:39
  just
• 1:40
  a
• 1:40
  podcast.
• 1:41
  This
• 1:41
  is
• 1:41
  a
• 1:41
  community
• 1:42
  of
• 1:42
  women
• 1:43
  who
• 1:43
  are
• 1:43
  done
• 1:44
  shrinking,
• 1:45
  settling,
• 1:45
  done,
• 1:46
  people
• 1:46
  pleasing,
• 1:47
  performing,
• 1:48
  and
• 1:48
  putting
• 1:48
  herself
• 1:49
  last.
• 1:50
  This
• 1:50
  is
• 1:50
  where
• 1:51
  we
• 1:51
  come
• 1:51
  to
• 1:51
  remember
• 1:52
  who
• 1:53
  we
• 1:53
  actually
• 1:54
  are
• 1:55
  and
• 1:55
  build
• 1:55
  a
• 1:55
  life
• 1:56
  that
• 1:56
  reflects
• 1:57
  her.
• 1:58
  We're
• 1:58
  becoming
• 1:59
  together,
• 2:00
  friend,
• 2:00
  and
• 2:00
  if
• 2:00
  you
• 2:01
  are
• 2:01
  not
• 2:01
  subscribed
• 2:02
  yet,
• 2:02
  today
• 2:03
  is
• 2:03
  the
• 2:04
  day.
• 2:06
  Hey,
• 2:06
  hey,
• 2:06
  hey,
• 2:07
  friend.
• 2:08
  Let
• 2:08
  me
• 2:08
  paint
• 2:08
  you
• 2:09
  a
• 2:09
  picture.
• 2:09
  You
• 2:10
  spent
• 2:10
  years,
• 2:11
  maybe
• 2:11
  even
• 2:11
  decades,
• 2:12
  being
• 2:13
  the
• 2:13
  strong
• 2:14
  one,
• 2:14
  the
• 2:14
  dependable
• 2:15
  one,
• 2:15
  the
• 2:16
  one
• 2:16
  who
• 2:16
  just
• 2:17
  handled
• 2:17
  it,
• 2:18
  the
• 2:18
  one
• 2:18
  who
• 2:19
  never
• 2:19
  needed
• 2:20
  anything,
• 2:21
  the
• 2:21
  one
• 2:21
  who
• 2:21
  showed
• 2:22
  up
• 2:22
  for
• 2:22
  everybody
• 2:23
  else's
• 2:23
  emergencies
• 2:24
  while
• 2:25
  quietly.
• 2:26
  Putting
• 2:26
  her
• 2:26
  own
• 2:27
  needs
• 2:27
  on
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  shelf
• 2:28
  labeled
• 2:29
  later,
• 2:30
  and
• 2:30
  people
• 2:30
  loved
• 2:31
  you
• 2:31
  for
• 2:31
  it.
• 2:31
  They
• 2:32
  praised
• 2:33
  you
• 2:33
  for
• 2:34
  it.
• 2:34
  They
• 2:34
  called
• 2:35
  you
• 2:35
  a
• 2:35
  rock.
• 2:36
  They
• 2:36
  called
• 2:37
  you
• 2:37
  selfless.
• 2:38
  They
• 2:38
  even
• 2:38
  called
• 2:39
  you
• 2:39
  an
• 2:39
  inspiration.
• 2:41
  And
• 2:42
  listen.
• 2:42
  It
• 2:42
  felt
• 2:43
  good
• 2:43
  to
• 2:44
  be
• 2:44
  loved
• 2:44
  like
• 2:45
  that,
• 2:45
  even
• 2:46
  when
• 2:46
  it
• 2:46
  was
• 2:46
  exhausting,
• 2:48
  even
• 2:48
  when
• 2:48
  you
• 2:48
  were
• 2:48
  running
• 2:49
  on
• 2:49
  fumes
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  smiling
• 2:51
  your
• 2:51
  way
• 2:51
  through
• 2:51
  it.
• 2:52
  Okay?
• 2:54
  And
• 2:54
  even
• 2:55
  when
• 2:55
  you
• 2:56
  lay
• 2:56
  awake
• 2:56
  at
• 2:56
  night
• 2:57
  wondering
• 2:58
  why
• 2:59
  you
• 2:59
  felt
• 2:59
  so
• 3:00
  alone
• 3:01
  in
• 3:01
  a
• 3:01
  life
• 3:01
  so
• 3:02
  full
• 3:02
  of
• 3:02
  people
• 3:03
  who
• 3:03
  needed
• 3:03
  you.
• 3:04
  Here's
• 3:05
  the
• 3:05
  thing
• 3:05
  about
• 3:06
  being
• 3:06
  the
• 3:07
  strong
• 3:07
  one.
• 3:08
  It's
• 3:08
  not
• 3:08
  just
• 3:08
  a
• 3:09
  behavior.
• 3:10
  It
• 3:10
  becomes
• 3:10
  a
• 3:11
  brand.
• 3:11
  People
• 3:12
  start
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  relate
• 3:13
  to
• 3:13
  you
• 3:13
  through
• 3:14
  it.
• 3:14
  They
• 3:14
  stop
• 3:15
  asking
• 3:15
  you
• 3:15
  if
• 3:16
  you're
• 3:16
  okay
• 3:17
  because
• 3:17
  you
• 3:18
  train
• 3:18
  them
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  assume
• 3:19
  you're
• 3:19
  always
• 3:20
  okay.
• 3:21
  They
• 3:21
  stop
• 3:22
  offering
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  help
• 3:23
  because
• 3:23
  you've
• 3:23
  trained
• 3:24
  them
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  believe
• 3:25
  you
• 3:25
  never
• 3:26
  need
• 3:26
  it.
• 3:27
  They
• 3:27
  stopped
• 3:27
  checking
• 3:28
  in
• 3:28
  on
• 3:29
  you
• 3:29
  because
• 3:29
  you
• 3:30
  have
• 3:30
  convinced
• 3:31
  them
• 3:31
  very
• 3:32
  convincingly.
• 3:32
  I
• 3:33
  might
• 3:33
  add
• 3:34
  that
• 3:35
  you
• 3:35
  are
• 3:36
  the
• 3:36
  checker,
• 3:37
  not
• 3:37
  the
• 3:38
  checkee,
• 3:41
  And
• 3:42
  now
• 3:42
  you
• 3:43
  wanna
• 3:43
  change,
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  wanna
• 3:44
  put
• 3:45
  some
• 3:45
  of
• 3:45
  it
• 3:45
  down.
• 3:46
  You
• 3:47
  wanna
• 3:47
  stop
• 3:47
  performing
• 3:48
  strength
• 3:49
  and
• 3:49
  start
• 3:50
  actually
• 3:51
  living.
• 3:52
  You
• 3:52
  wanna
• 3:52
  ask
• 3:53
  for
• 3:53
  help
• 3:53
  without
• 3:54
  your
• 3:54
  hands
• 3:55
  shaking?
• 3:55
  You
• 3:56
  wanna
• 3:56
  say
• 3:56
  no
• 3:57
  without
• 3:58
  a
• 3:58
  three
• 3:58
  paragraph
• 3:59
  explanation?
• 4:02
  You
• 4:02
  wanna
• 4:02
  be
• 4:02
  soft
• 4:03
  and
• 4:03
  ambitious
• 4:04
  and
• 4:04
  fully
• 4:05
  yourself
• 4:06
  all
• 4:06
  at
• 4:06
  the
• 4:06
  same
• 4:07
  time,
• 4:07
  and
• 4:07
  the
• 4:07
  people
• 4:08
  around
• 4:08
  you
• 4:09
  are
• 4:10
  confused.
• 4:11
  Maybe
• 4:11
  even
• 4:12
  a
• 4:12
  little
• 4:13
  unsettled
• 4:15
  because
• 4:16
  the
• 4:16
  woman
• 4:16
  they
• 4:17
  signed
• 4:17
  up
• 4:17
  for,
• 4:18
  she
• 4:18
  didn't
• 4:19
  do
• 4:19
  any
• 4:19
  of
• 4:19
  that.
• 4:20
  Okay.
• 4:21
  Listen.
• 4:21
  I
• 4:22
  remember
• 4:23
  when
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  started
• 4:23
  putting
• 4:24
  things
• 4:24
  down,
• 4:25
  when
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  stopped
• 4:26
  being
• 4:26
  the
• 4:26
  woman
• 4:26
  who
• 4:27
  did
• 4:27
  everything
• 4:28
  alone
• 4:29
  and
• 4:29
  started
• 4:29
  actually
• 4:30
  letting
• 4:30
  people
• 4:31
  in,
• 4:31
  and
• 4:31
  I
• 4:31
  noticed
• 4:32
  something.
• 4:33
  Some
• 4:33
  people
• 4:34
  celebrated
• 4:35
  it
• 4:35
  and
• 4:36
  some
• 4:36
  people
• 4:37
  got
• 4:37
  very
• 4:39
  quiet,
• 4:40
  not
• 4:40
  because
• 4:41
  they
• 4:41
  were
• 4:41
  bad
• 4:41
  people,
• 4:42
  but
• 4:43
  because
• 4:43
  my
• 4:43
  softness
• 4:45
  disrupted
• 4:46
  their
• 4:46
  system
• 4:47
  and
• 4:47
  the
• 4:47
  disruption
• 4:49
  was
• 4:49
  uncomfortable
• 4:50
  Because
• 4:51
  here
• 4:51
  is
• 4:52
  what
• 4:52
  uncomfortable
• 4:53
  is
• 4:53
  saying
• 4:54
  out
• 4:54
  loud.
• 4:55
  When
• 4:55
  you
• 4:55
  change,
• 4:56
  you
• 4:57
  are
• 4:57
  not
• 4:57
  just
• 4:57
  changing
• 4:58
  yourself.
• 4:59
  You
• 5:00
  are
• 5:00
  changing
• 5:01
  the
• 5:01
  dynamic.
• 5:02
  You
• 5:02
  are
• 5:03
  changing
• 5:03
  the
• 5:04
  roles.
• 5:05
  You
• 5:05
  are
• 5:06
  changing
• 5:06
  what
• 5:07
  people
• 5:07
  can
• 5:07
  expect
• 5:08
  from
• 5:09
  you,
• 5:09
  and
• 5:10
  that
• 5:10
  requires
• 5:11
  an
• 5:11
  adjustment.
• 5:13
  From
• 5:13
  everyone
• 5:14
  around
• 5:14
  you,
• 5:14
  whether
• 5:15
  they
• 5:15
  signed
• 5:16
  up
• 5:16
  for
• 5:16
  it
• 5:16
  or
• 5:17
  not.
• 5:18
  The
• 5:18
  question
• 5:19
  then
• 5:19
  becomes,
• 5:20
  are
• 5:20
  you
• 5:20
  going
• 5:21
  to
• 5:21
  keep
• 5:21
  performing
• 5:22
  the
• 5:22
  old
• 5:22
  version
• 5:23
  of
• 5:23
  you
• 5:24
  just
• 5:24
  to
• 5:24
  keep
• 5:25
  the
• 5:25
  peace
• 5:26
  or
• 5:27
  are
• 5:27
  you
• 5:27
  going
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  give
• 5:27
  yourself
• 5:28
  permission
• 5:29
  to
• 5:30
  become.
• 5:32
  and
• 5:32
  listen,
• 5:32
  we
• 5:33
  gotta
• 5:33
  talk
• 5:33
  about
• 5:34
  the
• 5:34
  guilt,
• 5:35
  okay?
• 5:36
  Because
• 5:36
  this
• 5:37
  is
• 5:37
  where
• 5:37
  most
• 5:38
  women
• 5:38
  get
• 5:38
  stuck
• 5:39
  and
• 5:39
  stay
• 5:40
  stuck.
• 5:41
  You
• 5:41
  feel
• 5:41
  it
• 5:42
  the
• 5:42
  moment
• 5:42
  you
• 5:43
  start
• 5:43
  to
• 5:43
  change,
• 5:44
  the
• 5:44
  moment
• 5:45
  you
• 5:45
  say
• 5:46
  no
• 5:46
  and
• 5:46
  mean
• 5:47
  it.
• 5:47
  The
• 5:47
  moment
• 5:48
  you
• 5:48
  stop
• 5:48
  over
• 5:49
  explaining
• 5:50
  yourself,
• 5:51
  the
• 5:51
  moment
• 5:51
  you
• 5:51
  choose
• 5:52
  yourself
• 5:53
  and
• 5:53
  the
• 5:53
  room
• 5:54
  gets
• 5:54
  a
• 5:54
  little
• 5:54
  cold.
• 5:55
  And
• 5:56
  your
• 5:56
  brain,
• 5:57
  your
• 5:57
  beautiful,
• 5:58
  loyal
• 5:59
  people
• 6:00
  pleasing
• 6:00
  brain
• 6:01
  immediately
• 6:02
  starts
• 6:02
  running
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  math.
• 6:05
  If
• 6:05
  I
• 6:06
  change,
• 6:06
  will
• 6:07
  they
• 6:07
  still
• 6:07
  love
• 6:07
  me?
• 6:08
  If
• 6:08
  I
• 6:08
  stop
• 6:09
  being
• 6:09
  who
• 6:09
  they
• 6:10
  need
• 6:10
  me
• 6:10
  to
• 6:10
  be,
• 6:11
  will
• 6:11
  they
• 6:12
  still
• 6:12
  need
• 6:13
  me
• 6:13
  at
• 6:13
  all?
• 6:14
  If
• 6:14
  I
• 6:15
  stop
• 6:15
  doing
• 6:16
  for
• 6:16
  them,
• 6:16
  will
• 6:17
  they
• 6:17
  disappear?
• 6:18
  If
• 6:18
  I
• 6:19
  grow
• 6:19
  past
• 6:20
  where
• 6:20
  they
• 6:20
  are,
• 6:21
  will
• 6:21
  I
• 6:21
  outgrow
• 6:22
  them
• 6:22
  completely?
• 6:24
  If
• 6:24
  I
• 6:24
  choose
• 6:24
  myself
• 6:25
  this
• 6:25
  time,
• 6:26
  what
• 6:26
  does
• 6:26
  that
• 6:27
  say
• 6:27
  about
• 6:28
  All
• 6:28
  the
• 6:28
  times
• 6:29
  I
• 6:29
  didn't,
• 6:30
  and
• 6:31
  friend,
• 6:31
  that
• 6:32
  math
• 6:33
  will
• 6:33
  never
• 6:33
  add
• 6:34
  up
• 6:34
  in
• 6:34
  your
• 6:34
  favor,
• 6:35
  okay?
• 6:35
  Because
• 6:36
  that
• 6:36
  math
• 6:37
  is
• 6:37
  not
• 6:37
  asking
• 6:38
  the
• 6:38
  right
• 6:38
  question.
• 6:39
  The
• 6:39
  right
• 6:40
  question
• 6:40
  is
• 6:41
  not,
• 6:41
  will
• 6:42
  they
• 6:42
  still
• 6:42
  love
• 6:42
  me
• 6:43
  if
• 6:43
  I
• 6:43
  change
• 6:44
  the
• 6:44
  right
• 6:45
  question
• 6:45
  is
• 6:46
  what
• 6:47
  kind
• 6:47
  of
• 6:47
  love
• 6:48
  requires
• 6:49
  you
• 6:50
  to
• 6:50
  stay
• 6:50
  small,
• 6:51
  to
• 6:51
  keep
• 6:51
  it?
• 6:52
  Ooh,
• 6:53
  friend.
• 6:54
  Listen.
• 6:55
  Think
• 6:55
  about
• 6:55
  it
• 6:55
  like
• 6:55
  this.
• 6:56
  Imagine
• 6:57
  you
• 6:58
  outgrow
• 6:58
  a
• 6:58
  pair
• 6:59
  of
• 6:59
  jeans.
• 7:00
  Okay?
• 7:00
  Now
• 7:00
  wait.
• 7:00
  Let's
• 7:01
  just
• 7:01
  pretend
• 7:02
  that
• 7:02
  I
• 7:02
  don't
• 7:03
  have
• 7:04
  every
• 7:04
  size
• 7:04
  of
• 7:04
  jeans
• 7:05
  still
• 7:05
  in
• 7:05
  my
• 7:06
  closet,
• 7:06
  just
• 7:07
  in
• 7:07
  case.
• 7:07
  Okay?
• 7:10
  Somebody
• 7:11
  cute
• 7:11
  Jaheem,
• 7:12
  because
• 7:12
  just
• 7:12
  in
• 7:12
  case,
• 7:13
  I
• 7:13
  need
• 7:13
  a
• 7:13
  pair
• 7:14
  of
• 7:14
  jeans.
• 7:16
  I
• 7:16
  need
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  know
• 7:17
  that
• 7:17
  I
• 7:17
  have
• 7:17
  them,
• 7:18
  should
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  ever
• 7:18
  need
• 7:19
  them.
• 7:19
  Okay,
• 7:23
  now
• 7:23
  that's
• 7:23
  another
• 7:24
  story
• 7:24
  for
• 7:24
  a
• 7:24
  whole
• 7:24
  nother
• 7:25
  day.
• 7:25
  Okay?
• 7:27
  But
• 7:27
  for
• 7:28
  the
• 7:28
  sake
• 7:28
  of
• 7:28
  this
• 7:29
  year
• 7:29
  conversation,
• 7:30
  let's
• 7:30
  just
• 7:31
  stick
• 7:31
  to
• 7:31
  one
• 7:32
  pair
• 7:32
  of
• 7:32
  jeans.
• 7:35
  So
• 7:35
  you've
• 7:35
  outgrown
• 7:36
  a
• 7:36
  pair
• 7:36
  of
• 7:36
  jeans.
• 7:37
  They
• 7:37
  literally
• 7:38
  no
• 7:39
  longer
• 7:39
  fit
• 7:39
  your
• 7:39
  body
• 7:40
  and
• 7:40
  let's
• 7:40
  just
• 7:41
  say
• 7:41
  somebody
• 7:42
  who
• 7:42
  loves
• 7:42
  you
• 7:43
  keeps
• 7:43
  putting
• 7:43
  those
• 7:44
  same
• 7:44
  jeans
• 7:45
  out
• 7:45
  for
• 7:45
  you
• 7:46
  every
• 7:46
  morning
• 7:47
  not
• 7:48
  to
• 7:48
  hurt
• 7:48
  you,
• 7:49
  just
• 7:49
  because
• 7:50
  those
• 7:50
  jeans
• 7:51
  are
• 7:51
  the
• 7:51
  ones
• 7:51
  that
• 7:52
  they
• 7:52
  knew.
• 7:53
  Those
• 7:53
  were
• 7:53
  the
• 7:54
  jeans
• 7:54
  you
• 7:55
  wore
• 7:55
  when
• 7:56
  you
• 7:56
  met
• 7:57
  them.
• 7:57
  Those
• 7:58
  were
• 7:58
  the
• 7:58
  jeans
• 7:58
  that
• 7:59
  meant
• 7:59
  something.
• 8:01
  But
• 8:01
  friend,
• 8:02
  those
• 8:02
  jeans
• 8:02
  don't
• 8:03
  fit
• 8:03
  anymore.
• 8:04
  And
• 8:04
  trying
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  squeeze
• 8:05
  yourself
• 8:06
  back
• 8:06
  into
• 8:06
  them
• 8:07
  every
• 8:07
  single
• 8:07
  day
• 8:08
  is
• 8:08
  not
• 8:09
  love,
• 8:09
  and
• 8:09
  it's
• 8:09
  not
• 8:10
  loyalty,
• 8:11
  okay?
• 8:13
  It
• 8:13
  is
• 8:13
  not
• 8:13
  honoring
• 8:14
  the
• 8:14
  relationship.
• 8:15
  It's
• 8:15
  just
• 8:16
  painful
• 8:17
  and
• 8:18
  unnecessary,
• 8:19
  and
• 8:20
  it's
• 8:20
  keeping
• 8:21
  you
• 8:21
  from
• 8:21
  finding
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  outfit
• 8:23
  that
• 8:24
  actually
• 8:24
  fits
• 8:25
  who
• 8:25
  you
• 8:25
  are
• 8:26
  now.
• 8:27
  But
• 8:27
  how
• 8:28
  many
• 8:28
  times
• 8:28
  do
• 8:28
  you
• 8:29
  low
• 8:29
  key
• 8:29
  torture
• 8:30
  yourself
• 8:33
  trying
• 8:33
  to
• 8:33
  get
• 8:33
  back
• 8:34
  into
• 8:34
  them
• 8:34
  jeans
• 8:37
  and
• 8:38
  listen,
• 8:38
  I
• 8:38
  get
• 8:39
  it.
• 8:39
  It's
• 8:39
  cool
• 8:40
  if
• 8:40
  that's
• 8:40
  motivation
• 8:41
  for
• 8:41
  you,
• 8:41
  okay?
• 8:42
  But
• 8:42
  it
• 8:42
  turns
• 8:43
  torturous
• 8:44
  when
• 8:44
  they
• 8:45
  start
• 8:45
  to
• 8:45
  make
• 8:45
  you
• 8:46
  feel
• 8:46
  bad
• 8:47
  about
• 8:47
  your
• 8:47
  body,
• 8:48
  then
• 8:49
  you
• 8:49
  start
• 8:50
  thinking
• 8:50
  your
• 8:50
  body
• 8:51
  is
• 8:51
  the
• 8:52
  problem,
• 8:53
  when
• 8:53
  really
• 8:54
  it's
• 8:54
  them.
• 8:55
  Dang
• 8:55
  on
• 8:55
  jeans.
• 8:55
  Okay,
• 8:56
  the
• 8:57
  betrayal.
• 9:00
  Real
• 9:01
  love
• 9:01
  expands
• 9:03
  to
• 9:03
  make
• 9:03
  room
• 9:04
  for
• 9:04
  who
• 9:05
  you
• 9:05
  are
• 9:06
  becoming.
• 9:07
  It
• 9:07
  does
• 9:07
  not
• 9:07
  require
• 9:08
  you
• 9:08
  to
• 9:09
  shrink
• 9:09
  back
• 9:10
  into
• 9:10
  who
• 9:11
  you
• 9:11
  were.
• 9:12
  And
• 9:12
  yes,
• 9:13
  this
• 9:13
  applies
• 9:14
  to
• 9:14
  genes
• 9:15
  and
• 9:15
  the
• 9:15
  people
• 9:16
  in
• 9:16
  your
• 9:16
  life
• 9:16
  too.
• 9:17
  And
• 9:17
  here
• 9:18
  is
• 9:18
  where
• 9:18
  the
• 9:18
  grace
• 9:19
  is
• 9:19
  in
• 9:19
  all
• 9:20
  of
• 9:20
  this.
• 9:21
  Some
• 9:21
  people
• 9:22
  in
• 9:22
  your
• 9:22
  life
• 9:23
  will
• 9:23
  surprise
• 9:24
  you.
• 9:24
  They
• 9:25
  will
• 9:25
  see
• 9:25
  you
• 9:25
  choosing
• 9:26
  yourself,
• 9:27
  and
• 9:27
  they
• 9:28
  will
• 9:28
  exhale
• 9:29
  because
• 9:29
  somewhere
• 9:30
  deep
• 9:31
  down,
• 9:31
  they
• 9:31
  have
• 9:31
  been
• 9:32
  waiting
• 9:32
  on
• 9:33
  you
• 9:33
  to
• 9:33
  stop
• 9:34
  carrying
• 9:35
  so
• 9:35
  much.
• 9:36
  They
• 9:36
  just
• 9:37
  didn't
• 9:37
  know
• 9:37
  how
• 9:37
  to
• 9:37
  tell
• 9:38
  you.
• 9:38
  Give
• 9:39
  them
• 9:39
  a
• 9:39
  chance
• 9:40
  to
• 9:40
  love
• 9:41
  the
• 9:41
  real
• 9:42
  you
• 9:42
  friend.
• 9:44
  You
• 9:44
  might
• 9:44
  be
• 9:44
  shocked
• 9:45
  at
• 9:45
  who
• 9:45
  shows
• 9:45
  up.
• 9:46
  And
• 9:46
  now
• 9:46
  this
• 9:47
  part
• 9:48
  as
• 9:48
  if
• 9:48
  the
• 9:48
  jeans
• 9:48
  wasn't
• 9:49
  enough
• 9:49
  friend,
• 9:49
  this
• 9:50
  might
• 9:50
  sting
• 9:50
  a
• 9:50
  little
• 9:50
  bit.
• 9:50
  Okay?
• 9:52
  And
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  say
• 9:53
  it
• 9:53
  with
• 9:54
  all
• 9:54
  the
• 9:54
  love
• 9:54
  in
• 9:54
  the
• 9:55
  world.
• 9:55
  That
• 9:57
  permission
• 9:57
  you've
• 9:57
  been
• 9:57
  waiting
• 9:58
  for.
• 9:59
  Permission
• 9:59
  from
• 10:00
  your
• 10:00
  family
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  change
• 10:01
  permission
• 10:02
  from
• 10:02
  your
• 10:02
  friends,
• 10:03
  to
• 10:03
  grow
• 10:04
  permission
• 10:04
  from
• 10:05
  your
• 10:05
  partner,
• 10:05
  to
• 10:06
  want
• 10:06
  more
• 10:07
  permission
• 10:08
  from
• 10:08
  the
• 10:08
  people
• 10:09
  who
• 10:09
  built
• 10:09
  their
• 10:09
  lives
• 10:11
  around
• 10:11
  the
• 10:12
  old
• 10:12
  version
• 10:13
  of
• 10:13
  you
• 10:13
  to
• 10:14
  say,
• 10:14
  go
• 10:15
  ahead,
• 10:15
  sure.
• 10:16
  Become
• 10:16
  someone
• 10:17
  new.
• 10:17
  We'll
• 10:17
  just
• 10:18
  adjust,
• 10:19
  friend.
• 10:20
  That
• 10:20
  permission
• 10:21
  it
• 10:21
  ain't
• 10:22
  coming.
• 10:24
  Listen,
• 10:25
  don't
• 10:25
  go
• 10:25
  spiraling,
• 10:26
  okay?
• 10:27
  It's
• 10:27
  not
• 10:27
  because
• 10:28
  they
• 10:28
  don't
• 10:29
  love
• 10:29
  you,
• 10:30
  it's
• 10:30
  just
• 10:31
  because
• 10:32
  permission
• 10:33
  is
• 10:33
  not
• 10:33
  theirs
• 10:33
  to
• 10:34
  give.
• 10:35
  The
• 10:35
  permission
• 10:35
  to
• 10:36
  change
• 10:37
  has
• 10:37
  always
• 10:38
  been
• 10:38
  yours.
• 10:39
  It
• 10:39
  has
• 10:40
  only
• 10:40
  ever
• 10:41
  been
• 10:41
  yours,
• 10:42
  and
• 10:43
  the
• 10:43
  longer
• 10:43
  you
• 10:44
  wait
• 10:44
  for
• 10:44
  someone
• 10:45
  else
• 10:45
  to
• 10:45
  hand
• 10:45
  it
• 10:46
  to
• 10:46
  you,
• 10:46
  the
• 10:47
  longer
• 10:47
  you
• 10:47
  give
• 10:48
  your
• 10:48
  power
• 10:48
  away,
• 10:49
  the
• 10:49
  longer
• 10:50
  you
• 10:50
  stay
• 10:51
  in
• 10:51
  jeans
• 10:51
  that
• 10:52
  just
• 10:52
  don't
• 10:52
  fit.
• 10:53
  The
• 10:53
  longer
• 10:54
  you
• 10:54
  stay
• 10:54
  performing
• 10:55
  a
• 10:55
  role
• 10:56
  in
• 10:56
  a
• 10:56
  show,
• 10:57
  you've
• 10:57
  already
• 10:57
  outgrown
• 10:59
  loving
• 10:59
  people.
• 11:00
  The
• 11:00
  only
• 11:00
  way
• 11:01
  they
• 11:01
  will
• 11:02
  allow
• 11:02
  themselves
• 11:03
  to
• 11:03
  be
• 11:03
  loved
• 11:04
  by
• 11:04
  you.
• 11:05
  The
• 11:05
  longer
• 11:06
  you
• 11:06
  keep
• 11:06
  pretending
• 11:07
  to
• 11:07
  be
• 11:08
  someone
• 11:09
  you
• 11:09
  no
• 11:09
  longer
• 11:10
  are.
• 11:11
  And
• 11:11
  this
• 11:11
  is
• 11:11
  the
• 11:11
  thing
• 11:12
  that
• 11:12
  shifted
• 11:13
  my
• 11:14
  life.
• 11:15
  There
• 11:15
  came
• 11:15
  a
• 11:16
  moment,
• 11:17
  and
• 11:17
  I
• 11:17
  bet
• 11:17
  you've
• 11:18
  even
• 11:18
  had
• 11:18
  a
• 11:19
  version
• 11:19
  of
• 11:19
  this
• 11:19
  moment
• 11:20
  too,
• 11:20
  where
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  realized
• 11:22
  nobody
• 11:23
  was
• 11:23
  gonna
• 11:23
  come
• 11:24
  and
• 11:24
  free
• 11:25
  me
• 11:25
  from
• 11:26
  the
• 11:26
  version
• 11:26
  of
• 11:26
  myself
• 11:27
  I
• 11:28
  had
• 11:28
  created.
• 11:29
  No
• 11:29
  one
• 11:30
  was
• 11:30
  gonna
• 11:30
  look
• 11:30
  at
• 11:30
  me
• 11:31
  and
• 11:31
  say,
• 11:31
  oh,
• 11:32
  Letitia,
• 11:32
  hey,
• 11:32
  yes,
• 11:33
  you
• 11:33
  could
• 11:33
  put
• 11:34
  that
• 11:34
  down.
• 11:34
  Now
• 11:35
  you're
• 11:35
  done.
• 11:35
  You're,
• 11:36
  you've
• 11:36
  done
• 11:36
  enough.
• 11:37
  You're
• 11:37
  allowed
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  change.
• 11:39
  No
• 11:39
  friend.
• 11:40
  Ain't
• 11:40
  nobody
• 11:40
  come
• 11:40
  tell
• 11:40
  me
• 11:41
  that.
• 11:45
  I
• 11:45
  had
• 11:45
  to
• 11:45
  say
• 11:45
  it
• 11:46
  to
• 11:46
  myself.
• 11:47
  I
• 11:47
  had
• 11:48
  to
• 11:48
  decide
• 11:49
  that
• 11:49
  my
• 11:49
  becoming
• 11:51
  was
• 11:51
  not
• 11:51
  up
• 11:52
  for
• 11:52
  a
• 11:52
  committee
• 11:53
  vote.
• 11:54
  I
• 11:54
  had
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  understand
• 11:56
  that
• 11:56
  choosing
• 11:56
  myself
• 11:57
  was
• 11:58
  not
• 11:58
  a
• 11:58
  betrayal
• 11:59
  of
• 11:59
  the
• 11:59
  people
• 12:00
  who
• 12:00
  loved
• 12:01
  the
• 12:01
  old
• 12:02
  me.
• 12:03
  It
• 12:03
  was
• 12:03
  an
• 12:03
  invitation
• 12:04
  for
• 12:04
  them
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  meet
• 12:05
  me
• 12:06
  as
• 12:06
  I
• 12:07
  am
• 12:07
  today.
• 12:08
  And
• 12:09
  some
• 12:09
  of
• 12:09
  them
• 12:09
  accepted
• 12:10
  that
• 12:10
  invitation.
• 12:12
  You
• 12:12
  get
• 12:12
  to
• 12:12
  see
• 12:13
  it
• 12:13
  in
• 12:13
  the
• 12:14
  most
• 12:14
  wonderful
• 12:15
  relationships.
• 12:16
  You
• 12:16
  know
• 12:16
  the
• 12:16
  ones
• 12:17
  where
• 12:17
  maybe
• 12:18
  you
• 12:18
  used
• 12:18
  to
• 12:18
  talk
• 12:19
  every
• 12:19
  day
• 12:19
  and
• 12:20
  now
• 12:20
  not
• 12:21
  so
• 12:21
  much
• 12:21
  anymore,
• 12:22
  but
• 12:23
  as
• 12:23
  soon
• 12:23
  as
• 12:23
  you
• 12:23
  do
• 12:24
  talk,
• 12:25
  it's
• 12:25
  as
• 12:25
  if
• 12:25
  no
• 12:25
  time
• 12:26
  passed
• 12:27
  and
• 12:27
  you
• 12:27
  just
• 12:27
  pick
• 12:28
  right
• 12:28
  back
• 12:28
  up
• 12:29
  where
• 12:29
  you
• 12:29
  left
• 12:30
  off.
• 12:30
  Same
• 12:31
  energy
• 12:32
  and
• 12:32
  same
• 12:32
  love,
• 12:33
  but
• 12:33
  there's
• 12:34
  this
• 12:34
  openness
• 12:35
  to
• 12:36
  your
• 12:36
  newness.
• 12:37
  You
• 12:37
  see
• 12:38
  it
• 12:38
  in
• 12:38
  the
• 12:38
  way
• 12:38
  that
• 12:39
  people
• 12:39
  are
• 12:39
  curious
• 12:40
  about
• 12:40
  what's
• 12:41
  new
• 12:41
  with
• 12:41
  you,
• 12:42
  new
• 12:42
  perspectives,
• 12:43
  dreams,
• 12:44
  even
• 12:44
  a
• 12:44
  new
• 12:45
  heart
• 12:45
  posture
• 12:46
  and
• 12:46
  while
• 12:47
  those
• 12:47
  are
• 12:47
  the
• 12:47
  ones
• 12:48
  who
• 12:48
  accepted
• 12:49
  the
• 12:49
  invitation,
• 12:50
  some
• 12:50
  of
• 12:51
  the
• 12:51
  other
• 12:51
  ones
• 12:52
  they
• 12:52
  didn't.
• 12:53
  And
• 12:53
  both
• 12:53
  of
• 12:53
  those
• 12:54
  outcomes
• 12:54
  were
• 12:55
  okay
• 12:56
  because
• 12:56
  I
• 12:56
  was
• 12:57
  finally
• 12:57
  living
• 12:58
  as
• 12:58
  myself,
• 13:00
  not
• 13:00
  as
• 13:00
  a
• 13:00
  performance
• 13:01
  of
• 13:01
  someone
• 13:02
  I
• 13:03
  thought
• 13:03
  I
• 13:03
  needed
• 13:04
  to
• 13:04
  keep
• 13:04
  being.
• 13:05
  And
• 13:05
  here's
• 13:06
  what
• 13:06
  I
• 13:06
  really
• 13:06
  want
• 13:06
  you
• 13:07
  to
• 13:07
  hear
• 13:07
  right
• 13:07
  now,
• 13:08
  wherever
• 13:08
  you're
• 13:08
  listening
• 13:09
  to
• 13:09
  this.
• 13:09
  If
• 13:10
  you're
• 13:10
  in
• 13:10
  the
• 13:10
  car,
• 13:11
  in
• 13:11
  the
• 13:11
  school
• 13:12
  pickup
• 13:12
  line,
• 13:13
  or
• 13:13
  you're
• 13:14
  on
• 13:14
  your
• 13:14
  walking
• 13:14
  pad
• 13:15
  at
• 13:15
  6:00
• 13:15
  AM
• 13:16
  before
• 13:16
  everybody
• 13:16
  wakes
• 13:17
  up,
• 13:18
  you
• 13:18
  do
• 13:18
  not
• 13:19
  need
• 13:19
  a
• 13:19
  permission
• 13:20
  slip.
• 13:21
  You
• 13:21
  are
• 13:21
  not
• 13:22
  waiting
• 13:22
  for
• 13:23
  a
• 13:23
  committee
• 13:23
  meeting.
• 13:24
  You
• 13:24
  don't
• 13:25
  need
• 13:25
  a
• 13:25
  consensus
• 13:26
  from
• 13:26
  the
• 13:27
  people
• 13:27
  who
• 13:27
  love
• 13:28
  the
• 13:28
  version
• 13:28
  of
• 13:28
  you.
• 13:29
  They
• 13:29
  have
• 13:29
  always
• 13:30
  known.
• 13:31
  You
• 13:31
  just
• 13:32
  need
• 13:33
  to
• 13:33
  decide.
• 13:34
  Decide
• 13:35
  you
• 13:35
  are
• 13:36
  allowed
• 13:37
  to
• 13:37
  grow
• 13:38
  and
• 13:38
  change.
• 13:39
  Decide
• 13:40
  that
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  people
• 13:41
  worth
• 13:41
  keeping
• 13:42
  in
• 13:42
  your
• 13:42
  life
• 13:43
  will
• 13:43
  always
• 13:44
  find
• 13:44
  a
• 13:45
  way
• 13:45
  to
• 13:46
  love
• 13:46
  who
• 13:46
  you're,
• 13:48
  because
• 13:48
  who
• 13:48
  you
• 13:48
  are
• 13:49
  becoming
• 13:49
  is
• 13:50
  magnificent.
• 13:51
  And
• 13:51
  the
• 13:52
  ones
• 13:52
  who
• 13:52
  can't
• 13:53
  friend,
• 13:54
  they
• 13:54
  were
• 13:55
  loving
• 13:55
  a
• 13:55
  costume.
• 13:56
  not
• 13:57
  a
• 13:57
  person.
• 14:01
  Okay,
• 14:01
  friend.
• 14:02
  When
• 14:02
  was
• 14:02
  the
• 14:02
  last
• 14:03
  time
• 14:03
  you
• 14:03
  sat
• 14:04
  down
• 14:04
  and
• 14:04
  asked
• 14:05
  yourself,
• 14:06
  what
• 14:06
  do
• 14:06
  I
• 14:07
  need?
• 14:07
  Not
• 14:08
  what
• 14:08
  everybody
• 14:08
  else
• 14:09
  needs,
• 14:10
  not
• 14:10
  what's
• 14:10
  on
• 14:10
  the
• 14:10
  to-do
• 14:11
  list.
• 14:11
  What
• 14:12
  you
• 14:13
  need,
• 14:13
  what
• 14:14
  you
• 14:14
  want,
• 14:15
  what
• 14:16
  you
• 14:16
  actually
• 14:17
  believe
• 14:18
  about
• 14:18
  yourself
• 14:18
  right
• 14:19
  now,
• 14:19
  because
• 14:20
  here's
• 14:20
  what
• 14:20
  I
• 14:21
  know,
• 14:21
  clarity
• 14:22
  does
• 14:22
  not
• 14:23
  come
• 14:23
  from
• 14:23
  thinking
• 14:24
  harder.
• 14:25
  Shout
• 14:26
  out
• 14:26
  to
• 14:26
  my
• 14:26
  overthinkers.
• 14:28
  It
• 14:29
  comes
• 14:29
  from
• 14:29
  asking
• 14:30
  better
• 14:30
  questions
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  the
• 14:32
  moments
• 14:32
  I
• 14:32
  felt
• 14:32
  stuck
• 14:33
  are
• 14:34
  really
• 14:34
  just
• 14:34
  the
• 14:35
  moments
• 14:35
  when
• 14:35
  I
• 14:36
  had
• 14:36
  been
• 14:36
  asking
• 14:36
  myself
• 14:37
  the
• 14:37
  wrong
• 14:37
  questions
• 14:38
  on
• 14:38
  repeat.
• 14:39
  And
• 14:39
  the
• 14:39
  main
• 14:40
  character
• 14:40
  Energy
• 14:41
  journal
• 14:41
  prompts
• 14:42
  create
• 14:43
  space.
• 14:44
  They
• 14:44
  help
• 14:44
  you
• 14:45
  get
• 14:45
  quiet
• 14:45
  enough
• 14:46
  to
• 14:46
  hear
• 14:46
  yourself
• 14:46
  clearly
• 14:48
  and.
• 14:48
  Ask
• 14:49
  the
• 14:49
  kind
• 14:49
  of
• 14:49
  questions
• 14:50
  that
• 14:50
  actually
• 14:51
  move
• 14:51
  you
• 14:52
  forward.
• 14:53
  Connecting
• 14:54
  back
• 14:54
  to
• 14:54
  yourself
• 14:55
  reminding
• 14:56
  who
• 14:56
  you
• 14:56
  actually
• 14:57
  are,
• 14:57
  not
• 14:58
  who
• 14:59
  you've
• 14:59
  been
• 14:59
  performing
• 15:00
  to
• 15:00
  be.
• 15:01
  Okay
• 15:01
  friend.
• 15:02
  The
• 15:02
  link
• 15:02
  is
• 15:02
  in
• 15:02
  the
• 15:03
  show
• 15:03
  notes,
• 15:03
  and
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  think
• 15:05
  you're
• 15:05
  ready.
• 15:07
  Okay
• 15:08
  friend,
• 15:08
  it's
• 15:09
  our
• 15:09
  time.
• 15:13
  That
• 15:13
  just
• 15:13
  gave
• 15:13
  me
• 15:13
  some,
• 15:14
  uh,
• 15:14
  Mariah
• 15:14
  Carey
• 15:15
  Christmas
• 15:15
  vibes
• 15:15
  right
• 15:16
  then.
• 15:18
  But
• 15:19
  it
• 15:19
  is
• 15:19
  time
• 15:20
  for
• 15:20
  our
• 15:20
  self
• 15:21
  Love
• 15:21
  two
• 15:22
  step.
• 15:22
  And
• 15:23
  this
• 15:23
  time
• 15:23
  we
• 15:24
  are
• 15:24
  doing
• 15:25
  the
• 15:25
  permission
• 15:26
  to
• 15:26
  change
• 15:27
  two
• 15:27
  step
• 15:28
  because
• 15:28
  you've
• 15:28
  been
• 15:28
  waiting
• 15:29
  for
• 15:29
  someone
• 15:29
  to
• 15:30
  tell
• 15:30
  you
• 15:30
  it's
• 15:30
  okay.
• 15:31
  So
• 15:32
  consider
• 15:32
  this
• 15:32
  your
• 15:32
  official
• 15:33
  notice.
• 15:35
  Step
• 15:35
  one,
• 15:36
  write
• 15:37
  your
• 15:37
  own
• 15:38
  permission
• 15:38
  slip.
• 15:39
  I
• 15:39
  want
• 15:39
  you
• 15:40
  to
• 15:40
  get
• 15:40
  out
• 15:41
  your
• 15:41
  journal
• 15:41
  and
• 15:42
  I
• 15:42
  want
• 15:42
  you
• 15:42
  to
• 15:42
  write
• 15:43
  yourself
• 15:43
  a
• 15:43
  permission
• 15:44
  slip.
• 15:44
  Yes.
• 15:45
  Just
• 15:46
  like
• 15:46
  the
• 15:46
  ones
• 15:47
  that
• 15:47
  you
• 15:47
  used
• 15:47
  to
• 15:47
  get
• 15:48
  signed
• 15:48
  in
• 15:48
  school,
• 15:49
  except
• 15:50
  this
• 15:50
  one
• 15:51
  does
• 15:51
  not
• 15:51
  need
• 15:52
  anyone
• 15:52
  else's
• 15:53
  signature.
• 15:54
  So
• 15:54
  right
• 15:54
  at
• 15:55
  the
• 15:55
  top,
• 15:56
  I
• 15:56
  give
• 15:56
  myself
• 15:57
  full
• 15:58
  permission
• 15:59
  to.
• 16:00
  And
• 16:00
  then
• 16:01
  feel
• 16:01
  in
• 16:02
  everything
• 16:03
  you
• 16:03
  have
• 16:03
  been
• 16:03
  waiting
• 16:04
  for
• 16:04
  somebody
• 16:05
  else
• 16:05
  to
• 16:05
  authorize.
• 16:07
  Permission
• 16:07
  to
• 16:08
  change.
• 16:09
  Permission
• 16:09
  to
• 16:10
  outgrow
• 16:11
  permission,
• 16:11
  to
• 16:12
  want
• 16:12
  more,
• 16:13
  to
• 16:13
  say
• 16:14
  no
• 16:14
  to.
• 16:15
  Permission
• 16:16
  to
• 16:16
  be
• 16:17
  soft
• 16:18
  to
• 16:18
  take
• 16:18
  up
• 16:19
  space.
• 16:20
  Permission
• 16:21
  to
• 16:21
  become.
• 16:22
  Write
• 16:22
  it
• 16:22
  all
• 16:23
  down,
• 16:23
  sign
• 16:24
  it,
• 16:24
  date
• 16:25
  it,
• 16:25
  and
• 16:25
  then
• 16:25
  friend,
• 16:26
  I
• 16:26
  need
• 16:27
  you
• 16:27
  to
• 16:27
  act
• 16:27
  like
• 16:28
  it
• 16:28
  is
• 16:28
  legally
• 16:29
  binding.
• 16:29
  Okay?
• 16:30
  Because
• 16:31
  it
• 16:31
  is
• 16:32
  a
• 16:32
  soul
• 16:33
  declaration.
• 16:34
  And
• 16:35
  I
• 16:35
  even
• 16:35
  drafted
• 16:36
  up
• 16:36
  a
• 16:36
  cute
• 16:37
  one
• 16:37
  for
• 16:37
  you.
• 16:37
  So
• 16:38
  if
• 16:38
  you
• 16:38
  want
• 16:39
  to
• 16:39
  just
• 16:39
  download
• 16:40
  mine
• 16:40
  and
• 16:40
  fill
• 16:40
  it
• 16:41
  in,
• 16:41
  friend,
• 16:42
  the
• 16:42
  link
• 16:42
  is
• 16:42
  in
• 16:42
  the
• 16:42
  show
• 16:42
  notes.
• 16:43
  Okay?
• 16:43
  And
• 16:44
  step
• 16:44
  two,
• 16:45
  have
• 16:45
  the
• 16:46
  honest
• 16:46
  conversation
• 16:47
  with
• 16:47
  yourself.
• 16:48
  I
• 16:48
  want
• 16:49
  you
• 16:49
  to
• 16:49
  ask
• 16:49
  yourself
• 16:50
  this
• 16:50
  one
• 16:50
  question,
• 16:51
  and
• 16:52
  I
• 16:52
  want
• 16:52
  you
• 16:52
  to
• 16:52
  write
• 16:53
  it
• 16:53
  without
• 16:53
  softening
• 16:54
  it,
• 16:54
  without
• 16:55
  qualifying
• 16:56
  it,
• 16:56
  without
• 16:57
  making
• 16:57
  it
• 16:57
  easier
• 16:58
  to
• 16:58
  swallow.
• 16:59
  The
• 17:00
  question
• 17:00
  is.
• 17:01
  Who
• 17:02
  in
• 17:02
  my
• 17:02
  life
• 17:03
  am
• 17:03
  I
• 17:04
  still
• 17:05
  performing
• 17:05
  for?
• 17:06
  Not
• 17:07
  who
• 17:07
  do
• 17:07
  I
• 17:07
  love,
• 17:08
  not
• 17:08
  who
• 17:09
  do
• 17:09
  I
• 17:09
  wanna
• 17:09
  keep,
• 17:10
  but
• 17:10
  who
• 17:11
  am
• 17:11
  I
• 17:11
  still
• 17:12
  shrinking
• 17:13
  for?
• 17:14
  Who
• 17:15
  am
• 17:15
  I
• 17:15
  still
• 17:16
  being
• 17:16
  the
• 17:16
  old
• 17:17
  version
• 17:17
  for?
• 17:19
  Who
• 17:19
  gets
• 17:19
  the
• 17:19
  costume
• 17:20
  instead
• 17:21
  of
• 17:21
  the
• 17:21
  real
• 17:22
  me.
• 17:23
  You
• 17:23
  do
• 17:23
  not
• 17:23
  have
• 17:24
  to
• 17:24
  do
• 17:24
  anything
• 17:25
  with
• 17:25
  that
• 17:25
  answer
• 17:26
  today,
• 17:26
  friend.
• 17:27
  You
• 17:27
  do
• 17:27
  not
• 17:28
  have
• 17:28
  to
• 17:28
  have
• 17:29
  a
• 17:29
  hard
• 17:29
  conversation
• 17:30
  or
• 17:31
  make
• 17:31
  any
• 17:32
  big
• 17:32
  major
• 17:33
  moves.
• 17:34
  I
• 17:34
  just
• 17:34
  invite
• 17:35
  you
• 17:36
  to
• 17:36
  be
• 17:36
  honest
• 17:37
  because
• 17:38
  you
• 17:38
  cannot
• 17:38
  change
• 17:39
  what
• 17:39
  you
• 17:40
  are
• 17:40
  not
• 17:40
  willing
• 17:41
  to
• 17:41
  see.
• 17:42
  And
• 17:42
  then
• 17:42
  step
• 17:42
  three
• 17:43
  is
• 17:43
  the
• 17:43
  you
• 17:44
  step.
• 17:45
  You
• 17:45
  get
• 17:45
  still,
• 17:46
  you
• 17:46
  get
• 17:46
  quiet
• 17:47
  and
• 17:47
  you
• 17:47
  ask
• 17:48
  yourself,
• 17:49
  what
• 17:49
  is
• 17:49
  my
• 17:50
  heart
• 17:50
  telling
• 17:51
  me
• 17:52
  to
• 17:52
  do
• 17:52
  next?
• 17:53
  Whatever
• 17:53
  comes
• 17:54
  up,
• 17:55
  that's
• 17:55
  your
• 17:55
  next
• 17:55
  right
• 17:56
  aligned
• 17:57
  step.
• 17:57
  Not
• 17:58
  the
• 17:58
  whole
• 17:58
  plan,
• 17:59
  just
• 17:59
  the
• 17:59
  next
• 18:00
  move
• 18:01
  and
• 18:01
  trust
• 18:01
  her
• 18:02
  friend.
• 18:02
  She
• 18:03
  already
• 18:04
  knows.
• 18:05
  Now
• 18:05
  lemme
• 18:06
  pour
• 18:06
  into
• 18:06
  you
• 18:07
  real
• 18:07
  quick.
• 18:07
  I'm
• 18:08
  speaking
• 18:08
  to
• 18:08
  the
• 18:08
  heart
• 18:09
  of
• 18:09
  the
• 18:09
  woman
• 18:10
  who
• 18:11
  just
• 18:11
  felt
• 18:11
  something
• 18:11
  shift
• 18:12
  as
• 18:13
  soon
• 18:13
  as
• 18:13
  I
• 18:13
  said
• 18:14
  they
• 18:14
  were
• 18:14
  loving
• 18:15
  a
• 18:15
  costume,
• 18:16
  not
• 18:16
  a
• 18:16
  person.
• 18:17
  Because
• 18:18
  if
• 18:18
  that
• 18:18
  landed,
• 18:19
  if
• 18:19
  it
• 18:19
  hit
• 18:20
  somewhere
• 18:21
  deep,
• 18:22
  it
• 18:22
  means
• 18:23
  you
• 18:23
  already
• 18:23
  know.
• 18:24
  You
• 18:24
  already
• 18:25
  know
• 18:25
  that
• 18:25
  some
• 18:26
  of
• 18:26
  the
• 18:26
  relationships
• 18:27
  in
• 18:27
  your
• 18:27
  life
• 18:28
  are
• 18:28
  built
• 18:29
  around
• 18:29
  a
• 18:29
  version
• 18:30
  of
• 18:30
  you
• 18:31
  that
• 18:31
  is
• 18:32
  exhausted
• 18:33
  from
• 18:33
  performing.
• 18:34
  She's
• 18:35
  tired
• 18:35
  of
• 18:35
  being
• 18:35
  on
• 18:36
  call,
• 18:36
  okay?
• 18:37
  Offering
• 18:38
  to
• 18:38
  help
• 18:38
  everybody
• 18:39
  even
• 18:40
  when
• 18:40
  you're
• 18:40
  burnt
• 18:41
  out,
• 18:41
  tired
• 18:42
  of
• 18:42
  being
• 18:42
  one
• 18:43
  of
• 18:43
  the
• 18:43
  many
• 18:44
  options
• 18:45
  instead
• 18:46
  of
• 18:46
  being
• 18:47
  the
• 18:47
  one.
• 18:48
  You
• 18:48
  already
• 18:49
  know
• 18:49
  that
• 18:50
  some
• 18:50
  of
• 18:51
  the
• 18:51
  love
• 18:51
  you
• 18:51
  receive
• 18:52
  has
• 18:53
  conditions
• 18:54
  attached
• 18:55
  that
• 18:55
  you
• 18:55
  never
• 18:56
  agree
• 18:56
  to
• 18:56
  out
• 18:57
  loud.
• 18:57
  You
• 18:57
  already
• 18:58
  know
• 18:58
  that
• 18:58
  you
• 18:58
  have
• 18:59
  been
• 18:59
  making
• 18:59
  yourself
• 19:00
  smaller.
• 19:01
  Quieter,
• 19:02
  easier,
• 19:02
  more
• 19:02
  manageable,
• 19:04
  silencing
• 19:04
  your
• 19:05
  true
• 19:05
  needs
• 19:06
  and
• 19:06
  wants
• 19:07
  just
• 19:08
  so
• 19:08
  you
• 19:08
  can
• 19:08
  have
• 19:08
  somebody
• 19:09
  around.
• 19:10
  Not
• 19:10
  because
• 19:11
  that's
• 19:11
  who
• 19:11
  you
• 19:12
  are,
• 19:13
  but
• 19:13
  because
• 19:14
  that
• 19:14
  is
• 19:14
  who
• 19:15
  you
• 19:15
  needed
• 19:15
  to
• 19:16
  be.
• 19:17
  And
• 19:17
  friend,
• 19:17
  that
• 19:18
  is
• 19:18
  not
• 19:18
  your
• 19:18
  fault.
• 19:19
  You
• 19:19
  did
• 19:19
  what
• 19:20
  you
• 19:20
  had
• 19:20
  to
• 19:20
  do
• 19:21
  to
• 19:21
  be
• 19:21
  loved
• 19:22
  in
• 19:22
  a
• 19:22
  way
• 19:22
  that
• 19:22
  you
• 19:22
  knew
• 19:23
  how
• 19:23
  to
• 19:23
  receive
• 19:23
  it.
• 19:24
  You
• 19:24
  made
• 19:24
  a
• 19:24
  choice
• 19:25
  to
• 19:25
  have
• 19:25
  something
• 19:26
  rather
• 19:27
  than
• 19:27
  nothing.
• 19:28
  You
• 19:28
  may
• 19:28
  have
• 19:28
  loved
• 19:29
  them
• 19:29
  more
• 19:30
  than
• 19:30
  you
• 19:30
  loved
• 19:30
  yourself
• 19:31
  without
• 19:32
  even
• 19:32
  realizing
• 19:33
  that
• 19:33
  that
• 19:34
  was
• 19:34
  the
• 19:34
  price
• 19:35
  you
• 19:35
  paid
• 19:36
  to
• 19:36
  have
• 19:36
  something
• 19:37
  even
• 19:37
  remotely
• 19:38
  close
• 19:39
  to
• 19:39
  love,
• 19:39
  and
• 19:40
  perhaps
• 19:41
  that
• 19:41
  was
• 19:41
  enough
• 19:41
  for
• 19:42
  that
• 19:42
  season.
• 19:43
  But
• 19:43
  friend.
• 19:44
  This
• 19:44
  is
• 19:45
  a
• 19:45
  new
• 19:45
  season,
• 19:46
  okay?
• 19:47
  And
• 19:47
  in
• 19:47
  this
• 19:48
  season,
• 19:48
  you
• 19:49
  are
• 19:49
  allowed
• 19:50
  to
• 19:50
  take
• 19:50
  up
• 19:51
  space,
• 19:51
  to
• 19:52
  have
• 19:52
  needs
• 19:53
  to
• 19:53
  outgrow
• 19:54
  what
• 19:54
  no
• 19:54
  longer
• 19:54
  fits,
• 19:55
  including
• 19:56
  the
• 19:56
  version
• 19:56
  of
• 19:56
  yourself
• 19:57
  that
• 19:58
  was
• 19:58
  so
• 19:58
  busy
• 19:59
  being
• 19:59
  everything
• 20:00
  to
• 20:00
  everybody
• 20:01
  that
• 20:02
  she
• 20:02
  forgot
• 20:03
  to
• 20:03
  be
• 20:03
  something
• 20:04
  to
• 20:05
  herself.
• 20:06
  You
• 20:06
  are
• 20:06
  not
• 20:07
  too
• 20:07
  much
• 20:08
  or
• 20:08
  selfish.
• 20:09
  You're
• 20:09
  not
• 20:10
  betraying
• 20:10
  anyone.
• 20:12
  By
• 20:12
  becoming,
• 20:13
  you've
• 20:13
  just
• 20:14
  decided
• 20:14
  you
• 20:15
  will
• 20:15
  no
• 20:15
  longer
• 20:15
  abandon
• 20:16
  yourself
• 20:17
  just
• 20:18
  so
• 20:18
  you're
• 20:18
  no
• 20:19
  longer
• 20:19
  alone
• 20:20
  because
• 20:20
  you'd
• 20:20
  rather
• 20:21
  have
• 20:21
  yourself
• 20:22
  and
• 20:23
  your
• 20:23
  peace
• 20:24
  more
• 20:24
  than
• 20:25
  someone
• 20:25
  showing
• 20:26
  up
• 20:27
  just
• 20:27
  for
• 20:27
  what
• 20:28
  they
• 20:28
  can
• 20:28
  get
• 20:29
  from
• 20:29
  you.
• 20:30
  You
• 20:30
  are
• 20:30
  just
• 20:30
  finally,
• 20:31
  finally
• 20:33
  giving
• 20:33
  yourself
• 20:34
  the
• 20:34
  same
• 20:35
  permission
• 20:36
  you
• 20:36
  have
• 20:36
  given
• 20:37
  everyone
• 20:37
  else
• 20:38
  in
• 20:38
  your
• 20:38
  life
• 20:39
  a
• 20:39
  thousand
• 20:39
  times
• 20:40
  over
• 20:41
  because
• 20:41
  now
• 20:42
  it's
• 20:42
  your
• 20:43
  turn
• 20:44
  and
• 20:44
  it's
• 20:45
  long
• 20:45
  overdue.
• 20:46
  Listen
• 20:46
  friend.
• 20:47
  I
• 20:48
  am
• 20:48
  so
• 20:48
  proud
• 20:48
  of
• 20:48
  you
• 20:49
  for
• 20:49
  not
• 20:50
  allowing
• 20:50
  who
• 20:51
  you
• 20:51
  were
• 20:52
  to
• 20:52
  hold
• 20:52
  you
• 20:52
  back
• 20:53
  from
• 20:53
  receiving
• 20:54
  all
• 20:55
  the
• 20:55
  love
• 20:55
  you
• 20:55
  deserve,
• 20:56
  including
• 20:57
  your
• 20:58
  own
• 20:58
  self
• 20:58
  love.
• 21:01
  Ooh,
• 21:03
  friend.
• 21:03
  This
• 21:03
  was
• 21:04
  fun.
• 21:04
  Fire.
• 21:08
  Let's
• 21:08
  go
• 21:08
  ahead
• 21:09
  and
• 21:09
  continue
• 21:10
  this
• 21:10
  conversation
• 21:11
  over
• 21:11
  on
• 21:11
  YouTube
• 21:13
  where
• 21:13
  I
• 21:13
  am
• 21:13
  posting
• 21:14
  videos
• 21:14
  every
• 21:15
  day,
• 21:15
  because
• 21:15
  this
• 21:16
  topic
• 21:16
  right
• 21:16
  here
• 21:17
  definitely
• 21:18
  deserves
• 21:18
  some
• 21:19
  more
• 21:19
  airtime.
• 21:19
  So
• 21:20
  join
• 21:20
  me
• 21:20
  there,
• 21:21
  friend.
• 21:21
  I
• 21:22
  am
• 21:22
  so
• 21:23
  proud
• 21:23
  of
• 21:23
  you.
• 21:24
  You
• 21:25
  could
• 21:25
  have
• 21:25
  done
• 21:26
  anything,
• 21:27
  and
• 21:27
  yet
• 21:27
  you
• 21:27
  chose
• 21:28
  to
• 21:28
  spend
• 21:28
  this
• 21:28
  time
• 21:29
  with
• 21:29
  me
• 21:29
  and
• 21:29
  I'm
• 21:30
  forever
• 21:31
  grateful,
• 21:31
  and
• 21:32
  I'm
• 21:32
  just
• 21:32
  so
• 21:33
  proud
• 21:34
  that
• 21:34
  you
• 21:34
  chose
• 21:35
  to
• 21:35
  invest
• 21:35
  in
• 21:36
  you
• 21:36
  today
• 21:37
  to
• 21:37
  put
• 21:37
  something
• 21:38
  positive
• 21:38
  in
• 21:39
  your
• 21:39
  ears
• 21:40
  and
• 21:40
  light
• 21:40
  up
• 21:41
  your
• 21:41
  heart.
• 21:42
  Go
• 21:42
  ahead
• 21:43
  and
• 21:43
  take
• 21:43
  this
• 21:43
  energy
• 21:44
  out
• 21:44
  into
• 21:44
  the
• 21:44
  world
• 21:46
  and
• 21:46
  let's
• 21:47
  light
• 21:47
  it
• 21:47
  up.
• 21:47
  Okay.
• 21:50
  Remember,
• 21:50
  you
• 21:51
  are
• 21:51
  not
• 21:51
  an
• 21:52
  extra
• 21:52
  in
• 21:53
  somebody
• 21:53
  else's
• 21:53
  story.
• 21:54
  You
• 21:54
  are
• 21:55
  the
• 21:55
  main
• 21:55
  character
• 21:56
  of
• 21:56
  your
• 21:56
  very
• 21:57
  own.
• 21:57
  So
• 21:58
  go
• 21:58
  be
• 21:59
  her,
• 22:00
  the
• 22:00
  one
• 22:00
  you've
• 22:01
  been
• 22:01
  becoming.
• 22:02
  She
• 22:02
  has
• 22:02
  been
• 22:02
  waiting
• 22:03
  on
• 22:03
  you
• 22:04
  to
• 22:04
  live
• 22:04
  out
• 22:04
  loud.
• 22:05
  I'm
• 22:05
  cheering
• 22:06
  for
• 22:06
  you
• 22:06
  loud
• 22:07
  and
• 22:07
  obnoxiously
• 22:08
  always,
• 22:09
  and
• 22:10
  no
• 22:10
  matter
• 22:10
  what
• 22:11
  comes
• 22:11
  your
• 22:11
  way.
• 22:12
  Together,
• 22:12
  we
• 22:12
  can
• 22:13
  encourage
• 22:14
  over
• 22:14
  everything
• 22:16
  and
• 22:16
  I'll
• 22:16
  see
• 22:16
  you
• 22:17
  in
• 22:17
  the
• 22:17
  next
• 22:18
  episode.