Latest / Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40 / 24. Your WHY is More Powerful Than Your Willpower

Transcript

24. Your WHY is More Powerful Than Your Willpower · Midlife Glow Up: Simplifying Fitness, Nutrition and Healthy Habits for Women over 40

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: There are days when I don't feel like showing up.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to fitness and nutrition, those habits are so ingrained in me at this point that I don't struggle with motivation there.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Movement, fueling my body well, it's just who I am.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's something I have been practicing for the majority of my life.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It is part of my identity.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: But inside of my business, in social media and then this podcast, showing up consistently and sharing my message, even when I don't feel like it, it is hard.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I do not feel motivated.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a struggle.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I have committed to posting on social media five times a week.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And there are days when the last thing I want to do is create content.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I have committed to posting a podcast episode weekly, no matter what.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And there are definitely days when I would just rather be quiet and stay behind the scenes.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: But here is what keeps me going.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Here is why I show up.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is because I have a deep connection to my why, my WHY.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: I feel as though I am called to do this work.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't make the impact that I'm here to make if I stay quiet.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't reach that woman who needs to hear this message if I don't show up and share it.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that why is more important than my feelings of wanting to stay comfortable.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: So that is exactly what today's episode is about, because what I use to show up for my business is the same thing that I want to give you as it relates to your health.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it really has nothing to do with motivation.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to talk about motivation and willpower and discipline and something even more powerful than all three of those.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Something that changes everything, especially at this age and stage that we're in over 40.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: This episode today, I hope, is going to help you really reframe how you think about showing up for yourself for good.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Midlife Glow Up Podcast, where we simplify fitness, nutrition, and healthy habits for women over 40.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Joan Dandano, your midlife health and wellness coach.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are ready to feel strong, consistent, and confident in this season of life, you're in the right place, my friend.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's dive right in.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So first I want to start with the word motivation.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you break that word down, it is motive plus action.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And a motive is a reason.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: So motivation at its core is simply having a reason to act.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing about reasons.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: They are incredibly powerful when they first arrive.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like you feel an emotion.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're fired up.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're inspired.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a doctor's appointment and the numbers in your labs really shook you.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you saw a photo that you didn't even recognize yourself.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your daughter just got engaged and immediately you thought, I want to feel and look amazing in my Mother of the Bride gown.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Those are sparks.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Those are feelings.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And even powerful feelings are temporary by design.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: That is just how our bodies work.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's how our brains work.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's biology.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: The initial surge fades and life gets complicated and the wedding is still a year away, and the doctor's concerns fade away from your memory, and the photo gets buried in your camera roll.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if your only strategy for showing up is to wait to feel motivated, you are going to spend a lot of time waiting.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the most common things that I hear from the women I coach.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know what to do.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't seem to make myself do it consistently.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what they're really saying is, I can't seem to summon that feeling of motivation consistently.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But in and of itself, that is impossible.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So there's nothing wrong with you.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just motivation was never designed to be a long-term strategy.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So if motivation is a feeling that comes and goes, what should we replace it with?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: We want to start doing something that's more durable, something that's going to last.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about what is your why?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: What is the motive?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: What is the reason underneath wanting to change, to improve, to grow?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Not the surface answer, not the I want to lose weight or I want to fit back into my genes or I want more energy, but go deeper.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: What do those things mean?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why does this matter?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: What does your life look like when you have what it is that you want?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you achieve the change, the lasting change, what does that mean to you?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you some examples because I really want this to sink in.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe your why is that you want to keep up with your grandkids, not just watch them from the sideline, but actually get down on the floor and play with them and chase them around the yard and be present in a way that your body actually allows you to.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your mom got injured around age 65, and you watched how her lack of strength and how her osteoporosis actually made her recovery so much harder.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you decided in that moment, that is not going to be me.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am building the body that I need to be strong at 70 today.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have been saying no to things that you actually want to do.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: No to the beach trip because you don't want to be in a swimsuit, or no to the hiking excursion because you're not sure how your body can handle it.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: No to the spontaneous fun because you're always too tired, and you're just done saying no to your own life.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have watched stress and burnout take over, and you know that how you treat your body directly affects how you present who you are as a mom, a partner, a friend, an employee.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to show up in those relationships from a full cup, not an empty cup.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's simply that you want to feel like yourself again.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: You want to feel strong, energized, confident.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: You want to get dressed in the morning and feel good.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Check yourself out in the mirror as you walk out the door and be like, all right.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: You want to walk into a room and feel like you belong there.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you know the version of you that takes care of herself shows up differently.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: These are all really powerful examples of a why.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to share mine with you.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I want to, you know, circle back to my business.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I so I'm talking about a different scenario here, but it's still very applicable.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: The business that I have feels like a calling to me.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I feel a genuine spiritual connection to this work.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: It is not a job, it's a purpose.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that there are women out there who need to hear the message that I have to share.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: There are women that I haven't met yet, women I may not ever meet in person, but I believe that my services could genuinely change their life.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that is my deep why.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And when I know my why, I can also describe my ideal self as a business owner when I show up.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the way that I want to show up is reliable and professional, empathetic and vulnerable, inspirational and approachable and organized.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that picture, that version of me is what dictates how I show up.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I may not feel like recording a podcast episode on a given day, but I am the kind of business owner who follows through on what she said she was going to do.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I do it anyway, not because I'm motivated, but because I know who I am.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that because of my commitment, I will find the women who are looking for me.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I really encourage you to get super clear on your why.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Connect with it, write it down.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you connect with your deep why, like truly connect with it, it becomes your North Star.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't disappear when life gets busy.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't fade away when you're tired, it keeps calling you forward even when the motivation has completely left.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And once you find your why, then you can start asking different questions.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: What does the woman who has this life actually look like?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: How does she spend her time?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: What choices does she make?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not because she feels like it, but because they're aligned with who she is and where she's going.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: The truth is, once you find your why and you align your habits and your daily actions with that future version of yourself, you start living from her, not just working towards her, but you start living the way that she lives.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how you create her.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of crazy.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of deep.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: But it is so true.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like I did not know the first thing about podcasting when I started this, but I had a really deep why.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I drew from what I know about myself, which is I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna figure it out.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be trial and error, and I'm gonna fail sometimes, but it'll be worth it in the end because I know that it matters.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so we're gonna switch gears now and talk more about willpower for a second.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because willpower often gets lumped in with motivation.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptation in favor of your long-term goals.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the research is pretty clear about willpower.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is a finite resource, it depletes throughout the day.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: So every decision that you make, what to wear, what to eat, what email to answer first, all of that draws from that pool.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: So by the time you're standing in the kitchen at 6 p.m., exhausted from a full day of work and family and life, your willpower tank is running on fumes.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: That is just human physiology.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: It is not a personal weakness.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something that you are doing wrong.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Willpower, just like motivation, was never designed to carry your entire health journey.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Motivation and willpower are great for sparks, but they are terrible for sustainability.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the question then becomes: what is designed for sustainability?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people will tell you it's discipline.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And while I don't believe that is the wrong answer, I do want to kind of push back on the idea of discipline alone as the answer.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because discipline itself is still an act of willpower.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: It still requires you to make a conscious choice every single time.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that gets exhausting.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: So what actually creates sustainability is when discipline becomes so practiced and so connected to who you are that it is, it just turns into a habit.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's a system.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: It actually is your identity.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: So you stop deciding and you start just doing.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the difference between someone who is disciplined and someone who has built a life that makes the healthy choice the default choice.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about discipline, but not as the solution, but as a bridge to the destination.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Here is one of my favorite ways to think about discipline.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: So discipline is basically trading what you want now for what you want later.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about being rigid or joyless or living like a monk.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is just about being honest with yourself about what you actually want most.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So right now, in this moment, you might want to skip the workout.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: You might want the extra glass of wine.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: You might want to sleep in instead of getting your workout in.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And those wants are normal, part of everyday life, but there's another want, there's a deeper one, which is the woman that you're becoming, the energy, the life that you're building, the strength that you want to have in your 50s, your 60s, your 70s.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's also the example that you're setting for the younger generation.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's also the way you want to feel in your body.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Discipline asks you to weigh those two wants against each other and consciously choose the one that serves your future self.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not out of punishment or guilt, but out of commitment to the woman that you're becoming.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: So showing up for your workouts, moving your body, prepping some food, those are not acts of punishment.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: These are actually acts of self-love and self-care.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And every choice that aligns with that higher version of you brings you closer to the body and the life that you want.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the reframe that I want you to carry.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Not I have to do this, but I get to do this because I love her, the woman that I'm becoming.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And this matters so much for us in this second half of our lives.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because we can stop beating ourselves up for not having willpower, for being unmotivated, for being lazy.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just we can be done with all of that.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: The truth is we are exhausted.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: We are pulled in every different direction.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: We are navigating hormonal shifts that affect everything our sleep, our mood, our energy, and our ability to summon motivation and willpower and discipline on demand.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's already hard.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's hard for men, but it's that much harder for us because we are going through perimenopause and menopause.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And those bring about real physiological changes that impact every single function and system in our body.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Our cortisol in our body becomes more reactive.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Our sleep quality, just because we're getting older, decreases.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: We lose our muscle mass.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Our bones start to break down.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Estrogen shifts really affect mood regulation and cognitive function.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: So this is why discipline for women over 40 cannot be about white-knuckling your way through.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: It has to be about making the path of least resistance the best path, the healthiest path.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that means that your gym bag's packed the night before.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not when you're tired in the morning.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: It means that your fridge has food ready to go that you actually want to eat, not some strict plan that you have to force yourself to follow.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: It means that your schedule has protected time for training and for food prep and for grocery shopping and menu planning.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're done with hoping that we find time.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: You have to protect your schedule and make time for these things.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Discipline is essentially just structure.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And structure is what allows you to show up on the hard days without requiring motivation or willpower to do it.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So let's recap where we are so far.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Motivation is a feeling, it is fleeting, it comes and goes, it is unreliable.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Willpower is a resource, but it's a finite resource and it runs out.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And discipline is a tool.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: It can help us, but it still requires you to make a conscious choice every single time.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: So none of these three three things on their own are going to carry you into creating sustainable change.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: So what is the answer?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that it is identity.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I mean by that.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you think about the difference between these two statements, I'm trying to work out more.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a woman who strength trains three times per week.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: One is an action that you're attempting, that you're hoping happens.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the other one is just who you are.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: When your healthy habits become connected to your identity, to who you are, not just what you do, you no longer have to rely on motivation to start or maintain those habits.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a theory.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I see this in myself and in the women I coach all the time.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: There is a shift that happens when a woman stops saying, I have to food prep, and she starts saying, I am a woman who fuels my body intentionally.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is just what I do.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: She stops negotiating with herself whether to prep her meals and she just does it because that's who she is.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: The question of motivation, like, do I feel like food prepping, kind of becomes irrelevant.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't really matter because we don't ask ourselves if we feel like brushing our teeth.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't wait to feel motivated to put on our seatbelt.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: These are just part of our identity.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: These are things that we do.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: These are habits.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: These are non-negotiables.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: These are on autopilot.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the beautiful thing there is that there is no choice.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're not sitting there deciding should I brush my teeth or not.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: You just do it.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is just part of who you are and what you do.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the ultimate goal of our habits.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Our habits should become automatic representation of who we are and who we are hoping to become.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you build that identity?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think that there are three components to this.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: So the first one is your values.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And really what that means is just what matters most to you, like family, quality time with loved ones, or maybe longevity, maybe it is feeling strong, confidence.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: When you get clear on your values, your habits are then connected to something real and meaningful.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you're not clear on your values and you're chasing a number on the scale, it is a foundation that will easily crumble.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if your foundation is built on the values that are most important to you, then that is a solid foundation from which to build everything else.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is your why.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we already talked about this, but the why goes deeper than the values.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your why is super personal, super specific.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's emotional, it should tug at your heartstrings.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: It is the version of you that you are fighting for.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because there will be hard days.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And on those days, your why is the only thing that will carry you.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: If your why doesn't make you feel something, it's not deep enough yet.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: So keep going.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: I get choked up when I think about not only in my business, but also in my health.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can picture if I someday get to be a grandma, like I can picture this.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it gives me butterflies and it chokes me up because what an awesome privilege that will be someday.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be there fully for it.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I want my body to be able to hold up.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: What I recommend in order to find your why is to just keep going deeper, like layers of an onion.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing might be, I want to lose weight.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second thing might be so that I can move without achy joints.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then you go even deeper, and it's like, well, why?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that I can keep up with my grandkids.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so why?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: So that I can show them and be a great example for them.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because my grandma was a really awesome example for me.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you just keep going and you keep going and you keep going.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually you will get to a really deep why.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's such an important part of this process.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And number three are your habits.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where identity actually gets built.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it's complicated because the identity isn't really there yet.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: But with your habits, you are starting to act like that person before she even exists.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that really is where the identity is built, day by day, choice by choice.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you do the thing you said you would do, even when you don't feel like it, especially when you don't feel like it, you're casting a vote for the woman you're becoming.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just working out, you're not just prepping your food.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are proving to yourself who you are.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And those small proofs add up to an identity that you can trust, that you can stand on.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: So again, to repeat, number one is your values, number two is your why, and number three are your habits.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Those are what build a woman who doesn't need motivation or willpower or discipline because she already knows who she is.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what this might look like in an example.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: If your values are energy and presence, and you want to feel good and you want to be there, really there for your family in the future, then your why is that you watched your own mother shrink in her later life, physically and emotionally, and you've decided that will not be your story.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And your habits are a 30-minute strength training workout four days a week and a protein-focused breakfast every morning.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you have your values, you have your why, you have your habits.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's simple, it's specific, and it's completely unshakable because it's not a plan that you're following that is strict and rigid.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: It is who you are.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've been thinking about recently how quickly the first almost 50 years of my life have gone by.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even believe it.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm guessing that the second hopefully 50 years are gonna go just as fast.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to be deliberate about my choices, my actions, about my intentions.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: To be the one behind the wheel.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because time is going to move, whether we are paying attention or not.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if we are just reacting to life, surviving the busy seasons, waiting for things to slow down so that we can finally start taking care of ourselves, we will always be waiting.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are tired, exhausted, frustrated, if you're saying no to things in your life that you actually want to say yes to, let those things be your why.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let that be your driver for showing up, even when it's hard, even when it's busy.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is how you create a better future for the second half.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is your time, not someday, not when the kids are grown or when work slows down or life gets easier, but now with deliberate, intentional choices every single day.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not overhauling your whole life.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is just taking small action after small action.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: We have to stop relying on motivation.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to start building the habits and the systems that support the life that we want.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't listened to episode three, I went over my simpler method, how to build habits that last in midlife.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to just share two of the letters from the simpler mnemonic, because I think it will help as you are really conceptualizing this whole idea of getting rid of motivation, getting rid of discipline, getting rid of willpower, and focusing on your values, your why, and your habit, your habits.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because before you build any new habit, it's so important.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: The S is start with gratitude.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have to start from a place of appreciation for your body.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Appreciation for what your body already does.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Appreciation for the fact that you have breath in your lungs right now.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: That reframe alone from I have to to I get to is huge.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: From I hate the way I look in the mirror to I am so grateful to have a physical body to experience this life on earth, that is a huge shift.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's such an important one.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the P in simpler is progress over perfection, because here's where so many midlife women get derailed on their journey is if we miss a workout or we eat something that is off our plan, our inner critic immediately speaks up and says, Well, you blew it.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that all or nothing thinking is the enemy of sustainable habits.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: When your habit is tied to your identity, your values, and your deep why, a missed day is just a missed day.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like a failure.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to quit.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to start over Monday.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: You just continue because it's who you are.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is not ever to be perfect.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is to be the kind of woman who doesn't quit on herself.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, what would the woman I'm becoming do today?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not, do I feel motivated?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have willpower?
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: What would she do and then do that thing?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna give you some homework for today's episode.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to actually write down in the present tense, I am a woman who, and then fill in the blank.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: I am a woman who fuels her body with whole real foods.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: I am a woman who trains several days a week in order to get stronger.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: I am a woman who keeps her commitments to herself.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: I am a woman who earns my shower.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you gotta say it like it's already true because identity is built backwards.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: You have to claim it before you actually feel it.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: So forget motivation, forget willpower, forget discipline alone, and instead align your choices with the best version of you and then just commit to those standards no matter what.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: The woman you want to become is not waiting for you to feel motivated.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: She's waiting for you to finally decide that you are worth it.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want the hopefully next 40 to 50 years to look like that ideal version in your mind's eye, this is how you make it happen.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not by waiting to feel ready, not by relying on motivation that comes and goes, but by deciding who you are, aligning your choices with that future version of yourself, and then committing to it no matter what.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Decide, align, commit.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: That is the whole thing.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is complicated and nuanced, but it is actually very simple.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: And remember that we are not committing to overhauling our whole life.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: We are committing to eating breakfast.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: We are committing to lifting weights.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: We are committing to walking, right?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: These are small things.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: You can do them one at a time.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can do little baby steps 10 minutes a day.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: But you just have to get into action and stop waiting to feel motivated.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hope my words make sense.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this resonates with you.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to ask you to follow or subscribe to the show so that you don't miss a future episode.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about this stuff every single week: the mindset, the movement, the nutrition, everything you need to feel strong and confident in this season of life.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: So hit follow wherever you're listening.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have a girlfriend who needs to hear this message today, please share this with her.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we grow this community one moment at a time.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks for listening, my friend.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, progress over perfection and consistency over intensity.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep going, keep glowing.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.