Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Willy's Wonderland vs Snake Eyes

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Willy's Wonderland vs Snake Eyes · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:00
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
0:06
Oh,
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and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, something, something Tommy knee.
0:20
Tommy shin, but whole whatever.
0:22
Are the six little chickies song?
0:24
The six little chickies song was honestly great. Yeah, this is terrible for him.
0:28
But I hate that back. Yeah.
0:30
I mean, OK, the birthday song made me want to fucking die and murder.
0:34
I mean, I think that was the point of it.
0:36
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
0:38
I mean, it was made to infuriate.
0:41
Me, serious killers.
0:43
It really gets them going.
0:46
Well, hey, cheers to us for actually making it to the end of season one.
0:52
A year more than a year.
0:55
I guess that's true. We have had two 9-11 recordings.
0:58
Speaking of travesties, welcome back to cage magical and about
1:01
why you need a Nicholas cage.
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I'm your host, Sean, here with my co-host.
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I'm Nick and our producer, Peter. Hello.
1:08
And this is an auspicious episode where because this is the wrap up
1:12
of our first round through the bracket of our initial bracket.
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This is the end.
1:17
We still haven't met Nicholas Cage. I know.
1:20
You know, I was really excited the other day.
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I was watching a movie and I was like, oh, man,
1:24
I was watching the credits as I do.
1:26
And I was like, oh, that name that looks familiar.
1:29
The like cages hairdresser from the movie.
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And I was like, fuck.
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So I look it up and like, oh, shit, this guy's done a ton of Nicholas Cage's
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hair like tons of movies.
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And I was like, oh, we should totally look for this guy.
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And I was like, oh, he's dead. Oh, damn it.
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I would have loved to have talked to Nick Cage's hairdresser.
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I bet he's got a million stories to tell.
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Yeah. I just want to hear about that flow.
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So on this podcast, we have watched 64 Nicholas Cage films
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with the plan to whittle this down cage match style.
1:58
Hey, the one one one.
2:00
Is that where the name came from?
2:01
Hmm. Finally makes sense.
2:04
I thought you 32 episodes. Yeah.
2:06
We're just finding the best one most scientifically through argument.
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Some would call it debate.
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No, they have not been through a high school debate class.
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Then we barely meet the threshold for civilized conversation.
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All right. Willie's Wonderland.
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All right. All right.
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It's your birthday and we want you to have fun.
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It's your birthday.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, because it's been a wild week.
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The composer was also the writer and director.
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I believe so. Yeah. OK.
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All the songs in this except for the one licensed song.
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Oh, kind of slap.
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I know. I really wish that they had done something like if they had just done
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a Willie's Wonderland cover of Freebird, that would have been fucking killer.
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Oh, that's astounding.
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But just putting like straight up Freebird in there, it's like,
3:00
I don't know.
3:01
I don't know.
3:01
That's the second time we've seen Nicholas Cage and Freebird on screen together.
3:05
And what was the other one?
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Connor. Oh, yeah.
3:10
I thought you were setting up a booby joke.
3:12
No, 34 episodes is apparently where we run out of jokes.
3:18
Oh, that's two episodes away.
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We're good. 32 episodes is where we run out of jokes.
3:24
Willie's Wonderland. Nicholas Cage plays a guy.
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Yeah. Whose car gets.
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Totaled, not totaled, but the tires get taken out from under him
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and he gets towed to Podunk nowhere and thousand dollars
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cash to fix his car.
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Yeah. So we have Internet or ATMs or it takes credit card
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since no one has cash anymore.
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They offer the deal because it cleans up the old Willie's Wonderland
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there and goes and cleans up old Willie's Wonderland. Gross.
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Yeah. Hold on. Let me see if I can do this.
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Have your way with me, boys.
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I already said there's not a penis in this movie.
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This wrap up is perfect.
4:06
Is it? Hold on. Try this one.
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Nicholas Cage is fucking ripping around in a Corvette out in like dirt
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ass roads.
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Nobody to stop him.
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Just fucking freedom everywhere.
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When all of a sudden he just slams into a spike strip
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that some piece of shit little kid left out totally putting all of his tires out.
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When a tow truck comes and gets him,
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he slams down some sick ass punch pop soda.
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And the tow truck driver's like, well, we'll get you taken care of.
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Well, he gnaws on a fucking slim Jim
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just hanging out of his mouth like a cigar.
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And I thought it was a cigar for the longest time.
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You know, it was just one thick ass sausage hanging in his mouth.
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So he takes him back and he's like, oh, it's going to you're going to need new tires.
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And oh, I better do this engine work to this is going to be a thousand bucks.
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And Nick Cage just stares at him again.
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Nick Cage hasn't said a word.
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He's just like a monolith of strength and verity verity.
5:05
Yeah, that's the word.
5:07
Yeah, that guy fucks for sure.
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Then we're introduced to Tex McAdoo,
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who's going to let Nick Cage clean Willie's Wonderland
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in exchange for the repairs of his car.
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Willie's Wonderland being a Chuck E.
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Cheese Ripoff that has seen better days.
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Yeah. Beyond just the dirt
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and what could be blood stains all over everything and the graffiti on all the walls.
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It's just absolutely neglected.
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Like animatronics table like the place is a shithole.
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So who Texas like go ahead and like you set your stuff down
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and here's a T-shirt.
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Now you're officially an employee and that gets no rise from Nick Cage.
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But he puts the shirt on and he puts his soda in the fridge
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because he brought a burlap sack full of soda with him.
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Did you see the tagline on the soda?
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A fistful of caffeine to your kisser.
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That's fucking great.
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That is a good one.
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I found a punch pop koozies online.
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I was like, oh, man, I kind of want one of those.
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And then I was like, I have a very important question.
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This is something that we've never talked about.
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It might end our friendship because I know you're an Oregonian.
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OK, what do you say?
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So to. Oh, thank God.
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Yeah.
6:28
Wait, is Oregon usually a pop state?
6:30
Where I lived, it was. Yeah.
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Yeah. Midwest was pretty pop centric.
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It's wrong. I agree.
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I don't like it. All right.
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We can still be friends. We can continue this podcast.
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Whoo.
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So he puts all his shit in the fridge and whatnot and like gets to cleaning.
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There's these kids that try like cut to outside cut to exterior.
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Willy's Wonderland.
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Some kids like try to burn this shit down earlier and like one of them gets arrested.
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And then her punk ass friends like help break her out of her trailer home
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and where the sheriff handcuffed her to the radiator step mom.
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Yeah. So this has every element of a good porno.
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They break her out and like everybody goes to Willy's Wonderland
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to like burn the place down and supposedly save the dude who's inside,
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even though they immediately start just dumping gas on everything again and.
7:22
You know, to let it dumb.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Yeah, those kids were getting to how dumb they are.
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They are like the epitome of dumb horror movie kids
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smoking weed outside the haunted amusement restaurant.
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It's like the rule.
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If you commit sin or whatever in a. Yeah.
7:42
Horror movie, you're definitely going to die.
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Definitely going to die or, you know, the blonde bimbo and the black kid.
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They're just like, we're in this horrifying place.
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Might as well. Fuck. Yeah. Super happy fun room.
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The guy who wanted to be her boyfriend.
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What was his sin? Just being a fucking.
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Punt ass buster. Being a fuck.
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Yeah, he was weak. He was just a piece of shit.
8:03
Well, I mean, the one guy who gets the first kid, you guys.
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I mean, he has like two lines.
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Which is the first kid to die. I don't remember.
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It is killed by nighty night. Yeah. OK.
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Yeah. OK. Let's let's let's run quickly through the menagerie of seven
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animatronic fuckheads.
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We have Willie the Weasel, Artie the Alligator, Siren Sarah,
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Cami the Chameleon, Gus Gorilla, Nighty Night, Ozzie the Ostrich
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and Tito the Turtle. Yeah.
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The only one with an accent.
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A somewhat offensive one.
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But he was a good turtle.
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He was he was my favorite.
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Yeah. Fifth Ninja Turtle right there.
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Tito with his mustache and his sombrero.
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He didn't get he didn't get invited out to very many ninja fights, but
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but he was there.
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So yeah, Nick Cage is locked in this place.
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His credited name is the Janager outside of some like wild grunting
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while doing his mechanical motoring and pinball and pinball and soda drinking.
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He always had a.
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But no spoken dialogue, so probably mute.
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It's the only reason he doesn't have a cell phone.
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I think he's just too tough for words.
9:20
I buy that as well.
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When the tow truck drivers is like, yeah, we don't got no internet here.
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They're going to put it in.
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Well, then they did.
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And then later all the kids have cell phones.
9:30
Well, one kid has a cell phone to call the sheriff with.
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So they have cell towers.
9:33
Yeah, I was going to say they're.
9:35
Yeah, totally different. Different things.
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You can use the internet through over cellular.
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Well, yeah, I suppose that's true.
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But can you run an ATM off of an off of a cell phone?
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But what if they all only got three G?
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What if they were like, stuck back in that world?
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Yeah, you shut your not even LTE.
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They're just like, good luck downloading porn on that.
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Impossible. That's why you have rampant teen fucking.
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So Nick Cage takes the whole like, take your break thing seriously
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because he's cleaning for a bit.
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Watch goes off, goes and has a punch pop,
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discovers this old Willie's Wonderland pinball machine,
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starts to clean it off, gets his beat back, goes back out.
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And then like every time he turns around,
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there's an ostrich a little closer to him.
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They did a couple of slaps and then the ostrich comes to life.
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That ostrich scene was my favorite murder, I think,
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just because it's the first and it kind of sets the tone.
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And I loved how we just sort of like boops him in this in the like tummy.
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And it's like, well, it's also the most interesting because the ostriches
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like the only one that's clearly not just a guy in a suit.
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It's actually a guy in a suit.
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I mean, yeah. But he like they green screen his body out
10:49
and he's got a puppet stick that he handles the head with.
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Well, I mean, it just moves like everything else is just like a mascot costume.
10:57
Yeah. Like the head is stable.
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Yeah. The neck wiggles and then the body just kind of jiggles around his body.
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But like Nick Cage, you know, kills it with a broom.
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Kills it with a broom. Oh, he breaks it in half and then like ninja.
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Yeah. Skills he's learned from movies such as jujitsu.
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But then like my piano
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uses duct tape to like fix the cut on his face of the ostrich gave him
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and then proceeds just to go about his day.
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Yeah. He goes right back to clean.
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He bags up the ostrich.
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I would do is dismantle each and every one of those things.
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Well, the other ones haven't done anything to him.
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That's true.
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They haven't even said that they wanted to eat his face.
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And the amount of time he spends killing is time taken away from cleaning.
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He's very like single minded.
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But I appreciate the way he just approaches this entire situation of,
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well, I'm here to clean this entire place.
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Shit's going to fall apart.
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But God damn it, I'm going to clean this place and go home with my car
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because he wasn't going to let his car like get taken away.
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He was going to hold up on his end of this deal.
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That's fair. I mean, his car was on the line.
12:07
Yeah. All right. You sold me.
12:09
I did like the the cleaning scene in the bathroom that like kind of drugged out.
12:13
Fast forward. Oh, yeah.
12:14
Our next one with Gus Gorilla.
12:16
Gus Gorilla.
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So the animatronics are alive.
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And we find out later that there was a pact with Satan
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to transfer the soul of serial killers into the animatronics.
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As you do a classic satanic serial killer animatronics pack,
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there is a halfway through this, you know, where else to go about
12:36
halfway through this film, there's an extreme exposition dump,
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which is the only dump you get in this movie, because otherwise
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it's all hard ons and like good times. It's awesome.
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The birthday song starts up again, which gets him to leave the bathroom
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when he comes back in.
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We'll eat your soul or you will die is written in blood on the. Yeah.
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And then the doors start closing on their own.
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So do they possess like evil magic as well?
13:01
Yeah, I would assume like I mean.
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And why don't they use more of it?
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They might just have limited ability based on the amount of technology
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that their bodies are built on.
13:12
There's not enough organic matter to like harness good Satan powers.
13:17
You can like poltergeist an arm and close a door.
13:20
Yeah. But you. Yeah.
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So we're going with a shadow run rules.
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The more of your body you give up, the less magic you can tap into.
13:26
Yeah, exactly like that.
13:27
Well, one of them is playing hide and seek with Nicolas Cage
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in the bathroom. I know this appeals to you.
13:32
It does. This is a shadow run podcast now. All right.
13:35
No, it's not.
13:37
But you're on the work system ever.
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And then he like opens all the bathroom stalls.
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Nothing there except the girl that just jumps down from the roof.
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Yeah, I love the way he just sort of apparates above and like swings down.
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And have you ever swung on the like door thingy?
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There's usually like a sharp ridge on the top that's not comfortable
13:59
to like swing around on gorilla hands, though.
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And robot gorilla hands. Robot gorilla hands.
14:03
That's probably what so my the line that gets me every time.
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Gorilla greetings.
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And then for my money, the best fight scene this whole movie,
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because it really uses the space up.
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Plunger comes into play at one point.
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He plunges Gus right in the mouth.
14:22
And that's the only.
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No, Tito later begs for mercy, too, but Gus's because he's like, wait,
14:28
what? No, we can we can talk about this.
14:30
Yeah. As he gets his jaw like into the urinal and head kicked in.
14:35
Yeah, it's definitely a little curb stop.
14:36
American history X situation there.
14:38
Yeah, it was no good.
14:41
It was a great fight, but it's not how you want to go out chewing on a urinal cake.
14:46
Oh, but that was a good one.
14:48
Bags up bags of dust.
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Throws him in the corner.
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Goes about his business.
14:52
Yeah. So now we're two animatronics down and this is where the kids end up
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getting into the place because they're trying to warn Nick Cage.
14:59
And he kind of blows him off
15:02
when they try to talk to him through the window.
15:04
But they get up on the roof like, I don't know, live whatever
15:09
that Anna Kendrick wannabe character, Emily Tosta.
15:12
Yeah, she gets in and she's running around and Nick Cage is like,
15:16
well, I got no time for you.
15:17
And then all of her dumbass.
15:19
Yeah. Then all of her friends fall through the roof because they get into a tussle
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and the place isn't structurally sound, so they fall into the ball pit.
15:27
Classically, all fell perfectly into the ball pit.
15:29
Yeah, they were at various different points in the ceiling.
15:32
Yeah. Also been the perfect time for the alligator attack in the ball pit.
15:37
Oh, that would have been great.
15:38
It does not play enough of a role in the film.
15:41
It plays zero role aside from like fall.
15:44
Arresting. Yeah.
15:46
Yeah, it's on the poster.
15:48
Well, I mean, with a name like Willie's Wonderland, you got to have a ball pit.
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So all these kids are in there now.
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They're all arguing.
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Then Willie busts into the best song, in my opinion, of six little chickens
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in the end of the line, six little chickens and all do fine or whatever it goes.
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But it's fucking awesome.
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That's a good one.
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And it's just got like a really good kind of rhythm and beat.
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And then it just gets real sinister as it's like, oh, he's just talking about all these kids
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that are going to get eaten in the weasel pen.
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And that's great.
16:23
Two of them already run off.
16:24
What's the fucking?
16:25
Yeah. Yeah.
16:26
The slutty chick.
16:27
And well, that's slut shaming the chick who gives it out willingly.
16:32
Permiscus.
16:33
That's her one character trait.
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Yeah.
16:35
She knew how to get out of handcuffs.
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Using a bobby pin, which is not very practical, but cinematically great.
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So they go off to the super happy fun room to have some super happy fun.
16:47
The other kids are all there and hear this song.
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And then out of nowhere, nighty night like just pops up behind the weakest of them all.
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And one of the least amount of lines.
16:59
Yeah.
17:00
Because he's about to get a sword stuffed right through his chest.
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And it's like the fattest like a cloud strafe.
17:06
Fomis looking sword like this thing's almost a foot wide and like thickness.
17:11
So he gets fucking taken out.
17:13
So real bad in the tum tum.
17:15
Yeah.
17:15
Yeah. So Nick Cage comes back from break and grabs nighty night sword and off with his head.
17:22
Yeah.
17:23
Never see that sword again.
17:24
But when hold on to that.
17:26
No way, dude.
17:27
Even when he had a knife, he gave the knife away.
17:29
He doesn't need a weapon.
17:31
I mean, he'll use broom handles and burlap sack full of soda.
17:35
But he's not about like taking an undue advantage.
17:40
He's going to give these animatronics every amount of money.
17:44
Every amount of chance they have.
17:47
Yeah.
17:47
So we have the two fucking in the Super Happy Fun Room.
17:50
Oh, yeah.
17:51
Which get taken out by the alligator.
17:53
Yeah, they get gated.
17:53
They get gated.
17:54
They're gated by one of their heads off.
17:56
They get gated while they're fucking because he gets closer.
17:59
The chameleon is in the arcade with the wimpy kid that wants to be his boyfriend.
18:05
Siren and Tito.
18:07
Oh, they got the other like nerdy looking kid.
18:10
Yeah, there's the nerdy black guy.
18:12
They get him.
18:13
And then the incel dude gets it from the chameleon.
18:18
Yeah.
18:19
She and he had the he had the weakest one because she like just roped him with her tongue
18:24
and like broke his neck.
18:26
That was like right then.
18:28
Oh, that's one.
18:29
Yeah, he hands her the knife at that point.
18:30
Yeah, like live runs in.
18:32
Yeah.
18:33
Nick Cage is there puts his dukes up.
18:35
Watch goes off, looks at it.
18:36
Just hands live back her own knife and walks away.
18:41
That was just so good.
18:43
And I'm assuming it's a 15 minute break.
18:45
So loose fighting with his chameleon for 15 minutes, cuts its tongue off.
18:48
And then he comes back in and finishes it.
18:50
No, he doesn't finish it.
18:51
But he like saves her.
18:52
Soon.
18:52
He finishes it with Sarah later.
18:54
But they have the managé to.
18:56
Well, he wraps it up and like chokes it out and it's presumed dead,
19:00
but it disappears and comes back later.
19:04
The kids are like trying to like get out of the room and they like weekly try the door
19:10
and whatever and then live is there.
19:12
She's like, oh my God, they're inside.
19:14
We got to get to them.
19:15
And the cage like dragging the carcass of the chameleon or whatever at that point,
19:21
just puts it down and just boots the door in the door.
19:25
Just like does this sick like floppy fly right into the room.
19:29
But it's so good.
19:31
So we come like they call the cops the one cop at the sheriff who shows up with her
19:36
backup cop with a backup cop from out of town.
19:39
That's when we find out that the sheriff and you know,
19:42
he's also known as that the whole town's in on it and kind of like,
19:45
you know, get back in there.
19:45
You got to die.
19:47
Has the other cop take live arrest live drive off who then gets killed by Tito.
19:54
Which is just great.
19:56
One of your favorite fight scenes, if I remember scenes, if I remember correctly.
19:59
That is correct.
20:00
That is a great fight scene.
20:02
Tito gets his balls that he says he has smashed into the butt of a.
20:07
The shotgun.
20:09
He just gets fucking whipped with until he passes out.
20:15
He just gets beaten the balls till he blacks out
20:20
and he begs for mercy the whole time.
20:22
So good.
20:23
That's like a turtle.
20:25
So eventually the cop brings Nick Cage back to Willie.
20:29
Willie kills the cop, then like proceeds to like beat the shit out of Nicholas Cage,
20:34
leaves him for dead in the ball pit, though supposedly has to eat people.
20:37
Yeah, they tenderizing balls.
20:39
So I would say for all the actual fun, stupid action in this film,
20:43
the Willie fight is so lame, slow motion, like wide swings.
20:48
The Willie suit, I don't think lends itself well to fighting.
20:52
None of them actually did.
20:54
The the fight choreography really boils down to shaky cam
20:58
and that's how they achieved any kind of action.
21:01
But the gorilla was fun.
21:02
The ostrich was fun.
21:03
Those are the best fights for sure.
21:05
Well, then the only one that he doesn't kill is a siren, Sarah.
21:09
Right. But she blows herself up when she blows up the car.
21:12
Yeah. With Tex McAdoo, Tex McAdoo.
21:15
Second best name in the movie.
21:18
Yeah. The next day.
21:19
What's the best one? Tito Turtle could be whatever the serial killer's name was
21:23
because he got a sweet three name name.
21:25
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're right.
21:28
A real Bart Harley Jarvis.
21:29
Yeah, he's a real Bart Harley Jarvis.
21:33
Jerry Robert Willis.
21:34
Oh, Jerry Robert Willis. That's a good one.
21:37
All in all, this movie, um, real light on plot.
21:41
It's a you know, it's a horror comedy.
21:43
It's if nothing else, inspired heavily by Five Nights at Freddy's
21:49
and just like Chuck E.
21:52
Cheese culture. Yeah.
21:54
You know, Satanism and stuff.
21:57
But it's a I don't know.
21:59
I I really enjoyed this movie, obviously, because it is just
22:02
so dumb and you just like you just let everything go
22:05
and you let the movie be the movie.
22:07
It's short. It's like an hour and 25 minutes or some shit.
22:12
Yeah, I mean, it moves well.
22:13
It's like you you're full of like stuff happening.
22:16
There's the and there's that awesome dancing.
22:19
Nick Cage dancing and playing pinball.
22:21
Yeah, that's great.
22:22
Improv the entire scene.
22:25
That was originally supposed to be like an arcade game,
22:28
but they realized it was just going to be cheaper
22:31
to make a custom pinball machine.
22:34
So they went that way.
22:35
I mean, the movie cost five million dollars
22:38
and it did not do well because it it was covid.
22:41
Yeah, it released right when everything shut down.
22:43
So real tough sell there.
22:45
How much of that do you think went to licensing Freebird?
22:49
I was looking that up.
22:50
Obviously, they're not going to just post it online.
22:54
But typically a song for a movie would be like under sixty thousand dollars
23:00
for something of that scale, like a classic rock.
23:03
That's way lower than I actually thought.
23:05
Yeah. But we're going to use all our Patreon money to get Freebird.
23:09
Five seconds of Freebird.
23:11
We're going to have a very last episode.
23:15
Close. Don't even try.
23:17
Yeah, but they'll come for us.
23:19
So this is a rough one in terms of talking about like
23:22
Cage's performance because he just has his one.
23:26
He has his poster stand for this whole movie. Pretty much.
23:29
Yeah, he's very stoic.
23:30
The left side of the lip kind of sticks out just enough.
23:33
That's his look for the whole movie.
23:35
Mm hmm. Yeah. And beating shit. Yeah. And playing pinball.
23:38
Yeah. And drinking soda.
23:40
Yeah. And drinking soda.
23:41
I I do love his physicality in this movie.
23:45
Like he's not he's, you know, getting out there in years
23:49
and they obviously didn't go crazy with like choreography or anything.
23:53
But like the way he slams those sodas and like crushes the can
23:57
and throws it in the garbage and just the way he like moves and stuff.
24:01
He's very self-sure because he's in like decent shape in this, too.
24:05
He's no slouch in this film.
24:07
Well, he did, you know, give himself a duct tape girdle at one point, too.
24:10
But even before that, he was still like just in the T-shirt.
24:13
I'm like when he's just mopping, I'm like, you're not slippy.
24:16
Yeah, because Pig came out not that long after this and he is definitely lumpier.
24:21
That's true.
24:22
So, yeah, I mean, what would you say?
24:23
Good cage, good movie, good, bad, bad, good, good.
24:27
Well, it's definitely a bad movie.
24:28
Bad. And I'm here for it.
24:31
Yeah. It's a bad movie in the best way.
24:33
Yeah. It's a great performance.
24:35
Yeah. With what he's given, like if you're doing a horror
24:38
comedy movie that probably only had like
24:43
a weekend's worth of writing involved in it. Yeah. Whoa.
24:47
Yeah. And that's if they were like running out of cocaine or something.
24:50
I don't know. But it's it's not a good movie, but it's a lot of fun.
24:56
Yeah. I still like this theory that like there is a series of Nick Cage films.
25:01
This theory is my own.
25:02
Well, there's a series of Nick Cage films where he's just playing like the same guy
25:06
just starting at Red Rock West.
25:08
Just a guy rocks into a town, solves its problem.
25:13
Red rocks into a town.
25:14
Red rocks into a town, solves his problem.
25:16
Red rocks right back out.
25:17
And this fits that mold.
25:19
Yeah, it does. Yeah.
25:20
Yeah. He is not here to get involved with everybody else's problems.
25:24
He's just like, I just want my fucking bitching Camaro or Corvette.
25:29
It was a Camaro, I think.
25:31
Who fucking I don't know. I'm not a fucking car guy.
25:33
Yeah. I have a theater degree.
25:35
Yeah. Listen to our God in 60 seconds.
25:37
So you know, we don't know shit.
25:39
He has a blue car.
25:40
I was blue. I know colors and he wants it back.
25:44
So unofficial sequel to Red Rock West.
25:46
Sure. What was what was your other one?
25:49
Looking glass.
25:50
I want just got just random guy just driving down the road, buys a motel.
25:56
Weird shit happens. He leaves.
25:57
Yeah. Like this is telling being a pervert and is like, no murders.
26:02
Yeah. No, thanks.
26:03
I mean, I mean, I guess you could start with the tow as a pervert.
26:07
You know, not for me.
26:09
You're not into shrimping.
26:11
You know, I'm into shrimp, but not shrimping.
26:15
So I worked with this guy.
26:17
He was a dance instructor, but he was working for the lighting company.
26:20
I worked at.
26:23
He used to always talk about like,
26:26
oh, man, you know what I mean, too?
26:27
You know, I'm a dude.
26:29
I like to get with like ballerinas, like dancers and stuff
26:33
who are up on their feet all the time.
26:35
I fucking suck those toes.
26:37
And I'm pretty sure he was just doing it to fuck with us
26:40
because he's married and stuff.
26:42
He's like, I'll get I'll get in there.
26:44
I won't get off those toes until they're white and wrinkly.
26:47
Boys, they're going to look like little Bay Shrimp when I'm done.
26:52
All right. I'm permanently off.
26:55
I know you managed to ruin shrimp for me and Sean. Fuck you.
26:58
Yeah. You guys are going to have to like bounce back real fast for Vegas.
27:02
I know.
27:04
Now it is Mission Shrimp possible.
27:06
I'm going to talk about it, too.
27:07
I'm going to send you pictures of like sucked up on toes.
27:10
Oh, maybe I'll find somebody who's letting
27:13
you take a video with me and I'll let them suck on my toes
27:18
and I'll suck on their toes.
27:19
We got to 69.
27:20
We're going to get straight off that plane, go straight to the wind
27:24
and just not look at our phones.
27:25
We're we're fully shrimp.
27:29
I think it's a shrimp.
27:31
To be clear, these guys are not staying at the wind.
27:34
They're just eating the wind shrimp.
27:36
Yes, you're allowed to eat other places.
27:38
Yeah, you know, you're not supposed to shit where you eat.
27:41
Good point.
27:42
All right. What do you guys think about quotes for this one?
27:44
I know it's impossible to do any sort of Nick Cage quote.
27:46
Did you have any other quotes that stood out or were amusing?
27:50
I mean, I liked gorilla greetings.
27:52
That's a good one.
27:53
I did really enjoy Ozzy Ostrich's like, I'm going to feast on your face.
28:00
That was pretty good.
28:01
Liv knocks on the door and tries to get him to pay attention.
28:05
She's like, you're going to die. You're going to fucking die.
28:06
They're going to kill you. And he just like walks away.
28:09
And then she says, God, I'm trying to help him understand
28:12
that he's going to die in here, but he won't listen.
28:15
Yep. I thought maybe he was deaf.
28:18
That would have been great at the end.
28:19
He just does full sign language to her.
28:22
No, he's just definitely doesn't care.
28:24
He's too cool for this problem, is my opinion.
28:27
So I like to think that Nick Cage's character in this at one point
28:30
was a mascot of something.
28:32
That's my head canon background for this character.
28:35
He's like he was a mascot that, you know, is on the run for something he did.
28:40
Or he's an imagineer.
28:41
Just his, you know, head is just had too much.
28:44
True. Abe Lincoln once came to life and tried to kill him.
28:48
That's how he gained his skills.
28:50
And hopefully that's what got rid of.
28:52
It's a small world.
28:53
That's still around, isn't it?
28:54
I think so. Yeah. Fuck.
28:56
Maybe the Hall of Presidents has gone.
28:57
I don't know. No, no, that's still there because they did the
29:00
the whole Trump one is is just a reskin on Hillary Clinton
29:03
because they really thought she was going to win.
29:06
So he's got some some very interesting lips.
29:10
I thoroughly enjoyed the ride of the film.
29:12
I enjoyed it both times. I watched it.
29:14
I mean, it's such an easy movie to watch.
29:16
You don't have to pay attention.
29:18
You know exactly what's going on.
29:20
It's going to happen.
29:21
I love the way he did take downs, but because he was always like
29:26
with the ostrich, he like reaches in and tears.
29:28
It's like mechanical spine out.
29:30
It's just spraying like motor oil all over him.
29:34
And with the alligator, he like pries its mouth open
29:38
and like just shoves his hand in there and like rips out the back of its throat.
29:42
It's very like, yeah, it's like old kung fu movie in like or Roadhouse.
29:48
It's just like in Roadhouse within Patrick Swayze, tears that guy's throat out.
29:52
Oh, God, such a good movie. So gnarly.
29:56
But we didn't have a monster truck in this one.
29:58
That would have been cool.
29:59
That would have been cool instead of getting his fucking sweet car back.
30:03
Oh, if they just had you had like, yeah.
30:07
He has to drive that lifted Camaro, that blue car straight over Tito Turtle.
30:14
So that's Willy's Wonderland.
30:15
Yep.
30:19
Hard to transition off of that one.
30:21
How did that get you, Nick?
30:23
I don't know. Just such a hard yupp.
30:25
I don't know.
30:27
Our second film this week is 1998 Snake Eyes,
30:32
which I was shocked to see that date after watching this film.
30:36
Why has got some severe post 9 11 vibe?
30:39
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true.
30:42
Nick Cage play this.
30:43
This movie could also be a prequel to
30:46
Bad Lieutenant because Nick Cage plays a shit cop at a boxing match
30:51
who a secretary of defense gets assassinated.
30:55
His best friend, Gary Sinise, was the bodyguard who was away from his post.
30:58
And Nick Cage has to solve the murder to save his friend.
31:01
Lieutenant Dan.
31:03
Just had to say, no, no, he's Commander Kevin Dunn.
31:06
No, Commander Dunn.
31:09
You got it.
31:10
There's an actor in this movie.
31:11
Also, also Kevin Dunn.
31:13
Yes. Except without a name.
31:15
Correct. Yes.
31:16
I like Kevin Dunn. Yeah.
31:17
Did you guys watch Veep?
31:19
No. Oh, man, that's a fucking good show.
31:21
He's a good character on there.
31:22
Also, there's a character I cannot think of the actor,
31:25
but it's the guy from the Baby of the Year competition.
31:29
Oh, yeah. The host for that.
31:31
Oh, OK. Sam.
31:33
Some plays like a full on Haseed dude on that show.
31:37
And he's so good. His name is Richard Splett.
31:40
Awesome. He's a he's a good actor.
31:43
Have you watched any of the after party?
31:46
No. The first season is just like an after party
31:49
after the high school reunion.
31:52
Everybody's coming back and like at the after party, somebody gets murdered.
31:55
And each episode ends up being like each person's point of view.
31:59
But they're all told from their perspective in like separate film styles.
32:06
So like one person's story is told as a romantic comedy.
32:11
And next one is like film noir and stuff like that.
32:16
That's actually kind of cool. It's pretty cool.
32:17
You somehow managed to kind of loop this back into this movie.
32:21
Yeah, because this whole movie is Nick Cage trying to solve this murder
32:24
for his friend and getting different people's stories
32:26
and having to piece it all together.
32:28
That actually was your best segue ever.
32:32
It was. You did it. 32 episodes.
32:35
Whoo. What I do.
32:38
Don't worry about it.
32:39
It'll never happen again. It's fine.
32:42
Everybody will.
32:43
We'll put a warning at the beginning of the episode.
32:46
They'll know when to skip it.
32:47
What you're talking about, Sean, I think was actually my favorite part,
32:50
because I watched this and I texted Nick after like 40 minutes of it.
32:54
And I had to stop watching that night.
32:55
And I was like, this movie is kind of fucking good.
32:57
Like, I love this multi perspective kind of thing.
33:01
And then they don't do it anymore. They start it.
33:04
So it all takes place at a boxing match. Nick Cage is there.
33:07
And the first thing that puts him on the case is the box
33:11
that you bet on the heavyweight champ goes down.
33:13
As soon as the gunshot goes off, like his head shoots up.
33:17
And Nick Cage is like, that guy didn't get knocked out.
33:19
He's who my money was on.
33:21
And that's he goes to interview him.
33:23
There is a very nice touch where once Nick Cage realizes
33:26
he's going to be on the news because he wants to run for mayor one day,
33:29
he needs a nicer, not shitty shirt to be like shot in.
33:33
So any time they do a lot filmed in.
33:36
Yeah, right. Good point.
33:38
Anytime they do a flashback and he's in like the paisley, like the yellow shirt.
33:43
The yellow shirt, you know, it's a flashback.
33:45
That shirt is also so sick.
33:47
Like it had so many good elements.
33:48
Like, did you notice on the back of the collar, the collar, like, well,
33:52
come to like a point and then like back out.
33:55
That was a good shirt. I'd wear the shit out of that.
33:57
I loved that shirt. The shirt wasn't the problem.
33:59
It's like the leather dress jacket.
34:02
That's the problem.
34:03
I don't know. That was a pretty good jacket, too.
34:05
This is a jacket that represents personal freedom.
34:09
I mean, personal freedom to have an affair and yell at his wife
34:12
for it because he's not, you know, about pizza.
34:15
Oh, man. What was that line when he's talking about his
34:19
like, Dunn's like, Oh, how's I don't remember his wife's name, Stacey.
34:24
And he's like, Oh, Daisy. Oh, the fat happy.
34:27
I love her. And he's like, No, no, no, not her.
34:30
The other one. Oh, Monica, skinny, angry.
34:33
I love her.
34:34
It's like, oh, man, I love the character he brings in this
34:39
because he's just like he's Atlantic City.
34:42
Yeah. I mean, this is where it's taking place.
34:44
He's just like, we're dealing.
34:46
Yeah, there's a tropical storm, Teresa or some shit going on.
34:50
And he's just like, he's having a blast.
34:52
He's like at the fight.
34:53
He's got his good buddy from back in the day in town
34:57
who got him like front row seats at the fight.
35:00
The boxer is like from the same school as him.
35:05
So like he's always constantly trying to like meet him
35:08
and talk about whatever fucking mascot they had.
35:13
And I mean, you see like, oh, he chases down
35:17
Louise Guzman or whatever.
35:19
And he's him down.
35:20
Yeah, because he's apparently a drug dealer.
35:22
And like, that's his only part, like 30 seconds of movie there.
35:27
But he takes his money and breaks all of his drugs and tells him like,
35:30
that's the that's the cost of doing business.
35:32
Oh, he's in one of the flashbacks to.
35:34
Yeah. Of the same scene. Yeah.
35:36
Yeah. Well, the lead up to that scene.
35:38
Yeah, I'm still mad at Louise Guzman because he owes me money.
35:42
Like legitimately, he tipped me no dollars.
35:45
He came in with his family to a Chili's in West Springfield, Massachusetts.
35:50
I got fucked by Louise Guzman.
35:53
Oh, man.
35:54
I bet he enjoyed the shit out of those baby back ribs that night, too.
35:57
He probably got like, I don't know, Southwest poppers or some shit.
36:01
Yeah. So the crux of this film is it tries to like do the three point of view thing.
36:07
It's Rashomon for any film buffs out there.
36:10
Well, OK, it's wanted. It wanted to be.
36:12
The thing is, nobody ever lies.
36:14
There's no like it would have been cool if he had to piece the mystery together.
36:18
But after the second flashback, which is Gary Sinise's flashback
36:23
him killing the terrorist, we just find out that Gary Sinise
36:27
like set up this whole thing.
36:30
Yeah, we learn he's the bad guy at about the 25 minute mark.
36:35
It's a little bit further than that.
36:36
But in a two hour movie, you've got about like an hour
36:41
and 20 minutes of knowing the entire conceit to the movie.
36:46
While Nicolas Cage still has to like piece it together
36:49
up until about like the last, I don't know, 45 minutes, 40 minutes of the movie.
36:55
But it just makes for a real painful like half hour of like,
36:58
oh, God, I'm doing this.
37:00
And like we have to listen to Gary Sinise say his lines with that stupid face of his.
37:05
He does have a stupid face.
37:07
Damn it. It is dumb, isn't it?
37:08
It looks too short.
37:10
Like somebody sat on his head as a younger man, too.
37:13
It looks even weirder. Oh, yeah.
37:16
Oh, and he has that hippie hair and he's all iron sides and Forrest Gump. Right.
37:20
Yeah. For the first 40 minutes, movies like this movie is pretty good.
37:23
Yeah. His energy is just popping.
37:25
But once they kind of give up the give up the ghost is that the frame ghost or go.
37:32
Well, I'll tell you, Joseph's going to tell you.
37:34
Yeah, Josie, drop it in the cup.
37:37
Please do.
37:38
This is the lion's share all over again.
37:41
But once you once they give give that up, it's just like,
37:44
oh, it's like, what are the stakes now?
37:46
He's trying to save the informant.
37:48
Well, he doesn't even know, like from the beginning that it is an informant situation.
37:53
It's I mean, the Carla Gugino Gugino.
37:57
How do you say her name?
37:58
I couldn't see her name past that huge cleavage.
38:01
Man, that's how you distract them.
38:04
I'm looking not going to lie.
38:06
Like there's big, big honkers.
38:09
I OK. Sorry.
38:10
Two, two stories.
38:12
So a big honker has a very specific reference for my family now,
38:17
because any time Cora takes a big shit because she's always really backed up,
38:21
she'll just poop and then she'll go big honker.
38:24
The first time you've ever name checked your kid on the podcast.
38:27
That's true.
38:28
We'll see how I edit that out or in.
38:30
I don't know.
38:31
And then I remember seeing what did Sin City or not was it Sin City?
38:35
That's the that's the black and white.
38:37
Yeah.
38:39
When did that come out?
38:40
Twenty two thousand four something two thousand four.
38:43
Two thousand five something in that window.
38:44
It was after high school.
38:45
I know. Yeah.
38:46
After high school, but enough that I was still like horny
38:49
and I remember she takes off her top in that and I was like, damn, that is a two
38:56
thousand five. That's a hot ass woman.
38:59
So a secretary of defense is killed supposedly because of
39:03
they're testing out like a missile system.
39:06
Yeah. Some missile defense system.
39:08
Yeah.
39:09
Which they've been giving false false.
39:12
The test results. Yeah.
39:14
And the center, the secretary is going to like probably vote it down
39:18
because he is getting, you know, getting pressure from the libs.
39:21
Well, if he knew that it didn't work, then he went to allotted government money for it.
39:25
But they already said he was kind of like on the fence about it.
39:28
And OK, fine, I guess it doesn't really have anything to do with anything.
39:32
But what is it even more is there's after Jason's kills
39:37
his two cohorts in this assassination.
39:40
Oh, yeah.
39:41
Because Nick Cage knows too much and he can't kill his friend
39:44
because his friends is alibi.
39:45
After he kills his two cohorts, he meets with the guy
39:48
who's trying to open this casino.
39:51
The other threat coming a casino who we see around,
39:55
but I don't think has a lot of lines.
39:58
But there's this whole other thing where they need to sell the missile system
40:01
to get money to finish the casino, to fund something else like it.
40:04
Like there's so much needless extra plot to this.
40:08
Yeah. That guy's played by John Heard, who was probably most famously
40:12
the dad from Home Alone.
40:15
Oh, yeah. OK. He's Kevin McAlister's dad.
40:17
Yeah. Yeah. This movie tries to go too deep.
40:20
It it really wants to be the Manchurian candidate
40:23
and like have some real thick like government conspiracy shit going on.
40:29
But it's never going to be that.
40:31
I mean, for one, you got Nick Cage.
40:34
So that's pretty cool. Yeah.
40:37
Suck it, Manchurian candidate.
40:39
I mean, it could probably be.
40:40
Like you bring the job.
40:42
Yeah. Another Manchurian candidate.
40:43
But with Nick Cage, you get it.
40:45
I haven't seen the original in a really long time.
40:47
It's really good.
40:48
I was upset when I bought the Denzel one
40:50
because I accidentally bought it in full screen, not wide screen.
40:55
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
40:56
That's unwatchable.
40:57
Now it was real rough to put that on and be like,
41:02
the lines are on the wrong side of the TV.
41:05
I had a girlfriend once.
41:06
But congratulations.
41:08
I only brought two bottles of champagne.
41:10
I had a girlfriend.
41:11
I had a girlfriend once trying to do something nice for me.
41:16
Like when I first started dating, bought me a copy of Sam
41:20
and the Spider-Man on DVD, but bought me the full screen edition.
41:23
Oh, I did break up with her shortly after.
41:25
Good. Partially because of that.
41:27
Yeah. I mean, I can go home and hate myself.
41:30
That's fine.
41:31
I got that in spades.
41:34
What were we talking about?
41:35
All right. So, I mean, like we did the in-depth plot line of Willy's Wonderland,
41:41
and we are not hitting on any of the plot line.
41:43
So that has a plot.
41:44
So these is trying to like track down this woman who turns out to be an informant
41:49
who's going to tell the senator about the fake missile tests.
41:52
Mm hmm. That's why fake muzzle tough.
41:55
That's why the senator, that's where the defense secretary was killed
41:59
and she was shot because they were trying to assassinate her as well.
42:02
They hired a terror, a known terrorist to pull off the assassination.
42:07
Which like that's just classic racism, right? Yeah. Yeah.
42:09
Again, this is why I was like, this is some real post 9-11 thugs.
42:12
Oh, yeah. The suicide note, they stick in his pocket.
42:15
That's all like, oh, I'm going to have my 72 virgins and live in the shadow of all.
42:20
Yeah, I do like the scene where like they're setting up for the assassination
42:24
because they just like have a plastic grocery bag that the guy pulls like
42:28
sniper rifle out of. Yeah.
42:30
And then he goes into this like little box to like shoot him from,
42:34
like not bust out the glass and shoot him from.
42:36
Yeah, he basically was like the end cap from a grocery store
42:40
and shot him from underneath the stands. Miller like a Miller beer ad.
42:44
After he does that, when Gary Smith shoots him,
42:46
someone else comes up with another grocery bag that he pulls his gun out of.
42:51
Like, I'm pretty sure you have a gun, buddy.
42:52
You think you're I didn't even notice that.
42:54
Oh, yeah. Like I was so distracted with this movie.
42:56
It's the extra part. You got to keep your ballistics clean.
42:59
Yeah. Good point.
43:00
I did notice after he kills his cohorts, like the cleanup crew,
43:03
they're putting them in tubes and the whole end credits
43:06
is them putting up the concrete pillars. Oh, yeah.
43:09
So I'm like, oh, that's kind of a cool touch.
43:11
Well, and then at the end, you see like the woman's ring, like on the outside.
43:15
I'm like, ah, I felt clever.
43:17
And you just had to go and throw it out there.
43:20
I mean, they showed them lowering a body into the forms when Nick Cage was beat up.
43:25
That's what I know. Yeah.
43:26
Also, just like as much as I enjoy watching construction workers work,
43:30
I've made a living out of it, but it was the most awkward credits of just watching.
43:36
It reminded me of the widest kid, you know, Jaws scale.
43:41
Just the slow close up.
43:47
Do you know that one, Peter? I don't.
43:48
We're going to watch it after.
43:50
You're here. Imagine me laughing.
43:53
Yeah, we'll watch it after.
43:54
We're going to play.
43:56
But so Nick Cage gets the informant first.
43:59
Hides her in bay doors.
44:02
Yeah. So at one point when I was watching this, like, I think I went into a fugue state
44:06
and I did not see any of her going into this room that she is locked in,
44:11
because later they cut to her and I'm like, the fuck is this?
44:14
Yeah, he takes her there.
44:15
Yeah, he puts her in there.
44:16
It's like it looks like it's built to be.
44:19
I think it's a loading dock or it's like a storage room, but with weirdly high security.
44:25
And they're storing weird shit in there, too, like fake missiles and stuff
44:31
because of what it's going to be.
44:32
It has like missile decorations and shit.
44:34
But it's it's really, really weird.
44:37
And it's just like one sheet of corrugated metal.
44:42
There's no insulation, no, like wall or anything separating it from outside,
44:47
because we get something that like flies through it near the end in the hurricane.
44:51
So, yes, Nick Cage figures out that she's not going to be able to get in.
44:55
Figures out Gary Sinise is being the bad guy.
44:59
You should have just looked at his face.
45:01
Yeah, such a dumb.
45:02
But like finds proof.
45:04
They see he's destroyed the proof, but then like takes cage,
45:06
has the boxer heavyweight champion, eat him up for the information.
45:10
So Nick Cage is just like all fucked up like it can't talk for shit,
45:14
like big fucked up, like a big old goose eggs like.
45:21
You're going to edit that in earlier, and I'm going to sound like an asshole.
45:23
I'm talking about other things.
45:26
Don't tempt me with a good time.
45:29
So he wakes up from his pummeling and goes to goes to like find the girl
45:35
and Gary Sinise is following them.
45:37
The hurricane is picking up in this whole movie.
45:39
I'm like, why is there a hurricane again for this very next scene?
45:42
There's lightning outside.
45:43
Every time there's lightning, you can see Gary Sinise's shadow behind Nick Cage.
45:47
So like with the gun, so Nick Cage turns around and I'm not going to tell you.
45:51
Nick Cage finally goes in there with with her.
45:54
At this time, there is a reporter outside.
45:57
There's a big sphere that starts rolling down the street
46:01
that fell off the building.
46:02
At the same time, a cop van is rolling up the other side,
46:06
swerves out of the way of the big sphere into the double doors.
46:09
Just in time to catch Gary Sinise before he murders everybody.
46:12
Yeah, perfect timing.
46:14
Some little like real Deus Ex mocking at a wrap that story up.
46:17
But everything in this movie is so planned out.
46:21
And then they get to the end and they're just like,
46:23
I don't fucking know.
46:24
Cop van punches through the wall.
46:26
And then Gary Sinise kills himself in the dumbest way,
46:29
but he's kind of shoot himself to like, I guess he probably hit his lung,
46:33
but that wouldn't have been instant.
46:34
Yeah, I don't know.
46:35
It was very unsatisfying.
46:37
Yeah. And then.
46:38
Oh, man. And his stupid dumb face and his stupid dumb voice is like,
46:43
oh, but the murderer.
46:45
Oh, they killed.
46:47
Oh, and then like he's standing there with his fucking handgun
46:51
with like a silent footlong silencer on it.
46:54
And the cops are all like,
46:55
fucking shut up you with the gun.
46:58
Why don't you get on the ground?
46:59
You with that gun for murder?
47:01
Yeah, you murder weaponer.
47:03
So the Nick Cage hero cop,
47:06
all these reports about this big hero cop and then the movie remembers
47:09
what he was a piece of shit.
47:10
So he has his come up and come immediately.
47:13
Yeah, he gets a lot of accolades and then you see him
47:18
like getting swarmed by cops while he's jumping into his yellow Ferrari
47:22
or whatever, and all of his corruption stings and everything come out.
47:27
And then he goes to jail.
47:29
Well, then the movie then he meets up with the informant again at the end
47:33
who they have had no chemistry in this movie.
47:35
And then she's all like, I don't know.
47:36
She took her glasses off at least one time.
47:39
Yeah. At the very beginning, they were broken broke.
47:42
And then she couldn't see shit for the whole movie.
47:45
That's why she likes him.
47:46
Yeah. Well, it's like she needs someone's like, or she's like,
47:48
you have a wife and she ran away.
47:50
Oh, you have a girlfriend.
47:52
She ran away, too.
47:53
And it's like, I don't know.
47:54
But like, you know, if you're free in 12 to 18 months
47:57
and you want to like get a drink, I'd like that.
47:59
Yeah. He says he's headed upstate for a while and she's like, oh, yeah.
48:03
And then she catches on. It's like, oh, yeah.
48:06
The pen. But yeah.
48:08
And they're like, and then they share a kiss and the movie ends.
48:11
And the most unsatisfying, like none of that, like a solid
48:16
first half that just immediately falls apart.
48:19
So Nick, what do you put this good cage, bad cage, bad cage, good cage,
48:22
bad cage, good movie, good cage, bad movie, bad, good, bad, good, bad.
48:26
I used to be good at.
48:27
Pretty mediocre cage.
48:30
So I guess it falls to like just not a good cage.
48:32
He started out so strong and he had elements where he really connected
48:37
to the script that I liked, but it was super inconsistent.
48:41
I felt especially near the end.
48:43
He just kind of got flat unlike his face, which was real bulbous.
48:49
I mean, it was fine, but I mean, the audience
48:53
knows what's going on so early that I just stop caring.
48:57
It's like, oh, OK, well, I know minus one or two little details
49:02
what the whole conceit of this is.
49:04
So I'll just sit here and I'll get to the end.
49:07
Doesn't matter why he did it. Yeah.
49:09
To the audience. No, it doesn't.
49:11
Yes, I would also kind of agree mediocre performance by cage
49:15
with a lot of highs, but a lot of lows.
49:17
So just kind of middle, middling performance and not good movie.
49:20
Yeah. But you got to hear him do like mush mouth, beat up face
49:24
talking at the end.
49:26
That's a character actor, baby.
49:30
I don't think he went out on the weekends and like got beat up
49:33
to might have for the method acting.
49:35
Well, it played off later in Pig when he gets beat up.
49:38
He's been working his whole career just trying to figure out how to get beat up.
49:43
Yeah. Do you guys have quotes?
49:46
My quote comes from when Nick Cage is in the stairwell
49:49
and he's talking to Julia and she's told him that it was done that
49:53
or she saw kill everybody. Yeah.
49:56
Like done was the one he was waiting there to kill the terrorists.
49:59
He's involved.
50:00
And she's just like, look, I'm sorry.
50:03
And Rick's like, who gives a shit if you're sorry?
50:07
She's like, are you mad at her?
50:08
What are you mad at me for?
50:10
He's just like, because I didn't have to know you decided to have this problem.
50:14
Not me. My world would have gone to gone on turning just fine.
50:18
But now either way I look, I have to do something I don't want to do.
50:23
Do you understand? I do not want to do this
50:26
because he has to go arrest his friend.
50:27
Yeah. Or ignore murders. Right.
50:30
So he's kind of stuck in a rock and a hard place sort of situation.
50:34
Mine was from like when he's all coked out at the beginning
50:37
and guns telling him is like, you know, come into private security,
50:41
make more money, get his son out of there, tell him.
50:43
Oh, yeah, this is his son.
50:45
You know, don't make Michael grow up here.
50:47
It's not a beach town anymore. It's a sewer.
50:49
But it's my sewer, Jiminy.
50:51
And I love it. In six square blocks.
50:53
Everybody knows me. I got the whole town wired.
50:55
If I manage to get my face on TV a few times,
50:58
maybe I'll run for mayor or something.
51:01
But that's as far as I want to go because I was made for the sewer, baby.
51:04
And I am the king.
51:07
Yeah. Is I loved his character in the beginning.
51:10
He had just cool energy.
51:13
He was a slimeball, but he was never like a bad person.
51:17
He just wasn't on the level.
51:20
I don't know. He did shake down a Guzman for money
51:22
so he could like give him good.
51:26
Somebody's got to get paid.
51:27
But so he tries to make it.
51:28
I want my like twenty dollar tip.
51:30
Well, I don't think this is going to be a big surprise question,
51:33
but what movie moves on?
51:36
This is a prime category.
51:37
Oh, this is a we say that.
51:40
It's the end of fucking weird.
51:41
Yeah, this is our last five.
51:43
I think it has to be the weirder film.
51:45
Yeah, it does have to be that one is also the better film.
51:48
Willy's Wonderland.
51:50
Who we nailed that speaking together.
51:52
Well, like a dick suck a dick.
51:56
Last thoughts. No, suck a toe.
51:57
Oh, suck a toe.
51:59
Suck a toe. Suck a toe.
52:01
Suck a toe.
52:03
Sounds like that sounds like a town in Washington.
52:05
Suck a toe. Suck a toe.
52:07
Yeah. Well, fuck, man.
52:09
We did it.
52:10
We got through season one.
52:12
Thirty two whole episodes, baby.
52:13
Let's do it. So let's do it all again.
52:15
Yeah, absolutely. From the top.
52:18
Oh, God, no. Fuck you.
52:20
But yeah, thank you all for listening and stick with us for season two.
52:24
We're going to have a little bit of an interim.
52:26
I think what we're going to do is a bit of a wrap up episode.
52:30
I'm only mad about one movie.
52:32
Yeah, I know.
52:33
We're both mad that Primal didn't move on and it's a fucking shame.
52:37
It hurts. It hurts every day.
52:38
We'll figure out how to retcon it in the next episode.
52:42
We are also trying to record a special bonus episode for the retirement plan,
52:47
which was supposed to come out on the 28th of August
52:51
and now is coming out on the 15th of September,
52:54
maybe in theaters, maybe not.
52:56
We're going to find out.
52:57
We'll record something for that.
52:59
And then we've got a couple little one off episodes for you all
53:03
with some old friends of ours.
53:06
And beyond that, they tuned for season two.
53:09
Yeah.
53:10
Oh, I have a fun little anecdote for you today.
53:12
Yeah, please.
53:12
And my morning stand up, one of the members of the marketing team,
53:16
their theme was like, what is a brand you are loyal to?
53:19
And it came to me and I'm like, can a person be a brand?
53:22
And they're like, sure.
53:23
And I'm like, cool.
53:24
This won't surprise anyone on my team, but the rest of you,
53:26
I am the biggest Nick Cage fan and the man still puts out quality work
53:30
and I will watch anything he's in.
53:31
I thought you would have said like Kirkland Sparkle Buddies.
53:36
Yeah, this is sponsored by Kirkland brand Sparkle Buddies.
53:39
Speaking of, thank you for your support to our Sparkle Buddies,
53:44
Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam.
53:47
What was that thing you just did?
53:48
What? A segue?
53:50
I don't think that's right.
53:53
And to our cage dancers, I read John Freeman and Lance.
53:58
If anyone wants to support us on Patreon, we are available at Cage Match.
54:01
If you want to shoot the shit with us on Reddit or tell us that we're dumb,
54:05
which most people do, we are at Cage Match Pod.
54:08
And we're also on Instagram, Twitter, et cetera.
54:12
Find us. Look for Nick and Sean's faces.
54:15
You know them well.
54:16
Mm hmm. Thank you, everybody.
54:18
This has been a blast. Thank you for taking this ride with us.
54:20
It's not done. So don't give up on us.
54:22
Yeah, it sounds like we're all dying or something.
54:24
We might. We might be. I don't know.
54:26
A little. We're all dying.
54:27
Every day is a little closer to death.
54:29
You guys want to do a satanic cult? Yeah.
54:32
What are we trying to?
54:34
Oh, we're going to put ourselves into the mics
54:36
and then we'll will the mics to Hayden.
54:38
My soul is going to go into that lava lamp right there.
54:41
And it's just going to be like dick shapes all the time.
54:44
Oh, beautiful. Beautiful.
54:45
Yeah, I'm just looking around the room like there's a lot of options in here.
54:48
You say behind the lamp, that's cool.
54:50
Yeah. Oh, you wanted light, bitch.
54:53
Guess what?
54:55
Turning off.
54:56
You know, how did how did any ask that way?
54:58
People have to blow on me all the time.
55:01
It just an NES that moans.
55:04
Oh, bye bye.
55:08
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
55:13
Bye bye.