Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Who You Become After Pressure 2/7: Choosing Direction Before Certainty. You don’t need clarity to move forward, you need alignment. #TakeActionTuesday

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Who You Become After Pressure 2/7: Choosing Direction Before Certainty. You don’t need clarity to move forward, you need alignment. #TakeActionTuesday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay now, it is Tuesday, but not any just regular Tuesday.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is Take Action Tuesday here on the Sweet Spot, and I'm delighted that you're here with me.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host of The Sweet Spot.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoy talking to you.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is fun to talk to you every single day as we do here on the Sweet Spot.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is Take Action Tuesday, my friends.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we find ourselves launching into a series called Who You Become After Pressure.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Today's title is called Choosing Direction Before Certainty.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need clarity to move forward, you need alignment.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole message.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we can stop right there.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But beautiful souls, you know that we don't just stop right there, we add, we add, it's take action Tuesday, and we should be building on what we learned yesterday in making moves Monday.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday we said something that lands softly at first but then hits deep when you sit with it.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we said that pressure doesn't just test you, it changes you.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: That was our revelation.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: You hear a lot about pressure in the moment and handling pressure and managing pressure.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, all important.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But this series is much more about what happens to you after the pressure is hit and what the pressure is doing to you.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: So pressure doesn't just test you, it changes you.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that change really isn't a problem.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Today on Take Action Tuesday, it's about what happens next.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you accept that you're not the same anymore because of the pressure, your mind will immediately ask the next question.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Which is okay, okay, so now that I've changed, what do I do?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday in Making Moves Monday, it was all about orientation, realizing that you don't need to go backward, you don't have to go back to your old identity.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: We saw that yesterday.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because pressure gives you a new you.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Today is about movement, it's Take Action Tuesday.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: But let's be clear about one thing: this is not about frantic movement, this is not about desperate movement, which happens sometimes when people feel pressure because they change it into stress, right?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And anxiety.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, we said that pressure gives you an opportunity to figure out what the information is.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, this is take action Tuesday, but it's not about frantic take action Tuesday or desperate take action Tuesday.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is more about aligned movement.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the phrase I want you to remember that you want to have aligned movement, not frantic reactions.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: You want to align with your values, align with what you believe, align with your higher purpose, your higher power, align with what brings the best outcome.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Here's something people rarely hear, and they never hear it clearly anyway.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say it and hopefully we'll get it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna go through this slowly today.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us believe that clarity comes before action.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, I'll move when I understand what's going on.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'll take action when I feel confident.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'll take action, I'll act when I know the outcome.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Before I can take action, Dr.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, I need to understand what's happening.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've got to feel confident.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've got to know the outcome.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's true, but maybe not.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not at all.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because did you know that psychologically that kind of thinking is backwards?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: The brain organizes itself after you take the aligned action, not before.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's the crazy thing.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, when you wait for certainty, we know what happens.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system starts sticking itself in scanning mode, looking around, checking and double checking and triple checking and quadruple checking.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps searching for safety, for approval, and for guarantees before it can move.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: No bueno.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's the extent of my Spanish.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I really should do better.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: You definitely don't want your brain stuck in scanning mode, waiting for certainty before you act.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's when people actually freeze or they overdo things because they're in kind of panic mode, they burn energy trying to control everything, and then they mess up.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Movement doesn't require certainty.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know what it requires?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: A direction.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where pressure fools people.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Under pressure, the instinct is to do what?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do more.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I see it every day, all the time.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: I myself have made that mistake a thousand times.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Feel some pressure, do more.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: More effort, more talking, more proving, more running around, more explaining.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what happens if that effort isn't in alignment?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Effort without alignment doesn't free us, my friends.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Effort without alignment doesn't free you.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know what it does?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It exhausts you.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people aren't tired because they're weak.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: They're tired because they're pushing in 10 different directions at once.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been there?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever felt a bit frazzled because you're like all over the place, you're quote unquote multitasking?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, they say that's not the thing anymore.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's code switching or whatever the term is.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even sure.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's task switching, some other terms.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's always a new term.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: The bottom line is that you're tired because you're pushing in too many different directions at once.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to get a line, narrow the field.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Take action Tuesdays about narrowing the field when pressure is on, so that you can ask calmer questions, have a better vision, and say, don't say, like, what do I need to do to fix this whole thing?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Say what is one responsible step that fits who I who I am right now.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're being you're in evolution when you're under pressure, you're being changed, and you've got to step back and understand that.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't just say how can I fix everything?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, wait a minute, what's the next thing I can do that fits with who I am, what I believe, and what's right for me, what's right for the scenario, what's right for the scene right now.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you're an athlete who's lost a starting spot, for example, pressure panic says, train harder than everyone, prove everything at once, go deep, go long, go hard all at once.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Everything starts happening all at once.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing 50 different things.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: 50 different things because you've lost a starting spot or you heard some bad criticism or something like that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know what a more aligned approach would be?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let me master my preparation today.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let me control my response, my effort, and my professionalism.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Let me be clear on the things that matter and that will make me more efficient at what I do.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Big difference than launching 50 different things and doing them all at once.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, look, maybe you're under financial pressure.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: The panic mode, the sort of pressure panic mode will be like, let's solve everything at once.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let me get a loan, let me do this, let me do that.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's 50 things you do.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know what alignment will say?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let me make just one call.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let me stabilize one bill.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Let me take one step that I won't regret tomorrow.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: One wise thing, and let me do that well.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's more aligned than doing 40 things at once.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're recovering from an illness, you're grieving.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a hard road, and everybody's putting pressure on you, including you putting pressure on yourself to get normal again, to get back up.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: What's taking me so long?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, listen, we do the best we can in the state that we're in with what we have.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: We do the best we can with what we have.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your best right now is exactly where you are.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Our best is different when we're sick than when we're healthy.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Our best is different when we're happy and then when we're grieving.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to be patient with ourselves.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So alignment says don't judge yourself.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just say this.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let me choose one thing today that brings steadiness to my body, steadiness to my mind, and steadiness to my soul.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're not avoiding anything when you do that.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's not avoidance, that's sequencing.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about making sure you have the right sequence involved and not speeding to some outcome.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the message Bible, not the KJV, the message Bible.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: All my KGV people are like mad at me because I've been hitting the message Bible a little bit hard.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm definitely swing back around to this KJV.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: But look, the this the ancient wisdom, it just doesn't lie.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: It always supports us in this whole thing that we're doing, right?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're talking here about who you become after you feel pressure.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's the sequence I need to have in order to deal with this pressure that I'm feeling, right?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it that pressure creates this opportunity for me to be different?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And how do I deal with this?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: In the ancient wisdom, Elijah meets a widow who is literally gathering sticks for her final meal.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: She and her son are about to starve.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about tough times.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And Elijah, this prophet, he says to her, he tells her to give him, it's the strangest thing when you read it.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like he says to her, like, give me some water and some bread, and uh and and and we'll figure things out and things will work out for you.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's weird.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's but he's asking somebody who barely has anything to give him something.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And she only has like a handful of flour and a little bit of oil left.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: This woman, amazing woman, she obeys.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: She obeys and she says, Okay, and she does that.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And what I saw is that she she she got a miracle, like the handful of flour and the little oil.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: If if you read this, God somehow provides more for her as a result.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And she's blessed, she's blessed doubly.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Not only is she blessed in the moment for her just sort of her magnanimous behavior, she's also blessed later.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you read on in the ancient wisdom, when her son falls sick, and I think he dies even, and then she comes back to Elijah, and the son miraculously is restored.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: What is the point of this ancient wisdom?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here it is.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Under pressure, our instinct is often to do what?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Grab, hoard, react.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: But this ancient wisdom story models a different sequence.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: One there was a pause.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: The widow could have said to Elijah, Are you bugging your what are you have you lost your mind?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I barely have food.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And she could have shut the door in his face.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You want me to feed you?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I barely have food for myself.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, she hears his word as if it's from God.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: The jar of flour will not be spent and the jug of oil will not run dry.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: In pressure, the first move is not to act, but to clarify what is the true promise or principle here that I might be missing.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then, once you've paused and you've heard this, you act in faith.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: She goes ahead and she makes the meal first for herself, for Elijah, using the last bit of flour and oil before she sees the miracle.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Message under stress, sequencing means you do the next right thing, you take the next right step, obedience, generosity, integrity, whatever it is, even when you can't see the payoff.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: She couldn't see the payoff.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: But she did it anyway.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So she paused, she listened to the bigger promise, she knew there was a bigger promise, she believed it, she acted in faith when Elijah told her things are gonna work out, just feed me first.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then she trusted the process, not just the outcome.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: The miracle isn't a one-time jackpot, my friend.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a daily provision as long as you keep following your pattern of trust.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: What am I seeing?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Impressure.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sequencing is about your rhythm.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And the rhythm that this ancient wisdom was trying to tell us is listen as she did, surrender and obey to the moment as she did, receive, and then repeat.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Rather than trying to force a single fix and just take care of yourself and lock yourself down.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Later, her son dies.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't abandon her faith, she brings the crisis back to Elijah again, and he again turns to God for her.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: You see, in a high-stakes situation, the sequence always stays the same.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Face the emotion, bring it to your trusted source of wisdom and act in faith rather than in panic.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Face the emotion, bring it to a trusted source of wisdom, and then act in faith rather than in panic.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's the sequence.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're under pressure, my friend, whether I don't know what are you, an athlete, you're a doctor, a lawyer, a cop, I don't know what you are.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: All I know is that you're my friend.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking, me and you, we're just talking right now.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're under pressure or not, you face things and you know that pressure is real.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: You may not be having it right now, but you know the story that I just shared with you.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: You get it.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're under pressure, the story invites you, this ancient wisdom has invited us to think about something.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sequence your actions like this.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Clarify the core principle of promise.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do you believe?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: What is your value?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: What do you believe?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's the mission?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: What's the mission here?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I in this?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Clarify the core principle of promise.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Values, mission, faith, whatever it is.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Then take the next faithful step, even if it feels counterintuitive.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole idea with this woman.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: She shouldn't have done that.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like most of us will be like, nah, we're not doing that.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: But she made a counterintuitive step.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: You need to make a counterintuitive step after you've clarified your principle or your promise.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Check in with God, check in with your your your higher power, check in with your deeper purpose, your values, and then take a step.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's take action Tuesday.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about sitting around and praying all day.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's good, but you gotta get up, you gotta move.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Faith without works, dead.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So clarify your core principles, get the message straight, take a faithful step, and then trust that the jar and the jug of your energy, your time, and your influence, whatever it is that you have, will be sustained if you keep aligning with your higher principle.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, my friend, the widow and Elijah show us that under pressure, the most courageous sequence is to listen first, obey second, and then let God or your deeper purpose handle the math.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Listen first, clarify things, take action, obey, surrender, get into it, don't run away, and then let God or your deeper purpose or your deeper power, whatever it is that you believe, I believe in God, so that's what I do.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: You might have another belief, but whatever that is, let that handle the math.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense today on Take Action Tuesday, sweet spotter?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: We went in.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're going in here because you know what?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure is not about just what you handle in the moment, pressure is who you are, it clarifies who you are and what kinds of actions you're gonna take, and more than that, who you're going to be.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay, it's all good tomorrow.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Woo-hoo! Tomorrow is Win It All Wednesday, baby, and we're going in, we're going in even deeper.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, stay powerful, take action, figure out what pressure you're under, figure out what your sequence is gonna be, figure out who you are and whose you are, and I'll see you tomorrow.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is Dr.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, and you've been listening to the Sweet Spot.