Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / All of your questions answered ✨ (Brain surgery & Baseline)

Transcript

All of your questions answered ✨ (Brain surgery & Baseline) · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apodiae production.
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Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
0:13
Speaker 2: land on which we gathered today and pay our respects
0:16
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
0:19
Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
0:25
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
0:28
Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
0:31
Speaker 3: up together.
0:32
Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, com find the
0:34
Speaker 1: lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table
0:37
Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander.
0:43
Speaker 1: Hello guy, Hello, welcome back to another week of goo
0:47
Speaker 1: and Loo. Yeah, you're going a Share of the week.
0:51
Speaker 1: Do you want to go first? Sure? So my share
0:55
Speaker 1: of the Week.
0:56
Speaker 3: I actually wasn't intending to share, but I was talking
0:58
Speaker 3: to Actually about this on the drive up here and
1:00
Speaker 3: she was like, you need to share that.
1:01
Speaker 1: So I thought, all, it's perfecting share for the Share
1:03
Speaker 1: of the week because so many of our audiences are mums. Yes, definitely.
1:08
Speaker 3: So I don't know if you guys remember how I
1:09
Speaker 3: went through that phase with Reagan and I was explaining
1:12
Speaker 3: to ask how she's finally gotten out of this phase now.
1:14
Speaker 3: But every time I would like discipline her, she would
1:17
Speaker 3: laugh at me and I'll be like, no, Reagan. And
1:20
Speaker 3: we went through this whole battle with it. Anyway, She's
1:22
Speaker 3: coming out the other end, and now I'll be like,
1:23
Speaker 3: real girl, that's not nice. And she just turns to
1:26
Speaker 3: water and starts crying. And I said to Ash, she
1:28
Speaker 3: was like, I find it so much easier now she
1:30
Speaker 3: actually understands and comprehends what she's doing. But I said
1:33
Speaker 3: to her, what I do is say if she hits
1:35
Speaker 3: or hurts Miller or Lincoln, I actually walk over to
1:38
Speaker 3: Miller or Lincoln and I give them.
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Speaker 1: All of my attention.
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Speaker 3: So rather than turning and facing Reagan first or saying
1:44
Speaker 3: anything to her, I walk directly to Miller, and wherever
1:47
Speaker 3: she's been hit or hurt, I rub and I kiss
1:49
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh.
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Speaker 1: My gosh, Miller, baby, I'm so sorry. Are you feeling okay?
1:53
Speaker 1: I was like, that hurts when people hit you, doesn't it.
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Speaker 3: Miller and Reagan, what they're wanting in that moment is
1:59
Speaker 3: your attention. I reckon most of the time when they're
2:01
Speaker 3: lashing out like that, And then Reagan starts to cry
2:03
Speaker 3: and then she comes up and she's like.
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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry Miller.
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Speaker 3: She was like, Wow, it's such a cool idea to
2:09
Speaker 3: actually go to the one who's been hurt, rather than
2:12
Speaker 3: going directly to Reagan and saying Reagan, like, you know,
2:15
Speaker 3: it's not nice, we don't hit first, go to the
2:17
Speaker 3: person mirror. I guess as well, yeah, how you want
2:20
Speaker 3: them to react and respond, and then go to read
2:23
Speaker 3: like and what I say to her is, how can
2:24
Speaker 3: you do that differently last time? I know you're feeling frustrated.
2:26
Speaker 3: Maybe you can come ask mummy for help. Yeah, you know,
2:29
Speaker 3: ask Miller nicely, rather than whacking her in the head
2:31
Speaker 3: and saying help me.
2:33
Speaker 1: And I was saying, because Tyler's too so when she
2:36
Speaker 1: does something that's not nice and I try to explain
2:39
Speaker 1: that to her, she you just cris and screams. So
2:41
Speaker 1: then I'm spending the next like, you know, five ten
2:43
Speaker 1: minutes trying to coregulate and co see with her. Meanwhile,
2:47
Speaker 1: Taj is what sitting on the couch. He's been hurt.
2:50
Speaker 1: Safety's not there, He's just sitting by himself while I'm
2:52
Speaker 1: comforting her. But he's the one that got hurt. He's
2:55
Speaker 1: the one that got hurt. So when you said that,
2:56
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I definitely should be. I feel
2:58
Speaker 1: like attending to taj first, but I just think in
3:02
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, he's older, like he understands. She
3:04
Speaker 1: doesn't understand, so I go to her more. But I'm like,
3:07
Speaker 1: it would be a good way to show her, like, no,
3:09
Speaker 1: that's hurt Taje. You look how sad he is and
3:11
Speaker 1: he needs a cuddle, and then come back to her.
3:13
Speaker 1: I think it's a really good idea. I saw it
3:15
Speaker 1: somewhere one day.
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Speaker 3: It's probably one of those pages on Instagram, you know that,
3:20
Speaker 3: And yeah, soon I saw it, I was like, wow, yeah,
3:22
Speaker 3: I'm going to.
3:23
Speaker 1: Do way to handle it. Yeah, mine is something that
3:26
Speaker 1: I saw. It must have been a parenting page. But
3:28
Speaker 1: it's good old Brene Brown. I feel like it's in
3:30
Speaker 1: our parenting pages. I know, it's like my whole feed
3:33
Speaker 1: anything Brene Brown says. I'm just like, mic Job, you
3:37
Speaker 1: are amazing. I think she is such an incredible woman.
3:40
Speaker 4: One of the things that we talk a lot about
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Speaker 4: in our family with our kids, starting probably in third
3:44
Speaker 4: or fourth grade, when friendship stuff starts getting dicey, is
3:48
Speaker 4: candle blower outers and This is a big lesson that
3:51
Speaker 4: we teach our kids. We always say, you know, you've
3:54
Speaker 4: got this flame, and this is your spirit, and this
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Speaker 4: is your soul, and this is your light. And sometimes
4:01
Speaker 4: it'll shine really, really bright. And you want to surround
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Speaker 4: yourself with people who, when it's shining bright, think wow,
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Speaker 4: what a beautiful light. And you want to be the
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Speaker 4: type of friend that when people's lights.
4:13
Speaker 1: You know, when your.
4:14
Speaker 4: Friend's light is shining, you say, man, that's a great light.
4:17
Speaker 4: And you want friends who protect your light. We don't
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Speaker 4: want to surround ourselves with candle blower outers. How many
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Speaker 4: of you have had that experience. We want someone who
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Speaker 4: has room in their life for our light, because our
4:32
Speaker 4: light comes with us.
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Speaker 1: So beautiful, right, beautiful. You want to be around people
4:37
Speaker 1: that celebrate your light and say, wow, that's a beautiful light,
4:40
Speaker 1: rather than try and blow you out and put you
4:42
Speaker 1: down and park you to the side, or tell you
4:45
Speaker 1: you know, your light's not good enough. So cool, What
4:47
Speaker 1: a cool concept. It's a really cool way to explain
4:49
Speaker 1: to the kids. Yeah, keep your light and your fire going,
4:52
Speaker 1: don't ever let anyone blow you out. So cool, So cool.
4:55
Speaker 1: I love Brown, Yeah, I love her too. Well, today's
5:00
Speaker 1: episode is a Q and A based around Baseline and
5:04
Speaker 1: my surgery. Because after I put that episode out, it
5:08
Speaker 1: got more downloads than I think any other episode we've had,
5:11
Speaker 1: and my DM's been flighting. We put it into the
5:13
Speaker 1: forum and there's just a lot of other things to
5:15
Speaker 1: unpack around it, I suppose. So if you haven't listened
5:18
Speaker 1: to that episode, it's titled I Think Brain Surgery and
5:21
Speaker 1: closing down Bassline, listen to that one first and then
5:24
Speaker 1: come back and listen to this one. But we've got
5:25
Speaker 1: a list of questions that Kiara is gonna ask me.
5:27
Speaker 1: There's a couple of kyr at the end as well,
5:29
Speaker 1: so we're just gonna have a little chat about it all.
5:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, So first question is what's it been like not
5:36
Speaker 3: having Baseline.
5:38
Speaker 1: Oh, it's been amazing. Yes, it's been so nice. I
5:42
Speaker 1: do miss parts of it, Like I missed the design aspect,
5:45
Speaker 1: I missed the fittings, I miss the creativity of the
5:48
Speaker 1: photo shoots and like that was really fun. But like
5:52
Speaker 1: I said in that other episode, it's like twenty percent
5:54
Speaker 1: of it. I do not miss majority of it, and
5:58
Speaker 1: just the mental load, Like it's honestly what I thought
6:01
Speaker 1: about from the moment I woke up being all day
6:03
Speaker 1: at work, night time, when the kids went to bed,
6:06
Speaker 1: I just never stopped on the weekend. I was always
6:09
Speaker 1: just thinking about, like selling these clothes, and there was
6:12
Speaker 1: so much pressure on me too, because I had to
6:14
Speaker 1: support a team, and like you've got bills to pay
6:16
Speaker 1: and you're aways thinking ahead, Like honestly, my mental lobe
6:19
Speaker 1: was just too much so to not have that. I
6:22
Speaker 1: feel so much freer. I feel so much more relaxed,
6:24
Speaker 1: I feel so much more feminine. I'm so much more
6:27
Speaker 1: in touch with my emotions. I'm so much more calmer
6:30
Speaker 1: with my kids. I have so much more capacity and
6:33
Speaker 1: energy for them and for Steve, and which is a
6:35
Speaker 1: big reason why I close it down, because they are
6:38
Speaker 1: what's important to me. I was like, my values are
6:41
Speaker 1: not matching up how I'm living. I value health, freedom, time,
6:45
Speaker 1: my family, and Baseline's not giving me any of that.
6:48
Speaker 1: Why am I doing this so to be able to
6:50
Speaker 1: actually feel that now, it's really beautiful, that's so yeah,
6:54
Speaker 1: I kept.
6:55
Speaker 3: Saying to Ashi when she was like making this decision,
6:57
Speaker 3: and once you became really like okay with it, when
6:59
Speaker 3: you're like, no, I'm so ready, I was like just
7:01
Speaker 3: imagine your life in like six months from now, a
7:04
Speaker 3: year from now.
7:05
Speaker 1: Different it's going to be. And it's so exciting. It's
7:07
Speaker 1: so exciting and it's crazy. Like I walked in a girlfriend,
7:09
Speaker 1: na Dean's house and her and Tara were there, one
7:11
Speaker 1: of her girlfriends, and they were just like, there's just
7:14
Speaker 1: something different about you. It's like this whole energy. And
7:17
Speaker 1: Nadine's known me since I was fifteen, and so we've
7:20
Speaker 1: got a long standing friendship. She's been there through all
7:22
Speaker 1: the ups and downs, and she's like, I've just never
7:24
Speaker 1: seen you so relaxed, Like it's like this energy. It's
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Speaker 1: just like it's cool. I'm really excited for this next
7:29
Speaker 1: ashy and that's how I feel. And I know it's
7:32
Speaker 1: only going to get better and better. So it's very exciting. Yeap.
7:36
Speaker 3: What we always say like, once you've become aware, you
7:38
Speaker 3: haven't become unaware, and now you're like on this road,
7:41
Speaker 3: you're on.
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Speaker 1: Your feels so right.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, what's been one of the biggest things you've
7:45
Speaker 3: learned about yourself?
7:48
Speaker 1: How much I had a masculine shield protecting me, and
7:52
Speaker 1: how much working hard and achieving and proving and hustling
7:57
Speaker 1: was my coping mechanism to keep busy and not feel.
8:01
Speaker 1: And I think to a certain degree, I've allowed my
8:05
Speaker 1: self to feel and heal and get help on everything.
8:07
Speaker 1: But there's a certain level and point that you get
8:10
Speaker 1: to of like feeling that safety in your own body
8:13
Speaker 1: and feeling that sense of calm and really trusting. But
8:17
Speaker 1: when you're so busy all the time, you just can't
8:19
Speaker 1: access that kind of energy. You're in fight or flight,
8:23
Speaker 1: you're constantly on. Like, I've just learned how much I
8:27
Speaker 1: didn't allow myself to rest, and even now I have
8:29
Speaker 1: naps most days on the weekends when Tyler sleeps. I've
8:33
Speaker 1: told myself I'm not a napper, but I'm so exhausted,
8:36
Speaker 1: like I'm just allowing myself to rest, and just how
8:39
Speaker 1: much my body's needed this. There's been so many cool lessons,
8:43
Speaker 1: but yeah, I definitely think from not having a healthy
8:47
Speaker 1: masculine role model growing up. I put a masculine like
8:51
Speaker 1: shield and mask on because I was like, I don't
8:54
Speaker 1: need a man. I can do this by myself. I
8:56
Speaker 1: have to do this by myself. I've got to protect myself.
8:58
Speaker 1: I've got to stand on my own feet. I'm never
9:00
Speaker 1: gonna rely on anyone, and that just doesn't feel good
9:03
Speaker 1: for a feminine at her core. Still at the very
9:06
Speaker 1: beginning of my journey, but learning how to soften has
9:09
Speaker 1: been really cool.
9:10
Speaker 3: How cool, though, to be at the beginning of a
9:11
Speaker 3: new job.
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Speaker 1: I know, if I feel this good now, I can't
9:14
Speaker 1: imagine in six months time now. And I'm getting help
9:17
Speaker 1: for this. I've just hired a feminine coach, someone that
9:21
Speaker 1: embodies all of this. This is her niches, is her passion.
9:24
Speaker 1: She's lived, breathed, and gone through this herself, and I
9:27
Speaker 1: was so drawn to her. So I'm really excited to
9:29
Speaker 1: have her support through navigating this. Because I was talking
9:31
Speaker 1: to Megsy about it. How like you catch yourself going
9:35
Speaker 1: back into old patterns, You're like, oh, hang on, hang on.
9:38
Speaker 1: Like even cleaning yesterday, I had a beautiful day with
9:40
Speaker 1: the kids and then they were just playing and I
9:42
Speaker 1: wanted to, like clean my whole house. I love a
9:44
Speaker 1: clean environment. I stopped myself. I was like, are you
9:47
Speaker 1: doing this because you think you need to be busy
9:50
Speaker 1: and allowed to rest or? Are you doing this because
9:52
Speaker 1: you genuinely want a clean house? And I was like, no,
9:55
Speaker 1: I genuinely, like I have the energy and I feel
9:57
Speaker 1: like I just want to clean up my environment. But
9:59
Speaker 1: I think I've caught myself just like if I sit
10:01
Speaker 1: down and relax, Oh, I've got to do this, I've
10:03
Speaker 1: got to edit this, I've got to always on, there's
10:06
Speaker 1: always a to do list, and now I'm just like
10:08
Speaker 1: letting go more. And even how Nanny called in sick yesterday,
10:11
Speaker 1: and normally that would send me an aspiral, like it
10:14
Speaker 1: would put my work really far behind, especially when you've
10:16
Speaker 1: got a team to show up for, but without base on,
10:19
Speaker 1: I was like, ah, it's okay. Mainly if I can
10:22
Speaker 1: record those podcasts another time, I can have my meeting
10:24
Speaker 1: with my manager another day, and I get to have
10:26
Speaker 1: another day with my kids. And I just went with
10:28
Speaker 1: the flow, and it was so beautiful and so connecting,
10:30
Speaker 1: and there wasn't that pressure of having to show up
10:33
Speaker 1: and go on socials all day barely on my phone.
10:35
Speaker 1: It was so nice I can do that now, whereas yeah,
10:40
Speaker 1: back if we didn't have someone to watch the kids,
10:42
Speaker 1: and I'd be on my phone all day trying to
10:43
Speaker 1: keep up with the stuff and like what was going
10:45
Speaker 1: on at that point in time, And it just felt
10:46
Speaker 1: like I was giving everyone ten percent and I felt
10:49
Speaker 1: so shit. So that's been really cool. That's really cool.
10:53
Speaker 3: How does your work slash home life look and feel now?
10:57
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm still working, because I think a
11:00
Speaker 1: lot of people thought that once I closed down base
11:02
Speaker 1: on it just like not doing anything. But it's not
11:04
Speaker 1: like that. I actually have my toes dipped in quite
11:06
Speaker 1: a few different things. And I've always said this in
11:09
Speaker 1: the big episode too, but I've always wanted to help
11:11
Speaker 1: more with Hideaway, but I haven't had the capacity. My
11:13
Speaker 1: bandwidth was so stretched. It was like if Steve asked
11:16
Speaker 1: me to do something, I'm like, babe, I can't, Like,
11:20
Speaker 1: when am I going to do that? Whereas now I've
11:22
Speaker 1: been able to get on the creative side of things
11:24
Speaker 1: with Hideaway, all the marketing, the social media, the stuff
11:27
Speaker 1: that really lights me up and gets me in that
11:30
Speaker 1: really playful because feminine women were quite creative, but I
11:33
Speaker 1: felt like I lost a lot of that whilst running
11:35
Speaker 1: the business because it was so masculine. But now I
11:38
Speaker 1: get to be so feminine and playful and silly and
11:40
Speaker 1: fun and bring that into the work that really benefits
11:43
Speaker 1: a business. It's really helping our business. So I've been
11:45
Speaker 1: doing a lot of that and putting more time into
11:47
Speaker 1: thinking about grow and glow. But otherwise just more time
11:50
Speaker 1: with the kids and like more cooking and more cleaning
11:53
Speaker 1: and more nurturing my house, like my home and Steve
11:56
Speaker 1: and just I'm so much calmer with the kids. I'm
11:59
Speaker 1: so much calmer for them. I have more space for them,
12:02
Speaker 1: I've got more capacity. My tone has changed so much
12:06
Speaker 1: with how I speak to them. Not that it was
12:08
Speaker 1: ever really bad, but definitely if I was stretched, tired,
12:11
Speaker 1: or work was on my mind, which was you know,
12:14
Speaker 1: so often, I just felt like I was a bit
12:16
Speaker 1: more shorter with them, and little things would irritate me
12:19
Speaker 1: more because I was just stretched. Whereas now like I
12:22
Speaker 1: just flow more with them, and I've got just yeah,
12:25
Speaker 1: more space with them, which is so nice. They would
12:27
Speaker 1: feel that, They would definitely feel that. You definitely seem
12:30
Speaker 1: a lot more well regulated. So well regulated, Like you
12:34
Speaker 1: asked me this morning how I'm feeling about surgery, Like
12:36
Speaker 1: everyone keeps asking me, expecting me to be like so stressed,
12:39
Speaker 1: and I almost like I keep saying, I'm waiting for
12:41
Speaker 1: the anxiety to kick in, Like you guys are listening
12:43
Speaker 1: to this on Monday, Like I go into hospital this Wednesday.
12:47
Speaker 1: You can see I feel so calm. Yeah, I feel
12:49
Speaker 1: so good. I had to go to the hospital last
12:51
Speaker 1: week for like four hour appointment. They checked my heart,
12:53
Speaker 1: they checked my bloods. I spoke to the ansthesius person.
12:58
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's what you call them, the
13:00
Speaker 1: person that knocks you out. I got a full body
13:02
Speaker 1: check from a doctor. They asked a hundred million questions,
13:05
Speaker 1: and even that I just was like, I don't know.
13:06
Speaker 1: Just feel so trusting and I know that everything's just
13:09
Speaker 1: been so flowy and perfect and beautiful. So I just, yeah,
13:13
Speaker 1: I do feel really regulated. I think I'm tired. I
13:16
Speaker 1: feel like I manage stress very well, but my body
13:18
Speaker 1: still feels it. So I feel tired just from going
13:22
Speaker 1: through all of this. It's been a lot. Yeah, but
13:25
Speaker 1: I feel calm about it, and I just fully trust
13:27
Speaker 1: this is exactly my path. If I did not lose
13:29
Speaker 1: my sight, and if I did not find out I
13:31
Speaker 1: had a brain aneurism, would all of this be happening
13:34
Speaker 1: right now. I would have kept pushing. I would have
13:37
Speaker 1: kept pushing. There's no way I would have even considered
13:40
Speaker 1: that as an option. And how long have I been
13:42
Speaker 1: pushing for feeling like that probably a lot longer than
13:45
Speaker 1: what I want to admit, if I'm being completely honest. Yeah,
13:48
Speaker 1: I feel bad saying that because I had a team
13:51
Speaker 1: and like I did love parts of it, but I
13:53
Speaker 1: think I've been pushing for way longer than I would
13:55
Speaker 1: want to admit.
13:57
Speaker 3: What are the risks involved with you getting your surgery
14:00
Speaker 3: or not getting surgery?
14:02
Speaker 1: So the risks of not getting surgery is kind of
14:05
Speaker 1: walking around like a ticking time bomb at any point
14:08
Speaker 1: of time, and aneurism can burst. If it does, it's
14:12
Speaker 1: likely that you will die or you will stroke, and
14:17
Speaker 1: they're huge things. You could have just permanent brain damage.
14:20
Speaker 1: Your body does not function how I'm used to, so
14:24
Speaker 1: they're pretty scary things. So that's why they put it
14:27
Speaker 1: to me. When I went the second time they suggested surgery,
14:29
Speaker 1: I was like, but it's not big and like, you know,
14:32
Speaker 1: last time, you guys pretty much said I'll come back
14:34
Speaker 1: ever read once a year and just get it checked.
14:35
Speaker 1: And I was kind of shocked, and they said, just
14:37
Speaker 1: think of this like it's preventing that from happening if
14:40
Speaker 1: we can do something about it. And yes, yours is
14:42
Speaker 1: small earth than some, but it's big enough that it
14:46
Speaker 1: can still rupture, so why would you risk that going
14:50
Speaker 1: into surgery. There is still risks though. It's like one
14:53
Speaker 1: to two people in every hundred stroke on the table
14:56
Speaker 1: and one to two people on the table have a
14:59
Speaker 1: rupture on the table. But she said, if it's going
15:02
Speaker 1: to happen, you want it happening on the table because
15:04
Speaker 1: I'm right here, so I can prevent or lessen the
15:08
Speaker 1: damage that potentially could happen to you. Whereas if you're
15:11
Speaker 1: out shopping or at training and you have a bleed
15:15
Speaker 1: by the time you get to the hospital, it could
15:16
Speaker 1: be too late. The damage on your brain could be
15:19
Speaker 1: too far gone. So it's more risking not to get
15:23
Speaker 1: the surgery, Yes, especially when you've got so much more
15:25
Speaker 1: of your life to live. Yeah, like I'm only thirty
15:27
Speaker 1: five and I have two kids. But yeah, that's definitely
15:30
Speaker 1: the scariest thing about going in this week to surgery
15:33
Speaker 1: is like that thought of like I could wake up
15:35
Speaker 1: and I could have had a stroke, and I might
15:37
Speaker 1: not have access to be able to use my left
15:39
Speaker 1: arm and leg how I've always used it. I could
15:42
Speaker 1: wake up and have brain damage if it's bled. I
15:44
Speaker 1: don't know, like that is a possibility, So that's the
15:46
Speaker 1: scariest thing, is like, and Steve's been through this, so
15:49
Speaker 1: he said he remembers waking up. He was way more
15:51
Speaker 1: complicated than mine. He couldn't see for six weeks, so
15:53
Speaker 1: he woke up and he's just basically blind and every
15:56
Speaker 1: day he's waking up checking if he can see, and
15:58
Speaker 1: he can't see. So it's just six weeks is a
16:01
Speaker 1: long time as well to imagine, so might not just
16:04
Speaker 1: be waking up in like did everything go to plan?
16:06
Speaker 2: Like?
16:06
Speaker 1: Am I okay? That will be my first question? And
16:09
Speaker 1: then they said the day that I get surgery, I mean,
16:11
Speaker 1: ic you of twenty four hours, I have a nurse
16:13
Speaker 1: with me the whole time, and they wake you up
16:15
Speaker 1: every hour to like do test to make sure that
16:17
Speaker 1: your brain's working. And Steve's like, I remember that. So
16:20
Speaker 1: that would just be yeah, nerve racking, I suppose. But
16:23
Speaker 1: then once I get home, I think I'll be like cool,
16:25
Speaker 1: I'm all good, and then I just have to rest
16:27
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks.
16:28
Speaker 3: What were your weaknesses with running a business now? Reflecting back.
16:33
Speaker 1: Many I'm not good with finances. I'm not I hate it.
16:40
Speaker 1: I'm not good at it. It overwhelms me, I almost
16:42
Speaker 1: like just like turn a blind eye to it. Even
16:44
Speaker 1: with LEVI I would like try and explain things to me.
16:46
Speaker 1: I'm like, as long as you've got it covered, I
16:48
Speaker 1: really don't care. I don't want to not numbers, like
16:51
Speaker 1: it's not my driver. But when you run a business,
16:53
Speaker 1: you can't avoid that. You have to be involved in it.
16:56
Speaker 1: You have to understand it. I don't think I'm the
16:58
Speaker 1: greatest team leader really no, especially watching Steve. I'm too
17:05
Speaker 1: friendly and to buddy buddy and like fit around everyone
17:10
Speaker 1: else's schedule and like very flexible, which is great and
17:13
Speaker 1: I don't regret that, but it's almost like, where's the boundaries.
17:17
Speaker 1: I didn't set boundaries, and sometimes I think I felt
17:19
Speaker 1: a little bit taken advantage of, or just different situations
17:23
Speaker 1: which I won't go into because they're personal, but different
17:25
Speaker 1: situations where I'm like, whoa, if this was any other
17:27
Speaker 1: normal job, or I'd be like relaying the story to
17:29
Speaker 1: like you or Nadina or someone. They're like that doesn't
17:32
Speaker 1: fucking happen in a real job. You can't just not
17:34
Speaker 1: turn up or you can't just not do this. You know,
17:36
Speaker 1: there's just different situations. I was like, no, it's okay,
17:38
Speaker 1: Like I get it, but then the stress would be
17:40
Speaker 1: on me. So I just feel like I wasn't very
17:42
Speaker 1: good at separating friendship with work and worrying the different
17:46
Speaker 1: hats because I wanted to be liked, I wanted to
17:48
Speaker 1: be accepted. I wanted them to think I was a
17:50
Speaker 1: cool boss. I wanted them to love every moment at work.
17:53
Speaker 1: I really found that hard, where Steve was like, just
17:56
Speaker 1: you can't be that friendly like that, they're to do
17:58
Speaker 1: a job, blah blah. I know, but that's easy for
18:00
Speaker 1: a man to say. Like women, we connect, we talk.
18:03
Speaker 1: I genuinely care about these women. I want to know
18:05
Speaker 1: about their weekends. I want to know what's happening in
18:06
Speaker 1: their lives. I want them to be happy. I want
18:08
Speaker 1: to support them with their kids. I want to, you know,
18:10
Speaker 1: do all those things. But I think it, Yeah, it
18:12
Speaker 1: was just hard to manage, to be honest, I just
18:15
Speaker 1: don't think I was very good at And I watch
18:16
Speaker 1: how Steve manages his hideaway team, and he's so fucking
18:19
Speaker 1: good at it. Yeah, he's friends with them all and
18:21
Speaker 1: they all love and respect him, and they've got such
18:23
Speaker 1: great culture. Respect. That's a word too. When it gets
18:26
Speaker 1: too friendly.
18:27
Speaker 3: Sometimes it can blur the line of like respectfulness to your.
18:30
Speaker 1: Boss and you. And I think I noticed differently how
18:33
Speaker 1: they'd be around me compared to Stephen Levi. I was
18:36
Speaker 1: like their buddy that they felt so comfortable with, and
18:38
Speaker 1: it was just like a different energy. And I was like,
18:40
Speaker 1: this is my fault. Though I've set this up, so
18:42
Speaker 1: take full responsibility, but I'm just not very good at it.
18:44
Speaker 1: I'm not good at it, never have been. Yeah, I
18:46
Speaker 1: don't know how to draw those lines and put boundaries
18:48
Speaker 1: in so that was a massive weakness. When you can
18:51
Speaker 1: reflect back sometimes hey, I know, and I take full responsibility.
18:54
Speaker 1: This is not on my team, not at all. They
18:56
Speaker 1: were incredible staff members. They worked so fucking hard for
18:58
Speaker 1: the brand. And I'm talking like this isn't just the
19:01
Speaker 1: most recent period. Like remember I've been in business for
19:03
Speaker 1: fifteen years. My closest friends worked with me. I can't
19:07
Speaker 1: separate that, like I've been close with majority of them.
19:10
Speaker 1: Like it's such a hard thing. So this is not
19:12
Speaker 1: just speaking of recent staff members. This has gone on
19:14
Speaker 1: for the last fifteen years, and it's something Steve's always
19:17
Speaker 1: commented on.
19:19
Speaker 3: Aside from exercise, will you be changing up your health
19:22
Speaker 3: routine after surgery at all.
19:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I got all my blood's done with Levi,
19:26
Speaker 1: and I'm going through a big process with him, and
19:28
Speaker 1: he wants to do a lot of actual genetic testing.
19:31
Speaker 1: I think my brain aneurysm is hereditary and there's obviously
19:35
Speaker 1: genetic weaknesses, and because all the people on my father's
19:39
Speaker 1: side have either died from my aneurysm or they've got
19:42
Speaker 1: one and it's being monitored, so it's obviously runs my family.
19:45
Speaker 1: So he wants to actually put me on some supplements
19:47
Speaker 1: that will help strengthen my capillaries and my blood flow.
19:49
Speaker 1: We need to do some further testing on that. He
19:51
Speaker 1: wants to just investigate my genetic weaknesses more in depth.
19:56
Speaker 1: And I'm so lucky I've got him to be able
19:57
Speaker 1: to go thro because I wouldn't have a clue how
19:59
Speaker 1: to do any of this, and he's, you know, so
20:01
Speaker 1: supportive and wants to do that with me. So Yeah,
20:03
Speaker 1: there'll be different supplements that will probably take the rest
20:05
Speaker 1: of my life that will help hopefully lessen my chances
20:08
Speaker 1: of another aneurysm forming. Amazing because they have told me
20:11
Speaker 1: that it's quite likely another one will form by the
20:14
Speaker 1: time I die, okay, So Levi's like, let's do everything
20:17
Speaker 1: we can to stop that. Sorry, as exercise, exercise is
20:20
Speaker 1: good for me, I don't think that's something I will
20:22
Speaker 1: ever not do. And I eat a really well balanced diet,
20:25
Speaker 1: so nothing else will really change. But as I'm entering
20:27
Speaker 1: this softer season, I just think the more resting and
20:30
Speaker 1: not being hustling and going and stressing all the time,
20:33
Speaker 1: I think naturally I'm just going to feel more calmer
20:36
Speaker 1: and healthier. And even like this last couple of months,
20:39
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm definitely more inflamed. My skin's broken out,
20:43
Speaker 1: my skin's more oily. I definitely feel my digestic system
20:45
Speaker 1: isn't the best at the moment, and I really do
20:47
Speaker 1: put it down to stress, like stress is just like
20:51
Speaker 1: a killer. Yeah. And like I said, I'm feel regulated,
20:54
Speaker 1: but my body is showing symptoms of just like yeah, inflammation,
20:57
Speaker 1: And I'm not allowed to take any of my supplements
20:59
Speaker 1: at the moment either, can't take tumeric, magnesium, zinc all
21:02
Speaker 1: my stuftimes to stop it three weeks up to it,
21:05
Speaker 1: which is huge for me. I've taken supplements all the time,
21:08
Speaker 1: so I just don't feel as good. So I'm looking
21:10
Speaker 1: forward to after surgery obviously being put to sleep and
21:14
Speaker 1: like antibiotics and anything that put me on, my gut's
21:16
Speaker 1: going to be completely torn to shreds. So I'm gonna
21:19
Speaker 1: have to start a whole like gut protocol, do a
21:21
Speaker 1: full course of probotic, lots of broths out glued. Am
21:25
Speaker 1: I just really trying to rebuild my gut lining and
21:27
Speaker 1: even leave I setup to surgery, which I would have
21:29
Speaker 1: naturally done anyway as well. Was like broth soups, just
21:32
Speaker 1: things that are really easily broken down in your system.
21:35
Speaker 1: So no like red meats or anything. Slow cook stuff
21:38
Speaker 1: would be really good just so your body doesn't have
21:40
Speaker 1: to work to digest it. You want to kind of
21:42
Speaker 1: give your stomach a lot of rest time. So quite
21:45
Speaker 1: a process after that. Yeah, okay till I'm feeling good again.
21:48
Speaker 3: Do you know how long you'll be unable to exercise
21:50
Speaker 3: for and how will you navigate that given it's so
21:54
Speaker 3: important to you.
21:55
Speaker 1: So I will probably be having four weeks in total
21:58
Speaker 1: off and then easing back in with like walking and
22:02
Speaker 1: then just lightweights and build myself up after that, And
22:05
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. I think rest is not spoken
22:08
Speaker 1: about enough, especially after surgery. I'm not going to go
22:10
Speaker 1: be silly and go lift weights or go for a
22:12
Speaker 1: run or anything.
22:13
Speaker 3: Like.
22:13
Speaker 1: My body needs the rest to recover, So I'm excited
22:16
Speaker 1: for the rest time, to be honest, and I feel
22:18
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to feel any guilt about it.
22:20
Speaker 1: Like I can't wait to lay around the house and
22:21
Speaker 1: just not have anything to do. It's what my mind
22:23
Speaker 1: and body needs. Lap it up while you actually have. Yeah,
22:26
Speaker 1: this whole thing, I think the universe was like shaking
22:30
Speaker 1: me up to force me to slow down. And it's
22:32
Speaker 1: got to the point that I didn't listen to all
22:34
Speaker 1: the signs and signals and messages. Then now it's forced
22:37
Speaker 1: me to do it through surgery. I'm not going to
22:39
Speaker 1: ignore that anymore. No, I will listen to all the
22:41
Speaker 1: symptoms my body gives me and know that they're there
22:44
Speaker 1: for a purpose.
22:45
Speaker 3: So, yeah, how did you explain the surgery to Taj
22:50
Speaker 3: and how has he reacted to it?
22:52
Speaker 1: Taj is very emotionally intelligent, Like we even had a
22:55
Speaker 1: meeting with his teacher at the end of term last
22:57
Speaker 1: term and she said he's just well beyond his years
23:00
Speaker 1: the way he can articulate his emotions. So I just
23:05
Speaker 1: spoke to him like I would you. Yeah, I fully
23:07
Speaker 1: explained it, and he's like, I'm going to miss you
23:11
Speaker 1: when you're in hospital. A couple of little comments like that,
23:13
Speaker 1: but overall he's pretty good about it. We will need
23:16
Speaker 1: to get the kids checked. That's tricky because I was
23:20
Speaker 1: trying to explain the MRI machine and he was like,
23:22
Speaker 1: I'm not going in there. So that's going to be
23:24
Speaker 1: tricky to navigate. Obviously, you can sedate your kids and
23:28
Speaker 1: give them things to calm them down, but I just
23:29
Speaker 1: don't want it it to be a traumatic experience in
23:32
Speaker 1: case like he's going to have to have these later
23:34
Speaker 1: on in life. So I'm not sure how ill navigate that.
23:37
Speaker 1: There maybe have to be some sort of bribery.
23:40
Speaker 3: Yeah.
23:43
Speaker 1: I don't use it often, but if you do this,
23:45
Speaker 1: I will buy you whatever nerve gud you want, honestly,
23:49
Speaker 1: So I think we'll use some bribery just to make
23:51
Speaker 1: it a fun, exciting experience incentive. Yeah, he loves staying
23:56
Speaker 1: in high rise buildings, and maybe we'll say, if we
23:58
Speaker 1: do this, we'll go to have a night, you know,
24:00
Speaker 1: at Q one or whatever. So I think if we
24:02
Speaker 1: make it fun for him. I think that will be
24:05
Speaker 1: the way to get through it. And then I'm not
24:06
Speaker 1: sure about Tyler. It's just so little. But yeah, we
24:10
Speaker 1: definitely need to get them checked. Both Steve and I
24:11
Speaker 1: are having them. Steve's my hereditary. He hasn't had any
24:14
Speaker 1: in his family, but mine is Steve's just because you
24:17
Speaker 1: both have, the likelihood is pretty high.
24:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you get them checked now, right, and then
24:24
Speaker 3: it need to be consistent thing because they can just
24:26
Speaker 3: form at anytime.
24:27
Speaker 1: So I'll get checked three months post surgery, six months
24:30
Speaker 1: post surgery, twelve months post surgery, and then every year
24:33
Speaker 1: after that, yeah, the rest.
24:34
Speaker 3: Of me, and then the same for the kids. Right,
24:35
Speaker 3: Like if they got checked there, maybe in a couple
24:38
Speaker 3: of years.
24:39
Speaker 1: If they get checked and there's nothing there, I think
24:41
Speaker 1: it'll be like every five years. Yeah it won't.
24:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you feel already more feminine or how is
24:47
Speaker 3: that journey going?
24:48
Speaker 1: So much? So? But I also feel like I'm just
24:51
Speaker 1: at the start, Like I definitely feel so much more.
24:54
Speaker 1: But when I listen to podcasts or like talk about
24:57
Speaker 1: these conversations with my girlfriends, I'm like far out of it.
24:59
Speaker 1: A long way to go, but I'm really excited for
25:01
Speaker 1: that that used to be quite daunting for me. But
25:04
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm like just scratching the service
25:06
Speaker 1: at the moment and still learning about it all. And
25:08
Speaker 1: that's why I've hired a coach, Like I've invested in,
25:10
Speaker 1: like paying a lot of money to have a coach,
25:12
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I want to really understand all of
25:15
Speaker 1: this and then really embody it and have the accountability
25:18
Speaker 1: of someone like being there to do it with me,
25:21
Speaker 1: because it's one thing to understand it, but are you're
25:23
Speaker 1: actually practicing it? This is going to take a lot
25:25
Speaker 1: of conscious practice. This is something I'm implementing every single
25:30
Speaker 1: day from the way I moved, the way I talk.
25:32
Speaker 1: Even yes Iday grocery shopping and I find myself like
25:34
Speaker 1: rushing around like getting it all done. I was like, oh, girl,
25:38
Speaker 1: just take a breath. If I can love grocery shopping,
25:40
Speaker 1: why am I rushing this. There's no need to rush
25:44
Speaker 1: through the aisles. I like looking at all the products
25:46
Speaker 1: and just taking my sweet ass time, especially with no
25:48
Speaker 1: kids with kids, so just like court myself, I'm so
25:53
Speaker 1: used to rushing and getting as much done in my
25:55
Speaker 1: day as I can. I was like, no, then take
25:57
Speaker 1: my time. Yeah, even at the Place Center. Yes, they
25:59
Speaker 1: took the kids at the Place Center. God, that place
26:02
Speaker 1: is overwhelming the same breath. I was like, who cares.
26:07
Speaker 1: Just go with it. You've got nowhere to be. There's
26:09
Speaker 1: no rush. They want to play over here, they want
26:12
Speaker 1: to stop for a snack. Cool where was Normally I'd
26:14
Speaker 1: be like, hey, we've got forty five minutes, we're getting out,
26:16
Speaker 1: We're getting this done. You know. I'm just trying to
26:19
Speaker 1: really slow everything down. And the more I do that,
26:22
Speaker 1: the calm I feel, The more in tune I feel
26:24
Speaker 1: with myself, more nurturing I am to them, and more creative.
26:28
Speaker 1: I am so creative and hideaway now, and like even
26:31
Speaker 1: just my content, I'm loving creating cool content that's so
26:34
Speaker 1: authentic to me, whereas I think I was creating it before.
26:37
Speaker 1: With I had to think about selling a product. I
26:40
Speaker 1: had to sell baselines, so I had to base my
26:42
Speaker 1: content around my brand, and yeah, that was fun, It's
26:45
Speaker 1: not bad. But now my content is just literally what
26:48
Speaker 1: I'm feeling, whether it's something funny with Steve, whether it's
26:52
Speaker 1: like cute moments with my kids. There's no pressure anymore.
26:54
Speaker 1: Like what you see is exactly what I'm going through.
26:56
Speaker 1: And this just feels so nice. Yeah, So definitely flowing
27:01
Speaker 1: a lot more. But I can't wait to have this
27:04
Speaker 1: conversation six months. It's time and to just yeah see
27:08
Speaker 1: where I'm at. Yeah, it's exciting.
27:10
Speaker 3: I even feel like, you know, sometimes we talk about
27:11
Speaker 3: like reflecting back on old episodes. Yeah, Like I feel like,
27:14
Speaker 3: especially this journey, how we're both kind of like really
27:16
Speaker 3: slowing down. We'll be looking back on time and be like, wow, girl,
27:20
Speaker 3: take a chill.
27:21
Speaker 1: But I feel like you and I even talking slower.
27:24
Speaker 1: You go back a year ago, people used to think
27:26
Speaker 1: we were on fast forward, Like we talk so fast
27:29
Speaker 1: and we get excited, and I think we'll always have
27:31
Speaker 1: moments like that, but I think overall runs. Yeah, you
27:37
Speaker 1: guys will hear that we've just slowed down how we talk,
27:40
Speaker 1: and that just feels nicer because it's Yeah, it's a
27:43
Speaker 1: more calming energy too. Yeah. The empowered feminine. She is soft,
27:47
Speaker 1: she's flowing, she's surrendering, she's open, she's magnetic. It's not forced,
27:52
Speaker 1: it's not structured, it's not rushing. It's the opposite of that.
27:56
Speaker 1: And it's so cool to embody more of that. But
27:58
Speaker 1: it takes practice, definitely, Yeah, do.
28:01
Speaker 3: You have any advice for people navigating a similar health situation.
28:05
Speaker 1: I've actually been asked this a lot, and a lot
28:07
Speaker 1: of people are going through similar and just like an
28:10
Speaker 1: anxious wreck. They're so scared, and I get it. It
28:13
Speaker 1: is so scary, but I don't know. It sounds so simple.
28:17
Speaker 1: I truly just do have this inner trusting and knowing
28:19
Speaker 1: that it's going to work out exactly how it's meant to.
28:22
Speaker 1: And I think when you try and force things to
28:25
Speaker 1: be a certain way, or you're expecting or hoping, or
28:27
Speaker 1: like you're just manifesting, creating so much more stress, you're
28:31
Speaker 1: almost putting yourself through something twice, putting yourself through something
28:34
Speaker 1: that isn't even your reality yet. Like I'm not going
28:37
Speaker 1: to put myself and put my energy, put my body
28:39
Speaker 1: through that that it might not even happen. Just trust it,
28:42
Speaker 1: go with the flow. And yes, I'm still scared, but
28:45
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just really know this is my
28:48
Speaker 1: path and I'm also really grateful for it. If I
28:50
Speaker 1: didn't know this, it could rupture tomorrow and I might
28:52
Speaker 1: not be here. And there's also so many people that
28:55
Speaker 1: have so much worse off things, like I'm grateful I
28:57
Speaker 1: get to have surgery for an hour or two, go
29:00
Speaker 1: home after three nights, and some people on the hospital
29:02
Speaker 1: for six months. I can do this. This isn't what
29:06
Speaker 1: a lot of people have to go through like this
29:07
Speaker 1: seems small in comparison. I don't know if that's healthy
29:11
Speaker 1: or not. But I've always coped well with going through
29:13
Speaker 1: hard at times, knowing that it could be so much worse.
29:16
Speaker 1: It helps bring gratitude into your situation rather than going
29:19
Speaker 1: in the spiral of victim. It really does. Yeah, yeah, Do.
29:24
Speaker 3: You think you would still have made the decision to
29:26
Speaker 3: close Baseline if you didn't have a health scare?
29:29
Speaker 1: Oh, I've toyed on this. I don't know. I don't
29:39
Speaker 1: think so so bad to say, isn't it. I don't
29:42
Speaker 1: want to label it, but I think I would have
29:44
Speaker 1: kept pushing. Like I said in that big episode, it's like,
29:48
Speaker 1: never give up. Be tough times, but you gotta keep going.
29:51
Speaker 1: You got responsibilities, Like you know, this is just part
29:54
Speaker 1: of business. It's not always going to be good. Could
29:57
Speaker 1: take the good with the bad. They're the kind of
29:59
Speaker 1: things that I would say to myself. It would have
30:01
Speaker 1: taken a lot to do it, and it would have
30:03
Speaker 1: been way more. I don't know, harder and painful. I
30:06
Speaker 1: felt like this was just the universe kind of sending
30:09
Speaker 1: you on your path. Yeah. Yeah, like even when I
30:12
Speaker 1: owned the gym, I kept that two years longer than
30:14
Speaker 1: what I should have. My ego kept me there. Yeah,
30:17
Speaker 1: but I don't know, do you reckon I would have.
30:20
Speaker 1: I'm not sure from the outside. I wasn't enjoying it
30:22
Speaker 1: for a while.
30:23
Speaker 3: I think you might have eventually, but I think he
30:27
Speaker 3: would have rain yourself to the ground before you did.
30:31
Speaker 1: I was exhausted. You were exhausted, and I was hating
30:33
Speaker 1: it and I felt so stark. Yeah, but I just
30:37
Speaker 1: kept powering on. I noticed myself like just I don't know,
30:40
Speaker 1: trying to numb out like I would scroll more. I
30:43
Speaker 1: was eating more, keeping more busy because I just didn't
30:46
Speaker 1: want to stop and think about it. I wasn't coping.
30:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, life had your back, Life had my back, that's
30:52
Speaker 3: for sure. It's crazy, hey, and like, it's such a
30:56
Speaker 3: not great situation to obviously be in. But the amount
31:00
Speaker 3: it's already transformed your life and it hasn't even happened yet.
31:03
Speaker 3: I know, nothing actually physically changing your body.
31:06
Speaker 1: What a gift. I know, how crazy is that. You
31:08
Speaker 1: know what would have been really stressful is having to
31:10
Speaker 1: go through the surgery and then come back to the
31:12
Speaker 1: business like I just oh, I don't. I don't have
31:16
Speaker 1: the capacity for that. I wouldn't have even been able
31:19
Speaker 1: to rest in recover. I would have been so much
31:20
Speaker 1: more stress this whole time. Sometimes you have to let
31:23
Speaker 1: go of something to create the space. Something had to give,
31:26
Speaker 1: Something had to give. I couldn't imagine going to the
31:28
Speaker 1: surgery while still running back. No imagine either. It's a
31:32
Speaker 1: huge business too, like to come out of that Nahn,
31:36
Speaker 1: that would not have been nice.
31:37
Speaker 3: And even like you said, the lead up beforehand, being
31:39
Speaker 3: in that sort of mental state and having nowhere near
31:43
Speaker 3: the amount of calm energy that you have right now.
31:45
Speaker 1: I would have been so anxious. I reckon that'd be
31:47
Speaker 1: a completely different energy. That's been the gift in it.
31:49
Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, will you continue to do the ultimate girl's
31:53
Speaker 3: day out or will you take a step back from that?
31:55
Speaker 1: Definitely continue to do those. We love them, and anyone
31:59
Speaker 1: that's been you would see that. Like Levi and I
32:01
Speaker 1: are such a good team. But he is the masculine,
32:02
Speaker 1: I'm the feminine. He leads, Yeah, he really does run
32:05
Speaker 1: a lot of that day. I'm there for all of it,
32:07
Speaker 1: but he's more like the leader in it. I'm more
32:10
Speaker 1: the nurturer. I'm the one that goes around and like
32:12
Speaker 1: talks to all the girls and holds them and cuddles them,
32:14
Speaker 1: and like I'm that person for them on that day,
32:17
Speaker 1: which is just so beautiful. Lights me up. Like those
32:19
Speaker 1: days literally are seventeen hour days for us. By the
32:22
Speaker 1: time we get up, go and set up, by the
32:25
Speaker 1: time the girls go home and we pack it all down,
32:26
Speaker 1: it's a seventeen hour day on our feet, energy out
32:31
Speaker 1: and I go home and I'm full of beans. Yeah,
32:33
Speaker 1: that's how you know what you're doing. Your love is right,
32:36
Speaker 1: so aligned, so well aligned. And the contrast of that
32:40
Speaker 1: to baseline once again, it was like, this is not
32:43
Speaker 1: serving me anymore. Does not light me up with something
32:45
Speaker 1: like this. I'm like, oh, same with this. I don't
32:48
Speaker 1: know if you've noticed, but when we have guests on
32:50
Speaker 1: or people ask like how many episodes we do and
32:52
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, we do, you know, six on the
32:54
Speaker 1: Thursday and on the Friday, Oh my god, Like do
32:56
Speaker 1: you that many? Yeah? And I look at them like yeah,
32:59
Speaker 1: but we're just chatting we're two best friends. We have conversation.
33:04
Speaker 1: It's beautiful, such a beautiful It is not training. If
33:06
Speaker 1: it was training, we would not we wouldn't be still
33:08
Speaker 1: doing it.
33:08
Speaker 3: It wouldn't be able to do that many of its training.
33:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, no way worries. When I used to run my
33:12
Speaker 1: own podcast and do one guest by myself, I was wiped. Yeah,
33:16
Speaker 1: so drained from like setting up the podcast and like
33:19
Speaker 1: making sure the sounds all good to the Nah no
33:23
Speaker 1: wonder only did like twenty something episodes. I just hated it. Yeah,
33:26
Speaker 1: and that's when when I came to you, like, see
33:28
Speaker 1: if you want to do this podcast with me, I
33:30
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to do any of the logistics,
33:32
Speaker 1: Like that takes away all the fun, all the good energy,
33:37
Speaker 1: all the creativity. It just wipes it from me. But yeah,
33:40
Speaker 1: the Ultimate Girl's day Out, like I just love them.
33:42
Speaker 1: We actually want to do some different style retreats next year,
33:45
Speaker 1: some that involve the kids as well, So we've got
33:48
Speaker 1: some cool ideas. But the Ultimate Girl's Day Out will
33:51
Speaker 1: be staying live. I wants to change the name though,
33:53
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, I don't know. He just doesn't like
33:56
Speaker 1: the name The Ultimate Girl's Day out. I think it
33:58
Speaker 1: just encompasses everything that it is and it is the
34:01
Speaker 1: ultimate so much girls day out, Like yeah, and I
34:05
Speaker 1: was like, I'm open to it, but I don't know
34:07
Speaker 1: what he'd call it.
34:07
Speaker 3: It'd be interested to see what he changes it. I
34:10
Speaker 3: know a name that embodies it all.
34:13
Speaker 1: I would also love to work with some more men.
34:16
Speaker 1: I think men need some more healthy, soft feminine energy,
34:20
Speaker 1: and I would love to be holding space for men
34:23
Speaker 1: as they go through a transformative day like the ultimate
34:25
Speaker 1: girl's day out. Yes, I don't know how that looks
34:27
Speaker 1: right now. I just sent ly by a bunch of
34:29
Speaker 1: waste messages one day and I was like, I don't
34:30
Speaker 1: know how this looks and feels to you, but I'm
34:33
Speaker 1: feeling this pool of wanting to work and hold space
34:35
Speaker 1: for men out. I don't know what it is. I
34:38
Speaker 1: just really love me more now. Men need more support.
34:43
Speaker 1: The more support they can get, you know. Yeah, And
34:45
Speaker 1: it's healthy for us to be around healthy masculine but
34:48
Speaker 1: it's also really beautiful for them to be around soft
34:51
Speaker 1: feminine because that's when they open up, when they release
34:53
Speaker 1: and may be vulnerable. I just think that's so beautiful.
34:56
Speaker 1: So I don't know what we'll do with it. But
34:57
Speaker 1: I just said, I'm just throwing this out to you.
34:59
Speaker 1: Let's have a day where we get out of white
35:01
Speaker 1: butt and explore different options. So yeah, I definitely want
35:04
Speaker 1: to lean more into do more retreats. That's so cool.
35:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, exciting and yeah, just doing all the things that
35:08
Speaker 3: feel right. Yes, well aligned, light you up, aren't.
35:11
Speaker 1: Raining of your energy, they're boosting that energy. And it's
35:14
Speaker 1: like when you close one door, you open up. I
35:16
Speaker 1: feel like five more.
35:18
Speaker 3: Especially wanted to spass so much, Yeah, taking out so
35:20
Speaker 3: much peper.
35:21
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, like as I said to Leve, I like,
35:23
Speaker 1: I'm not attached to anything, like whatever is meant to
35:25
Speaker 1: come fa us and I'm open to any ideas. If
35:27
Speaker 1: it feels right, let's lean in. If it doesn't feel right, yeah, yeah,
35:32
Speaker 1: So Ultimate Girl's out and next one is August eleventh
35:35
Speaker 1: in Brisbane. So's steal some tickets to that. If you
35:37
Speaker 1: want to come along, leave the link in the show
35:39
Speaker 1: notes below. But yeah, I'm excited for that.
35:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's honestly such an incredible day.
35:42
Speaker 1: Yeah.
35:44
Speaker 3: Curious whether anything from the baseline closure episode sat with
35:47
Speaker 3: Kiara and will she implement anything similar or she ever
35:51
Speaker 3: considered a similar path around closing Love Ellis Rose. Well,
35:55
Speaker 3: I feel like you've probably noticed over the last three years,
35:59
Speaker 3: I've drastically changed the.
36:00
Speaker 1: Way that I've actually done stuff with Love Ellis Row
36:02
Speaker 1: so much.
36:03
Speaker 3: We I gave so much of my time and my
36:06
Speaker 3: effort and my energy into Love Ellis Rose. And really,
36:10
Speaker 3: as soon as I started on my healing journey, probably
36:12
Speaker 3: two years ago, it made me kind of realize what
36:14
Speaker 3: was important, and I've changed everything drastically. We used to
36:17
Speaker 3: have a shop that we ran. I was in there
36:19
Speaker 3: every single day. I did huge days. Kurt and I
36:22
Speaker 3: were up most nights, like with suppliers, had a whole
36:25
Speaker 3: garage full of stock, plus a shop full of stock,
36:28
Speaker 3: and it was great. It was fulfilling, it was amazing.
36:31
Speaker 3: But when I started to do this work, I realized that,
36:35
Speaker 3: you know, I can't be working that hard and that
36:38
Speaker 3: much and also work on myself at the same time.
36:41
Speaker 1: I just couldn't.
36:42
Speaker 3: So over the years, I've drastically pulled back on what
36:45
Speaker 3: I've done with Love Els Rose, and now it's not
36:47
Speaker 3: a burden at all.
36:48
Speaker 1: I love it.
36:49
Speaker 3: It feels beautiful, it feels so well aligned. I just
36:51
Speaker 3: get to pick what stock that I like Kurtie and
36:53
Speaker 3: I shoot the photos. It's really flowy and really easy,
36:57
Speaker 3: and it feels really beautiful right now in this season.
37:00
Speaker 3: Kurt loves it. He loves every aspect of it. It's
37:03
Speaker 3: so funny. He loves photography. Yeah, he loves like doing
37:05
Speaker 3: all the website.
37:06
Speaker 1: The like, Yeah, all the bits and pieces. I love
37:08
Speaker 1: this about your business because not many business like I
37:11
Speaker 1: did not have that in baseline. But if you want
37:13
Speaker 1: it to be busier, you can order more stock. And
37:14
Speaker 1: if you want it to be quiet, you don't order
37:16
Speaker 1: as much. You'll take it easy, like you literally have
37:18
Speaker 1: full control week to week on what you do. It's
37:20
Speaker 1: even fucking cool.
37:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, even some weeks we won't even order stock. I'll
37:23
Speaker 3: be like, oh, let's just like, you know, if we
37:24
Speaker 3: had a you know, big sale or something okay for
37:27
Speaker 3: the next week or two, like we've just been working
37:29
Speaker 3: off our feet, let's take a step back. Kids are
37:30
Speaker 3: on holidays, let's not order any new stock. So yeah,
37:33
Speaker 3: it's in a really good flexible spot right now. And
37:36
Speaker 3: I think, like Kurt and I go back and forth like, oh,
37:38
Speaker 3: it was so like nice, And especially Kurt, I think
37:40
Speaker 3: he's driven to do a little bit more with it,
37:43
Speaker 3: which I think he will probably lean back into, especially
37:46
Speaker 3: as the kids get a little bit older. But yeah,
37:49
Speaker 3: it feels really nice right now. There's no stress with it.
37:52
Speaker 3: It's beautiful, it's well aligned, and yeah, I think it's honestly,
37:56
Speaker 3: it's just not a burden at all. Like it's not
37:58
Speaker 3: something where I'm like, oh my gosh, this is stressing me.
38:00
Speaker 3: I feel like, if anything, I go back and forth
38:02
Speaker 3: with YouTube, it takes up a lot of my time.
38:04
Speaker 3: Like what it always COMESU do for me is like, Okay,
38:06
Speaker 3: how much time does it take out of my week?
38:09
Speaker 3: Which for you baseline was huge as well. How does
38:11
Speaker 3: my energy feel afterwards? And I love filming when I've
38:14
Speaker 3: got the energy and the capacity. I don't love editing anymore.
38:17
Speaker 3: I'm not learning like I've been doing editing now. Honestly,
38:20
Speaker 3: for like eight years before I were on YouTube, I
38:22
Speaker 3: used to do it for people. So I feel like
38:24
Speaker 3: I've learned as much as I want to learn. And
38:26
Speaker 3: now that I'm learning so much more about like self
38:28
Speaker 3: development all these other things, it's more aligned with me.
38:31
Speaker 3: So I'm not getting the same fulfillment out of it
38:33
Speaker 3: as I was. So I think eventually I'll just upload
38:35
Speaker 3: a youtubedeo when I want.
38:35
Speaker 1: To upload it.
38:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, no, I think otherwise. I feel really
38:40
Speaker 3: good right now with where I'm at and what I'm doing,
38:42
Speaker 3: and I feel really lucky that I can kind of
38:44
Speaker 3: you know, ebb and flo out of what feels good
38:46
Speaker 3: overall compared to how it was like three years ago.
38:49
Speaker 1: Holy shit, Like I look back, I Curt now up
38:51
Speaker 1: to midnight doing stuff.
38:53
Speaker 3: We were like, yeah, it was crazy and like, yeah,
38:55
Speaker 3: we were making a lot of money, but sometimes it's.
38:57
Speaker 1: Like is it worth at what cost? What cost? Yeah?
39:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like even time for us to have quality
39:04
Speaker 3: time together and that like there was just no room
39:06
Speaker 3: for that. And now I feel like the balance is
39:08
Speaker 3: so much nicer.
39:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such a cool thing for you to talk
39:12
Speaker 1: about the money, because I think most people were like
39:15
Speaker 1: why would you not earn more?
39:16
Speaker 3: Yeah?
39:16
Speaker 1: And even like I've had it so much, like are
39:18
Speaker 1: you gonna sell Baseligne? Or like how can you just
39:20
Speaker 1: close it down? Like when that makes money that I'm like,
39:22
Speaker 1: at what costs? Though? What's more important? And just because
39:25
Speaker 1: I stopped making money in that business, does it not
39:27
Speaker 1: mean that I can make money elsewhere?
39:28
Speaker 3: Yeah?
39:29
Speaker 1: I've got my toes and other things, and I enjoy
39:31
Speaker 1: making money over here, and maybe I'll have more space
39:33
Speaker 1: to make more money over there, but that's not my
39:35
Speaker 1: driving force to keep your business because of money, No away. Yeah,
39:39
Speaker 1: and yeah, love Elis rose.
39:40
Speaker 3: For a long time, it was everything, like I had
39:43
Speaker 3: to give it so much of my attention every single day,
39:45
Speaker 3: those constantly things that we had going on.
39:47
Speaker 1: And yeah, more staff too. We had so much at
39:50
Speaker 1: one point.
39:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, we had a lot going on. So we had
39:53
Speaker 3: like a designer, We had all this stuff overseas, like
39:55
Speaker 3: we were doing the whole.
39:57
Speaker 1: Like I don't know how.
39:57
Speaker 3: You did what you did for so long, because yeah,
40:02
Speaker 3: we only did that for quite a short period of time.
40:04
Speaker 3: And pretty quickly I was like, well I think too,
40:05
Speaker 3: because I went through all of my shit life.
40:07
Speaker 1: Pushed it again.
40:08
Speaker 3: It was like, no, girlfriend, doesn't feel good? And then yeah,
40:11
Speaker 3: I was kind of the same. I started just going, yh,
40:12
Speaker 3: that doesn't feel good anymore.
40:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't feel good anymore? Yes, so freaking cool.
40:17
Speaker 1: And do you want to talk about something else you do?
40:19
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, i'mind dabbling into my coaching a little bit,
40:22
Speaker 3: which is nice. So only taking on you know, very
40:25
Speaker 3: small amounts of clients because obviously I don't want to
40:29
Speaker 3: overdo that capacity. And then also just doing little online
40:33
Speaker 3: workbooks and I eventually do courses as well.
40:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so cool. So people can book in sessions
40:39
Speaker 1: with you now, they sure can. That's so exciting.
40:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels good. And this is what I was
40:43
Speaker 3: saying to Ashley when I was like doing it all.
40:45
Speaker 3: I said, I'm just moving in a way now, like
40:47
Speaker 3: whatever feels aligned, just lean into and right now, I
40:50
Speaker 3: really do, like I love everything we do over here
40:53
Speaker 3: with Growing Glow. I'm doing another course at the moment,
40:55
Speaker 3: and yeah, just I love learning, I love healing, I
40:58
Speaker 3: love helping other people, and it's amazing that we even
41:02
Speaker 3: just get to be here.
41:06
Speaker 1: All right, there's one more question.
41:08
Speaker 3: Okay, what are both of your goals for Grow and Glow? Now?
41:12
Speaker 3: I remember there were hints about a new product in
41:14
Speaker 3: the works.
41:14
Speaker 1: Any update? Who we have three new things coming out?
41:17
Speaker 1: Oh we do, but one is soon. Yeah. Yeah, this
41:23
Speaker 1: one's really cool because we've never seen anyone else do it. Like,
41:26
Speaker 1: even when we looked online, we could not find something
41:29
Speaker 1: like this. I reckon this one probably took us the
41:31
Speaker 1: longest to create. She did I'm really excited to do
41:34
Speaker 1: it myself. I know me too. Yeah, we won't give
41:36
Speaker 1: any hints away. I fore, let me do some fun
41:38
Speaker 1: cool clues we do, but this one's really cool, and
41:41
Speaker 1: then we've got two more after that. There's definitely lots
41:44
Speaker 1: out there, but this is our own style and twist
41:46
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, and it's going to be really beautiful
41:48
Speaker 1: as well. So yeah, three more coming out. We want
41:51
Speaker 1: to do a live event, yes, which would be really cool.
41:53
Speaker 1: There's no dates or anything, but our podcast producers want
41:56
Speaker 1: to help us organize that live podcast event.
41:58
Speaker 3: That'd be so hard even meet with you guys in
42:01
Speaker 3: the flesh and.
42:03
Speaker 1: Talk about I didn't even know what we talk about.
42:05
Speaker 1: I don't know either. I think we'd do like a
42:06
Speaker 1: Q and A at the end, but probably have a
42:07
Speaker 1: couple of different topics. Yeah, definitely, and that'd be so fun.
42:10
Speaker 1: Maybe collaborate with another podcast as well. But we'd love
42:14
Speaker 1: to meet you guys. And live events are so fun,
42:17
Speaker 1: like I love them. They make me so nervous in
42:19
Speaker 1: a good way.
42:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm going to feel a lot better
42:22
Speaker 3: because I'll have you with me. Yes, yeah, yea that
42:25
Speaker 3: we need these couches wherever we go. I feel like, yes, honestly,
42:29
Speaker 3: can we Yes, And I feel like I'm just in
42:32
Speaker 3: the studio.
42:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be so fun. I've been to a
42:35
Speaker 1: couple of live podcast events just like watching other people
42:37
Speaker 1: and it's just such a vibe it is, it's really cool.
42:40
Speaker 1: So we'd love to do that. And then our guests
42:42
Speaker 1: today that we interviewed, just like if you guys ever
42:43
Speaker 1: thought about doing a retreat? Yeah, no, but that could
42:47
Speaker 1: be cool.
42:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there's been so many things that we've
42:49
Speaker 3: spoken about. There's so many things, and you know, the
42:52
Speaker 3: cool thing about this project is we always say like
42:54
Speaker 3: there's no.
42:55
Speaker 1: Pressure, it's all pleasure to organize.
42:57
Speaker 3: Like even this thing that's finally about to come here,
42:58
Speaker 3: we started organizing this ages ago and it's about to
43:01
Speaker 3: land in our lap. But it's because it's all you know,
43:03
Speaker 3: go at our own pace, the flow, and it's just
43:06
Speaker 3: so well aligned. So any opportunities just seem to pop
43:09
Speaker 3: up with which is really cool.
43:11
Speaker 1: Really naturally like, And that's the question I asked myself,
43:15
Speaker 1: was like, is this coming from pressure or pleasure? And
43:18
Speaker 1: like based on was a lot of pressure and this
43:19
Speaker 1: is just so much pleasure. Yeah, it's so easy and
43:22
Speaker 1: flowing and organic, and there's no pressure on both of us.
43:24
Speaker 1: We both live in our lives, but just slots in
43:26
Speaker 1: and flows so nicely. So we're open to so many things.
43:29
Speaker 1: But yeah, what would you guys like to see? Yeah,
43:31
Speaker 1: that's a better question. No, I think you guys are
43:35
Speaker 1: really going to love this next one.
43:37
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this is like my favorite.
43:39
Speaker 1: But then the other one, if they're a mum, they're
43:41
Speaker 1: really going to love that one. Yeah.
43:43
Speaker 3: I just think because I haven't seen it, I know,
43:45
Speaker 3: and I think it's really could help so many people.
43:48
Speaker 1: It will, it will, it will, and it'll be moments
43:50
Speaker 1: of like being uncomfortable with it too.
43:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, it wouldn't be like us to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
43:57
Speaker 3: So true.
43:58
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Oh I hope that answered everyone's questions.
44:02
Speaker 1: We're in the foam. If you guys ever want to
44:03
Speaker 1: ask anything else but other one guys wish we liked
44:06
Speaker 1: for surgery, Good luck day. Yeah, I'm going in today's Monday,
44:09
Speaker 1: so going in on Wednesday and then an operation on Thursday.
44:12
Speaker 1: So yes, I'll keep you guys up to date and
44:15
Speaker 1: I'm sure everything will be fine. Yeah, everyone goes and
44:18
Speaker 1: actually some good vibes. Thanks. Guys, have some good energy.
44:22
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, appreciate it. Alrighty, We'll back in your eas
44:26
Speaker 1: on Wednesday anyway, see you then, Bye bye,