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Budgeting For A Wedding · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and
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Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Right Islander people's.
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Speaker 1: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
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Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
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Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are
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Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
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Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
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Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Joining me as per
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Speaker 3: is a woman who is actually in the thick of
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Speaker 3: today's episode topic, but we'll get to that later.
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Speaker 1: It is, of course, Victoria Divine. Hello, Hello.
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Speaker 3: Now, today we are going to be giving you some
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Speaker 3: of the history and context around weddings, which is cold,
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Speaker 3: weird stuff, some weird and strange stuff.
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Speaker 1: It's not just an episode on budgeting for a wedding,
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Speaker 1: like we're also going to talk about the sassy Queen Victoria.
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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about why maybe we're white to weddings,
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Speaker 1: like we need to know all of the gory details
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Speaker 1: because some of these things, and some of these work
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Speaker 1: traditions as I'm learning and not that good. They make
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Speaker 1: no sense. They make me uncomfortable. But don't be fooled.
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Speaker 3: We will also be talking about the counter budget for
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Speaker 3: your wedding because we're about exactly right.
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Speaker 1: Got to keep the people happy.
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Speaker 3: To kick us off VD, I'm going to rattle off
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Speaker 3: some stats and figures.
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Speaker 1: Go stats, gal, go how big is.
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Speaker 3: The wedding industry in Australia, you might ask yourself asking
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Speaker 3: In a normal year, Australia's wedding industry contributes four point
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Speaker 3: three billion dollars to the economy, with one hundred and
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Speaker 3: ten thousand marriages going ahead each and every year.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to be one of those this year, bless you.
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Speaker 1: There's a lot of weddings. That is a lot. I'm
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Speaker 1: not going to have that many weddings.
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Speaker 3: I'll just have one that just the one can cook
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Speaker 3: a cool Next up, Most Australian couples opt for wedding
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Speaker 3: dates either in March or October, with March being the
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Speaker 3: slightly more popular month.
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Speaker 1: In twenty twenty one, I'm getting married in neither of
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Speaker 1: those months. Interesting, you don't fit them. Mold there.
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Speaker 3: Lastly, for Australian couples, weddings are mostly an expensive affair,
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Speaker 3: with costs actually increasing yearly, and I would say unsurprisingly
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Speaker 3: Victoria and New South Wales are both among the priciest
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Speaker 3: states in the country for weddings.
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Speaker 1: We need to move states. I'm moving anywhere, but if
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Speaker 1: I've got a choice, I think I'll choose Perth. They
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Speaker 1: have quackers, and you know how much I love a Quaker.
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Speaker 1: But moving on, Let's get into some numbers and how
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Speaker 1: much this will actually cost, because I guess that's all
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Speaker 1: I bring to the table really when it comes to
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Speaker 1: the she and she's on the money, like I'm the
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Speaker 1: money part, George is the fun part. Let's actually look
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Speaker 1: at what states pay the most for weddings. So here
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Speaker 1: in Victoria, do you know what we win? We win
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Speaker 1: for having the highest for a wedding dress. Do you
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Speaker 1: know the average wedding dress here in Victoria costs two
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Speaker 1: six hundred and seventy five dollars. Good lord, that's a lot.
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Speaker 1: Wait for it. I haven't even got a quote for
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Speaker 1: this yet, so I'm terrified wedding here and makeup nine
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Speaker 1: hundred and seventy five dollars. Oh lord, I will be
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Speaker 1: doing my own if someone quotes me to have my
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Speaker 1: makeup done for nine hundred and seventy five dollars to
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Speaker 1: do it for you. Yeah, all right, that's five hundred. Okay,
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Speaker 1: not so good. I would four five hundred dollars at
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Speaker 1: least expect someone to own makeup. I've got Misscara. Do
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Speaker 1: I also have to Bayo? Yes, all right. Bridesmaid's dress.
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Speaker 1: I'm shocked because I don't know about you, but I'm
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Speaker 1: planning a wedding Georgia King. I'm looking at all the
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Speaker 1: standard bridesmaid's dresses and like there may be between like
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Speaker 1: one and three hundred dollars. Maybe the average in Victoria
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Speaker 1: is six hundred and eighty seven dollars drickon. That means
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Speaker 1: for one or for like multiple for modular dripp Obviously,
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Speaker 1: this study did not give us the information. That's all right, regardless,
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Speaker 1: that's a lot of money. A celebrant is eight hundred
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Speaker 1: and ninety eight dollars here in Victoria. To be honest,
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Speaker 1: I feel like that's pretty good. Like you're asking someone
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Speaker 1: to come out, usually on a Saturday, and spend some
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Speaker 1: time with you while you get married. Probably what you
4:19
Speaker 1: should be paying guests. Well, yeah, that is true. Instead
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Speaker 1: they have to pay to be there. Reception go fourteen thousand,
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Speaker 1: seven hundred and ten dollars, So.
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Speaker 3: That's the bit where you're drinking the shampoos. See that's
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Speaker 3: what I thought. But then they also broke it down
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Speaker 3: as a caterer being five thousand, seven hundred and sixty
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Speaker 3: one dollars. But because I've been getting quotes and stuff,
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Speaker 3: I can tell you that that wedding reception probably does
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Speaker 3: include the food. It might not include the alcohol at
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Speaker 3: fourteen thousand dollars, but it would usually include the food.
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Speaker 3: Because what I'm finding just anecdotal evidence, is that usually
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Speaker 3: venues are charging anywhere between like one hundred and fifty
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Speaker 3: to maybe two hundred fifty dollars per head for a wedding,
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Speaker 3: including food and alcohol for the reception, and times that
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Speaker 3: by how many What would be the average number of
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Speaker 3: attendees at.
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Speaker 1: Eighty Apparently according to all of the you know, wedding
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Speaker 1: people I'm talking to, they're saying, look, look, eighty is
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Speaker 1: pretty standard. It's not too small, it's not too big.
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Speaker 1: That takes you up to twelve thousand dollars in like
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Speaker 1: food and beverage costs Immediately, if you have eighty people
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Speaker 1: at one hundred and fifty dollars per head not cheap,
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Speaker 1: that's a lot of money. But then you add on
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Speaker 1: everything else and you can see why the average wedding
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Speaker 1: ends up being more than thirty thousand dollars. Because you've
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Speaker 1: got your hair, you've got your makeup, you've got your
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Speaker 1: bridesmaid's dress. You haven't even thought about the groom in
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Speaker 1: this list exactly what we haven't even got a photographer,
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Speaker 1: a videographer, which I've recently learned is that must have,
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Speaker 1: like what these things are all so expensive? And I
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Speaker 1: will definitely be doing an episode after I get married
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Speaker 1: of all the stuff that I bought that I regret. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: that's a really good one hundred percent because I guarantee
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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a long episode. But moving on from
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Speaker 1: you know, slamming Victoria, New South Wales is the most
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Speaker 1: expensive for flowers, so on average, people are spending two
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Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty eight dollars on flowers, Hikay, A
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Speaker 1: photographer on average is three thousand, six hundred and forty
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Speaker 1: six dollars and cake cake. I'm not having a cake
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Speaker 1: at this point in time. I'm currently negotiating with my
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Speaker 1: mother about this. Yeah, but cake five hundred and ninety
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Speaker 1: three dollars?
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Speaker 3: Wow?
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Speaker 1: Do you reckon? I could just get through Cole's mud
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Speaker 1: cakes and smash them together on the top, would you
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Speaker 1: do it in the shape of Jess could do it
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Speaker 1: for me? Yeah? Of course, honestly, Yeah, in smarties on
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Speaker 1: the top. Ye. I'm gonna argue with someone because Cole's
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Speaker 1: Mudcake is elite and that ain't gonna cost you five
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Speaker 1: hundred ninety three dollars. Do you know? Tazzy gets to
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Speaker 1: play this as well, which I didn't think they would
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Speaker 1: be the most expensive for something, but a dj A
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Speaker 1: band in Tazzy is the most expensive, coming in at
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Speaker 1: two three hundred and ninety nine dollars on average. There
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Speaker 1: you go. Maybe it's because there are less creatives there,
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Speaker 1: or get this, the creatives actually value themselves properly.
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Speaker 3: Well, yes, and we all should, shouldn't we V For
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Speaker 3: anyone who doesn't know a little bit of a background
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Speaker 3: to hear, V is getting married in November and I'm
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Speaker 3: probably never getting married. I'm You're coming to the wedding.
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Speaker 3: Your connection, that's that's my connection to weddings Now, we're
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Speaker 3: going to move into that weird space that we alluded
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Speaker 3: to before VD. We're getting historical. We're talking about the
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Speaker 3: history of weddings and the premise of marriage, which is
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Speaker 3: mostly heteronormative, so we will flank that as well. And
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Speaker 3: it's also quite unrheumatic, which may surprise some people. So
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Speaker 3: the best available evidence suggests that marriage is about four thousand,
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Speaker 3: three hundred and fifty years old. Great, thank you for
7:46
Speaker 3: thousands of years before that. Most anthropologists believe families actually
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Speaker 3: consisted of loosely organized groups of as many as thirty
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Speaker 3: people with several male leaders. Of course, the multiple women
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Speaker 3: we're in those families shared by those men and also
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Speaker 3: some children thrown who.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that gives me the ick, not because it's not
8:08
Speaker 1: you know, if you want to do that, you do.
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Speaker 1: You Like, Polyamorous relationships exist, and that's totally a valid
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Speaker 1: form of having a relationship, but it's the premise that
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Speaker 1: it's just like led by men and then the women
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Speaker 1: are shared like ill.
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Speaker 3: Well, that's what it all stems back to. Though it's interesting.
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Speaker 3: The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman
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Speaker 3: and one man dates back from about twenty three hundred
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Speaker 3: and fifty b c. To ages Go in Mesopotamia. But
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Speaker 3: back then marriage had little to do with love or religion.
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Speaker 1: Women were just tradable resources and well yeah, man.
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Speaker 3: Marriage's primary purpose was to bind women to men and
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Speaker 3: guarantee that a man's children were then truly.
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Speaker 1: His biological heirs.
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Speaker 3: What through marriage a woman becomes a man's property. In
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Speaker 3: the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greek, a father would hand
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Speaker 3: over his daughter with these words, Okay, brace.
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Speaker 1: Yourself, I pledge.
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Speaker 3: I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.
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Speaker 3: Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives.
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Speaker 3: Married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual
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Speaker 3: urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while
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Speaker 3: their wives were required to stay home and tend to
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Speaker 3: the household.
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Speaker 1: If wives failed to produce.
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Speaker 3: Offspring, their husbands could give them back and marry someone else.
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Speaker 1: You could give your wife fat. I'm surprised it wasn't
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Speaker 1: like you can stone them to death and then I
9:37
Speaker 1: don't know. He probably needed to do some more research.
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Speaker 1: I'm absolutely certain that there would have been some kind
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Speaker 1: of quote punishment. Huh I reckon.
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Speaker 3: But as religion became big in Europe, the blessing of
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Speaker 3: a priest became a necessary step in the process. Obviously, apparently,
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Speaker 3: bringing God into marriage meant men were taught how to
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Speaker 3: show greater respect for their wives.
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Speaker 1: It forbade them from divorcing them. Yeah, good, that's obviously
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Speaker 1: really important. We love.
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Speaker 3: Christian doctrine also declared that the twain shall be one
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Speaker 3: flesh poetic, giving husband and wife exclusive access to each
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Speaker 3: other's bodies.
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Speaker 1: This put new pressure.
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Speaker 3: On men to remain sexually faithful, but the Church still
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Speaker 3: held that men were the head of families, with their
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Speaker 3: wives deferring to their wishes. Gross Moving on. Love is
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Speaker 3: also relatively recent in marriage two, with the Middle Ages
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Speaker 3: seeing the first documentation of love over practicalities.
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Speaker 1: Weighing in our marriage. I love that good.
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Speaker 3: And finally, flash way forward to the ninth of December
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Speaker 3: twenty seventeen, when the right to marry in Australia was
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Speaker 3: no longer determined by sex or gender. When Australians freakin
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Speaker 3: finally voted for marriage equality via a postal survey ten.
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Speaker 1: Out of ten from us. That's just a brief little
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Speaker 1: history of I think it's very interesting. I feel like
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Speaker 1: there's so many different reasons why we did things and
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Speaker 1: do things, but it's not that often that we actually
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Speaker 1: question them. And this whole marriage process for me has
11:01
Speaker 1: been a lot of questioning, like why do we do that?
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Speaker 1: Why do we have a cake? Why do I have
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Speaker 1: to be walked down the aisle by somebody else? Like
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Speaker 1: why would we get married in a church which we're not?
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Speaker 1: Why would we do all of these different things? I
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Speaker 1: keep googling things like why should I carry a bouquet
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Speaker 1: down the aisle? That? Like why am I carrying that?
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Speaker 1: Do you know why? Georgia? Because people didn't used to
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Speaker 1: bathe and they would smell, so they carried flowers. Interesting cute,
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Speaker 1: So I missed stinky bride if I carry flowers. I
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Speaker 1: don't what any stinky bride or shower I promise on
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Speaker 1: my wedding day, of all, I can't promise any other day.
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Speaker 1: But I'm sure it's held in confirm that on my
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Speaker 1: wedding day or have a shower at least once. It
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Speaker 1: is all quite strange, isn't it. That is definitely all
11:43
Speaker 1: quite a time, And I will shower on my wedding day.
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Speaker 1: But let's talk about some of the things that are
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Speaker 1: generally regarded as wedding staples. Like, let's get into it, Jack,
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Speaker 1: Did you know that the og Obviously Queen Victoria herself,
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Speaker 1: she chose to wear white because it was the perfect
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Speaker 1: color for her to flex the delicacy of the lace
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Speaker 1: that was on her gown. That's why she chose white.
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Speaker 1: And then she asked nobody else other than the bridesmaids
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Speaker 1: to wear white on that day because she wanted to
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Speaker 1: be the center of attention, because she's Victoria after all.
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Speaker 1: And until that point, most women actually wore bright and
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Speaker 1: colorful dresses that could be recycled through different occasions, because obviously,
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Speaker 1: dresses used to be so much more expensive before Queen Victoria,
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Speaker 1: women who wore white on their wedding day did it
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Speaker 1: to show how rich they were, because obviously they could
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Speaker 1: show that they could keep their stuff clean, which was
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Speaker 1: definitely not you know, the norm of the time. See,
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Speaker 1: I thought it was a symbol of like your virginity. No,
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Speaker 1: it's because Queen Victoria wore white, and then that became
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Speaker 1: quite trendy. Up until then, we just wore whatever we want,
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Speaker 1: and then bride'smaids speaking of them, they weren't allowed to
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Speaker 1: wear white. Spoiler, I think I want my bridesmaids to
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Speaker 1: wear white, just to shake that up. But bridesmaids in
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Speaker 1: ancient Rome, it was believed that bad spirits would descend
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Speaker 1: upon the wedding, so bridesmaids actually ended up wearing similar
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Speaker 1: outfits to the bride to confound to the evil doers.
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Speaker 1: Seems legit. It is such a agit, right, And in
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Speaker 1: many cultures throughout history, brides presented their grooms with a
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Speaker 1: dowry of money, furniture, and other riches, which made them
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Speaker 1: targets for robbers and their evil exes. And again, bridesmaids
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Speaker 1: actually served as quote decoys so that the bandits wouldn't
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Speaker 1: know who the actual bride was and who'd ever rob
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Speaker 1: what I know? Also, you know, I probably should mention
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Speaker 1: the idea of being given away and a dowry and
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Speaker 1: all of that makes me wildly are uncomfortable. But yeah,
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Speaker 1: I won't be given away. Are you taking Steve's last night?
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Speaker 1: I'm not? Is that okay? That's what I thought you
13:42
Speaker 1: would say.
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Speaker 3: But if you were Victoria Deviron from Shees on the Money, Yeah,
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Speaker 3: if you were just in the quotation marks a financial advisor. Yeah,
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Speaker 3: with no like media career, would you have taken his name?
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Speaker 3: I've never wanted to take somebody else's name. I've always
13:56
Speaker 3: felt really connected to my own name. Maybe there's like
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Speaker 3: a lot of reasons and we can get into it
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Speaker 3: very deeply one day over a couple of wines. But
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Speaker 3: ever since I was little, I have wanted to keep
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Speaker 3: my surname Divine because my dad's actually the only boy
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Speaker 3: left in his family, and he's in a situation where
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Speaker 3: if I don't keep my name and give it to
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Speaker 3: my children, which is the plan, like I'll have baby
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Speaker 3: divines his bloodline I suppose dies out, And that's obviously
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Speaker 3: quite quote traditional and definitely not why I'm picking it.
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Speaker 3: But I just love the idea of that name not
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Speaker 3: dying and being able to honor a family that I
14:31
Speaker 3: absolutely love and adore. And you know, having spoken to
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Speaker 3: Steve and flipping the narrative and going, well, what would
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Speaker 3: happen if I took your name? Like there are lots
14:40
Speaker 3: of baby Morrison's floating around at the moment, and to
14:43
Speaker 3: us we're like, oh, well that makes sense. So yeah,
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Speaker 3: I'll stay Divine and our babies will be divine, which
14:48
Speaker 3: is kind of cool.
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Speaker 1: Love that he you very good. I'll go to a
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Speaker 1: break before we are talk too much about Victoria's wedding
14:54
Speaker 1: instead of weddings in general. Alrighty VD, Now let's dive
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Speaker 1: straight into a little chat about family and social pressures
15:05
Speaker 1: as they relate to wedding. Gosh, there are so many,
15:09
Speaker 1: so many you're going through it. It's insanct, it's insane.
15:12
Speaker 1: Let's not talk about my personal experience. Let's talk about Zola. So.
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Speaker 1: Zola is a wedding website, and they recently surveyed five
15:19
Speaker 1: hundred engaged or newlywed couples, and they found out that
15:22
Speaker 1: ninety six percent of them are freaking out about wedding
15:25
Speaker 1: planning ninety six percent. Ninety six percent same. I'm in
15:28
Speaker 1: that ninety six percent. Seventy one percent thought it was
15:32
Speaker 1: a more nerve wracking job than any other major life
15:35
Speaker 1: event like finding a new job. Fifty three percent of
15:38
Speaker 1: couples said that their parents are the biggest stress causing culprits.
15:42
Speaker 1: I am very happy to say that that is not
15:44
Speaker 1: the case in our situation, and thirty three percent said
15:47
Speaker 1: it was their in laws. Again, not the same in
15:50
Speaker 1: our situation. I mean, Steve might think is my parents,
15:52
Speaker 1: but he hasn't articulated that is the case at any point.
15:55
Speaker 1: So it's a life transition for everybody involved, obviously, And
15:58
Speaker 1: with life transitions comes an identity shift and a sense
16:02
Speaker 1: of loss for who you were before, which I think
16:04
Speaker 1: is another thing and another reason why G I just
16:07
Speaker 1: don't want to change my name. I'm already changing so
16:09
Speaker 1: much about my life. It's just not for mej. Meanwhile,
16:13
Speaker 1: all of this happens when everybody's eyes are directly on you.
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Speaker 1: You're spending loads of money, and you're expected to be
16:18
Speaker 1: the happiest you've ever been or whatever will be. And
16:22
Speaker 1: the culmination of all of these circumstances honestly makes wedding
16:25
Speaker 1: planning incredibly stressful, and it exasperates an already estranged financially
16:29
Speaker 1: dynamic if it exists, it creates hurt feelings and conflict,
16:32
Speaker 1: and I just feel like too many people put too
16:35
Speaker 1: much pressure on weddings.
16:36
Speaker 3: I'm now going to say something that is extremely spy stable. No,
16:40
Speaker 3: it's not spicy, it's probably it's what everyone would expect
16:43
Speaker 3: me to say at this point, And that is how
16:46
Speaker 3: much we think social media plays into this whole thing massively.
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Speaker 1: I thought you were actually going to say something about
16:52
Speaker 1: your personal values and really upholding that. So like, good
16:55
Speaker 1: job being you know, not too predictable, good saucy minx
17:00
Speaker 1: you good but it's true, right like, and I feel that.
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Speaker 1: And if I'm feeling that, I know every other bride
17:05
Speaker 1: is feeling that, or every other person who is planning
17:08
Speaker 1: a wedding. Like you see on social media all of
17:11
Speaker 1: these fancy dresses and you see all of these people
17:14
Speaker 1: getting married in beautiful locations, and you see, you know,
17:17
Speaker 1: these gorgeous photos and expensive videographers, and you compare yourself
17:20
Speaker 1: to that and you go wow, like, maybe that's the goal.
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Speaker 1: But often if you're seeing big weddings blowing up on
17:26
Speaker 1: social media, it's because they've got enough funding for that.
17:29
Speaker 1: It's because they either are social media influences. It might
17:32
Speaker 1: have things gifted that they haven't you know, maybe acknowledged.
17:35
Speaker 1: I know a lot of brides recently, if they are
17:38
Speaker 1: in that social media space, I've been gifted their dresses.
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Speaker 1: And when you go, oh, gee, like I would love
17:43
Speaker 1: that dress, and you go to inquire, the dresses are
17:45
Speaker 1: twenty plus thousand dollars. I'm not saying that any of
17:48
Speaker 1: these things you shouldn't spend money on, because I'm very
17:50
Speaker 1: much a believer that if it's in line with your
17:52
Speaker 1: values and you've made the right decision for you.
17:55
Speaker 3: You do you.
17:56
Speaker 1: But there is a lot of pressure floating around, and
17:58
Speaker 1: if I'm feeling it, I know everybody else is feeling
18:01
Speaker 1: and it's just a lot. G it is a lot.
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Speaker 3: I'm obviously super skeptical and cynical about social media, but
18:07
Speaker 3: seeing like the same photo with the same love cutout
18:13
Speaker 3: in a field, black and white photos you hugging each
18:16
Speaker 3: other in a hayfield, I don't know.
18:18
Speaker 1: I find it a bit cringe. But I'm also an asshole.
18:21
Speaker 1: So if you could just get me to get in
18:22
Speaker 1: my emails later and cancel the big lov either I'm
18:25
Speaker 1: going to have at my wedding, that would be great.
18:28
Speaker 3: It's beautiful, but people are very drawn to what other
18:32
Speaker 3: people are doing exactly a very pinterest worthy right, like,
18:35
Speaker 3: and every single wedding that you go on Pinterest and
18:39
Speaker 3: see it doesn't mean that you have to have that wedding.
18:42
Speaker 1: And I mean I'm in the very privileged position where
18:43
Speaker 1: I've actually been to a lot of weddings I used
18:45
Speaker 1: to work at weddings way back in the day when
18:47
Speaker 1: I was a waitress, and I also have been invited
18:50
Speaker 1: to a lot of special people's weddings, and to be honest,
18:53
Speaker 1: all of them are incredible. All of them have been
18:55
Speaker 1: very different, all of them have different budgets associated with them.
18:59
Speaker 1: But I can't can't say, oh, my god, the bigger,
19:01
Speaker 1: the better. Like I think my favorite wedding that I've
19:04
Speaker 1: been to that really like I think I was crying
19:06
Speaker 1: half the time, was when a couple of my friends
19:08
Speaker 1: got married and there was like a total of thirty
19:10
Speaker 1: of us. It's just like so sweet and it was
19:14
Speaker 1: so personal and it was within their home, and I
19:17
Speaker 1: just felt like that was the most special wedding I've
19:19
Speaker 1: ever been to. Not to downplay all of the weddings
19:21
Speaker 1: that I've been to of all of my other friends
19:23
Speaker 1: who I know what we're listening so this is an
19:24
Speaker 1: awkward episode, but I just I don't think that a
19:28
Speaker 1: wedding needs to be this big, massive, you know, hullabaloo
19:33
Speaker 1: in saying that, gee, my wedding's getting out of hand.
19:37
Speaker 1: My partner is a soccer nut, and you know, part
19:40
Speaker 1: of the soccer team is like on the committee and stuff.
19:43
Speaker 1: So basically everybody at the soccer club will be at
19:46
Speaker 1: our wedding, and it just it's blown out of proportion.
19:50
Speaker 1: But that's okay because it's really in line with his values.
19:53
Speaker 1: And every time I say to Steve, what do you want,
19:54
Speaker 1: He's like a party, I want a big part. Yeah,
19:57
Speaker 1: it's okay, no problems, whereas I'm trying to it's the
20:00
Speaker 1: fact that I just want really good food.
20:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, social media aside, Sorry for that little
20:05
Speaker 3: ten No.
20:06
Speaker 1: I think it's important because we need to talk about
20:08
Speaker 1: these things because I think a lot of people will
20:10
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I listened to this episode because I
20:12
Speaker 1: hoped that genv would tell me what is an appropriate
20:15
Speaker 1: budget to spend on a wedding, Like, weddings are no
20:19
Speaker 1: less valid if you just went to the registry and
20:21
Speaker 1: decided to get married, or if you had like a
20:23
Speaker 1: five hundred person meg our wedding, Like, they're all just
20:27
Speaker 1: as beautiful and it should be about you and the
20:29
Speaker 1: person that you're marrying, not about you know how big
20:32
Speaker 1: your wedding.
20:32
Speaker 3: Is exactly, And I feel like that is sometimes what
20:34
Speaker 3: gets forgotten amongst all of this is that it's a
20:36
Speaker 3: celebration of two people coming together to start a life.
20:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it really upsets me that so many people
20:43
Speaker 1: put so much pressure on themselves to have these big
20:45
Speaker 1: weddings and thus compromising their future financial goals. Like I
20:49
Speaker 1: don't want you to start a marriage in debt because
20:52
Speaker 1: you were getting married, Like, debt is the number one
20:55
Speaker 1: thing people fight over in relationships, So it just feels
20:58
Speaker 1: really silly go into debt for a wedding. And I
21:01
Speaker 1: think that's the number one thing that I you know,
21:04
Speaker 1: being really personal at the moment, that's the number one
21:07
Speaker 1: thing Steve and I have said, like we've said a budget.
21:09
Speaker 1: I want to pay for everything in cash. I'm trying
21:11
Speaker 1: to pay for things. You know, we're getting married in November,
21:14
Speaker 1: but I've been trying to pay for things along the
21:16
Speaker 1: way because I also don't want the amount of money
21:19
Speaker 1: owing to add up because I think so many times
21:21
Speaker 1: I keep getting invoices and stuff, right because I'm booking
21:24
Speaker 1: a photographer or I you know, have finally found a
21:27
Speaker 1: gorgeous celebrant and they'll send through an invoice and be like,
21:30
Speaker 1: all right, it's twenty percent to like lock in this venue,
21:33
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, okay, that's fine, But then I'm like,
21:36
Speaker 1: when is arrest you and they're like, oh, the week
21:37
Speaker 1: before the wedding, and I'm like, oh my god, Like,
21:40
Speaker 1: if I left everything to the week before the wedding,
21:43
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have so much money that's owing. And I
21:46
Speaker 1: don't want to be stressed about money the week before
21:48
Speaker 1: the wedding. And obviously there's probably a lot to say
21:50
Speaker 1: about not paying a photographer until you locked it in
21:52
Speaker 1: and all of that other stuff, but like, I just
21:55
Speaker 1: want these costs out of the way, So I've really
21:57
Speaker 1: been trying to spread them out over a period of
21:59
Speaker 1: time time and you know, pick up a few things
22:02
Speaker 1: here and there, and you know, I really want to
22:04
Speaker 1: love hot sunglasses for all of our bridesmaids to have
22:08
Speaker 1: on the day, and just like really laying things that
22:10
Speaker 1: I know I can purchase now and put to the
22:13
Speaker 1: side so that it doesn't feel like a really expensive
22:16
Speaker 1: week the week before the wedding because I've forgotten about
22:18
Speaker 1: all those things. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a lot.
22:20
Speaker 3: That leads perfectly now into talking about budgeting the what
22:24
Speaker 3: are your top tips in this space?
22:27
Speaker 1: Set a realistic budget, and for me personally, that has
22:31
Speaker 1: just crept up and up and up. And it's not
22:34
Speaker 1: because I keep going, oh my god, I want to
22:35
Speaker 1: spend more. It's just I forget that things need to happen.
22:39
Speaker 1: It's that I didn't know that there were certain costs.
22:42
Speaker 1: Like this is going to be a very entitled comment,
22:45
Speaker 1: but I didn't realize that chairs weren't included when you
22:49
Speaker 1: hired a venue, and that if you want nice ceremony chairs,
22:53
Speaker 1: they don't just pull them out of the back. You
22:54
Speaker 1: have to hire them. That seems fascical. I didn't know
22:58
Speaker 1: that was a thing, right, And that's total fair and fine,
23:00
Speaker 1: And some people listening are probably gonna be like, the
23:02
Speaker 1: how did you not know that? I just didn't know that,
23:05
Speaker 1: And that's fine, and that's added, you know, money to
23:08
Speaker 1: our budget, and things are creeping up, not because I
23:10
Speaker 1: keep choosing more expensive things, but because I just didn't know.
23:15
Speaker 1: So I've been keeping a very detailed spreadsheet, as should you,
23:19
Speaker 1: and I'll drop mine later in the year once I
23:21
Speaker 1: feel like I have got it tweaked to perfection and
23:24
Speaker 1: also included everything that I spent money on because I
23:27
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like that's what I needed. I
23:30
Speaker 1: didn't just need to go and download a random budget template,
23:32
Speaker 1: like I needed someone to go, oh, this was this
23:35
Speaker 1: and this was that, and you know, I want to
23:37
Speaker 1: buy two pairs of shoes at least George, because I
23:40
Speaker 1: know that I want a beautiful pair of heels, but
23:42
Speaker 1: I also know I want something flat and really pretty
23:44
Speaker 1: to dance in, Like that needs to be in the budget.
23:47
Speaker 1: And I just didn't think about adding shoes to the
23:50
Speaker 1: budget because like, in my head, the most important thing
23:53
Speaker 1: was actually the dress, but it really needs to come
23:55
Speaker 1: into play, so obviously budgeting, but then think about everything
23:58
Speaker 1: else that gets forgotten. We had an engagement party that
24:02
Speaker 1: needed to be a part of the wedding budget. I
24:04
Speaker 1: don't want to pretend that's not a thing. The hens,
24:07
Speaker 1: the bucks, if that's going to cost you money, wedding
24:10
Speaker 1: party gifts, thank you gifts for people. I just so
24:13
Speaker 1: many of these things are adding up and I'm trying
24:16
Speaker 1: to think of them as they go. But even the
24:18
Speaker 1: gift I'm going to give my bridesmaids when I officially
24:20
Speaker 1: because I still haven't, God forbid, asked my bridesmaids to
24:23
Speaker 1: officially be my bridesmaids. Like I want to put together
24:27
Speaker 1: a little gift for them, and that's just spiraling out
24:30
Speaker 1: of control, and very quickly that's become more than fifty
24:33
Speaker 1: dollars each, And I'm like, what, like this is crazy,
24:36
Speaker 1: like and in the moment, you're like, oh, it's fifty dollars,
24:38
Speaker 1: it's not that much, But then you go, how many
24:41
Speaker 1: just fifty dollars are happening on this wedding? Like this
24:44
Speaker 1: is just so much. It's such a hullaballoo in my opinion.
24:48
Speaker 3: So I'm assuming, then, VI, you are going to say
24:50
Speaker 3: that having emergency backup funds is really important.
24:54
Speaker 1: Yes, when planning away one hundred percent, And I think
24:57
Speaker 1: that adding in a buffer of maybe between ten and
25:00
Speaker 1: fifteen percent for everything that you spend and just popping
25:04
Speaker 1: it to the side as kind of like a wedding
25:06
Speaker 1: emergency account, is not going to be the worst thing,
25:09
Speaker 1: because either you'll need to rely on it, or you'll
25:12
Speaker 1: be in the sick position where you just got married
25:14
Speaker 1: and you didn't have to rely on it. And that
25:16
Speaker 1: can be either some more savings or your actual emergency fund,
25:19
Speaker 1: or go towards a honeymoon or something that you want
25:21
Speaker 1: to spend money on. I also have a few hot takes.
25:25
Speaker 1: Alterations can be really expensive. I didn't realize. I thought,
25:30
Speaker 1: you know, I've had a couple of pairs of pants
25:31
Speaker 1: taking out before g twenty bucks here and there. Right, No,
25:34
Speaker 1: it's hundreds of dollars to have your wedding dress altered.
25:37
Speaker 3: Really, yes, and most people need to do that, like
25:40
Speaker 3: when you get your dress fitted.
25:41
Speaker 1: Sometimes when you buy your dress directly from the store,
25:44
Speaker 1: they'll be like, no, all of your fittings are included,
25:46
Speaker 1: like in the cost because it's a few thousand dollars.
25:49
Speaker 1: But if you're like me, George King, and you went
25:51
Speaker 1: on steel White dot com dot are you and bought
25:53
Speaker 1: a second hand wedding dress because you just can't comprehend
25:56
Speaker 1: how expensive dresses are, you then realize that alteration on
26:00
Speaker 1: top of that are literally hundreds of dollars because you
26:03
Speaker 1: need to find an independent third party who's willing to
26:05
Speaker 1: work on a relatively customized Yeah, dressed it, which I
26:10
Speaker 1: totally get, but I hadn't comprehended, Like, I just hadn't
26:14
Speaker 1: thought about that. And then correct invitation postage postage dollar
26:19
Speaker 1: per envelope, so we've done digital save the dates. And
26:23
Speaker 1: then I really wanted the stationery to go out because
26:26
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just have this thing about getting
26:28
Speaker 1: letters in the mail. I love it, and I love
26:30
Speaker 1: the experience of getting it, and I wanted everybody else
26:33
Speaker 1: to have that. But that has added up really quickly,
26:35
Speaker 1: Like we are at a total guest limit of I
26:38
Speaker 1: think it's about one hundred and forty now, So that's
26:40
Speaker 1: one hundred and forty bucks just on stamps. We haven't
26:43
Speaker 1: even got to the wedding stationery yet, and that adds up.
26:46
Speaker 1: Then what happens if there's bad weather. So we have
26:49
Speaker 1: been informed that if there is bad weather, we're going
26:51
Speaker 1: to need to hire a marquee for the venue that
26:53
Speaker 1: we're at. And doing some googling, that's not a couple
26:57
Speaker 1: of hundred dollars, that's a few thousand dollars, anywhere between
27:01
Speaker 1: three and seven thousand dollars, depending on the marquee that
27:03
Speaker 1: we pick. Bridal transportation separate to the bride and groom
27:08
Speaker 1: gonna cost you some money as well. Thankfully, we don't
27:10
Speaker 1: need any transportation. We're just gonna be in the one position.
27:14
Speaker 1: Do you know what anyone needs? A car? My parents
27:16
Speaker 1: both have cars, yeah, and be great. The other thing
27:19
Speaker 1: I kept forgetting to do is factor yourself in to
27:22
Speaker 1: the overall HEADCOUMP. So for really long time, I was
27:25
Speaker 1: like one hundred and thirty eight. Steeve's like, hey, a
27:27
Speaker 1: couple more people. There's two people are going to be
27:30
Speaker 1: at that wedding for sure, Yeah, and they're not on
27:32
Speaker 1: the guest list right now, so we needed to do
27:35
Speaker 1: that event lighting. What extra lighting so that like the
27:39
Speaker 1: dance floor is lit up properly, Like insane didn't know
27:43
Speaker 1: that was a thing. Vendor meals in overtime if they
27:46
Speaker 1: are needed. So in all of the contracts that I
27:49
Speaker 1: am getting through for the videographers, for the photographers, for
27:53
Speaker 1: our you know, celebrant who were actually getting to be
27:56
Speaker 1: the MC as well, meals one of them needs accommodation
28:00
Speaker 1: because of their travel, like all of that needs to
28:02
Speaker 1: be paid for by us, which I'm so fine with,
28:05
Speaker 1: but these are things I had no idea existed. And
28:08
Speaker 1: then post reception transportation, so thankfully I'm just going to
28:12
Speaker 1: stay at the venue that I'm going to be getting married,
28:14
Speaker 1: so no need to leave. I was like one of
28:17
Speaker 1: the reasons I picked it because I was like, eh,
28:19
Speaker 1: I can just roll on upstairs after eating all of
28:21
Speaker 1: the good wedding food heaven, laughing at all the people
28:24
Speaker 1: who were like, hahha, I didn't eat at my wedding.
28:27
Speaker 1: That's all I'm going to do. I promise, that's all
28:29
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. Ke, Sure you do, sis, because people
28:32
Speaker 1: pass out at eight if they don't eat, eg, my cousin.
28:36
Speaker 1: But transportation after for the bride and groom to get
28:39
Speaker 1: wherever they need to go, even if it's just ubers.
28:41
Speaker 1: You need to take these things into consideration, like things
28:45
Speaker 1: are creeping up. But honestly, if I had been more planned,
28:48
Speaker 1: completely unavoidable, like I could have avoided all of this.
28:51
Speaker 1: But I also didn't know where to find that spread
28:53
Speaker 1: geet or that template. So I'm just making it myself
28:56
Speaker 1: and I will share it with all of you guys
28:57
Speaker 1: once I think I've just got it right, brilliant.
29:00
Speaker 3: We'll look forward to that, do you recking? That'll be
29:01
Speaker 3: on like the website or social beyond the website. Okay, amazing,
29:05
Speaker 3: But did you know on.
29:05
Speaker 1: The website we literally have a whole section of free downloadables.
29:08
Speaker 1: I mean I did, Yeah you did, but like lots
29:10
Speaker 1: of people don't. But we literally have a free budget,
29:13
Speaker 1: We have free ebooks, we have all of those saving
29:15
Speaker 1: charts that you might have seen on social media, like
29:18
Speaker 1: go and have a look at that, because it's free
29:20
Speaker 1: stuff and it's all free.
29:21
Speaker 3: Make the most win anyway, money win. Indeed, let's put
29:25
Speaker 3: a pin in it there. The advice shed on She's
29:28
Speaker 3: of the Buddy is general in nature and does not
29:31
Speaker 3: consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely
29:35
Speaker 3: for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to
29:38
Speaker 3: make an investment or a financial decision or wedding. Yeah,
29:41
Speaker 3: exactly right, and we promise Victoria Devine and She's on
29:44
Speaker 3: the Money are authorized representatives of in Focused Securities Australia
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Speaker 3: Proprietary Limited ABN four seven zero nine seven seven nine
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Speaker 3: seven zero four nine AFSL two three six five two
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Speaker 3: three See Friday Guys, Bye, look at
30:02
Speaker 1: He