Latest / Still Well Podcast / Midlife, Faith, and Letting Go: Finding Joy in Life's Next Chapter

Transcript

Midlife, Faith, and Letting Go: Finding Joy in Life's Next Chapter · Still Well Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I think that's all I can say to start off this podcast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I actually can't believe this is happening, and I am so excited to be here with you.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Stillwell Podcast, the very first episode.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: First episode for me, first episode for you, likely.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I think we need to give each other a little grace.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: I hope we will give each other a little grace because this is my first time doing a solo podcast.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I am brimming with excitement to talk to you, but also got a little nerves because I just want to have a great conversation with you.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that you will tune in and listen to the podcast each week and think of it as like a conversation over tea with a couple of friends.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not here to talk down to you or even to teach or um to give you coaching advice.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: I really want to just have real and honest conversations about the season of life because the season of life is a little tricky, isn't it?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you know anything about me, I'm a mom of three boys.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Two of them are out of the house and in college.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Are they really out of the house when they're in college?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: They come back.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And when they come back, they bring their messes, don't they?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: But two of them are out of school or out of the house.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then I still have one who is a junior in high school.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's a different phase of life.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm still figuring things out myself.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Not to say just a new phase of life, but a new season of life, really.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're heading into summer.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: We might actually already be in summer by the time this podcast airs.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I just started to think heading into a new season of life, a new season of the year.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, what better time than to watch the podcast?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because honestly, I was, I wasn't even sure as I started Still Well Mom that I would be doing a podcast.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: But I just feel like there are so many conversations to be had.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And there are things that I'm going through and dealing with, and I'm sure there are things that you're going through and dealing with, and probably a lot of them are the same.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I can give any help or insight or just basically be real with you so that you know you're not alone, that's what I hope to do.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And as I mentioned, my boys are older, they don't need me quite like they used to.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: And not only that, I'm shifting from a career standpoint.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And on top of that, I am turning 50.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big number.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: I have to say that age never bothered me quite like it has now, if I'm being honest.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I turned 40 and I was actually super excited about it.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: We went away on vacation, several of my friends, like it was a couples trip.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: My parents came, my parents' best friends, people I grew up with.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: We had a ball.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember being so excited about that trip.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually remember coming home from that trip, talking on the plane about how excited I was to be in a new phase of life, that my kids were a little bit older.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like my husband and I finally had time to travel and spend more time together, and we had a little bit more freedom.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: That was 10 years ago.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm turning 50 and I'm kind of I feel a little up-ended, I guess is the word.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think because when I turned 40, I was looking at being a little older, maybe a little more experienced.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: The kids getting older, so I had freedom, but they were still there.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't feel like I was looking at more life in the rear view mirror than I am in the front view, if that makes sense.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: And now all of a sudden I'm grappling with my kids getting older and moving out of the house, probably in the next couple of years, God willing.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And not only that, but grappling with menopause.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And also my age, it just feels older.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: It really feels older.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just processing and thinking through what does the next half of my life look like?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: What do I want it to look like?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: How healthy can I be?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: What's aging look like?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: How do I parent my kids in this season of life?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: There are just so many things that I think about.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to assume that if I'm thinking about them, you probably are too.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you're necessarily like me.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to be a super overthinker.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's a work in progress.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's, I don't know if every woman struggles with that or not, but I know that I have struggled with overthinking and definitely over-catastrophizing.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a work in progress as well.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning to find more time by myself.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: The house is quieter.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: When my son that's in high school is here, he's often up in his room or he's doing something with his friends, you know.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: So the house is quieter.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning to be still and be alone, which has been odd, but also really good.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also really connecting back with my faith in a real way.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's something, I don't think, I know that's something that's been so important to me.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe for any woman going through this season of life, so important.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because what I found was, and I'll be really honest with you, is I was kind of going down a rabbit hole or tailspin of just what does my life look like now?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: What is what is aging gonna look like?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do I have?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the joy coming from if my kids are older?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: What all of these questions?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: What's my health gonna be like?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Mortality, purpose.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I realized that all of those things can really be answered with faith in God.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I started to realize, especially in the last year, that I can work on my physical health all I want, which I do quite a bit, and I can really strive for emotional balance, which I also do.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm not really connecting to God and to my faith, all that other stuff is just me grasping at the reins and trying to keep control of the wheel and control of my life.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: And really, how much control do any of us have?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: That was wow, was such a big wake-up call for me in this season.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: But once I realized that, it allowed me to kind of start letting go.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you something else that I realized along the way that I think I was really making my health an idol.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: I've been so worried about longevity and living as long as possible, and even just thinking about death and what that looks like and how soon it would come, wanting to be here for my kids and for my grandkids.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: I hope this doesn't sound morbid.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is probably not a great way to start a podcast.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm probably scaring some of you away.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: But these are just questions in my mind.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I'm hoping that if I can get on here and be real with you guys, that it'll open up conversations for yourselves to just to think through, to talk to your spouses about, to your friends about, because I can't be the only one thinking about it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, all of those things, all of those questions, all of those concerns come back to me wanting to be in control of everything and know the answers to everything, which let's face it, that's not happening in this lifetime.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And also wanting to have more certainty.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Certainty is a big thing for me, and maybe it is for you too.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is in this life, I don't think we have, there's not a lot of things that we can really hang our hat on and be certain about.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean to sound doom and gloom, but I think the more that I put my energy and effort into doing everything myself and controlling everything, the less I looked to God and the more I just was spinning.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, the worse I felt because I, you know, I was overanalyzing.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking too much about my health and what I was doing and how I could make things better.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was pushing too hard, I was striving too much, I was pressuring myself.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized that I wasn't being a good steward of my life and whatever time I have on this earth, whatever's whatever's left for me, I wasn't living it the way that I wanted to.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had to take a step back and get really honest with myself and honest about what I wanted.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized that the first thing that I needed to do was not that I ever stepped away from God because I've had a strong faith for most of my life.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I just needed to get on a better path, a more targeted path, and spending more time with God.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: And once I did that, things started to open up for me.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: And what I have found is that to be flourishing in this phase of life, we really do need all three things.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: We do need physical health and strength.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: We also need emotional balance and we need faith.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: If we don't have all three of those things combined, we're likely to miss the mark.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: We're likely to live less of a life than we could have.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want that for myself.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm guessing you probably don't want that for yourself either.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think if we spend all of our time focusing on just one of those areas, we're still gonna miss the mark.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: So if you were gonna only focus on one, I would choose faith for sure.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we are called to be faithful.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, we are called to put God first above everything.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible even says, put me first, and everything else will be given to you, meaning put God first and everything else will be given.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: So that's important.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: And faith should be number one, absolutely without a doubt, because nothing else matters if you don't have faith.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: But then there's this tricky little thing that scripture talks about, which is acts, right?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Our acts, our activity, what we do, our faith in motion.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: And one of those things is being a good steward with the body that we've been given and with the life we've been giving.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I think there's this push and pull between having faith in God and giving everything over to him and letting him take control and being obedient.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: But then the other side of that is I don't believe, at least in my opinion and my view, take it for what it's worth, that we're to just pray about it, pray about our health, pray for long life, pray for emotional balance, whatever that looks like, and then just sit back and let God be in charge because we're on this earth and he wants us to be good stewards.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's where I think there's this beautiful combination of our faith first, and then how are we gonna put that faith into action in our life so that we can live really vibrantly and with a lot of energy and vitality?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: So that's where I am right now, and that's really what Stillwell Mama is about and Stillwell Podcast is about.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's what kind types of conversations I'll be bringing you each week.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I really want to hit on topics about physical health, whether that be workouts or strength training or nourishing our bodies properly, or I mean, there are just so many things we can talk about, sleep, hormones, menopause, the all of those things.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: There are so many things that go into physical health, but I also want to talk about emotional balance, things that we can do to be more steady.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: So whether that's taking quiet time, breathing techniques, that could be creating more margin in your day, that could be a morning routine, whatever it is that can have an impact, even week to week, stresses that come up, right?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, having adult kids, let's face it, man, I wish somebody would have told me that, and I talk about this with my friends all the time, but I I had this idea in mind that I don't know, it was like a puppies and rainbows idea when my kids were little, that, you know, those days that were stressful when they wouldn't sleep, or you were shuffling them around, chauffeuring, whatever that looked like.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: This just the days that you wanted to pull your hair out because they were throwing a fit or not sleeping well, or whatever it was.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: I had this idea in mind that they were going to grow up and go to college, and all of a sudden I was gonna have my own life and things would be nice and easy and I wouldn't have to worry so much.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that's like the exact opposite of what happens, at least from what I've seen.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: I actually feel like there's more stress now as a mother because they're older and they have bigger problems.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: They have real problems.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not worrying anymore about them going pee on the potty or sleeping through the night.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm worrying about things like are they gonna find the right spouse?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Are they gonna be happy in their career?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Are they gonna make good decisions?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: What if they like what about drugs?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, these are the things that I think about.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so just managing that stress week to week, what that looks like in real time.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Managing relationships with friends in this phase, which by the way, any of you besides me looking for maybe not as much quantity, but better quality, just friends that you can go deep with that really get you, that understand you, with your spouse.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, wow, there's a lot there too.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: I just think about, I know from me and my husband, we have a great relationship, but this season of life is really looking different for us.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: We, with the kids out, we have more time together, which is great.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: We have more time to have nice dinners together, to go out, to do things.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes it's also like, what are we gonna do?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And what's this next phase gonna look like?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's some reconnecting there too, right?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because so much of our time when the kids were little was spent with them and around them, and our life revolved around them.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And now that they're gone, and it's almost like we're getting to know each other again.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a lot of that too.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you something just because it's on my mind that I've been praying about lately, that I think God is really convicting me about with my spouse, is that I do not exercise good self-control.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think I can, I know I can be a little selfish and not super respectful.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm painting a bad picture here, but it's true.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I also have on my mind everything I want my spouse to be, but I don't necessarily stop and think about how I'm treating him.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been sort of convicted about instead of stewing on and being upset about all the things that you wish he was doing or how he would be, what if you flipped that brook and let go of those things and gave him grace and worked on being the spouse that he needs or worked on being the spouse that you want?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, there I said it.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I I would love to hear email me, please, and let me know what you think about that.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: You can get the email at the website if you want.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm really thinking through that a lot.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you what, I'm thinking about it.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing a good job of putting that into practice.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll just leave that right there.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: But but I I hope that the first step is thinking and then doing.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what's really on my heart.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: So conversations like that, conversations about relationships, and then definitely conversations about faith.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this again to me is the most important.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's the most important thing, faith.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And my faith has grown in the last year in ways that I could not have imagined, and mostly through pretty significant trials and struggles, um, which you 2025 was not Brooke's best year.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: 2026 has been much better.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I will tell you on the other side of that, it was a hard year.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I'll tell you, and I I know this I've known this in the past.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny though, how when you go through something hard, you forget.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: But really, the struggles and the trials in life are what make us the best versions of ourselves.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I've actually spoken about that and written about that in the past.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then when a trial and struggle comes, uh, you forget and wonder why you're going through it.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to see the blessings during that time.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, you come out on the other side stronger, and it definitely struggles, pushed me towards my faith and more towards God and towards Jesus, because sometimes that's all you can do is pray and spend time in quiet.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this season of life definitely pushes us more to that.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, going back to even just parenting older kids, there's so many things now that are completely out of our control.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: We can't watch their environment and make sure that it's safe because they're in very often different environments.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: We can't be sure that they're in a social situation we're in with them and making sure that they're safe and protected.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: It just, you know, it's a different phase of life.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think there's two approaches that I've had, and I know the one that works and the one that is just torturous.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: One of them is laying awake at night and just thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: And also then the next day following up and lecturing them, which they don't want to hear.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: The second is giving it over to God and staying in prayer and knowing that he loves my kids far more than I ever could, and giving myself a little grace and knowing that he chose me to be their mom because I'm the best person for the job.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: And also just seeking his guidance in this season of life and asking for stronger relationships with them.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: As, you know, for me, with three boys, it can be tricky too.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I don't have anything can to compare as far as girls because I don't have any daughters, but connecting with boys can be tricky.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I spend a lot of time in prayer about that too.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I find with faith, the more I can let those things go and not feel like I have to be perfect and get it all right or not have anyone else to lean on to help me through, the harder it is.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: So faith is just so important.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, so important, especially in this phase of life.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I I started to talk earlier about just even coming to grips with aging and our mortality and, you know, maybe more life being behind us than in front of us.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: Even that, that anxiety and those things that come up is just so freeing to lean in on your faith and know that whatever comes after this is even better.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: That perspective for me has been so helpful to remember to lean into like there's eternal life and there is heaven.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: There is something after this.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: This is not as good as it gets.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, this is far less than as good as it gets.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: So even as good as our life might be here, and to think about, you know, at one point that coming to an end, but it's going to be better.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: This is just a starting point.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, it's that that just brings me so much joy.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it also allows me to have a better perspective when things don't go my way or when things don't work out the way that I had hoped them to.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to be somebody who puts really high expectations on events and circumstances and also relationships and people in my life.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: And because I have high expectations, if it doesn't work out the way that I had hoped it would, then I'm disappointed, in despair, upset, you know, feeling bad about myself, feeling bad about all those things that come up.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And A, I realize that's really self-centered of me.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: The world doesn't revolve around me and everything doesn't always have to be perfect.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: But B, when I remember the perspective that this life isn't all there is, there's something far better coming.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: It allows me, it takes the pressure off of every moment having to be like amazing, or at least like the big moments that you plan, having to be amazing and everything have to go perfectly because that's not, that's not this life.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what this life was meant for.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean I don't want to have great memories and have great times with my kids and with my family and with my friends and be able to travel and do things.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: But when things don't work out exactly The way I wanted, or somebody doesn't show up for me the way that I had hoped they would, it's okay.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's life too.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think when I don't expect as much, it allows me to enjoy things even more, if that makes sense.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that was a big deal for me, especially turning 50, because I just had in mind of this like big celebration.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had always planned that I wanted to go to France and do the champagne taste tasting tour because I'm not much of a drinker, but if I do have a drink, it's usually champagne.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: It just I I like the taste, I enjoy it.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't, it doesn't bother me too much.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: At any rate, that was always on my mind.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: And that didn't work out this year, and that's okay.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I might sound maybe spoiled because maybe somebody is listening thinking, well, who gets to go to France for their 50th birthday?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: But so again, maybe I'm being spoiled.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: But the point is, it's okay that that didn't happen.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to switch my perspective and go, yeah, but Brooke, like, look what you do get to do.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I was hoping to be with my boys and they're running in different directions.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: One of them had to be out of state, the other one's got it's just things going on.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I was feeling bad about that too.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then I let go of the reins and said, you know what, it's not going to be perfect, but it's going to be as good as it can be.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: And whoever gets to be with me, whoever gets to be, I'm making it sound like, ooh, whoever gets to be with me, whoever is present at my birthday, it will be wonderful.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: And they will, it will be the people that was meant to be there, and it will be a great celebration.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what happened when I let go of the reins or wanting to control it or it'd be perfect?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, like within the next two weeks, it things worked out that all three of my boys are gonna be there, and it's gonna be a lovely time.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I had I not put so much expectations on I have to take this big trip, it has to be amazing, I have to have this, I have to do that, I would have saved myself so much uh trouble and heartache.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Can you guys relate to this?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe it's not a big trip to France, but anything, like a nice dinner out or a party, or just maybe wishing that your husband would put more attention towards it or help plan it, you know, that just those sorts of things.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: When we put our expectations too high, we're bound to be let down.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I think just sometimes it's important to A have grace for other people and grace for situations, and B, know that there's something better in the next life.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then C, make the best out of what you have.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: And man, be grateful for it.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's the other thing.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: I was spending so much time and I have the tendency to do that, looking at everything that's wrong, but I don't take the time to look at what's right.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: That I have this amazing family, that they're healthy, that I'm gonna spend time with my brother and sister-in-law, and my little nephew, and my husband is amazing and working so hard for all of that to happen.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: And gosh, like I'm so blessed and I miss it.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's ridiculous.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, those are just some thoughts that I have.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll see that I've got a lot of things going on in my brain and I talk a lot.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: I probably talk a little fast.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: I will work on that.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate your feedback.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: So please don't ever hesitate to email me with feedback on how I could do things better, feedback on things that you want to talk about, any questions that you might have.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: I could sit here and spend time about my background and my experience and all of those things, but I didn't really want to get on here and just sound like I was pumping myself up or, you know, this honestly, it seems weird to say this podcast is not about me, and then I'm sitting here talking about my life and my feelings.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, if you want to know more about my background and who I am, just go over to my website, click on the about tab, and you can get probably most of the information you need.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you want more, let me know and I'll give it to you.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm a mother who's in midlife, who's turning 50, who has three boys, two of them in college, one of them working their way there, married with two beautiful golden retriever puppies, not puppies anymore, dogs, and just figuring things out.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: Figuring out life, working on my health, physically and emotionally, staying grounded in God, my word for the year was abide and more than anything for my focus this year was to know Jesus more intimately and figure everything else out through that.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: And me, I think being a rehabilitated self-help person, if that makes sense, because I realize that focusing on self-growth and self-help and self-actualization is not what I want to do to make this next phase of life my best phase.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: I miss the mark because I'm then I'm making it all about me and what I can do.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth is, my life is not about me, it's about God.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it should be about what he can do because he created me.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't do that, and I don't know myself like God does.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that if I go down the path of self-actualization and vision boarding, and I I don't wanna, I don't want to turn anyone off or make anyone feel bad because no judgment here.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: But just from my own experience, what I'm starting to see is that I make it all about Brooke and what Brooke wants and what she can do to make her life better, and less about what God wants for me.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: And and he knows the best.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: His ways are not my ways, his thoughts are higher than mine.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: So why would I try to be doing that on my own?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's silly.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I also think that that leads me to pride.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Me, I'm not saying you, I don't want to put that on you, but me.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and self-centeredness.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm working on that too.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: And there will be for later conversations that I think that I have a lot more pride in my heart than I ever noticed.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, well, that was that's a tough one to deal with.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: That could be like 10 podcast episodes at least.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, the opposite of pride, I guess, is humility.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really working on being more humble and not the type of humble because I want other people to think I'm humble because I've done that too.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think you're getting a gauge right now through this conversation that I am a real work in progress, and you're gonna see a lot of that as we talk.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope we can learn from each other.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking so forward to these conversations with you.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: The podcast will drop once a week, and they'll likely typically be in real time.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's my plan because things change week to week, and I want to just share with you what's going on, what the landscape of life looks like, what I'm doing, what I'm feeling from God, what I'm reading in scripture, what I'm doing in my workouts, you know, foods that I'm eating, how I'm managing my day, have I added something new to my morning routine, those types of things, just to give you tips and and to see how one girl in midlife is doing it.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm traveling or something comes up, I will let you guys know and I'll probably I might have to stack a couple, in other words, record a couple ahead of time.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: But typically they'll be in real time and they'll be released once a week.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: And if you are subscribing to stay in contact and get updated information regularly, then you will get an email about the podcast when it drops and just a kind of general tidbits and advice from it.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: To do that, you can go to the website again, thestillwellmom.com.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to subscribe and stay in touch and know when new episodes drop.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's just about all I've got for you today.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let me think.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a little, it's like 4 50, and I always have big hopes for what I can accomplish in a day.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: And by the time I started to record this, I was really starting to feel like that afternoon crash.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't like to drink caffeine too late in the day because then it keeps me up, and we can have many conversations about sleep in this phase of life, at least for me.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure some of you are grappling with it too.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I had to grab some iced tea and try to wake myself up.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then when I sat down to talk to you, I feel like my mind is all over the place.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: So who knows what this is gonna be like.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: But this is real life.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is Brook in real time.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is midlife in real time.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to have a lot of filters here.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is not gonna be conversations where I've got something written out, everything thought well out and prepared.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: This is not gonna be prepared ahead of time.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a real conversation.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you enjoy it.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I hope you'll give me feedback.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you come back next week.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking forward to getting better at this and more vulnerable with this as we go.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking forward to being more awake the next time that we talk.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I shouldn't have picked this time to do my first episode, but I'm the person that likes to check a box.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll just share that I'm going to Florida next week.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm taking my youngest and a friend for a couple weeks.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's my birthday month, and he's just getting out of school.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna go down to Florida and we're gonna visit with some of my family there and my little baby nephew.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm living vicariously through my sister-in-law and him right now.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: You guys, he is the cutest, the absolute cutest baby you've ever seen.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um don't tell my boys I said that.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so I wanted to get the the podcast done.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, let me just jump in and do this and see how it goes.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: So here we are.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you guys have a great week.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Remember that you can choose stewardship over pressure and that you don't have to do midlife alone.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.