Latest / The Kaya Ramjee Show / Ep22 Your Self Story - Your biggest asset or your biggest asshole?

Transcript

Ep22 Your Self Story - Your biggest asset or your biggest asshole? · The Kaya Ramjee Show

• 0:00
  Kaya,
• 0:01
  I've
• 0:01
  been
• 0:01
  thinking
• 0:01
  about
• 0:01
  something
• 0:02
  that
• 0:02
  has
• 0:02
  really
• 0:03
  gained
• 0:04
  traction
• 0:04
  in
• 0:04
  my
• 0:04
  brain
• 0:05
  over
• 0:05
  the
• 0:05
  last
• 0:05
  12
• 0:06
  months,
• 0:06
  which
• 0:06
  is
• 0:07
  this
• 0:07
  idea
• 0:08
  of
• 0:08
  our
• 0:08
  own
• 0:08
  self
• 0:09
  story
• 0:10
  So
• 0:11
  the
• 0:11
  self
• 0:11
  story
• 0:12
  it's
• 0:12
  basically
• 0:12
  the
• 0:12
  words
• 0:13
  that
• 0:13
  we
• 0:13
  tell
• 0:13
  ourselves
• 0:14
  about
• 0:14
  who
• 0:14
  we
• 0:14
  are.
• 0:16
  What
• 0:17
  our
• 0:17
  capabilities
• 0:17
  are,
• 0:18
  what
• 0:18
  our
• 0:18
  potential
• 0:19
  is,
• 0:19
  what
• 0:19
  our
• 0:19
  level
• 0:20
  of
• 0:20
  competence.
• 0:21
  I've
• 0:21
  been
• 0:21
  reading
• 0:22
  up
• 0:22
  a
• 0:22
  lot
• 0:22
  about
• 0:22
  it.
• 0:22
  I've
• 0:22
  been
• 0:23
  learning
• 0:23
  a
• 0:23
  lot
• 0:23
  about
• 0:23
  it
• 0:23
  and
• 0:24
  it's
• 0:24
  the
• 0:24
  biggest
• 0:25
  precursor
• 0:26
  to
• 0:26
  our
• 0:26
  success.
• 0:27
  Is
• 0:27
  the
• 0:27
  story
• 0:28
  that
• 0:28
  we
• 0:28
  tell
• 0:28
  ourselves.
• 0:30
  The
• 0:30
  thing
• 0:30
  is
• 0:30
  though,
• 0:31
  we
• 0:31
  can
• 0:32
  have
• 0:32
  a
• 0:32
  negative
• 0:33
  self
• 0:33
  story
• 0:33
  that's
• 0:34
  actually
• 0:34
  hurting
• 0:34
  us,
• 0:35
  or
• 0:35
  we
• 0:35
  can
• 0:35
  have
• 0:35
  a
• 0:35
  positive
• 0:36
  one
• 0:36
  that's
• 0:37
  moving
• 0:37
  us
• 0:37
  forward.
• 0:38
  The
• 0:38
  thing
• 0:39
  about
• 0:39
  a
• 0:39
  self
• 0:39
  story
• 0:40
  is,
• 0:40
  it
• 0:40
  can
• 0:41
  be
• 0:41
  changed.
• 0:42
  And
• 0:42
  I
• 0:42
  feel
• 0:42
  that
• 0:43
  you
• 0:43
  and
• 0:43
  I,
• 0:43
  the
• 0:44
  level
• 0:44
  of
• 0:44
  growth
• 0:44
  that
• 0:44
  we've
• 0:44
  had
• 0:45
  over
• 0:45
  the
• 0:45
  last
• 0:45
  year,
• 0:45
  we
• 0:46
  have
• 0:46
  started
• 0:46
  to
• 0:46
  shift
• 0:47
  our
• 0:47
  self
• 0:47
  stories.
• 0:49
  And
• 0:49
  that's
• 0:49
  why
• 0:50
  I
• 0:50
  want
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  share
• 0:50
  with
• 0:50
  people
• 0:51
  how
• 0:51
  we
• 0:51
  did
• 0:51
  it,
• 0:52
  what
• 0:52
  we've
• 0:52
  done.
• 0:53
  Why
• 0:53
  is
• 0:53
  a
• 0:53
  self
• 0:54
  story
• 0:54
  so
• 0:54
  important
• 0:55
  and
• 0:55
  to
• 0:55
  get
• 0:55
  people
• 0:56
  really
• 0:56
  thinking
• 0:56
  about
• 0:57
  what
• 0:57
  are
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  words
• 0:57
  that
• 0:57
  I'm
• 0:58
  telling
• 0:58
  myself,
• 0:58
  what
• 0:58
  is
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  identity
• 0:59
  that
• 0:59
  I
• 1:00
  built
• 1:00
  for
• 1:00
  myself
• 1:00
  in
• 1:00
  my
• 1:01
  head
• 1:02
  that's
• 1:02
  helping
• 1:02
  me
• 1:02
  a
• 1:03
  achieve
• 1:03
  my
• 1:03
  goals
• 1:04
  or
• 1:04
  actually.
• 1:05
  Tell
• 1:06
  myself
• 1:06
  that
• 1:06
  I
• 1:06
  can't
• 1:06
  do
• 1:07
  it
• 1:07
  and
• 1:07
  I,
• 1:07
  don't
• 1:08
  have
• 1:08
  that
• 1:08
  natural
• 1:09
  ability,
• 1:09
  which
• 1:09
  we
• 1:09
  all
• 1:10
  know
• 1:10
  is
• 1:10
  complete
• 1:10
  bullshit.
• 1:11
  If
• 1:11
  you
• 1:12
  look
• 1:12
  at
• 1:13
  fighters,
• 1:14
  Navy
• 1:14
  SEALs,
• 1:15
  athletes,
• 1:17
  it's
• 1:17
  less
• 1:17
  to
• 1:18
  do
• 1:18
  with
• 1:18
  their
• 1:19
  physical
• 1:20
  abilities.
• 1:20
  It's
• 1:21
  less
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  do
• 1:21
  with
• 1:21
  things
• 1:22
  like
• 1:22
  IQ.
• 1:22
  They've
• 1:23
  actually
• 1:23
  done
• 1:23
  a
• 1:23
  lot
• 1:23
  of
• 1:24
  tests
• 1:24
  on
• 1:24
  Navy
• 1:24
  SEALs,
• 1:25
  ones
• 1:25
  who
• 1:25
  are
• 1:25
  most
• 1:26
  successful.
• 1:26
  And.
• 1:27
  The
• 1:27
  ones
• 1:28
  who
• 1:28
  have,
• 1:28
  the
• 1:28
  best
• 1:29
  muscle
• 1:29
  density
• 1:30
  and
• 1:30
  they
• 1:30
  do
• 1:30
  best
• 1:30
  in,
• 1:31
  in
• 1:31
  a
• 1:31
  lot
• 1:31
  of
• 1:31
  the
• 1:32
  the
• 1:32
  physical
• 1:33
  exercises.
• 1:34
  They
• 1:34
  don't
• 1:34
  do
• 1:35
  as
• 1:35
  well
• 1:35
  as
• 1:35
  people
• 1:35
  who
• 1:36
  have
• 1:36
  very
• 1:37
  high
• 1:37
  levels
• 1:37
  of
• 1:37
  grit
• 1:38
  and
• 1:38
  mental
• 1:38
  toughness.
• 1:39
  So
• 1:39
  the
• 1:40
  level
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  grit
• 1:40
  that
• 1:40
  you
• 1:40
  have
• 1:41
  and
• 1:41
  the
• 1:41
  level
• 1:41
  of
• 1:41
  resilience
• 1:42
  is
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  biggest
• 1:42
  precursor
• 1:43
  of
• 1:43
  whether
• 1:43
  you're
• 1:43
  going
• 1:43
  to
• 1:43
  be
• 1:44
  successful
• 1:44
  in
• 1:44
  these
• 1:45
  areas
• 1:45
  or
• 1:45
  not.
• 1:46
  And
• 1:47
  so
• 1:47
  the
• 1:47
  thing
• 1:47
  is
• 1:47
  that
• 1:48
  we
• 1:48
  can't.
• 1:49
  Change
• 1:49
  our
• 1:49
  beliefs
• 1:50
  overnight.
• 1:51
  If
• 1:51
  someone
• 1:51
  comes
• 1:52
  to
• 1:52
  you
• 1:52
  and
• 1:52
  says
• 1:53
  Kaya,
• 1:53
  I
• 1:54
  want
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  to
• 1:54
  believe
• 1:55
  that
• 1:55
  the
• 1:55
  world
• 1:55
  is
• 1:55
  black.
• 1:56
  You're
• 1:56
  not
• 1:56
  going
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  believe
• 1:57
  that.
• 1:58
  And
• 1:58
  so
• 1:58
  everybody
• 2:00
  who
• 2:00
  thought
• 2:00
  that
• 2:00
  the
• 2:00
  world
• 2:01
  was
• 2:01
  flat.
• 2:01
  They
• 2:02
  believed
• 2:02
  that.
• 2:02
  And,
• 2:03
  people
• 2:03
  coming
• 2:03
  out
• 2:03
  and
• 2:04
  saying
• 2:04
  that
• 2:04
  the
• 2:04
  world
• 2:04
  was
• 2:04
  round.
• 2:04
  They,
• 2:05
  they
• 2:05
  didn't
• 2:06
  believe
• 2:06
  that.
• 2:06
  It
• 2:06
  was
• 2:06
  only
• 2:07
  when
• 2:07
  they
• 2:07
  were
• 2:07
  shown
• 2:07
  evidence.
• 2:09
  So
• 2:09
  evidence
• 2:09
  is
• 2:09
  how
• 2:10
  we
• 2:10
  start
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  change
• 2:11
  our
• 2:11
  beliefs.
• 2:12
  And
• 2:12
  how
• 2:12
  do
• 2:12
  you
• 2:13
  give
• 2:13
  yourself
• 2:13
  evidence?
• 2:14
  It's
• 2:14
  by
• 2:15
  actually
• 2:17
  changing
• 2:17
  your
• 2:17
  behaviors.
• 2:18
  It's
• 2:18
  doing
• 2:18
  little
• 2:19
  things
• 2:19
  that
• 2:19
  are
• 2:19
  giving
• 2:20
  you
• 2:20
  little
• 2:20
  pieces
• 2:20
  of
• 2:21
  evidence
• 2:21
  every
• 2:21
  single
• 2:22
  day.
• 2:24
  You
• 2:24
  could
• 2:24
  do
• 2:25
  this.
• 2:26
  And
• 2:26
  like
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  problem
• 2:27
  with
• 2:27
  our
• 2:28
  self
• 2:28
  stories
• 2:28
  is
• 2:28
  that
• 2:28
  it's
• 2:29
  massively
• 2:29
  influenced
• 2:30
  by
• 2:31
  past
• 2:31
  generations.
• 2:32
  So
• 2:32
  if
• 2:32
  you
• 2:33
  think
• 2:33
  about
• 2:35
  family
• 2:35
  sayings
• 2:36
  like
• 2:36
  money
• 2:36
  doesn't
• 2:37
  grow
• 2:37
  on
• 2:37
  trees.
• 2:38
  These
• 2:39
  little
• 2:39
  sayings
• 2:39
  can
• 2:40
  become
• 2:40
  part
• 2:40
  of
• 2:40
  your
• 2:40
  identity,
• 2:41
  whether
• 2:41
  they're
• 2:42
  yours
• 2:42
  or
• 2:42
  whether
• 2:42
  they're
• 2:43
  things
• 2:43
  that
• 2:43
  you've
• 2:43
  taken
• 2:44
  on
• 2:44
  from
• 2:44
  previous
• 2:45
  generations,
• 2:45
  they're
• 2:45
  going
• 2:46
  to
• 2:46
  influence
• 2:46
  what
• 2:46
  you
• 2:46
  think
• 2:47
  about
• 2:47
  yourself.
• 2:48
  So
• 2:49
  tell
• 2:49
  us
• 2:49
  about
• 2:49
  yourself
• 2:50
  story.
• 2:50
  What
• 2:51
  self
• 2:51
  stories
• 2:51
  would
• 2:51
  you
• 2:52
  have?
• 2:53
  This
• 2:54
  is
• 2:54
  a
• 2:54
  really
• 2:54
  interesting
• 2:55
  topic
• 2:55
  and
• 2:55
  it's
• 2:55
  something
• 2:56
  very
• 2:56
  close
• 2:56
  to
• 2:57
  my
• 2:57
  heart.
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  actually
• 2:58
  have
• 2:58
  a
• 2:58
  slightly
• 2:58
  different
• 2:59
  take
• 2:59
  on
• 2:59
  it
• 2:59
  to
• 2:59
  you.
• 3:00
  I
• 3:00
  think
• 3:00
  that
• 3:01
  there's
• 3:01
  two
• 3:01
  ways
• 3:02
  in
• 3:02
  which
• 3:02
  you
• 3:02
  can
• 3:02
  change
• 3:02
  your
• 3:02
  beliefs.
• 3:03
  I
• 3:03
  think
• 3:03
  you
• 3:03
  can
• 3:04
  change
• 3:04
  your
• 3:04
  beliefs
• 3:04
  in
• 3:04
  an
• 3:05
  instant
• 3:06
  and
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  think
• 3:06
  you
• 3:06
  can
• 3:07
  change
• 3:07
  your
• 3:07
  beliefs
• 3:08
  through
• 3:08
  evidence
• 3:09
  over
• 3:09
  time.
• 3:10
  I
• 3:10
  like
• 3:11
  it.
• 3:11
  Tell
• 3:11
  me
• 3:11
  how
• 3:11
  you
• 3:11
  can
• 3:11
  do
• 3:12
  it
• 3:12
  instantly.
• 3:13
  I
• 3:13
  think
• 3:13
  that
• 3:13
  essentially
• 3:14
  your
• 3:15
  mind
• 3:15
  can
• 3:15
  be
• 3:15
  changed
• 3:16
  in
• 3:16
  an
• 3:16
  instant.
• 3:17
  The
• 3:17
  minute
• 3:18
  that
• 3:18
  you
• 3:18
  see
• 3:18
  something
• 3:19
  that
• 3:20
  would
• 3:20
  disprove
• 3:21
  your
• 3:22
  previous
• 3:22
  belief,
• 3:24
  or
• 3:24
  you
• 3:24
  feel
• 3:25
  something
• 3:26
  that
• 3:26
  would
• 3:26
  disprove
• 3:27
  your
• 3:27
  previous
• 3:27
  belief
• 3:29
  in
• 3:29
  an
• 3:29
  instant
• 3:29
  that
• 3:29
  will
• 3:30
  change.
• 3:30
  So
• 3:30
  for
• 3:30
  example,
• 3:31
  if
• 3:31
  you,
• 3:32
  if
• 3:32
  let's
• 3:32
  say
• 3:32
  you
• 3:33
  went
• 3:34
  through
• 3:34
  a
• 3:34
  divorce.
• 3:35
  Yeah.
• 3:35
  And
• 3:35
  you
• 3:35
  thought
• 3:36
  I'm
• 3:37
  never
• 3:37
  going
• 3:37
  to
• 3:37
  meet
• 3:37
  anyone
• 3:37
  again.
• 3:38
  Yeah.
• 3:39
  The
• 3:39
  minute
• 3:39
  that
• 3:40
  you
• 3:40
  felt
• 3:40
  a
• 3:41
  chemistry
• 3:41
  and
• 3:41
  a
• 3:41
  spark
• 3:42
  with
• 3:42
  somebody,
• 3:43
  your
• 3:43
  belief
• 3:44
  about
• 3:44
  what
• 3:44
  was
• 3:44
  possible
• 3:45
  would
• 3:45
  change
• 3:45
  in
• 3:45
  that
• 3:45
  instant.
• 3:46
  But
• 3:47
  I
• 3:47
  know,
• 3:48
  and
• 3:48
  I
• 3:48
  completely
• 3:48
  agree
• 3:49
  with
• 3:49
  you,
• 3:49
  but
• 3:49
  that
• 3:49
  is
• 3:50
  you
• 3:50
  getting
• 3:50
  evidence.
• 3:52
  That's
• 3:53
  you
• 3:53
  getting
• 3:53
  evidence
• 3:53
  that
• 3:54
  there's
• 3:54
  something.
• 3:55
  different
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  what
• 3:56
  you
• 3:56
  believed
• 3:57
  is
• 3:57
  possible.
• 3:58
  Exactly.
• 3:58
  But
• 3:59
  I
• 3:59
  think
• 3:59
  that
• 3:59
  there's
• 3:59
  two
• 3:59
  ways
• 4:00
  that
• 4:00
  can
• 4:00
  happen.
• 4:00
  So
• 4:00
  you
• 4:01
  can
• 4:01
  build
• 4:01
  the
• 4:01
  evidence
• 4:02
  yourself
• 4:03
  for
• 4:03
  example,
• 4:03
  a
• 4:03
  classic
• 4:04
  belief
• 4:04
  for
• 4:04
  me,
• 4:04
  that's
• 4:04
  been
• 4:05
  a
• 4:05
  huge
• 4:05
  shift
• 4:06
  is
• 4:06
  that
• 4:06
  I'm
• 4:06
  disciplined.
• 4:07
  That's
• 4:07
  not
• 4:08
  an
• 4:08
  identity
• 4:08
  that
• 4:08
  I
• 4:08
  had
• 4:09
  as
• 4:09
  a
• 4:09
  child.
• 4:09
  That's
• 4:09
  something
• 4:10
  that
• 4:10
  I've
• 4:10
  cultivated
• 4:11
  and
• 4:11
  I've
• 4:11
  done
• 4:12
  that
• 4:12
  through
• 4:12
  consistently
• 4:13
  showing
• 4:13
  up
• 4:14
  consistently
• 4:15
  being
• 4:15
  disciplined
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  creating
• 4:17
  that
• 4:17
  as
• 4:17
  a.
• 4:18
  Story
• 4:18
  through
• 4:19
  the
• 4:19
  behavior
• 4:20
  of
• 4:20
  being
• 4:20
  disciplined.
• 4:22
  But
• 4:22
  for
• 4:23
  example,
• 4:24
  I
• 4:24
  have
• 4:25
  had
• 4:25
  a
• 4:25
  healing
• 4:26
  coaching
• 4:26
  session
• 4:27
  where
• 4:27
  in
• 4:27
  one
• 4:28
  insight,
• 4:29
  I've
• 4:29
  had
• 4:29
  an
• 4:29
  insight
• 4:30
  in
• 4:30
  a
• 4:30
  coaching
• 4:31
  session
• 4:32
  that's
• 4:32
  changed
• 4:32
  everything.
• 4:33
  And
• 4:33
  I
• 4:33
  think
• 4:34
  that,
• 4:34
  I
• 4:34
  see
• 4:34
  that
• 4:35
  with
• 4:35
  my
• 4:35
  clients.
• 4:36
  Rich
• 4:36
  Litvin
• 4:36
  talks
• 4:37
  about
• 4:37
  insight
• 4:37
  coaching.
• 4:38
  And
• 4:38
  that
• 4:39
  in
• 4:39
  one
• 4:39
  insight,
• 4:40
  everything
• 4:40
  changes.
• 4:41
  So
• 4:41
  I
• 4:41
  also
• 4:42
  think
• 4:42
  that
• 4:42
  your
• 4:43
  ability
• 4:43
  to
• 4:43
  have
• 4:44
  a
• 4:44
  shift
• 4:44
  in
• 4:44
  the
• 4:44
  way
• 4:45
  that
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  perceive
• 4:45
  things
• 4:47
  can
• 4:47
  create
• 4:47
  a
• 4:47
  new
• 4:48
  reality
• 4:48
  for
• 4:48
  you
• 4:49
  and
• 4:49
  a
• 4:49
  new
• 4:49
  identity
• 4:50
  for
• 4:50
  yourself,
• 4:50
  because
• 4:51
  and
• 4:52
  as
• 4:52
  you
• 4:52
  were
• 4:52
  talking,
• 4:52
  then
• 4:53
  what
• 4:53
  I
• 4:53
  was
• 4:53
  thinking,
• 4:53
  as
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  were
• 4:54
  saying
• 4:54
  that,
• 4:55
  grit
• 4:55
  and
• 4:55
  resilience
• 4:56
  are
• 4:56
  the
• 4:57
  key
• 4:58
  precursors
• 4:58
  to
• 4:59
  determining
• 5:00
  whether
• 5:00
  somebody
• 5:00
  is
• 5:00
  going
• 5:00
  to
• 5:00
  be
• 5:00
  successful.
• 5:02
  Having
• 5:02
  an
• 5:02
  insight
• 5:04
  about
• 5:04
  an
• 5:04
  experience
• 5:05
  that
• 5:05
  you
• 5:05
  had
• 5:06
  in
• 5:06
  your
• 5:06
  earlier
• 5:06
  life,
• 5:07
  which,
• 5:08
  up
• 5:08
  until
• 5:09
  this
• 5:09
  point
• 5:09
  has
• 5:09
  always
• 5:10
  been
• 5:10
  something
• 5:10
  that
• 5:11
  you've
• 5:11
  dipped
• 5:11
  into
• 5:12
  and
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  felt
• 5:12
  traumatized
• 5:13
  by
• 5:13
  or
• 5:13
  something,
• 5:14
  when
• 5:14
  you
• 5:14
  get
• 5:15
  to
• 5:15
  a
• 5:15
  point
• 5:15
  where,
• 5:16
  Something
• 5:16
  happens
• 5:16
  and
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  have
• 5:17
  a
• 5:17
  shift
• 5:17
  where
• 5:18
  you
• 5:18
  suddenly
• 5:18
  realize
• 5:19
  either
• 5:19
  through
• 5:20
  helping
• 5:20
  somebody
• 5:21
  or,
• 5:21
  being
• 5:22
  in
• 5:22
  a
• 5:22
  coaching
• 5:22
  session
• 5:22
  yourself
• 5:23
  or
• 5:23
  doing
• 5:23
  some
• 5:24
  journaling.
• 5:24
  You
• 5:25
  realize
• 5:25
  that
• 5:25
  this
• 5:26
  situation
• 5:27
  created
• 5:27
  the
• 5:27
  conditions
• 5:28
  for
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  to
• 5:29
  build
• 5:29
  resilience,
• 5:30
  basically
• 5:30
  for
• 5:31
  you
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  become
• 5:31
  the
• 5:31
  person
• 5:32
  that
• 5:32
  you
• 5:32
  are,
• 5:33
  that
• 5:33
  changes
• 5:34
  everything.
• 5:35
  No.
• 5:35
  And
• 5:35
  you're
• 5:35
  right.
• 5:35
  And
• 5:36
  that
• 5:36
  is
• 5:36
  the
• 5:36
  beauty
• 5:36
  of
• 5:36
  coaching
• 5:37
  that
• 5:37
  when
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  do
• 5:38
  have
• 5:38
  that
• 5:39
  moment
• 5:39
  of
• 5:40
  insight
• 5:40
  or
• 5:40
  you
• 5:40
  have
• 5:40
  that
• 5:41
  breakthrough,
• 5:41
  you
• 5:42
  go,
• 5:42
  Oh
• 5:42
  my
• 5:42
  God,
• 5:42
  this
• 5:42
  is
• 5:43
  something
• 5:43
  that
• 5:43
  I
• 5:43
  can
• 5:43
  do,
• 5:44
  I
• 5:44
  work
• 5:44
  with
• 5:44
  a
• 5:44
  lot
• 5:44
  of
• 5:44
  family
• 5:45
  run
• 5:45
  businesses
• 5:46
  and
• 5:46
  there's
• 5:46
  a
• 5:46
  lot
• 5:46
  of
• 5:46
  tension
• 5:47
  between
• 5:47
  the
• 5:49
  founding
• 5:49
  generation
• 5:50
  who
• 5:50
  set
• 5:50
  up
• 5:50
  the
• 5:50
  business
• 5:51
  and
• 5:51
  then
• 5:51
  their
• 5:51
  offspring
• 5:52
  who
• 5:52
  are
• 5:52
  starting
• 5:52
  to
• 5:53
  take
• 5:53
  over
• 5:53
  the
• 5:53
  business
• 5:54
  and
• 5:55
  what
• 5:55
  they
• 5:55
  want
• 5:55
  to
• 5:55
  create
• 5:56
  versus
• 5:56
  what
• 5:56
  has
• 5:57
  already
• 5:57
  been
• 5:57
  created.
• 5:58
  And
• 5:59
  one
• 5:59
  thing
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  like
• 6:00
  to
• 6:00
  do
• 6:00
  is
• 6:00
  to
• 6:01
  show
• 6:01
  them
• 6:01
  that
• 6:02
  both
• 6:02
  generations
• 6:03
  have
• 6:03
  a
• 6:03
  level
• 6:04
  of
• 6:04
  genius
• 6:04
  because
• 6:05
  they
• 6:05
  grew
• 6:05
  up
• 6:05
  in
• 6:05
  completely
• 6:06
  different
• 6:06
  circumstances,
• 6:07
  and
• 6:07
  for
• 6:08
  the
• 6:08
  parent
• 6:08
  generation,
• 6:09
  they
• 6:09
  understand
• 6:10
  relationships,
• 6:10
  they
• 6:10
  understand,
• 6:12
  service
• 6:13
  they've
• 6:13
  had
• 6:13
  these
• 6:13
  old
• 6:14
  school
• 6:15
  values
• 6:15
  and
• 6:15
  these
• 6:16
  old
• 6:16
  school
• 6:16
  relationships
• 6:16
  with
• 6:17
  their
• 6:17
  customers.
• 6:17
  And
• 6:17
  then
• 6:18
  you
• 6:18
  have
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  younger
• 6:18
  generation
• 6:19
  that
• 6:19
  are
• 6:19
  much
• 6:19
  more
• 6:19
  tech
• 6:19
  savvy,
• 6:20
  that
• 6:20
  are
• 6:20
  much
• 6:20
  more
• 6:21
  Into
• 6:22
  rather
• 6:22
  than
• 6:22
  it
• 6:22
  being
• 6:23
  hard
• 6:23
  sales,
• 6:23
  they're
• 6:23
  into
• 6:24
  marketing
• 6:24
  and
• 6:24
  they're
• 6:25
  into
• 6:25
  those
• 6:25
  value
• 6:25
  drivers.
• 6:26
  And
• 6:26
  I,
• 6:26
  I
• 6:26
  always
• 6:27
  try
• 6:27
  and
• 6:27
  see,
• 6:28
  imagine
• 6:28
  you
• 6:28
  were
• 6:28
  to
• 6:28
  bring
• 6:29
  these
• 6:29
  areas
• 6:29
  of
• 6:29
  genius
• 6:30
  together,
• 6:30
  what
• 6:30
  your
• 6:30
  business
• 6:31
  could
• 6:31
  be.
• 6:32
  And
• 6:32
  in
• 6:32
  that
• 6:32
  moment,
• 6:33
  you
• 6:33
  do
• 6:33
  get
• 6:33
  that
• 6:34
  shift.
• 6:34
  Such
• 6:35
  a
• 6:35
  great
• 6:35
  example.
• 6:36
  That
• 6:36
  it's
• 6:36
  I
• 6:36
  don't
• 6:37
  need
• 6:37
  to
• 6:37
  fight
• 6:37
  this
• 6:38
  person.
• 6:38
  I
• 6:39
  can
• 6:39
  actually
• 6:40
  leverage
• 6:40
  what
• 6:40
  they
• 6:41
  have
• 6:41
  and
• 6:42
  bring
• 6:42
  together
• 6:42
  what
• 6:43
  I
• 6:43
  have.
• 6:43
  And
• 6:43
  then
• 6:43
  we're
• 6:43
  going
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  make
• 6:44
  it
• 6:44
  so
• 6:44
  much
• 6:44
  better.
• 6:46
  And
• 6:46
  that's
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  perfect
• 6:46
  example
• 6:47
  of
• 6:47
  those
• 6:48
  two
• 6:48
  factions
• 6:49
  of
• 6:49
  the
• 6:49
  business
• 6:50
  having
• 6:50
  that
• 6:50
  insight,
• 6:51
  which
• 6:52
  changes
• 6:52
  everything
• 6:53
  where
• 6:53
  they're
• 6:53
  like,
• 6:53
  we
• 6:53
  don't
• 6:54
  need
• 6:54
  the
• 6:54
  same
• 6:54
  zone
• 6:54
  of
• 6:55
  genius
• 6:56
  together.
• 6:56
  Those
• 6:57
  two
• 6:57
  zones
• 6:57
  are
• 6:58
  more
• 6:58
  powerful
• 6:59
  than
• 6:59
  they
• 6:59
  are
• 6:59
  individually.
• 7:01
  Exactly.
• 7:01
  And
• 7:01
  it
• 7:01
  shifts
• 7:02
  the
• 7:02
  self
• 7:02
  story
• 7:03
  of.
• 7:03
  Both
• 7:04
  people
• 7:05
  in
• 7:05
  that
• 7:05
  moment,
• 7:05
  which
• 7:06
  is
• 7:06
  this
• 7:06
  person
• 7:06
  is
• 7:06
  holding
• 7:06
  me
• 7:07
  back
• 7:07
  or
• 7:07
  this
• 7:08
  person
• 7:08
  is
• 7:08
  a
• 7:09
  dead
• 7:09
  weight
• 7:09
  or
• 7:09
  whatever
• 7:10
  to,
• 7:10
  Oh
• 7:11
  my
• 7:11
  God,
• 7:11
  this
• 7:11
  person
• 7:11
  is
• 7:12
  actually
• 7:12
  helping
• 7:13
  me
• 7:13
  create
• 7:13
  something
• 7:13
  that's
• 7:14
  really
• 7:14
  unique
• 7:14
  and
• 7:14
  so
• 7:15
  much
• 7:15
  better
• 7:15
  than
• 7:15
  if
• 7:16
  I
• 7:16
  was
• 7:16
  doing
• 7:16
  it
• 7:16
  on
• 7:16
  my
• 7:16
  own.
• 7:17
  Exactly.
• 7:18
  But
• 7:18
  what
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  have
• 7:18
  found,
• 7:18
  especially
• 7:19
  in
• 7:19
  this
• 7:19
  year
• 7:20
  is
• 7:20
  that
• 7:21
  I
• 7:21
  very
• 7:22
  much
• 7:22
  suffered
• 7:22
  from
• 7:22
  perfectionism
• 7:23
  that
• 7:23
  everything
• 7:23
  had
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  be
• 7:24
  perfect
• 7:24
  before
• 7:24
  I
• 7:24
  executed.
• 7:25
  And
• 7:26
  that
• 7:26
  was
• 7:26
  a
• 7:26
  real
• 7:26
  part
• 7:27
  of
• 7:27
  my
• 7:27
  self
• 7:28
  story.
• 7:30
  And
• 7:30
  it
• 7:30
  was
• 7:30
  only
• 7:31
  through
• 7:32
  finding
• 7:32
  the
• 7:33
  beauty
• 7:33
  in
• 7:33
  the
• 7:34
  messiness
• 7:35
  and
• 7:35
  going
• 7:35
  out
• 7:35
  and
• 7:36
  actually
• 7:37
  failing
• 7:38
  and
• 7:38
  making
• 7:39
  mistakes
• 7:39
  and
• 7:39
  messing
• 7:40
  up
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  I
• 7:40
  realized
• 7:41
  that
• 7:42
  is
• 7:42
  how
• 7:42
  I
• 7:42
  was
• 7:42
  going
• 7:42
  to
• 7:42
  make
• 7:43
  things
• 7:43
  so
• 7:43
  much
• 7:44
  better.
• 7:44
  So
• 7:44
  it
• 7:45
  was
• 7:45
  the
• 7:45
  behavior
• 7:46
  of
• 7:46
  stepping
• 7:47
  out
• 7:47
  of
• 7:47
  my
• 7:47
  comfort
• 7:47
  zone.
• 7:48
  And
• 7:48
  that's
• 7:48
  where
• 7:49
  I
• 7:49
  started
• 7:49
  to
• 7:49
  learn.
• 7:50
  And
• 7:51
  it's
• 7:52
  by
• 7:52
  actually
• 7:53
  getting
• 7:53
  out
• 7:53
  of
• 7:53
  my
• 7:53
  comfort
• 7:53
  zone
• 7:54
  more
• 7:54
  and
• 7:54
  more.
• 7:54
  I
• 7:55
  realized
• 7:55
  that
• 7:55
  I
• 7:55
  actually
• 7:55
  like
• 7:56
  being
• 7:56
  there
• 7:57
  because
• 7:57
  that's
• 7:57
  where
• 7:58
  growth
• 7:58
  comes
• 7:58
  from,
• 7:58
  but
• 7:59
  that
• 8:00
  was
• 8:00
  never
• 8:00
  part
• 8:01
  of
• 8:01
  my
• 8:01
  self
• 8:01
  story
• 8:01
  until
• 8:02
  I
• 8:02
  started
• 8:02
  to
• 8:02
  take
• 8:03
  those
• 8:03
  little
• 8:03
  actions
• 8:03
  every
• 8:04
  single
• 8:04
  day
• 8:04
  and
• 8:04
  it
• 8:05
  wasn't
• 8:05
  about
• 8:05
  a
• 8:05
  big
• 8:06
  action
• 8:06
  to
• 8:06
  take
• 8:06
  in
• 8:06
  once.
• 8:07
  It
• 8:07
  was
• 8:07
  these
• 8:07
  little
• 8:08
  things
• 8:08
  that
• 8:08
  just
• 8:08
  slowly
• 8:09
  got
• 8:09
  me
• 8:09
  out
• 8:09
  of
• 8:10
  my
• 8:10
  comfort
• 8:10
  zone
• 8:10
  realizing
• 8:11
  that
• 8:12
  the
• 8:12
  world
• 8:12
  wasn't
• 8:13
  going
• 8:13
  to
• 8:13
  end.
• 8:13
  Realizing
• 8:14
  that
• 8:15
  really
• 8:15
  it
• 8:15
  was
• 8:15
  me
• 8:16
  that
• 8:16
  noticed
• 8:16
  it
• 8:16
  more
• 8:17
  than
• 8:17
  the
• 8:17
  client
• 8:17
  noticed
• 8:18
  it
• 8:18
  and
• 8:18
  then
• 8:19
  By
• 8:20
  realizing
• 8:20
  I'd
• 8:20
  gone
• 8:20
  that
• 8:21
  little
• 8:21
  bit
• 8:21
  too
• 8:21
  far,
• 8:22
  say
• 8:22
  with
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  client,
• 8:22
  for
• 8:23
  example,
• 8:23
  when
• 8:23
  I
• 8:23
  got
• 8:24
  a
• 8:24
  client
• 8:24
  to
• 8:24
  do
• 8:24
  breathing
• 8:25
  exercises,
• 8:25
  cause
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  was
• 8:26
  trying
• 8:26
  to
• 8:26
  get
• 8:26
  them
• 8:26
  into
• 8:26
  a
• 8:26
  positive
• 8:27
  headspace
• 8:28
  and
• 8:28
  realizing
• 8:28
  that
• 8:29
  was
• 8:29
  too
• 8:29
  far
• 8:30
  for
• 8:30
  Irish
• 8:31
  food
• 8:31
  producers.
• 8:32
  But
• 8:32
  it
• 8:32
  was
• 8:32
  like
• 8:32
  in
• 8:33
  that
• 8:33
  moment,
• 8:33
  I
• 8:34
  realized
• 8:34
  how
• 8:35
  far
• 8:35
  I
• 8:35
  could
• 8:35
  take
• 8:36
  it
• 8:36
  with
• 8:36
  the
• 8:36
  coaching,
• 8:37
  I
• 8:37
  wouldn't
• 8:37
  have
• 8:37
  found
• 8:38
  that
• 8:38
  out
• 8:38
  had
• 8:38
  I
• 8:38
  not
• 8:38
  gone
• 8:39
  too
• 8:39
  far,
• 8:39
  yeah.
• 8:40
  Yeah.
• 8:41
  So
• 8:41
  what
• 8:41
  are
• 8:42
  the
• 8:42
  stories
• 8:42
  that
• 8:42
  we're
• 8:42
  telling
• 8:43
  ourselves
• 8:43
  that
• 8:44
  are
• 8:45
  helping
• 8:45
  us?
• 8:45
  And
• 8:46
  what
• 8:46
  are
• 8:46
  the
• 8:46
  stories
• 8:46
  that
• 8:46
  are
• 8:47
  telling
• 8:47
  us
• 8:48
  we're
• 8:48
  having
• 8:48
  ourselves
• 8:48
  that
• 8:49
  aren't,
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  something
• 8:49
  that
• 8:50
  I
• 8:50
  was
• 8:51
  a
• 8:51
  big
• 8:51
  part
• 8:51
  of
• 8:51
  myself
• 8:52
  story.
• 8:52
  And
• 8:52
  I
• 8:52
  can
• 8:53
  talk
• 8:53
  about
• 8:53
  this
• 8:53
  is
• 8:54
  that
• 8:54
  I
• 8:54
  would
• 8:55
  always
• 8:55
  start
• 8:56
  something
• 8:56
  and
• 8:56
  not
• 8:56
  finish
• 8:57
  it.
• 8:57
  That
• 8:57
  was
• 8:58
  just
• 8:58
  who
• 8:58
  I
• 8:58
  was.
• 8:58
  And
• 8:59
  Kyle
• 8:59
  and
• 8:59
  I
• 8:59
  would
• 8:59
  do
• 8:59
  these
• 9:00
  online
• 9:00
  courses
• 9:01
  and
• 9:01
  Kyle
• 9:01
  would
• 9:01
  just
• 9:01
  get
• 9:02
  it
• 9:02
  done
• 9:02
  in
• 9:02
  the
• 9:02
  weekend.
• 9:03
  She
• 9:03
  just.
• 9:04
  Put
• 9:04
  the
• 9:04
  head
• 9:04
  down,
• 9:05
  she'd
• 9:06
  go
• 9:06
  deep
• 9:06
  and
• 9:06
  she'd
• 9:07
  get
• 9:07
  the
• 9:07
  entire
• 9:07
  course
• 9:07
  done
• 9:08
  over
• 9:08
  two,
• 9:08
  three
• 9:08
  days.
• 9:09
  And
• 9:09
  I
• 9:09
  would
• 9:10
  be
• 9:10
  dipping
• 9:11
  in,
• 9:11
  dipping
• 9:11
  out
• 9:12
  over
• 9:12
  the
• 9:12
  course
• 9:12
  of
• 9:12
  six
• 9:13
  months.
• 9:13
  And
• 9:13
  then
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  would
• 9:13
  just
• 9:13
  lose
• 9:14
  interest.
• 9:14
  And
• 9:14
  then
• 9:14
  I'd
• 9:14
  stop.
• 9:16
  And
• 9:16
  it
• 9:16
  was
• 9:16
  funny.
• 9:16
  It's
• 9:16
  something
• 9:17
  I
• 9:17
  couldn't
• 9:17
  change.
• 9:17
  And
• 9:17
  I
• 9:18
  said
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  myself,
• 9:18
  this
• 9:18
  is
• 9:18
  just
• 9:19
  who
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  am.
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  am
• 9:19
  someone
• 9:20
  who
• 9:20
  just
• 9:20
  doesn't
• 9:21
  finish
• 9:21
  things.
• 9:22
  And
• 9:22
  an
• 9:24
  unexpected.
• 9:26
  Benefit
• 9:26
  of
• 9:26
  me,
• 9:26
  the
• 9:27
  way
• 9:27
  I've
• 9:27
  talked
• 9:27
  a
• 9:27
  lot
• 9:27
  about
• 9:28
  my
• 9:28
  morning
• 9:28
  routine,
• 9:29
  the
• 9:29
  three
• 9:29
  M's
• 9:30
  of
• 9:30
  movement,
• 9:31
  meditation,
• 9:32
  mindset
• 9:33
  I've
• 9:33
  been,
• 9:34
  getting
• 9:34
  up
• 9:34
  early.
• 9:35
  I
• 9:35
  make
• 9:35
  sure
• 9:35
  that
• 9:35
  I
• 9:35
  move
• 9:35
  a
• 9:36
  little
• 9:36
  bit,
• 9:36
  wake
• 9:36
  myself
• 9:37
  up.
• 9:37
  I
• 9:37
  do
• 9:38
  a
• 9:38
  little
• 9:38
  bit
• 9:38
  of
• 9:39
  meditation
• 9:40
  if
• 9:40
  I
• 9:40
  have
• 9:40
  15
• 9:40
  minutes,
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  do
• 9:41
  15
• 9:41
  minutes.
• 9:41
  If
• 9:42
  I
• 9:42
  have
• 9:42
  two
• 9:42
  minutes,
• 9:42
  I
• 9:42
  do
• 9:42
  two
• 9:43
  minutes,
• 9:43
  I
• 9:43
  don't
• 9:43
  hold
• 9:44
  myself
• 9:44
  to
• 9:44
  this
• 9:44
  really
• 9:44
  strong
• 9:45
  thing.
• 9:46
  But
• 9:46
  it's
• 9:46
  been
• 9:46
  really
• 9:47
  interesting.
• 9:47
  I
• 9:47
  think
• 9:47
  through
• 9:47
  showing
• 9:48
  up
• 9:48
  for
• 9:48
  myself
• 9:48
  every
• 9:49
  single
• 9:49
  morning,
• 9:50
  I've
• 9:51
  actually
• 9:51
  started
• 9:52
  to
• 9:52
  shift
• 9:52
  my
• 9:52
  belief
• 9:53
  that
• 9:53
  whether
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  finish
• 9:54
  things
• 9:54
  or
• 9:54
  not,
• 9:54
  because
• 9:55
  every
• 9:55
  day
• 9:56
  before
• 9:56
  I
• 9:56
  start
• 9:56
  the
• 9:56
  rest
• 9:57
  of
• 9:57
  my
• 9:57
  day.
• 9:58
  I'm
• 9:58
  proving
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  myself
• 9:59
  that
• 9:59
  I
• 10:00
  will
• 10:00
  do
• 10:00
  what
• 10:00
  I
• 10:00
  set
• 10:00
  out
• 10:01
  to
• 10:01
  do,
• 10:01
  that
• 10:01
  I
• 10:01
  will
• 10:02
  finish
• 10:02
  this
• 10:02
  thing.
• 10:04
  So
• 10:04
  it's
• 10:04
  been
• 10:04
  really
• 10:04
  incredible
• 10:06
  I
• 10:06
  thought
• 10:06
  the
• 10:06
  reason
• 10:06
  people
• 10:06
  had
• 10:07
  morning
• 10:07
  routines
• 10:07
  was
• 10:07
  to,
• 10:08
  get
• 10:08
  them
• 10:08
  poised
• 10:08
  and
• 10:09
  focused
• 10:09
  and
• 10:09
  set
• 10:10
  up
• 10:10
  for
• 10:10
  their
• 10:10
  day.
• 10:11
  But
• 10:11
  what
• 10:11
  I'm
• 10:11
  realizing
• 10:12
  is
• 10:12
  that
• 10:13
  actually
• 10:14
  it's
• 10:14
  just
• 10:15
  you
• 10:15
  setting
• 10:16
  yourself
• 10:16
  an
• 10:16
  objective
• 10:17
  and
• 10:17
  very
• 10:18
  early
• 10:18
  on
• 10:18
  in
• 10:18
  your
• 10:18
  day,
• 10:18
  you're
• 10:18
  achieving
• 10:19
  a
• 10:19
  goal.
• 10:20
  I
• 10:21
  love
• 10:21
  everything
• 10:22
  you're
• 10:22
  saying
• 10:22
  so
• 10:22
  much
• 10:23
  because
• 10:24
  many
• 10:25
  interesting
• 10:25
  points
• 10:25
  to
• 10:25
  pull
• 10:26
  out
• 10:26
  here.
• 10:26
  The
• 10:26
  first
• 10:27
  one
• 10:27
  being
• 10:27
  that
• 10:28
  identity
• 10:28
  that
• 10:28
  you
• 10:29
  had
• 10:29
  of
• 10:29
  being
• 10:29
  somebody
• 10:29
  who
• 10:29
  doesn't
• 10:30
  finish
• 10:30
  things
• 10:31
  was
• 10:31
  not
• 10:31
  something
• 10:32
  that
• 10:32
  was
• 10:33
  visible
• 10:34
  to
• 10:34
  anyone
• 10:34
  else
• 10:34
  apart
• 10:35
  from
• 10:35
  you.
• 10:35
  So
• 10:35
  it
• 10:36
  was
• 10:36
  just
• 10:36
  a
• 10:36
  self
• 10:36
  held
• 10:37
  identity.
• 10:37
  It
• 10:37
  would
• 10:38
  never
• 10:38
  be
• 10:38
  anything
• 10:38
  that
• 10:38
  I
• 10:39
  would
• 10:39
  ever
• 10:39
  say
• 10:39
  about
• 10:39
  you,
• 10:40
  or
• 10:40
  I
• 10:40
  think
• 10:40
  that
• 10:41
  would
• 10:41
  be
• 10:41
  a
• 10:41
  perception.
• 10:42
  So
• 10:42
  that's
• 10:42
  interesting
• 10:43
  to
• 10:43
  begin
• 10:43
  with.
• 10:44
  The
• 10:44
  second
• 10:44
  thing
• 10:45
  is
• 10:45
  that
• 10:46
  this
• 10:47
  is
• 10:47
  so
• 10:47
  important.
• 10:48
  What
• 10:48
  Pia
• 10:48
  is
• 10:48
  talking
• 10:49
  about
• 10:49
  right
• 10:49
  now.
• 10:49
  It's
• 10:49
  really
• 10:50
  the
• 10:50
  foundation
• 10:51
  of
• 10:51
  my
• 10:52
  own
• 10:52
  experience
• 10:53
  in
• 10:53
  cultivating
• 10:54
  discipline,
• 10:54
  my
• 10:54
  own
• 10:55
  experience
• 10:56
  in
• 10:56
  building
• 10:57
  trust
• 10:57
  in
• 10:58
  myself,
• 10:58
  building
• 10:58
  self
• 10:59
  belief,
• 10:59
  building
• 10:59
  self
• 11:00
  worth,
• 11:00
  building
• 11:00
  self
• 11:01
  love.
• 11:02
  And
• 11:02
  so
• 11:02
  much
• 11:03
  of
• 11:03
  the
• 11:03
  work
• 11:03
  that
• 11:03
  I
• 11:03
  do
• 11:04
  with
• 11:04
  my
• 11:04
  clients
• 11:05
  starts
• 11:05
  with
• 11:05
  this
• 11:06
  layer
• 11:06
  of
• 11:06
  foundation
• 11:07
  where
• 11:08
  you
• 11:08
  start
• 11:08
  showing
• 11:08
  up
• 11:08
  for
• 11:09
  yourself
• 11:09
  on
• 11:09
  a
• 11:09
  daily
• 11:09
  basis.
• 11:10
  Everything
• 11:11
  in
• 11:11
  your
• 11:11
  life
• 11:11
  will
• 11:11
  change
• 11:12
  because
• 11:13
  it's
• 11:13
  that
• 11:13
  simple
• 11:14
  act
• 11:14
  of
• 11:14
  saying
• 11:16
  one,
• 11:17
  my
• 11:17
  word
• 11:18
  means
• 11:18
  something,
• 11:19
  right?
• 11:21
  So
• 11:21
  many
• 11:21
  of
• 11:21
  the
• 11:22
  things
• 11:22
  go
• 11:22
  wrong
• 11:22
  for
• 11:23
  people
• 11:23
  because
• 11:23
  they're
• 11:23
  constantly
• 11:24
  setting
• 11:25
  intentions
• 11:26
  that
• 11:26
  they
• 11:26
  don't
• 11:26
  keep.
• 11:27
  Like
• 11:27
  I'm
• 11:28
  going
• 11:28
  to
• 11:28
  go
• 11:28
  to
• 11:28
  the
• 11:28
  gym
• 11:28
  or
• 11:28
  I'm
• 11:29
  going
• 11:29
  to
• 11:29
  go
• 11:29
  for
• 11:29
  a
• 11:29
  run
• 11:29
  or
• 11:29
  I'm
• 11:30
  going
• 11:30
  to
• 11:30
  do
• 11:30
  all
• 11:30
  these
• 11:30
  things
• 11:30
  and
• 11:30
  they
• 11:30
  don't
• 11:31
  do
• 11:31
  them.
• 11:31
  And
• 11:31
  it's
• 11:31
  so
• 11:32
  damaging
• 11:33
  because
• 11:33
  it
• 11:33
  means
• 11:34
  that
• 11:34
  they
• 11:34
  erode
• 11:34
  trust
• 11:35
  in
• 11:35
  themselves
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  it
• 11:35
  means
• 11:36
  that
• 11:36
  they
• 11:36
  don't
• 11:36
  believe
• 11:37
  themselves.
• 11:38
  And
• 11:38
  what
• 11:38
  they
• 11:38
  say
• 11:38
  they're
• 11:39
  going
• 11:39
  to
• 11:39
  do.
• 11:40
  So
• 11:40
  I
• 11:41
  noticed
• 11:41
  this
• 11:42
  time
• 11:43
  and
• 11:43
  time
• 11:43
  again
• 11:43
  with
• 11:44
  my
• 11:44
  clients
• 11:45
  that
• 11:46
  the
• 11:46
  lesson
• 11:47
  we
• 11:47
  work
• 11:47
  on
• 11:48
  is
• 11:48
  that
• 11:48
  don't
• 11:50
  reduce
• 11:50
  the
• 11:51
  amount
• 11:51
  of
• 11:51
  time
• 11:52
  you're
• 11:52
  going
• 11:52
  to
• 11:52
  spend
• 11:52
  doing
• 11:53
  something
• 11:53
  like
• 11:54
  a
• 11:54
  meditation
• 11:55
  a
• 11:56
  movement
• 11:57
  practice,
• 11:58
  like
• 11:58
  some
• 11:59
  mindset
• 11:59
  work,
• 12:00
  but
• 12:00
  don't
• 12:00
  reduce
• 12:01
  the
• 12:01
  occurrence
• 12:02
  at
• 12:02
  which
• 12:02
  you've
• 12:02
  committed
• 12:03
  to
• 12:03
  do
• 12:03
  it.
• 12:04
  Even
• 12:04
  if
• 12:04
  you
• 12:04
  only
• 12:04
  do
• 12:05
  a
• 12:05
  30
• 12:05
  second
• 12:05
  meditation,
• 12:06
  you
• 12:06
  still
• 12:06
  did
• 12:06
  it.
• 12:07
  You
• 12:07
  still
• 12:07
  exactly.
• 12:08
  And
• 12:08
  you've
• 12:08
  got
• 12:09
  to
• 12:09
  show
• 12:10
  up
• 12:10
  for
• 12:10
  yourself.
• 12:11
  That's
• 12:11
  so
• 12:12
  important
• 12:13
  on
• 12:13
  a
• 12:13
  daily
• 12:13
  basis.
• 12:14
  And
• 12:14
  this
• 12:15
  is
• 12:15
  why
• 12:15
  I
• 12:15
  think
• 12:16
  new
• 12:16
  year's
• 12:16
  resolutions
• 12:17
  are
• 12:17
  so
• 12:17
  damaging
• 12:18
  because
• 12:18
  people
• 12:18
  start
• 12:19
  off
• 12:19
  at
• 12:19
  the
• 12:19
  start
• 12:20
  of
• 12:20
  the
• 12:20
  year
• 12:20
  and
• 12:21
  they
• 12:21
  set
• 12:21
  themselves
• 12:22
  these
• 12:22
  really
• 12:23
  lofty
• 12:23
  goals.
• 12:24
  I'm
• 12:24
  going
• 12:24
  to
• 12:24
  go
• 12:24
  to
• 12:24
  the
• 12:24
  gym
• 12:25
  five
• 12:25
  days
• 12:25
  a
• 12:25
  week.
• 12:25
  And
• 12:26
  then
• 12:26
  when
• 12:26
  they
• 12:26
  don't
• 12:26
  do
• 12:27
  it,
• 12:27
  you're
• 12:27
  right.
• 12:28
  That
• 12:28
  it's
• 12:28
  so
• 12:28
  damaging
• 12:29
  because
• 12:29
  it
• 12:29
  erodes
• 12:30
  their
• 12:30
  trust
• 12:30
  in
• 12:30
  themselves.
• 12:31
  They
• 12:31
  stop
• 12:31
  showing
• 12:32
  up
• 12:32
  for
• 12:32
  themselves
• 12:33
  because
• 12:33
  they've
• 12:33
  set
• 12:33
  themselves
• 12:34
  this
• 12:34
  unattainable
• 12:35
  task.
• 12:37
  And
• 12:37
  then
• 12:37
  when
• 12:38
  they
• 12:38
  don't
• 12:38
  actually
• 12:39
  follow
• 12:39
  through
• 12:39
  on
• 12:39
  it
• 12:39
  after
• 12:40
  a
• 12:40
  month,
• 12:40
  two
• 12:40
  months,
• 12:41
  three
• 12:41
  months,
• 12:42
  it
• 12:42
  becomes
• 12:42
  part
• 12:43
  of
• 12:43
  their
• 12:43
  self
• 12:43
  story
• 12:43
  that
• 12:43
  I'm
• 12:44
  just
• 12:44
  not
• 12:44
  someone
• 12:44
  who,
• 12:45
  is
• 12:45
  committed
• 12:46
  or
• 12:46
  I'm
• 12:46
  not
• 12:46
  someone
• 12:46
  who
• 12:47
  goes
• 12:47
  to
• 12:47
  the
• 12:47
  gym
• 12:47
  and
• 12:48
  then
• 12:48
  that
• 12:48
  starts
• 12:48
  to
• 12:48
  trickle
• 12:48
  into
• 12:49
  other
• 12:49
  areas
• 12:49
  of
• 12:49
  their
• 12:49
  life.
• 12:50
  It's
• 12:50
  like
• 12:50
  whether
• 12:51
  you
• 12:51
  want
• 12:51
  to
• 12:52
  build
• 12:52
  deeper
• 12:52
  relationships
• 12:53
  with
• 12:53
  your
• 12:53
  friends
• 12:53
  and
• 12:53
  then
• 12:53
  you
• 12:54
  start
• 12:54
  canceling
• 12:54
  on
• 12:54
  them,
• 12:55
  you
• 12:55
  know
• 12:55
  how
• 12:56
  you're
• 12:56
  going
• 12:56
  to
• 12:56
  show
• 12:56
  up
• 12:56
  for
• 12:56
  a
• 12:57
  client
• 12:57
  or
• 12:57
  how
• 12:57
  you're
• 12:57
  going
• 12:58
  to
• 12:58
  show
• 12:58
  up
• 12:58
  for
• 12:58
  your
• 12:58
  colleagues,
• 12:58
  it
• 12:59
  goes
• 13:00
  everywhere.
• 13:01
  Yeah.
• 13:01
  I
• 13:01
  love
• 13:01
  what
• 13:01
  you
• 13:01
  just
• 13:02
  said
• 13:02
  then
• 13:02
  that
• 13:02
  you
• 13:03
  brought
• 13:03
  up,
• 13:03
  friendships.
• 13:04
  Cause
• 13:04
  as
• 13:04
  I
• 13:05
  was
• 13:05
  on
• 13:05
  my
• 13:05
  walk
• 13:05
  this
• 13:05
  morning,
• 13:06
  so
• 13:06
  funny
• 13:06
  that
• 13:06
  we
• 13:06
  are
• 13:07
  now
• 13:07
  talking
• 13:07
  about
• 13:07
  this.
• 13:08
  I
• 13:08
  was
• 13:08
  thinking
• 13:08
  about
• 13:09
  this
• 13:09
  concept
• 13:09
  of
• 13:09
  done
• 13:10
  is
• 13:10
  better
• 13:11
  than
• 13:11
  perfect.
• 13:12
  And
• 13:14
  it's
• 13:14
  cause
• 13:14
  I
• 13:14
  was
• 13:14
  going
• 13:14
  to
• 13:14
  create
• 13:15
  some
• 13:15
  content
• 13:15
  around
• 13:15
  it.
• 13:15
  And
• 13:15
  one
• 13:16
  of
• 13:16
  the
• 13:16
  things
• 13:16
  is
• 13:16
  that,
• 13:17
  if
• 13:17
  you
• 13:17
  have
• 13:17
  been
• 13:17
  meaning
• 13:18
  to
• 13:18
  call
• 13:18
  your
• 13:18
  friends
• 13:19
  and,
• 13:19
  have
• 13:19
  a
• 13:19
  long
• 13:20
  catch
• 13:20
  up
• 13:20
  with
• 13:20
  them,
• 13:20
  and
• 13:21
  it's
• 13:21
  just
• 13:21
  this
• 13:21
  thing
• 13:22
  that,
• 13:22
  it's
• 13:22
  running
• 13:22
  for
• 13:22
  weeks
• 13:23
  now,
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  never
• 13:23
  get
• 13:23
  around
• 13:24
  to
• 13:24
  it
• 13:24
  or
• 13:24
  emailing
• 13:25
  somebody,
• 13:25
  yada
• 13:26
  yada.
• 13:26
  Just
• 13:27
  voicemail
• 13:27
  them,
• 13:28
  just
• 13:28
  send
• 13:28
  them
• 13:28
  a
• 13:28
  voice
• 13:28
  note
• 13:29
  or
• 13:29
  send
• 13:29
  them
• 13:30
  a
• 13:30
  quick
• 13:30
  email
• 13:31
  with
• 13:31
  a
• 13:31
  joke
• 13:31
  in
• 13:32
  it.
• 13:32
  Just
• 13:33
  do
• 13:33
  something.
• 13:35
  People
• 13:35
  create
• 13:36
  things
• 13:36
  to
• 13:36
  be
• 13:36
  really
• 13:36
  big
• 13:37
  and
• 13:37
  then
• 13:37
  they
• 13:37
  don't
• 13:38
  take
• 13:38
  action
• 13:38
  on
• 13:38
  them.
• 13:39
  And
• 13:39
  you
• 13:39
  know
• 13:39
  what?
• 13:40
  Just
• 13:40
  get
• 13:40
  it
• 13:40
  done.
• 13:40
  Just
• 13:41
  do
• 13:41
  the
• 13:41
  touching.
• 13:42
  It
• 13:42
  doesn't
• 13:43
  need
• 13:43
  to
• 13:43
  be
• 13:43
  perfect,
• 13:44
  but
• 13:44
  just
• 13:44
  get
• 13:45
  it
• 13:45
  done.
• 13:46
  You're
• 13:46
  absolutely
• 13:47
  right.
• 13:47
  And
• 13:47
  it's
• 13:48
  so
• 13:48
  funny
• 13:48
  because
• 13:48
  I
• 13:48
  was
• 13:49
  over
• 13:49
  in
• 13:49
  my
• 13:49
  aunt's
• 13:50
  house
• 13:50
  two
• 13:50
  weeks
• 13:50
  ago
• 13:51
  and
• 13:51
  she
• 13:51
  sent
• 13:51
  me
• 13:51
  home
• 13:51
  with
• 13:51
  loads
• 13:52
  of
• 13:52
  cake
• 13:52
  to
• 13:52
  put
• 13:52
  in
• 13:52
  my
• 13:52
  freezer.
• 13:53
  And
• 13:54
  and
• 13:54
  I
• 13:54
  never
• 13:54
  did.
• 13:55
  And
• 13:55
  now
• 13:55
  I'm
• 13:55
  like,
• 13:56
  it's
• 13:56
  gone
• 13:56
  too
• 13:56
  long.
• 13:57
  I
• 13:57
  can't
• 13:58
  just
• 13:58
  fucking
• 13:59
  do
• 13:59
  it,
• 13:59
  because
• 13:59
  it's
• 13:59
  going
• 14:00
  to
• 14:00
  make
• 14:00
  her
• 14:00
  feel
• 14:00
  good.
• 14:00
  It's
• 14:00
  going
• 14:01
  to
• 14:01
  make
• 14:01
  her
• 14:01
  feel
• 14:01
  appreciated
• 14:02
  because
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  really
• 14:02
  did
• 14:02
  appreciate
• 14:03
  the
• 14:03
  day.
• 14:04
  And
• 14:05
  it's
• 14:05
  like
• 14:05
  creating
• 14:05
  that
• 14:05
  little
• 14:05
  moment
• 14:06
  of
• 14:06
  connection.
• 14:07
  Yeah.
• 14:07
  And
• 14:07
  I
• 14:08
  think
• 14:08
  when
• 14:08
  you
• 14:08
  start
• 14:08
  smashing
• 14:09
  those
• 14:09
  little
• 14:09
  touch
• 14:10
  points
• 14:10
  and
• 14:11
  you
• 14:11
  get
• 14:11
  in
• 14:11
  the
• 14:11
  mindset
• 14:12
  of
• 14:12
  done
• 14:12
  is
• 14:12
  better
• 14:12
  than
• 14:12
  perfect.
• 14:13
  What
• 14:13
  you
• 14:13
  realize
• 14:14
  is
• 14:14
  that
• 14:14
  by
• 14:14
  getting
• 14:15
  stuff
• 14:15
  done,
• 14:15
  you
• 14:16
  are
• 14:16
  a
• 14:16
  doer.
• 14:17
  And
• 14:18
  so
• 14:18
  it's,
• 14:18
  again,
• 14:18
  it's
• 14:18
  that
• 14:19
  like
• 14:19
  self
• 14:19
  story
• 14:19
  of
• 14:19
  I'm
• 14:20
  a
• 14:20
  doer.
• 14:21
  Being
• 14:21
  perfect,
• 14:22
  I
• 14:22
  was
• 14:22
  thinking
• 14:22
  about
• 14:23
  this
• 14:23
  on
• 14:23
  my
• 14:23
  walk
• 14:23
  today
• 14:24
  and
• 14:24
  I'm
• 14:24
  like
• 14:24
  being
• 14:24
  perfect
• 14:25
  is
• 14:25
  basically
• 14:26
  that's
• 14:26
  no
• 14:27
  one,
• 14:27
  not,
• 14:27
  it's
• 14:28
  not
• 14:28
  inspirational.
• 14:29
  It's
• 14:29
  not
• 14:29
  aspirational.
• 14:30
  It's
• 14:31
  unattainable.
• 14:32
  It's
• 14:32
  just
• 14:32
  stupid.
• 14:33
  So
• 14:33
  done
• 14:34
  is
• 14:34
  great.
• 14:35
  That's
• 14:35
  somebody
• 14:35
  who
• 14:35
  takes
• 14:36
  action
• 14:37
  who
• 14:39
  moves
• 14:39
  things
• 14:39
  forward.
• 14:40
  Yeah.
• 14:41
  Yeah.
• 14:42
  Yeah.
• 14:42
  And
• 14:42
  it's
• 14:42
  definitely,
• 14:42
  it's
• 14:43
  this
• 14:44
  idea
• 14:44
  of
• 14:45
  getting
• 14:45
  things
• 14:45
  done
• 14:46
  is
• 14:46
  really.
• 14:47
  It's
• 14:47
  permeated
• 14:47
  into
• 14:48
  how
• 14:48
  I
• 14:48
  work
• 14:48
  or
• 14:49
  I
• 14:49
  structure
• 14:49
  my
• 14:49
  work
• 14:50
  day,
• 14:50
  which
• 14:50
  is,
• 14:51
  I
• 14:51
  used
• 14:51
  to
• 14:51
  just
• 14:52
  do
• 14:52
  little
• 14:52
  an
• 14:52
  hour
• 14:53
  here
• 14:53
  of
• 14:53
  all
• 14:53
  this
• 14:54
  like
• 14:54
  surface
• 14:55
  level
• 14:55
  work,
• 14:56
  and
• 14:56
  then
• 14:56
  I'd
• 14:56
  shift
• 14:56
  to
• 14:56
  something
• 14:57
  else.
• 14:57
  And
• 14:57
  what
• 14:57
  I've
• 14:57
  learned
• 14:58
  about
• 14:58
  myself
• 14:58
  over
• 14:58
  time
• 14:59
  is
• 14:59
  that
• 14:59
  I
• 14:59
  need
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  go
• 14:59
  deep
• 15:00
  on
• 15:00
  one
• 15:00
  task
• 15:01
  in
• 15:01
  order
• 15:01
  to
• 15:01
  really
• 15:02
  start
• 15:02
  to
• 15:02
  move
• 15:02
  it
• 15:02
  forward.
• 15:03
  And
• 15:04
  so
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  measure
• 15:05
  my
• 15:05
  success
• 15:05
  of
• 15:06
  a
• 15:06
  week
• 15:06
  as
• 15:07
  to
• 15:07
  what
• 15:07
  do
• 15:07
  I
• 15:07
  want
• 15:08
  to
• 15:08
  get
• 15:08
  done?
• 15:09
  What
• 15:09
  do
• 15:09
  I
• 15:09
  want
• 15:09
  to
• 15:09
  get
• 15:10
  moved
• 15:10
  off
• 15:10
  my
• 15:10
  desk?
• 15:11
  And
• 15:11
  I
• 15:12
  work
• 15:12
  on
• 15:12
  it
• 15:12
  for
• 15:12
  a
• 15:12
  long
• 15:13
  time
• 15:13
  until
• 15:13
  I
• 15:13
  have.
• 15:14
  done
• 15:14
  that.
• 15:15
  And
• 15:15
  that's
• 15:15
  just
• 15:15
  how
• 15:15
  I
• 15:16
  work.
• 15:16
  Some
• 15:16
  people
• 15:16
  are
• 15:16
  really
• 15:17
  good
• 15:17
  at
• 15:17
  jumping
• 15:18
  between
• 15:18
  tasks
• 15:19
  and
• 15:19
  just
• 15:20
  moving
• 15:20
  an
• 15:20
  hour
• 15:20
  forward
• 15:21
  every
• 15:21
  single
• 15:22
  day.
• 15:23
  That's
• 15:23
  not
• 15:23
  how
• 15:23
  I
• 15:23
  work,
• 15:24
  but
• 15:25
  I
• 15:25
  am
• 15:26
  interested
• 15:26
  Kaya
• 15:27
  in
• 15:27
  knowing
• 15:27
  what
• 15:28
  was
• 15:28
  a
• 15:28
  negative
• 15:30
  self
• 15:30
  story
• 15:30
  that
• 15:30
  you
• 15:30
  had
• 15:31
  about
• 15:31
  yourself
• 15:31
  that
• 15:31
  you
• 15:32
  slowly
• 15:32
  started
• 15:32
  to
• 15:32
  shift.
• 15:35
  I
• 15:35
  had
• 15:35
  a
• 15:35
  negative
• 15:36
  self
• 15:36
  story
• 15:36
  and
• 15:36
  it's
• 15:37
  something
• 15:37
  that
• 15:37
  still
• 15:37
  comes
• 15:38
  up
• 15:39
  as
• 15:39
  is
• 15:40
  going
• 15:40
  to
• 15:40
  be
• 15:40
  the
• 15:40
  case
• 15:40
  for
• 15:40
  a
• 15:40
  lot
• 15:41
  of
• 15:41
  people
• 15:41
  with
• 15:42
  their
• 15:43
  core,
• 15:43
  childhood
• 15:43
  rooted
• 15:44
  beliefs.
• 15:45
  Basically
• 15:45
  mine
• 15:45
  was
• 15:46
  that
• 15:46
  I
• 15:46
  was
• 15:46
  bad.
• 15:47
  And
• 15:48
  it's
• 15:48
  interesting
• 15:49
  because
• 15:49
  I
• 15:49
  think
• 15:49
  through
• 15:49
  my
• 15:49
  work,
• 15:51
  I
• 15:51
  realized
• 15:51
  that's
• 15:52
  quite
• 15:52
  a
• 15:52
  common
• 15:52
  belief
• 15:52
  that
• 15:52
  people
• 15:53
  have
• 15:54
  is
• 15:54
  that
• 15:54
  they
• 15:55
  think
• 15:55
  they're
• 15:55
  bad.
• 15:56
  And
• 15:58
  the
• 15:58
  way
• 15:58
  that
• 15:58
  can
• 15:58
  manifest
• 15:59
  is
• 15:59
  in
• 15:59
  a
• 15:59
  lot
• 15:59
  of
• 15:59
  things.
• 16:00
  It's
• 16:01
  then
• 16:01
  that
• 16:01
  you
• 16:01
  are
• 16:01
  doing.
• 16:03
  You're
• 16:03
  doing
• 16:03
  self
• 16:04
  sabotaging
• 16:04
  behavior.
• 16:05
  So
• 16:05
  it
• 16:05
  could
• 16:05
  be
• 16:05
  things
• 16:06
  like
• 16:07
  overindulgence
• 16:08
  in
• 16:09
  destructive
• 16:09
  behaviors,
• 16:09
  like
• 16:10
  drinking
• 16:11
  drugs.
• 16:11
  It
• 16:11
  could
• 16:11
  be
• 16:12
  doing
• 16:12
  things
• 16:12
  like
• 16:12
  cheating
• 16:13
  on
• 16:14
  your
• 16:14
  partner.
• 16:15
  It
• 16:15
  could
• 16:15
  be
• 16:16
  stealing.
• 16:16
  It
• 16:17
  could
• 16:17
  be
• 16:17
  just
• 16:17
  these
• 16:18
  things
• 16:18
  that
• 16:19
  don't
• 16:19
  feel
• 16:19
  good
• 16:20
  and
• 16:20
  you
• 16:20
  don't
• 16:20
  understand
• 16:21
  why
• 16:21
  you're
• 16:21
  doing
• 16:21
  them.
• 16:22
  And
• 16:23
  when
• 16:23
  you
• 16:23
  strip
• 16:23
  it
• 16:23
  back,
• 16:23
  it's
• 16:24
  because.
• 16:25
  The
• 16:25
  number
• 16:25
  one
• 16:26
  what's
• 16:27
  this
• 16:27
  great
• 16:27
  Tony
• 16:27
  Robbins
• 16:28
  thing.
• 16:28
  It's
• 16:28
  like
• 16:28
  the
• 16:28
  number
• 16:29
  one
• 16:29
  thing
• 16:29
  that
• 16:30
  you
• 16:30
  will
• 16:30
  always
• 16:31
  do
• 16:31
  is
• 16:31
  act
• 16:31
  in
• 16:32
  alignment
• 16:32
  with
• 16:33
  who
• 16:33
  you
• 16:33
  think
• 16:33
  you
• 16:34
  are.
• 16:35
  And
• 16:35
  so
• 16:35
  until
• 16:36
  you
• 16:36
  actually
• 16:36
  start
• 16:38
  looking
• 16:38
  at
• 16:39
  those
• 16:40
  deep
• 16:40
  rooted
• 16:40
  beliefs.
• 16:41
  Another
• 16:41
  one
• 16:41
  of
• 16:42
  mine
• 16:42
  is
• 16:42
  that
• 16:42
  people
• 16:42
  don't
• 16:42
  like
• 16:43
  me
• 16:44
  and
• 16:44
  they
• 16:44
  stem
• 16:44
  from
• 16:44
  my
• 16:44
  childhood.
• 16:45
  They
• 16:45
  stem
• 16:45
  from
• 16:46
  being,
• 16:46
  mixed
• 16:46
  race
• 16:47
  in
• 16:47
  a
• 16:47
  time
• 16:47
  when
• 16:48
  there
• 16:48
  weren't
• 16:48
  a
• 16:48
  lot
• 16:48
  of
• 16:48
  mixed
• 16:48
  race
• 16:49
  kids
• 16:49
  coming
• 16:50
  around.
• 16:50
  It's
• 16:50
  like
• 16:50
  having
• 16:51
  a
• 16:51
  teacher
• 16:51
  who
• 16:51
  really
• 16:52
  picked
• 16:52
  on
• 16:52
  me
• 16:52
  when
• 16:52
  I
• 16:52
  was
• 16:53
  in
• 16:53
  primary
• 16:53
  school.
• 16:54
  Many
• 16:55
  people
• 16:55
  have
• 16:55
  these
• 16:55
  experiences
• 16:56
  in
• 16:56
  their
• 16:56
  childhood
• 16:57
  and,
• 16:58
  often
• 16:59
  to
• 16:59
  do
• 16:59
  with
• 16:59
  the
• 16:59
  family
• 16:59
  dynamics
• 17:00
  or
• 17:00
  to
• 17:01
  do
• 17:01
  with
• 17:01
  something
• 17:01
  that
• 17:01
  happens
• 17:02
  to
• 17:02
  them
• 17:03
  in
• 17:04
  school
• 17:04
  at
• 17:04
  a
• 17:04
  young
• 17:05
  age
• 17:05
  that
• 17:07
  they
• 17:07
  hold
• 17:07
  so
• 17:08
  tight
• 17:08
  inside
• 17:08
  of
• 17:09
  them.
• 17:09
  They
• 17:09
  almost
• 17:09
  forget
• 17:10
  that
• 17:10
  they're
• 17:10
  even
• 17:10
  there.
• 17:11
  Yeah.
• 17:12
  And
• 17:13
  Yet,
• 17:14
  there
• 17:14
  are
• 17:14
  so
• 17:14
  many
• 17:15
  one
• 17:15
  of
• 17:15
  the
• 17:15
  things
• 17:15
  that
• 17:15
  I
• 17:16
  do
• 17:16
  with
• 17:16
  my
• 17:16
  clients
• 17:16
  now
• 17:17
  is
• 17:17
  that
• 17:18
  in
• 17:18
  a
• 17:18
  session,
• 17:19
  we'll
• 17:19
  look
• 17:19
  at
• 17:20
  an
• 17:20
  experience
• 17:20
  that
• 17:21
  they're
• 17:21
  having,
• 17:21
  go
• 17:22
  back
• 17:22
  to
• 17:22
  that
• 17:22
  experience,
• 17:23
  the
• 17:23
  negative
• 17:23
  emotions
• 17:24
  that
• 17:24
  they're
• 17:24
  having.
• 17:25
  And
• 17:25
  as
• 17:26
  we're
• 17:26
  doing
• 17:26
  a
• 17:27
  visualization,
• 17:28
  I
• 17:28
  will
• 17:28
  ask
• 17:28
  them
• 17:28
  to
• 17:28
  pay
• 17:29
  attention
• 17:29
  to
• 17:29
  what's
• 17:29
  happening
• 17:30
  in
• 17:30
  their
• 17:30
  mind.
• 17:31
  What
• 17:31
  are
• 17:31
  they
• 17:31
  saying?
• 17:32
  What
• 17:32
  are
• 17:32
  they
• 17:32
  saying
• 17:33
  to
• 17:33
  themselves
• 17:33
  at
• 17:33
  this
• 17:33
  exact
• 17:34
  moment?
• 17:34
  And,
• 17:35
  the
• 17:35
  things
• 17:35
  that
• 17:35
  people
• 17:35
  are
• 17:35
  saying
• 17:36
  to
• 17:36
  themselves
• 17:36
  is,
• 17:38
  you're
• 17:38
  not
• 17:38
  good
• 17:38
  enough.
• 17:39
  Nobody
• 17:39
  likes
• 17:40
  you.
• 17:40
  You're
• 17:41
  a
• 17:41
  failure.
• 17:42
  Like
• 17:42
  it's
• 17:43
  this
• 17:43
  abusive
• 17:44
  language
• 17:45
  that
• 17:45
  I
• 17:45
  can
• 17:46
  tell
• 17:46
  you
• 17:46
  is
• 17:46
  going
• 17:47
  on
• 17:47
  in
• 17:48
  many
• 17:48
  people's
• 17:48
  heads.
• 17:49
  And
• 17:50
  a
• 17:50
  lot
• 17:50
  of
• 17:50
  the
• 17:50
  time
• 17:51
  we
• 17:51
  are
• 17:51
  not
• 17:52
  conscious
• 17:52
  that
• 17:52
  this
• 17:52
  is
• 17:53
  happening.
• 17:54
  And
• 17:54
  if
• 17:54
  you
• 17:54
  live
• 17:55
  with
• 17:55
  somebody
• 17:55
  who
• 17:55
  was
• 17:55
  saying
• 17:56
  all
• 17:56
  of
• 17:56
  this
• 17:56
  abusive
• 17:56
  stuff
• 17:57
  to
• 17:57
  you
• 17:57
  all
• 17:57
  the
• 17:57
  time,
• 17:59
  Most
• 17:59
  of
• 17:59
  us,
• 17:59
  we
• 17:59
  put
• 17:59
  an
• 18:00
  end
• 18:00
  to
• 18:00
  it
• 18:01
  and
• 18:01
  we
• 18:01
  don't
• 18:01
  realize
• 18:02
  that
• 18:02
  we're
• 18:02
  living
• 18:02
  with
• 18:02
  ourselves
• 18:03
  and
• 18:03
  we're
• 18:03
  saying
• 18:03
  these
• 18:03
  things
• 18:04
  to
• 18:04
  ourselves
• 18:04
  all
• 18:05
  the
• 18:05
  time.
• 18:05
  So
• 18:05
  I
• 18:05
  think
• 18:06
  that
• 18:06
  it
• 18:07
  is
• 18:07
  that
• 18:07
  is
• 18:08
  the
• 18:08
  value
• 18:08
  that
• 18:08
  comes
• 18:09
  from
• 18:09
  doing
• 18:10
  something
• 18:10
  like
• 18:10
  mental
• 18:10
  fitness
• 18:11
  training,
• 18:12
  working
• 18:12
  with
• 18:13
  a
• 18:13
  coach
• 18:14
  is
• 18:14
  that
• 18:14
  you
• 18:15
  really
• 18:15
  begin
• 18:15
  to
• 18:16
  start
• 18:16
  paying
• 18:16
  attention
• 18:17
  to
• 18:17
  what's
• 18:17
  happening
• 18:19
  in
• 18:19
  your
• 18:19
  subconscious.
• 18:20
  And
• 18:20
  that
• 18:21
  gives
• 18:21
  you
• 18:22
  the
• 18:22
  ability
• 18:23
  to
• 18:23
  change
• 18:23
  very
• 18:24
  quickly
• 18:25
  your
• 18:25
  identity.
• 18:26
  Just
• 18:27
  by
• 18:27
  quieting,
• 18:28
  this
• 18:28
  voice
• 18:29
  that's
• 18:29
  telling
• 18:29
  you
• 18:29
  something
• 18:30
  nefarious.
• 18:31
  I
• 18:31
  love
• 18:31
  that
• 18:31
  you
• 18:31
  brought
• 18:31
  up
• 18:31
  that
• 18:32
  Tony
• 18:32
  Robbins
• 18:32
  quote,
• 18:33
  because
• 18:33
  we
• 18:33
  do
• 18:33
  act
• 18:34
  in
• 18:34
  alignment
• 18:35
  with
• 18:35
  who
• 18:35
  we
• 18:35
  think
• 18:35
  we
• 18:35
  are.
• 18:36
  And
• 18:37
  it's
• 18:37
  another
• 18:37
  one
• 18:38
  is,
• 18:38
  we
• 18:38
  accept
• 18:38
  the
• 18:38
  love
• 18:39
  that
• 18:39
  we
• 18:39
  think
• 18:39
  we
• 18:39
  deserve.
• 18:40
  So
• 18:40
  if
• 18:40
  we
• 18:40
  think
• 18:41
  we're
• 18:41
  a
• 18:41
  piece
• 18:41
  of
• 18:41
  shit,
• 18:42
  we're
• 18:42
  going
• 18:42
  to
• 18:42
  accept
• 18:43
  a
• 18:43
  relationship
• 18:44
  that
• 18:44
  treats
• 18:44
  us
• 18:45
  like
• 18:45
  a
• 18:45
  piece
• 18:45
  of
• 18:45
  shit.
• 18:46
  But
• 18:46
  I'm
• 18:47
  interested
• 18:47
  to
• 18:47
  know,
• 18:47
  I
• 18:48
  never
• 18:48
  knew
• 18:48
  that
• 18:48
  you
• 18:49
  thought
• 18:49
  you
• 18:49
  were
• 18:49
  bad.
• 18:49
  I
• 18:49
  never
• 18:50
  knew
• 18:50
  about
• 18:50
  that
• 18:50
  self
• 18:50
  belief.
• 18:51
  How
• 18:52
  did
• 18:52
  you
• 18:52
  move
• 18:52
  away
• 18:52
  from
• 18:53
  that?
• 18:53
  How
• 18:53
  did
• 18:53
  you
• 18:53
  start
• 18:53
  to
• 18:53
  show
• 18:53
  yourself
• 18:54
  that
• 18:54
  you
• 18:54
  are
• 18:55
  fundamentally
• 18:55
  good?
• 18:58
  I
• 18:58
  think
• 18:58
  it's.
• 18:59
  It's
• 19:00
  been,
• 19:00
  there's
• 19:01
  been
• 19:01
  multiple
• 19:03
  modes
• 19:03
  that
• 19:03
  I've
• 19:04
  used.
• 19:06
  I'd
• 19:06
  say
• 19:06
  journaling
• 19:07
  has
• 19:07
  been
• 19:08
  something
• 19:08
  that's
• 19:09
  been
• 19:09
  a
• 19:09
  personal
• 19:09
  practice
• 19:10
  that's
• 19:10
  available
• 19:10
  to
• 19:10
  people
• 19:11
  right
• 19:11
  now
• 19:12
  at
• 19:12
  a
• 19:12
  very
• 19:12
  low
• 19:12
  entry,
• 19:13
  anybody
• 19:14
  can
• 19:14
  sit
• 19:14
  down
• 19:14
  and
• 19:14
  they
• 19:15
  can
• 19:15
  start
• 19:15
  journaling.
• 19:18
  I
• 19:18
  think
• 19:18
  really
• 19:19
  getting
• 19:19
  into
• 19:19
  the
• 19:19
  bones
• 19:19
  of
• 19:19
  this
• 19:20
  stuff
• 19:20
  happened
• 19:20
  for
• 19:20
  me
• 19:21
  through
• 19:22
  coaching
• 19:23
  and
• 19:24
  through
• 19:24
  meditation
• 19:26
  I've
• 19:26
  done
• 19:26
  quite
• 19:27
  a
• 19:27
  lot
• 19:27
  of
• 19:27
  intense
• 19:28
  yoga
• 19:28
  and
• 19:28
  meditation
• 19:29
  training
• 19:29
  with,
• 19:30
  an
• 19:30
  individual
• 19:30
  teacher.
• 19:31
  So
• 19:31
  these
• 19:32
  things
• 19:32
  do
• 19:33
  come
• 19:33
  to
• 19:33
  the
• 19:33
  surface.
• 19:34
  You,
• 19:35
  we
• 19:35
  hold
• 19:35
  things
• 19:35
  in
• 19:35
  our
• 19:35
  body
• 19:36
  too.
• 19:36
  So
• 19:37
  when
• 19:37
  you
• 19:37
  do
• 19:38
  physical
• 19:38
  work
• 19:38
  it's
• 19:38
  one
• 19:39
  of
• 19:39
  the
• 19:39
  ways
• 19:39
  in
• 19:39
  which
• 19:39
  you
• 19:39
  can
• 19:40
  release
• 19:40
  emotions.
• 19:41
  And
• 19:42
  I
• 19:42
  certainly
• 19:42
  was
• 19:42
  able
• 19:43
  to
• 19:43
  release
• 19:43
  a
• 19:44
  lot
• 19:44
  of.
• 19:45
  Kind
• 19:45
  of
• 19:45
  anger
• 19:46
  and
• 19:46
  childhood
• 19:47
  emotions
• 19:47
  that
• 19:47
  I
• 19:47
  felt
• 19:48
  about
• 19:48
  not
• 19:48
  being
• 19:48
  good
• 19:48
  enough
• 19:49
  for
• 19:49
  my
• 19:49
  relationship
• 19:50
  for
• 19:50
  me.
• 19:51
  I
• 19:51
  had
• 19:51
  quite
• 19:51
  a
• 19:52
  tough
• 19:52
  relationship
• 19:52
  with
• 19:52
  my
• 19:52
  mum
• 19:53
  when
• 19:53
  I
• 19:53
  was
• 19:53
  growing
• 19:53
  up
• 19:53
  that
• 19:54
  came
• 19:54
  out
• 19:54
  through
• 19:54
  my
• 19:55
  yoga
• 19:55
  practice.
• 19:56
  Journaling
• 19:57
  and
• 19:57
  writing
• 19:57
  down
• 19:58
  affirmations
• 19:59
  is
• 19:59
  really
• 20:00
  powerful.
• 20:00
  It's
• 20:00
  something
• 20:00
  I
• 20:01
  use
• 20:01
  with
• 20:01
  all
• 20:01
  of
• 20:01
  my
• 20:01
  clients.
• 20:02
  It's
• 20:02
  something
• 20:03
  again,
• 20:03
  low
• 20:04
  entry
• 20:04
  point
• 20:04
  for
• 20:04
  people
• 20:05
  listening
• 20:06
  is
• 20:07
  to
• 20:07
  just
• 20:07
  think
• 20:08
  about
• 20:09
  some
• 20:09
  affirmations
• 20:10
  that
• 20:10
  you
• 20:10
  could
• 20:10
  say
• 20:10
  to
• 20:11
  yourself
• 20:11
  every
• 20:11
  day.
• 20:12
  The
• 20:12
  ones
• 20:13
  that
• 20:13
  I
• 20:13
  think
• 20:13
  are,
• 20:14
  a
• 20:14
  great
• 20:14
  starting
• 20:14
  point
• 20:15
  for
• 20:15
  everybody
• 20:15
  is
• 20:15
  I
• 20:16
  am
• 20:16
  enough.
• 20:17
  I
• 20:17
  use
• 20:18
  that
• 20:18
  all
• 20:18
  the
• 20:18
  time.
• 20:18
  I
• 20:18
  think
• 20:19
  it's
• 20:19
  really
• 20:19
  powerful.
• 20:20
  It's
• 20:20
  just
• 20:20
  saying
• 20:20
  to
• 20:20
  yourself,
• 20:21
  I
• 20:21
  am
• 20:21
  enough.
• 20:22
  I
• 20:22
  am
• 20:22
  enough.
• 20:23
  I
• 20:23
  am
• 20:24
  worthy.
• 20:24
  I've
• 20:24
  got
• 20:25
  this.
• 20:25
  But
• 20:26
  you
• 20:26
  can
• 20:26
  just
• 20:27
  ask
• 20:28
  yourself
• 20:28
  this
• 20:28
  question,
• 20:29
  When
• 20:30
  you
• 20:30
  reflect
• 20:30
  on
• 20:31
  a
• 20:31
  time
• 20:31
  in
• 20:32
  your
• 20:32
  week
• 20:33
  when
• 20:33
  you
• 20:33
  were
• 20:33
  feeling
• 20:33
  really
• 20:34
  low
• 20:34
  and
• 20:34
  ask
• 20:35
  yourself
• 20:35
  the
• 20:35
  question,
• 20:36
  what
• 20:36
  did
• 20:37
  I
• 20:37
  need
• 20:37
  to
• 20:37
  remember
• 20:38
  at
• 20:38
  that
• 20:38
  time?
• 20:39
  Or
• 20:39
  if
• 20:39
  you
• 20:39
  think
• 20:39
  about
• 20:39
  if
• 20:40
  a
• 20:40
  friend
• 20:40
  was
• 20:40
  coming
• 20:40
  to
• 20:40
  you
• 20:40
  and
• 20:41
  describing
• 20:41
  to
• 20:41
  you
• 20:42
  an
• 20:42
  experience
• 20:43
  that
• 20:43
  you've
• 20:43
  been
• 20:43
  through
• 20:44
  in
• 20:44
  your
• 20:44
  week
• 20:44
  and
• 20:44
  how
• 20:44
  they
• 20:44
  were
• 20:45
  feeling,
• 20:46
  what
• 20:46
  would
• 20:46
  you
• 20:46
  want
• 20:46
  them
• 20:47
  to
• 20:47
  remember?
• 20:48
  And
• 20:48
  just
• 20:48
  trying
• 20:48
  to
• 20:48
  distill
• 20:49
  it
• 20:49
  into,
• 20:50
  short
• 20:50
  affirmations,
• 20:51
  whether
• 20:52
  it's
• 20:52
  look
• 20:52
  how
• 20:52
  far
• 20:52
  you've
• 20:52
  come.
• 20:53
  Yeah.
• 20:54
  I
• 20:54
  think
• 20:54
  that,
• 20:54
  moment
• 20:55
  of
• 20:55
  looking
• 20:56
  back.
• 20:57
  In
• 20:57
  a
• 20:57
  reflective
• 20:57
  sense
• 20:58
  and
• 20:58
  going,
• 20:58
  what
• 20:58
  have
• 20:59
  I
• 20:59
  achieved?
• 21:00
  Because
• 21:00
  we
• 21:00
  never
• 21:01
  take
• 21:01
  stock
• 21:01
  of
• 21:01
  that.
• 21:01
  What
• 21:02
  we
• 21:02
  end
• 21:02
  up
• 21:02
  doing
• 21:02
  is
• 21:02
  we
• 21:03
  end
• 21:03
  up
• 21:03
  mentally
• 21:03
  braiding
• 21:04
  ourselves
• 21:04
  for
• 21:04
  all
• 21:04
  that
• 21:05
  we
• 21:05
  haven't
• 21:05
  done
• 21:06
  and
• 21:06
  going,
• 21:08
  holy
• 21:08
  crap.
• 21:08
  I've
• 21:08
  been
• 21:09
  an
• 21:09
  amazing
• 21:10
  mother
• 21:10
  this
• 21:10
  week.
• 21:11
  I
• 21:11
  did
• 21:11
  this
• 21:11
  for
• 21:11
  my
• 21:12
  partner.
• 21:13
  I
• 21:13
  helped
• 21:13
  out
• 21:14
  this.
• 21:14
  Woman
• 21:15
  in
• 21:15
  crash
• 21:15
  this
• 21:16
  week,
• 21:16
  and
• 21:16
  when
• 21:16
  you
• 21:16
  start
• 21:16
  to
• 21:16
  take
• 21:17
  stock
• 21:17
  of
• 21:17
  that's
• 21:17
  why
• 21:17
  I
• 21:18
  love
• 21:18
  a
• 21:18
  gratitude
• 21:18
  practice
• 21:19
  because
• 21:19
  it's
• 21:19
  not
• 21:20
  just
• 21:20
  sitting
• 21:20
  there
• 21:21
  and
• 21:21
  making
• 21:22
  a
• 21:22
  mental
• 21:22
  list
• 21:22
  of
• 21:23
  everything.
• 21:24
  It's
• 21:24
  about
• 21:24
  going
• 21:25
  back
• 21:25
  over
• 21:25
  your
• 21:25
  week
• 21:25
  and
• 21:26
  remembering
• 21:26
  what
• 21:27
  was
• 21:27
  good
• 21:28
  and
• 21:29
  then
• 21:29
  by
• 21:29
  doing
• 21:29
  that
• 21:29
  you
• 21:30
  start
• 21:30
  to
• 21:30
  realize
• 21:30
  I
• 21:31
  want
• 21:31
  more
• 21:31
  of
• 21:31
  that.
• 21:32
  I
• 21:32
  want
• 21:32
  to
• 21:32
  lean
• 21:32
  more
• 21:33
  into
• 21:33
  that
• 21:33
  energy.
• 21:35
  So
• 21:35
  this
• 21:36
  is
• 21:36
  a
• 21:36
  question
• 21:36
  I
• 21:36
  just
• 21:36
  want
• 21:36
  people
• 21:37
  to
• 21:37
  reflect
• 21:37
  on
• 21:38
  over
• 21:38
  the
• 21:38
  week
• 21:38
  is
• 21:39
  what
• 21:39
  are
• 21:39
  the
• 21:39
  stories
• 21:39
  that
• 21:40
  I'm
• 21:40
  telling
• 21:40
  myself?
• 21:41
  What
• 21:42
  are
• 21:42
  they
• 21:42
  my
• 21:42
  stories?
• 21:43
  Are
• 21:43
  these
• 21:44
  stories
• 21:44
  that
• 21:44
  I
• 21:44
  have
• 21:44
  taken
• 21:45
  on
• 21:45
  from
• 21:45
  previous
• 21:46
  generations
• 21:46
  in
• 21:46
  my
• 21:46
  family
• 21:47
  are
• 21:48
  or
• 21:49
  are
• 21:49
  these
• 21:49
  pressures
• 21:50
  that
• 21:50
  I'm
• 21:50
  getting
• 21:50
  from
• 21:50
  society
• 21:51
  and
• 21:52
  this
• 21:52
  is
• 21:52
  especially
• 21:53
  true
• 21:53
  for
• 21:53
  women.
• 21:55
  Men
• 21:55
  have
• 21:55
  grown
• 21:56
  up
• 21:56
  in
• 21:56
  a
• 21:56
  society
• 21:57
  that
• 21:57
  when
• 21:57
  they
• 21:57
  walk
• 21:57
  into
• 21:57
  a
• 21:57
  room
• 21:58
  and
• 21:58
  they're
• 21:58
  assertive,
• 21:59
  people
• 22:00
  take
• 22:00
  it
• 22:00
  very
• 22:00
  well
• 22:01
  and
• 22:01
  they
• 22:01
  look
• 22:02
  up
• 22:02
  to
• 22:02
  them.
• 22:03
  And
• 22:03
  when
• 22:03
  women
• 22:03
  go
• 22:03
  in
• 22:03
  and
• 22:04
  they're
• 22:04
  assertive,
• 22:04
  they're
• 22:04
  considered
• 22:05
  bossy.
• 22:06
  So
• 22:07
  there
• 22:07
  are
• 22:07
  a
• 22:07
  lot
• 22:08
  of
• 22:08
  these
• 22:08
  pressures
• 22:09
  that,
• 22:09
  are
• 22:09
  foisted
• 22:10
  on
• 22:10
  us
• 22:10
  by
• 22:10
  society
• 22:11
  that
• 22:11
  tend
• 22:11
  to
• 22:11
  go
• 22:12
  on
• 22:12
  and
• 22:12
  shape
• 22:12
  our
• 22:12
  self
• 22:12
  story.
• 22:13
  So
• 22:14
  it's
• 22:14
  looking
• 22:14
  at
• 22:15
  where
• 22:15
  do
• 22:15
  I
• 22:15
  want
• 22:15
  to
• 22:15
  be?
• 22:16
  Is
• 22:16
  my
• 22:16
  self
• 22:16
  story
• 22:17
  helping
• 22:17
  me
• 22:17
  get
• 22:17
  there?
• 22:18
  And
• 22:19
  if
• 22:19
  it
• 22:19
  is
• 22:19
  something
• 22:19
  that
• 22:19
  I
• 22:20
  need
• 22:20
  to
• 22:20
  shift,
• 22:21
  what
• 22:21
  are
• 22:21
  the
• 22:21
  little
• 22:22
  behaviors
• 22:22
  that
• 22:22
  I
• 22:22
  can
• 22:23
  take
• 22:23
  every
• 22:23
  single
• 22:24
  day
• 22:24
  to
• 22:24
  start
• 22:24
  to
• 22:24
  prove
• 22:25
  to
• 22:25
  myself
• 22:26
  that
• 22:27
  I'm
• 22:27
  not
• 22:27
  that
• 22:27
  person,
• 22:27
  that
• 22:28
  I
• 22:28
  am
• 22:28
  the
• 22:28
  person
• 22:28
  that
• 22:29
  I
• 22:29
  want
• 22:29
  to
• 22:29
  be.
• 22:32
  What
• 22:32
  a
• 22:32
  beautiful
• 22:32
  note
• 22:32
  to
• 22:33
  end
• 22:33
  on.
• 22:33
  Thank
• 22:33
  you
• 22:33
  so
• 22:34
  much
• 22:34
  for
• 22:34
  joining
• 22:34
  us
• 22:34
  today.
• 22:35
  Bye.